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The ferry gently rocked side to side as it glided across the water, the salt air filling Katya's lungs as she walked across the deck, hiding deeper into the hood of the thin coat she stole off the back of someone's bike.
Nobody looked at her. She was just another passenger shielding herself from the wind—safe from the gun tucked into the back of her jeans and the knives hidden in her boots, but nobody knew that. They were too busy with themselves to notice a single woman disappearing towards the toilets.
The silence was intense when Katya closed the outer door behind her and found herself in a lower part of the deck. A long corridor stretched out in front of her, small, circular windows giving her a view of the sea to her left. She slid the hood off her head, keeping her face turned away from the camera in the corner.
Natasha wasn't on her A-game. Katya hadn't had a difficult time following her onto the boat and into this corridor. Way too easy for a woman running from one of the most powerful governments in the world. Her wife was slacking. Or, her body didn't register Katya's presence as a threat.
Katya looked for the bathroom signs and found them halfway down the hall. Not a bad place to hide, Nat, she thought. No cameras in the toilet. She silently made her way over until she stood directly in front of the door for the women's toilet, her heart slamming against her ribcage with anticipation.
The tap was running. She could picture Natasha standing there, washing her hands, freshening up. Trains, boats and airplanes always made her wife anxious if she was on the run. For a given amount of time, you were stuck on them. That knowledge was enough for Katya to finally knock on the door.
The tap immediately closed, followed by a long, tense silence. Katya knew what Natasha was doing; getting her gun from her pants, clicking the safety off, and getting ready to yank the door open at once to catch her off guard.
Honestly, it was a bit cruel. Katya could say something to let Natasha know it was just her, but she wanted to see the surprise on her face. Anxiously, she wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans, realizing too late that she didn't bother to fix her appearance.
One moment, she was staring at the faded sign on the door, and the next straight into the barrel of a gun. Katya didn't jump—unlike her heart. Instead, she looked past it, at her wife's utterly shocked expression, and painted a small smile on her lips.
Natasha looked worse than the last time she'd seen her. Her skin had always been pale, but it looked translucent now. The dark circles under her bloodshot eyes stuck out like blood in snow, and her lips were dry and chapped. Even her hair looked dull and lifeless, hanging in an unkept bun.
The gun clattered to the ground. Natasha grabbed Katya's wrist and yanked her into the toilet, locking the door behind her. They nearly stumbled over each other's feet in their desperation to be close.
''Oh, my god. What are you doing here?'' Natasha breathed in disbelief.
Tears squeezed Katya's throat closed. ''I needed to see you.''
Three months of no contact was utter torture. No way of knowing where Natasha was, if she was still alive, how she was doing. It ate Katya alive. Sleep came less and less easy for her, despite getting more and more exhausted every day. Her nails were bitten off, her hands were constantly trembling, and her mind had a fog lying over it that was probably dangerous, given their situation.
Katya's body collided with Natasha's when the redhead pulled her into her chest, her fingers digging into Katya's shoulder blades like she hung on to her for dear life, suffocating Katya in a hug so tight it nearly stopped her body from shaking.
Katya sighed deeply, allowing herself to relax for the first time in three months. If it weren't for Natasha's death grip, she would have collapsed right to the floor. Her legs couldn't keep her up anymore. The comfort of her safe person, the presence of her invading all her senses, rendered her completely useless as a human being. Tears leaked from her eyes in a steady, silent stream, carrying months of anxiety and stress out of her body.
They didn't say anything, but they didn't need to. Actions always spoke louder than words.
When Natasha finally let her go, Katya saw that she was crying, too. ''Did something happen?''
''Yeah, I spent Thanksgiving with a bottle of Vodka until I passed out,'' Katya joked weakly, but it was the truth. It should have been spent with everyone, with the person she was most thankful for in this life. Instead, she'd been thankful for the alcohol blurring her thoughts enough to fall asleep for ten hours.
Sadness flooded Natasha's features. ''Where have you been?'' She muttered, wiping Katya's tears with the pads of her thumbs so delicately that only more tears followed.
''Up in Denmark, I think. Honestly, everything starts to look the same. I think I'm going insane." Katya chuckled humorlessly. "My pills ran out and I haven't been able to get new ones.''
Instantly, she was pulled into another hug. Less tight this time, but still enough to heal some broken parts from her. ''Stay. Stay with me for a while.'' Katya heard the determination in Natasha's voice, the tears blurring her words. ''The cabin I'm going is so secluded we could hide out for a couple weeks.''
Katya's stomach dropped. She wanted to. Actually, she thought she was going to die if she didn't stay with Natasha. But two people together were easier to find than two individuals. ''You know we can't stay together," she whispered heartbrokenly.
Natasha pulled back enough to look in her eyes, silently pleading with her. ''Just for a while.''
It was impossible to ignore how broken she looked, her cheeks red from crying. This was what the government was hunting; a pair of broken people who had a harder time seeing the point of living every day. ''A few days,'' Katya hesitantly gave in.
Natasha nodded reluctantly, her hands finding Katya's cheeks to pull her in for a kiss so delicate she nearly collapsed again. Her tears trickled onto Natasha's hands and down to their lips as they moved with melancholy and tenderness. This couldn't fix her broken spirit or mind, but it mended her soul just a little bit.
''You know we're only making this harder for ourselves?" Katya muttered, her eyes closed as her forehead rested against Natasha's. "Every time we part, it gets harder. The smart thing would be to never meet up.''
''When have we ever done the smart thing, though?" Natasha responded, a small smile on her lips that quickly faded into a look of soft adoration when Katya opened her eyes. She shook her head, as if she couldn't believe herself how much she loved her wife. "I love you so much.''
''I love you, too," Katya choked out, diving forward to press her lips against Natasha's again, pretending that for a moment, all was right in the world.