Work Text:
Sematary has always had a tendency to neglect himself when he focused on music. Everything connected to his work had to be perfect, so nobody would be able to complain or blame him for it. Music was his whole life, it’s the one thing that defines his worth. Without music, he’s nothing.
It never felt right to Ghost Mountain, though. His insides turned into tight knots even when they were teens and he spent long summer days indoors with Sem, watching him work without much breaks. If he wasn’t engrossed in making a track, he was a great companion… but music was like a drug to him. Always.
After finally graduating from college and eventually ending up moving in with Sematary, Ghost began to notice his destructive tendencies even more. He barely ate, slept, showered… not to mention taking breaks. There was no place for it, he said.
When Buckshot and Oscar flew over to live with them for a bit, to work on the album together, Wren hoped for it to change. He believed that he would at least pretend to be… less of a workaholic, to keep up his nonchalant front. But he was very much wrong.
They all worked on the music, either alone or together, but also found time to relax. Buck enthusiastically took walks, mainly taking Oscar with him, but they also played games together and just hung out on their own. Except for Sem, of course. He was too focused on perfecting the tracks.
Eventually, the day came when Ghost couldn’t take it anymore. He was cooking dinner for everyone - it was really important for him to make sure he makes a meal that everyone will be able to enjoy, considering both Buck and Oscar's sensory issues and Zane’s tendency to skip meals when the food didn’t drive him in the moment he saw it, so he made a simple cheesy chicken pasta and a salad.
Everyone was always really surprised to discover how domestic he really was. How much he enjoyed cooking, cleaning and nurturing his loved ones. But for him, it was just natural. It was a way for him to relax, to make connections stronger and stuff like that. He always dreamed of having a family, a real one. One he never experienced as a child.
That’s when Sematary stumbled into the kitchen where he was cooking, in the same sweatpants and t-shirt he had had on for days, with his hair greasy and eyes bloodshot from staring at the screen for hours, Ghost Mountain’s heart sank. His best friend looked like a nightmare, and he had to do something with him at that point.
He sighed and turned the stove down, then took a few steps towards Sem. He didn’t smell as bad as Ghost expected, but it was still not pleasant. He put his hands on his cheeks and forced him to look into his eyes.
“Look at me. Really look at me now, Zane,” he spoke in a calm, commanding tone. He knew what kind of reaction he was going to get, he had known Sematary for years at this point
“What the fuck d’ya want, dude? Stop…” he groaned and tried to yank his face away, but the firm grip of Ghost’s warm hands on his cheeks was making it impossible. He still didn’t quite look into his eyes, though, not wanting to see the worry and care in them, knowing it would make him break. “Let me go, for fuck’s sake…”
“Shoo. Shut up,” Ghost Mountain hushed him in a bit of a raised voice. He frowned. He knew that Sem was only being a dick out of habit - that it was just a front to keep his vulnerability from spilling all over the place. But he also knew that he had to be clever to break through it. He did it once, before leaving. And to do it again, he will have to overuse the power he had over Sematary due to being his little weak spot.
“I don’t like it when you talk to me like that. I’d like you to apologize,” he stated, knowing that he had to gentle fucking parent that big baby, maybe even play on his emotions a bit, to get him to cooperate. But it was for everybody’s benefit, so he pushed down the guilt he felt. He grabbed Sem’s shoulder firmly, but not enough to hurt him, and pulled him to sit at the kitchen table. “I don’t like treating you like a kid, because you aren’t one, but you are surely acting like...”
“What the fuck, dude…?” Sematary glared at him, but the second their eyes met, he felt incredibly bad for treating Wren that way. There was so much gentleness, so much… care in his eyes… it hurt. He quickly looked away, and crossed his arms on his chest. He knew he was acting like a preschooler, and that Ghost Mountain wasn’t going to let him go until he apologized, but he didn’t want to give up so easily.
“Okay, okay. Sorry. Here, happy?” he scoffed eventually as he felt his hand being taken into Ghost’s soft palms and brought to his lap. It was met by an unsatisfied shake of head, though.
“I want you to apologize, not just… say you’re sorry. I know you are. I just want to really hear it.”
