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Soyo closed the door to her apartment, staring past Taki with dead eyes.
That sucked.
Their performance as CRYCHIC after all this time was horrible, and the drummer knew it too. She was smiling, crying, enjoying the moment just as everyone else was, but when she finally got off stage a tinge of displeasure spread through her expression. Not one Tomori would notice, definitely not one Sakiko would notice, but one Soyo had donned as well.
She didn't question why Taki followed her home. It didn't really matter to her, either. Deep down, she could admit the company was nice to have after such an event, and Anon wasn't necessarily the person either of them needed to see. Neither of them would say it to her face, but having Anon around kept the two of them grounded in reality and not floating into some dissociated state they were used to. Yes, Anon Chihaya was precious to both Soyo and Taki, but her presence would not be as welcome currently.
Soyo placed her school bag haphazardly on a table, her bass leaned carefully against it, and sat on the couch she had gotten quite used spending time on. Taki, carrying much less, followed suit. She wasn't watching, but she had felt the weight shift as the woman sat next to her silently.
There, they waited. Neither of them knew what for, and neither of them minded. The silence was comfortable, but at the same time, extremely heavy. Outside, stormclouds threatened to cause a downpour, and the small rumble of thunder caused Taki to break.
"Umiri was waiting outside."
Soyo kept her eyes on the ground, "Is that so?"
"She said our performance was 'magnificent'. I should have punched her."
Soyo could practically hear Taki's teeth grinding, "Why? Was she being sarcastic?"
The drummer shot a glare to the other, the two finally locking eyes, "Are you serious? Of course she was! Who would ever think that was 'magnificent’ — and who even uses that word?"
"Apparently she does." She remarked, picking at her nailbed, "Why was she waiting outside? Just to give a snide compliment?" Silence fell upon the two once more, causing Soyo to raise an eyebrow, "Well?"
"She was waiting for Sakiko and Mutsumi."
The other woman hummed in acknowledgement, "For?"
Tsk. A classic sound from the girl, "She wouldn't say."
"Then I guess it's none of our business."
Soyo relaxed further into the sofa, attempting to shut her mind from overthinking. It was only natural from her, of course, but after the time she had spent in MyGo, she had learned there was no use in it. Together, the five of them would be safe with each other for eternity. She had a home, and that's what mattered the most.
But then, why was Taki so tense? She was furrowing her eyebrows, picking at the fabric of her shirt, biting her lip as if she could rip it off. The bassist sighed, when did I become the most mature one here?
"What are you scared of?" She asked, "What does it matter?"
The drummer lowered her head a bit, "I don't know. I don't get her at all, Umiri makes no sense to me, and I-"
"You want to protect them, right?"
Soyo cut her off, causing Taki to shoot a glare of both embarrassment and annoyance at her in return. The statement clearly meant yes, and both of them knew it.
"It doesn't matter anymore." She mumbled, "It's over, we finally laid it to rest, right?"
Silence once more. Between the two of them, memories came flooding in of the time their old band had spent together. Each their own people, each special in their own way, truly the image of young girls having the time of their lives. It was almost too good to be true, and the collapse was inevitable. Everyone understood that, everyone took hold of those feelings and moved forward with them.
"Did you ever notice just how short lived we were?" Taki spoke up.
Of course she did. Soyo had spent months obsessing over it, obsessing over how short it all was, and yet she couldn't help but yearn for it. It was barely a band to begin with, a few short months of practicing together on some weekdays, seeing her friends in school and meeting the others after. It was fleeting, it was supposed to be.
The painful feelings flooded her mind, and she couldn't help but snip at the other, "I don't know why you insist on digging it back up."
Her eyebrows somehow furrowed more in annoyance, "Bold of you to say that, Soyo."
The irony wasn't lost on her. Yet, she wanted to move on. She needed to move on, she couldn't spend hours and nights obsessing over it like she once did. The wound, despite it being patched up, was still bleeding through the gauze, and Soyo's eyes watered in a similar manner.
She couldn't cry, not when she was alone with Taki. Those moments of sobbing were saved for her bedroom and that alone. The girl bit down on her lip, attempting to hold herself together as she shot a glance at the other, who was in a similar state.
It seems like their band was named what it was for a reason.
The other looked back at her, and cursed under her breath, "This is so stupid."
Soyo sniffed, agreeing with her, "Really stupid.”
Taki rubbed her sleeve against her cheek, cursing once more, and then again, and then again. As if it was the only thing she knew how to do, the girl cursed the situation, the past, her emotions, and herself. The woman next to her stared in utter disbelief. It wasn’t the first time she had seen Taki cry, absolutely not, but it looked like the girl was having a full on breakdown. Soyo couldn’t blame her, if she was even half as emotional as the other was, she would have joined her.
