Work Text:
Clown did not expect to find a home in a place called The Kingdom of Fools.
The name itself felt counterproductive, like some type of joke that would only make people see them as a mockery of royalty. He didn't want to be seen as someone less than, as someone who was only a part of some sort of humorous attempt of a Kingdom. But at the same time, once he stepped foot onto the Kingdom grounds, it almost felt as if that was the point.
To be referred to as a fool, but to also be part of a Kingdom that was built from the ground up, it added layers to the name that one would never think of. The name felt like it was meant to lead people astray, to make outsiders believe that all they had were a few people and a dream. So while power was one thing, and while it was something Clown preferred, he knew being underestimated was an advantage on its own.
And as a jester, being in a Kingdom that referred to themselves as fools felt like fate.
Still, even if it sounded like fate guided him to these very gates, for a while, he was weary.
Throughout his life, and throughout all the realms he traveled, he learned that alliances and teams were surprisingly fragile. For all that it took, it was hard for him to truly rely on them. Alliances were difficult to build. They took plenty of time and effort. They needed constant reassurance, an overwhelming level of trust, and way too many resources that Clown was willing to give.
At times, it drained him. And sometimes, it just got to the point where it was no longer worth it.
There was always a risk to trust. A danger to opening up and letting people in. Even if the team solidified, even if he let people in and allowed them to engrave their presence in his heart, all it took was one mishap for all of it to crumble.
He was a part of many stories of betrayals.
Yet as much as he wanted to put the blame on everyone else, he knew he had to admit that he lived on both sides of those tragedies.
He lived the life of one who lied in the shattered glass, shards of betrayal puncturing his skin as he stared at whatever remained. He’d be left with no choice but to build himself up from the rubble and tend to his wounds all on his own. He’d have to then move on, act as if the people meant nothing to him and live on with part of him missing.
He also lived the life of the one who pulled the trigger. The one who spilled the blood and broke the trust. That was when he was the one who tore apart the beautiful team that was built. He'd watch as everything erupted into flames, hiding behind his mask as the people he once loved attempted to cut off his head while they cursed his name.
Every time people reached out to him, and every time he found himself at the doorstep of a newly established team, he’d wonder which type of person he’d end up being.
The one who ended up hurt or the one who harmed.
Because to him, those were the only two options. At least in the realms he had lived in.
When it came to monarchy, it was a slippery slope. He could easily see himself being the betrayed and the betrayer.
There was a world where he took over. A world where he'd enjoy his stay. There was even a world where they somehow betrayed him. Where they stripped him of his dignity and left him like he was nothing. From all his experiences, he couldn’t leave a single possibility out.
So as he shook the king’s hand, listening to all the titles the king was considering giving him, he thought about just how good his clothes would go with a knife in his back.
>>> ──────── .✦➤
When he learned that the king's name was Foolish, the name of the Kingdom suddenly made sense. It was oddly clever. Once more proving that the name was certainly intentional. Fools who ruled under the name of Foolish. The jokes practically wrote themselves.
To his shock, everyone in the Kingdom was extremely welcoming. The moment he joined, people were already eager to get to know him. He didn’t really know what to say, but the moment each member introduced themself to him, he soon found himself smiling along to whatever they had to say.
He thought it would take a bit more time to warm up to the place. They all were still a bunch of strangers to him after all. And with how paranoid he tended to be, he was preparing to remain on guard for quite some time.
But then he got to know Ros, the royal architect of the Kingdom. A founding member. One who had been by the king’s side since the very beginning.
He never thought he would see such pure kindness from a person in his life.
She talked to him whenever she saw him on his own, giving him company even when he admittedly didn't want it. He didn’t mind, though. Not when it was Ros.
No matter the time of day, Ros always seemed ecstatic to see him. She would rush over to him, eyes bright along with her smile as she asked him how he was doing.
Each time they spoke, Clown found himself opening up more.
The answers to her questions got longer, more detailed. If the excitement on her face told him anything, then she certainly noticed it, too. He even found himself asking if she wanted to tag along with his plans. To his surprise, she was always willing to.
They spent nearly every day together because of it.
And whenever they parted ways, she always wished him a good day. Or as she would specifically phrase it: A day full of joy and whimsy.
It didn't take long until he found himself trusting her with everything.
When things got too much, he confided in her. Because whenever she was around, he knew he could relax. There was something about her presence that put him at ease. He allowed himself to let his guard down. Just a little. So with the way she spoke about everyone else in the Kingdom, promising that they were just as kind, he couldn't help but believe her words.
Like some sort of trust fall, he blindly believed that those in the Kingdom were just as sweet as her. From what he had seen, he was inclined to believe it. Even if there was another jester who wandered the halls that made his suspicions raise.
Then there was Sneeg. The blacksmith of the Kingdom. He wasn't sure when Sneeg joined - whether it was before or after him. It was mostly a blur by now. But there was something about Sneeg's energy, his ability to joke around yet still remain cautious of his surroundings that intrigued him.
He had a very interesting attitude when it came to certain things. He was blunt, straightforward, yet he managed to find a way to be reassuring on top of it all. It took a bit to learn the way Sneeg talked. He liked to joke that it was some sort of unique language. But once he understood it, Sneeg became one of the easiest people to talk to.
