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Jiseok wasn’t sure where he and Jungsu stood.
That night, they had fallen asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms, but when Jiseok woke up the next morning, Jungsu had already left for his shift at the campus cafe. He had left him with a text telling him he could eat whatever he had in the fridge and to remember to lock the door behind him when he left, but nothing more.
And so, Jiseok went about his day as if nothing had changed, except with way more daydreaming about Jungsu than usual—which was already a lot, if he was being honest with himself. He had hoped Jungsu would text him by the end of the day, even just send him an instagram reel, but nothing ever came. He could be the one to text first, sure, but he wasn’t even really sure how to approach the situation. Jungsu had more experience than him (even if it was just by one relationship, some guy he had dated for a couple of months during their first year), so Jiseok figured he should take the lead.
Yeah, that made sense.
—☆—
“Why are you moping?” Hyeongjun asked, stepping into their shared room three days later to find Jiseok face down on his bed.
“I’m not moping,” he mumbled, voice muffled by the pillow pressed up against his face.
He still hadn't heard from Jungsu at all. Earlier that day, he had passed by him and Seungmin while he was running to class, nearly barrelling into the two of them in his haste. He had thought that surely that interaction would make Jungsu remember he existed, but alas, there was still no sign of life from him.
So he decided that lying in bed, face pressed into his pillow, was the best solution.
Hyeongjun hummed in response, clearly not believing him, and Jiseok just listened as he put down his bag and guitar case, beginning to get ready for the evening.
“You’ve been weird for a couple days, dude,” Hyeongjun then said. “Like, weirder than usual.”
Jiseok couldn't even be annoyed at the jab with all the thoughts floating through his mind. Half of him wanted to tell Hyeongjun what had happened, either to hear his advice or just simply get it off his chest, but the other half didn't want anyone to know, wanting to take this to his grave if it turned out that Jungsu just wanted to forget about it. And anyway, what would he even say? ‘Yeah, Jungsu and I kissed and now he won’t text me ’?
Maybe he could pretend it had nothing to do with him. Maybe someone from his class, or–
“Did you get into a fight with Jungsu?” Hyeongjun continued, his tone as casual as ever.
Damn him.
“Not a fight,” Jiseok muttered into the pillow.
“Then what?”
Groaning, he finally turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Quiet for a moment, he thought about the best way to tell his roommate about the situation without revealing too much.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay, too,” Hyeongjun reassured him, interpreting his silence as hesitation.
Jiseok turned his head to look at the other boy and sighed. Hyeongjun was always a comforting, reliable presence in his life, and if he had to talk about this to anyone, he knew Hyeongjun was the best option.
Slowly, he sat up on his bed, facing his roommate who was ready to give him his full attention.
“Jungsu and I… kissed.”
If anyone had been looking at Hyeongjun at that moment, they would have assumed that Jiseok had told him about something only mildly interesting, like a bird he had seen on his way to class. With only his eyebrows raising ever so slightly, Hyeongjun’s expression had stayed exactly the same.
Jiseok, however, needed more of a reaction.
“Come on, Hyeongjun,” Jiseok whined, kicking his feet a little. “Aren’t you going to say something? Anything?”
“I’m waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong.” Hyeongjun shrugged, shuffling a little to make himself comfortable where he was leaning against his own bed opposite Jiseok’s.
“Doesn’t this surprise you at all?!”
“Not really… It was bound to happen at some point. Well,” Hyeongjun hummed, looking up at the ceiling in faux contemplation for a second, “I guess I thought it would take you way longer to get your shit together. But all in all, not that surprising.”
Huffing, Jiseok muttered, “I should’ve told Jooyeon first.”
“Yeah, but clearly something else is wrong, and Jooyeon wouldn’t have been able to help you with that.”
Jiseok hated how Hyeongjun was always right.
“Yeah,” he continued with a sigh, looking down at his bedsheets and his sock-covered feet, wiggling his toes a little. “We kissed, but I haven’t heard from him since then.”
