Chapter Text
─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
Dark shadows of the trees and their green leaves dance on the floor, birds chase each other between the branches overhead. The smell of fresh rainfall, mud, and the strong smell of soot and ash assault the senses, the gentle breeze only wafting the scent around the forested area. A small sniffle breaks the natural noise of the environment.
Then, a thud against the wet mud.
Followed by a sob.
And silence.
“. . . please get up,” The eldest says softly, his voice almost as gentle as falling feathers but far too shaky to make such a hasty comparison. Maybe on a normal day, maybe during a normal week you could make that sort of comparison. Not here though, not now. Maybe not ever again.
“Pip.” The eldest pleads again crouching down in the mud, his knees sinking into the brown sludge, further dirtying his already somewhat singed olive green overalls. He gently places his hand on the shoulder of the small figure beside him, who is, well, practically face down in the mud and doesn’t seem too keen on changing that.
“Phil—” He attempts again, his voice being comparable to glass about to shatter as it hitches uncomfortably,
“I can’t . I can’t . I can’t . Caleb I can’t please— ” The youngest sobs out his whole body shaking like the leaves in the trees overhead as he shakes his head in his hands. His matted brown hair rocking along with him as he trembles frantically.
Caleb lets out a small, quiet sigh as he gently scoops Philip into his arms. Completely seeming to disregard the mud smearing all over his own clothes, he gently presses his lips to Philip’s matted hair hugging him close to himself. His arms provide a firm comfort, but a small tremble rattles through them anytime he exhales a breath. It doesn’t seem to bother the younger, as he clings onto Caleb’s dirty shirt further worsening the state of the stained fabric as snot and tears leak out of his face uncontrollably. How such a little thing can shed so many tears is a wonder.
And they sat like that, in each other's presence for just a little while, Caleb combed through his little brother’s hair gently with his fingers. But the time passed and it’s painful , time feels as if it has stopped—that the birds have stopped playing in the trees, and that the trees have stopped dancing. But time hasn’t stopped, and it keeps marching forward.
“We have to Pip, please , just for a little while longer—”
Caleb says, his voice hitching as he quickly tenses up squeezing his eyes shut so as to not cry. Philip finally looks up from the shirt he was holding hostage in his grip, eyes pink and raw from excessive crying. Filthy and disgusting, the older one does not care. He does not seem to even see him, his own eyes glossy like that of a porcelain doll, a fog in them that both of them know. Philip feels shame rise from his chest to his eyes but..
There are no more tears left to cry.
Time doesn’t stop, not even for those who desperately need it to.
They must continue to march onward, they must not think about the past.
They must continue to march.
Philip sinks his feet into the mud once again, his legs unloyal and betraying as he collapses again. He mumbles under his breath something only for himself to hear as he stands up gritting his teeth as to distract from his numb limbs. He wipes his nose harshly with the sleeve of his shirt as he lets out a small hiss.
“I hate being dirty.” Philip huffs annoyedly as he takes in a shaky breath, he looks back at his brother who now seems to be the one not keen on standing up. Philip feels as if someone has placed a heavy rock in his stomach. His older brother’s hair is just as matted and dirty as his own, a far contrast to his usual light ashy blonde. Smeared with dirt and grime, and for his clothes? Philip shudders, feeling goosebumps travel along his arms and up his neck.
“I hate being dirty.” He repeats again, his face twisting uncomfortably, the stone snaking up to his throat. Caleb finally meets his gaze, the dark bags under his eyes distracting from the usual comfort of his gentle brown eyes. After a moment, Caleb cracks a weak smile, definitely not convincing but an effort.
“I know you hate being dirty.” Caleb smiles softly as he stands up, attempting to wipe some of the filth from Philip’s face. A noble attempt at comfort, if only Caleb’s own hands weren’t soaked in mud.
“If you knew I hated bein’ dirty, why'd you just smear mud on my face!” Philip squeals, stomping his foot into the mud, and vigorously wiping his face off with his sleeve. Caleb finally lets out a hearty laugh as it echoes off of the trees, a few birds turning their heads towards the commotion. Philip shoots Caleb a glare as his nose scrunches up, a large frown underneath it.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry !” Caleb laughs as he wipes his hands on his pants, a large smile spreading over his face reaching up to his eyes. A spark of life, a spark of joy, something that wasn’t despair. A small promise of a chance at hope.
