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“Xbalanque, are you sure about this?”
Perhaps it’s because they have spent too much time together since the day Xbalanque took him back to the tribe as a prisoner of war, but even with his eyes closed, he can imagine–no, he knows that Och-Kan’s brows are scrunched and his eyes are filled with worry just from the slight tremble in his voice.
Still lying on his back, Xbalanque opens his eyes. Scrunched brows, golden eyes narrowed with an equal measure of worry and hesitation, the slightly downturned lips–the face he saw in his mind a moment before is hovering right over his face.
He knows he shouldn't be smiling, not when Och-Kan, with his pure, beautiful, and noble heart, is genuinely worried that their idea–his, as Och-Kan repeatedly claimed–may become nothing more than another burn scar on his face and body.
But he can't help himself. Seeing Och-Kan’s face over his, worry practically dripping from his eyes like this invites a tickling sensation to bloom in his stomach.
“Lanque.”
His smile widens into a grin when a fond exasperation spreads across Och-Kan's face at his reminder to call him by his nickname. He lifts his face and sighs so deeply Xbalanque can hear his thoughts even without him having to voice them.
I’m worried he’ll hurt himself by carving Phlogiston on his body and he chose to remind me about what I call him instead?
Well, Och-Kan would never say or think about it exactly like that, but Xbalanque bets it was something along those lines.
Before Och-Kan’s exasperation from his teasing grows any further, Xbalanque grips his hand –the one holding a bowl of Liquid Phlogiston–preventing him from getting up and leaving him alone in the underground cave a little ways away from the Huitzlan settlement.
“It's fiiinnee. Trust me,” Xbalanque looks straight into Och-Kan's golden eyes, pouring all his charms into his gaze to not-so-subtly push Och-Kan into yielding to his whim.
If there's one thing Xbalanque knows and will readily admit about himself, it's that he's cunning as a fox. And shameless. He knows exactly what his charms are, what he is strong at, and he won't hesitate to use them to get what he wants.
And unfortunately for Och-Kan, there's nothing he wants more now than testing his idea and teasing Och-Kan until the other boy’s face turns into a pretty shade of red.
Och-Kan looks down at him. His beautiful golden eyes then flit to his hand, still gripping his. He narrows his eyes further, his eyes full of accusations he never dares to voice.
Xbalanque doesn't think Och-Kan does it on purpose, but he pouts slightly whenever he gives him that accusatory look.
It's cute.
It's too cute that it's taking all of Xbalanque's self-control not to sit up and kiss those adorable, pouty lips until they're swollen and both of them breathless.
If only Och-Kan initiates things the way he does, then he wouldn't be so unsure about the other boy’s feelings and keep edging his toes testing the boundaries like this.
“Och-Kan, hey, it's fine. Really. You know I’m tougher than I look,” Xbalanque’s voice loses its usual teasing tilt to it, turning gentle when Och-Kan still doesn't budge.
Och-Kan averts his gaze. “I know. But this is Liquid Phlogiston. What if you ended up with severe burns instead of a Phlogiston Engraving? And even if, let's say, I did successfully paint a Phlogiston Engraving on your body, like these strange marks on mine, it still doesn't guarantee that you'll be able to freely use Phlogiston like the dragons or I do. You might just end up with a strange tattoo at best and burns all over your body at worst. There's no telling how our experiment will turn out, and I’m worried that you’ll only be hurt. I don't want you to be hurt, Lanque.”
Och-Kan’s face crumples as he speaks about the pain Xbalanque might have to unnecessarily endure, as if he were the one getting a Phlogiston tattoo instead of Xbalanque and could already feel the pain even before the searing hot liquid even touched his skin.
“Hey,” Xbalanque lets go of Och-Kan’s hand to caress the other boy's cheek, pulling his eyes back to him. “It's okay. We won't know until we try, remember?”
When Och-Kan still doesn't seem convinced, he adds, “If there's a possibility, no matter how slim, of us obtaining the power dragons possess to use Phlogiston by doing this, then it's worth trying.”
