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Dr. Ratio's head throbs as his students are asking him the stupidest questions. He lets out a deep sigh and furrows his eyebrows.
“I told you, it’s hopeless. Just kick them out-”
“Madame Herta, please. They can learn the gas laws eventually.”
“That’s right. They could at least learn the Gay-Lussac Law, considering that half of them are gay.
“Anaxa-”
“It’s Anaxagorous to you.”
“You need to add more brainrot to the curriculum. It worked for Phainon, Mydei, and Castorice. Phainon and Mydei, holy sh*t the amount of times they were caught making ou-” Anaxa says.
“Hey doctor~~~~~” Oh lord, what have I done to deserve this, Dr. Ratio thinks to himself. His students were already giving him a hard time.
“Aventurine, aren’t you supposed to be at work-”
“I was overhearing your conversation and decided to join it… So what’s this Gay-Lussac’s Law thing??”
Ratio sighs. “Gay-Lussac’s Law is the direct relationship between temperature and pressure. It-”
Anaxa jumps in, “Don’t forget about the volume staying constant-”
“I would have said that if you hadn’t interrupted me, I would have said that,” Dr. Ratio retorts. He continues on. “The Gay-Lussac’s Law is a part of a trifecta of laws that makes the Combined Gas Law that relates to pressure, temperature, and volume. The Combined Gas Law is PoTnVo = PnToVn with P standing for pressure, T for temperature, V for volume, o for original, and n for moles/the new value. Don’t forget to convert your temperature to Kelvin when given in Celsius.”
Aventurine dwells on what Ratio says, not processing a thing. “I see… well that’s a pain.” Dam he be yapping, but he kinda hot tho.
Anaxa and Herta are in the background, forgotten. They gaze at each other with the most deadpan stares, cringing at the amount of pure, unadulterated, homosexual tension unfolding in front of them. 😭
“Perhaps you two should take this elsewhe-”
A mechanical voice is heard. “Oh, Herta, you’re here too.” Ruan Mei and Screwllum walk in.
“Meiiiiii~ Ratio and that IPC worker are exhibiting too much PDA~~”
Ratio and Aventurine whip their heads around and yell, “We are not-”
“Shut up. I already have to deal with Phainon and Mydei, and it’s a strain on my poor, singular eye,” Anaxa deadpans.
“...Moving on. Gay-Lussac’s Law is basically PoTn = PnTo.”
Aventurine beams him a smile. “Got it.”
“Boyle’s Law is the inverse relationship between pressure and volume, with the formula being PoVo = PnVn.”
Anaxa quips in. “Yes, just like how Aglaea increases pressure on me grading and pisses me off to the point that my anger boils over and its sheer volume is enough to fill a room. Just like our negative relationship, the pressure and the volume have negative relationships (inverse relationships) with each other. Oh my god, I hate that woman, she’s the devil-”
Ratio sighs. “Yes, yes, you two are gonna kill each other eventually.” He continues. “So we have PoTn = PnTo and PoVo = PnVn , so Aventurine, can you guess the third formula?”
“Uh, I wasn’t listening, doc. What was the question?”
Ratio puts on his bust. “What would the third formula be?”
“TnVo = ToVn, because that’s the only permutation left.”
“Impressive, although I question why you know so much about permutations…”
“Gambling.”
“Oh.”
“TnVo = ToVn is Charles’ Law, which is the relationship between temperature and volume.”
This time, Ruan Mei adds on. “It’s like how a cake expands when baking…”
For the first time, someone actually had a reasonable analogy!!!
“Yes, thank you Miss Ruan Mei for being the only reaso-”
The catcakes hear the name Ruan Mei and hops into the room, screeching, “Madame Ruan Mei! Madame Ruan Mei!” Ratio had forgotten about her habit of creating lifeforms and leaving them to fend for themselves. Maybe he should contact animal services.
He turns to Aventurine, and looks him dead in the eyes. “You know what, since this office is full of imbeciles who can’t shut the f*** up, contact me later about any questions you may have.”
Aventurine glances around. The others are screaming at each other.
Anaxa loses his composure. “Who are you calling an imbecile??”