Instead, with only a few tears staining her own cheeks, she carefully placed her hand on Taki’s shoulder. It was some kind of emotional bridge between the two of them, one Soyo had never previously thought was necessary, or that either of them ever wanted. In that moment, however, instinct took over in a similar manner as it had to when she was confronted with Mortis for the first time: the past was the past, and the present was right in front of her. She could help, she could listen, and perhaps a part of herself would be healed in the process.
Taki stilled her movements, turning to look down at Soyo’s hand, and then up at her, “What?”
Her expression was a laughable attempt to be stern, but after such a sight, Soyo knew better. She pressed further without thinking, pulling Taki into her arms with only a bit of defiance from the other. After a moment of squirming and denying the affection, the girl relaxed in her arms, resting her forehead on Soyo’s shoulder. This was the first time the two had ever hugged, and for some reason it felt more natural than either of them could have expected.
After another brief moment of silence, Taki spoke in a whisper, “A part of me still hates Sakiko, you know.”
“Me too.” Soyo replied bluntly, “Mutsumi too.”
The girl tilted her head to look upward at the other, “Really? Even after everything with Mortis?”
“I said a part of me hates Mutsumi, I didn’t say anything about Mortis.” She scowled back, “She lied to me for months, hid behind my back, knew things I didn’t — I can’t let go of that so easily. Saki, too.”
Taki burrowed a bit more into the other absentmindedly, “You think you’ll ever forgive them?”
“I forgave you, didn’t I?” Soyo teased in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Besides, another, much larger part of me already has.”
The drummer hummed in acknowledgment, before quietly snaking her arms around the girl’s waist. Neither of them said anything when Taki squeezed her a bit tighter, as if testing the waters of what would be considered okay between the two. Following her lead, for no particular reason than personal satisfaction and comfort, Soyo ran her fingers through Taki’s long, silky hair, brushing the tips down her back as she did so.
She smiled, the motion reminded her of petting a kicked puppy, tail between her legs and looking for a home. When she was like this, Taki was surprisingly cute.
Soyo sighed, “There are some things we can’t express to Tomori, huh?” Hearing that name made Taki visibly tense, yet Soyo continued to stroke her hair, “Is that why you followed me home instead of her?”
“It’s not like I’m avoiding her or anything…” She trailed off in a weak defense.
“There are just some things you can’t say to her.” The other finished her sentence, “I get it.”
Guilt wracked Taki’s mind further as she realized just what position she was in. Going home with Soyo instead of Tomori, what was the drummer thinking? They always went home together, she was being ridiculous. In a spur of the moment decision, she was betraying her own emotions to fulfill old feelings — feelings that should be buried.
But Soyo’s embrace was incredibly warm.
Warm in a way she never would have expected from the generally cold woman. It seemed after spending those days with Mortis, she was able to truly express care for others again, especially to those she had forgiven. Another side of Taki began moving, a side that had never been explored. When would she ever be this close to Soyo again, and when would anyone other than Soyo understand how much CRYCHIC had once meant to her, how much it will forever mean? Who else other than Soyo will hold the negative feelings in her heart just a little longer than others?
This was stupid. Her desire to stay attached to Soyo was stupid, and Taki stayed in silence much longer than she anticipated, before the silence broke once more by the woman in question.
“Thank you.”
She glanced up at Soyo, who was looking into nothing behind Taki. “For what?”
“For following me home.” Her statement was true, she was grateful the two had each other, despite how different she had felt mere moments before. If that decision never happened, who knows what other self destructive tendency she would have done.
“Well, um,” Taki cleared her throat, clearly a bit flustered, “Thank you for letting me come in.”
“It’s nothing, really.” The woman responded, watching her fingers tangle and untangle, “A part of me is happy that there are some things you can only show to me.”
Taki replied by shoving her face further in Soyo’s shoulder, the tips of her ears red, “… Me too.”
The woman smirked at her reaction, the feeling of a smile gracing her lips rather refreshing, “Is this the reaction Tomori gets to see every day after school?”
“Hah!?” Taki shot up, her entire face now red, and locked eyes with the other, “What the hell are you talking about!? Tomori is way too pure to see me in this kind of state!”
Soyo raised an eyebrow at the expression, moving her hand up Taki’s back to lightly dig into her scalp, “Yet another part of you that only I’ve seen. Well, and Anon, I suppose.”
The woman resisted the urge to lean into the touch, instead opting to lean forward in an attempt at intimidation instead, “Don’t bring up Anon, that isn’t fair. I’m sure if she saw us in this situation, she’d be snapping photos and totally ruining the mood.”
The bassist nodded, a memory of the many times that woman had joked about Taki and Soyo getting together spinning in her mind. “Well, I suppose that’s what happens when you share a girlfriend.”
They weren’t the types of people to smile at the mention of another, but with Anon in the equation it was hard not to. She was a full, well rounded person who truly brought them, the new them, together. Even as they sat alone, it’s only because of Anon that their old band ever had a reunion.
