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When Kuroo came home from work, he did not expect a note to be taped onto their house door declaring war.
"Meet me in the backyard for an ass whooping, bring your nerf gun of choice. -Kou"
Kuroo stared at the note for a few seconds before entering the home with newfound determination. If there was notable thing about Kuroo, it's that he's competative to a fault.
Which is why his adorable boyfriend was about get his ass handed to him.
Swiftly, Kuroo undressed from his formal attire, taking off clothes as he made to their bedroom to change. He threw his button-down long sleeve into the hamper as he entered the bedroom doorway, shimmying out his slacks to put on a regular cotton tee and basketball shorts.
Kuroo stepped over the particles of clothing he threw aside in the hallway and headed out to the backyard, opening the sliding door.
Koutarou stood in of the middle of the green yard, a variety of nerf guns layed out before him.
"Welcome home, babe," he greeted cheekily, daring to flash Kuroo a mischevious grin.
"Hello, Loser," Kuroo greeted in response, giving Koutarou a smirk.
"I should have seen that one coming," Koutarou laughed. Kuroo just shrugged. "Okay, so, we each can have two weapons during this war." Koutarou began. Kuroo nodded, eyeing the nerf guns in front of him. "You cannot reload your ammunition. If you run out of ammo before either one of us is shot, you're the automatic loser of this match. Which, you will be anyone, but I'm adding it in on the off-chance I somehow manage to get hit."
Kuroo arched an eyebrow. "What happens if you lose? Which you will," Kuroo added.
Koutarou narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend before explaining. "Loser cooks dinner, winner gets to sit back and relax."
"So, basically if you lose, which you will, you'll do the same thing you do everyday," Kuroo concluded.
"Hey!"
Kuroo grinned. "Sorry, babe. This is war, you can't be nice to anyone, no matter how good looking they are."
Koutarou placed a hand to his heart, feigning betrayal. "I can see where you're coming from, but that stung, Testu."
Kuroo shook his head, stepping towards the nerf guns and picking up two at random. One of them kind of reminded Kuroo of a pistol and the other a machine gun. He stuffed the small one into his short's band behind him. He held the large nerf gun in front of him and turned around the face Koutarou.
Koutarou had two very large and very obnoxious nerf guns of his own. Kuroo wouldn't expect him to pick any other two.
"I suppose there's enough ammunition for a poor shot like you," Kuroo teased, watching his boyfriend sputter at the unexpected insult.
Koutarou scrunched up his nose in thought, thinking of a comeback. Kuroo watched his face openly go through many expressions before Koutarou suggested they start the dang match.
"Cowboy style?" Kuroo asked. Koutarou nodded in agreement.
They stood back to back, weapons crossed in front of them. "You ready to go, partner?" Kuroo asked, trying and failing to add a western twang to his words.
"You bet your hide I'm roarin' to go, greenhorn," Koutarou retorted, turning around to flash Kuroo a cheeky grin again. Kuroo faced forward so his resolve wouldn't crack. That was just Koutarou's strategy: to use his adorableness as an advantage.
"One," Kuroo began, taking a step forward. He heard the the stamp of Koutarou's feet indicating he also took a step.
Together, up until the number ten, Kuroo and Koutarou took ten paces away from their original spot to get a good distance away from one another.
"Start!" Koutarou shouted. As quick as a cat, Kuroo spun on his heel and dove to the ground, firing a few bullets at Koutarou. They didn't hit Koutarou, but a few of the other's bullets came flying towards them and Kuroo only had enough time to roll out of the way.
He scrambled to hit feet, diving behind a bush so he wasn't such an easy target. Sitting, his mind stilled for a moment, before a loud war cry interrupted his thoughts. All at once, adrenaline and pure ectasy of the moment filled him and he leaped from his spot behind the bush.
Kuroo brought the nerf gun to his shoulder and shot a few bullets at Koutarou. The man in question was failing to regain proper footing after his failed "sneak attack." If you could call using all your lung capacity to scream a sneak attack.
Kuroo kept walking backgrounds, to keep the disorientated Koutarou and him a good distance away, just in case this was an act.
And, then, Kuroo saw the green leaves above him.
He tripped over a branch from the tree.
"Got you!" Koutarou screamed, charging towards Kuroo.
"Kou, wait-!" Kuroo shouted a warning. It was like everything that came next happened in slow motion.
Koutarou awkwardly stepped on the branch, and the wicked grin on his face slipped off as he realized he was falling. The nerf gun in his hand slipped and landed straight onto Kuroo's crotch, digging it.
Black dots filled the corners of Kuroo's vision. His eyes watered with hot tears and he rolled over onto his side, protectively clutching at his crotch.
"Oh my God," he could Koutarou repeat like a broken record.
"Kou, holy shit," he gasped, his body now in the fatal position.
What started with a small giggle bloomed into audible laughter.
Koutarou was laughing.
"You fucking asshole!" Kuroo groaned. He took deep breaths to ease the pain, but it fucking hurt. Forget all other pain, having a nerf gun practically stabbed into your crotch was worse.
"Sorry, Testurou," Koutarou managed between giggles.
"Help me inside."
Somehow, they found themselves inside and Kuroo with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch.
"Remind me to throw those out after you're done," Koutarou commented. Kuroo didn't say anything. Koutarou bit his lip anxiously. "I'm really sorry."
Kuroo looked at Koutarou. "Really, really, sorry," he repeated. Kuroo sighed, shifting uncomfortable in his seat.
"I know, Kou, it's fine," Kuroo assured him. "I mean, if I ever wanted to jizz again, that may be a problem, but it's cool."
Koutarou's eyes widened. "You think that's possible?" Hurriedly, Koutarou whipped out his phone, holding his thumb down on the home button to unlock it.
"Dude, I'm pretty sure that's not possible," Kuroo told him.
"You sure?" Koutarou double checked. Kuroo nodded in affirmation. Koutarou let out a deep sigh of relief.
"Kou," Kuroo called, catching his boyfriend's attention. Koutarou looked up, big eyes peering at him. "Come here." Koutarou stood up and shuffled over to where Kuroo sat, standing in front of him.
Kuroo reached his hand up and wrapped it up and around Koutarou's neck, nudging him down. They kissed only briefly, but it was still filled with all the love of each and every deep and passionate kiss they shared.
"I love you," Kuroo said when they pulled apart. Koutarou opened his mouth to reply, but Kuroo continued. "But, I am never having a nerf war with you ever again."
Koutaro laughed at that. "Fair enough," he replied, leaning back down to give him another kiss.
At least one good thing came out of today, Kuroo thought, a smile finding it's way to his lips.