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Giyuu jolts awake, the alarm blares in his ears from where his phone sits on the bedside table. Usually, he’d groan and fumble around to shut it off before turning over and falling asleep again.
But this time was different. This time Giyuu sits up in his creaky bed and rubs his eyes to rid them of sleep. He turns the alarm off, almost mechanically. There are several different messages from Sabito who’d most likely been sending him random memes throughout the night. Really, when did that guy ever sleep?
That's not important now. The blue-haired man has much more pressing things on his mind. ‘6:45AM’ is the time on his phone screen. Giyuu never gets up this early, but he wants to experience today to the fullest, so there’s no time to sleep in. He puts down his phone and looks around his room, watching the faint slivers of sunlight that peek through the cracks of the curtains.
He gets up and stretches his arms high above his head while walking to the bathroom. The fluorescent lights make his head hurt, but he ignores it in favour of brushing his teeth. Once he’s finished, Giyuu looks at himself in the mirror. The person that stares back looks tired; his deep blue locks untamed and eyes half-lidded with sleep. It's a pitiful sight.
Nevertheless, it's also Saturday. Which means he doesn't have anything in particular to do. His friends like to have outings on the weekends, though, so he figures he’ll just join in. Even if it’s not what he’d usually do, there's no better way to say goodbye than to give them one last memory of him.
All while Giyuu goes about his morning, there's a certain… lightness in his chest. Like an enormous weight has suddenly lifted itself off his shoulders. It puts a small smile on his face, and gives him the motivation to clean and re-bandage his cuts so he doesn't look like a total mess.
He opens the curtains and opens the windows, letting in the early summer breeze. It feels unusually calm, serene, almost. But he figures it isn't so bad.
His phone buzzes from where it's still situated next to his bed. It's Shinobu calling him. If this was any other day, Giyuu would ignore it in favour of enjoying his day off by himself. This time though, he picks it up and places the phone to his ear.
“Okay, but I'm telling you, he’s not going to- what?” She sounds surprised when he suddenly answers.
“Hi Shino.” he says, in his usual monotone voice.
“Look who decided to pick up today!” Giyuu feels a blossom of happiness at how delighted she sounds. Good, this was good.
He replied, “Mn. What is it?”
“Well, we know you don't like these sorts of things, but would you like to come bowling with us? We’re going to a restaurant beforehand-
“That I picked!” Yells another voice that sounds like it came from farther away.
Shinobu laughs, “-That Mitsuri picked.”
He ponders over it for a moment, before saying, “Alright, what time?”
Cheers erupt from the other line.
・・・・・
There's around 7 of them at the table. Himself, Shinobu, Mitsuri, who has Obanai plastered to her side, Sanemi, Rengoku, and Uzui. The restaurant is fairly loud and there's so many different sensations bombarding him that Giyuu thinks he might just pass out, but he steels himself and acts like nothing’s wrong. He’s only got one shot after all.
Everyone else seems like they're having fun atleast. Except for Sanemi who looks like he doesn't want to be here, but Giyuu’s known him long enough to know that's just how his face looks. Mitsuri is chatting excitedly to Obanai, probably about her pets, while the other man looks at her like she’s the only one in the room. Ew. At the opposite end of the table, Rengoku and Uzui are loudly having a conversation about everything and nothing at the same time. It doesn't help Giyuu’s ears at all.
“Giyuu-san, have you tried this? Mitsuri says it's her favourite, we should get one and share!” Shinobu says, pulling him out of his trance. She's pointing to a dish on the menu, but he doesn't know if he can stomach any food.
“I… Thanks, but it's okay.” Giyuu tries to give her as much of an apologetic smile as he can muster. She seems surprised, but her expression contorts into one he knows she does when she’s got her mind set.
“Come on, we’re at a restaurant! And knowing you, you probably haven't had anything all day.” That, she’s right about. Giyuu’s glad she cares about his health though. Shinobu’s practically everyone’s mother, driving them home after the bar and making everyone put on sunscreen at the beach. He sighs, knowing there's nothing he can do to get out of this.
“Alright." Is all he says, but her smile widens anyway.
Their food comes out quickly; the table is filled with easy chatter and a light atmosphere. It makes Giyuu’s heart swell knowing he’s a part of this. But it also drops some, since there's a good chance he’ll shatter it to pieces soon. He shakes his head to get rid of those thoughts. There's no point thinking about it now, it's best to enjoy the moment while it lasts.
He picks at his food and lets Shinobu finish most of it, even if she has to spoon-feed him some to get him to eat. His cheeks turn a dusty pink while Uzui and Obanai snicker at the sight. Oh well.
All the while, Giyuu continues to stay silent. He doesn't want to break the illusion of normalcy, he doesn't want to say something that’ll mess it up and leave him wishing he never came in the first place. It's easy, since he’s known for being quiet anyway, but sometimes the others will bring him into the conversation to make sure he’s being included. It makes the pool of dread in his stomach twist and turn. Giyuu does not deserve them as his friends.
So he acts. He starts talking, speaking in full sentences instead of his usual one or two words. He starts smiling, laughing, and eventually it becomes genuine. It hits him. This is his last day, why not live it out to the fullest while he can? There's no more responsibilities to worry about, no more tomorrow to anticipate. It makes him morbidly happy, but Giyuu can't find it in him to wipe the smile off his face.
