Chapter Text
“What are you doing here?”
Siwoo momentarily stops in his tracks and takes a slow turnaround as he’s trying to believe what he hears and sees. As if it’s Park fucking Jaehyuk standing in the hallway right in front of him.
He has to let go of Minseok's hand in order to cartoonishly wipe his eyes. When even after that the illusion doesn't fade, Siwoo begins to greedily examine the old acquaintance. Jaehyuk's eyes are aimed directly at him, refusing to leave his face as if he physically can't look away. His lips are pressed into a thin line, and his face shows no emotion at first glance. Everything about his features and facial expression is so familiar that Siwoo almost wants to shiver from the overwhelming jolt of nostalgia. As soon as the cue reaches his brain, he remembers about the composure and pulls a familiar smile onto his face.
"Who do I see! Park Jaehyuk in flesh and blood!" Minseok looks up at the coach uncertainly, tugging at his pants. Prior to the unusual interruption they walked, completing the column of their team; so the rest of the kids move forward a bit before pausing and looking around confusedly for their chaperone and junior.
Jaehyuk doesn't answer— and still doesn't tear his gaze away, which makes Siwoo's smile waver slightly, but he quickly pulls himself together.
“You're still dressing like shit, I see,” Siwoo makes a conscious effort to look away from his acquaintance's face and look over him head to toe. In truth, he's wearing a completely generic tracksuit, just like most of the people around him. The only difference is that he's not wearing any specific logos, like the junior hockey club that Siwoo and his companions are associated with. At that point, these same companions are approaching their coach, squinting questioningly at the reason for his abrupt stop. Siwoo's empty smile slightly falters a second time, turning a bit nervous: he doesn't want the children to be witnesses of this conversation.
Jaehyuk, meanwhile, opens his mouth as if to say something, but instantly changes his mind and presses his lips shut again. As Siwoo is being encircled by more and more kids, the old acquaintance finally takes his eyes off his face and absent-mindedly surveys his surroundings. Suddenly, his gaze becomes familiar; cold, the one that makes Siwoo's knees bend on their own; and his mouth curves into a patronizing smirk.
“Are you for real?”
The stranger's words make the kids tense up: Minseok squeezes even more into Siwoo's pants, while Jihoon and Hyunjoon — the oldest kids in the club who are standing beside him — lean forward slightly, scowling. Siwoo, noticing the shift among the teens, instantly claps them both on the back with all his might, causing them to lose their balance and stagger awkwardly. "What are you stuck here for? Coach Kim is already waiting for you in the common room, so just go. You only have a couple of steps left." He waves dismissively toward the end of the hallway, where the buzzing and ruckus of a huge number of teams can be heard behind a large door. He remembers, or rather, Kiin's admonishments about not leaving the children on their own while being escorted have been hammered into his mind, but they only have to make it to the end of the hallway, and the boys who remain with him are grown up enough - the only one he can't leave behind is 5-year-old Ryu Minseok, who is now trying to merge with his leg.
He shifts his gaze to the youngest member of the hockey club, ruffling the latter's head. Minseok lifts his adorable face up, squinting slightly against the lamps, and Siwoo remembers his route.
“I have to take Minseokie to the restroom anyway, so go already,” he nudges the confused teens towards the door, taking the child's hand again and turning his head back to Jaehyuk. "Talk to you later? I'll be free in an hour, come to hall number three."
Jaehyuk nods, keeping his eyes on Siwoo. "We have a lot to discuss."
Jihoon and Hyunjoon, who are only slightly moved away from the couple, look at each other strainedly: Siwoo has deliberately chosen a training time that he doesn't need to attend.
As the guy with the kid walks towards the restroom, multiple pairs of eyes follow him.
……
"I thought you were playing in the national youth team now. What's your celebrity ass doing in a place like this?" Siwoo is glancing around the empty cheap cafeteria they had decided to chat in. Most of the kids who had gathered for training camp were currently practicing in the gymnasiums or resting after arriving, which meant the lobby and cafeteria were half-empty.
“Oh, so you were interested in what I was up to?” Jaehyuk doesn't answer the question and only smirks, causing Siwoo to roll his eyes.
"I wish I was. Wangho."
“Ah, right.” Jaehyuk's smirk doesn't fade at the disappointing reveal, but only lightens. Of course their restless classmate is telling him everything, who would doubt it. Siwoo has no intention of continuing the conversation without an answer, and his companion sighs defeatedly. "Fine. I was asked to referee the finals. I thought that coming for just one game would be too boring."
“'And that's why you came for a week?” Siwoo arches his eyebrows questioningly, “You're the one who hates kids, aren't you?”
“You too, actually.” Jaehyuk's gaze is intense, looking around from head to toe at Siwoo in his junior club coaching uniform. Siwoo traces his gaze and straightens up a little.
“Oh, this?” He pretends to realize Jaehyuk's comment slower than he actually did and takes a second to examine his own uniform, “Yeah, we have all sorts of little bastards playing here. You have no idea how much of my blood they drained," Siwoo chuckles, remembering his youngsters. There isn't an ounce of malice in his grin. Biting his lip, he casts a glance at the guy on the other side of the table, as if calculating in advance reaction to his next words. "Kiin invited me, and I accepted. At that point, I was already... done with everything."
“Seriously, working with that dullness?” Jaehyuk's face wrinkles up mockingly, and Siwoo thinks of himself from the past: how he'd similarly wrinkle his face if he found out about his current life. He’s lucky he changed.
