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A pack is made up of two things, trust and loyalty. With broken trust, loyalty disintegrates until there is no use in either. I was always oh so eager to find someone who fit those two categories that I never checked if they would stay that way.
I once knew an alpha who beamed like sunlight. Bright, radiant, almost painful to see at times. They were at times impossible to look away from. They had a string of packs beloved to them that seemed to fade day by day. I was worried but they always reassured me that the setting sun would always cause a rising one. And I believed them. Then, one day, I got swept up into their sunbeams.
The blame had started slow. At first it was forgetting to scent them. Perfectly reasonable to be upset about that. My memory was not the best and they were my pack... It was only right for me to scent them. I mumbled an apology and went to quickly scent them to make a rainbow and go about my day. They were my sunshine to my rainy day. I'd do anything for them.
Later, almost a year later, the blame became a baking oppressive heat on my neck. My memory was getting worse with each passing day. I was waking up day to day with their scent in my nose and their back to mine. I didn't remember when we had combined nests, so I supposed that it was always like this. The heat of their scent boiling mine.
I was gone for the day, but the way the alpha acted was closer to a month. They barked at me to get over there. I shuffled over, my feet bumping into each other like clumsy pup paws. They blamed me for the nest's scent fading. I had felt exhausted, all I wanted was to crawl into my own nest for a night's sleep and be a calm sea, but now? There was a strange undertow to my scent. Deep and murky, like swamp water. Inside of me, there was a pull deep in my gut. It felt like it was calling me to pull them under. To flood them out. To drown out this sandstorm of an alpha. To never let this stranger in again.
I was zoning out, I realized a second too late. They grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed my face into the nest. What was deep and murky about my scent became sharp and acidic. Blood in the water. The last thing I could remember was the scent of cold blood and warmth... That warmth pooling down my face and into the sheets.
I was finally at peace that night. Cool, dark, calm peace. All alone... The only thing that wasn't perfect about it was the scent of blood on the sheets.