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In the darkness of Andrias' mind, piercing eyes glared at him. He tried not to look scared. He stood up straight and squared his shoulders, but he couldn't stop the way his heart raced, his breathing quickened, or how his hands shook. He clasped them behind his back.
The Core's voices rumbled in his mind.
"Are you questioning us?"
Andrias' tail swayed. "No! I'd never question you, my lord... I'm simply pointing out the... relevant information... Are you sure you want Marcy to be your host?" He smiled, strained.
"Are you trying to save her, Andrias?" It asked lowly.
"No, no," the king quickly replied. "It's just, she's a frail, small, clumsy, clumsy kid," he stressed the second clumsy desperately. "You could pick any other amphibian in all of the world, or one of the other two prophesied ones," he offered pleadingly.
The core laughed quietly, which was an eerie sound. "Andrias, we've thought about it. Her mind, her intelligence, far outweighs the cons of her weakness. Our robots will be our shield and weapons, anyways."
"... She's extraordinarily clumsy, my lord. I truly, truly believe you ought to pick someone else as your host."
The core groaned to themselves. "She is clumsy because she is oblivious. If she watched where she was going, she wouldn't fall. WE will watch where we walk. WE won't be clumsy. Does that make since to you?" They finished condescendingly.
Andrias stifled a sigh. Well... that made since. He still worried, but decided the Core surely knew best. "Of course, my lord." He had a bad feeling about this.
. . .
The Core stretched their newfound limbs. It had been about an hour since they were given Marcy's body. They walked down the halls with Andrias by their side. They droned on about their plans, and the king listened raptly.
"-The frobotic factories need to be checked and repaired. Most of them ought to be operable still, but not to their full potential-"
With their important rambling and planning, they stumbled over their own feet and fall down with a surprised 'oof!' They caught themselves on their hands and gasped, panting as they stared at the floor that was suddenly a bit too close to their face.
Andrias gasped too and turned to look down at them. "My lord! What happened, are you okay?" He looked up and down the floor like he was looking for a crack or something they tripped over.
The Core flustered. Briefly, Andrias' warning crossed their mind, but they dismissed it and didn't believe it. They pushed themself back up to two feet and dusted themself off. "We're fine. We're not used to having a body. It has been a thousand years," they reminded Andrias firmly.
Because that was the undisputed, logical truth.
. . .
While walking down the stairs to the basement, they stripped and stumbled forward with a yelp. Andrias grabbed them by their cape and saved them.
They only glared at him in thanks as they dusted themself off from his filthy germs. "It's dark in here," she muttered. "Install some proper lighting."
. . .
The two were eating lunch in the throne room. Servants had served them a serving of bug burgers, specifically with tomatoes. Darcy liked the taste of the dangerous fruit, something she inherited from Marcy- one of the few things, she didn't inherent anything else. They eagerly ate it.
To refill the host's body as efficiently as possible! They thought to themselves, pleased. Nom nom nom.
They suddenly froze, a strange pain in their throat. They gagged and tried to gasp for air but realized that they couldn't breathe.
They put their hands to their neck like to try to dislodge the cruel, malevolent bug burger. They were unable to call for help. Panic surged through them and the fear of such a random, absurd death strangled them. To live for a thousand years then die to a Bug burger! It was good, but not worth dying for!
Then they realized that if the host died, they'd be fine, and calmed down a little, but then freaked out because they didn't want their host to die anyways.
They stood up rushed to Andrias to inform him of the situation with angry hand gestures. But halfway there, they tripped over the carpet and fell face first flat on the floor. All of the air was forced out of the lungs and apparently the food too.
They gasped and heaved for air as they layed on the carpet.
Andrias turned when he heard the fall and quickly asked, "What happened?"
Darcy looked up at him tiredly and could hardly find the energy to be mad at him. It was still there, obviously, but she was too busy being glad about not dying to take hold of it. Also, they were embarrassed they almost died then just performed an accident Heimlich maneuver on themself with the floor.
So she just sighed. "Nothing. Nothing at all..."
They made a note to be more careful.
. . .
While heading to the basement, the smell of smoke filled the air. It was no surprise at all. It was a tight corridor with fire for lighting. "This chamber needs better ventilation," they noted out loud to Andrias who was behind them.
"N-No, sire, you're cape is on fire," Andrias said loudly.