He didn't think he could find someone that could match his energy so well. He had a very specific type of humor. If those who didn’t get it witnessed it, they would simply think Sneeg was mean. While he did like to joke that way, Clown knew that all of those words bled with irony and sarcasm. And as Sneeg began to grow more powerful, matching a level of strength and skill that Clown liked to think he had, he dared to say that they were basically partners in crime.
Whenever he needed something, he went to Sneeg. To be honest, it was something he ended up surprising himself with. Because he was far from the person to ask for help. He tended to do things on his own. As a matter of fact, he actually preferred it.
But Sneeg was always willing to drag him along any of his shenanigans. Whether it be building another machine, hunting down people who wronged them, or simply making him the butt end of every single one of his jokes. Like he and Ros, he and Sneeg did everything together.
He wouldn’t want it any other way, though.
Because thanks to those two, he found himself viewing The Kingdom of Fools as his home.
However, there was still a mystery in the Kingdom.
And funnily enough, that mystery was the king himself.
For the longest time, it felt like he knew nothing about the king. There was something about him that felt impossible to understand. His humor. His attitude. Just the way he presented himself. There was something about him that felt like a singular lifetime would be unable to explain.
Like himself, it felt like his king had lived in many different realms. There was that knowledge, that skill of being able to read everything exceptionally well, as well as that slight desensitization, that lack of serious urgency that felt like Foolish had seen everything play out before.
No matter what, Foolish always found a way to surprise him. Whether it be what he said, how he reacted to something, or how he resolved a conflict, there was always something about him that no one was able to fully understand. It was unique. Maybe even slightly strange. He wanted to study him. To learn more about him. To figure out all that was going on in his king's head.
So if he ended up staring at him more and more, he just hoped his liege didn't find it off-putting.
Though for some reason, Foolish always returned those stares. With the smile that would follow nearly every single time, it was like he was almost encouraging it.
There was something that Clown had been hung up on even before he joined the Kingdom of Fools. It was the fact that Foolish never really did anything to become a king in the first place. All he did was announce that he was starting a Kingdom. Everything else simply fell into place from there.
It was bold - very bold - to just stand up and claim to be a king.
It took a very specific person. One with an absurd amount of charisma and self-confidence.
Most would think that no one would fuel such an ego.
So due to the fact that people were just as willing to join and follow, maybe they really were all just fools.
Not that there was anything wrong with that, per se.
He was one of the people who chose this path after all.
Even so, it didn’t take long for him to realize that this Kingdom was unlike any he had seen before. Because Foolish didn’t really seem to have an ego at all. At least not an unhealthy one that would belong to a dictator.
The king surprisingly didn’t do much. Well, when he phrased it like that, then it sounded like it was meant to be some sort of insult. It wasn’t. Not in the slightest. He would never say that the king was lazy or incompetent, even if that was what some outsiders liked to say. Because he wasn’t. Instead, he’d rather think of it as patience. As reason. As leniency.
Foolish never demanded things out of anyone. He would only ask and request. If they said no, then the questions ended right then and there. He never expected the members of the Kingdom to sacrifice things for him, either. If anything, he was completely against it.
There were plenty of times Clown overheard a conversation between the king and another member. They would tell the king that they were willing to protect him until the very end, that they were willing to give him anything he needed, even lay down their life if it meant the Kingdom was safe.
And every single time those words were said to him, he would say that they would never have to do that in their lifetime. Even when they tried to rebuttal, Foolish would continue to explain that such devotion would not be necessary. He discouraged loyalty that crossed a certain line. He also deterred any offers that the people in the Kingdom gave him. He’d even say that he’d rather them see him as a friend rather than a king, someone they could turn to and be personal with.
Because even if he gave the people in the Kingdom a place to call home, all he ever wanted in return was friendship.
It was unfathomable.
Because with how loyal, with how devoted, with how loving the Kingdom was, Foolish could truly have it all. The Realm, the world, was in his hands.
And yet, he refused to take it.
Instead, he held something that many people that wore a crown usually did not.
Dignity.
He never thought he’d meet a king that was as genuine and kind as Foolish. He never thought he would have so much respect for him, either. At least not to this extent.
It was hard to believe at first, especially with all the things that others would say about him. He thought that it could be some type of act, that maybe he would change the second he thought he was alone. Yet no matter how many times he walked up on him with no warning, he remained the same.
If anything, Foolish was even kinder when no one else was watching.
And before Clown knew it, he found himself becoming angry at the words others spewed.
From day one, words like ‘tyrant’ were being thrown around. Of course, Foolish didn’t have time to earn such a name then, so even if he didn’t see how Foolish was behind closed doors, he would have never believed it.
Still, that didn’t mean it wasn’t a heavy word to toss around.
It made him wonder if Foolish would ever dare to prove them right. If he would ever risk it all just to make it stop. He had many opportunities to. And at this point, he may as well snap just so people would quit their unnecessary input. Hell, Clown probably would.
He would have proved their assumptions right just to get them to shut their mouths and move on.
But Foolish wasn’t him.
And he was beyond thankful for that.
Because after all this time, Foolish had yet to prove their rumors to be true. At this point, Clown didn’t think he ever would.
And that meant everything to him. Because that meant he could trust him. He could ease his guard down day by day and let himself truly live. Since Foolish didn’t accept many gifts from others, Clown did the best he could to thank him in other ways.
Whenever Foolish needed something, he was more than happy to help him.
