Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 2024.

Hayley was lying in her bed in complete silence, except for the sounds of pouring rain from outside and the sounds of Alf snoring next to her. All she could think about was her friend, Emily Armstrong. Her smile, her bleach blonde hair, her grey eyes, her voice, her laugh, the tiny bumps on her forehead. Everything about her was perfect to her.

The two have been best friends for a long time. They met at a bar in 2011, when Dead Sara was performing there. Though Hayley had never had feelings for Emily until about 8 years into their friendship, at first, she tried to push these feelings away, but she just couldn't help it. Every time she's around Emily, her heart flutters. In her eyes, Emily is the most beautiful, funny, sweet, and perfect girl she has ever met.  Five years later, Hayley still has these feelings for Emily. She's wanted to tell her about them for the longest time, but for many reasons, she could not confess her love for her. Emily had broken up with someone not too long ago, but Hayley still wanted to give her space.

Hayley sighed as she rolled over, “Will she ever like me in that way?” she asked herself. “And if I tell her about my feelings, would she feel the same? And if not, would she still like me afterwards?” Suddenly, she heard her phone ring. She picked up the phone from her nightstand. It was Emily. She felt her heart beating faster, she was used to this happening by now.

"Okay, Hayley, don't freak out, just hit answer. She's not gonna know about your feelings unless you tell her."

She took a deep breath and hit “answer.”

“Hello?”

“Hey, hayball, are you busy?”

“No, not really…”

“Me neither, I'm kinda bored, I just wanted to talk to someone. How have things been for you lately?”

“They've been good, I'm excited for the release of the burning down the house cover.”

“Me too, you showed me it, it was amazing!”

“t-thank you..”

“You know, I've been working on something too, with a few people, I'm excited for it, but also nervous out of my fucking mind about it.”

“Really? What is it?”

“It's uh… uhm… shit… it's a secret for now…”

“Well, whatever it is, I'm also excited for it! Sounds pretty big if it's a secret, usually you'd tell me about stuff like this.”

“Yeah… it is….”  “oh shit… I gave too much information about it, didn't I? She knows I'm friends with Linkin Park, she's gonna know. Fuck, why do i have to trust her so much? Do i..? No. No I don't.

“You good, Em?”

“Oh, yeah, I was just thinking..’ “Oh she's definitely gonna know now. Way to go, Emily.”

“Uhh, so how’s Alf been?”

“He's doing good, he's just napping next to me.”

“Awww.”

“he was really playful earlier, I guess all of that playtime tuckered him out.”

“He’s so adorable.”

“I know.”

“So uh, do you want to grab a coffee or something tomorrow?”

“Uhm, sure! Not busy tomorrow anyway.” holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck.

“Same place we always go to get coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Does 12 pm work for you?”

“y-yeah.”

“Or is 1 pm better?”

“Yeah. That-that also works.”

“Are you okay? You sound off.”

“y-yeah im fine. uhm…”

“So, do you want to go at 12 or 1?”

“I guess 12 is fine.”

“Alright then 12 it is! I guess I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully you're not late again.”

“c'mon Em, you know me, of course I'm always centuries late to stuff.”

They both giggled.

“See you tomorrow, Em.”

“See you too, Hayley.”

Em hung up, and the call ended.

it was silent for a bit, the sounds of rain were still heard, but died down a bit.

“I'm used to being asked to hang out by her, why did I panic this time?” she asked herself.

She looked over and noticed Alf had woken up.

“Hey buddy,” she said as she rubbed his ear.

Alf started wagging his tail, and he then started to lick Hayley's face.

“Oh, Alf, what will I ever do without you?” she said, snuggling next to him.

Should I just confess to her tomorrow? No, I can't. She's not showing signs of liking me back. Or is she? Am I just blind? Oh god, am I too weird about her? Well, I guess I'll worry about this tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Hayley didn't get much sleep that night; all that was on her mind was Emily—picturing being held in her arms and having her fingers run through her hair. “God, what the hell am I thinking? Why am I fantasizing about my friend?” she thought. After a few hours of lying in bed, she slowly started to fall asleep to the sounds of rain from the window. If only she had fallen asleep in that beautiful blonde girl’s arms.

The next morning, Hayley woke up at 11:45, realizing that she had missed her alarm.

“Oh shit,” she said as she rushed out of bed. Quickly getting dressed and everything else she needed to do to get ready. The next thing she knew, it was 12:15. “Oh god, I’m late again,” she said under her breath. She opened her phone to see a text from Emily 5 minutes ago.

Emily <3: Girl, where are you?

You: Sorry! Overslept again :(

Emily <3: Again? lol, it's okay, take your time.

She quickly put on her shoes. “Alf! Do you want to go for a walk?” she called.

Alf came running into the room, wagging his tail. he always loves walks. “Awww, aren't you excited?” cooed Hayley, as she attached the leash to Alf’s collar. She and Alf then walked out the door, making their way to the coffee shop.

Meanwhile, Emily was waiting for Hayley at one of the outside tables. She had already ordered the coffees for her and Hayley. From a distance, she started to see Hayley walking over with Alf. Emily waved to her with a smile, she waved back.

“Hi Emily!” said Hayley as she sat down next to Emily.

“What's up, Hayball?”

“Nothing much, didn't get much sleep last night and overslept.”

“Ah, so that's why you were late again.” Emily’s voice lowered, “Something was keeping you up?”

“Uh… no… just one of those shitty nights you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“How are you doing, Alf?” Emily cooed as she started petting Alf. Alf started wagging his tail, he loved the girl that Hayley always hung out with.

“How have you been, Em?” Hayley asked.

“Things have been going pretty great! I mean, especially with recording- fuck.

“What?”

“Nothing, secret.” “god damn it Emily you did it again.” 

Despite being the person whom Emily trusted the most, this secret felt so big that she couldn't even tell Hayley.

“Should i tell her now?” Hayley thought. “No, i can’t, i don’t think this is the right time.”

“You look pretty today,” Emily said with a smile, breaking the silence between her and Hayley.

Hayley blushed, “Oh, thank you…” she said nervously. “You do to…”

They both stared at each other in comfortable silence, admiring every little detail of each other.

“Uhm, we should probably drink our coffees now before they get cold,” Hayley said as she turned her head away in embarrassment.

“Yeah…” said Emily as she sipped her coffee. “Maybe i do really like her, i mean, what is there not ot like about that… beautiful, talented, kind, smart, and funny woman… oh fuck.”

“You good, Em?” Hayley asked, pulling Emily out of her thoughts.

“Yeah,” Emily replied. “Just, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Uhm, nothing… don’t worry about it.”

They continued to talk for the next hour, some conversations going deeper than others. Before it was time for them to leave. 

“Well, I should probably get going now.” said Hayley as she got up from the chair.

“Yeah,” said Emily. “I should probably get going too.”

“It was fun hanging out again. Talk later?” asked Hayley.

“Yeah, see you later, Hayleygator!”

“In a while, Emidile!” Hayley replied, heading back to her house with Alf.

~~~~~~~~

Emily got back home to her apartment and plopped on the couch.

“God damn it. I have feelings for Hayley, don't I?” she muffled into one of the pillows. She lifted her head and opened her phone, She scrolled through the pictures of her and Hayley. “Oh my god, she's so gorgeous.” she thought to herself. Every time she thought about Hayley, she felt her heart flutter. She’s definitely in love with her, she can’t deny it anymore.