Chapter Text
“Amaneee~”
He felt his eyelids snap open against his will. He snapped them shut again as hard as he could.
“Wake uuuppp~”
He groaned and buried himself beneath his pillow, drowning out his brother’s wake up pleas as a hot pressure pulsed behind his eyelids.
“Amaneee~”
Hands jostled him roughly from beyond his pillowed world, his brother’s annoyingly playful voice still managing to pierce through the layers of pillow. It was becoming too much, the pressure behind his eyes had become a hot needle, threatening to spill tears.
He pressed the pillow tighter around his head and began to count the celestial bodies in the solar system according to their mass, “Jupiter, Saturn…”
The jostling intensified up to a point where Amane believed he might have bruises at the end of this. He had reached Mars when the world became bright again and air rushed into his lungs.
He blinked away tears, his hands still gripping the empty space where his pillow fortress had been. His younger brother loomed before him, dangling his pillow high above him.
His golden eyes brimmed with worry even as his mouth pulled into a cheery smile. Despite having lived a lifetime beside him, Amane always had a hard time deciphering his brother’s emotions and intentions; his contradicting facial expressions never helped.
“Why are you crying?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.
Amane hurriedly rubbed his tears away, “I-I had a nightmare—“ he took a deep breath and forced his lips into a tight smile, “but I don’t even remember what it was about anymore, I’m fine now, I promise.”
Tsukasa’s brows furrowed with suspicion, searching his brother’s face for any crack in his practiced performance. No matter how often he used this line, his traitorous lungs still held in a breath under his brother’s smothering gaze.
“Hmmmmm—” he hummed. In an instant, his features snapped back into that cheery smile, “If you say so then! I’m glad, now come on hurry up and get ready or we’ll be late for breakfast!”
With an excited leap off the bed he thrust the pillow in his brother’s face before rushing down the stairs to the mess hall below.
The room now quiet, save for the chirping birds in the woods surrounding their cabin, gave Amane no comfort. He had heard that same birdsong for what? Weeks? Months? It was always a sunny morning and breakfast downstairs was always an over the top pancake buffet. He preferred waffles. In fact, he had been looking forward to the breakfast menu tomorrow, donuts were being served.
His stomach growled at the thought. Amane risked a glance at the generic boxy alarm clock on the nightstand for the first time in who knows how long. His heart raced at the thought that maybe, just maybe—
9:30a.m Saturday, May 15, 2005.
His heart and limbs grew heavy at the sight. He should have known better by now, he had been doing so good in avoiding that damn alarm clock and now he had ruined his streak.
Tomorrow will never come.
With a sigh he got up and decided to play by the rules today.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The day's frivolous team bonding activities– basket-weaving, hiking and other pointless exercises Amane couldn't even pretend to care about— whizzed by in a colorful blur.
Before he knew it the day was coming to a close again.
Amane sat in a drunken haze as he silently mouthed and mimed his classmate’s dorky speech about community, camaraderies, and conviction for the “future”. Mid-performance he noticed he had caught the attention of Yashiro, the girl in his theatre class.
For someone whose outfits at school always screamed ready for the stage, he had found it rather odd that her wardrobe seemed subdued on this particular day. Her blue, sequined dress fit her beautifully, but the shine seemed faded and lost, as if something unseen had dulled it.
Her sea-colored eyes devoured his every movement, and she furrowed her feathery brows in confusion. Amane upped the antics, exaggerating his classmates' mannerisms. She chuckled, shaking her head softly with laughter before turning her attention to the ceremony once more.
Well shit, that was cute. A non-alcoholic flush lit up his cheeks.
A sudden grip of his wrist snapped him away from his mocking haze. His brother’s golden eyes came into view; dark pupils overflowing with worry and fear, “Amane have you been drinking? Are you drunk right now?”
Amane scoffed. Why was his brother saying this now? He'd been playing by the rules all day; he deserved a little escape from the natural routine. In fact, he was done with today. He had forgotten how borderline insane it was to try and follow the day’s natural order.
He tried to get up, but Tsukasa’s iron grip slammed him back down with a loud thud, drawing stares from the surrounding tables. Amane felt his skin grow hot and bruised beneath his brother’s grip, “let go—you’re hurting me.”
Tsukasa’s gaze grew dark as a wobbly smile crept up his lips. “You’re not well Amane, you could get hurt if you go off by yourself in this state.” He felt his bones grind against skin, “you can either stay right here with me, or we can go back to our cabin and I can take care of you there,” he said, cupping Amane’s cheek tenderly, he felt himself flinch at the touch and bit down the yelp clawing up his throat.
“I'll make sure you're safe and sound…”
Amane felt the panic reach his lungs right as the stage speakers boomed with the class president's nasally screams, an attempt no doubt at an epic closure to his dumb speech, “It’s been an honor to share such gifts with you all, but for now let’s savor this night in style!” And with that, president Four-Eyes dropped the mic and ordered the DJ to “Hit It!”
The Shinjuku woods and lake erupted into chaos as the soon-to-be-senior class transformed into creatures of the night. Amidst the dancing, many students began to strip into previously concealed swimwear and plunged into the lake.
As their classmates abandoned all morals, Amane wrenched himself free from his brother's loosened grip and disappeared into the crowd.