Chapter Text
Darry got too attached. He knew from the beginning it would never last, but there was still that small part of him that somewhat hoped. hoped that he’d be able to spend his future with him. But alas, they were doomed from the beginning.
Darrel vowed to himself to not get carried away. Not truly, but he liked to think he did. The truth is; he had one foot out the door since he ever laid his eyes on Paul. It wasn't like first love or any of that sappy shit that neither Darry nor Paul were fans of. It was more of a longing that neither of them knew they had prior.
It started off small. ‘Platonic’ glances from across the room and friendly pats on the back every so often. But then it grew to actual conversations, conversations turned to deeper conversations, led to transparency, led to truth. The scary truth.
“Have you ever had feelings.. That you don’t quite understand or like, but you still feel?” He remembers Paul asking late that fateful night at the end of sophomore year, laying in paul’s bed extremely intoxicated, which had been prompted by Paul finding the key to his father’s liquor cabinet.
“I mean.. I guess.” Darry responded. He remembers the way their hands brushed together nervously, neither knowing what they were doing, both scared.
He remembers the way his heart raced, the nervous silence, the vague scent of the expensive shampoo Paul’s parents could afford. He remembers the way paul looked at him with that soft bittersweet look that darry both loved and hated. He remembers how there subtle touches somehow got more confident yet more nervous.
Paul's hand reaches to play with the hairs at the nape of Darry's neck.
He remembers the moment their lips met, sobering both of them instantly. The feeling of freedom. He remembers the way it sent shocks through his body, the feeling that followed every touch of Paul's hands. The gentle touch on his face and Paul's gentle breath against his face. The overwhelming feeling of love, followed by a sense of dread, for there was no world for them. There was no world for two boys, a greaser and a soc, football players with bright futures. There was too much to lose.
Suddenly the small glances became small touches turned into soft moments turned into more passionate ones. Fooling around, no strings attached. Until emotions got in the way. When Darry was with Paul it all felt perfect. Darry knew he was falling. People made falling in love seem like this fairytale experience. But Darry didn't like it. Because it didn't feel like falling in love, it felt like plummeting to his death. He was falling hoping Paul would catch him, knowing that Paul was watching from the ledge.