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Summer has never really been one for all the big Valentine’s Day things couples will do at school: the large bouquets, the surprise singing in class, the large public confessions - she hates it. Sure, she used to pretend to enjoy it, but anyone who truly knows Summer knows she prefers something more private, if anything at all. If Summer had it her way, no one would do that for her at all, no one would embarrass her with large actions that hardly mean anything at all - she doesn’t need the world to see how much her significant other likes her, she just needs to feel loved herself. Is that really such a big ask? Summer never thought it would be. People she’s dated in the past suggest otherwise.
Instead of that, Summer’s last two boyfriends thought the only way to impress Summer on Valentine’s Day was to create the biggest declaration of love in the whole school - balloons, the choir, streamers in her locker, love letters, the works. Maybe they would come off as more romantic gestures if they weren’t looking for other people’s reactions. And look, she gets it. Summer is really popular in her grade and there are ideas people have about popular people and what they want but Summer just hoped maybe they would ask her instead, maybe they would love her enough to know. And maybe that’s her mistake, maybe she should have realised earlier just how uninterested she was in guys but it’s too late for her to take that back now.
From there on out Summer swore she wouldn’t date anyone - no amount of love was worth the humiliation she will inevitably feel when she realises they didn’t quite love her as much as she thought they did. Summer Dileo became notorious for rejecting romantic affection from anyone and finally Summer thought she might be safe, won’t have to worry. Then in waltzes Jade Ngô from wherever he was hiding and slowly but surely, Summer felt herself falling. And then they were dating and Summer found herself to be one of the happiest people alive. It didn’t take her too long to realise she had a Valentine again, but oddly enough, she doesn’t dread it anymore.
Where anxiety would pool in her stomach at the thought of Valentine’s Day, now she only feels butterflies - and damn it, it’s kind of weird. Summer has spent enough of the last few Valentine’s Days dreading the date that to not dread it feels unnatural. To love and trust Jade so much that she doesn’t dread Valentine’s Day feels odd to her even though it is the most natural thing in the world to trust her. This time though, she spends so much time thinking of what she’s planned for Jade, she doesn’t even have the time to unnecessarily worry about what has happened in previous years and whether she’ll experience it again.
So, Summer doesn’t even have the time to worry about whether there’s going to be a loud profession of love from Jade this year because every smile she gives her now screams “I love you” loud enough only for Summer to hear. She doesn’t have to worry about large bouquets or obnoxious cheesy songs or any loud display from Jade that will earn her unwanted attention. All she really has to worry about is whether random people she doesn’t really know at all will try to confess their love in the middle of class, it’s happened before and will probably happen again even if Summer tries to deter them - and she’d be lying if she hadn’t already spotted Dakota trying to convince Will to talk to her even despite his “will they, won’t they” thing he has going on with Vyncent.
Instead, Summer can only smile at every shared glance she has with Jade, at every shared whisper. Because Jade loves Summer so much, she knows this, but the world doesn’t need to know this too, not yet, and Jade respects her so much as to not try anything like that. She loves Jade so, so much. Summer may be used to taking centre stage when performing but that doesn’t mean she wants to spend her whole life with a spotlight on her. Some things she wants just for her and her friends and family to know. When Summer is pulled aside after school by Jade, the butterflies in her stomach aren’t from nerves, it’s from the way the sun bounces off him in a way that makes her hair glow, her eyes shine, and his smile radiant; Jade looks ethereal. Jade has her black helmet tucked under his arm and Summer’s bright pink one extended out to her and Summer feels herself grin widely as she takes it, knowing full well Jade is going to take her on her motorcycle.
