Work Text:
“Woah!” Hans shouted as his horse reared and nearly threw him. He struggled to get it calm again as it snorted and whinnied. “Are you out of your head, woman?!” he snarled once he was able to dismount. “You could have killed the both of us!”
The woman in question was that of an old woman who had seemed to appear right in front of their path. One moment they had been riding into the shady grove and the next moment, she was just there. Unfortunately Hans had nearly run her over and now he was irate. Or at least more irate as he had already been in a foul mood as witnessed by Henry. It was an ugly thought but Henry had almost hoped he would’ve been knocked unconscious from falling off his horse (though the likelihood of breaking his neck would have been higher).
“I’m- I’m very sorry, Sir, I did not mean for that to happen.” The old woman stammered.
“Well, it did happen! And it’s your fault whether you own up to it or not!” Lord Capon jabbed an accusing finger in her face. “What were you thinking just jumping out in front of us?”
“Jumping?” The woman seemed puzzled. “I- I have a broken ankle and I don’t move as well as I used to…”
“I don’t want to hear your whole life story. Get out of here!”
“Wait, how is she supposed to do that with a broken ankle?” Henry cut in.
“I don’t care!” His Lord replied shortly.
“Hold on, ma’am, did you want our assistance in helping you somewhere…? Home or the doctors?” he chose to ignore Hans’ antics and spoke politely to the old woman.
She nodded. “That is why I tried to stop you gentlemen. If you could take me home, that would be very kind of you. It’s not far from here on horseback.”
“Henry, don’t you dare-!” Hans cautioned him.
Henry swung down from his horse and helped the woman onto his mount. Then he got on behind her. “We’re going. I don’t care what you do.” he told Hans curtly.
He had half expected Hans to ride off somewhere but the Lord trailed behind them like a dark cloud, muttering under his breath.
When they came to the little hut in the woods, he helped her inside and she offered him money, which he refused. She expressed that she was very good at making potions and he could come by for some if he was ever in the area again. Henry gave her a grateful nod and headed out the door, feeling pleased with himself until he got back on his horse and was promptly chastised by Hans.
“You and your goddamn bleeding heart! She didn’t deserve to be helped after that stunt she pulled!” Hans seethed as they rode through the forest.
“She’s just a poor old woman, give it a rest.” Henry sighed.
“A poor old woman who nearly killed me! Your Lord by the way! You made me look like a fool disobeying me!”
Henry snorted. “I didn’t hear you give any orders. Besides,” he couldn’t help himself, the words just left his mouth. “You do a pretty good job of making yourself look like a fool without my help.”
Hans gasped like Henry had just slapped him. “How dare you speak to me like that! How many times are you going to forget your place? I am a nobleman and you’re just some filthy peasant!”
“You are the most un-noble noble I have ever met! You’re nothing but a spoiled brat!”
“That’s it!” Hans yanked his horse to a quick stop. “I’m going to make you sorry for running your mouth off to me!”
“Okay, and I can’t wait to put you on your arse!” Henry challenged, readily dismounting.
As soon as his feet hit the ground, he found himself already locked in a battle with Capon. He hoped it would go better than their last one where they had been interrupted by Hanush. Then they had just been grappling with each other, now they were actually fighting. Physically Henry was bigger than Hans and he would reckon stronger too but Hans was lighter and quicker. Hans was probably more used to people throwing fights because he was of noble blood while Henry had been in real fights.
He had been in the middle of punching Hans in the face when the other stumbled forward suddenly, complaining of not feeling well. At first Henry considered it to be a ruse but when Hans grabbed onto him for support, he wasn’t so sure. Had he hit him too hard or something?
“Hans-” he started to say when Hans disappeared right before his very eyes. Henry blinked rapidly, not able to process what just happened. First that old woman randomly appearing and now Hans randomly disappearing? It didn’t make any sense to him. His brain just couldn’t comprehend it. “HANS!” he cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted. “Where the fuck are you?”
It was then he heard a small sound coming from below him. Curiously, he bent down, squinted and then reeled back in surprise. It was Hans, but now tiny. Maybe only a few inches tall at most.
What the fuck?
It was the strangest thing he’d ever seen. Cautiously, using two fingers, he picked up the now shrunken lord and placed him in the palm of his hand.
“Hans?”
“You nearly trod on me, you dolt!” Hans’ voice sounded much more shrill than usual.
“Oh, uh, sorry?” Henry said sheepishly, even though the two had just been fighting. “This is some trick to get out of fighting me.” he joked.
“You wish!” Hans shot back, crossing his arms.
“How did your clothes shrink too?” Henry wondered, poking at Hans with a finger.
“Hey, watch yourself!” Hans didn’t even have the strength to push away Henry’s prodding finger. “Knock it off!”
“What do you think this is? Some kind of hallucination?”
“I don’t know… it feels very real.”
Henry agreed with him.
“I know!” Hans seemed to have an aha moment. “It was that witch!”
“What witch?”
“Are you slow?” The blonde scoffed. “That old crone from earlier! She hexed me!”
“Hey, wait, that nice old lady? You really think that she would do something like this?”
“Wasn’t she blathering about potions?”
“So? She’s a herb woman, ain’t she?”
“Wake up, Henry! There was clearly something strange about her! She did this to me!”
“Okay, okay,” Henry was a bit more convinced now. “Let’s say she did…”
“I’ll have that old hag quartered!” Hans began. “She won’t get away with this!”
“Let’s not be hasty… she’s just an old lady and she had her reasons.”
“What reasons were those?” His Lordship fumed.
“You were being a brat. She’s probably just trying to teach you a lesson.” Henry explained.
“Again with this! You do know who you’re talking to, right?”