It was what kindness warranted.
It was what kindness deserved.
Whenever Foolish asked one of them to make amour and enchant it, whenever he requested for a new set of tools, he always provided the materials himself. He’d give them the diamonds, hand up the little netherite he had, and Clown was certain he would have given the experience necessary to enchant if he could. And if something felt like it was too much of an inconvenience, or if any of them expressed a single hint of hesitation, he would drop the request immediately. He wouldn’t even press about it. He’d just move on, reassuring them that his request could always wait. Or that they didn’t even need to help him at all.
It was appalling to him.
Foolish was a king.
Royalty.
Yet sometimes, it felt like he was the one serving them. Not the other way around.
There were many times where Clown was more than happy to make something for his king. Foolish didn’t need to hand him the materials to craft them, nor did Foolish need to make it up to him in any way. It was simply out of generosity. From the want to help.
It didn’t matter how many times Clown said that, though. Foolish always insisted on giving him something in return. For some reason, a thank you wasn’t enough. He had to give more, say more, show his appreciation more. So any time he handed Foolish a newly enchanted weapon, he had to brace himself for a wave of various compliments.
At first, Clown was able to laugh them off.
Because at first, he was convinced that it simply started off as a joke. It was the middle ground they unknowingly agreed upon. If Clown didn’t let him hand the needed materials, if he didn’t allow him to give something in return, then words were what sufficed.
Clown did what he could to play it off, to act like all the words did was fuel his massive ego. But as time went by, they became something more than an ego booster.
The more Clown helped him, the more genuine the compliments felt.
And then the words Foolish said started to ring in his head. They started to sound like something more. Something deeper. Something earnest. Like Foolish wanted him to believe it all. Like Foolish wanted the words to resonate with him.
There was a certain type of tone Foolish started giving them in. It may have been something he made up in his head, but the tone almost sounded flirtatious. His string of compliments would always end in a laugh. But it was a certain laugh that Clown was far from familiar with.
It wasn’t the laugh that Foolish made after something funny happened. It wasn’t the awkward laugh he’d do after something bad happened either.
No. It was something completely different.
Something that made Clown feel as if he was special just hearing it in the first place.
That was when the words and praise from his liege started to fluster him. His stomach would twist. His heart would skip a beat. And then he’d find himself thinking about it all hours after it happened.
He held every single complement Foolish gave him closer than he ever thought he would.
He did the best he could to brush them off.
He didn’t want to overthink it, nor did he want to accidentally convince himself of something that wasn’t real.
But no matter how hard he tried to move on, that didn’t mean he was able to fully let them go.
>>> ──────── .✦➤
Clown didn’t know when he started keeping track of all the things Foolish sacrificed for them.
He didn’t know when he became so protective of him, either.
It was some sort of unexplainable separation anxiety. The moment Foolish left his sight, he did anything he could in order to find him again. He didn’t even mean for it to happen either. It was like an instinct, a habit that he could no longer shake.
His eyes just had a knack for following him. Nothing was weird about that. At least he didn’t think so.
Not until Ros and Sneeg began to point it out to him.
He ignored them anyway.
He didn't have time to ponder on such things.
So what if he just so happened to walk up to Foolish anytime he was in his sight? So what if he stood right beside the throne whenever they were in the throne room. He was the archmage, right? Of course he would stand close to protect his king.
And whenever they were travelling, he did the best he could to make sure Foolish didn’t stray from him. Whenever someone made a comment on it, all he said was that he wanted his king to be okay. He ignored the way they’d look at him. He also ignored the way they whispered to each other immediately after.
When Foolish was by his side, he was the only person that mattered to him. His safety was his priority, because once again, if Foolish didn’t accept gifts in return for his kindness, then being his guard was the best thing he could do. He made sure to kill any monsters that dared to near him. He wouldn’t even say a word as he pushed Foolish behind him and swung his axe forward.
He tried to ignore the way Foolish would laugh every time he did. He knew it wasn’t a laugh meant to mock him, he had known Foolish long enough to tell the difference. But since he could now tell the difference between his laughter, he was able to tell that it was out of endearment.
All it did was make his heart beat faster.
And all that did was motivate him further.
Because for some reason, he loved that his king was endeared by him.
Maybe he even loved it a bit more than he should have.
Though that didn’t stop the blush warming his face. And that definitely didn’t stop him from clinging to him, either.
He was told that he was even worse when they were in the castle. By all means, he didn’t have a single clue what Ros and Sneeg meant by ‘worse’, but he still found himself laughing at it anyway. It wasn’t like he could necessarily argue with them about it.
He was too busy with other things.
Whenever they were in the Kingdom halls, Clown spent most of his time standing by the throne. He’d keep the king company, even if it was simply to enjoy the rare moments of silence. When people stopped by to talk to Foolish, Clown stood his ground, making sure to stand as a warning if they dared to try anything. When people asked to talk to the king one on one, Clown made sure he was only a few steps away.
There was no such thing as being too cautious. Not when in a place like The Realm.
To keep himself busy during those times, he kept track of everyone who entered and exited the Kingdom. He tried his best to listen to every conversation he could. Whenever tensions were high, people tended to walk around with invisibility potions. Especially around the castle, because for some reason everyone just loved to blame their problems on the king.
With all the realms Clown had survived in, he certainly got good at finding the people who wanted to hide.