“How dare you call me, the most beautiful and intelligent, Genius Society #84, Emanator of the Erudition, THE MADAME HERTA, an imbecile.”
“Now, now, Herta, I’m su-”
“Shut up Screwy!”
Maybe it was time to go after all. “You got it doc. I’ll call at 7. In fact, let’s even meetup to discuss the prospects of IPC capitalism, my treat.”
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anaxa was done with everything. After that fiasco in the faculty room, he made his way to his next class. Funnily enough, he had to teach Dalton’s Law and Graham’s Law, simple enough… Until he remembered the people that were in that class.
“Hey, Professor Anaxa!”
He would recognize that voice anywhere.
“You will call me Anaxagoras, and GTFO,” Anaxa says curtly.
“Sheesh, someone’s grumpy.”
Phainon grins. “Come on prof, you can’t just tell your favorite debate champion student to get out.”
Anaxa stares at him. “I can tell anyone I wish to get out, and this is not a debate class, it’s chemistry and I still don’t know how you or Mydei got into this class.”
More students started to walk in, including Mydei, who was awful at stoichiometry, and Castorice, who was somehow friends with Mydei and Phainon and still had brain cells to spare. Once the class got situated, Anaxa started the lesson.
“All right, because some of you lack the capability to remember anything, we’re gonna review Dalton’s Law and Graham’s Law before your finals. So who remembers what Dalton’s Law is?”
Silence. Nobody was raising their hands. Anaxa stifled a few curses, but just before he was going to give them double the homework, Castorice raised her hand.
“Yes, Castorice?”
“Dalton’s Law of Partial Pressure states that the total pressure is the sum of the partial pressures of the given gases. For example, if there was a gas mixture of water vapor and hydrogen gas, then the total pressure would be the pressures of those gases added together.”
Anaxa thanks the world for Castorice. She even gave an example! Her ability to do STEM subjects is the only thing that’s keeping him sane.
“Very good, Castorice. You just saved the class from double the homework. Now, let’s carry on from your example. If you were given the total pressure and temperature, and you wanted to find the pressure of the hydrogen gas, then what would you do?”
Phainon raises his hand. Anaxa gives him a side eye and calls on him.
“You use the table for the water vapor you’ll give us, go to the specific temperature, and subtract the corresponding pressure from the total pressure.”
“Impressive, you were actually right for once. Now, let’s move onto Graham’s Law. Anyone except Castorice or Phainon, what’s the formula for it?”
Silence. The lack of movement is stifling. Anaxa starts to walk over to the computer to assign the homework. Then, Mydei sighs and raises his hand.
“Was it the Rate of Effusion for Gas 1Rate of Effusion for Gas 2 = Molar Mass of Gas 2Molar Mass of Gas 1?”
Anaxa was impressed. Castorice being correct was expected, but Phainon and Mydei? In math? Were they on something?
“Indeed, it’s correct. Now explain their relationship further.”
Castorice raises her hand this time. “It means that the Rates of Effusion for the gases are inversely related to the roots of the molar masses of the gases.”
Anaxa nods in approval. “Good. Now let’s start part 2 of Chapter 14-”
A knock is heard on the door.
“Come in.”
Oh no. It’s that devil of a woman. The anti-Christ of the era. His nemesis incarnate. His-
“Greetings Anaxa.” Aglaea is standing at the door of his classroom.
“Why the hell are you here?”
“I’m here to congratulate you on your grant application. You have more budget now.”
“And the higher ups sent you of all people to tell me this???”
“If you have a problem, we can talk it out in private.”
Anaxa glares at her. He faces his students. “Class is dismissed. Get out. I have to talk to this inhuman monster.”
“Wait, what-”
“Phainon, shut up and all of you just get out.”
Phainon, Castorice, and Mydei stand outside of the door. From there, they could hear the insults, the chairs being flipped over, and the fists.
“Sooo, who do you think is gonna win?” asks Phainon.
Castorice responds in less than a second. “My bet is on Aglaea. The professor has no muscle mass.”
“I agree,” says Mydei.
“Does anyone want to go to the cafe for food? I call being the winner in the paying war.”
“HKS. There is no word for ‘to lose’ in the Kremmnoan language, Deliverer.”
“Oh dear, here we go again…”