Henry rolled his eyes. “I’m just stating the facts, your Lordship.”
“I’m going to have to do something about you too when I get turned back to normal!
“Oh really?”
“Really.”
“That’s if you get turned back to normal, that is.” Henry told him.
“What do you mean ‘if’?” Hans was affronted.
“I’m in no hurry to face punishment. And I think you’re a lot more tolerable this way.”
“Why you-! You insolent bastard! You will do as you’re told and I order you to help me!”
“No, I don’t think I will.” Henry grinned. And then an idea appeared to him. It was a little diabolical and maybe driven by the fact that he was hungry and now Hans was snack-sized. “I think it’s high time someone put you in your place, Hans.”
Before Hans could sputter an angry response, Henry brought his palm up closer to his mouth and lapped at the shrunken Lord with his tongue. Instantly, he was entranced by the flavors that tickled his taste buds, it was like nothing he had ever tasted before. At this point he had knocked Hans down and the other was struggling to get away from him to no avail. When he was finished, he drew back with a satisfied slurp, leaving the blonde sitting there covered in his saliva.
“What the fuck?!” Hans yelped, sopping wet and furious. “Have you lost your mind?! I’m- I’m not food!”
“I dunno about that. You’re pretty goddamn tasty.” Henry licked his lips.
Hans paled. “When Hanush hears about this-”
“He won’t be hearing shit.” And with that final word, Henry took the shrunken nobleman and plunged him headfirst into his mouth. As soon as he closed his lips around Hans’ middle, the other reacted by struggling and kicking his legs. Henry’s tongue tasted the parts of Hans’ body that it could and he purred happily from the flavors, a little bit of drool running down his chin.
“Henry! I’m not fucking around! You better spit me out or you’ll be sorry!” Hans threatened in vain.
Henry responded by slurping the noble into his mouth further until he was crammed all the way in. From there, he took to prodding the young man with his tongue and pinning him to the roof of his mouth. At that point his stomach was begging to be filled and he started swallowing just to freak Hans out further.
Hans alternated between begging and threatening Henry, but it didn’t matter what he said, he was going to end up in Henry’s stomach no matter what.
When he got tired of teasing, he tilted his head back sending Hans sliding towards the back of his throat. The young lord struggled for purchase, trying in vain to prevent his descent down Henry’s throat but the wetness prevented him from doing so and he soon found himself being dragged downward.
It was a little bit of a tight fit as Hans’ struggling body slid down his throat and Henry was honestly surprised he managed it without choking. All it took was a couple of swallows and Hans ended up in Henry’s growling stomach.
“You hardly made much of a meal, Capon.” Henry said, patting his stomach. In truth, he didn’t feel as full as he thought he would have. “I guess there’s not many things you measure up to.”
“Fuck you!” Hans shouted at him furiously, subjecting him to a torrent of insults. And then when he was done running his mouth, he started kicking and punching Henry’s stomach walls.
The most it did was upset his belly a little and cause him to belch. Good thing the other hadn’t any weapons on him or it might have been another story for Henry. It was weird having someone alive down there and moving around.
Hans soon gave up his fighting, probably realizing that it wasn’t doing him much good, and even though it was muffled, Henry heard him give a frustrated sob.
Shit.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. The guilt he felt was instantaneous. He nearly asked Hans if he was doing alright. He had wanted to teach Hans a lesson, to put the fear of God in him for being such a spoiled brat, but now reality was kicking in and Henry realized he had fucked up big time.
It was one thing to fight with a noble, but to eat one? He didn’t think anyone would be willing to get over that slight.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! Henry put his face in his hands. Why did he have to be so stupid and impulsive sometimes? What was he going to do now?
“Henry!” Hans called out to him, the fear evident in his voice. “I- I’m sorry for the things I said and how I acted! Please don’t kill me!” The nobleman begged him desperately.
Henry felt extremely guilty. “I’m not going to kill you. Never was. I just wanted to scare you.”
“R- really?” Hans sounded hopeful. “You’re going to let me out?”
“Yeah, but letting you go is a problem.”
“Wh- what do you mean?” Hans stammered nervously.
“I know I totally fucked myself. I let things get too far, I should’ve just stopped, and- and now I don’t know what to do.”
“Henry, I don’t give a fuck about all of that, okay? I just want out!”
Henry sighed, Hans was right. It was time he let him go. They could figure out the rest later.
It was an unpleasant process making himself throw up but he managed it and soon enough, Hans was back out and in his possession again. The nobleman looked even worse for wear now and didn’t smell too great being covered in stomach slime.
Henry set off right away to find the old woman and the whole time the two young men didn’t speak to each other. An awkward silence hung heavy in the air. The old woman copped to the crime almost immediately, revealing herself to be a witch that went around teaching people lessons in manners, and she turned Hans back to normal, even allowing him to wash off a little.
They stood by their horses awkwardly, Henry pretending the dirt was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, until Hans finally spoke.
“I know what you must think of me but even I can admit when I’ve made an ass of myself. I’d rather just forget this whole situation ever happened.” Hans told him wearily. “I behaved badly, you behaved badly, but that’s over now.”
“Really?” Henry asked warily, not ready to fully believe him. “You’ll let bygones be bygones?”
“Exactly, even that old crone gets my forgiveness.”
“But even after all that I did-”
“It’s fine.” Hans replied a little tensely. “I am in desperate need of a bath.”
“Aye, that you are.” Henry agreed with a nod.
“Let’s go.” The blonde spurred his mount onwards.
Henry followed closely behind, somehow knowing that Hans would keep his word and he wasn’t in any danger of being punished. Or being sent away. He wouldn’t try to argue that the experience had made them closer together but it had definitely made them come to some sort of understanding about one another.