The core paused. They turned their head and lifted their cape a bit. It was indeed on fire. "What!?" They screeched. The fire quickly grew bigger, eating away at their cape and threatening to eat them too. They ripped the cape off and threw it on the steps, frantically stomping it out.
"What the hell!" They shouted angrily. "Install some electrical lighting down here, got it!? Having open flames down here is a horrible idea! How many people have caught on fire down here!?" They demanded.
The king shuffled his feet and coughed.
"Well?" The core demanded, fully expecting for the number to be in the dozens. They were ready to chide the king for his poor management skills.
"One," he muttered.
"W-What?"
"Only one other has caught on fire in these halls," he confirmed with a solemn nod.
"Well!..." The core trailed off, then chuckled, strained. "Right! No one comes down here. It's forbidden. Just me and you! Was it you?" They laughed prematurely.
"It was Marcy."
Darcy turned around and continued down the stairwell silently.
. . .
Darcy and Andrias sipped tea in the dining hall. Darcy closed their eyes as they examined the taste. The cup suddenly slipped from their hands and they yelped and jolted backwards, nearly falling out of the chair. Tea splashed onto their legs. Thankfully, it wasn't too hot.
They stifled a grimace and reached for the napkins. They slowly cleaned themself up.
They hissed when they looked up to see the king staring at them skeptically. "What is it!?" they barked.
He quickly looked away. "Nothing, my lord. Do you need more napkins?"
"No, no..." They grumbled. "I burnt my tongue, it was a pain reflex," they outright lied. They had no explanation to how they dropped that cup, and it was stressing them out. It was like physics had briefly changed solely to torment them, but that idea was insane.
Oh! They had an excellent theory. Marcy had been cursed! There were only a few curse wielders in modern times, but it was a good theory, they decided.
It brought them comfort.
. . .
OK, Ok, they hissed in their own mind. Maybe, maybe, this body was prone to accidents.
They paced around the empty throne room in a circle, staring down at their feet, hands behind their back.
Statistically, it was very unlikely Marcy was cursed. Andrias said she was like this the moment she entered Amphibia. And according to Marcy's memories, she had always been clumsy. One of her earliest memories is falling off of the couch while playing the Nintendo.
The core didn't want to admit to it, but it was the only explanation that worked.
They had inherited her clumsiness. Her oblivious nature. How else could they not notice their own clothes on fire, or trip over their own feet so often? They begrudgingly accepted most of their falls were caused by them not paying attention. They got easily lost in their many, many thoughts.
But they swore! It wasn't always their fault! Sometimes it wasn't well lit enough! Sometimes the floor was wet, or the open flames wern't safe enough. There needed to be more safety measures in this castle! Proper lighting, warning signs, dry floors-
Darcy yelped and tripped over her own extension cord.
She layed there in defeat.
...
A minute later, the doors creaked open and Andrias poked his head in. "Uh, my lord-"
"SHUT UP!" They screamed.
He left.
. . .
The Core and Andrias (sometimes they failed to see him as a king) were walking around the castle aimlessly. Darcy gazed around, noting how things had changed, like a few windows had been replaced. Suddenly, the king stopped them was a palm.
They glared up at him coldly. "What is it?" They hissed. How dare he stop them?
He moved his palm and pointed to a pool of water and a warning sign on top of it reading 'watch your step'.
They huffed. "Do you think I didn't see that?" They muttered. They had not.
"Just be careful," Andrias smiled warily.
Darcy rolled her eyes. She marched around the shiny spot on the floor. She continued to go forward as she peered at Andrias from over her shoulder. "Seriously. Stop babying me, or else I'll-"
They screamed as they slipped, flailed midair, and landed on their back.
They stared at the far away ceiling and panted.
Andrias came into their vision. "I'm sorry my lord," he smiled, "You're right. I was being overly worried."
All of the core's eyes focused on him like a target to be obliterated. They muttered quietly, "If you speak with that tone again, I will kill you."
The king left the room to give Darcy some space.
The core stared at the ceiling.
They screeched in fury.
Walking down the hall, Darcy failed to notice the janitor mopping the floor, or the trashcans nearby. They were absorbed into their own world, quietly walking by Andrias' side.
They gasped as they slipped. They were like someone trying to learn how to rollerskate, and failing miserably. They yelped when they got to dry land. The change in friction and their own miscalculations sent them stumbling.