“He's a good friend,” Siwoo shrugs, not dwelling on the subject. “Helped me with moving from that shithole... to my current shithole.”
Jaehyuk studies him carefully, then leans back in his chair and sips his coffee. He’s not buying Siwoo’s cheap jokes today, or maybe there’s something more important for him to inquire into.
“A friend, you say?”
“Why, are you jealous?” Siwoo fires back at the first opportunity with a wide grin on his face. Jaehyuk doesn't even frown at such a stupid bait, and instead thinks about how much he's missed this kind of thing. The athlete was so used to the antics of his old acquaintance that time had only made him appreciate them even more. Still, there was something new and unique about Siwoo. Even though he talked as loudly and as much as usual, and even though he was generally all over the place, in the depths of his eyes Jaehyuk could feel a peace. Like he has found a stability in his life that has allowed him to finally relax on some very deep level. He's got older, Jaehyuk thinks, and that realization is somewhat occupying his thoughts. When he comes up with an answer, Siwoo is already distracted by a series of text messages (apparently from Kiin) that have caused his phone to almost fall off from the table.
“Yeah, they definitely wouldn’t have let you in with the kids before.” The athlete's words make the coach immediately look up from his phone.
“Thanks for the compliment,” Siwoo smiles coyly. Jaehyuk is not at all certain he's praising an old acquaintance, but he's not about to argue with his conclusion. The kids coach is leaning forward. "So, are you going to tell me in detail the stuff Wangho has been unceremoniously pestering me with for the past two years? How's the youth team? And why Mr. I_hate_children decided to spend an entire week in this godforsaken place instead of, like, fucking around in the offseason?"
“I'm not dating anyone.” Jaehyuk is not interested in answering a thousand and one questions, but he feels the need to clarify this point.
"Oh? Where did our fuckboy Park Jaehyuk go?" Siwoo smirks, remembering obviously embarrassing things from their high school days. "I always thought you were obligated to find yourself some hot chick once you settled down. Without kids, obviously."
“Just never seemed to catch on,” Jaehyuk decides to give in, staring right into Siwoo's eyes. “There was no spark.” The guy across the table swallows, and Jaehyuk traces the way his Adam's apple lifts and then drops. Grinning, he leans back. "Now that I've told you... How are you doing in the love department?"
“I didn't have anyone after... after that one,” Siwoo chews his cheek, his bad habit from the old days, “There was too much to do.” In thought, the coach casts a glance at companion from under his eyelashes, as if doubting his own insinuation. After a little while, he finally utters the words Jaehyuk is so eager to hear. “And there aren't many potential candidates of my type hanging around.”
The implication makes Jaehyuk's grin grow wider.
……
Siwoo heads back with mixed feelings. For the entire hour that they sat in the cafeteria, they discussed their current lives, with Siwoo teasing Jaehyuk as an arrogant pro athlete an endless number of times, while Jaehyuk never stopped commenting about babysitting in return. He was generally quite amused by the circumstances in which they met and how much Siwoo had changed since their last interaction, in their endless string of nitpicking he never stopped repeating it. During this time, they had never once directly discussed what had happened to them in the past, but in all their bickering about their current employment and heated discussions about the hockey championship finals, there was something familiar. It was evident in the way Jaehyuk smirked at Siwoo's attempts to escape certain questions, in the way he sometimes watched Siwoo's movements intently, in the way he carefully dropped jokes about matters of days gone by. All of this confused Siwoo, took him out of his established routine, and as a result caused him to withdraw into his own thoughts.
Once he comes back to his kids at the rink, his disarray naturally reaches a level where those around him are beginning to notice his condition. When the coach enters the gym the younger group of their hockey club is already warming up to go out on the ice. Kiin, who hadn't even asked why Siwoo needed time off before, greets his colleague, but he doesn't seem to notice him. Still immersed in his own thoughts, Siwoo sits down in the front seats, absent-mindedly watching the children milling around. The oldest kids on the team, who have already left the ice, are tensely watching their spaced-out coach.
“I definitely heard Siwoo-hyung agreeing to talk to that weird guy at the break,” Jeon Jihoon, one of the older kids, takes the other two senior members of the team aside to talk.
"Isn't that ‘strange guy’ a member of the youth team...? They must have been close some time ago" Hong Changhyun, another senior member of the team, waves it off as he takes off his goalie helmet. “Don't be jelly that hyung used to fight with someone else before us.”
Jihoon is moving aside, letting one of the youngsters, 8-year-old Suhwan, to brush through him with a polite nod, and mutters under his breath, “Still doesn’t make the guy any less strange though”.
Choi Hyunjoon laughs at teasing, causing Jihoon to scowl. As another witness to their coach's suspicious encounter with the sportsman, Hyunjoon tells Changhyun about it shortly before practice, as he's seen the stranger's face before among the youth league. Nevertheless, the encounter with the athlete gives a muddled impression, and Hyunjoon doesn't even know what to think about it while his friends are discussing the news. Still, the player's distraction allows him to spot their coach in time, so he can abruptly drag the two friends behind a small partition as the elder walks by. Kiin takes a seat in the first row near Siwoo, not noticing the lurking teenagers that usually hang around in the upper rows after their practice. The boys duck down, not really understanding why they're hiding in the first place. After a couple seconds, Changhyun is about to stand up, but his two friends yank him to sit back down, shushing at him when their first coach starts talking.
“I gave the youngsters fifteen minutes before the practice”.
