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"Okay, so Michael, Uncle Techno has had a lot of very not-nice surprise visits before, so please don't--"
Annnd there he went anyway. Ranboo sighed; the little tyke was growing up so fast, and apparently one of the big cornerstones of growing up was not waiting for his dad to finish his sentence. "Michael, wait up!"
Ranboo had a bit of a harder time navigating the snowy terrain that made up his, Philza's, and Technoblade's house due to being fairly heavier than Michael (for obvious reasons), so he was huffing and puffing by the time he'd crossed the stretch to where Michael was.
The good news was that Michael had stopped in front of the dog pen, completely still.
The bad news was that it was because standing in the dog pen, also frozen in place in surprise, was Dream.
"Who are you?" Michael asked with a suspicious snort.
Ah. Crap.
"I'm-- uh--" Dream stuttered out, clearly unprepared for the little piglin. Ranboo noted a few things in quick succession-- his ears were out, his mask was off, and they were visiting because of a bunny-related holiday.
"He's the Easter Bunny!" Ranboo blurted out.
Dream shot Ranboo a look of pleading alarm. Ranboo's own face expressed the same-- please go along with it, please go along with it, he thought as hard as possible, hoping Dream could read his thoughts in that brief moment.
"That's-- that's right! I'm the Easter Bunny!" Dream agreed, twitching his rabbit nose as fast as possible.
Michael's eyes widened. "The Easter Bunny is real?!? "
"Yes!" Ranboo and Dream said at the same time.
"I'm kind of offended you didn't think I was real, honestly. That makes me sad," Dream said in his best imitation of pouting.
It worked. "I'm sorry!" Michael wailed, horrified that he had hurt the Easter Bunny's feelings. "I thought you were… too cool to be real." He ended that sentence with a nod and nervous grin, hoping Dream would buy it.
Ranboo couldn't help but giggle a bit internally, but he tried his absolute hardest to not let either of the two on.
"I forgive you," Dream said graciously, and apparently couldn't help a small smile of his own when Michael shrieked with joy.
"What were you doin in with Uncle Techno's dogs?" Michael asked, now staring up at Dream wide-eyed.
Ranboo wondered if he could sneak a photo of the two without Dream killing him. He decided to risk it.
"Well, I was trying to hide eggs, but somebunny didn't, uh, give me a warning they were coming beforehand, so I wasn't ready yet," Dream huffed.
Ranboo got the picture while Dream was talking. Yes! Oh, Dream was absolutely gonna kill him for it later. Worth it. Now he was just full-on grinning.
"Do you really lay eggs?" Michael asked.
Dream sputtered. "What kind of-- that's none of your business! That's kind of a personal question."
"Oh, okay."
"Michael," Ranboo goaded gently, "Maybe we should go inside and say hi to Uncle Technoblade so that, y'know, the Easter Bunny can finish hiding his eggs. "
Ranboo shot Dream his best fatherly plea face. Dream stared at him, probably thinking about the gall of Ranboo to ask, before ultimately deciding his best bet to staying secret and safe was, in fact--
"Yeah, so you better hurry up and give me more time, or you won't get any Easter Eggs at all, and then you probably won't get any candy either."
Michael gasped. "Dad come on! Come on hurry we gotta go in!" He began urgently reaching up and tugging on Ranboo's hand, and the hybrid laughed and followed his kid to Techno's door.
Michael knocked with quick little raps as though if he didn't get inside right then he'd explode.
" Heh?!? I'm comin, I'm comin, what's up, who is it--"
The door opened and a yawning Technoblade greeted them. He looked down at the source of the knocking.
"Hullooo. What's all the fuss?"
Ranboo opened his mouth to explain but Michael beat him to it.
"The Easter Bunny is outside and he says if I don't let him hide all the eggs I won't get any candy!!!" Michael explained.
"The Easter Bunny? Wha…?"
Techno looked up at Ranboo, who gave a side-glance to the dog pen, where Dream was rolling his eyes and tapping his foot impatiently.
"OH! Oh right, the Easter Bunny! Mmmyes. I knew that today was Easter. Of course, of course, come in." He let out a very small chuckle under his breath. Ranboo didn't exactly blame him.
Technoblade had very graciously begun making breakfast for them all once they were inside, and Michael was doing his best to not peek out the window, covering his eyes whenever he glanced that way on accident.
"It was all I could think of when he saw Dream out there," Ranboo whispered apologetically.
"Heh-HEH! Nah, nah, it's fine. It's a good excuse. Good thinkin, Ranboo."
Ranboo breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. Hey, I got a picture." He held up the photo he'd taken with a smirk, and Techno laughed aloud.
"Ohhh I am never lettin him live this down," Techno said with a grin. "Ohhh man. You gotta send me a copy."
"I will, I will," Ranboo affirmed.
"When is the Easter Bunny gonna be ready?" Michael asked up at the two.
"It'll probably take a bit," Ranboo said. "In the meantime, Uncle Techno made some nice breakfast for us. We can eat this while we wait!"
"Ah-yep. The more time he has, the more fun the egg hunt will be," Techno said as he sat down, as if it were obvious.
