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nightmare blunt rotation

Summary:

basially dave smokes weed w alastor.. it escalates not jn a freaky way in a the house is on fire way

Notes:

i have nothing to say for myself

Work Text:

dave was walkinh uo to buy weed frim the weed store when he spotred an orange man. “IS THAG SPORTSY???” he yelled joyously. the man turned around. it was an ugly bitch with a HORRID haircut and a stupid stuoid stupid smile.

“no im afraid it istn…” alsstor hasbina hotel grimly stated.

“bb.. but..yer orange like him.. i jus ttthohght..” dave sighed.

“im red you stupid bitch are you colorblind???????”

“oh waittttt that makes a lotta sense. “

“you dissapoint me.”

“hey red man wanna smoke weed together”

absolotely not.”

“ cmonnnn itlle be FUN just live a little”

“well.. i dont have anything better to do.. i suppose ill have to agree.”

“aw HELL yeah.”
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As they smoked together alastor got less and less up tight, he began to sit less regally and more weed-ally. he began to get red in the face (and eyes) as the hot boxed their room, Dave put his hand on alastor’s hip “so.. does hell have hot bitches” Dave slurred out due to his poorly animated mouth “no...” said alastor, before guiding Dave’s hand onto the couch they were sitting on. And scooting away.
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Dave sighed a sigh of relief that he would never have to see that overrated radio bastard man ever again. But suddenly, it dawned on the guy. Alastod left his mid ass shoe!! Dave gasped in horror as the fumes started rising from the lobster-colored moron's slutty ass boots. Dave screeched in horror as his lungs filled up with Alastor's stank. He needed to do something FAST!! But what??
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dave quickly used his blunt to set fire to the boot. which immediately proved to be a bad idea bedause nnot only did the boot stink MORE if that was lossible, but it also set his carpet on fire.
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“SHIT MY CARPET” yelled Dave before stomping out the fire, which only caught fire more, making a more fire-ish fire, which fired more across his very fire filled foyer filled his face with flushed flames across his flaming flames flamiest fire. “Whelp guess this is the fire room” said the absolutely zooted Dave as he walked out of the room gingerly. grabbing his blunt
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Dave nonchalantly walked out of the fire room like a gigachad because he has insurance. But he turned back! And that was his worst mistake. As the flames got closer and closer Dave's high ass saw that they were orange. Orange... Like Jack!!!! High Dave rushed back into the fire room to see his Sportsy again!! But it was fire. Dave noticed just in time! He frantically put his clothes back on as he rushed out of the house. Alastod was over across the street watching old game theory episodes when Dave threw the blunt at him! Alastor burned to a crisp d