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When Clarke was seven, Abby decided that she wanted another child. A boy this time, if luck was in her favour. Jake wholeheartedly agreed.
When Abby was 31 she had another child, because she could.
She remembers every minute of her second pregnancy, from Daniel’s conception (the best part) to nine months later at his birth. She remembers holding her baby boy for the first time in her arms, Jake opening the door to her hospital room for an over-excited Clarke to barge through. She remembers looking into her baby’s beautiful blue eyes and feeling nothing but pure love for the new life in her arms.
Clarke was the one to choose Daniel’s name.
Abby remembers that too.
Her alarm goes off at 6:30 every morning, fifteen minutes before Jake gets up, and half and hour before the kids do. It’s the only way she can shower in warm water in the morning as well as get everyone’s lunches together and breakfast made on time so the entire family could be out of the house by 8:30.
Jake comes down half an hour later, dressed in a nice shirt and pants. He greets her with a kiss on the cheek, and promptly reaches for the already-brewed pot of coffee to pour himself a cup. She’s already half-finished hers by the time Clarke gets down fifteen minutes later, dressed and her long blonde hair drying at her shoulders.
“Where’s your brother?” Abby asked as Clarke slid into her seat at the kitchen table, eagerly pouring herself a box of cereal.
“I dunno.” She replied in typical eighteen-year-old fashion, shrugging her shoulders. Abby looked at her for several seconds, expecting some more explanation. When all she got was silence, she sighed and made her way upstairs.
Daniel was, of course, still in bed. When she knocked on the door, asking to come in, he replied with a muffled whimper that bordered on pitiful. She entered the room to find it pitch black, blinds shut tight, and her son buried full-body under the covers. Smirking to herself, she saw her son’s ruse for what it really was - a poor attempt to get out of school for the day.
“It’s time to get up kiddo.” She said, flicking on the light of her son’s bedroom. He moaned from his spot on the bed, burrowing deeper into the covers.
“Mooom.” He groaned. She had to hand it to him, he was really laying it on thick today. He did sound like he had a stuffy nose. But there was no fooling her.
“Oh honey,” she said, playing along with Daniel’s ruse by using her ‘concerned mother’ voice, “Are you sick?” She asked, walking over to sit on the edge of Danny’s bed. He turned to look at her, with just his eyes looking at her over the blankets. He nodded his head in answer to her question.
“How do you feel?” She asked.
“I think I’m dying.” He answered quietly. She almost rolled her eyes at his antics.
“Uh oh, that sounds pretty bad,” She continued, reaching out to touch his forehead and pretend to look for a fever.
“Do I still have to go school, mom?” He asked.
“No, that’s probably not a good idea,” she replied, almost laughing when he visibly relaxed underneath the sheets. “Though I do think you should come to the hospital with me today. I can do some tests, figure out what wrong with you.”
“Tests?” He asked, voice hesitant.
“Oh it’s just a couple needles, honey, nothing to be afraid of.” She replied. And with that, her son almost leapt out of bed.
“I think I’m fine now mum, bye.” He rushed while running out the door to the bathroom. She just chuckled quietly to herself before rejoining Clarke and Jake downstairs. Danny came down twenty minutes later. What followed was a rush to eat breakfast, hand out lunches, clean dishes, collect homework, put shoes and jackets on, and pack everyone into the mini-van after remembering to lock the front door.
Danny was dropped off at school first, then Clarke after that. Finally Abby would be dropped off at the bus stop which she took to get to the hospital downtown. Before she got out of the car, Jake pressed a kiss into her cheek and wished her a good day.
She was off to a good start.
Everything began tumbling down from there.
It started with the bus arriving late.
Which was odd. The bus that took her from the subdivision where she lived to right in front of the the hospital where she worked arrived every day at 8:52 and dropped her off every day at 9:27. Starting to get worried, she checked her watch to see that it was already 9 o’clock. She told herself she would wait five more minutes, and if the bus didn’t come she would call Jake and hopefully he would be able to drive her. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait very long because the second she looked up from her watch the bus appeared in her view. When it stopped in front of her, she paid the fair, said good morning to the driver, and went to got sit in her usual seat by the second set of doors near the back of the bus. She noticed several other faces in the bus that she saw every day, though didn’t attempt to converse with anybody. She just took her seat, and proceeded to stare out the window for the rest of the drive.
Three stops later and the bus picked up another passenger. Which was also odd, since it never stopped between her stop and the hospital before. Looking up, she saw a man with a full grown beard and longish hair step on the bus. He took a second to get the necessary change out of the pockets of his black hoodie. She returned to looking out of the window before he could do so.