He liked to think that he was making Foolish proud.
Though he wasn’t really sure why he cared so much about what Foolish thought about him.
Of course he cared. It was his king - his friend - after all. But to the extent that he did, maybe there was a reason why Ros and Sneeg kept looking at him and giggling.
And when the day ended, leaving the castle quiet and dim, he was right back in the throne room, talking to Foolish until they both decided it was time to go to bed.
Most nights, they would simply talk about their day. If anything intense happened, or if too many people got too close for comfort, they would come up with a few possible resolutions. Clown would once again promise to protect him. Then Foolish would once again warn him that he shouldn't stress too much about him.
At this point, it was a conversation they had almost every single night.
Every single time, Clown would say he would continue to protect him. And every single time, Foolish would express his appreciation.
Then there were times where none of that happened. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, Clown would walk away with so many thoughts raging in his head.
Even after all his time in the Kingdom of Fools, his liege still found ways to surprise him.
Because there were nights where neither of them said much. The silence would weigh heavy in the air, making it feel as if his lungs were moments away from being ripped from his chest and crushed under his feet.
And then Foolish would open up to him. It wouldn’t be much, just a slight slouch of his shoulders and a sigh filled with melancholy, but it was more than he would ever show anyone.
The smile Clown loved seeing would twitch into a small frown. His eyes would then grow distant, telling Clown that Foolish was getting lost in his own head.
He would then mutter something under his breath.
If Clown really wanted to, he could listen and figure out what he was saying. With all the conversations he had spied on, he’d like to say he was very capable at reading between the lines. But even if he was standing only a few feet away, there was something about it that felt wrong.
He didn’t want to eavesdrop. He didn’t want to hear about Foolish’s struggles like that.
He wanted to hear them when Foolish was speaking directly to him. Not when he was clearly speaking to himself in the hopes no one would hear.
Sometimes, Clown wondered if Foolish even realized he was doing it.
He was tempted to point it out. But if this was the only time he allowed himself to merely crack, then there was no way in hell he was going to take that away from him.
All he could do was reassure him whenever he allowed him to.
Though he couldn’t help but feel honored that Foolish was letting himself express his emotions more around him.
There was something about it that made Clown nervous, though.
Because for some reason, it seemed to be only him who had seen Foolish in his more solemn state.
Of course, Foolish had a lot of energy. When everyone was around, he always found a way to be the light of the room. He would joke around, fueling whatever banter was going around and chiming in with his own fighting words. He could run around with an energy Clown never expected to see from a king. As Ros would say, he was whimsical. And as Sneeg would say, he simply lived up to his name.
But Foolish wasn’t always like that. At least not to the extremity that everyone else seemed to believe.
To notice was one thing. To care about it was another.
And Clown didn’t realize he cared so much.
With all Foolish had given up for them, he almost wanted to ask what was the final thing that made him break that energetic facade.
Was it the day Pangi put all of the Kingdom’s lives at risk, leaving the Kingdom distressed and angry? Most likely not. It was far too early in the Kingdom's days for such a thing to have an effect on him. Still, Clown remembered it like it happened yesterday.
While everyone was full of rage, wanting nothing more than to get their hands on vengeance, the king remained optimistic. Almost immediately, he did the best he could to fix the farm that was destroyed.
Maybe he wasn’t as skillful when it came to building farms, nor was he nearly as efficient as some of the others in the Kingdom, but he still tried. To Clown, that was what mattered. It may have been exhausting to return to the heat of the hellish nether for his own bee farm, but with the knowledge that his liege wasn’t lounging around and forcing his Kingdom to fix the problem on their own, it made the heat a little more bearable.
It was always a group effort. The king and all. It was something that made Clown respect him a lot.
When Sneeg lost a life while trying to hunt Pangi down, the last thing Clown expected was for Foolish to shed himself of his armor. It was the armor Clown made him. And since Clown wanted to make sure the king was protected, he made sure to enchant it the best he possibly could. At the time, it was considered to be the strongest armor set yet. It was something he thought the king deserved. And for the protection of a member of the Kingdom, he gave that safety up willingly.
He even gave Sneeg the powerful bow Clown made him.
What really got Clown’s attention was the fact Foolish did it with minimal hesitation.
Sneeg didn’t even ask. Clown didn’t think Sneeg would ever ask the king something like that, either.
Clown was pretty sure he heard Sneeg ask the question ‘are you sure?’ at least a thousand times.
Through it all, Foolish reassured Sneeg that it was more than okay. All he wanted was for Sneeg to return safely with the items he lost.
For hours, Foolish went without armor.
And even if Clown stressed over how careless he seemed to be without said protection, it was the action of giving up his own safety in the first place that spoke louder than ever.
Not long after that endeavor, Foolish died to the Red faction.
No one from the Kingdom knew what happened. All they knew was that there was blood on the Kingdom doorsteps that wasn’t there before. As well as a sign above the castle saying that the king was dead.
Those who were involved refused to tell the truth. There was even a will that the king supposedly left. But it fell into the hands of the wrong people. So all the Kingdom got were a bunch of lies and half-truths.
When Clown found out that it was a sacrifice to save the Red faction from punishment, he couldn’t even describe all the rage that he felt.
Because Foolish gave up one of his lives for people that weren’t even in his Kingdom. He let them slaughter him on his own doorstep. Just for them to turn it all into some sort of game. What hurt the most was that not a single member of the Kingdom was there to stop him.
