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To Buck’s dismay, Eddie had waited a whole week to come out to Buck after returning from Texas with Chris. He even came out to Hen and Karen 3 days ago… BEFORE HIM, which he finds ridiculous, mostly mean, a little outrageous even. He can’t truly be mad thought, it took some time for him to tell Eddie as well.
He doesn’t truly know why both of them, despite their closeness and fondness for truthful interactions, their non-verbal “no lies between us” agreement, found it so hard to come out to the other. But there he was, in the locker room trying desperately to look into Eddie’s avoidant eyes as he speaks.
“Like you know, I did a lot of self-discovery in El Paso. I really tried to hum … look inwards, tried to right my wrongs with Chris and yeah like I said I uh—”
Eddie stammers, his heart beating a bit faster a with every breath he and Buck take.
“Eddie hey are you OK? you look—”
“I’m gay” Eddie blurts out eyes finally landing on Bucks.
“oh”
“OH?” Eddie looks back at him a nervous smile creeping up “What does that mean exactly?”
Eddie’s hands are clammy as Buck lands one on his shoulder, a chuckle escaping him.
“Nothing man. I mean it’s great you know it doesn’t change a thing between us just like you said to me.”
“Yeah ugh, thanks man, really.”
Despite a reassuring smile, Eddie’s stomach drops. Wait why does Eddie’s stomach drop? Shouldn’t he be glad their relationship is secure enough, platonic enough to not make this weird? He cuts off from his inner rambling when Buck almost shouts at him eyes somehow glistening in the artificial lighting of the firehouse:
“OH MY GOD WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO TO A GAY BAR TOGETHER! OH MY GOD!! WE SHOULD INVITE HEN AND KAREN”
And how can Eddie say no to Buck when he looks at him like that?
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Since the Diaz boys’ return to Los Angeles, Buck has been crashing at Maddie’s or Hen’s house in between shifts. He knows Eddie would be fine to have him stay over, even proposing to sleep on the couch and let Buck have what is now HIS bed, but he can’t seem to wrap his head around it. He knows Eddie has a bad back from one of his countless injuries and he knows Eddie wouldn’t let him sleep on the couch either because of HIS countless injuries.
He doesn’t want to entertain the idea of sharing a bed together with his best friend, it makes his stomach feel queazy, unsettled. Buck doesn’t like that feeling. Mostly because Buck doesn’t understand why he feels a weird kind of sick at imagining their limbs slightly brushing against each other on the bed or wishing the other good morning, faces inches away from one another.
And so, for a wee, he’s been hauling his stuff in-between his two best girl’s houses, hoping Eddie hadn’t seen him sneaking in to get a fresh pack of clothes two days ago.
That’s how Buck Buckley ends up on the floor of his coworkers house, looking in front of Karen’s mirror as she puts some concealer under his eyes.
“Buck, stop moving and look up.” She says, exasperation seeping through her calm demeanour.
“OK fine but just because I’ve been sleeping terribly lately and I’d like to look alive so people don’t think I’m Eddie’s undead wingman.”
“Oh so you’re playing wingman tonight?” a slightly judgmental voice comes through the door revealing Hen, head slightly tilted to the left.
“Yeah why, wouldn’t I? I mean he’s my best friend and he deserves to actually get with someone he likes guilt-free you know.” Did you know that there are still at least 1300 conversion therapy camps across all states EXCEPT Vermont and Hawaii? Or that it’s still legal to discriminate against gay couples in this country if it’s for religious purposes, OR that in Texas there is NO law protecting you from discrimination based on sexual orientation OR—”
“I said don’t move.” says Karen with a firm grasp of his chin.
“I’d listen to her,” Hen says in response.
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“Dad those are the same colour”
Christopher Diaz lays across his fathers Buck’s bed as the former takes an assortment of henleys and buttoned downs from a box labeled shirt, no s.
“OK smarty pants, one is clearly more red than the other and they aren’t even the same kinds of shirts, so how about a little less whining and more helping,” Eddie says, failing to sound authoritative.
“I like the pinker one then, the buttoned down, and you’d look better with those boot cut jeans you bought in El Paso,” Chris gives a small nod towards the dark blue number that, evidently, looks amazing on him (and his ass) (but he won’t mention that to Chris) (it’s inappropriate).
“Be good while I’m gone tonight OK? I should be home before you wake up but,” he cups his son’s face “try not to go to bed too late and do your homework!”
Chris rolls his eyes “yeah, yeah Dad. just, go have fun, get your queer on or whatever”
At that, Eddie can’t help but let a small laugh escape his lips. His son has been spending too much time with Buck.