However, before she could entangle her mind in the blissfulness of watching the world pass by her outside, she was startled when the man decided to sit next to her. She remembered there being many other seats open on the bus, so why had he decided to sit next to her? She decided not to give it much thought, and returned to looking outside.
The bus continued on in silence for another couple stops before the man sitting next to her started to speak.
“How do you know it’s real?” He asked, startling her out of her reverie. She turned to look at him to find him staring straight at her, his deep brown eyes staring into hers.
“P-pardon me?” She asked, wondering why he was talking to her.
“You sit there and stare out the window, how do you know it’s real?” He repeated his question. She was beginning to think that he might have some sort of mental illness.
“It just is.” She answered, trying to end the conversation and return to staring out the window.
“But how do you know?” He asked for a third time, beginning to get on her nerves.
“What do you mean?”
“What street are we on?” He asked, moving slightly closer to her, causing her to move her body away from him. His eyes still bored their way into hers. Yet no matter how unsettling she found it, she could not look away.
“I don’t know,” she replied, “ I don’t know what route the bus takes.” He nodded as if what she said had proved his point.
“What’s the name of hospital you work at?” He asked.
“How do you know-?” She tried to say, bewildered at how he somehow knew she was a doctor.
“What’s the name?”
“It’s the one downtown.”
“But which one? ”
“There’s only one hospital downtown.”
“Isn’t that weird?”
“What are you talking about?”
“How many people live in this city?”
“I don’t know, a couple million?”
“Then why is there only one hospital? He asked. She stared at him, no answer to his question came to her mind.
“Excuse me miss, but is this man bothering you?” Another voice asked her. Looking up she saw a police man towering over her and the man next to her.
“N-no, it’s fine officer.” She replied, trying to deescalate the situation.
“No need to lie, ma’am. I’ll take care of him.” The officer said, immediately starting to manhandle the guy sitting next to her into standing up. She tried to stop the officer, but found that no words would leave her mouth as the policeman forced the other man out of the bus and out onto the street. As the doors closed behind him, Abby swore she heard him say one final thing before the bus drove away.
She swore she heard him shout her name.
Twenty-five minutes later and she’s sitting at her desk in her office, the faces of her family staring up at her from the picture frames that only add to the litter that sits on the wood. She set her mind on trying to clean the mess up before she began any work when Jackson popped his head into the room, knocking politely on the wooden doorframe.
“Hey Dr. G.” He said, smiling like always.
“Hey Jackson, how are you doing today?” She asked.
“Great, as always.” He replied, stepping out from behind the wall and stepping a foot into the room
“That’s good,” she continued, “Anything you need me for?”
“Oh just delivering a message. Dr. B wants to see you ASAP.”
“Did she say what it was about?”
“Nope,” Jackson replied, shrugging his shoulders.
“Okay, I’ll see her right now.”
“M’kay Dr. G, talk to you later.” And with that, he rushed out of the room. Abby took a second to collect herself, before making her way to Dr. Beccris’ office on the fifth floor. On her way there she walk passed seven nurses and two other doctors, who each greeted her by name even though she couldn’t remember any of theirs. She was pleasantly surprised to find that one of her favourite songs was playing on the elevator ride up. When she arrived at Dr. Beccris’ office, the door was closed but Abby could see that the other doctor was talking to someone on her headset. When she made eye contact with Abby, she waved for her to come in and sit down.
“-just notify me if you see him again, thanks.” Dr. Beccris said into the headset, obviously at the end of her conversation. She touched it to end the call, and sat down in her chair across from Abby. Like always, Abby was slightly stunned by how well put together Dr. Beccris was, as well has how clean her office was.
“Was there something you needed to talk to me about, Doctor?” Abby asked. The other doctor giggled.
“Abby, how many times have I told you call me Alie?” She said jokingly before continuing, “No need to act so serious, I just wanted to see how you were doing today.”
“Oh.” Abby answered, surprised at the question.
“I just saw you were a few minutes late today, and was wondering if there was anything troubling you.” Alie explained.
“Oh, no everything’s fine,” Abby replied, “My bus was just a couple of minutes late today is all.”
“Oh well that happens every so often. How are your kids? And your husband?” Alie continued.
“Jake’s great, and Clarke and Danny are perfectly fine. Actually funny thing happened today…” And as Abby continued to recount her tale of how Danny tried to pretend to be sick that morning, she found that Dr. Beccris laughed in all the right places. Ten minutes later and Abby was on the way back to her office feeling significantly lighter than she was before.