Kiin leans back in his seat, relaxing for the first time in a couple of hours. They sit with Siwoo in silence for a few minutes, and the older members of the team think about crawling away from under the partition, but suddenly their elder coach speaks up.
“Jaehyuk is here”.
“What?!” Kiin turns his head in bewilderment as Siwoo continues to observe the kids melancholically.
“We just talked.”
Kiin examines Siwoo appraisingly before shifting his gaze to the ice. “Is everything alright?”
“Hard to tell,” Siwoo takes his time to assess his own condition. “Could be worse.”
“Surely anything will be better than the time when he left you,” Kiin scoffs.
"Don't compare such things. I was at my lowest back then."
Kiin doesn't want to comment on this. The two coaches watch as a child nearly falls on the ice right in front of them, but keeps his balance and then cheerfully catches up with his friends. The teenagers who are eavesdropping on the conversation glance at each other anxiously.
“... I'm glad you're here.” Kiin looks at Siwoo, and the utmost seriousness can be read in his voice. “You're doing so well.”
It is almost endearing, from Siwoo's point of view. He smiles slightly as he quietly replies to his friend.
“Yeah, I'm glad too.” Siwoo twirls the whistle in his hands. "Actually, Jaehyuk is doing well too. Probably even better than me, considering..." The thought takes Siwoo to a strange place, and he feels ashamed at his own naivete. It's a little late for him to be building air castles. Embarrassed, he doesn't give Kiin a chance to interject or respond as he stands up and blows his whistle almost immediately. Yelling at the pack of kids on the ice, he pulls a strict look on his face and runs toward them.
"Hey! Minseok, what have I told you before? Don't shove your friends! Just because Minhyung isn't crying doesn't mean he ain't hurt!"
Stuck behind the partition, the senior members of the team jump back startled by the sudden change in the coach's attitude, and later hurriedly retreat to the far seats to the rest of their teammates.
…..
Siwoo is surprisingly focused at work, despite a completely unexpected series of encounters with Jaehyuk. Being in a coaching role, he is hyper aware of his surroundings, where his children are and what they are doing. He entertains the seniors, allowing them to joke at himself during breaks and responding dramatically to their teasing; helps the younger ones with their gear and clothes. Their youngest pupil and Siwoo's personal favorite (which he won't admit to anyone) Minseok seems to sense something is wrong and activates in his shenanigans, leaving Siwoo busy for the rest of the day. When it's time to go to bed, he won't let the coach out of his powerful 5-year-old grip, forcing him to fall asleep next to him in front of his older brother Chanhyun.
It's natural for their club: their elder coach who acts like he's a part of the team almost all the time. Often at training camps like this Siwoo is stuck playing games with the sleep-deprived teenagers in secret from Kiin, but on this day all the seniors are busy cornering this very Kiin for answers.
“It's way past your bedtime guys, can't your question wait until tomorrow?” Kiin doesn't really understand why it was necessary for the kids to take him to a quiet hallway for some kind of interrogation, but seeing their tense faces he finds no room for scolding.
“Siwoo-hyung and that guy, Park Jaehyuk... Did they know each other in the past?” Jihoon decides to ask directly, which causes the coach to be extremely surprised. Seeing the stunned face of his elder, the teenager quickly explains. “We saw them meeting one another when we first arrived.”
Kiin considers his answer before offering it.
"They... were pretty close, it's true. We all went to the same high school. Back then, the hyung you all know was a bit... different."
“We heard you say he wasn't feeling well,” Hyunjoon nonchalantly remembers, drawing surprised sighs from everyone in the room. Looking over the coach and then the friends' faces, he shrugs. “”What's the big deal? We were going to ask him anyway."
“How much have you heard...?” Kiin rushes to ask some other question, but stops himself. He’s shaking his head. "You know, it's not important. It's not my life to tell you about. Let's just say that Siwoo went through a lot in his teenage years to be here with you now. He might not have been with us at all by this point... he's worked hard on himself, and that's why he can be such a reliable hyung for you now." Kiin realizes he's said unnecessary things, but it's important for him to get his message across to the juniors. After a couple seconds of awkward silence, he dismisses the boys. “So respect your elders, kids, and go to bed when you're told to,” He ruffles the heads of the three teens in turn, nudging them in the direction of the bedrooms and preventing them from protesting.
……
Park Jaehyuk comes to their team practice. As he enters the gym, he tries to quickly scan the people on the ice, but it's difficult to pick out a particular miniature figure among the myriad of kids. As he hesitantly stalls at the entrance, his presence is noticed by the first coach, who’s calling out a familiar name.
“Hey! Park Jaehyuk, long time no see!” Kiin looks tense, trying to keep the two Hyunjoons, a junior and a senior, from trying to run barefoot onto the ice. Nevertheless, he nods invitingly to the athlete, looking back at the students. “Kids, I'd like to introduce you to an old acquaintance of mine, and a current national youth team player.”
"Youth team? Wow!!!", with excited squeals, a bunch of younger ones come up to the edge of the field as Jaehyuk walks down to Kiin with a strained smile.
They shake hands and Kiin approaches him in a half hug for the sake of whispering in his ear, “Please entertain them for like literally 5 minutes, Siwoo is dealing with scheduling right now and I have a bruised kid.” With those words he shoves the old acquaintance into the childish crowd.
Jaehyuk signals to Kiin about the questionability of this idea with a glare, but nods at the same time. Turning around to the kids, he tenses his lips, giving off his best version of a smile (Siwoo would say that he's not even trying).