There was no one there to protect him, to talk him out of giving up himself to those who would never reciprocate such a gesture.
They didn’t even show any appreciation. All they did was create more chaos, throwing gasoline on the Kingdom’s sensitive soul and then lighting it all on fire.
The entire time, Clown was worried that betrayal would find him one way or another. After finding his place in the Kingdom, he was more worried that the Kingdom would turn their back on him, or that the king would have something up his sleeve. The last thing he expected was for the king himself to be the one that was betrayed. Because for some reason, he thought the only way the king would ever experience betrayal would be if it was him holding the knife.
And since he wasn’t planning on picking up that knife anytime soon, he simply assumed that the king would be safe.
He hated seeing Foolish being taken advantage of.
When Foolish found out what happened after his return, he wondered what Foolish thought about it. When everyone was watching, he simply laughed it off. But would he laugh at it now? Clown wasn’t so sure.
Then there was a ball that took place in the Kingdom. It happened long after the Red faction incident. By that point, the Red faction seemed nothing more than a tale people told. It became a chaotic time that people reminisced on. One that people would randomly bring up whenever they had nothing else to talk about.
Supposedly, that ball was the second one, though Clown didn’t know much about the first. Apparently, it ended in disaster. Ros, Aimsey, and Pangi were taken to a place called the Null. No one really knew what the Null was. Either way, it was clearly a place no one should go.
He didn’t hear about it until the three of them were already back. He was in the nether at the time, working on his own personal things. It was something suggested by Foolish himself. According to him, he was focusing too much on the Kingdom. Foolish wanted him to take time to himself. As reluctant as he was, with enough reassurance from Foolish, as well as the added push from Ros and Sneeg, he went to his hidden base and worked on a few things he had been meaning to for a very long time.
To this day, he wished he didn’t listen to them.
The second ball, the one that was meant to fix the wrongdoings of the first one, ended up in chaos.
A fight broke out at the very end, even though there were endless requests for peace from both Ros and Foolish. They completely disregard their words, once more taking advantage of their kindness.
It ended in both Pili and Ros dying.
Then everyone found out that Foolish gave up one of his lives for Ros.
He also had to build a statue. It was supposedly for a contract with a Keeper of the Realm.
After hearing Foolish talk about how he’d never build again, it felt surreal seeing him climb up scaffolding and sculpting stone. There wasn’t much that everyone agreed on when talking about Foolish, but if there was one thing the entire Realm knew for certain, it was that building was the one thing he claimed he would never do. He said he was retired. That he no longer wanted to build something ever again.
His reluctance towards building related to the builds he used to do in other realms. That was the one thing Clown knew.
Clown obviously never saw his builds, but with how he was building the statue, he just knew his builds were beautiful.
And even though building was something he wanted to give up on, it was something he picked back up just for Ros.
That meant everything.
So when he found out that Foolish even tried to give up a life for Pili, too, all he could do was shake his head. Because of course he would.
Why wouldn’t he?
He heard Foolish say that he did it because he felt guilty. As king of the Yellow faction, he said it would feel wrong if he didn’t take part of the blame for Ros and Pili’s deaths. The Keeper only let him save one. Even so, he still did it because he felt like it was the least he could do.
Clown could never imagine how guilty one could feel to the point they felt inclined to give up one of their own lives. It must have weighed heavy. And if the Keeper only allowed him to save one of them rather than both, he could only assume the guilt just sat in his stomach and simmered.
Even for someone as strong as Foolish, it had to bother him at least a little.
At least Clown would think so. He wasn’t going to ask him any time soon.
Foolish then died once more. This time to Owen, someone who once lived inside the Kingdom doors. If it was anyone else, he would have most likely acted petty about it. It was someone he was suspicious of since the very beginning. Saying ‘I told you so’ would have felt beyond satisfying.
However, it was Foolish. So all it did was make him wish he tried harder to convince him that Owen was nothing but trouble. The Green faction was even there to assist him. The very people that called him a tyrant from day one.
All Clown wanted to know was why Foolish followed Owen alone.
Not a single person in the Kingdom trusted Owen. He was pretty sure the king didn’t even trust him either.
Yet he chose to humor the ex-member, falling right into the hands of another death trap.
That was one of the things Clown still didn’t understand about him. Because he knew he was most likely walking into a death trap. He knew what he was doing was dangerous. And yet, he did it anyway.
It was why Clown was so insistent on protecting him whenever he could. The moment Foolish was out of his sight, something terrible always happened.
The Kingdom soon learned that Foolish surrendered the moment Green threatened the castle and Zam. They claimed that they rigged the place with explosives. They also said that Zam was in the building. If Foolish fought back, they said it would all be gone in a blink of an eye.
And if the Kingdom were to be blown up into pieces, his newly adopted son would be blown up, too.
Once again, it was the exchange of his life for the safety of another.
That seemed to be how his liege lived.
Clown noticed that Foolish tended to give up his life a lot.
As honorable of a gesture it was, Clown always thought it was more concerning than anything.
Did Foolish not see his life as something worth living?
Even as a king, did he not see his life as valuable?
He gave and he gave and he gave.