“I’m sorry Pip! I was out of it, really, I’m sorry Philip.” Caleb sighs his smile shrinking back, as he looks towards Philip, cocking his head slightly to the side, his cowlick swaying gently with the movement.
Philip tilts his head, his blue eyes analyzing Caleb for a moment before he looks in the direction they had originally been marching towards. He turns his head back towards Caleb before reaching out his hand towards his brother. Caleb smiles softly and reciprocates firmly holding Philip’s hand as they start to walk once again.
─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───
As time passes they continue to march, legs aching and stomachs twisting in agony- begging for some semblance of fuel to keep going. Philip considers eating a branch just to please his stomach, upon mumbling the idea to Caleb half-heartedly. The older brother shoots the idea down with a weak sigh.
Then it comes into view, the sunset illuminating the buildings in shadow. Caleb feels his heart jump to his throat as he lets out an internal cry of joy, a smile spreading to his face as he almost collapses to the dirt.
Philip feels his heart jump to his throat, he nervously glances back at his brother pulling closer to his side digging his hands into the disgusting clumps of fabric. Fear clogging up his chest and traveling out through his skin as he sweats anxiously. Caleb glances down at him with a wide grin on his face before suddenly scooping up Philip and spinning him around with a loud laugh.
“We made it Pip! Oh thank God we made it!” Caleb beams hope, and it’s spilling out of the well of his chest. Philip doesn’t drink from it as he yelps squirming in Caleb’s grasp, his eyes pressed shut tightly. Caleb lets him back down gently onto the dirt floor as Philip’s chest rises and falls quickly, intaking as much air as his small lungs can handle.
As Philip calms down, a twinge of guilt overshadows Caleb’s excitement for a moment as he looks away noticing a townsperson staring at him. Their eyes lock onto each other and Caleb feels himself tense up as the air becomes stale, immediately pulling Philip tightly to his side. She had a large basket of clothes in her arms, and by all means she should have looked normal. But her face sat in such a way that make goosebumps crawl across your skin, make your heart plummet to your feet, make your mind howl at you to run or to fight .
But Caleb can’t do anything, her face conveys nothing, nothing not noticeable enough to discern, but enough to catch those off guard who might not understand such a stare. Caleb can’t help but stand up straighter, his concentration completely on the threat in front of him.
Philip can feel Caleb’s grip tighten as he lets out a quiet yelp as to get Caleb’s attention, his older brother snaps out of whatever standoff he was in with the women across from them, and looks down towards Philip.
“You’re crushing me.” Philip whispers quietly, his lips downturned and trembling, staring up at Caleb before looking back towards the woman; her petticoat flowing gently behind her as she makes her hasty escape from the situation. Caleb lessens his grip on Philip, not fully letting go of him.
“Sorry.” Caleb mumbles his attention snapping back to the woman, glaring her back down as if to get a point across, a threat. Philip stares up at him rolling his eyes before sighing heavily as he follows behind Caleb like a shadow, too afraid to let go of his shirt, even if it did mean it would make his hands have a filthy film on them, it was a semblance of safety. Something he couldn’t afford to lose, no matter what.
“Are you hungry?” Caleb asks as they walk, more of a conversation starter than him truly seeking an answer. Philip’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought of food. His mouth salivating as his eyebrows pinch together, trying to keep the hunger away. Philip nods, chewing on his lip. Caleb stops suddenly and looks around the town humming to himself before he feels Philip frantically tugging on his sleeve as the air turns to dangerous static.
“Philip what— ” Caleb huffs out in slight annoyance turning towards Philip only to see a large man glaring at him as if Caleb were the devil himself. Caleb takes in a sharp breath taking a step back nearly tripping over Philip who had moved behind his older brother to hide himself. Caleb whips his head back making sure Philip was alright, whose eyes seemed to be popping out of their sockets with fear, before hearing the older man’s boots crunch against the dirt, taking a few steps towards him. Caleb’s eyes widen before shielding Philip with one arm and plastering a fake smile across his face.
