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A heavy brown backpack jostled against a slender back, the movements rushed and precise as sneakers squeaked against the whitened tiled floors of Paradis High School, another escape attempt of Eren Jaeger.
The bell had signaled the beginning of class, precisely Eren’s history class, which he shared with a certain somebody, the person in question being Eren’s reason to avoid the classroom like a plague.
Honey brown eyes and an annoyingly charming smile made Eren’s guts twist with hatred toward the pretty boy.
That only made Eren more hateful.
Why did it have to be him? Out of everybody, it just had to be the person who had Eren morally debating the ethics of murder and burial of a body.
Jean Kirstein, the single worst person to ever exist, is a stain on God's creation of mankind. While simultaneously holding Eren’s heart hostage with a viper-like grip, the brunette held in the man’s clutches like a wounded dove.
A deep, rattling breath of discomfort morphed from the depths of Eren’s lungs; the air whisked away weakly as he snuck down the brightened hallways toward his freedom. Just past the red double doors was his escape.
Luckily, by the grace of God himself, Eren’s guardian and older brother, Zeke, was off at work, which left the entirety of the home to free rein.
“Jaeger.” A dull voice sounded from the right, a simple monotone call that immediately shut down the will to escape like air in a home being stolen during a tornado.
Dammit.
Dull blue seats, buzzing overhead lights, and a head hung low, Eren sat in the cold office chair outside of the principal's office, listening to his older brother's voice from inside the room, then the responding sound of Mr.Smith, an older gentleman who ran the high school.
It was embarrassing, all of it. Well, would he have preferred facing Jean instead of this?
Maybe this was the better option, Eren decided.
“He just needs one more chance,” Eren could hear Zeke pleading from inside the room, the twenty-four-year-old's voice sounding strained and pleading, desperate for the principal's understanding.
“Mr. Jaeger—”
“Just call me Zeke.”
“Zeke,” A throat cleared, “This has been the sixth time now that Eren has been caught skipping; we cannot keep allowing this to happen. You understand, correct?”
Eren leaned back in his chair, closing sea green eyes to block out the muffled voices behind him, some words more eligible than others, not that he was paying close attention.
It was far from a shocker to the brunette that he was considered a fuckup, or at the very least a problem child.
Funny enough, it was what his parents used to call him and even what his teachers referred to him as.
The door beside Eren swung open, the brunette jerking upward from the abrupt action as the door hit the wall. Eyes flew upward, staring up to see Zeke standing in the doorway, a harsh exhale of air leaving the blonde man as his shoulders further tensed.
“Zeke?”
“Let’s go.” Zeke interrupted Eren’s murmur. The words were quick, but the softening of blue eyes allowed Eren to relax; it wasn’t a long shot to assume that Zeke wasn’t too enraged, a trait that Eren had noticed early on when transferred into the man's custody.
Zeke physically couldn’t stay mad or raise his voice, which fueled Eren’s deviousness of trickery.
That was probably bad to admit.
Eren knew better than to question further; instead, he stood and followed after Zeke, following beside the blonde. The hallways were quiet, students still in class and unaware of the tension in the hallways.
Lucky bastards.
Stepping outside, what had once been Eren's perception of freedom only felt like another shackle as he trudged to the beaten-up truck, figuring that there would finally be a punishment of some kind; maybe he’d finally pushed Zeke too far.
Climbing into the passenger seat, neither man spoke as they individually buckled themselves in, the tension growing until it became unbearable.
The hair collected on Eren’s body felt like it was standing upright, eyes glancing toward the blonde from the corner of his eye, waiting for a reaction.
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
There was no sign of an angry exhale, twitching hands that would grip the steering wheel with barely suppressed anger, or even a twitch of facial muscles to convey a hatred that Eren could almost understand.
Bitterly, Eren’s eyes turned elsewhere to stare back out into the passenger-side window, watching the scenery of the high school's parking lot as Zeke began to back out of the spot, the car silent with no noise of the cheesy pop songs that Zeke often blasted.
It was probably something to make Eren happier, a contrast to the blaring loud grunge music that played from Eren’s bedroom into the odd hours of the night.
At first, it had been an action to annoy Zeke and push his buttons, to see where the line in the sand was.
Instead, it soon became a genuine hobby, or at least a calming effect it held over Eren. The loud music filled the quiet crevices of Eren’s mind, forcing away the terror of his thoughts that haunted his every breath.
Life shouldn’t be this hard. Eren was fifteen, an age of teenage livelihood and growth of character. Yet, Eren felt like an outsider to the flourishing friends around him, all growing into a version of themselves that their parents could be proud of.
