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Peggy Carter hated hospitals. This was probably truer than any other fact about her that anyone could claim to know in regards to her personality. It wasn't as if she hadn't spent her fair share of time living in New York City getting shot at, stabbed, almost run over, and so on; her line of work meant that being in a hospital was just part of life, and she was used to it. Even if certain people would have a few choice words to say about Peggy as a patient - no, the reason why she hated hospitals wasn't because she could be difficult when confined to a bed, it was the feeling of utter helplessness when it was someone else on the other side of things and she couldn't do anything at all but wait.
Oh that word. Wait. Wait until the doctors and nurses could do whatever they could to stabilize their patient. Wait until it was time to be allowed inside the room. Wait until they awoke from their surgery. Wait until it was alright to breathe again. And with nothing left to do, Peggy decided that sitting around was absolutely pointless, because the better alternative surely had to be pacing up and down the waiting area. There was that word again-
“Hey, Carter, have some coffee.” Jack Thompson's voice broke through her reverie and her head snapped up to see him standing there with two coffees in his hands.
“Thank you, but no. I doubt it would help my nerves at the moment.” Peggy knew that Jack was just trying to help her and truth be told, she was relieved to have a friend with her.
Jack nodded and wordlessly handed the extra cup to Daniel Sousa who remained seated where he had been, quietly observing Peggy, but not saying anything. Yet.
The three of them had been here for several hours already and still, there was no word from any of the nurses whom they had seen on this floor. A part of Peggy realized that maybe no news meant there was nothing to be concerned about, but it was definitely driving her crazy not knowing if- no. When. When she would see him again.
“He's going to be fine.” Sousa’s calm voice interrupted her train of thoughts once more.
“You don't know that, Daniel.” Peggy said with a sigh as she slumped on the chair next to him, if only to get her mind off things.
“Sure I do. Jarvis is a fighter, he's one of us. One bullet isn't enough to keep him down; you'll see.” He reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze.
Once, the gesture would have given her butterflies in her stomach, would have made her blush, even if she wasn't the blushing type of a woman, but for a long time now… Peggy and Daniel both knew that their feelings for each other had developed into a deep sense of respect and friendship. The kind that Peggy was lucky to have in her life, especially at a time like this.
If she was being honest with herself, her heart had been given away to someone else, and it was the guilt of him having taken a bullet that had been meant for her which she kept trying to push down and lock it up in a box.
“Mrs. Jarvis?” A new voice suddenly called out, one of the nurses, Tiffany, had just exited the operating theater.
If Jack or Daniel registered any shock at the name, they didn't let it show as Peggy stood up, bracing herself for the news.
“Your husband's lucky, it was touch and go for a while there, but we managed to get the bullet and shrapnel out from his shoulder without any lasting nerve damage; he’s going to need some physical therapy and rest, but in the long run he should recover normally.”
“Can I see him now?”
“Yes, but only for a little while though. He's still under the effects of the sedatives, so he's asleep right now. You can go ahead, it's room 215.”
“Thank you.” Peggy let out a deep breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding in.
“Mrs. Jarvis?” Jack couldn't help himself as he posed the question he and Daniel were both thinking about.
“Yes. Well, there was no other way - bullet injuries are something that hospitals would have to report to the police. I had to think of something fast; my husband and I were caught in the crossfire at the Plaza Hotel, he saved my life when he pushed me aside at the last second and got hit.”
Everything had happened exactly the way Peggy described, she simply altered one piece of information, the one that was most critical of all. As Jarvis’s wife, she signed off on the surgery which allowed her to see him now that he was recovering.
“Clever thinking.” Was all that Jack said, but Peggy picked up on the sincerity in his voice, “Did you want us to wait for you?”
“No. No, I think that I shall stay here tonight.”
“A change of clothes then, we'll head over to the penthouse with Angie and pick up some food as well.” Daniel offered.
“Thank you, I appreciate you both.”
“Think nothing of it Carter, you'd do the same for us.” Jack tipped his hat before he and Sousa headed out, saying they’d return in an hour or two.
And with that, Peggy was left alone to face her savior. She took a minute to get her bearings, before she walked towards room 215, pushing the door open without giving it a second thought; she was SSR Agent Margaret Elizabeth Carter and she wasn’t about to let anything get in the way of coming face to face with the man who was dear to her heart, in more ways than one, and that included herself. Still, it was a bit of a jolt to her system when she walked inside and saw Edwin Jarvis lying unconscious with his right arm in a sling and his head bandaged up as well - she remembered him taking a hit in the chaos of everything when the enemy had attacked. Were they HYDRA agents or not, she didn’t know, but none of that mattered to Peggy anymore. Jarvis looked pale, paler than she had ever seen him and it was only when she registered the beeping of the monitors that he was hooked up to did she know that he was here. He was alive. And he was going to be okay. Peggy had to believe that.
“Oh Edwin…” She sighed as she sat down on the rickety plastic chair beside his bed, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from his face, acting purely on instinct. “Why do you always have to be so bloody heroic?”
Peggy knew from personal experience that when someone spoke to a patient, they were vaguely aware of hearing that person’s voice, but for some reason, she found herself at a loss for words. She didn’t know if she should be thanking him or yelling at him or a combination of the two; the only thing that she knew was that she wanted him to open his eyes as soon as possible. Wiping away the unshed tears, Peggy reached for his left hand and held it in hers, deciding that she was going to talk after all.
“Do you remember the advice that you gave me after I was bedridden after being impaled on that piece of rebar? You said to me,‘these adventures, they’re only enjoyable if you return from them,’ and I agreed with you then, so I’m telling you now, come back please… come back to me.” She whispered, knowing it was selfish to say those last words out loud, but her heart needed to say something.