"What's up, kids? Any questions about the youths’?"
"How much do you exercise? Are you forced to stay on a diet? Are you eating supplements?" Woojae, one of the loudest kids on the team, automatically adopts the role of interviewer. The 8-year-old looks at the player appraisingly, as if trying to gather important information.
Jaehyuk looks around, checking to make sure Kiin is gone, and leans conspiratorially toward the younger one while the teens still remain in the back, watching the unexpected guest intently.
“Just google all that stuff,” he flicks the boy on the nose, immediately straightening up and looking around at his juvenile audience. "Back in highschool during breaks we used to play a game called the cow slam. Who wants to try it?"
He raises his hand, and a bunch of kids raise their hands at the same time as him. Even Woojae, almost as if he's forgotten about the offense, pulls his own palm up in a curious manner.
Jaehyuk runs out onto the ice and falls, setting an example for the kids, who instantly follow his lead. When he gets up and shakes himself off, a bunch of kids are already busy playfully fighting with each other on the ice.
Stepping aside, he exhales tiredly, instantly pulling a smile onto his face as one of the kids turns to him for a moment.
"That is so fun!!! Uncle, you're just like Siwoo-hyung!", the boy shares his impressions, and later immediately returns to the process of hammering his buddy into the ice.
“Un-uncle?... me?...” Jaehyuk sighs offensively, grasping his heart, but his tragedy is only noticed by the teenagers who come closer now.
“How long have you known our hyung?” asks a 12-year-old Luhan who walks up to him. The boy glances over to his youngers' games enviously, but his curiosity overcomes him.
"Which one, exactly? I remember Kiin from when he was still in short pants," Jaehyuk shows with his hand the distance from the ground to his hips, grinning. "Siwoo though... he and I met when we were both a bit older than you. Middle school maybe?"
Luhan's eyes light up.
“You know Siwoo-hyung too?”
“Yeah, when we first met, he was a lot more... serious.” Jaehyuk seems to drift back in time with his thoughts for a moment, grinning to himself.
"Siwoo-hyung was serious?! That can't be!" The other teen, Geonbu, arches an eyebrow in disbelief.
"I bet he was. Didn't act his age at all, was serious and sad at the most surprising moments."
"Jaehyuk! What are you doing!" Kiin, who had gotten freed earlier than he should, shouts from the other end of the stadium.
The sound of their coach's voice caused the kids to quickly stop their rummaging and spread out across the rink, leaving Jaehyuk surrounded by teenagers for Kiin to tussle with. Kiin sprinted from the top rows toward the rink with a tantalizing expression on his face, making Jaehyuk shudder.
“Hey kids, when did that brat become so scary?” Jaehyuk giggles nervously and looks around for support, but the boys only watch with amusement as the events unfold. When Kiin is already dangerously close, Jaehyuk loses his composure and cries out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I don't know how to talk to children, you said yourself you'd step away for a bit! And besides, look, everyone's safe."
Kiin stops half a meter away from the panicking acquaintance, catching his breath and looking around at the younger ones on the rink. Everyone looks unharmed, plus their attention has already been diverted by an interesting pit at the far gate.
"You need to thank god they're in one piece. Boy, you're even worse than Siwoo."
“They're so much alike,” Geonbu nods in agreement.
"Me and Siwoo? Huh, that's something we've been told in the past..." Jaehyuk raises his eyes to the sky, as if remembering the good old days.
"Oh, don’t remind me. You two were insufferable, I don't know how our team tolerated both of you before Siwoo left." Kiin, not too fond of his own memories, mutters under his breath.
“Wait, but I thought Jaehyuk had quit?” Changhyun interjects into the dialog, startling both guys.
"What makes you jump to such conclusions? I told you, Siwoo has had... a hard time,“ Kiin seems to be choosing his words even more carefully in Jaehyuk's presence than he did last night, ”He was the first to leave the team for a… family matter." Looking back at Jaehyuk, whose facial expression no longer reflects any emotion, he hastily adds. “If you want to know, you'd better ask Siwoo by yourself.”
“It's all a bygone days stuff,” Jaehyuk tries to act like the conversation isn't affecting him, but he quickly turns off the subject. "And all of us have changed. Siwoo especially."
“Of course, you abandoned him after all,” Jihoon scoffs, while Kiin audibly gasps amidst equally surprised children.
The coach almost immediately responds. "What makes you think that, Jihoonie? It wasn't like that at all. Siwoo..."
“And you sure do like to mind your own business, don't you, kid?” Jaehyuk interrupts Kiin before he can say anything. His face looks tense, but he smirks dismissively at the teen, as if trying to get an even bigger reaction out of him. “So you care about hyung that much?”
"Of course. He's part of the family like everyone else here," Jihoon lifts his chin, trying to appear taller as he levels with Jaehyuk. Even though they're about the same height, the kid is built smaller than the national team player, so he's relying on confidence.
"Then why don't you ask him directly? Or are you afraid of losing his trust?" Jaehyuk doesn't even try, but hits straight on point. Jihoon uneasily glances over to his friends, who a second ago looked just as belligerent as himself. Jaehyuk sighs, running one hand through his hair. "You kids won't be able to do that. But even if you think about it, discard the thought; children are not allowed to meddle in the affairs of adults."
The last sentence leaves the teenagers speechless, and even after Jaehyuk leaves, Jihoon and his friends remain puzzled.