They were graciously stopped by the trashcan, which kindly spilt some of its innards on her.
The core was disgusted and furious, but they carefully kept it underwrap, even if their heart rate and breathing was racing.
"Ma'am!" The janitor gasped. "Are you alright?"
"My lord!" Andrias yelped. "Are you okay?"
Darcy brushed themself off and slowly turned around. They glared at the two newts and spoke evenly. "I am fine. This was caused by the lack of signage. Don't let it happen again, or else you'll be thrown out of the window, got it?" They hissed at the janitor, who nodded frantically and darted off.
. . .
The two sped walked down the halls. Or, Darcy did, and Andrias just followed at a normal pace.
She was excitedly rambling on about what worlds to conquer next. "I've had my eyes on a planet for a while now. The inhabitants are hardly past the bronze age and the planet is huge!--"
They had closed their eyes while walking, a fatal mistake. Before they could register Andrias' "Wait, Darcy!" They stepped on something and slipped.
They yelped, eyes wide open to see a yellow fruit peel fly into the air. A bugana!? They watched the world is slow motion as the fruit flew in an arch. They managed to stumble upright. The bugana hit them in the face. Blinded and dizy, they stumbled and tripped.
Andrias watched in shock as the core tripped on a bugana peel and fell down the nearest flight of stairs. Their 'oof's and 'ow's and loud ancient swears getting quieter and quieter.
He hesitantly peeked down the staircase to see his lord laying at the bottom in a less than regal position. Were humans meant to bend that way?... He called out tentatively, "Are you okay, my lord?"
There was a long pause.
... Did they die?
Their furious screech proved otherwise. "EXECUTE THE JANITOR, FIND THE ARCHITECT WHO BUILT A STAIRCASE HERE AND KILL HIM TOO!" They were rambling incoherently.
"But my lord! This castle was built thousands of years ago!" Andrias pointed out fearfully.
"NECROMANCY!" The Core shouted angrily.
. . .
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Deep within the library, a paranoid hivemind was rummaging through the darkest, eldest of books. Forgotten history, witchcraft, ancient runes, dead languages...
They carefully extracted a yellow book with the dusty shelves and examined it. To their surprise, the book titled 'How not to fall, stumble, or face-plant accidentally, for dummies' wasn't dusty at all compared to its neighbors.
They flipped open the book to read the inside cover. The last person to check this out was two months ago and was named Marcy Wu.
Darcy almost put the book back.
Not out of embarrassment, definitely, but because they could just skim through Marcy's memories instead.
To their dismay, Marcy didn't remember almost any of the book, so they had to take it anyways to reread it.
. . .
They were reading while walking. The book firmly suggested not doing this on page 2, but Darcy was a busy person. persons. people. She had better things to do.
"What are you reading?" Andrias asked curiously, bending down a bit to try to get a better look.
Darcy turned the book away from him so he couldn't see. "Nonya," they muttered while still reading it. They really felt like they were getting somewhere! They were engrossed.
When they coincidentally tripped over some carpeting, the king asked, "Are you okay?"
He sounded unfazed and that hurt the core on a very deep level.
. . .
Another book that apparently only Marcy had checked out within the last century: "How not to spontaneously combust, for dummies". (The guy before her was some poor newt named Fireweed Swimson.)
The core lounged in their throne, turning the pages, nodding solemnly as they read.
Andrias was crouched awkwardly next to the throne so he could sit by the lord. After a long minute, he asked, "What are you reading, my lord?"
"Shut up."
"Of course."
They focused on the book, letting every drop of wisdom ferment in their mind. They were already redesigning aspects of the castle and their wardrobe. The familiar smell of smoke was almost a calming normality. They turned the page.
"Ah- um, My lord?" Andrias' voice sounded strain.
Darcy heaved a sigh. "What is it, Andrias?" They shot him a disdained glare.
"Your cape is on fire." He stared down at said cape.
Darcy glanced downwards.
They screeched and jolted back. They slammed the book down on it, smothering it frantically. She panted, her heart racing. Then she nearly wept. How, even!?
A voice in the multitude chimed, "That explains the burn marks on the book."
Another murmured, "It's a good thing we didn't run around in circles."
"It's hard NOT to run in circles in panic when you're on fire!"