Abby lost herself in work until she felt her stomach growl just a half hour past noon. Laughing at her ability to be so one-track minded, she grabbed her lunch bag and started to make her way to the cafeteria. On the way there, she passed by the windows that looked over the outside courtyard that was nestled in the middle of the building, only to see a familiar man in a black hoodie sitting at a picnic table.
Wanting to know who the strange man was, she changed her path and ended up in the courtyard, staring at the man eating a chocolate pudding cup before sitting down across from him at the picnic table.
“You know I always wondered what chocolate tasted like.” He said in the way of conversation, digging his spoon in the plastic cup to get every bit of pudding out.
“Are you following me?” She blurted out. He finally looked up at her.
“I’m here every day.” He simply stated, which did not answer her question at all.
“So what, you work here? Are you a janitor or something?” She asked. He smiled, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth.
“Something like that.” He replied cryptically.
“Why aren’t you answering any of my questions?”
“Because, you’re not answering any of the right ones.” He said. She was starting to get angry at this man and his inability to say anything straight to her. For a second she tried to think about what he wanted her to say. Just then, she thought of something. The only question that she actually wanted to be answered.
“How do you know my name?” She said, staring him in the eye. He smiled again, this time wider. His eyes looked better when he smiled.
“First you have to answer a question of mine,” he replied, leaning forward so that he was closer to her face, and continuing in a whisper, “What is my name?”
She was taken aback, staring at him is disbelief. She had only met this man today, she had no way of knowing what is name was. Why would he ask such a stupid question?
“There you are!” Someone shouted from behind her. Abby turned around to see two orderlies, a nurse, and Dr. Beccris enter the courtyard, and run toward her and the man. The orderlies went up behind the man, grabbing his arms and pulling them behind his back, then slamming his upper body against the picnic table. He began to struggle, almost breaking himself free when the nurse came up behind him, administering a dose of anesthesia to his neck and knocking him out. Seconds later, a third orderly appeared with a stretcher, and they took the man away.
Abby sat there in complete shock, jumping almost out of her skin when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She looked up to see Dr. Beccris staring down at her, a concerned look on her face.
“Are you alright, Abby?” She asked.
Abby took a second before answering, “Yes I’m fine.” She said, nodding her head, “Who was that man?” She asked.
“A patient of mine.” Dr. Beccris stated, “He’s been in the psych ward for some time now. I’m sad to say that he’s a very sick man. He has delusions.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, it’s quite terrible really. He occasionally leaves the ward, and likes to send us on wild goose chases to find him again.”
“Maybe you should post a guard on him. For his safety of course.” Abby said.
“What a good idea, Abby.” Dr. Beccris replied, squeezing the hand on Abby’s shoulder, “I’m glad we had this chat.” And with that she walked away, leaving Abby to enjoy her lunch in the pleasant heat of the afternoon sun.
Ten hours later and Abby was sitting in bed, her bedside light on, reading a book that was taking a longer time to finish than she thought it would. Jake joined her in bed a couple minutes later, kissing her cheek.
“You alright, Abby?” He asked. She looked at him questioningly, wondering what had brought the question about.
“Yeah, fine.” She replied, suspicion in her voice, “Why?”
“You’ve been quiet all evening. Something happen at work today?”
She scrunched her nose, trying to think of how she acted that evening that might have tipped her husband off to her weird day. She found she couldn’t remember anything in particular.
“Just a weird day, one of Dr. Beccris’ patients got out of the psych ward and decided to start a conversation with me.”
“Oh, Dr. Beccris? She’s such an amazing person, don’t you think.” Jake asked, almost completely changing the subject.
“Yeah.” Abby agreed, ending the conversation and returning to her book. Fifteen minutes later, she dog-eared the page she was on, shut off her light, and went to sleep.
A light shining in her eye.
“Damn it, she’s still non responsive.” A voice said.
“What do you mean?” Another person asked.
“She isn’t rejecting the program, damn AI bitch still has its hold on her.”
“So I gotta go back in there?”
“I guess.”
“You guess ?”
“Look, Kane, this isn’t an exact science. I don’t know how she’ll respond if you keep prodding her.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Jackson, Kane, any news?” A third voice interrupted them, female this time, sounded familiar.
“Sorry Clarke, nothing yet.” Jackson? Kane? Which one?
Someone holding her hand. How can she feel it?
“Come on, mom. You have to wake up.” Clarke said.
Clarke? Clarke ?
Where’s Daniel?
The next day started the same as the day before. She woke up at 6:30, Jake came down fifteen minutes later, the kids half an hour after that. What followed was a rush to eat breakfast, hand out lunches, clean dishes, collect homework, put shoes and jackets on, and pack everyone into the mini-van after remembering to lock the front door.