At first the confidence in his voice annoyed the shit out of Sem. How dared anyone assume that he is sorry? He wasn’t, not at all. Or maybe he was. Yes. Yes he was. He just hated how easily Ghost could still read him. It felt strangely… intrusive.
“Okay…” he sighed and looked up at him again, not quite meeting his gaze, though. “I’m… I’m sorry. Like, for real. I didn’t want to… to make you feel bad.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it, Zane,” Ghost Mountain smiled, the kind of smile that lit up his whole face, one he knew Sematary loved the most. He got up and moved back to the stove to turn it back up and finish making the food. Sem was left at the table, completely motionless, his mind once again consumed by the unfinished project, but his body too exhausted to move.
A few minutes passed and Ghost started dishing the food, putting rather smaller portions on everybody’s plates, but leaving the pot on the table. He always thought it was better to get more later than to feel forced to finish the whole thing. “Oscar, Colm…!” he just called out and took his place by Sematary’s side. He shook him gently, which was answered by an annoyed groan.
Buckshot and Oscar walked into the kitchen together, as always, still arguing over some lyrics. It was more of a playful banter from Oscar and an annoyed attempt of convincing him from Buck. It made Ghost Mountain chuckle, the anxiety in his heart disappearing a little as the familiarity of the situation washed over him.
“Goddammit, dude… ya look like shite,” Buck laughed the moment he laid his eyes on Sem, sitting across from him. The goofy grin on his face made Sematary unable to even be mad at him. He just rolled his eyes and looked down at the food on his plate.
“Whatever… and thanks, Wren,” he just murmured and started poking at his food, which resulted in the two other guys repeating the same exact thing. Ghost felt his cheeks grow warm and pink at the appreciation. It’s not like he wasn’t used to praise, but he just never grew out of modesty. Or was it coyness at this point? He could never tell.
The meal passed in a comfortable silence, interrupted by just a bit of small talk and laughter. Nobody really felt like talking, too focused on whatever was going on in their own head. It was usually this way - they mostly talked so much on a daily basis, maybe except for Sematary, that the dinner they shared was a time for being together, but quietly. This time, having Sem at the table as well, it felt even more important to keep up the ‘tradition’.
When his slumped silhouette got up from his seat, though, Ghost Mountain felt his stomach turn again. He stood up, leaving his dish half full, and only looked around his shoulder for a moment as he rushed to get Sematary before he managed to get back to the studio.
“Can I ask you to wash the dishes, please? I got… stuff to do,” he asked, getting a quick nod from Buckshot who only listened to him with one ear, his eyes locked on Oscar who was picking the tomatoes out of the salad. Ghost mentally face-palmed. He forgot about that little fucking quirk yet again…
He didn’t have time to beat himself over it at that moment, though. He just followed Sem in big steps, gripping his shoulder again just as he laid his hand on the door knob.
“Where do you think you’re going, mr. Steckler?” he asked with a playful edge to his voice, trying to soften this unpleasant encounter. This phrase was always used by Zane’s mom, usually when he still had something to do around the house and she caught him as he was leaving, presumably with Wren.
“Damn it, what now? I ate that fucking…” he growled, but his voice wavered the moment he turned around and caught a glimpse of Ghost’s eyes again. A sigh escaped his lips, but once he spoke up again, his tone was softer. “I ate that dinner. It was good, thank you again. I gotta go and finish up a track now, yeah? It’s important…”
“What you gotta do is go and take a shower. Bath, even,” Ghost Mountain’s finger poked his stomach, just like it did many times before when he was insisting on something. Sematary groaned and grabbed his wrist, pushing it away gently. “You’re more important than that stupid album…”
“That stupid album, how you fuckin’ call it, is what keeps
me fuckin’ goin’. It’s everythin’ to me, get it? It’s a way for people to start takin’ me seriously again…”
“People take you seriously, dude… I get it, okay? I know you. You wanna make it perfect, yeah?” he sighed, his hands taking Zane’s as he slowly pulled him towards the bathroom. He had to be careful, making sure he didn't notice anything. “You can’t do that if you feel like shit, okay? And you do. I see it…”
Just as Sem wanted to snap at him, to tell him that he knows damn well what he is doing, he realized he was standing in the middle of the bathroom, his hands intertwined with Ghost’s. He quickly pulled them away and gave him a glare.