Coach Kiin seems to agree with the answer given by Jaehyuk, and is too busy with the younger ones. After his acquaintance leaves, he doesn't bring up the topic again, and teens are left alone with their thoughts.
Standing apart from the others, the older ones discuss the situation without losing their temper.
“And he has the nerve to come to us!” Jihoon, still angry, is getting ambiguous looks from his best friend.
“I thought he was right,” Hyunjoon says in a quiet voice, causing his friend to gasp in shock. "I mean, we really don't know much... and if Kiin-hyung said it wasn't true... I'm not sure about this Jaehyuk guy, but we have to believe Kiin-hyung, right? Like you said, Jihoon, he's also part of the team, part of the family." Hyunjoon's reasoning makes the boys nod reluctantly.
“Still, like we were told, if we want to know the full story, we can always ask Siwoo-hyung,” Chanhyun says, and an awkward silence hangs between the teens. None of them dares to say anything to continue the topic, and they have no idea how to dispel this heavy mood.
“... I still hate that Jaehyuk guy, just so you know,” Jihoon mutters under his breath.
…..
Jaehyuk comes to practice the next day too. This time he happens to see Siwoo, and his face instantly brightens as he catches the familiar wide smile in the crowd. He manages to get pretty close to him without being noticed, but when he's only a few steps away, the kid next to the coach suddenly turns his attention to the guest. The youngster doesn't even say anything, just tugs Siwoo's pants and points a finger in Jaehyuk's direction. The whole time Jaehyuk is shortening the remaining distance, the kid is drilling him with his gaze, and Siwoo yanks him back.
"Youngjae-ya, what were we saying about staring? People don't say hello like that. Apologize," Siwoo chides the little one and as soon as he bows politely to Jaehyuk, the coach's face brightens and he ruffles the boy's hair with a dose of cooing. "Now, go and change your clothes. You'll be okay on your own, right?“ As soon as Youngjae nods, Siwoo pats his butt approvingly and points towards the locker room, ”Then go-go-go!"
The boy runs off, and Siwoo finally stands up to give his guest a welcoming hug. Wow, Jaehyuk thinks to himself distractedly, now he's actually good with kids.
“Already miss me?” As soon as Siwoo pulls away from Jaehyuk, his casual mood changes to a playful one, his smile taking on a second layer. The athlete rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, right. Came to see you suffer, and you're surprisingly doing well. It's even kind of boring."
“What were you expecting,” Siwoo folds someone else's sports uniform into the seats, “It's the little rascals who should be careful around me, not me avoiding them.”
Jaehyuk grins, and prepares to spew out an undeniably witty reply, but he gets interrupted before he can say anything.
“You again?” The guys turn around to see an approaching Jihoon leading a bunch of kids. “What are you here for again?”
“Hello to you as well, kid,” Jaehyuk doesn't shift from his spot, eyeing the tense teenager.
Siwoo, standing between them, looks around at the boys baffled.
“Have you two crossed paths somewhere?”
“Uncle came to our practice yesterday!” 6-year-old Minseong cheerfully informs the coach. As Jaehyuk tries to deal with the damage he's received from the nickname, the coach pats the kid's head approvingly, shifting his gaze to the acquaintance.
“So, came in yesterday... How interesting,” Siwoo smiles coyly, tilting his head slightly and looking at the athlete from the sidelines. The kind of gaze he only does to people he's comfortable with. Jaehyuk freezes slightly at the familiar gesture, allowing some kid to terrorize his dangling palm. The teenagers stop nearby to observe an odd scene, and Jihoon lets out a disgruntled sigh, rolling his eyes.
“Hyung, is our break not over yet?” The teen interrupts the old acquaintances eye contact, causing Siwoo to avert his gaze to look at him.
“So eager to play? You like to dodge the practice so much; that doesn't sound like you”, the coach smiles playfully at Jihoon, and the teenager cheekily plays along with the older one's teasing.
“Can't wait to bring it right in front of such a professional,” the boy shoots his eyes at Jaehyuk, curving his lips in a grin. His best friend Hyunjoon exhales tiredly, muttering something about the hints being too obvious.
The youth team member finally takes his eyes off Siwoo at the teen's last words, coming out of his trance. Giving the boys a fleeting glance, Jaehyuk turns his attention to the ice, and something seems to click in his head.
"'Wanna challenge me, kiddos? Might just face everyone at once." Jaehyuk leans back against the wall, watching the children's reactions idly. Some of them whistle excitedly, others wrinkle their faces in hesitation. Hyunjoon tilts his head questioningly.
“'By yourself?”
"Of course not. I'll take one passer," Jaehyuk raises his index finger upward, showing a number, then turns his hand toward Siwoo. “Your precious hyung will help me.”
The children cheer, but Jaehyuk ignores them, tracing Siwoo's bemused smile.
“Do you realize I haven't picked up a stick in six years?” Coach laughs, and Jaehyuk presses his lips together.
“Don't worry, even with a total noob I can work a miracle.”
Siwoo hits him in the shoulder with a loud hey, which doesn't cause Jaehyuk to shift even an inch.
"I guess youth didn't change you at all. You're still the same egomaniac in hockey."
“Just the way you like me,” Jaehyuk winks, whispering this to Siwoo and causing the latter to give him that perplexed wide grin. “Now get me your first coach's skates, kids.”
When Jaehyuk changes his shoes and takes to the rink with Siwoo, the latter feels a strange sense of familiarity. They roll around easily, tossing the puck around as a warm-up, and children make a surprised noise on the entrance to the rink.