As Jade takes her to Lickity Splits, where they’d planned to have a small ice cream date after school together, Summer can only smile happily to herself. She realises for once she has a Valentine at school who doesn’t just love an ideal version of her and she’s at a loss for words. Summer thinks maybe she’s found the one, the love of her life and her bestest friend in the world. She holds onto his waist tighter and says “I love you” loud enough for Jade to hear and settles comfortably in the way it easily falls from her lips - she loves Jade, she loves her so, so much. . And he can’t say anything back for the moment, not with the wind blowing in the way of their travelling, but Summer doesn’t need Jade to squeeze her hand briefly to know she loves her too.
It could remain unspoken forever but Summer would always feel it in the way he acts around Summer, the way she smiles at her, the way he exists easily with her. Summer just holds her waist tighter, as tight as she can without hurting him and presses her head against Jade’s shoulder like she’s giving her a kiss despite the helmet. If his gentle laugh says anything, it’s that Jade knows. Summer loves her so much that she would recreate the galaxy just for him. She loves Jade so much she would risk it all for her. She loves him so much that she would spend her life in any and every universe with her. Summer loves Jade, and he knows.
As they’re pulling into a park all Summer can think is she’s so in love with Jade it’s only natural, it’s irrefutable. Jade’s taking off his helmet and somehow that makes Summer love her even more. Summer takes off her own helmet and is pressing a kiss so quickly to his cheek that she can see the brief flush on Jade’s face before she tries to smile normally again (it doesn’t work, she can tell Jade is as lovesick as Summer feels). Then Jade is taking her hand as they walk into Lickity Splits and Summer finds herself to be a giggly, stumbling mess the entire time. How did she get so lucky as to call Jade hers?
Summer asks for all of Jade’s favourite sweets to be piled onto his ice cream and before she can say anything, Summer pays for their order. As they sit down in the practically empty establishment, Summer has never appreciated the quiet just as much as she does now. She knows it’s because it’s still technically winter, and that they planned it this way on purpose, but Summer still finds herself reveling in the serenity. And that must do something to her face, a soft smile or something Summer hasn’t picked up on because suddenly Jade is leaning in close and whispering about how pretty she is. The comment makes a flush rise to her cheeks and Jade only smiles more. ‘So pretty’ he says while intertwining their fingers and Summer’s left a little speechless. She’s forgotten every rule about dating ever and blanks. She tells Jade that she’s pretty too and knows it’s the right response when he turns away to hide the blush that has crept up to the tip of her ears.
And the date is small and simple and everything Summer has ever dreamed of - something just for the two of them. Summer loves Jade so much and Jade loves her too, it’s not something that can be doubted even if they didn’t let the whole of Prime know just how much they love each other. They eat their ice cream, and share a bit too, and they end the afternoon by diving to a spot on a larger hill in Rockfall to watch the sunset. Summer is thinking of how much she loves Jade the entire time. When she has to go home, Jade walks her to the door and does the only overly cheesy thing she’s done all day under no scrutinous eye: Jade hands her a small brown Valentine’s Day bear. I love you, Jade says, pointing to the red heart in the bear’s hands that reads the same thing. She laughs at him then, something small and so full of love, and gives her a quick kiss before saying goodbye.
As Summer heads inside she feels as though she’s floating on a cloud - never had she thought before now would she be this well respected and she’s so glad to have been corrected. She’s so glad she has found someone she can be herself around, someone who’s expectations she doesn’t have to live up to because Jade loves Summer for who she is and not who he thinks she is. And Summer would be lying if she used to think she’d never find something like this, would never find someone like Jade who loves her the way she does. And maybe the thought is sad, but what else was Summer supposed to think?
Almost everyone around her has had expectations of who she’s supposed to be from the moment they saw her. Her peers want the stereotypical popular girl and all that entails, her teachers want impressive grades and an impressive extracurricular list, her family wants a girl who’s perfect in all the ways she’s not, and her sisters just want Summer to be less annoying to them sometimes. One of those is easier to do than the rest. But Jade? Jade hasn’t placed a single expectation on Summer since they met, he loves her just as she is, flaws and all, and that may be the most surprising thing of all.