Clown feared that one day Foolish would stretch himself too thin. He’d almost want to argue that Foolish already had. Because if Foolish was constantly giving up parts of himself for others, who would be there to give something to him? Who would be there to sign a contract for his protection, giving up a part of their soul to make sure he kept breathing? Who would be there to light up the castle when monsters inevitably spawned in the dimly lit building, driving themselves insane just to make sure no one got hurt?
Who would be there to take the heat for his mistakes? To tell him that it was okay and that they would take care of it?
Because that was another thing that Clown noticed throughout the weeks.
Someone in the Kingdom would mess up. Something would happen, upsetting others in the Realm. They would then confront Foolish about it, demanding that he give his own Kingdom members a punishment worthy of whatever they did.
Every time someone approached him with such a demanding request, Foolish would simply say that he was the one who told them to do it. He would lie and say that he was the one behind said plan, the one who requested they do whatever it was. And when they asked him to do something about it, he told them straight to their faces that he would take the blame.
So they’d take it out on him. Just so they would leave the rest of the Kingdom alone.
So while Foolish took the weight of the Kingdom’s mistakes, while he took the weight of all of their hurt, who would be there to support him when he was hurting? Because Clown knew there were secrets behind his smile.
He has heard him awkwardly pause during certain conversations. He has seen him freeze up once certain words were said.
And hell, he was eerily good and changing the topic and moving on.
He was altruistic. Way too altruistic.
And worst of all, that was the exact reason why he remained loyal to his king in the first place.
Because somehow, somehow, people still had ridiculous things to say about him.
It made him want to give back to him, to return the kindness that Foolish showed them tenfold.
This entire time, he tried to be subtle about it. It was why he was so protective of him, why he was more than willing to give him whatever he asked for. Because he wouldn’t accept it otherwise. Not unless Clown put up a fight.
But after he got beheaded by Owen, it got to a point where he couldn’t be subtle anymore.
Because when Foolish came back once more, proving again that death was no match for him, Clown noticed the scar that was now on his neck. It still had some golden blood on it. The scar was also jagged, telling him that it took multiple hits of an axe before the beheading was successful.
He just hoped it wasn’t painful for him. He wouldn’t forgive himself if it was.
Not that Foolish would tell him. He’d have to figure it out by keeping a close eye on him.
Then he noticed something else.
It was hard to see, especially with how bold the one scar was around his neck, but he was able to spot a few more faded scar lines on his neck as well.
There was a second.
And there was also a third.
Before Clown could even stop himself, he walked up to Foolish and pointed it out.
The moment he did, he immediately regretted it. He didn’t want to overwhelm him. Not like this. It just didn’t seem fair.
However, Foolish didn’t say anything about it. He simply smiled in return, rubbing his hand along his neck for a moment before resting the same hand on his shoulder. Clown froze at the touch.
Foolish then joked that Clown was way too observant for his own good.
Clown so badly wanted to say that he was simply observant enough.
He didn’t, though. His throat was too closed up to say anything.
He realized something not too long after that.
Because once everything settled down, Foolish told him that he was the only one who noticed the other two scars.
As morbid as it sounded, he actually thought it was quite obvious. They were right there along with the other scar. If one were to look long enough, he was certain they would spot it, too.
Until it hit him that no one else would probably stare as long as he did.
He would like to blame his overprotective nature. He did tend to be a bit paranoid at times, after all. But even then, he knew he was slightly lying to himself.
He just couldn’t pinpoint why that was.
It was a question he wanted nothing more than to answer. However, the more he thought about it, the more confused he would end up being.
Because yes, he did tend to stare at Foolish a lot. At this point, whether he liked it or not, it was something that everyone in the Kingdom knew.
They knew he kept a close eye on him. They knew that he tended to follow him wherever he went. Still, it felt like he somehow managed to find a way to be clingier than before.
He didn’t want to come off as overbearing, not that Foolish seemed to mind how close he’d get anyway, but with how much Foolish had died for the sake of others, he just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he inevitably did it again.
Because whether the Kingdom liked it or not, Clown knew better than to assume Foolish would stop now.
It seemed to be in his nature. An instinct that Clown couldn’t explain.
But at the same time, there was a bit of hope that Clown liked to cling onto.
Maybe if he was there, maybe if he was always prepared for something to happen, then maybe - just one time - he could talk Foolish out of doing it once more.
At least then, it would save everyone a bit of pain. And at least then, Foolish wouldn’t have to face the consequences all on his own. Because he would be there to support him. To be his protector. To make sure that the day ended with his heart still beating and his soul alive.
He knew he could never control a king, that wasn’t what he intended to do, but as the king’s archmage, the least he could do was be there right by his side.
He knew Foolish appreciated it. He could tell by the way he’d look at him every time they went their separate ways. There was always a bit of reluctance, a prolonged gaze that neither of them wanted to break first.
Clown couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad thing that Foolish was always the one who broke it first.
He tried not to ponder on it for too long. If he did, he had no idea what conclusion he would possibly come to.
Then Foolish started saying things he never said before. They were things that even made the people nearby turn their heads. It was strange to get so much attention because of it. Because by this point, he was far too used to them being in their little world.
He didn’t know when they stopped keeping these interactions to themselves.
Hell, he didn’t even realize they only acted like this alone in the first place.
The compliments Foolish would give him, the side comments he’d make about him, they were never as bold as they were now.
It was obvious that there was something different between them.