"But it would've just fanned the flame. That book has some good advice!"
Darcy groaned. This was absurd and unfair. How in frog's name did they even catch on fire.
Andrias was looking at them warily, like he whole-heartedly believed they would burst into flames again. Darcy hissed at him, "It's just hot in here! Open the windows!"
"But... my lord... the windows are broken-"
"LEAVE."
Andrias rushed to leave.
. . .
Darcy paced around the generator room boredom. The smell of smoke filled her nose and she efficiently spun around, ripped her cape off, flung it to the floor and stomped it out in a smooth, practiced movement. Andrias looked mildly impressed. The Core felt quite satisfied.
Still, they questioned how it caught on fire. It was cold in this room without a single source of heat! Truly, this was a mystery far beyond this meaning of life or how the universe was formed. If they could solve this, everything else would fall into place.
. . .
Darcy looked upon Amphibia from one of the many balconies. She enjoyed the wind blowing past her. It felt like praise, the reward of their accomplishment.
Andrias stood by their side and a bit behind. He listened to them intently as they rambled on, "The last time I saw it, that river didn't cut through that forest... I once visited that city on a quest to find curse wielders... Do you see that plain, north of it?" Andrias nodded along to everything Darcy was saying.
She continued, "We should construct a power grid there. I want to try building a giant lightning rod and storing energy in massive batteries bellow. Oh! And south to there is the Great valley," They leaned over the railing to see it better.
Andrias stopped himself from reaching out and pulling them back. Grabbing the Core would probably get him thrown off the castle for disrespect, but he still warned them, "Be careful not to fall..."
"Shut up- now, there's already mineshafts in the Great valley but we can expand upon them. Oh! And we can terraform the great moor east of that too!" They rambled enthusiastically like Marcy about her video games. Leaning further and further, pointing and grinning, Andrias was sure his heart was about to stop- it was already screaming in terror. So was his brain. He tried to figure out what to do if Darcy fell.
He stood there calmly.
Darcy leaned further and further, going as far as to stand on one leg and leaning their entire torso overboard. Andrias wasn't sure if they were doing it to try to kill him or not. It reminded him painfully of Marcy, being so oblivious.
"And right there, Andrias, we can oh OH GOD NO NO-" The core wailed as it toppled over the railing. They waved their arms frantically and tried to grab onto the railing in the brief second they were still visible.
Then they plummeted out of sight. Andrias listened as the wire rapidly dragged over the railing, it sounded kind of like a zipline. He wondered how long that wire was.
Darcy's scream sounded more furious than terrified. It rapidly got quieter and quieter. "JOOOOOOooooe sparrrooowww....."
. . .
"Why the hell didn't you stop me!?" The Core berated Andrias.
"I tried to warn you!" He tried not to shout back, feeling like he was in an argument with his dad. Which technically he kind of was.
"This is why I look down on you so much! You listen to orders like a dog! OBVIOUSLY if you know something I don't, do what's for the best!"
"You would've killed me!" Andrias yelped.
"That's better than me dying!" Darcy waved her hands angrily, but on such a small host, it looked less threatening and more silly. She tsked and huffed, truly disappointed. "Look, Andrias. No one saw and no one has to know. If you speak a word of this, you will be pushed off the balcony and Joe Sparrow the second can't hold your weight. Not that he'd respond to your calls."
Andrias sighed. "You don't have to threaten me so much, I get it."
"Good. Now, I'll be going to my room. To... Sleep. Yes." Darcy spun around and march off.
. . .
The moment the door closed behind them they collapsed onto their canopy bed and cried in embarrassment and frustration. WHY. WHY!? Why in frog's name was this host so clumsy!? It was like the universe itself hated them. It was like there was some god in charge of this dimension that liked to see them suffer, someone who specifically spited them.
This was the only sane explanation. They slammed their fist down on the mattress in rage. It was unlucky! It was unfair! It was illogical!
They heard a creaking sound from the bed as they shuffled around. They shoved their face in a pillow to scream, bellowing obscenities and damning the universe and any name she could drag out from her centuries of memories.
The ceiling of the bed collapsed and buried them in thin wood and fabric.
It didn't hurt through the armor, but it was the nail that broke the coffin.
Buried in rubble, not bothering to move an inch, Darcy sobbed herself to sleep.