It had been a few years since that conversation, but even though the adventures were less frequent with less of Howard’s involvement, every now and then, Peggy and Jarvis would work together on some of the cases that required his unique skill sets; a partnership that had evolved over time to a solid relationship. They had gone through so many losses together, celebrated the victories that came their way, and their friendship, trust and respect had only deepened with time. Almost absentmindedly, Peggy started to rub circles on the back of his hand, not realizing that her fingers had strayed to where his ring finger lay bare. Ana’s death had shocked them both to their core and she knew that no matter how much time passed, he would love her forever, and that’s why she had stayed silent about her own feelings; when they’d changed from loving him as a friend to… something more… Peggy couldn’t say, it felt as if it wasn’t one big moment of revelation or just one thing that happened between them, but rather years of moments between them that had built towards this. From the day they had met and all of the events that followed, in spite of everything, she knew she wouldn’t change anything. Save for today. She closed her eyes and prayed to whatever higher power may or may not exist, out there in the vast universe.
Whether it was hearing her voice or perhaps the caress of her fingers against his, Jarvis began to stir and was slowly coming to his senses, blinking his eyes rapidly against the bright light of the hospital room and wincing at the sound of the heart monitor beeping constantly.
“Y’know… if… if you… wanted to… hold my hand, Miss Carter… all you had to do was ask me.”
“Mr. Jarvis!” Peggy exclaimed in delight when she saw him open his eyes and turn to look towards her. “You’re awake! Wait here, I’ll get the doctor-” She practically jumped to her feet and was about to head out the door when she felt his hand gently grasp hers.
“Miss Carter. Peggy.” He tried to sit up and winced, causing her to pivot and assist him carefully, helping him to get comfortable and handed him a glass of water from the bedside table. “Thank you.”
“How… how are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been shot.” Jarvis said with a soft smile, “I’ll be alright Miss Carter, it’s only a flesh wound.”
“Is that so?” The two of them met each other’s gazes and as soon as she sat back down, Peggy dove right in, “Well then explain to me what on Earth were you thinking pushing me out of the way! You had no right to do that! I’m perfectly capable of handling myself in a shootout and there was no need for you to put yourself in harm's way!”
“I was thinking that you were in immediate danger and I acted selfishly out of pure instinct, as I’ve always done, even as Mr. Stark’s butler, to protect my charge.” Of course he was perfectly calm about the whole situation, he had always been like that from the very beginning.
“You’re not my butler though, are you now Mr. Jarvis?”
“No, decidedly not, Miss Carter, but I had made a promise to Mr. Stark all those years ago when I first met you - to protect you, by any means necessary.”
For a minute, Peggy was caught off guard by his confession, simple but direct and effective as well. Jarvis noticed her reaction and reached for her hand, mirroring her caress from earlier; it worked brilliantly, for it not only distracted Peggy’s anger towards Jarvis for the moment, but also helped calm her nerves.
“I thought I was going to lose you.” She finally said, looking him in the eyes, not willing to back down. “And- and that scared me more than anything.” Shaking her head as if remembering all the past times the two of them had faced dangerous people and impossible situations, Peggy didn’t know if she should go on, but now that she had started down this road, there was no going back. “I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you.”
“Then you know what I was thinking in that moment, Peggy.” Jarvis’s voice was softer now, and hearing him call her by her first name caused her heart to somersault, “The world would be a much darker place without you in it. And so would my world have been, if I had lost you too.”
Her eyes snapped up on hearing his words; surely he didn’t mean what she thought- no. No, that wasn’t right. Was it?
“I- Edwin…” What could she even say?
Thankfully, Jarvis seemed to know that there was a slight hesitation on her part and he took the opportunity to explain himself. After all, almost dying did have a tendency to put things into perspective.
“Did you know that fidgeting with my ring finger has been a nervous tic of mine for a while now?” Jarvis began to say, “It’s been two years… but sometimes, I still feel the weight of the ring… like a phantom…” He paused to take a breath, “I love Ana, and a part of me always will, but, I know she would want me to try and find happiness again, find love again.”
“Do you mean…?”
“Yes, I find that I’ve fallen in love with you Peggy Carter. I know that I’m just a butler and I don’t have much to offer-”
Peggy refused to let him say another word as she placed a finger over his lips and shook her head.
“Don’t you dare sell yourself short Edwin Jarvis, you are worthy of love and I have felt the same way for a long time now; I couldn’t quite tell you when I realized it even, but perhaps a part of me has loved you since… well…”
She drifted off mid-sentence as a memory came back to her; almost soon after she had met Jarvis, while hunting for Howard’s missing inventions, when he had been stitching up her wounds one night at the penthouse. That conversation echoed in her mind now.
“There is not a man or woman, no matter how fit he or she may be, who is capable of carrying the entire world on their shoulders.”
“Steve was.”
“From what Mr. Stark has told me, Captain Rogers relied heavily on you… for courage, strategy, and moral guidance. You were his support. Your desire to help others is noble. But I doubt you’ll find much success unless you allow others to help you.”
“Peggy?” Jarvis had noticed her falling silent and waited for her to come back to herself.
“You saw me,” She turned to him with tears in her eyes now, “Even before we really knew each other, you could read me better than I could read myself, and when you offered to help me, I knew I could trust you.”
“As I trusted you too, my love.” He said with a smile.
“I like the sound of that… and before I forget to say it, I love you too.” And for the first time since the day had begun, Peggy finally felt like she was home at last.
Whatever came their way next might be unknown, but Peggy knew that with Jarvis by her side, they would be able to face it all together. Roxxon, Isodyne Energy, Dottie Underwood. Whitney Frost, HYDRA, atomic bombs, black holes, daring escapades and thrilling adventures were part of the job; but now, Peggy had someone in her life to live for, to love and to cherish.