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Steve rolled onto his side in his bed to face Bucky.
It was the middle of the night and, while sleep clawed at Steve, threatening to pull him under, the brunet was still awake. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. His legs were stock straight, and his arms were folded to rest of his stomach in a mock attempt to look relaxed. It wasn’t even close to convincing.
It was clearly tearing him apart inside.
“I don’t mind, Bucky,” Steve mumbled, the thick tendrils of sleep woven through his tone of voice. “It’s really okay.”
Bucky didn’t reply. His blank expression twisted momentarily into the faintest beginnings of a grimace before he managed to school it away again.
“I mean it, Buck.”
“How can you say that?” Bucky grumbled.
His voice was heavy too, but where Steve’s had been with sleep, Bucky’s was gruff with the burden of his overthinking.
“So what if you want to have sex with Sam?” Steve said. “If he’s down and so are you, then I don’t mind. I’d prefer if you didn’t go on any romantic dates with him, but if it’s just sex then go for it.”
Bucky didn’t reply, so Steve ventured on.
“We used to do this before, Buck, back when I was small and we thought that all my ailments were the reason I was like this.”
“How can you say that?” the brunet grumbled.
Steve was sure he would have been able to hear the loud, pained swallow that came from his boyfriend in the quiet of their room even without the super serum heightening his senses.
“It’s not the same.”
Fed up with Bucky’s stubbornness, Steve reached out to physically turn the brunet’s head, forcing him to finally make eye contact.
“You’re right, it is different,” began Steve. “First of all, it’s not illegal for us to be together anymore so we can actually explain to Sam the whole situation instead of you having to feel like you’re sneaking around behind my back to step out of our relationship, even though you weren’t.
“Second, there’s a word for it now, Buck. It’s not just because I was sick all the time. It’s a part of who I am and there’s a whole community of people like me out there, like over 135 million other people like me. Jarvis says it’s most likely more that 1 in every 100 people who feel like me.”
“But Stevie…”
Bucky started to speak but trailed off.
“I don’t expect you to be celibate just because I’m asexual, Bucky.”
He shifted closer to press a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.
“I love you and I promise you, I wouldn’t be telling you that I don’t mind if I really did. You know me, I’m a stubborn punk but I never would’ve hesitated in taking a swing at you if I wasn’t okay with this, not even when I weighed barely 95lbs and had an asthma attack whenever I tried to walk up more than one flight of stairs.”
He kissed him again, just as softly.
“Trust me to know myself, and trust that I mean it when I say it’s okay.”
Bucky hesitated for a moment before relaxing, the tension finally leaving his body as he nodded and kissed Steve back.
“I trust you,” he said. “And I love you too, so much, Stevie.”