Archive of Our Own ^beta

Captain wasn't disillusioned to the reality of having a crush on someone like Alan. An educated, charismatic man in his early 20s, who also modelled on the side, proving that he was nothing short of gorgeous. Captain was well aware of the fact that Alan most likely had half of the city fumbling over themselves, desperate for a date.

Despite himself though, Captain had gone and fallen head over heels. Like a damn idiot.

In his defence, it was hard not to, with the way Alan smiled warmly whenever he entered the room. With the way Mother Earth herself had sculpted his cheekbones, defining the very essence of reassuring . With how warm his skin felt pressed against Captain's, in spite of his icy powers.

Captain didn't try to hide his obvious affection. He was sure Alan already knew, so what was the point? But that only made it worse when Alan sent flirtatious winks his way. His heart would swell in hope, and he'd stay awake at night, staring at his ceiling, wondering if the gesture meant anything at all.

A good portion of his free time had resorted to doing that lately. Just staring off into the distance, thinking about Alan and their interactions.

Tonight was no different.

The rooftop had become a space for him to have a moment of recluse. Just to be alone with his thoughts. The night sky helped the knot in his chest unravel, just a touch. A soft breeze washed over him, a chill present from the oncoming winter. Tucking his knees tighter underneath his chin, Captain breathed deeply, taking in the horizon. The blinding lights of the city made the stars faint in comparison. He liked to pretend they were a little bit brighter than they actually were. It made his internal dialogue feel less pathetic.

The rooftop door creaked open, and footsteps trailed out after it. Familiar, confident, and unhurried.

"Ah, figured I'd find you up here," Alan said playfully. He could almost imagine the mirth twinkling in his eyes.

Captain didn't turn around. Not right away. "What's wrong?" He spoke, the wind carrying his words, "Does Taffy need me for something?"

Alan settled on the ground next to Captain, so close that their shoulders were touching, "Nah. I wanted to talk to you."

"...About?"

"Anything," Alan leaned forward, and Captain stubbornly kept his gaze trained to the sky, "Honestly, there's nothing important. Bansy mentioned that you'd left, and I thought you might want some company." He paused, before hesitantly saying, "Unless you want to be alone–"

"No, please stay," Captain blurted before he could stop himself. His cheeks flushed with heat, but he didn’t take the words back. He did want Alan to stay—he just wished he hadn’t said it so awkwardly. It was like all his social skills vanished the moment Alan spoke to him.

For the first time that night, he allowed himself to look at Alan.

Most of Alan’s photo shoots focused on his eyes, but Captain couldn’t help thinking that no camera could ever truly capture them. The gold in his gaze was too vivid, too alive—something that lenses would always miss.

Alan beamed, eyes twinkling, "Alright," he relaxed, tilting his head up to stare at the sky, "It is nice up here. Quiet. I get why you come so often."

Captain nodded wordlessly, still painfully aware of how close the two of them were.

A beat passed before Alan added, almost offhandedly, "Don't you get bored, though? You're always alone."

"Yeah, well. Not a lot of people are lining up to hang out with me on the roof , Alan."

"What's wrong with the roof, Cap?" Alan teased.
Captain made a face, "Nothing's wrong with the roof. I like the roof. Just– most people don't find 'brooding under the city skyline' thrilling."

"Depends who's doing the brooding, I think."

Captain blinked, "What's that supposed to mean?" He glanced over at Alan. God, he's stunning, he thought. Pale blonde hair flowed in the wind, perfectly framing his features.

Alan met his gaze, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. "Nothing," he said, far too innocently. "Just that some people pull it off better than others." He nudged Captain in the ribs mischievously. Captain tried to formulate a response– something witty, or charming, or literally anything– but all he could manage was a weak, pathetic noise. Alan chuckled, "Hey, maybe everyone else is just blind."

Captain's heart was pounding now, insistent and traitorous. Conversations like this fuelled his delusions, the belief that maybe, maybe , there was else something there– "I'm single, you know?"

"...Are you telling me, or reminding yourself?" Alan cocked his head to the side, looking something reminiscent of a confused kitten.

"I- I was trying to make a point ." Captain flushed, looking down.

"Well, you said it like it's a bad thing."

Captain made the mistake of looking at him again, and– that smile was plastered on his face again. That smile . Warm and amused and far too pretty to be legal. “...Isn't it?” he muttered.

“Not to me.”

Captain swallowed harshly. Alan had to know what he was doing now, right? The words hit harder than he expected, ringing louder than the whistling wind. It dialed down to silence, and for the first time in Captain's life, it wasn't one born out of awkwardness. It was the kind of silence that buzzed at the edges. The kind that built a pressure in his chest, like a balloon desperate to explode.

Alan didn’t look away. If anything, he leaned in slightly, just enough so that his body warmth coated Captain's entire being. His thigh brushed against Captain’s—light, casual, probably nothing.

Probably.

“I mean it,” Alan said after a moment, his voice lower now, like the words were meant just for him. “I think that's kinda charming.”

Captain let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a squeak. “You’re messing with me.”

"You really think so? Maybe I should make myself a little clearer, then." Alan leaned in, slow and deliberate, until there was barely a breath of space between them. Captain gasped as the tip of his nose kissed the other's. Alan's voice dropped to a near-whisper. “I like you, Captain.”

Captain froze. Brain empty. No thoughts, only static.

Alan was still looking at him, eyes glowing gold even in the low light. There was no teasing in his expression now—just honesty, gentle and sure. “I’ve been trying to flirt with you for weeks,” he admitted, shrugging slightly. “Thought maybe the winks would tip you off.”

“I—” Captain’s voice cracked. “I thought that was just... your face.”

Alan laughed again, soft and stunned. “God, you’re cute.”

Maybe it was stupid of Captain to do, but he reached up and gently cupped the other's cheek. He let his fingers swipe across Alan's freckles. "...C-Can I?..." he asked hesitantly, swallowing down the lump forming in his throat. Alan just nodded softly, leaning in slightly to Captain's touch, "God," Captain's voice shook as he shifted forwards, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this."

Their lips met, and Captain thought to himself that maybe– just maybe– there were some benefits to having a crush on someone like Alan.