“Hello! I’m so sorry! We’re new here and uh - you see-” Caleb stutters out nervously, grasping for anything to de-escalate the tense situation as Philip grips the back of Caleb’s shirt tightly. Caleb shoots a sharp look back at him hoping to get across the message for Philip to let go.
“I know you’re new here. Who are you? Where are you from? What business do you bring to Gravesfield?” The older man grunts out with malice, straightforward and calloused, not seeming to even want an answer to the questions he had asked. Caleb feels sweat start to pool at the base of his neck as he shifts uncomfortably, the weight of Philip’s grip on his back still apparent and heavy.
A small crowd gathers around the two, the townspeople seeming ready to sink their teeth into the brother’s throats any moment. Caleb glances around at the different people around him, and they all have that same look .
Run.
Fight.
Do something.
Oh, please God do something.
DO SOMETHING.
“I’m Caleb Wittebane! This is my younger brother Philip Wittebane! We’re looking for a place to stay and maybe some… food ?” Caleb laughs nervously, his breathing shaky, the silence stings and digs uncomfortably into his skin. The static builds further, turning into a thunderous drum in his ears. He needs to do something.
“I promise we’re hard workers, I’ll do anything for work!” Caleb pleads looking towards the crowd for any reaction, for any sort of response. The crowd seems to shift slightly, drawing their attention to Philip.
“ Brothers ? You hardly look anything alike.” Someone hisses, and the rest of the crowd seems to murmur in agreement, whispers sparking up within the townsfolk. Caleb squints in frustration, the slight tug of Philip clinging to his back grounding him once again.
“We are brothers.” Caleb huffs firmly, narrowing his eyes and standing his ground. The people hum in disbelief, and a few scoff at the statement turning their noses upward, and wrinkling their lips into a snarl.
“We are hard workers looking for work, a place to lodge, and food.” Caleb states again in the same firm tone standing up straighter to the dismay of Philip trying to desperately cling to his shirt.
“We don’t know you, your word means nothing to us. How do we know what you speak is true?” The older man says gritting his teeth still towering over Caleb. Caleb’s mouth opens, and closes. He.. he doesn’t have an answer. His mind digs for any sort of proof, anything . He looks at all of the faces in the crowd glaring at him, his chest feels far too tight. His legs feel that they will melt into the dirt beneath him. He can already feel the fire against his skin, licking the skin off of his bones, and melting his eyes from his head.
The crowd parts as the murmurs and whispers come to a sudden halt.
“What’s all of this about?” A worn voice says, before locking eyes with Caleb. Caleb feels his posture immediately falter as he slouches down, lowering his head. The pastor’s dark robes draped over his shoulders, his hazel eyes a terrible imitation of safety. The pastor waits for a moment before looking around at the crowd making a gesture as to get someone to answer his question, his eyebrows arched and eyes widened with a slanted frown.
“Outsiders, they seem like trouble.” The man who had originally confronted Caleb states staring at the pastor, before turning his attention back to the two boys. Caleb feels a spark of anger light up in his chest as he sucks in a sharp breath ready to defend himself.
“Well, how can you prove that?” The pastor laughs letting a smile slip out as Caleb exhales the breath he had been holding in. He feels Philip tug shakily on his arm as he glances down towards him, his blue eyes full of terror.
”It's okay,” Caleb mouths to Philip quietly, but the expression doesn’t comfort Philip, his face set in stone. There’s no room to mess up here, he can’t mess up here. Caleb kicks Philip softly in the shins as Philip lets out a muffled squeak in response, and whips his attention to the pastor in front of them. The pastor lets out a chortle at the sibling’s antics, his long hair moving with the motion.
“How about you two join me in the church for a moment?” The Pastor asks, having already started walking towards the church. Caleb glances around at the crowd around him that had started to disperse as if nothing had occurred. The Pastor turns on his heel, the dirt stirring up around it as he narrows his eyes as a warning towards the two, a far cry from the light-hearted tone from just a moment before, Caleb meets his eyes and straightens his posture smacking Philip’s back. Philip yelps still slouching down as Caleb shoots him a sharp glare with narrowed eyes. His younger brother raises an eyebrow, his mouth slightly agape in confusion and Caleb rolls his eyes with a sharp exhale of breath from his chest in response.