“Oh… Well, have you tried to talk to him?”
Jiseok shook his head, his cheeks turning pink, knowing fully well what Hyeongjun was going to say next.
“Maybe you should do that, then.”
“But what should I say?” Jiseok was bordering on whining again when he looked up at Hyeongjun with a pleading expression. “The next day, he just kinda acted like nothing had happened.”
Frowning now, Hyeongjun tilted his head to the side. “How so?”
“Well, I slept over at his place, and the next morning he left for work before I woke up. He texted me, saying something about breakfast and to lock his door, but nothing else.”
“And what did you say?”
Jiseok’s face was really red now. “I just sent him a sticker.”
Sighing, Hyeongjun pinched the bridge of his nose. “I feel like I don’t even have to tell you that you’re being stupid right now.”
“I know!” Jiseok groaned, bringing his hands up to his face. “Please be nice to me for once… Not all of us can be as cool and casual as you!”
Chuckling, Hyeongjun moved towards Jiseok’s bed to pat him on the back. “Come on, all you have to do is text him. I’m sure he’s feeling the exact same way, you know.”
“I can’t text him. He scares me.”
Hyeongjun was fully laughing at him now. Well, Jiseok supposes he deserved that.
jiseok
hey jungsu
whats up
how are you?
hiiii jungsu
Jiseok physically cringed at the last one, frantically hitting the backspace button.
In the end, Hyeongjun had only been mildly helpful, not even helping him draft a text to send Jungsu, telling him that it was something he had to figure out for himself and that it really wasn't that hard. What even was the point of having a friend, then, if he was going to leave Jiseok to fend for himself during his lowest moments?
Staring at his bright phone held above him, a stark contrast against the darkness of his room, Jiseok just sighed. The last message he sent Jungsu, a sticker of a cute cartoon cat doing a thumbs up, and the [read] marker underneath it were mocking him. It was his own fault that he was in this predicament, really.
hey jungsu
are you free tomorrow?
why is this so fucking difficult
jungsu
stop typing and just say what you have to say
Jiseok nearly dropped his phone flat on his face.
jiseok
creep
are you busy tomorrow?
jungsu
working 1 to 7
i’m free before or after that though
jiseok
can I come see you after?
jungsu
of course
In the morning, Hyeongjun told Jiseok that see, he had worked himself up over nothing, not realising that the true anxiety was beginning to settle into Jiseok’s bones now, after their brief text exchange. If he didn’t know how to approach the subject with Jungsu via text, how the hell was he supposed to do it face to face?
At a quarter to seven, Jiseok pulled open the heavy door to the small campus cafe, scanning the area for a place to sit away from prying eyes and curious ears. He didn’t need an audience for what he was sure was about to be the most awkward encounter of his life.
Fate, however, was always looking for a good laugh, so the only table available was the one closest to the counter. If Jiseok sat there, he would have a direct view of Jungsu, and he was scared that all he would be able to do is stare, not giving himself any time to replay their potential conversation a billion times over in his head before the actual thing.
But he didn’t really have any other option, so, with a sigh, he made his way to the table. He dropped his bag onto the surface and propped his head up on it, holding his phone in front of him so he had something else to direct his attention towards instead of the boy a mere ten feet away from him.
Oh, who was he kidding.
Peering over the top of his phone, he looked over to the counter that had a steady stream of students lining up in front of it. The cashier was some girl that looked vaguely familiar, and through the crowd of customers he could only just see the top of Jungsu’s head, covered in a light blue cap, bobbing around behind the pastry display as he went back and forth between the drink machines. With a sigh, he redirected his attention to his phone, knowing that Jungsu would likely not see him until he could step away from the counter.
Before he knew it, the fifteen minutes had flown by, and Jungsu was standing in front of him, sporting two drinks and a tentative smile.
“Hey, are you ready?” he asked, tilting his head towards the door.