“God, you’re not gonna drop it, are ya?” he furrowed his eyebrows, arms crossed on his chest. He knew Wren was right - he was usually right, for some fucking reason. Everything about him was so… perfect, in the most imperfect way ever. And maybe now that he was in his space all the time, he had to run away to the studio to get rid of the swelling in his chest that grew with every look into that stupid man’s eyes…? “Okay. Alright, I’ll take a fucking shower…”
“A bath.”
“A bath. Whatever. But you leave me alone once I’m done, okay?” he rolled his eyes, trying to hide the way his heart fluttered in his chest when Ghost smiled at him so sweetly. It was so goddamn unfair. Why did he have to be so messed up when an angel like this smiled at him every day…?
Ghost Mountain just nodded and slided out of the room, leaving Sem all alone with his thoughts again. He quickly shook his head, trying to get rid of the ‘stupid shit’ that clouded up his mind, and turned the tap on. He really needed that bath, that’s for sure.
As he soaked the dirt off of his body, Ghost sneaked into his room with a clear plan at hand. He had already washed his goddamn sheets last evening, but they haven’t been touched since then - Sematary barely visited his room lately. He grabbed the towel off of the bed and picked some clean clothes - boxers, sweatpants, t-shirt… even a pair of fuzzy socks he got him last christmas, yet never saw him wearing.
He threw the clothes into a dryer - one he laughed at Zane for having countless times after moving in with him - along with the towel, and let them warm up for a little while. When he heard the loud thump of Sematary setting his feet on the ground, he took the things back into his arms and rushed back into the bathroom.
He knocked on the door, but more out of courtesy than anything else, because he paraded right inside without waiting. It was met with another glare from his best friend, but it wasn’t anything out of ordinary, and his gaze softened the moment he saw the stuff he was holding, anyway.
“Damn, dude… what are you today, my mom?” Sem laughed awkwardly, but took the towel into his hands with gratitude. It was surely nice to be taken care of like this - nobody really did that after he turned 10. Unless you counted Ghost Mountain, who would do little acts of service like this even when they were just teens. “Thanks, man. Like, for real…”
He just shrugged and started cleaning up the bathroom just so he didn’t stare at Zane drying himself and changing into the fresh clothes. When he was done, though, it was a moment for him to walk right back into action. Before Sem could leave, Ghost grabbed his wrist and looked into his eyes pleadingly.
“Aw, c’mon… you can’t be just… leaving now…”
“I have work to do, I told you. And you said you’ll leave me alone…”
“Oh, shut up, goddammit…” he rolled his eyes and pulled Sematary out of the room with him. He had to manhandle him a little like that just so he could get him to relax. “You work all the fucking time. I need you to take a break, okay? Please. You’re already doing so good…”
“Ion need breaks, dude. I needa make this tape fucking perfect, okay? I need to work to achieve that…”
Wren couldn’t listen to him anymore and just pushed him onto the bed. He stared down at his dumbfounded expression for a little while, then left… and came back just as he was standing up.
“Oh no, no… you’re staying the fuck on your ass,” he said firmly holding a bottle of lotion in his hands. He grabbed his wrist again and crawled on top of the mattress. “I’m feelin’ nice today, so I’ll even give you a massage instead of trying to make you go to sleep…”
This caught Sem completely off guard. A massage…? Well, sure, they would give each other massages sometimes when they were younger, but… it felt… foreign at that point. They haven’t been close like that for a long time now. Ghost was quite good with that massaging thing, and the idea of having his hands on his back again… he couldn’t say it wasn’t appealing.
That’s exactly why he stayed seated on the bed as Wren slid behind him and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt to pull it off. He put it beside them, and started putting a generous amount of lotion onto his hands. At the same time, his best friend felt his heart beating a little faster at the idea of being so affectionately touched by his best friend.
“Just relax, okay…? Lemme just… help,” Ghost smiled and started massaging the cold cream into his tensed up back. He started with the top of his shoulders, making his way down. It felt… good. Amazing, even. He let out a quiet groan, and he let his head fall down and his chin to hit his chest.
