Work Text:
One night, as she does every night, Gudrid sleeps next to Thorfinn in the little bed he shares with their adopted son Karli. the three of them are practically snuggled up together. The little one in an aproximate position, Gudrid against Thorfinn's body and Thorfinn...straight, taut as a stick.
Thorfinn starts to stir, just like he does almost every night. He fidgets, makes noises, and starts to sweat. Then he finally screams, moving his arms and waking his wife. Gudrid, her eyes tired, looks at her husband's porfile, she watches him scream with a kind of sadness in her eyes... she would so much like to see him sleeping peacefully, but that would be a dream! She looks at him, hoping that it will calm down on its own, as it sometimes does. But the longer she waited, the more it hurt. Gudrid gets to her knees, careful not to bump into her son. She touches Thorfinn's chest, calling for him to come back, but he cries before jumping.
- hm..nh.. A-ahh.. ! *Thorfinn suddenly wakes up, clutching his chest in panic.*
- It's all right, Thorfinn! Breathe... you're here... in bed with Karli and me... *She said, bringing her hands to his cheeks and cupping his cheeks with her thumbs.*
Thorfinn looks at her for a moment as he tries to calm down. He takes a few deep breaths, unable to stop feeling the pain.Eventually he stopped looking at her, his gaze going to the ceiling of the house. He looks again. He says nothing, because all he'll do is apologise...The silence is long, Gudrid lies down beside him again, her head against his shoulder, she hears his voice.
- i.. i'm sorry Gudrid..ididn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry.. *He said in a low voice, full of regret*
- No, everything's fine, Thorfinn... *she replies*
a silence.
- Sorry I woke you up anyway...you'll have to go back to sleep.
- But I don't feel like it. What I want is..to stay awake with you, because I know you're going to stay up the rest of the night. *she smiles softly*
Thorfinn then looks at her and sighs, neither of them will win this battle if they start one...they're both extremely stubborn. He looks at her smiling, why? She shouldn't be smiling when he's woken her up. He sighed again, running his hands over his face as he felt a lump firmly encircle him. This same mass is also beginning to sniff at him.
- ..are you..sniffing me ?
- Hum..nooo.. *she says*
- Why are you doing this?..it's weird..
- because you're my husband and..you smell good, the smell of you soothes me
Thorfinn looks at her and Gudrid smiles, resting her head against his shoulder. He sighs, holding his hand to his chest.He remains silent for a moment, trying to put aside his wife's bizarre obsession to smelling him. If he could, he could give her a better life with him, free of nightmares and night terrors..and all that. But he knows her, and he knows that she'll stay no matter what, because she'll always find something in him that will make her stay, no matter what!
Gudrid, for her part, rests her head against his shoulder, feeling good. She decides to take Thorfinn's hand, which he holds to his chest. She keeps smiling and sighs
- Thorfinn, was it like tonight? Like... every time? *she said as she looked up at him, seeing only the long scar on his cheek.*
- No..like..always ? Nothing different. Don't worry..
- Don't ask me not to worry...it's stupid.
Gudrid straightens up on her elbows to stare at him. Thorfinn looks into her eyes with an apologetic expression.
She's right, he shouldn't say that, but... there it is. He doesn't want to worry her about something he's affecting personally, something he's doing to the person he loves. but it's hard. He's been through some horrible things in his life that have made him the person he is and the person he wants to become. All those traumas, all those people who died at his hands, through ‘his’ fault. He's learnt to live with it, but it's still impossible to deal with. If he could stop it all, he would... he'd like to ask all those people for forgiveness...
- Gudrid..i'm sorr-
- No! Don't say that word, my love. I don't want to hear it because I know it..but I don't care, you're strong, you're cool and everyone loves you..I love you. No matter how many times you want to say it or can say it, we're here and we don't care. We know...
- But..-
- What's important is what you want to do with your life now and... and I'll be right behind you. There are things that I don't know, that I don't know, but with you, everything seems simple? *She places her hands on his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his tears against her thumbs.*
In truth, Thorfinn has a lot to deal with... some nights are harder to bear than others. So even though he knows his wife's words, it touches him to hear them, even if he keeps in mind that she doesn't sleep because of him, that he could do better...
Thorfinn cries. Gudrid comforts him. They spend the night talking, just holding each other.
- Thank you..I feel lucky to have you Gudrid *he says, sniffling just after*
- Some might say you stole me but...I feel lucky to have you too...I love you.
_ ..i..i love you.
End.