“Oh, you don’t want to sit here?” Jiseok asked, but stood up regardless, swinging his bag onto one shoulder.
“No,” Jungsu huffed and handed him one of the drinks. “I want to get out of here.”
Nodding, Jiseok followed him out of the cafe, and the two of them fell into step next to each other.
“I need to change out of these clothes,” Jungsu muttered, turning to Jiseok. “Will you come back with me to my room?”
“Yeah, sure.”
The short walk to Jungsu’s building felt like an eternity. Jiseok asked him how his shift went and Jungsu replied easily, but the underlying awkwardness was palpable. Their friendship was well past the need to make small talk, and yet here they were, acting as though this was their first time meeting.
When they got to Jungsu’s apartment, Jiseok lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching Jungsu hang up his tote bag on a hook by the door before rummaging through a closet by the bathroom.
“I’ll be right back.”
The bathroom door closed with a soft click behind him, and Jiseok sighed, willing himself to be less nervous. It’s just Jungsu, you idiot.
But he was never just Jungsu, so that didn’t really help him.
Jungsu had always stood out to Jiseok amongst their friends. At first, he didn’t quite understand why, chalking it up to the two of them having similar interests. But as time went on, the fondness he felt for him became undeniable, and the feelings quickly developed into something much more. It was painfully obvious to all of his friends that Jiseok saw Jungsu differently, but was it obvious to Jungsu, too?
With a sigh, Jiseok sank into the couch, staring at the condensation running down the side of his iced tea he had placed down on the small coffee table in front of him. His fingers were curling into the fabric of his baggy pants, restless, tugging at the material as he waited.
Hearing the lock of the bathroom door click, Jiseok’s attention snapped in that direction. He watched Jungsu step out, face washed and slightly rosy, comfortable clothes taking the place of his work uniform. The cap he had been wearing was discarded as well, leaving his hair messy on top of his head, his ears twitching slightly. Jiseok didn’t really know cats that well, but it was clear that he was nervous, too, which, in a way, reassured Jiseok. Maybe they were both on the same boat.
Quietly, Jungsu sat down beside him on the couch, and a moment passed before either of them spoke.
And then, naturally, they spoke at the same time.
“Jungsu, I—”
“Do you—”
Jungsu laughed a little. “Go ahead.”
“Okay.” Jiseok nodded, flattening his hands over his knees. “I just— I just wanted to ask if…”
When he trailed off without finishing his sentence, Jungsu frowned.
“If what?”
“If… If I could stay for dinner?!” Jiseok plastered on an exaggerated fake smile, finally meeting Jungsu’s gaze. “I don't have anything at my place, and I don't want to spend more money!”
Standing up, Jiseok tried to make a break for the kitchen, but Jungsu’s hand shot out to grab him by the wrist.
“Jiseok, stop.”
Behind him, Jungsu stood up as well, tugging on his wrist gently to coax him to turn around, which he did slowly, his expression having changed to something much more nervous, more genuine, matching Jungsu’s.
“You can stay for dinner, yeah,” Jungsu said lightheartedly. “But there’s something I want to tell you.”
Jiseok just nodded, his heart pounding in his chest as Jungsu took a deep breath.
“I really like you, Jiseok.” His hold on his wrist tightened a little.
Jiseok’s eyes widened.
“I'm sorry I kis–”
Even though this shouldn’t have come as a shock, Jiseok exclaimed, “You do?!”
Surprised by his reaction, Jungsu laughed, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth.
“Of course I do! What makes you think I wouldn't?”
“I don't know,” Jiseok mumbled, feeling a little sheepish. He looked down at the floor before continuing, “I really like you, too.”
At his words, Jungsu let go of Jiseok’s wrist, but before he could react, he took his hand instead, holding it gently. Jiseok lifted his head to look at him again, Jungsu’s fond expression nearly taking him aback. Suddenly, he felt like he had to fill the silence, the nerves taking over him once again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything or text you in these past few days,” he said. “But I— I just didn’t know what to say. I was kinda hoping you’d say something first, to be honest.”