Xbalanque’s red eyes hold Och-Kan’s golden ones. The Huitzlan boy pours all the reassurance he can muster into his gaze, hoping it reaches the other boy and quells the gnawing worry inside him.
Saurians’ cry in the distance and the sigh of wind inside the cave fill the atmosphere between them until Xbalanque, unable to hold himself back from shattering the quiet, tender moment they rarely have, opens his mouth and shrugs as he nonchalantly adds, “Well, if I do get hurt, you can always give me a kiss. You know, to chase away the pain.”
Surprise flashes in Och-Kan's eyes as he gapes. His eyebrows knit deeper the more time passes, no doubt his brilliant mind’s trying hard to make sense of the words Xbalanque just blurted out.
Och-Kan being an overthinker is usually a good thing. He’s the brain of their group after all. It's one of his jobs to think about all possibilities, all the possible implications hidden in one’s words to find a leeway they can exploit. But at times like these, Xbalanque sure hopes he stops overworking his brain and just accepts his words as they are.
Because he means them exactly like what Och-Kan thinks they may mean at the moment. No other implication.
Well, even though Xbalanque almost desperately wishes he would be lucky enough to get a kiss right now, he knows Och-Kan too well to know that the boy will overthink things and stop functioning altogether, and he will have to try his luck another day.
He should be satisfied with only getting a flushed face from Och-Kan tonight.
Xbalanque waits a second, two seconds until the other boy gasps and a lovely shade of red bursts across the other boy's golden skin. From his cheeks all the way down his neck.
Xbalanque's brows shoot up.
Now that’s new. Och-Kan’s face had never flushed this hard before.
Then again, Xbalanque never tried suggesting the other boy to give him a kiss before either.
He should do it often.
There is a mysterious, uncharacteristic low growl that Xbalanque realizes too late is coming from the boy over him until he leans down, anger adorning his face.
Before Xbalanque can open his lips and utter a quick, not-so-sincere apology, Och-Kan leans down even lower, dangerously closer to his face if he may add, and snatches his wrist.
“That wasn't funny, Lanque,” Och-Kan’s lips curl into something close to a snarl, the fangs he usually conceals carefully now showing as he lightly squeezes his wrist. “Stop making jokes like that.”
Staring straight into Och-Kan's golden eyes, Xbalanque, mesmerized, quietly whispers, “or what? Are you gonna do it for real and see if I’ll like it?”
Actually, I will. Very much are the words bubbling in his throat, threatening to break out of his lips.
Actually, Xbalanque's so close to begging the other boy to just do something, anything to let him know what he feels about him, free him of this miserable, almost painful limbo of having to guess if his crush reciprocates his feelings or it’s always been one-sided all along.
But of course, just like all the other times Xbalanque tried his luck, Och-Kan breaks their stare-off first. He leans back as he chucks his wrist angrily and lets out a long, tired sigh.
“Just don't do it again, okay?”
Och-Kan grumbles under his breath while pouting slightly, as he picks up the abandoned bowl of Liquid Phlogiston, still visibly annoyed at Xbalanque's earlier antics though his earlier words lack actual bite. Perhaps he is deliberately trying to show that he's upset. To make sure his words get across.
Well, he did get his words across. It's just that Xbalanque doesn't really want to heed them unless Och-Kan gives him a clear rejection of his advances.
Xbalanque's sure he’s caught onto his hints. The other boy's mind is too sharp not to realize them when he's been very open about them for some time now. So what is it that makes him reluctant to accept his advances, but also unwilling to give him a clear rejection?
Honestly, a simple “I don't like it” or “I don't like you that way” would suffice.
Och-Kan may be kind, sometimes he's kind to a fault, but so far, he has been very straightforward with his words. He doesn't sugarcoat things, and he has been very frank with his thoughts and feelings with him. That's why he likes him in the first place.
That is also why Och-Kan's attempt at skirting around Xbalanque’s effort to gauge his feelings makes little to no sense to the Huitzlan boy.