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The car ride to the bar is… OK? Chill, even.
Buck is already tipsy from pregaming, Eddie is not tipsy at all from never going out and therefore not knowing he was supposed to drink BEFORE going to the bar and Karen is simply very excited about having four queens in the car (her words). Hen, on the other hand, is simply drinking in the obvious tension between Buck and Eddie, who are trying their best not to accidentally touch hands as the former gestures widely talking about the history of rice wine.
Just as Buck starts ranking his favourite soju flavours (blueberry is his favourite), the car stops abruptly.
“alright, everybody out,” Says Hen
Bucks chimes in “wait why?”
“Yeah why aren’t you coming with us?” Eddie adds
“I will,” Hen interjects, “just give me two minutes to find somewhere to park while you guys keep our place in line.”
The makeshift trio all get out of the car, some less graciously than most, with Eddie having to hold Buck by the waist and shoulder blade to keep him from falling over. Eddie tries not to think about the younger’s reaction to his touch. Buck tries not to think about the older’s eyes fixated on him as he feels his body tense up.
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Waiting outside the bar, the guys (and Karen) walk toward the line, waiting for Hen to join them. Before they have a chance to join the queue, a male voice calls out to them:
“You know, for a pretty thing like you I wouldn’t mind letting you skip the line.”
The group turns around,
“Oh, sorry man” Buck intercepts “I mean, usually I’d be into this, but I’m really here to help my friend get laid.” He gestures towards Eddie, bumping his shoulders with his,
“To be honest with you, man,” the bouncer walks towards Eddie “I’d like to help him with that too.”
The bouncer wiggles his eyebrows as if he’s joking, but his eyes betray the honesty of his words.
Blush creeps up Eddie neck and settles high on his cheekbones. He stutters a bit before he lets the words out:
“Oh, uh thank you so much haha, you um, you as well.”
The bouncer laughs. Buck, does NOT.
“But I’d like for my friends to come with, no fun being in there alone you know.”
“Well, you wouldn’t be alone for too long, but sure.” He winks at Eddie.
Hen appears behind her wife, holding her by the hips. “What the hell is going on?” She whispers.
“I don’t know but I need to see this play out so don’t say anything,” Answers Karen.
“Your friends can come in as well, if that helps sweeten the deal.”
Buck locks his arm around Eddie. “Oh it DOES.”
Buck’s feeling possessive; he doesn’t know why. I mean, shouldn’t he be glad? He wants to be his best friend’s wingman and here comes a hot guy hitting on him before they even enter the bar. But that’s no fun, there’s no challenge in that. Not that Eddie’s a challenge. If anything, who WOULDN’T want Eddie? He’s, loving, smart, a great dad, muscular, intelligent, hot, muscular, tall enough for most but just the right height for Buck to give him forehead ki—
He shakes his head vehemently decided on forgetting the thought he definitely did NOT just have. It’s the alcohol, he reasons, despite being somewhat of a heavy weight and not feeling all that drunk anymore. Eddie looks at him, his big beautiful eyes on his, a small smile forming, his big muscular—
“Hey man you OK?” Eddie grabs his shoulder “Come on let’s go in, let’s take advantage of my beautiful face,” Eddie laughs, and Buck’s world momentarily stops.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
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The four of them walk into the bar
“There’s a joke in there” Buck says, smug smile not leaving his face
“What joke, smart guy?” Says Hen, taking the bait
“Four gays walk into a bar.” He answers, proud of himself.
“How about four gays walk TOWARD the bar” Says Karen, pushing both Buck and Eddie’s back towards the counter at the far end of the club.
Eddie stops her “We can take your orders for you guys if you want, let us handle it, go have fun!”
“You are an angel on earth Edmundo Diaz” Karen’s face gets serious has she takes Eddie’s face in-between her hands.
“I’ll take a vodka cranberry and my beautiful wife will take the fruitiest mocktail they’ve got!” She yells, an index finger to the ceiling, already leaving the two boys for the dance floor.
----------
“Hey man what was up with you and the bouncer?” Eddie asks Buck.
The taller scoffs, “Pfff I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He can practically hear Eddie’s eyes roll.
“Come on man, what did you sound jealous?” Buck tries to stop him to explain himself but Eddie interjects, “Don’t think I didn’t notice that, come on.” He says with that smug but sweet smile of his.
“I don’t know man, I think I’m just protective of you is all. There’s no more to it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I said it didn’t change anything between us, and I meant it.”
And Buck swears the smile Eddie gives him in return is … bitter? Maybe a little disappointed. He’ll try not to think about that. He needs to wingman his best friend tonight after all. OH! And order Hen and Karen’s drinks!