“Oh it’s quite fine, he’s still somewhat young. I’m sure it’s a behaviour you can fix.” The pastor states seemingly towards Caleb. Caleb looks up towards the Pastor but his eyebrows pinch together confusedly as the pastor stares at Philip.
. . . is he. . . is he talking to me or Philip? Caleb asks himself as he glances towards Philip who looks just as confused as how Caleb feels, his blue eyes watching Caleb from the corner of his eyes as if trying to ask his older brother the same question.
no— he has to be talking to me right? Philip is obviously younger than myself. . . so why the hell is he staring at Philip? Was it sarcasm? I don’t understand. Caleb tries to shake the thoughts out of his head as Philip hides further behind Caleb from the unwanted attention. Caleb strides towards the pastor who is waiting at the steps of the looming church for them. The sun casting its dark shadows over the town.
The pastor holds the large wooden doors open for the two, a faint smile ingrained into his face most likely from years of practice from sermons. Caleb forces himself to reciprocate the gesture, an awkward, uncomfortable smile plastered on his face as he thanks the pastor quietly and enters the church.
The wood creaks underneath his feet and his footsteps echo off the undecorated walls, he takes in a deep breath through his nose, not even able to escape the smell of the earth while in such a holy place.
Philip watches his older brother attentively, opting not to make a peep and to stay quiet as he hugs his brother’s arm firmly, his face pressed up against it in an attempt to gain some form of comfort. He lets his eyes follow the abysmal design of the church, the pews neatly lined up in rows, the only thing worth to note is the pulpit at the far end of the church, with a lantern sitting in front of it. It flickers light throughout the room, casting shifting shadows along the walls. Philip tilts his head to the side as the shadows morph and grow into large monsters, gnashing and baring their fangs, sharp eyes, and large claws meant for tearing flesh from bone. So Philip diverts his eyes again, not that he was bothered by the shadows, he certainly doesn’t like the idea of man-eating monsters, but men ate other men as well. At least the monsters would have given the mercy of a quick death. His eyes lead him along the wall to the window, he imagines how the sun would cast its rays across the floor and the warmth it would bring. He imagines himself sitting in the pews as the rays kissing his skin with comfort, running its fingers through his hair while humming to him softly.
And he’s brought back to reality, by the slam of a heavy door and the creak of the floorboards from leather shoes.
And reality is just as uncomfortable as before, just as painful . The air feels like a snake coiling up against him, its scales making sharp incisions across his skin.
Everything is far too real for his own liking, he wants to go back to imagined monsters.
To the thought of a life that isn't his own .
He pushes himself further into Caleb’s side, wishing to be embraced. His clueless brother doesn’t get the message though, as Caleb turns to the pastor keeping a gentle smile on his face as to stay polite and friendly. The pastor gestures his hand in a way Philip can’t quite understand, an unspoken message,
a question?
a command, an order?
an invitation?
Whatever the case, Caleb understands, and Caleb is always right. So Caleb follows behind the pastor, Philip right by his side. The floors creak and groan and echo off the walls painfully, far too loud for the small boy who lets out a shaky breath to convey his own discomfort. The older man leads them up to the pulpit as he bends down, taking hold of the lantern before swiveling around to face the two children in front of himself.
“Where do you come from?” The pastor asks softly, almost able to conceal his suspicion as he stares at the two of them.
“It does not matter from where we come, we’re here to start a new life.” Caleb answers almost immediately, masking his anxiety with an impressive display of confidence as he tightens his resolve. The pastor hums as he closes his eyes for a moment in deep thought, the deafening sound of the lantern’s candles licking up oxygen filling up the room.
“I suppose that is.. an argument, you are quite young, have you parents?” The pastor questions, raising his head higher before cocking it to the side slightly as to accentuate his question and concern.
“We do not have any parents, I promise we aren’t here to cause trouble.” Caleb speaks humbly, lowering his head for a moment in shame. When he brings his head back up to look at the pastor, he doesn’t meet his eyes. While the pastor is facing towards him, his hazel eyes are concentrated onto Philip. Caleb clears his throat awkwardly as the pastor turns his attention back to him.