Not Eren, though; what would his parents think if they knew how Eren’s eyes wistfully stared at the back of a blondish-pink-haired head or eyes trailing downward to watch the meticulously cursive writing with every stroke of a confident hand?
They would probably roll in their graves.
Probably.
“Is it my fault?” Words whispered beside Eren, the ambient silence accompanying it within mere seconds, Eren’s eyes widening as he stared at the passing scenery from the passenger window, mouth opening and closing like a helpless fish.
“What?”
“Is it my fault?”
The repeated words prompted Eren to turn his head. His fluffy brown hair framed his widened eyes as he stared at his brother. He noticed that instead of anger or bitterness filling every word or action, only a look of self-hatred washed over Zeke’s face.
“Is what?” Eren breathed out in confusion, “What’s your fault?” Eren repeated his question after an awkward moment, thickened eyebrows furrowing as his head tilted like a lost puppy, “Zeke?”
“You skipping school, getting suspended—”
“I’m suspended?”
Zeke’s eyes flickered toward Eren, an unimpressed eyebrow raising as tired blue eyes stared into green. “You thought you wouldn’t be?”
“Well, no. But I—”
Zeke raised a hand this time to interrupt Eren, eyes flickering back to the road. “Eren,” the utterly defeated tone of Zeke’s voice silenced the brunette once more, “is this my fault? Am I what’s making you so unhappy?”
The car filled with silence, a bitter frown slowly but surely filling the soft youth of Eren’s face. “Not everything is about you!” Eren snapped, the words flying out before rationality took precedence, “ This is why I don’t talk to you,” an angry exhale of air, “You always make everything about you!”
“How is this not about me?!” Zeke desperately cried out, Eren watching as the other man's hands tightened on the wheel, frown lines filling the space of once smoothed skin, “Because—” Eren attempted to respond, ”Stop, just listen to me!” The desperate loudness of Zeke’s plea silenced Eren.
“I get it, sort of,” Zeke whispered after a stretch of silence. “I know what it’s like to lose a parent and what it’s like to try and live without them.” Blue eyes flickered to green before glancing back at the road, a not-so-subtle clearing of the throat to hide the welling emotions.
The road ahead continued to persist, the infrequent viewing of the sun above breaking through the thick trees encapturing on either side of the road, the brisk coloring bathing the duo in flashes before the interior of the car, and the occupants were once again shaded by the leaves surrounding them.
Eren’s gaze turned away, eyebrows attempting to furrow in annoyance at the comparison of Zeke’s situation with his own. While the two had it uncomfortably similar in terms of losses of parents, even being placed in the custody of a family member.
None of that was Eren’s problem, not that he could confidently state what truly pushed and prodded at his mind.
A flash of amber eyes danced through Eren’s mind, tanned cheeks heating in anger, a bitter feeling toward the fellow teenager that was, unknowingly, the cause of all of Eren’s problems.
Even when not here, Kirstein was still his biggest problem.
Tapping on the steering wheel beside him caused Eren’s body to jerk upward, unaware that he had gotten lost within his thoughts for those brief few moments, luckily tuning back in time to hear the rambling self-deprecation of the man beside him.
“Do you not want to live with me?” Zeke finally questioned, insecurity coating every word, “I won't be mad; I don’t even know what I was thinking.” Zeke whispered the words bitterly, a hand reaching upward to push back soft blonde bangs out of his face.
“What right did I have? Trying to parent a fifteen-year-old who didn’t even know about me until I showed up.” Zeke rolled his eyes, “What a fucking brother I am.”
“Stop!” Eren shouted, whirling around finally to stare at the other, Zeke’s eyes widening at the boy’s outburst, “Stop saying that stupid shit about yourself, you loser!” Eren angrily swung a fist at Zeke's shoulder, landing a square hit.
“Dammit—not while I’m driving, Eren!”
“Then stop saying shit like that!”
Another hit to the shoulder.
“Stop, I might crash!”
“Only if you stop saying shit like that!”
Zeke swatted away Eren’s angry hands like a cat, finally using the palm of his hand to push at Eren’s cheek and forcing the fifteen-year-old away to create distance. “Fine! I’ll stop, just get off me!”
Panted breaths filled the car, Zeke only lowering his hand once he was confident that Eren would be firmly sat in his seat, which luckily seemed to be the correct sense of judgment, as Eren sat still, arms thrown into a fold over his chest as he turned his head out to face the passenger seat window.
What a little shit.
Hands tightened on the steering wheel momentarily before relaxing after several deep breaths, shoulders dropping finally as Zeke continued to drive.
Eren’s eyes stubbornly stared ahead out the window, not that there was much to see besides trees and infrequent flowers that they passed in a flash.