Siwoo moves fast and free, deftly avoiding the practice cones, and it's as if he's going back in time, Jaehyuk still trailing beside him, keeping up his pace.
When the guys complete a full circle, Jaehyuk grins as he lures the kids onto the ice with his finger: a few boys are getting checked with Kiin now, but the rest of the team is piling onto the rink. They spread out on one side, taking up about two-thirds of the field, so Siwoo and Jaehyuk head to the opposite gate. They agree beforehand that the game will be a best-of-three duel, and Jaehyuk is awarded with the puck first as an advantage.
With a quick glance, the coach and hockey player nod slightly to each other before moving forward. Most of the teenagers cluster around the gate, while the younger ones spread out across the field in a defensive formation. Siwoo skates around them all, tossing the puck to Jaehyuk and making the kids' heads spin in confusion. When the pair successfully breaks through the junior's defenses, Jihoon irritatedly moves forward, causing his teammates to shout in protest. Siwoo, spotting the approach of the older boy, slows his movements a bit, maneuvering between the two children and patting one of them lightly on the back. Jaehyuk, however, decides to keep his momentum going by moving forward, and his passes to Siwoo are getting a bit longer. The coach, however, does an excellent job of repassing almost in the same spot, skillfully dodging the thunderous attacks of the babies.
As Jihoon gets close to Jaehyuk, he begins to press the elder the moment that the puck is back in Jaehyuk's control. Jaehyuk willingly accepts the challenge.
“You think,” Jaehyuk whispers intermittently, shoving the teenager in return, “a pressing from a literal munchkin is actually gonna do anything for me?”
These words only further infuriate Jihoon, causing him to lose his balance in an attempt to put more pressure on his opponent. The pair tumble onto the ice, and their collision quickly turns into a brawl. As Jihoon starts to roll over on the ice, he tries to free himself from Jaehyuk's grip, who tries to restrain the teenager and not hit him himself (Siwoo obviously won't pat him on the head for that).
The other children watch the confrontation and instantly pick up on the change of mood on the field, rushing towards the fighters. Siwoo, predicting disaster and realizing that he won't get to the epicenter in time, lets out his loudest scream possible.
“KIDS, REMEMBER THE RULES IN A CLASH.”
“What's going on here?”, at the same time he hears the confused voice of their other coach returning to practice. Siwoo gives his companion an expressive look, signaling for him to run out onto the field to stop the fight.
Everyone on the rink, except for the two people brawling, stop in their tracks. The juniors, ready to join the mosh pit on the ice, and the teenagers who had come up from the gate to try and separate the pair, look back at a confused Kiin, and then at an angry and extremely serious Siwoo, and reluctantly move away from the pair.
As he watches Kiin head toward the fighting couple at top speed, Siwoo decides to direct all of his attention to quelling the tension among the others.
“Kids, what did I just tell you to do?” The coach pressures the insecure kids, realizing that if he doesn't resolve the issue now, things will get worse later.
“But coooaach, the rules say only players from opposing teams should hug.” Luhan whines loudly.
"Well, I don't care. Find a mate quickly, or you’ll see. All of you will be eating cucumbers this dinner, no exceptions!"
Apparently Siwoo looks very menacing in the eyes of the children, because everyone starts looking around helplessly. The younger ones are the quickest to follow the coach's instructions, taking it as a game, a hockey version of “find a couple,” looking for a mate to embrace. The middles and seniors, rolling their eyes, reluctantly start pulling in the closest players for the hug. When Siwoo is satisfied that everyone is standing in pairs at a safe distance from the heated players, he rushes out to break the fighting couple up following Kiin, but something tiny suddenly crashes into his legs.
Catching an obstacle right along the way, Siwoo glances over at Ryu Minseok, who is embracing his stomach with all his strength. He quickly pushes the fondness for his favorite child deep down, as his main goal is to get out of this tricky situation and save his other kid — and former... acquaintance — from each other. The main goal, but not the only one. He drops to one knee, pulling the youngster away from him by the shoulders, watching as the expression on the baby's face wrinkles into one of extreme disapproval.
"This action was invented to make the evil adults remember how to properly put up with each other. Minseokie, you know who you should learn to put up with the most, right?"
The expression on the child's face takes on a more sour tinge, and he looks away. During the time it takes him to make a decision, Siwoo quickly casts a glance in the direction of Jihoon and Jaehyuk: they're still frozen in one position in an attempt to overpower each other, and Kiin hesitantly hovers over them, holding Jihoon in an attempt to calm him down. Not wanting to waste any more time, Siwoo turns Minseok around in the right way and nudges him towards another boy from the younger group, Minhyun, who is standing nearby.
Minseok moves over and reluctantly wraps his arms around his teammate's torso, and the latter awkwardly hugs him back. Siwoo finally gets off, since nothing else is holding him back, and yells in the direction of the clashing couple.
“What the hell are you guys doing here?” Siwoo doesn't bother to try and fake the anger in his voice, he's just letting all the emotion come out. He seems to sound rather furious, because the two guys on the ice freeze similarly to the rest of the kids, and then Jaehyuk slowly gets off Jihoon, and the competitors reluctantly crawl away from each other. Kiin, who's been trying unsuccessfully to separate them all this time, finally exhales relaxedly, dropping his shoulders.
Siwoo comes over and with arms crossed, he towers over the two guys who are still not up from the ice.