Jungsu kept laughing, incredibly fond, the sound making Jiseok’s heart flutter. Between the adoring look on his face and the way he was gently running his thumb over the back of Jiseok’s hand, Jungsu had him completely enthralled.
He didn’t notice him stepping closer until they were chest to chest and Jiseok had to tilt his head up to meet his eyes. Before he could say anything, however, Jungsu’s other hand was on the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
Gentler this time, their lips moved against each other’s slowly, maybe in the way they should have the first time. But it didn’t matter to Jiseok, because Jungsu was kissing him like they had all the time in the world to be together—unhurried and languid.
He brought a hand up to Jungsu’s slim waist, holding him tight as if he feared this would all disappear if he let go. The warmth of his body under the fabric was calling to him, urging him to pull Jungsu closer. Clumsily, Jungsu stumbled under Jiseok’s grasp, their lips parting in a shared giggle.
After dinner, the two of them curled up on Jungsu’s couch, watching whatever they found interesting on Jungsu’s youtube recommendations. Jungsu was practically draped over Jiseok, with his head on his chest and his arm around his waist, as if he wasn’t practically double his size. Not that Jiseok minded, of course. He would gladly let Jungsu crush him if it meant having him close.
Absentmindedly, Jiseok brought a hand up to Jungsu’s head, playing with his blonde hair as he listened to the two men on the screen describe some type of supposed alien invasion from the 1950s. However, somewhere in the middle of their dramatic retelling of the event, Jiseok noticed another noise filling the air.
He frowned a little as he tried to figure out where the sound was coming from, tilting his head and looking around the room, before realising that it was coming from his chest.
Or, more specifically, from the boy laying on his chest.
The low noise rumbled in Jungsu’s throat, perfectly timed with the way Jiseok was moving his hand over his hair.
Jiseok halted his movements. The noise turned into a whine, Jungsu pushing his head against his chest. Giggling to himself, Jiseok resumed carding his fingers through Jungsu’s hair, and the sound resumed along with it.
Oh. Jungsu was purring.
A wave of affection flooded Jiseok’s veins at the realisation. Barely able to contain his feelings, he pressed a kiss to the top of Jungsu’s head, in the space between his fluffy ears.
Jungsu slowly tilted his head up, smiling at Jiseok, his eyes slipping shut when he kissed his forehead as well. The purring never stopped, and Jiseok was feeling dizzy all over again.
“What was that for?” Jungsu asked, a shy smile on his face when he opened his eyes again.
“I just think you’re cute,” Jiseok whispered, as if it was a secret only Jungsu was allowed to know.
Jiseok had never seen anyone blush so fast.
Suddenly bashful, Jungsu ducked his head again, but the way he held onto Jiseok just a little bit tighter gave away his feelings towards the compliment.
But Jiseok wasn’t done yet.
Tilting Jungsu’s head up with a hand under his chin, Jiseok printed his lips against his in what he had intended to be just a peck. When he tried to pull away, however, Jungsu followed his lips, pulling him back in to a more insistent kiss. Their lips slotting together, Jiseok was being pulled into the current, gripping onto the back of Jungsu’s shirt for a semblance of stability. Jungsu pressed closer into his space, Jiseok tilting his head to accommodate him, falling deeper into the kiss until his body followed suit, falling backwards onto the couch.
Laughing as he landed on his back, Jiseok let Jungsu press kisses all over his face, still holding on to the back of his shirt tightly. Absently, he wondered if he had ever felt this happy in his life.
“Be my boyfriend,” Jungsu murmured against his cheek, pressing another kiss there.
Smiling, Jiseok ran his hand through his hair, gently tugging him away so he could look him in the eye.
“As if you have to ask,” he replied, before pulling Jungsu back down against his lips.