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The flowers died on Monday.
Maybe it was a sign for them all, but either way, it was already too late to do anything.
The flowers died on Monday, which is ironic, because they were the most beautiful on Sunday. Maybe that is why it's not.
And the same flower that smiles today,
tomorrow will be dying.
This must've been what Herrick was talking about.
They really were beautiful, though, with the thin layre of snow covering the blue petals, not yet killing it.
He told Neil about it, then again on Monday.
"You already told me that," Neil said in a whisper from his own bed.
A small smile sounding in his voice as he remarked.
"I know." Todd replied silently.
The next day, Neil died.
It was quick, and it was unexpected.
The next day, part of Todd died too, the one that was his best, probably.
He ran to the dock. He didn't remember running there. it was all too much, too early, too sad.
It was now Wednesday morning, or was it still? Todd wasn't sure how much time had passed.
He cried, then he stoped and couldn't cry anymore. He wanted to cry, Neil deserved his tears, but he couldn't.
It was cold, but he could barely feel it, his mind drifting to better times, to happier memories, to the ones where neil was alive.
He sat there for what felt like hours, then he found his way back to his room.
Charlie called to him. Todd didn't hear, or did he just ignore.
He lied down on Neil's bed, not even noticing.
Now the tears did come again, falling on the pillow in a muted sound, the dead boy's soft sweet smell surrounding him.
Todd tried to wipe his tears to not destroy it.
There is a knock on the door, followed by, "Todd? This is Charlie."
Charlie's voice is gentle.
"Todd, can i come in?"
Todd says nothing.
The door opens, and charlie comes in. "You alright?"
All that Todd can do is shake his head. "N- no."
"Right," Charlie sits on the bed. "right... sorry, stupid question."
Without even looking, Todd knows that Charlie's face are red from crying.
He never saw Charlie crying, but he knows he did.
The halls are full with silance instead of with the chattering sound of young boys laughing together, and he wonders if the rumor had spread. But is wasn't a rumor. Neil is dead.
None of them say anything, they're just there together, in silent, on Neil's bed.
Charlie speaks after a long, heavy, moment of silence. So heavy their shoulders started sinking. Or was it just the grif.
"What?" Todd asks, his voice shaking from crying.
"Do you need anything?"
"...No," the answer comes in a whisper.
"Alright." Charlie whispers back.
The silence hits back, until, once again, Charlie speaks.
"Just, if you ever need someth-" "Can you just leave me alone?" Todd snaps, sitting up. His face are red from crying, and the blue in his eyes almost burns. Charlie stares at him a long moment, then he shakes his head.
"No, not a chance."
Todd stares back. He looks like he might cry again. "Fuck off," he says eventually, lying down again.
"Sorry, man," Charlie shrugs, leaning against the wall. "Can't leave you like this."
"Fuck off." Todd repeats.
Charlie laughs, muttering "okay," but remaining in his place.
Back into silence, and it's long and heavy until silent sobs cut it.
Charlie's eyes soften. "Todd?"
"I miss him," Todd whispers, his voice thick with tears. "I miss him so much..."
"You saw him yesterday." Charlie says silently, but even he doesn't seem to feel better by that. Why does it matter that they saw him yesterday if he's gone? No one but Todd is there to see Charlie wiping tears, and Todd didn't look.
"But I won't see him tomorrow,"
"Right..." eventually, Charlie rests his hand on Todd's to get his attention. "Sit up," he says. "I need a hug."
Todd sniffs and wipes his tears with the back of his hand, but he sits up, and Charlie hugs him. "It's gonna be alright," he whispers, half to himself, but mainly to Todd.
"Is it?"
"It will, i promise."
"It will..."
"It will."
"But how?" Todd asks, begging for an explanation, for logic in Charlie's words. They both know what he's asking. How can it be alright if Neil is gone?
Charlie doesn't have an answer for that, so he tightens his hug. "Get some rest, alright?"
"You're not answering," Todd tries to pull away, to get an answer from Charlie's eyes, but the grip in him is too strong.
"Relax," Charlie tells him silently. "Try to sleep, okay?
"Charlie-" Todd begs, but Charlie hushes him, holding him close like a baby. "Stop it." Todd mutters. "Then stop fighting. Go to sleep."
Todd sighs, and this time, Charlie lets him go. As he lies down, Todd whispers, "Think it's a dream?"
"What?" charlie asks.
"Do you think it's just a nightmare? That Neil's not really... you know?"
Charlie sighs. "I dont know, Toddie,"
"Do you, though?"
"I- I dont know. Maybe. Maybe it's just a dream."
"Then maybe I'll wake up and see him," Todd whispers.
"Please don't," Charlie whispers back, but it's too late already. Todd is deep asleep, and Charlie can't see another option but staying there and keep an eye on his friend.