“Sit down properly!” With those words, both Jaehyuk and Jihoon burst up, sitting down on their knees in front of Siwoo like misbehaving pupils.
“You!” Siwoo points his finger, and the national team player raises his head to cast a brief glance at the coach's angry face. "What were you thinking, getting it to this extent? This is a game just for you. Any such behavior towards a child will happen again, and I will report to the committee so that you will never be invited to an event of this kind ever again." Jaehyuk listens to the speech with his head down. In the back of Siwoo's mind, he realizes that to Jaehyuk, with his distaste for children, his threats have no power, but with one of his children in the equation, his scandalous nature is overriding. After all, a promising national team player doesn't need such embarrassing facts on his resume, Siwoo concludes.
Understanding that he had conveyed the main message to the acquaintance, and further threats would do no good now, Siwoo shifts his attention to the teenager copying Jaehyuk's posture with his head down.
“And you now!” Jihoon flinches, feeling the coach's fury being turned on him. "How did it even occur to you to press a player of a completely different weight class? And he's a professional tough guy, were you planning on injuring yourself and not participating in games for the next month?" Catching Jaehyuk's smirk, Siwoo only gets even more frustrated. "No, a month isn't even long enough, maybe you wanted to sit on the bench for six months? A year? Do you have any idea how knowledgeable they are in adult hockey? You think a national team player doesn't know where to punch it more efficiently?"
Jihoon is curving up his mouth, not really enjoying the brand new experience of getting chastised by his second coach. Sure, Siwoo had scolded him and his friends before for their antics, but never had he felt... so much of the hyung's emotions directed only at him. It was making him feel uneasy. Siwoo, meanwhile, was not stopping.
“Should I teach you a lesson and put you on the bench for this training camp?” At these words, Jihoon raises his head alarmed.
"Why are you scolding me much more than him, hyung? We were both in on it." Jihoon sounds offended, even sad.
"Don't forget who started this. Do you think I'm completely blind?" Siwoo charges at the teenager in a cold manner, causing him to shiver. Throwing a brief glance at the national team player next to him, he pauses. "I'll have a separate conversation with Jaehyuk later. This is adult affairs."
The last sentence seems to break something in Jihoon, because now he looks at Siwoo with anger. "It's always none of our business when it comes to your life, hyung. Sometimes I feel like you're a stranger to us. Do we even—“, the teenager desperately circles the field with his eyes, ”— mean anything to you?" With those words, he rises from his spot and leaves for the other side of the field, leaving Siwoo alone with his thoughts. Kiin, eyeing the blank expression on his colleague's face, finally pulls himself together and lifts Jaehyuk from his knees.
“Hyung, you'd better leave now,” Kiin doesn't bother to be formal with the elder for the first time in a while, causing the latter to smile. Jaehyuk casts a brief unfazed glance at the second coach, who is frozen in the same pose, staring into the void, and walks beside him, throwing a meek “ Talk to you later.”
He doesn't get any response from Siwoo.
…..
Despite the expectations, the confrontation with Jihoon doesn't last long. Siwoo acts extremely subdued at practice and afterward, even though Kiin assures him that he did everything right. Jihoon, on the other hand, avoids the coach, which makes the latter nervous; he's never encountered such an attitude from a teenager. Usually during their joking arguments or after reprimands, the teen would roll his eyes at the elder's words or throw slanted glances, but now it was as if Jihoon was alienating himself from the coach as much as he could. The other teens, watching this unusual scene, tried to act as if nothing had happened, but the younger members of their club, sensing the tension in the air, tried to be more cautious. Many juniors, seeing the confusion of the coach, try to check up on him. Just before lights out, little Lee Minhyun pulls Siwoo aside and assures him that the next time the fight breaks out he will definitely not hesitate and will grab his friend Minseok according to the rules. This brings a brief smile to the coach's face, and he ruffles the boy's hair in amusement.
The following day, their middle group loses their first match at that training camp. The team that is playing against the teenagers has never beaten them in a previous year, and everyone thinks it will be an easy battle, but in the end they play a long game to exhaustion and finish the match with a small lead. The kids watching the match from the stands and cheering on the seniors become very upset, but the result affects the players themselves even more, of course. Usually Siwoo tries to lift everyone's spirits and help them reset after tough matches, but looking at the frustrated kids, he seems to be at a loss for words. Jihoon's remarks from yesterday swirl around in his head as he watches the teenager silently stack his equipment.
At the post-match debrief, the boy sits for a bit, and as soon as Kiin starts listing the good plays by the kids starting with Jihoon in particular, he quickly excuses himself and disappears out the door. Siwoo briefly glances over to Kiin and rushes up after him, realizing that he can't just leave the kid he's responsible for in such a state. As the coach runs out almost immediately afterward, he manages to catch a glimpse of the direction in which Jihoon is fleeing and follows him. As he enters the empty cafeteria - the same one where he and Jaehyuk sat on the first day - Siwoo calls out to Jihoon, finally catching up with the teenager. Boy is surprised to see the second coach, but quickly hides his feelings behind a mask of nonchalance.
Siwoo pats him on the shoulder and wordlessly drags him off to a vending machine where he buys the teenager his favorite chocolate milk. As they sit down at a distant table, the coach nudges Jihoon's leg lightly with his knee, trying to shake up the sour boy.
"Y'know, Kiin had a lot of good things to say about your game today. You did a great job," Siwoo says in as cheerful a tone as possible, looking into the kid's face.