Drop Daniel off first, then Clarke, drop Abby off at the bus stop. Jake kisses her cheek, she gets out of the car.
The bus arrives on time today. There’s no weird man sitting next to her. She stares out the window until the bus stops in front of the hospital.
She remembered dreaming last night, which was odd because she can’t remember the last time she had a dream. Especially one that stuck in her brain for so long, like the lyrics to a song from a commercial that she just couldn’t get out of her head. She knew that Jackson and Clarke were in the dream with her, which was odd within itself. But there was also a third person, a man named Kane, who she didn’t know.
The name sat in her head for the entire day, nagging her until she decided that she needed to do something about in. She went to her computer, opened up the web browser, and typed the name into a search engine. It returned over a hundred million results, which did not help her at all.
Sighing, she closed the window, berating herself for letting this stupid dream bother her so intensely. Just then, a second thought came into her head. She opened the patient database for the hospital on the computer, then typed the name into the patient search and enter. One result came up.
A man named Marcus Kane had been admitted into the psych ward a couple weeks ago, and was being treated for delusions by Dr. Alie Beccris.
What is my name?
Abby gasped, staring in disbelief at the computer screen in front of her. Without even thinking, she rushed out of her office, not even closing the door behind her, and made her way to the psych ward on the fifth floor. Like yesterday, her favourite song was playing on the elevator on the way up. She didn’t notice this time.
She passed Dr. Beccris’ office, turned left, went through two doors that needed to have her ID scanned to let her through, and found herself in the psych ward. Patients dressed up in normal clothes and hospital gown alike roamed about on their business. She stayed close to walls of the hallways, trying to look for the man named Marcus Kane among the crowd. When she couldn’t find him in any of the common areas, she decided to go looking in the individual rooms. While walking through the hallways, looking in through the windows on each of the doors, she came to a halt when she saw Dr. Beccris standing outside one of the rooms, discussing something with a nurse. Abby almost turned around to walk away, but was stopped in her tracks when Dr. Beccris looked up, straight into her eyes.
“Abby,” Dr. Beccris called to her, smile plastered on her face, an unconscious shiver ran down Abby’s spine, “What are you doing in my domain?” The other doctor asked.
“I-I just wanted to check on our escaped patient from yesterday, see if he was okay.” Abby stammered out, nervous for no particular reason that she could explain. Dr. Beccris had never given her cause to be nervous, she was such an amazing person. Abby walked up slowly to the room, sneaking a peek inside it when she got there. She gasped when she saw the state of it.
The room had been trashed. The chair and desk had been flipped over, and paper and trash had been littered all over the floor. The disarray wasn’t even the most striking part of the scene before her. Right in front of her, written in bright red ink that was almost dark enough to be blood, was a phrase.
The devil is in the details.
“Oh my god.” Abby gasped, eyes wide, unable to move.
“Yes, sadly Mr. Kane had a breakdown in the middle of the night. We had to send him to a facility that was better suited to his needs.” Dr. Beccris explained, her voice almost sounding hostile when she said the patient's name. Abby nodded absentmindedly, unable to tear her eyes off the words in front of her.
The devil is in the details.
“Is there anything else you needed, Abby?” The other doctor asked, shaking Abby out of her reverie.
“No, I’m fine.” Abby stated, nodding at Dr. Beccris and quickly walking away, eager to get away from the psych ward as soon as possible.
That evening she was sitting down with her family around the dinner table. Clarke was at her right side, Daniel at her left, and Jake sat across from her. She ate quietly, her mind still focused on the events that had occurred earlier in the day. She was so preoccupied that she hadn’t noticed that Daniel had been talking to her for almost a minute now.
“Mom?” He said for the fifth time without her noticing, reaching over to poke her in the shoulder, which snapped her out of it.
“Yes honey?” She asked.
“You okay?”
“Of course.” She comforted him, smiling and rubbing a hand through his hair.
“Did something weird happen at work today? You’re not talking a lot.” He remarked.
“Nope,” She lied to him, “Everything’s fine. How was your day?”
“Good.”
“How were your classes?”
“They were good.” He repeated.
“That’s it?” She joked, “What classes did you have today? Which one was your favourite?” She asked
“Oh, you know, the usual.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders and going back to his dinner. For some unknown reason, his reply unsettled her.
“How about you Clarke?” She asked, turning her head to look at her daughter.
“Oh, the same as always.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know, same classes, same teachers, same students.”
“But what class is you favourite? Do you like your teachers? How are your friends doing?” Abby asked, almost hysterical. Clarke looked at her in surprise.
