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Sion does his best to not dwell on what-ifs. One always leads down to another, back up and across. There was a time before debut where he kept himself up all night following where each thread went, but these days, there’s not much time for overthinking at all. And any moment he doesn’t have to be on autopilot should exist in the present. Not back in memories of cramped trainee dorms, nor a future vision of an empty dorm, cleared out of any trace of them, a newer, shinier group taking place. He only wants now. He only wants Ryo shaking one arm and Sakuya dragging the other to the drugstore for ice cream on Sion’s card. Yushi and Jaehee’s laughter trailing behind. Riku tracing patterns in the sand next to him, knelt down in the shade while the kids lick melting strawberry off their knuckles above them on the pier.
He does imagine for a moment, as the ocean tide inches closer, of a beach far off in Fukui, where Riku traces a bunny with lopsided ears all alone, but he blinks back to the one in front of him here instead, on a Mokpo shore, where Sion could’ve been kneeling alone as well. He gestures for the stick in Riku’s hand, and traces out his own blob of a cat next to Riku’s drawing. An “S + R” underneath it. A big heart rounding it all out. And the tide closes in then, washing it all away.
Later, at the sushi spot, where the kids duel with chopsticks and an orange sun sets slowly, Sion catches Riku’s eye across the table, glowing pink still.