Michael scrunched up his cute little piggy nose and thought about it. "Okay!" He decided, and ate very very slowly.
Ranboo, on the other hand, ate quickly, feeling a little bit guilty for leaving Dream with the egg-hiding job all by himself. "Thank you for breakfast, Technno," he said politely, before turning to Michael, who was still eating in slow-motion. "I'm an adult, so I don't look for eggs anymore, which means I can go ask how he's doing. I'll be back, alright? No peeking!"
Michael nodded enthusiastically. The fork had finally reached his mouth. Ranboo fought a giggle-fit.
Once outside, Ranboo sighed in relief. "I'm glad I brought these with me, " He muttered under his breath, and pulled out the stack of colorful eggs he'd bought for-- okay not quite the purpose of hiding Dream??? But for hiding for like, Michael. He'd already filled the things the night before. And thank you, past self, he added in his head.
Dream was sitting in the dog pen and glowered at Ranboo. Ranboo held his hands up in surrender. "I come bearing a way out," he said, and handed half a stack of the eggs to Dream.
"Really? The Easter Bunny? That's all-- that's the only thing you could think of?!?" Dream asked, huffing.
"I mean. Yeah. It is Easter and you are a… Rabbit. So." Ranboo shrugged unapologetically.
" Ugh okay whatever-- do you want me to like, what, hide these for real?"
"I have the other half; I'll help," Ranboo said.
"So that's a yes."
"Yup."
Dream rolled his eyes. " Fine. Your dumb fuckin kid is gonna think I'm The Easter Bunny for maybe the rest of his life! Ranboo, oh my god. I canNOT believe you."
"Hey, Michael's not dumb, " Ranboo pouted.
Dream sighed. "You know what I meant." That was as good as an apology as Ranboo was gonna get. And he did know, to be fair.
Despite his clear frustration on the matter, Dream began wandering the yard with Ranboo, finding good spots for the eggs.
Ranboo hid a few on the windowsills, under the porch, just set by the side of the house. Dream hid some in, Ranboo wouldn't lie, some pretty good spots. Around Phil's house, by the edge of the fence, and a few on the rooftop-- specifically to spit him, Ranboo was sure.
"There. That's all the dumb fucking eggs I had."
"Good job! I'm out too. That means we're done and you get to, y'know, actually leave."
"Where exactly am I gonna go, Ranboo?" Dream asked, eyebrows raised. "I mean. You're gonna be in the entire area looking for eggs--"
" I didn't ask you to hide them so well," Ranboo snarked with a knowing grin. He suspected that Dream had a bit of fun with it, even if he was loathe to admit it.
Dream huffed. "Yeah, whatever. I guess I'll just pearl out of here, or maybe hole up in Philza's house for a bit. I have been staying with Techno, but clearly his house is out of the question right now, so." A raised eyebrow at Ranboo.
Ranboo grimaced. "Yeahhh sorry about that, honest. I tried to tell him not to run ahead, but--" He sighed. Then he thought better of it. "It was kinda funny though."
"I'm gonna get you back for this," Dream threatened, "Just you fuckin wait."
"Mhm. Oh don't worry I know. Bye Dream!"
The rabbit-hybrid raised a hand in a psuedo-wave, and went into Philza's house. Ranboo walked into Techno's, where the two piglins were waiting for him.
"Brrr! Sorry about that Michael, the Easter Bunny wanted to make sure I'd know how to find all the eggs so we didn't miss any. He's off to the next house already, I think."
"Awww, he didn't say bye," Michael pouted.
Techno patted Michael sympathetically on the head, since he couldn't reach the kid's shoulders.
"He'll be back next year," Ranboo assured.
Techno laughed. "Oh, I'm sure he will be. I'm sure!"
Michael brightened up at that. "Let's go look for eggs!"
In the end, they did manage to find and get all of the eggs Ranboo and "The Easter Bunny" had hidden-- Ranboo lifted Michael up to the higher-reaching ones, and Techno begrudgingly helped Ranboo onto the roof while laughing at him to get the ones Dream had stashed up there. Michael got a lot of candy and Techno got a story he could pester Dream with.
When they got home, Tubbo welcomed Michael with open arms.
"Did you have fun at Uncle Techno's house? I heard you hunted some easter eggs there," he asked.
"I did! I met the Easter Bunny!"
Tubbo sent Ranboo an amused look. "Oh, really? What was he like?"
"Umm… big! He had brown fur and big thumpy feets! --And he said it was none of my business when I asked him if he laid eggs!"
Tubbo guffawed. "You know what? That's fair, that's fair."
Ranboo shrugged at his husband's questioning look with a stifled smile.
" Who the fuck did he actually meet? I didn't think the Easter Bunny was, y'know, real." Tubbo whispered to Ranboo as Michael sat down and began to open his eggs.
Ranboo shrugged again with a smile. "Well, it was definitely a bunny. Maybe it was the Easter Bunny."
Tubbo shook his head. "I fucking refuse to believe that," he said. But he didn't look so certain anymore.
Ranboo, once Tubbo was sat listening to Michael regale his adventure, sent a quick private message to Dream.
"Looks like your secret is completely safe… Mr Easter Bunny."