Work Text:
To think it all started because she wished to live.
Yes, that was when everything started to spiral, wasn't it ?
Nene screamed with no second thought, at the top of her lungs, that she didn’t want to die, that she wanted to live for a long time — up to a hundred years old even.
She didn't think twice about it. She expressed what was on her heart at the time, hoping to stop Hanako-kun in all his madness. It worked, and she thought all of it was behind them.
That stupid Hanako-kun took her words to heart.
He went ahead and crafted a meticulous plan, and he went as far as sacrificing her best friend. He swapped their lifespans, and even erased her from the world. He then had to disappear, along with her, along with every supernatural across the border, and she was destined to forget her, along with him, along with everything they lived together.
That plan was unfair and it was insulting to expect Nene to go along with it. Yet he considered it, executed it, and almost succeeded. If it wasn't for Akane-kun’s strong opposition, she might have just caved in under Minamoto-senpai’s strong and stern refusal. Nene thought it was an unfair plan. But to whose advantage was it ? Could it be said “unfair” if it was to her benefit ? Yes ! It absolutely was ! Not only to herself, but to Aoi, who had to get her life taken away ! It was totally selfish and unfair, even when he meant to do well, even when he had her best interest in mind !
Nene did not approve of Hanako-kun’s methods. She believed that if he had just talked to her, talked to Kou-kun, talked to Akane-kun — heck, even Minamoto-senpai if absolutely necessary — they could have found a better, easier, safer and less selfish alternative.
But maybe it was foolish to believe it.
Maybe Hanako-kun weighed all the options, and he saw…no, he knew it was the only way.
Maybe he even thought of rewinding time.
But no one could defy the Clock Keepers and get away with it. Not even the Leader of the Seven Mysteries.
Tsukasa-kun tried and the world got reset.
The reality they knew faded from everyone's mind. Things changed. People changed. Those who were dead were alive again. It looked like a perfect world. But the cause of the reset was still lingering. He was still powerful. He was still an evil spirit. He could still harm the new found peace they just gained. They had to get rid of him…
Nene wished it was unnecessary . But if it could ease their minds and let them enjoy the new world, she could not bring herself to go against their wish.
And in trying to change things again, Aoi traded her life again. She lost her life… And so did Akane-kun, Kou-kun, Mitsuba-kun, and Minamoto-senpai. At the hands of Hanako-kun. The very same person who wanted her to live.
Maybe in the old world, he wanted Nene to live for him. It was a selfish cause disguised as care.
“Isn't this the happiness you wished for?”
Was it ? Did she really wish for everyone to be happy? Then…why were they dead ? What did they die for ? Her happiness?
Maybe it was foolish to think everyone could be happy. Maybe it was foolish to think everything could be fine.
So then, why did she keep on going ? Why did she run when Akane-kun told her to run, and why did she run without looking back, without stopping ?
Why did she carry on even when she knew that every odd was against her ?
Why hold on to even the faintest glimmer of hope, the slimmest possibility of achieving the impossible ?
“I can't give up now. I have to keep going !” she repeated herself over and over on the way to Kamome, without bothering to dry her tears. Nene thought she had no choice. But she could have chosen to say no, chosen to stay and fight against the spirit of the Red House. She could've chosen to resign. She had a choice. But where most would have given up, she chose to march foward. No obstacle was grand enough to halt her resolve… yes, Yashiro Nene didn't acknowledge this about herself, but she was the most courageous soul she would have the chance of meeting in her lifetime.
The incertainty of everything couldn't stop her. She was faced with darkness and mystery, but she didn't back down. Was she scared ? Of course ! She was scared out of her mind ! The wintery scenery of the Clock Keepers’ boundary was not the only thing that kept her trembling ! She wanted to collapse on the ground and cry again, just like she did when she saw Tsuchigomori-sensei. But after she had done it, nothing changed, the world around her was still the one she didn’t wish for. Her tears had no power. She had no one left by her side to push her, no one to look in the eye and nod along to “it'll be okay”. She didn't even know where she would be heading, what she should do, how it would go, or if she would be able to do it…but she couldn't stop.
Maybe it was foolish to try and save the world. But Foolishness never stopped Nene before. Not even when she got dumped by an obnoxious, pretentious & self-absorbed boyfriend and summoned a ghost in the girl's bathroom in order to curse him. The ghost could have harmed her, even kill her, yet none of that stopped her. She was a girl that lived by the phrasing of not knowing until one tries. She knew what she wanted back then, and she knows what she wants now.
Nene was anything but a coward. She was afraid, shaken by fear, but her legs never stopped moving, and the fire in her heart kept growing stronger with everystep.
She was a fool. A fool with tremendous courage, who'd do anything she can to get what she desires. Giving up simply wasn't an option.
With no one to hold her up to stand, she had to pick herself up from the ground. With no one to reassure her, she had to praise herself with her past experiences. With no one to guide her, she had to make every decision on her own accord. And with no one to gently call her name…
“You won't help me, huh ?! Fine, then, I'll do it myself!”
…she had to rewind time and save the ones who would.