If he has to guess, it's probably his mind that refuses to believe what he thinks the hints he’s been throwing his way may mean.
Could it be because of his insecurities?
Xbalanque's known for quite some time now that Och-Kan has complicated feelings about dragons, humans, and his identity that’s seemingly teetering between the two. Because of that, he often found the other boy hesitant to initiate things with him and the tribespeople, be it a talk or a touch.
But he thought he had made it clear that he had accepted him fully and saw him as an equal, regardless of his identity or where he came from.
His heart turns heavy at the thought. For someone whose heart is seemingly brimming with love and compassion for others, he is awfully stingy with them when it comes to himself.
Well, if Och-Kan’s insecurity really is the source of the problem, then he supposes he should just try harder. He will amp up his efforts in showing Och-Kan that he is no different from them and that he is now a part of the tribe, and at the same time, he will also level up his advances until Och-Kan can't help but accept them.
“You ready?”
Och-Kan’s question as he lifts the bowl of Liquid Phlogiston and dips his index and middle fingers into it cuts off Xbalanque's train of thought, prompting him to close his eyes and brace for the upcoming pain.
His closing his eyes was taken as a yes by Och-Kan. The next moment, Och-Kan’s fingers, coated with the liquid flame, touch his shoulder, drawing runes on it all while extracting hisses and pained groans from deep inside Xbalanque's throat.
Searing pain followed by the smell of burning flesh, his flesh, makes it a little harder for him to think of something other than the runes being carved on his skin with Liquid Phlogiston by his crush’s hand.
The pain is excruciating. It far exceeds his expectation. It’s only thanks to his strong will that he's able to stay as still as he possibly can throughout the process. Even then, it takes almost all of his concentration not to writhe in pain and lose consciousness.
After about an hour that feels like it stretches into ten years and searing pain all over his face and body, Och-Kan stops his fingers and pours the remaining Liquid Phlogiston in the bowl in his hand into the pool they scooped it from.
“It's done. Now let's wait until the Phlogiston Engraving cools down,” Och-Kan says quietly as he gently brushes Xbalanque's bangs away from his face and tenderly wipes the trickling sweat on his temple.
Prompted by the rare touch Och-Kan decided to grace him, Xbalanque nuzzles his face into the boy's hand. Though he admits it's a bit ridiculous for him to feel this happy over a single touch, he still relishes the feeling of their skin meeting.
He supposes their little experiment isn't entirely fruitless since he gets a free touch from Och-Kan. It hurts so much he feels like screaming, sure, but it’s worth it.
If only he knew that he was only a Phlogiston Engraving experiment away from getting Och-Kan's touch unprompted.
He silently curses his past self for not thinking of this brilliant idea sooner.
Och-Kan's gentle hand brushing his bangs fans the hope in his chest that maybe, just maybe, Och-Kan likes him the way he likes the boy. It makes it harder for him to give up on trying to ascertain the other’s feelings.
Breathing still labored from trying to endure the pain, his cunning mind starts turning, trying to come up with ways to get his way.
The pulsing pain from the skin carved with Liquid Phlogiston gives him an idea that may or may not get Och-Kan angry at him again. Two days. In about two days, he will try suggesting Och-Kan again to kiss him better.
Two days should be enough to let today's teasing off Och-Kan's mind so he won't get too angry later.
Well, judging from the pain he's feeling, he's quite sure it will take a few days for him to fully recover anyway. Technically, he won't be lying about the Phlogiston Engraving on his skin hurting like hell, so maybe Och-Kan will fall for it, and he will get what he wants for once.
Kind of deceitful, yes, and Och-Kan will surely get mad at him if he knows.
But he doesn't need to know.
Xbalanque sighs from his nose. He really hopes his next teasing gets him the answer he desires, so he won't need to keep doing this deceitful act for long.
He may not see the world in clear black and white as Och-Kan does, but tricking his crush like this still hurts his conscience.