“I know it’s much to ask for, but we’re exhausted and starving, I promise that we’ll pay you back-” Caleb starts to plead, desperation bleeding through his voice. The pastor gives no reaction, he simply stares at Caleb, narrowing his eyes slightly, before sighing.
“I have no room here for you, I’d suggest asking others around town.” The pastor sighs, an artificial sadness washing over his expression as he frowns, his eyes drifting back over to Philip. The younger brother shivers as a chill washes over him, his eyebrows moving closer together as his face unable to conceal his confusion and unease.
“Please father, it’s already quite late and we need somewhere to stay.” Caleb begs, his voice panicking as he takes sharp, agonizing intakes of air. The pastor’s expression does not falter, his eyes don’t drift back to Caleb. The eldest waits in silence, gritting his teeth as Philip grips his arm tightly as he forces himself under Caleb’s arm, and against his side. Caleb can’t help but to feel frustration at the behavior, a large frown forcing itself upon his face, but when he finally glances towards Philip his heart sinks.
His brother’s eyes are glued to Caleb’s side, trying to avoid the gaze of the older man, clutching onto Caleb’s arm so tightly the skin on his knuckles white.
“That’s quite… unfortunate.” The pastor states flatly and distantly, before closing his eyes for a moment, opening them afterwards and finally looking back towards the representative of the two. Caleb tenses uncomfortably, biting his cheek trying not to divert his eyes away from the pastor’s.
“I’d like to talk with your younger brother privately .” The pastor states monotonously, and just like that Caleb’s eyes widen and his gut churns, bile rising up into his throat. He can feel a tremble travel through Philip’s small frame only causing him further distress. Caleb’s mind runs for any answer , for a solution , for a reason .
“No.” Caleb snaps back harshly, taking a step back as he pulls Philip behind himself, he blinks a couple of times in shock of what he had just done letting out an unsteady breath. The pastor frowns and narrows his eyes in disapproval as he straightens his posture, towering above the two young boys.
“It’s getting late, me and my brother still need to find a place to stay. I know you probably must have duties to attend to as well, goodnight Father.” Caleb quickly spits out trying to backtrack from his original disrespect, he takes another step back and bowing his head slightly before hoisting Philip up into his arms, speeding towards the exit of the church, his boots echoing thunderously. Philip throws his arms around Caleb’s neck about to bury his face into his brother’s shoulder, but his hair stands on end and he shivers. He glances up locking eyes with the pastor, who seemed unimpressed with the display, an uninterested and somewhat irritated expression laid upon his face. Once he meets Philip’s eyes his face tightens, the features pressing together as if trying to figure something out. Caleb reaches towards the door with his hand, holding Philip up with the other firmly, before the door swings open carelessly by the man who had confronted them earlier. He shoves past Caleb, nearly knocking the poor boy off of his feet, rushing towards the pastor. An urgent conversation starting to take place between the two older men as Caleb scoffs in annoyance, stepping through the doorway.
“We found her father, the men-”
Philip sits up straighter in Caleb’s arms as if it would make him eavesdrop better, but the conversation trickles off out of his perception as the church door slams shut behind them. He feels Caleb let out a heavy sigh, a combination of exhaustion and genuine frustration as he stands outside the church. The cold wind whips around the two of them as Philip curls in instinctively closer to his caretaker, shoving his face into Caleb’s shoulder.
“I’m hungry, Caleb.” Philip whines, another quiver running its course through his body as Caleb starts to walk towards the outskirts of town to find some sort of solace away from any prying eyes.
“I know.” Caleb snaps back annoyedly, a scowl slithering onto his face. Philip winces at the tone, a whimper breaking out of him as his stomach cries for food. Caleb mumbles incoherently to himself as he reaches the edge of town, setting Philip down, taking a deep breath, and rearing his leg back. He kicks into the dirt gritting his teeth angrily, waving his arms around comparable to a toddler throwing a tantrum. Philip watches nervously as he sits down on the dirt, bringing his knees close to his chest to keep the cold away. Caleb reaches up to his head, bawling his hands into fists as he hits himself with his knuckles. Philip watches him for a moment before turning his attention away towards the town, it was better this way, when Caleb got like this everyone just had to leave him be. It was the best course of action. He watches as people gather in the center, setting something up. He narrows his eyes before hearing Caleb walk towards him, Philip looks up as Caleb sits down next to him causing the dirt to stir up into the air. They sit in silence for a moment before Caleb leans onto Philip, resting his head atop of his younger brother’s. Philip wraps his arms around Caleb trying his best to comfort him, as the eldest trembles with tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.
