Chapter Text
Est had never really stopped to think about genetics. Being a man of numbers, he had never studied much about it after leaving school. He had seen cases where a single genetic disease killed and punished several members of a family in the same way, but he had never been afraid that it would happen to him. That is, until now. He was forced to think about it when the symptoms became apparent to those around him and his doctor referred him to a specialist. The same specialist who had diagnosed his grandfather a few years earlier. Now he stared at the gray-haired man in disbelief, feeling a grip on his hand that wasn't reassuring enough. His wife was as hesitant as he was.
"You see, it's a genetic condition..." The doctor didn't seem sure of his words, tapping his pen insistently on the table as he tried to construct the perfect sentence. That wasn't an easy diagnosis to give to a man as young as Est, a newlywed with plans and dreams. He was only twenty-seven.
"I'm losing my hearing, aren't I?" Est knew what that look meant, he'd seen it before except that it seemed much more terrifying now when it was directed at him.
"Yes." The doctor sighed and analyzed Est's reactions carefully. "It was the same as what happened to your grandfather, except..."
"Except he was sixty-six when he was diagnosed." Est let out a breath of air through his mouth, letting go of the woman's hand and rubbing his eyes hard. He wasn’t the type to cry, not even when faced with something this overwhelming — especially not in front of doctors.
"And how can we stop it? I mean, the progression of the disease." Est stared at his wife, noticing that it was the first time she had questioned anything during the entire consultation. Win was a naturally calm woman, and that's what Est liked about her, always thinking of a solution. Except there was no solution this time.
"You see..." The doctor sighed. It would never be easy to tell a woman of twenty-six that her husband was about to go completely deaf. "There's no stopping it. There's no cure or miracle treatment... The only thing we can do is delay the hearing loss, but there's no certainty that this will work in this case."
"How long?" Est asked, avoiding facing his wife. He didn’t want to show how weak he was. "How much time do I have?"
"It's hard to predict." The doctor sighed and took off his glasses, looking at the young couple in front of him. "Your loss is already well advanced, but it's difficult to calculate how long it's been progressing. From the situation, I believe it's been a few years... You've never felt any symptoms before?"
Est had felt it. He had experienced many things but had never thought of them as symptoms. You see, he worked multiple hours a week and the stress load in his job was enormous, so ringing in the ears, pain, and throbbing eyes were to be expected. But something suspicious had happened, something that made him afraid of these symptoms for the first time. It happened during their honeymoon. He and Win were only two months married at the time and had a tour of Europe planned. Italy was the couple's second destination and one of their most anticipated, with thousands of sights and restaurants on the agenda. It was almost lunchtime, in the middle of the Italian summer, and the couple had been out and about for hours taking lots of photos when they walked towards a restaurant chosen by Win.
"Come on, Est! You work out thousands of times a week, but you're dragging your feet with just a few hours of walking." Win smiled, energetic as ever and jumping from step to step like a child. Est smiled, resting her hands on his knees as he took a break.
"No comment." Est watched his wife continue on her way while she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. He sighed and prepared to continue up the steps when he felt a loud ringing in his ear, followed by a limbo.
"Win..." Est covered both ears with his hands as he tried to call for his wife. When the ringing ceased, he was unable to hear anything for a few seconds. The noisy restaurant fell silent and Est felt his heart racing in his chest, frightened by whatever was happening. He didn’t know if it was fright, tiredness, or a natural loss of balance caused by the absence of hearing, but he lost control of his legs, rolling down the stairs and falling completely unconscious after hitting his head.
Est woke up hours later, disoriented, with cuts on his face and a broken arm. Win was sitting next to him when he woke up, her eyes swollen from crying. She felt guilty for having dragged her husband there, even though she had noticed how tired he was. Est, afraid of scaring her, just squeezed her hand and smiled, ignoring the fact that he knew deep down that his little accident hadn't been caused by a drop in blood pressure.
"Let's do some more tests and plan some strategy." The doctor wrote down a number on a piece of paper and then handed it to Win, his gesture warm yet hesitant. Est looked at his wife with a curious look. "Until then, he might need professional help. This is the number of a friend of mine, she has a lot of experience in cases like this and can offer great psychological support."
"That won't be necessary." Est sighed and shook the doctor's hand, noticing how Win kept the small piece of paper in her handbag, the weight of it lingering between them. Win smiled weakly, said goodbye to the doctor, and followed Est out of the clinic.
The couple walked in silence to a small square in front of the clinic and sat down on a bench. Est held Win's hand as she cried, entwining his fingers in hers until her breathing returned to normal. He didn't say a word. He couldn't and wouldn't speak.