Work Text:
The unfamiliar sounds and feels familiar.
But those were often the moments that led to isolation.
I feel as though you are important to me,
but I can't seem to remember why.
As I come across a thought of familiarity,
I just spiral into confusion and bewilderment as that drifting thought,
that burning memory, begins to deteriorate in quality,
only getting more fluid through entanglements,
repetition
and rupture.
As though it is a daydream being misplaced in time...
The more I sit and think,
the more confusion resides in me,
but at the same time,
I come to a self realisation and awareness that only brings about horror in me.
I lash out in frustration,
and I’m sorry about that.
My mood is just generally lower...
As I realise I am losing a raging battle within me.
The most important thing that makes me me
A silent war that steals the most vital parts of me,
as glimpses of memories of hope
and trying times
are lost in a Libet delay
"Camaraderie is now but an empty bliss beyond this world."
I still feel as though I am me...
but the way ahead feels lonely.
And I know — I know — the day will come when I’ll lose myself entirely,
becoming nothing more than a body with no mind,
as my thoughts grow more disturbed,
broken,
and isolated.
And as I become more distant from reality,
And the ones I love...
or loved.
"My heart breaks, and the thought of it leaves a burning despair that aches."
But soon,
this brutal bliss will hollow out into empty defeat,
as confusion settles in so thick that I forget forgetting.
Forget that I was supposed to feel heartache.
And once that long decline is over,
my place
my mind
will finally fade away.
Until the end of time.