“Pip, I need… I need you to understand something very important please .” Caleb states his voice unconfident and hopeless, Philip doesn’t express his concern, he doesn’t feel anything, the cold air must be making him numb, yes that must be what it is. They’ve done this song and dance before, well, maybe not this exact song, but he knows the tune. He knows enough of it to dance along. Philip hums in acknowledgement as Caleb pushes himself away from Philip gently, staring into his eyes gently, a hint of resentment behind them.
“I need you to try here, Philip. I need you to be polite , to fit in . I need you to show these people that we won't be a burden , that we’re useful .” Caleb speaks through gritted teeth, trying not to explode towards Philip for his… rude behavior from earlier. He can’t afford to mess up, he can’t . Philip listens as he watches Caleb’s face, tracking each eye twitch of frustration and implied frown. After a moment he looks down towards the dirt, his eyebrows pinched together in confusion. The icy breeze blows through his hair as he thinks.
Can’t they see we’re useful?
I don’t believe I did anything wrong.
Did I embarrass Caleb?
I’m hungry.
Am I even useful?
They’re going to find out
I’m cold.
They’re going to find out.
They’re going to find out-
Philip’s mind starts to race before he hears a frustrated huff from Caleb as his older brother stands up throwing his hands up into the air, his expression twisted into fury.
“Philip! Were you even listening?! Can I please get a yes or a no? I feel like I’m the only one trying to make things work here!!!” Caleb yells angrily as he closes his eyes taking in sharp breaths to try and soothe himself, Philip shrinks back as he looks back up towards Caleb again. His eyes drag back over to the town, the familiar flickering of fire catching his eye. He shoots up quickly, taking a curious step towards the town.
“Caleb.” Philip calls to his brother in a hushed tone keeping his eyes locked to the town, as the townspeople raise pitchforks and large torches.
“What Philip…” Caleb growls out as he pinches the bridge of his nose, turning towards Philip and following his gaze, his anger immediately fading as he stares at the town. He walks up to Philip taking his small hand in his own, he looks back down at Philip trying to read his expression. He hated himself for being so awful at knowing how Philip felt, his face unreadable to even his own brother. He could always make an educated guess, narrowed eyes and pinched eyebrows, mad? Concerned? Curious ? It was always too difficult to tell with him, he shakes his head and gives Philip’s hand a gentle tug as he marches towards town. As they approach he can feel Philip’s grip tighten a small hum emitting from the younger boy as he picks up his pace.
“Philip—!” Caleb whisper-shouts, squeezing Philip’s hand tighter trying to keep him close. Philip finally takes a break from staring ahead of him at glances up towards Caleb squinting his eyes. So Caleb squints his eyes back towards Philip, his lip settling into a firm line.
“Don’t run off, you know better than that.” Caleb grumbles in a strict tone, placing his other hand on his hip, keeping his eyes narrowed trying to really hammer it into his younger brother.
“I didn’t even run off!” Philip squeaks back as he frowns shamefully, his wide blue eyes finally darting back over to the town as screams ring out through the air. Philip feels himself jolt upright and his heart thud against his ribcage before his hand slips from Caleb’s grasp, bolting towards the crowd in the town’s center.
“PHILIP!” Caleb calls out in terror, anxiety rattling throughout his whole body as he chases after him. He nearly trips over his own feet, his legs aching from the days prior of trekking through the forest. His knees want to give in, his lungs want to pop and his heart wants to burst. Everything hurts—how the hell does Philip have enough energy to run that quickly. He finally catches up to his mischievous brother, grabbing his arm so tightly the skin around it turns a ghostly white, his nails digging into his arm.