"We lost, didn't we? You think I want to hear all that, hyung?" Jihoon utters, looking down at his own hands playing with the milk label. Siwoo leans in eagerly, listening. Jihoon has always been like this, from the first day they met. Always blaming himself for defeat, denying his own efforts.
“Well, if you want to get better, then yes.” Jihoon raises a haggard gaze at him, and Siwoo offers him nothing but a serious stare in return. "The key to getting better isn't always just about self-inflicted wounds, Jihoon. I've already told you that's counterproductive; you're only drowning in your own feelings by refusing to rationally look at the whole picture. That team has gotten stronger since last year, they have a lot of newcomers; and the defensive strategy we've just started to learn still needs to be refined. That's what we came to training camp for, to better learn our weaknesses and get stronger."
Jihoon sits, once again listening silently to the coach's words. They had been through this before, and that was why they understood each other so well; Siwoo always found rational answers for the self-critical teenager. However, behind his wave of feelings, there was more than just simple bitterness from defeat.
"Everyone hasn't been themselves since yesterday. I'm sure our performance has suffered because of it too. And I'm the one who started it all, you were right, hyung. It is all my fault." Jihoon forces out a confession, squeezing his eyes shut, afraid to see his coach's reaction. Siwoo, not expecting such a statement, tries to reassemble his thoughts in a hurry to keep Jihoon from spiraling down further.
"What I said to you yesterday - you know I didn't blame you for everything, right? I was only worried about you, Jihoonie. Do you know how freaked out I was when I saw your fistfight? Park Jaehyuk in the past... when we were in middle school, he accidentally broke our classmate's arm while they were wrestling at the sides..." Siwoo tries to find words to better express his feelings, but ends up mentioning Jaehyuk. Stammering, he watches the teenager's reaction, but the latter doesn't even flinch. Sighing, he continues his thought, "I just didn't want you to get hurt, that's all. You're the star of our team after all."
“Someday I'll be slamming people at the sides too, hyung.” Jihoon mutters, finding no more comments for the coach's words. The serious expression on Siwoo's face finally switches to a smile.
“Of course you will, you're the fastest and most precise center in our district, the hope of our team, Jihoonie,” Coach gets up from his chair and steps up to the teenager to ruffle his hair with both hands, causing him to make protesting noises. "Now finish your milk, we're going back. And don't forget to destroy the evidence that I bought you anything! I don't have any favorites on my team after all, so no special treatment."
“But hyuuung!”
….
By the time he and Jihoon return to the others, Kiin is done with the game breakdown, and the frowning team is gathering for dinner. With renewed vigor, Siwoo loudly announces to everyone that they're back, and does his best to cheer up the downcast kids at dinner. Promising the teens a separate conversation with his dissection of their game, he finally sends the children to bed and briefly separates from Kiin to go outside. Not that he needs a cigarette, no; but he needs a reason to get some privacy and stand in the fresh air for at least five minutes to relieve himself. Exhaling into the night sky, he cranes his head, not even trying to get a good look at the stars: the cloudy weather just won't allow it. Still, he enjoys standing like this, relaxed, listening to the distant murmur of human speech coming from behind the windows. That's why he jumps up in fright when a person speaks nearby.
“I didn't realize you were still smoking,” Siwoo feels like Park Jaehyuk is starting to randomly appear in his life, almost as if a ghost from the past is haunting him.
“No, not anymore,” is all the coach replies, taking a deep drag in contrast to his words. The guy next to him nods, apparently understanding what he means.
"... I saw your little ones play. It's a shame they lost. They were alright." Jaehyuk's words sound a bit self-conscious, as if he doesn't quite know what to make conversation about. Siwoo only laughs at that.
"I don't need to be reassured, don't worry. And I don't care if they win or lose, it's only the first game after all. They're still growing." The coach smiles, remembering his players. Jaehyuk carefully eyes him.
“You're right, they're growing,” Not finding anything else to say, the national team player only agrees. Then a small detail finally becomes visible to his eye. “Hey, is that my hoodie?”
Siwoo holds his hand with the cigarette to his mouth, processing his words. Throwing a glance down, he remembers that this thing did indeed once belong to an acquaintance of his. The thought only makes him smirk.
“Well, what's gone is gone.” He says, taking a drag.
Jaehyuk eyes him, amused.
"I guess so, yeah. Turns out I lost a lot of stuff during my high school years."
Siwoo slowly processes his phrase, as if running it through several filters to figure out its real meaning, all the sub-contexts. Cocking his head and examining Jaehyuk from head to toe, he finally agrees.
“You're right.”
Jaehyuk smiles, watching Siwoo put out his cigarette and turn around to walk into the building.
“That kid of yours, Jihoon... He's stupid, of course, but he's no stupider than we were at his age.” He throws the words after him for some unknown reason. Perhaps to keep the acquaintance around for a while. Perhaps to express something that has been on his mind for a long time.
Siwoo stops, entertaining the thought. Finally looking Jaehyuk in the eye, he twirls his head slightly.
"I wasn't so foolish at his age". I don't regret anything.
Jaehyuk seems to understand the message, because he backs away defeatedly.
After rinsing his mouth a few times and using some cologne to hide the evidence of his crime from the others, Siwoo goes back. However, to his disappointment he discovers that his conspiracy was not needed, as Kiin is already minding his own business and the children are already asleep, leaving him on his own. As it was after their first meeting with Jaehyuk, he returns his thoughts to the past, and a strange nostalgia comes over him.