“Damn, mom, what’s with the inquisition all of a sudden?” She asked.
The devil is in the details.
Abby smiled, “Nothing honey, just wanted to know how your day was.”
Why aren’t there any details?
A light shining in her eye.
“How ‘bout now?” Clarke asked.
“She’s close.” Jackson replied.
“But not yet?” Marcus asked.
“One more push.” Jackson reassured.
“I can’t go back in there, Alie’s locked me out.” Marcus reminded.
“Then let’s hope she can do this by herself.” Jackson stated.
Silence. Too long.
“I’ll stay with her tonight, you two get some sleep.” Two pairs of footsteps walking away, a loud sigh, something being dragged over a metal floor.
Someone holding her hand. How can she feel it?
“You have to wake up, Abby.” Marcus is there.
Hand on her cheek.
Lips on her forehead.
His beard tickles.
“You have to wake up.”
She finally jumped awaked almost violently, sitting up in bed and gasping. Looking over she was surprised to see that Jake was still sound asleep. She got out of bed and went to the washroom, turned on the tap and splashed water on her face. It calmed her down. Without any explanation, she went back to her bedroom. Changed out of her pajamas for a pair of old jeans, a black tank top, and an old jacket that sat at the back of her closet. Five minutes later she left from the front door of her house, not even locking it before she walked away.
It was still night outside. Lamp posts lit her path as she walked through the winding streets of her neighbourhood. Streets that she couldn’t remember the names of. She came to a four-way stop and took a left, then a right, another right, straight through, a left, she walked for so long that she could barely remember the path behind her.
But that was okay, for some reason. She didn’t need to know how to get back home.
She walked for what felt like hours, finally coming to a halt when she somehow ended up at her bus stop. The one she took to work everyday. Even though her legs weren’t even tired, she sat on the bench inside the bus shelter, hands burrowed in the pockets of her jacket even though she didn’t feel cold. She rested her head on the glass of the shelter and closed her eyes.
“Mom?” A voice cried out suddenly a few minutes later. She jumped to her feet, looking around wildly to see Daniel walking toward the bus stop.
“Daniel?” She asked, bewildered, “What are you doing out here?” He walked into the bus shelter and she knelt in front of him, holding his cheeks in her hands.
“I was looking for you,” He explained, eyes looking at his feet.
“What were you thinking? Walking in the dark by yourself? You could have been hurt.” She said, angry.
“It’s okay, mom. Nothing happened.” He tried to comfort her. She was having none of it.
“Come on, we’re going home.” She stood up, and reached out for his hand. He didn’t take hers.
“Can we just sit here for a while? My legs hurt.” He said. She found that she couldn’t say no to him. She motioned for him to sit, and sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders and bringing her to her side.
“What were you doing up so early, mom?” He asked innocently.
“Just clearing my head. I had a weird dream. How ‘bout you, pumpkin?”
“I had a nightmare. You weren’t there. That’s why I came looking for you.”
“What was the nightmare about?”
“There was a man. A scary man, with a beard. He was trying to take you away from me.” Her breath lodged in the back of her throat, that description sounded familiar.
“What was the man’s name?”
“Marcus Kane.” Abby gasped.
The devil is in the details.
“How do you know that name, Danny?” She asked her son. He didn’t answer her.
“Mommy, why are you crying?” Daniel asked her. She brought a hand up to her cheek. She hadn’t noticed that tears had started falling down her cheeks.
“Something's wrong, baby. Something’s wrong with everything and I can’t explain it, but I know it’s not right.” She said, still crying.
“What do you mean, mom? Why are you saying that, you’re scaring me.” He cried, tears coming out of his eyes as well.
“I don’t think any of this is real, Danny. I don’t think you’re real.” She finally admitted, to him and to herself.
“But I am!” He shouted, “I have to be! You remember everything, right? You remember when I was born? And all the things we did when I was growing up? You said I look just like dad when he was a kid!” He stood up and hugged her, nuzzling his head under her chin. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking his head in comfort.
Just like his father.
Exactly like his father.
The devil is in the details.
The bus was coming.
“I’m sorry honey, but I have to go.” She said, almost robotically. She couldn’t help herself from crying as she stood up and pried herself from his grip, “Stay here, everything will be fine.”
She walked out of the bus shelter and onto the road, straight into the path of the oncoming bus.
When she turned around to look at her son one last time, he had disappeared.
ALIE the AI in her bright red dress stood in his place, glaring at Abby.
The bus hit her head on. She felt nothing.
Abigail Griffin woke up from a dream the second time that day.