“What are you doing?! What did I just say Philip!” Caleb hisses under his breath staring at his younger brother. Philip lets out a quick yelp, attempting to pull his arm back to himself but just as soon as he had reacted his attention was turned back to the event unfolding in front of them. Philip and Caleb stood at the back of the crowd of snarling townsfolk, sitting at the front of the crowd is a large stake, ropes ensnaring a woman with blonde hair and brown eyes in a dirty, ragged, dress to it. Her expression is indifferent, having the audacity to roll her eyes, accompanied by a dramatic sigh. Philip can see her dirtied face, streaks of clear skin from crying, her lips quivering in fear. It’s difficult to tell if her chest shakes due to fear, or the ropes binding her. Philip stares at her just for a moment more, as the pastor recites something he doesn’t quite catch, he moves his attention to the crowd. Some have pure hatred in their eyes, others are just as expressionless as himself. There are other children here, some younger, some older, some his age. How odd , Philip takes note of the other children in the crowd, not that he’d ever been interested in engaging with other children, but anybody can be considered a threat. Even other children.
“I truly, oh and I mean truly. I truly despise you Hopkins .” The restrained woman grumbles, obviously trying to appear confident and in control, but her voice shakes and trembles, her brown eyes shiny with threatened tears. The pastor glances towards her, and the two share a look, not a pleasant one. God no , not even a mutual expression. Philip leans his head forward trying to decipher the look before the pastor takes a torch gently from one of the townsfolk. The static in the air from before makes an entrance, the whole crowd seems to be more eager than before. Philip thinks he’s gone deaf, or maybe has gained the ability to stop time for just a moment, just a mere second , before horrible, shrill screams of agony drill into his head like a sharp whistle bringing him back to the present. He jumps back unexpectedly, his eyes widening as the fire reflected in them soars. The townspeople lunge back to life, jeering and throwing their fists into the air. He can’t process it, he can’t hear what they’re saying . It’s all melting together, Philip’s face remains indifferent but his blood is pooling to his feet leaving him more pale than before. Philip can imagine himself up there, tied to the pyre. His skin cooking as he screams for help-
Oh.
Oh.
The smell. That smell, Philip feels the bile rise in his throat, he quickly turns towards where his brother was once standing only to spot him a few paces away dry heaving.
Don’t think about it
If you don’t think about it, then it’s not real
Don’t think about it
His mouth waters as he covers his mouth, he grits his teeth and stares head on at the fire. He tries to not breathe in too deeply as to avoid the horrid smell filling the air,
Don’t you dare think about it
Had to
Don’t think about it
Had to
Not real
Not real
It wasn’t real.
Philip squeezes his eyes shut, and when he opens them, he feels fine again. The hole in his chest providing a predatory comfort against his own thoughts, he scans the crowd, his eyes widening as he catches the gaze of the pastor. Was he looking at Philip? Maybe past him? No. No , he was definitely looking at Philip, watching him. Philip should feel scared, terrified, but he feels a small drop of anger fill the hole in his chest.
What is his problem?
Philip thinks furiously to himself, he peeks back over his shoulder towards Caleb, who was still hacking up stomach bile from the smell wafting around in the air. He considers it for a moment, going over to Caleb for comfort.
”I need you to show these people that we won't be a burden, that we’re useful.”
He drags his eyes back over to the pastor, his feet deciding for him before his own mind did. He weasels his way through the crowd of rowdy civilians, constantly getting bumped as they shriek and pick up stones to pelt at the already deceased girl woman. He grumbles each time he is pushed and shoved into another person. They do not even seem to see him, if they did he couldn’t bring it to himself to care. He exits the crowd, shaking himself off frustratedly, he looks up at the pastor who is smirking at him. Philip feels his face contort his displeasure being apparent, he steps towards the pastor before he’s standing right next to his side. He glances towards the raging fire for a moment as he and the pastor stand in silence. Well as silent as it can get with a mob of people screaming in your ear.
“You wanted to talk with me privately earlier. Why?” Philip asks as he finally looks back up at Hopkins, his appearance remaining mildly annoyed. The pastor turns back to him with a gentle smile before placing a hand on Philip’s shoulder. The younger boy tenses up as an uncomfortable expression takes hold, staring at the hand on his shoulder wanting to swipe it off.