Because Summer has been scared of dating for longer than she could say. The idea of it is nice in theory but of all the experiences she had before Jade, dating someone, loving them, never seemed as good as it’s made out to be. While realising she was a lesbian definitely helped, there’s something still so scary at being vulnerable, thinking you love someone with all you can give and only being met with a halfhearted attempt to know you, to understand you as a person. Yes, she never actually loved the boys she dated, she realises that now, but she still thought she did at the time, and nothing hurt more than realising they only liked who they thought she was - the popular girl they expected of her. So, Summer has been scared of dating as much as she is scared of flies. Who knew all it took to rid her of that fear was to meet Jade? To fall in love with her.
That thought makes her pause on where she is on the stairs. Halfway up and suddenly she can’t take another step. Because yes, she loves him. Yes, she’s in love with her and thinks maybe Jade might be the one but Summer didn’t realise the weight of her words until now. This is love she’s talking about. Love with a capital L. Maybe she’s not scared of dating anymore but she’s definitely still scared of this, of Love. She Loves Jade and that feels as natural as breathing, like it’s something that has been coded into her DNA since the beginning of time. She Loves Jade and that scares her. How can Summer even be so sure? She’s still only in High School, she doesn’t even know who she wants to become, how can trust her judgement here? How can she be so sure Jade is the One.
What if he's the last one Summer kisses? What if she's the only one she’ll ever miss? What if Summer spends the whole rest of her life with him? What if she doesn’t get to and there’s no one else she’ll ever fall in love with? What if Jade is it for Summer and she never loves anyone else as much as she loves her? What if all the love she feels in her chest is reserved for Jade and Jade alone? What if he feels the same? Would that really be so bad? What if, like most things, they don’t get a happy ending? She runs up the rest of the stairs in a panic.
Maybe she shouldn’t continue this, maybe Summer should find a way to break up with her as soon as she can. Maybe they should stop and save each other from the heartbreak later. Maybe Summer should stop it from becoming even more real than it already is. Summer can feel the panic settling in easily as she makes it to her room, she can feel her heartbeat so strong it starts climbing out her throat and she wants it all to stop. Maybe if she ends it with Jade it will all stop. Maybe she’ll be protecting them both in the long run.
Then just like that, Summer realises just how irrational she’s being from a single message from Jade - it sends a shock through every bone. One single message and just like that, Summer feels okay again.
”Happy Valentine’s Day, Sunshine
I love you so much <3”
Suddenly, her entire train of thought has vanished and is replaced with something else instead: even if this does end badly, this is the most loved Summer has felt in her life and she owes it to herself, and most importantly she owes it to Jade to try - to love him anyway despite whatever cost comes with it. Summer is so, so lucky to be with someone as incredible as Jade, to love someone as amazing as her. And maybe that is scary, but it’s definitely a kind of scary Summer should fight for. She loves Jade, and that’s a beautiful thing, she loves him even if it will hurt her later.
When Summer feels okay enough to respond, it’s with a flurry of heart emojis and an “i love you” in response. She sends off the message and feels her chest grow warm, losing control of her heartbeat in the process. She loves Jade so much, more than anything or anyone else in the universe and that love is so strong she cannot keep it in her chest. And she doesn’t care if it means she now has someone to lose now, loving Jade is easy, loving Jade is safe, loving Jade is like returning home after too long spent away. Jade is her Valentine, and the only person in Prime she wants to be her Valentine.
So, maybe she could question how she fell in love with Jade, or whether it’s worth the risk, or whether Jade will be The One forever. Or, maybe Summer could just let it be, love Jade as much as she wants and feel the love Jade feels for her in return. Maybe Summer can just let herself bask in the fact she gets to call Jade hers, or that she gets to kiss her all the time if they both want to, or that she can fall asleep some nights next to the love of her life. Maybe, Summer can let herself enjoy the fact she blinked and suddenly had a Valentine.