“Hey!” Says shouts Buck trying to get the bartender’s attention over the loud music. “We’ll take one vodka cranberry and one…” Buck looks around, eyes wrinkling as he reads what the bar offers, “Do you guys do virgin blackberry mojitos? Great! We’ll take one of those too!” He turns to Eddie:
“What are you taking? I’m still a little tipsy so I’d like for you to get on my level.” Says Buck with a cheeky grin. “I mean, if you want, of course, no pressure!”
Eddie doesn’t really know what to take if he’s being honest. At home he only has beer, maybe a few wine bottles when they have company over. But that’s it, really. “What do you usually get?” He asks the younger.
With the music so loud, they’re having a hard time understanding each other, despite their words being more screams than anything. They both lean toward each other at the same time, noses brushing quickly before they both move slightly away, and thank the darkness in the room for hiding the pink of their cheeks.
“Oh I looooove a good long island iced tea!”
“OK then! I’ll take a long island iced tea!”
The bartender comes back a minute later, winking at Buck as he’s handing them their drink. Eddie takes offense. I mean can you believe that guy! They were so close to each other they could’ve been dating THAT guy wouldn’t know. No but the BALLS on that guy.
“Hey Eddie, you OK?” Says Buck.
“Yeah, yeah no problem let’s go!”
Eddie grabs their drinks and decides to ignore that he wants to punch that smug bartender in the face (but he wouldn’t) (that was Eddie 2.0 as Buck calls it) (This is Eddie 3.0 now).
The two boys then make their way to the dance floor, awkwardly navigating with the drinks in hand as they hand them to their friends, who eagerly take them.
----------
Buck is in his element. He may not be the best dancer, but he’s clearly having a blast. Eddie, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to behave, how to move, how to let his BODY move.
He’s a trained dancer for God’s sake, why can’t he let himself move freely?
Eddie Diaz, with all his might, resorts to drinking to help “loosening himself up,” bringing shots or other cutesy cocktails to Buck on one of his many back and forth.
A few drinks in, he can feel his mind de-stress, his anxiety evaporating. But most importantly, his body moving, his body moving very well he might add (can’t a guy be proud of himself).
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Talking Body by Tove Lo is playing, blasting really, and Buck Buckley is on a steady diet to keep himself tipsy and to keep up with his best friend whom, with each drink, looks and moves in a way the younger doesn’t know how to react to.
Every time he dares to look at Eddie, the older is swaying his hips, doing body rolls or, worst of all, grinding on an imaginary stranger. His hands on his pretty face, in his pretty hair, on his pretty manly hips. Buck is very jealous of the imaginary stranger and is too many drinks in to let himself deny it.
Every time Eddie looks in Buck’s direction, the other man averts his gaze, a blush (or drunk flush, who knows) appearing thicker and thicker each time. He can’t help but think of his friend’s words, the same one when he came out to him a year and a half before he did the same. “This doesn’t change a thing between us.” This changes nothing between them, it doesn’t, it. Doesn’t. Why would it? I mean sure Buck is pretty and cute and muscular and brave and a great co-parent and hot and omg Buck is blushing again. Buck is blushing again but his eyes, for the first time since they arrived to him on the dance floor, are actively searching for him. He realizes he’s been so in his head he strayed from his group, and when Buck finds him, there’s something in him that takes over.
Buck’s eyes are wanting, scared, a little hungry.
Eddie’s eyes are nothing short of confident, smug, wanting.
The two men walk toward each other, slowly, calculating. Their bodies moving in almost perfect sync with the music and each other, passing each person barely acknowledging their existence.
It’s cinematic really, both of them barely keeping it together as the build-up to the song, just like their lust, comes to an end.
Their hands finally find each other, wrapping each finger with the other’s. And then, their lips crash into each other. It’s messy and aggressive and everything they have never said to each other, everything they wished they’d said sooner. Eddie lets Buck’s tongue enter his mouth, a rush of warmth building from his chest down to his stomach. He takes the other’s hair in his hands feeling his blonde curls and pulls ever so slightly as Buck lets out a moan in-between kisses. He takes Buck’s face in his hand and breaks the kiss, to the dismay of both of them.
They look into each other’s eyes. For a second, for a minute, for an … hour? Who knows. They’ve both lost track of time. Bucks hand securing themselves on Eddie waist. Eddie hands still firmly framing Buck’s face. He gets on his tippy toes, and kisses the other’s birthmark as a soft smile emerges from both of them. In-sync, always.
And they go back for seconds.