As if things haven’t already been different between them for a very long time.
He could already hear all the comments from Ros and Sneeg. For crying out loud, they were usually the ones who ended up witnessing it in the first place
It made him think.
It made him think way too much for his own mental wellbeing.
It was a strange feeling to process. His heart could only handle so much. But at the same time, he couldn’t get enough of it.
And then one day, while the Kingdom were all spending time together, he joked about how good he looked.
It was simply meant to be a joke about his ego. Everyone was playing a part in it, overexaggerating all their best qualities then laughing about it after. It wasn’t anything serious - not that Clown was self-conscious or anything.
If anything, he thought it was funny saying it because he was the only one in the Kingdom wearing a mask.
Everyone else laughed. Of course, Sneeg of all people was the one to bring up the mask immediately too, making everyone laugh even harder.
But then there was one reaction that stuck out from the rest. It was interesting, because with how loud everyone was, most probably didn’t even hear it at all.
But Clown heard it. Of course he heard it. Because the words were said in the voice Clown always liked listening to.
His head never turned so fast in his life when he heard Foolish agree.
And when he blushed over the way Foolish was smiling at him, it felt as if it was only the two of them in the room. All of the laughter, all of the other jokes, every other sound the people in the Kingdom made fell deaf to his ears. He smiled back. Not that Foolish could see it anyway.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when someone suddenly tapped his shoulder. He turned to see Ros grinning at him. It was a face filled with nothing but mischief. She then said something to him. However, he struggled to hear it.
He was still lost in his own world, the words only Clown heard still ringing in his ears.
When Sneeg walked up with the same evil grin, suddenly everything made sense.
He understood what they have been teasing him for.
All the strange looks, all the whisperers and laughter, everything added up.
All he could do was laugh along with the crowd.
Because never did he think he would be the type to fall for a king.
>>> ──────── .✦➤
“You should do something for yourself, my liege.” He said one night while standing next to the throne. It was a few days after Clown’s self-discovery. As much as he wanted to take time to himself, processing all the feelings that have been brewing in his chest, he knew that stepping away would only make them stronger.
He understood why he was so attached now. So at this point, there was no way he was going to let go.
Foolish laughed at the statement. Once again, Clown knew it didn't stem from any form of mockery. It was that endeared laugh again, the one that Clown has been hearing way too much as of late.
He swore he could listen to it forever. He almost wanted to keep talking just so he could hear it more.
He held his words and shook his head.
Foolish cleared his throat.
Clown then noticed that Foolish somehow got closer. He was learning over his throne, elbows on the arm of it as his head rested in his hands. He was doing the head tilt he always did when he was intrigued. There was also that golden curiosity glimmering in his eyes. With the yellow beacon glowing behind them, it made them look like stars.
Foolish clicked his tongue, a slight smirk tugging at his lips as he spoke.
“You think so, my archmage?”
And there was that voice, too. The one that he used whenever they played their verbal games.
Clown grinned. He wished Foolish was able to see it. “Of course.” He replied, doing the best he could to mimic Foolish’s teasing tone, “A little selfishness wouldn’t hurt.”
Foolish leaned back on his throne. He then let out a dramatic sigh. Though Clown couldn’t see his expression, he could see the way his shoulders slumped as he heavily exhaled. It was mostly for the dramatics, but he sounded tired. Like something had been on his mind for a while “Oh Clownpierce,” He sighed with the shake of his head, “but it would.”
Clown wanted so badly to understand what Foolish meant by that. There had to be a reason why he was so reluctant to take anything from others. There had to be a reason why he seemed so avoidant right now.
They both knew there was something going on between them. At this point, it was far from a secret. All he wanted was for Foolish to admit it. To make something of it. Because if he didn’t say something anytime soon, then he had no choice to believe that this was all imaginary.
Right now, it was nothing more than flirty jokes and flattering compliments. Faraway stares and silent nods. Everything else was living in his head, his own feelings creating a lens of intentions that only he could see.
Whatever it was, whatever they had, it was real to him.
He wanted nothing more than for it to be real to Foolish too.
Because if it was all just a dream, some figment of his far-fetched imagination, he worried he would never be able to look at Foolish the same ever again.
He wasn’t one to get this attached. Not to a king of all people, either. He couldn’t believe he thought about betraying Foolish all those months ago.
The thought alone made him feel sick.
But what hurt him more was the possibility that Foolish was holding back because he thought he had to. He understood where Foolish was coming from. In many realms before, he was the one who let attachments get the best of him. They were used against him, used to manipulate him, used to hurt him in a way incomprehensible.
With the way the Green faction threatened to blow up the castle and kill Zam in the process - whether it was a lie or not - he understood why Foolish would hesitate.
Because if they were willing to threaten the life of his son, of course they would threaten the life of his lover.
The people in the Realm swung low.
Just like in every other realm Clown had seen.
And with how Foolish acted, he could only assume it was the same case for him, too.
It would explain a lot.
So as much as it upset him, as much as he wanted to be selfish and force him to answer, he knew better than to do that. Because if the roles were reversed, he knew Foolish would be the type to wait a lifetime for the right moment.
And once again, that was the very reason why he liked him.
That kindness. That heart of gold. It was something he rarely saw in people.
He just wanted to hold it, to have it to himself, to stand himself in the way of anyone who dared to harm him and guard him with his life.