Unsurprisingly, everyone finds this odd. But they don't question it, and take it as a weird burst of energy. Good. Nothing’s wrong.
・・・・・
It's Obanai who clocks him.
They're at a bowling alley now, and having fun seeing who can get the highest score. Giyuu’s already played a few games and was expectedly horrible, so he stands off to the side while Rengoku and Uzui throw the balls so hard he’s afraid they might make a dent in the ramp. He simply laughs, watching them go about their antics. A smile graces his lips; it feels like the floor beneath him is a cloud and his body weightless.
Everything is as it should be, except for one thing.
Obanai.
Obanai, who’s been staring intently at him, brows furrowed, for the last half hour. Giyuu would expect him to be cheering Mitsuri on, instead he says nothing. He’s creeping him out a bit, honestly. Obanai’s seriousness has always been a part of his character, but this is just off-putting.
“Is something wrong?” He asks. The other man doesn't reply for a beat, then nods.
“You.”
“What?”
“Something’s wrong with you.” He accuses.
Giyuu’s heart starts to race. No, no. This has to be a misunderstanding.
“Sorry… I don't get what you mean.” He replies apologetically, even if he’s fully aware of what Obanai means.
“Listen, Giyuu. This doesn't happen out of nowhere, and I'm not stupid.” The Giyuu in question wants to turn around and run out of the bowling alley, perhaps have a moving car run into him in the process. He says the only thing he can possibly say without making it painfully obvious.
“You don't have to worry about me. It'll be fine." His voice reverts back to its usual cold tone in an attempt to end the conversation, but it seems Obanai isn't having it. He grabs Giyuu’s wrist before he can leave.
“Please, Giyuu. Trust me, you don't have to. I would know.” Obanai’s mismatched eyes stare into his deep, motionless blue ones. A lump forms in his throat that keeps him from replying, so he wordlessly looks away.
The shorter man sighs. It hurts his heart, but there's no other option, no matter what Obanai says. Except he’s intent on convincing him otherwise.
“Why?” Is the only thing he says while they both watch over everyone else, who’re unaware of the interaction going on a few feet away from them.
“...I’m tired." It's true. Giyuu is so, so tired. All he wants to do is go into a dreamless sleep where his problems can't catch up to him. Even now, and it makes him feel incredibly selfish.
The look Obanai gives him is one he’s never seen before. It's filled with not pity, but understanding. Like he’s been where Giyuu is right now.
“I get it. But that doesn't mean you can go and leave everyone like that. No one wants to bury their best friend.” Oh. He wasn't expecting him to say it so bluntly like that.
“How can you tell, anyway?”
“Because that's how people act before they… y’know. They become happy all of a sudden, and then they're gone the next day.” Obanai places a small, cold hand on his shoulder. "I don't want that to be you, Giyuu. Don't act stupid, okay?”
Giyuu’s pretty sure his eyes are wide and glossy by now. Even with the mask covering half his face, he can see how sincere Obanai is. It's wrong, everything’s going wrong. This wasn't meant to happen. No one was meant to find out.
But Giyuu finds that he doesn't mind it too much.
・・・・・
Twenty stories high. That's how many stories he's standing on top of, swaying in the wind between life and death. His shoes are neatly placed next to him as he stands on the ledge, waiting for a sign, anything, to tell him to make the final step. The notes are already written and taped down so they won't fly away.
He made one for basically every person he knows, but the most important ones were for Urokodaki, Sabito, Makomo, and surprisingly Obanai. He apologised to all of them, for wasting their time when they tried so hard to help him at all. A lone tear runs down his cheek at the thought. But he knows they’ll be better off with him gone, everyone will.
His hair is down, allowed to blow wildly against the current. He feels buzzing from his phone that's in his pocket. Whoever it is, he’s sorry he’ll never be able to answer. Giyuu thinks back to what Obanai told him earlier in the day. He’s pretty sure he’ll just be disappointed in him. Good thing he won't be alive to face it.
Giyuu looks up at the inky black sky. White jewels adorn it like paint on a canvas, and Giyuu simply spends a few seconds reveling in it all. He supposes this isn't so bad, but makes a point to not look down. It's all concrete roads and unsuspecting passersby that'll surely be traumatised by what he's about to do, but he can't find it within him to care all that much.
The buzzing still hasn’t stopped. It's getting annoying now, so he begrudgingly takes it out to see who the hell is spamming him at twelve in the morning. Instead of it being Sabito like he expected it to, Obanai had been the one calling him for almost an hour straight. So he still hasn't let up.
Eventually the calls stop. But he sends one last thing before going offline completely.
It's a photo of the whole group, the one they’d taken before going their seperate ways at the end of the night. Rengoku and Uzui have their arms around each other; Mitsuri and Obanai are holding hands, their faces flushed pink. Lastly, He and Shinobu are locking arms with bright smiles. Giyuu looks fondly at the photo. Under it, Obanai says,
“See you tomorrow.”
See you tomorrow. Like he was expecting him to take his advice and live to see another day. He looks at the ledge, then back at the message.
Giyuu sighs. He’s still tired, his limbs still feel like they’re heavy with lead and the cold embrace of the ground is still inviting him to join.
But he supposes sleeping in his bed is a better option tonight.