“I like your spirit child, and I truly see potential within you.” The pastor hums with a smile, gripping Philip’s shoulder gently. Philip feels his heart sink, and rise back up again within a moment. Confusion and… hope taking hold of him as he gazes upon the fire.
“Potential?” Philip asks quietly, glancing back up towards the older man then back towards Caleb, accidentally letting the desperation for approval in his voice seep through. The pastor’s smile grows further creating small wrinkles at the corners of his eyes as he leans down slightly.
“Yes, Potential. I see great potential for you to become a witch hunter, of course you would be my apprentice.” Hopkins grins, his teeth reflecting the light of the fire off of them as he digs his nails into Philip’s shoulder. His blue eyes lock back onto the pastor again startled at how close he had just gotten, jumping slightly. A quiet yelp escapes his throat and dread makes itself a nest in his stomach once again. He bites his lip uncomfortably as he shifts uncomfortably between his two feet fiddling with his hands, looking away from Hopkins towards the fire trying not to maintain eye contact with the intimidating older man. The Pastor’s wide grin falters for a moment as he reads Philip’s expression, the fire’s crackling and the shouting alongside it filling the silence between the two.
“I don’t tend to give this offer to just anyone. The apprenticeship isn’t without its benefits as well.” The pastor smiles gently as Philip uneasily meets his gaze again. Philip doesn’t answer for a moment, glancing momentarily over at his brother who was looking around frantically.
“I’ll… I’ll have to decline your offer and talk with my brother first about it.” Philip states unconfidently, unsure in his answer, still shifting his weight between his two feet. The pastor frowns as he narrows his eyes, his hand still planted firmly on Philip’s shoulder. After a moment he sighs and nods in an understanding manner.
“Of course, it’s an important decision to make and you shouldn’t make decisions hastily. If you ever change your mind, just come find me.” Hopkins sighs disappointedly and dramatically as Philip nods nervously before he runs back into the crowd. He squirms his way through it before popping back out onto the other side bolting towards Caleb. He shouts his name as Caleb whips his entire body around in a wild panic, tears almost spilling out from his eyes as he bolts towards Philip scooping him up into his arms tightly.
“Where were you, Philip!?” Caleb sniffles angrily, flicking Philip harshly on the head as Philip yelps loudly, squeezing his eyes shut in retaliation, keeping his lips pressed shut in a firm line. Caleb huffs out a large breath of air sharply in annoyance before he hugs Philip tightly, pressing his chin to the top of Philip’s head.
“Please don’t do that to me.” Caleb shakily begs, rubbing the back of Philip’s head gently with his thumb. Shame pours out of the hole placed in Philip’s chest as he trembles, hugging Caleb back tightly.
“M’ sorry.” Philip apologizes back quietly as the two stay in each other's embrace for a moment. Caleb stands back up slowly from where he had squatted, bringing the younger up with him. He looks around and sighs tiredly, before marching towards the edge of town. The cold wind whipping their hair around and freezing their skin, Philip feels as if he’s going to turn to ice. He brings his head up from Caleb’s chest and looks around slowly, his eyelids heavy and his eyes sore. His head wobbles as he fights to stay awake, starting to shiver violently, missing the warmth of the fire. Caleb lets out a sad hum before he sits down against a tree setting Philip into his lap, he opens the satchel he had been carrying taking out a neatly folded, dark, navy blue coat. He throws the heavy coat around Philip and partially himself, he holds the younger protectively in his arms trying to shield him from the cold.
Philip feels his eyes flutter to a close as he presses his ear into Caleb’s chest, the trees leaves rattling in the icy wind softly, as owls hoot and crickets chirp softly. The smell of the earth and mud would be of comfort, but the smell of burning flesh and the feeling of static upon the skin assault the senses.
He dreams of monsters.
With long claws for ripping skin.
And melted flesh.
It slithers among the shadows luring lost children into its palms.
A monster whose eyes are filled with such hate it can’t possibly be human.
It looks like the townspeople, it looks human .
But Philip knows that's not why he’s scared of it.
He’s scared because it looks like him .