“But still,” Taki spoke, “I can’t really talk to her about this. I mean, she’d get it, but she wouldn’t … get it, not like you do.”
Soyo solemnly smiled, “I never talk about this with anyone. The last time I really did, it was when I was .. doing something very, very pathetic towards Saki or Mutsumi. Now that it’s over, I feel like you’re the only one who I can truly rely on.” She moved her thumb to absentmindedly rub the back of Taki’s head, “The only one who understands.”
The connection between the two was undeniable at that point, and they could feel it. Taki was practically sitting on Soyo’s lap, her hand tangled in her hair, their faces close. After everything the two had experienced that day alone, it would be so easy to lean forward, to initiate contact, and Soyo knew it.
But she wouldn’t. No, Soyo had done more than enough terrible things before, and just because they were both separately dating Anon didn’t mean they had anything else in common. They were both simply tired, emotionally torn up, exhausted of it all. She shook the thought out of her head and released her hand, leaning back in an attempt to get up.
Until Taki grabbed her by the sides of her face, and suddenly it didn’t matter anymore.
The only thing that mattered was their lips crashing together with a powerful force that only Taki could manage to give. Soyo’s face burned with embarrassment and desire, and she wasted no time in reciprocating the affection. Her hands moved back to where they once were, tangling deep into the dark brown strands of the woman’s hair, pulling her closer as their mouths moved against each other. Unlike their rendition of Haruhikage from earlier that day, the two instrumentalists worked together as if it was second nature, a beautiful melody of soft breaths and gasps filling the room in perfect synchrony.
Taki had managed to find her way on top of Soyo and properly pinned her against the couch, her back fully against the cushion beneath the two of them. Her hair spread like a halo around the woman, and a curtain of brown covered her face from above, locking the two in a private sanctuary of only the other. In there, nothing ever changed, time never moved forward, and only the other existed.
When they finally parted, if only because they couldn’t breathe, Taki looked down at the other. Swollen lips, bangs sticking to her forehead, she had never realized until then just how beautiful Soyo was. Upon that realization, she went in for seconds, and was happily accepted in doing so.
It wasn’t fair, everything that happened to the two of them. It wasn’t fair that CRYCHIC was short lived, that their memories of being young and happy together became soured in the months of pain afterwards. It wasn’t fair that both of them were supposed to be happier now, in their new band, with their new members, and it wasn’t fair that they were happier. The balance between comfort and hurt was delicate, and the two women seemed to dance on the beam like there was no end. No one could understand that but the other, and the relief in sharing their taste, the relief in becoming one with the other was unlike anything either of them had felt before.
It wasn’t until thunder cracked that Soyo jumped with a start, causing them to slam foreheads.
“Fuck—!” They exclaimed nearly in tandem, hands flying from each other’s bodies to their own skin.
Taki rubbed her head, opening one eye to look back down at Soyo, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”
“Yeah? You’ve also never slammed heads with me before.”
She bit the inside of her cheek, red still staining the outside, “Seems like we’re doing a lot of new things today, huh?”
Soyo couldn’t help but stammer a bit at that comment, her guard completely down from what had just happened. She leaned up on her elbows, looking away as she stated, “You started it.”
“So?” Taki shot back, “You liked it.”
“So?” She responded back before thinking, eliciting a smirk from the other.
The bassist furrowed her eyebrows in annoyance. She was absolutely going to wipe that stupid look off her face.
She pushed herself forward, flipping their position so that Taki now had her back to the sofa, and locked lips once more. This time, neither of them were remotely embarrassed by it, accepting the other easily and moving as if it was something they did all the time. Maybe we should, Soyo thought to herself as her tongue teased Taki’s bottom lip, eliciting a small noise as she opened her mouth carefully.
God, she’s cute. Both of their minds raced with the same thoughts as Soyo straddled her, Taki running her hands through the back of her hair, pushing her down further to deepen the kiss. It was intoxicating, it was thrilling, it felt like opening a wound, yet washing it clean. This feeling, this rush was one only one could give to the other, and they both had a feeling the rush would be lasting many, many hours.
That was until a few minutes later, when the weight of the couch shifted further, and the women disconnected from each other with both disappointment and confusion.
Click!
A familiar face took a photo of the two, her fanged smile wide, “After seeing the show, I knew this would happen. I’m glad I came over after dropping Tomori off.”
Confusion shifted to annoyance as both women eyed their girlfriend, her smile only widening with their expressions. Soyo snatched the phone out of grip as Taki grabbed her wrist, pulling her in.
It may have ended, and it may have barely happened in the first place, but there were certain memories that the two would cherish for the rest of their lives. Now that CRYCHIC was gone, the future of the women would be much brighter, much happier, and full of much greater possibilities than they could have expected. Together, they would embark on a new journey, with a smile guiding their way.
An annoying, fanged smile, but a smile nonetheless.