It was the exact thing Foolish would never want him to do. But fuck, he was selfish. So selfish to the point he would die if it meant he could stop Foolish from hurting just for a little while. He’d let Green hurt him instead, let people whisper made up rumors about him, let them blame him for the Kingdom’s mistakes. Because to him, Foolish’s safety was more important than anything.
And that was where they were similar. Yet also so incredibly different.
He decided it was best to just go to his room and sleep it off. Just thinking about it was starting to overwhelm him. His head was starting to hurt. His chest was starting to ache.
But before he left, he wanted to ask Foolish one more thing.
Before he moved where he was standing, he told Foolish goodnight like he always did. Without a moment of hesitation, Foolish said it back. He tried not to comment on the fact Foolish’s voice lacked the sing-song tone it always did when they parted for the night. Then while halfway down the long hall, he turned around to face him.
Foolish’s head perked up. He huffed out a small, breathy laugh. Almost like he somehow knew Clown was going to turn around.
“If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”
Even with the mask covering his face, he swore Foolish’s eyes locked directly with his. Silence hovered over them once again. Only this time, it weighed heavy with a tension Clown never felt before.
His heart spiked. It felt like the air in his lungs suddenly disappeared.
Foolish hummed.
That was when he knew the conversation was over.
When Foolish urged him to go to bed, he couldn’t help but notice that Foolish never answered his question.
Though oddly enough, even if no words were said, he felt like he was still given an answer.
There was something about them that he noticed a long time ago. Even before he realized his feelings towards him. It was always actions with them. Other than the compliments, other than the playful arguments they’d have, it was always action over speech. He didn’t know why, but they were far better at communicating that way.
Foolish’s expressions, Foolish’s actions, they always meant more to him than any of the words he said. And that really said something, because his words meant a lot to him, too.
But it was his actions, his selflessness, his altruism, that made him fall for him in the first place.
It was a bit ironic if Clown really thought about it. He couldn’t help but laugh at himself.
Generosity and greediness. Altruism and selfishness.
That was who they were.
And now they were stuck in a cycle of kindness.
He could feel Foolish’s eyes burn into the back of his head as he walked to his room. He also heard him sigh.
He nearly stopped in his tracks. That was when it clicked. For a split second, he was tempted to turn right back around and press about it more. But he knew better than to do that. All this time, Foolish had yet to press him about anything. He never asked him for anything too demanding, nor did he ever pressure him to do anything he didn’t want to.
He was not going to be one of the people to take advantage of Foolish’s kindness. And there was no way in hell he was going to be one to betray that kindness either.
But the moment he heard that sigh, Foolish managed to answer his question without saying anything at all.
It wasn't about what he wanted.
It was who.
And as the stare continued to burn through the back of his head, he wondered if Foolish could somehow see the wide smile on his face.
Because he could certainly feel Foolish’s smile as he opened his bedroom door and closed it behind him.
He had all he could do to keep himself composed. There was a fire in his heart, one that he never thought he’d feel while living in the Kingdom of Fools. Because this entire time, he was worried about a different type of flame.
He was worried about betrayal. He was worried about hurt. He was terrified of watching the ones he cared about burn.
The flame he expected to see, the emotions he expected to feel, they didn’t align with reality in the slightest.
While he was too concerned about people burning, too busy thinking about all the possible paths of betrayal, he forgot that fire could also be warm.
It could light up the darkness. It could provide comfort.
And most of all, it could make him feel safe.
It’s been a while since he felt this safe.
There was just something about Foolish’s smile that always made him feel like everything was going to be okay.
To many, a smile from the king wouldn’t mean much in the slightest. If anything, it would make more people in the Realm feel anger rather than anything else.
To Clown though, it meant everything.
No one else would know, but it wasn’t just a smile. No. It was more. Way more. With the way they spoke to each other, with the way they communicated, almost everything they did held a special weight.
And that smile spoke way more words than Foolish ever could on his own. Its warmth felt like a promise. The way it lingered felt like a silent way to tell him all he had to do was wait.
That was the only confirmation he ever needed to feel at peace.
So while he waited, he’d give him his devotion.
He’d give him flowers.
He’d even give him all the compliments in the world until Foolish was unable to give a proper response. And hell, if Foolish was going to be shameless and flirt with him when the entire Kingdom was right there, then he’d flirt right back until Foolish’s face got red and his voice sounded flustered.
If Foolish ever wanted to be selfish and finally ask for them to be more, he just hoped Foolish knew he would be more than happy to give him it all.
He’d give him his trust. Rip out his heart. Hand him his soul.
And if Foolish wanted to wait a while before giving him his heart in return, then Clown would wait for eternity.
It didn’t even have to be in this lifetime. Nor did it have to be in this realm. Because if there was one thing in this world that would reward Foolish for his altruistic heart, it would be none other than the universe itself making sure he got what he deserved.
When he found a flower placed on his dresser a few mornings later, he knew exactly who it was from. There was a note attached to it, too.
He picked it up. His eyes were too blurry to read it.
Not that there were any words written on it anyway. All that was drawn on it was a singular heart. Once again. It was actions over everything.
He couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
Because it meant Foolish was finally going after something - someone - he wanted. For once, he was being selfish. For once, he was allowing himself to have something. To be a part of something.
And Clown felt honored beyond words that it just so happened to be him Foolish chose to be selfish for.