“You’re totally fucking overworking yourself, dude… You’re such a talented musician, man. An amazing rapper and producer…” he spoke quietly as he kneaded on particularly tough spots in the back of his neck and his shoulders. He knew damn well what he was doing - he was trying to get Sematary to not only relax, but also feel better about himself so he would stop trying to make things impossibly perfect. “You are losing your spark when you work too much…”
“Bullshit. I got a whole lotta things to work on,” Zane shook his head with disapproval. He tensed up even more, not used to such nice things being said about him. Sure, there were fans who would be nice to him, even thank him for his music… but he didn’t have anyone to really praise him for years. Ever since Wren left, to be precise.
“Shh… You got your whole life to work on ‘em. Right now just… relax. Please…”
“God, you’re insufferable…”
“You are too” he chuckled, but then continued whispering sweet praisings into Sematary’s ear as he massaged the knots out of him. He could feel him trying to keep his facade up, but it was slowly crushing under the massaging hands. “But I am still really proud of you, y’know? For everything you’ve done…”
“There’s nothin’ to be fuckin’ proud of, I guess. They only ever fuck with the shit you’re on…”
“That’s not true, Zane. And you know it. They like your solo work, too. I like it…”
Zane scoffed, but let the massage continue. His heart was really in a lot of torment - on one hand, he really wanted to talk to Ghost. To tell him everything, to explain his feelings and emotions, at least to the extent he can. But on the other hand… he had never really done that before. Not with his family, not with any of his friends, not with a partner. But after all… Wren was something more than any of those things…
“I’m just fuckin’ tired of tryin’, man. This shit makes no sense…” tears appeared in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. He was a man, he wasn’t supposed to cry…
“I’m happy you’re trying, though. Even if it’s hard. It’s good to see you not giving up… That’s what I am proud of the most.”
“Thanks, man. It… it really means a lot…” he muttered and quickly wiped away the single tear that dripped down his cheek. For a moment he was sure that Ghost didn’t notice, that this was the end of their conversation…
“You crying?” Wren asked instead, his hands stopping the massage for a moment. He gently wrapped them around Zane’s middle in a desperate attempt to comfort him, but it was too late. He already triggered his best friend, badly. “Y’know…”
”No. I’m not fuckin’ cryin’ dude, that’s fuckin’ dumb” Sematary tensed up completely. He frowned and straightened his back, then he tilted his head to the side. Some painful-sounding cracking of his bones echoed through the room.
“Zane, it’s okay if you do,” Ghost sighed and rested his chin on Sem’s shoulder blade. He wanted to fully see his best friend’s face, to calm him down. He knew it was a touchy subject for Sematary, but he had to upset him a little to make his plan work. “I don’t mind…”
“Shut up, goddamnit! I ain’t cryin’, ‘kay?! You on my ass ‘bout everything today! Jus’… jus’ leave me the fuck ‘lone, bitch…!” he tried to stand up, to push him away, but to no avail. Wren’s arms were squeezing him tightly, locking him up in the embrace.
“Stop it. Zane,” he demanded, pulling him into a lying position. He then rolled them over so he was on top and pinned Zane down to the mattress. “You… hear me? Just… just stop… fighting!” he groaned, making his words even clearer as he caged his best friend with his whole body.
At that point he straddled Sematary’s hips, holding his head against his own chest, doing his best to make him feel safe. Ghost wanted to give him a little hideaway, a place to be vulnerable for once. He didn’t really appreciate it, at least not at first - he was trying frantically to get his best friend off, to push him away like he always did…
“Shh… shh, Zane, it’s okay. You’re okay,” Wren murmured into his ear, his words coming out a bit muffled since he kept his mouth against Sem’s forehead. “It’s fine, Zaney… you’re safe. Please… please, calm down. I love you. You’re fine, Zane…”
Quiet and unfaltering words of reassurance spoken against his skin eventually calmed Zane down enough for him to start thinking straight. He went pretty much limp in his best friend’s arms, and now the gears in his head were turning fast. Tears started pooling in his eyes once again as he listened and recalled all the things that have been wrong for the last… long period of time.