“Eren,” Zeke tested the name, “I won’t be mad, just tell me what’s going on,” breathed out like a weak plea, sincerity evident even to Eren, “Please.”
Green eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritting into a grimace of discomfort. This was still a feeling that Eren wasn’t sure if he was ready to confront, especially when speaking on it would only make it feel more real.
Though at this pace, Eren knew continuing to bottle up the information would only worsen the crumbling relationship between Zeke and himself. And oddly, Eren didn’t want that, even while only knowing the blonde for a handful of months.
Maybe Zeke staying up late into the night to efficiently teach Eren on subjects that used to make his brain hurt softened him, or the weekend movie nights of watching a shitty film and devouring popcorn while leaning against one another.
The softened, encouraging smile that accompanied a kind blue gaze tore at the prison walls of Eren’s solitude, tearing the brunette from the darkness of his own mind and placing a comforting presence of consistent encouragement and understanding.
Something that, admittedly, felt like something Eren lost after the passing of his parents.
Zeke had become more than just a stranger over the short few months of living together, and even labeling Zeke as an older half-brother felt wrong. The man had become a protector, practically fatherly in his comfort and strength.
The reminders of Zeke’s thoughtful actions flashed across Eren’s mind, gritting teeth relenting into something softer as eyes peered open, gnawing on the flesh of his bottom lip as he thought over the other’s actions tenfold.
Speaking on what worried away at Eren’s mind would make it real, but at least he wouldn’t be alone to confront the reality.
“Promise you won’t make this weird?”
“I don’t like how that sounds.”
“Too bad, do you promise or not?”
Zeke breathed out as a silent laugh, a smile relaxing the tension of his face before nodding, “Fine, I won’t judge.” The blonde held up a placating hand as a surrender or withdrawal of judgment, quickly returning the hand to the wheel.
Eren’s eyes turned toward Zeke, finding the others' eyes glance toward his direction in silent encouragement, not a trace of judgment to be found on his face. Further encouraging Eren to just spit it out, it’s not like the man was homophobic; Eren would have to be oblivious not to notice the way Zeke went out of his way to speak to Eren’s principal or the janitor.
It was gross and lame.
And yet, coming out still felt so nerve-wracking.
“I’m gay,” Eren snapped out the words before cowardice encouraged him further into a deepening hole of self-consciousness, “and yes, I’m sure!” Eren quickly followed up, knowing a question of his statement would only cause Eren to take back the words and hide back in on himself.
Eren watched Zeke, awaiting some kind of reaction, anything to indicate Zeke had at least heard him.
“Oh, that’s it?”
What.
Zeke seemed to realize the bluntness of his own words as he quickly raised a hand to stop Eren before the brunette could start yelling, “Shit, that slipped out.” Zeke breathed out the words in a rushed fashion, “I didn’t mean it like that, honestly.”
Bitterly, Eren continued to scowl as his eyes threatened to narrow in annoyance. “Then how did you mean it then?” he grumbled childishly, ignoring the way Zeke fought back a smile at the other's pouty expression.
“I don’t know,” Zeke finally admitted. “I guess I expected something bad; I’m glad it’s not.”
Eren's face softened, mulling over Zeke’s words religiously. The casualness in it all relaxed the brunette from his tensed bodily expression, finally leaning back in his seat. “Oh,” Eren murmured in relief, “Okay.”
Neither man spoke, filling the car with silence once more. Though for the first time, in the whole drive, it wasn’t out of awkward tension.
Until Zeke thought to open his mouth.
“So, who is it?” The words were a tease, an elbow reaching out to nudge at Eren’s side, the brunette's face darkening with red as he squealed, “I said don’t make it weird!” Zeke only laughed loudly, nudging Eren harder, “Come on, I won’t judge!”
“Fuck off! I’m not saying shit!”
“Come on, you can tell me!”
“No!”
“I’ll buy you a milkshake on the way back if you tell me.”
Bastard, knowing Eren’s one weakness for sweets, and exploiting it.
How evil.
“The snickerdoodle one?” Eren grumbled under his breath, a pout playing on youthful cheeks as he glared ahead, “Duh.” Zeke snickered out, watching his little brother's face flush deeper before taking a deep breath, then murmuring a muffled name under his breath.
“I can’t hear you.” Zeke teased, Eren’s eyes squeezing shut as his small shoulders curled inward to shield himself in embarrassment, “Kirstein.” The last name was spat out like venom.
The car was filled with stunned silence before being replaced with loud laughter that pained Zeke's stomach from how hard he cackled, then physical pain as Eren threw a punch.
“For fuck’s sake! Again?! Eren?!”
“Stop laughing!”
In the end, Eren got his milkshake, and Zeke got a bruised shoulder.