“I’m not angry, Zaney… I just want you to be fine. I… I want you to… to let everything out. Please… It’s okay…” Ghost continued, his arms finally loosening around his head. He moved his hands to gently rake through Sematary’s still half-damp hair. He didn’t need to be so desperate in his embrace anymore, since Sem held back onto him on his own at that point.
He once again rolled over, so the position in which they ended up basically cuddling was more comfortable. He nuzzled his face back into his friend's hair as he cried into his chest. No matter how terrible it sounded - everything was going perfectly according to play, much to his surprise in all honesty. He pressed a gentle kiss to the black, damp strands.
“My beautiful boy… yeah…”
Being called his ‘beautiful boy’ had a special effect on Zane, one that he didn’t want to admit to. He wanted Wren to call him that all the time, he yearned for it. Cringe as it was, it left him hot and red in the face, but also incredibly happy. He couldn’t resist those words of appreciation, of… belonging.
Ghost could tell that the phrase meant something really special to him, mostly from the way his muscles tensed up and then loosened completely the moment he heard it… He decided to take a bit of advantage of it, just to ground Sematary quicker.
“Yeah… beautiful boy. I’m so proud of you, Zaney… My sweet, handsome boy,” he smiled and started pressing more kisses to his head. He wanted to make Sem happy, to make him feel safe and loved. He didn’t even care about it coming off as ‘gay’ or ‘inappropriate for friends’. They were much more than friends, and he hoped that he wasn’t the only person feeling that way…
“Mmph… Wren…” Zane sobbed out, his hands gripping his best friend’s waist. He wetted the whole front of his t-shirt, but neither of them seemed to care. They only cared about the emotional side of the situation at that moment. “Wre-en…”
“Yeah? What do you need, hmm?”
“I’m… I-I’m sorry…”
“No need to be,” Wren sighed and hugged Sem’s head into his chest with one hand, the other one still splayed across his back, rubbing up and down. He hated it when Zane felt obligated to apologize for showing his true feelings. He was always bottling up everything, and it was hard not just on him, but also on his whole environment. “Just rest, okay? Just rest… I’m here…”
“Y-you… you’re so, s-so good t-to me and… and I-I’m mean,” he continued, his hands curling into fists in the material of Ghost’s t-shirt. “I’m a… a d-dickhead. I… I…”
“You’re not, Zane… you’re just…”
“F-fucking stupid. I… I-I’m t-tryna be good but… b-but it’s t-to hard… i-it’s too d-damn hard… I just… I need y-you…”
It was hard for Wren not to break down himself as he listened to those pained words. So he stayed silent, unable to speak without crying.
“I hate it. I-I hate being… being t-this… but… but I-I can’t keep f-fucking going, man, I… I-I just can’t. I… I haven’t e-even… Haven’t really c-cried f-for years… Not since… since…”
Sematary didn’t finish his sentence, but they both knew what he meant. Ghost bit his lower lip not to make a noise as tears streamed down his own cheeks. He couldn’t comprehend it, accept it… The love of his life, unable to cry, not from the day they parted their ways. Not until he was back in his life.
“Shh… shh, buddy. It’s… f-fine. I’m here, I… I-I promise I’ll never leave y-you again, okay? I… I love y-you, Zane. I love you…” he spoke up eventually, voice shaky, but not as slurring as Sem’s. He wasn’t crying anymore; in moments like this, he was able to put somebody else's emotions before his own. He cupped Zane’s face with trembling hands. It was wet and sticky with tear marks, but he didn’t mind. He just wanted to see his best friend.
“I-I love you t-too…” Sematary mumbled out, not even protesting against being seen in his messy, red-faced state. Their eyes met, and it was enough. They didn’t need to seal their feelings with kisses, or anything else of that matter: They had known about them for years, they just never had enough courage to admit it. Now, in the safety of their own house, they didn’t have to prove themselves to anyone. They could just… be.
So they were. They stayed in each other’s arms the whole night. Zane’s crying subsided as he slipped into unconsciousness, and Wren watched his features soften. The frown that usually clouded his face was finally gone. There he was, peacefully resting…
His beautiful, darling boy.