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Ayatsuji was missing, and Tsujimura knew why. Somehow, despite all the trained snipers and video cameras watching him, he still managed to slip away. It was impressive, really. He had disappeared a few days ago. Almost a week now. One day he was there, and the next he wasn't.
Tsujimura sits in the detective office, flipping through papers absentmindedly while she thinks about where he could be. She knew the reason he left was to protect her. To keep his ability from activating and killing her in cold blood because she had killed the Engineer at the dock. But just because she knew why doesn't mean she knew where he went. The Division knew about his escape, hell, they knew only an hour or so after he had disappeared, but they had yet to find any leads as to where he could be hiding out. Sakaguchi had told her she needed to look as well, considering it was her job to ‘watch over' him. She knew she would have looked even if she hadn't been asked.
Why did it have to happen now? She wondered as she looked out the window blankly. They were so close to solving the case, and she was just beginning to get the courage to tell him how she felt. He just had to go and ruin it by running off. She sighs and rubs her face, moving to massage her temples. She had such a bad headache forming behind her eyes, she closes them, leaning back in her chair. “Damn you Ayatsuji.” She mumbles to herself as she thinks.
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After another unsuccessful day of searching, she begins to pack up her few things to go home. As she's getting into her Aston Martin, she receives a call. She looks at her phone screen and sees that it reads Sakaguchi. She assumed it was him. It seemed as if he was the only person to call her these days. Which, as she thought about it, was a bit sad, but she could ponder her lack of a social life later. She clicks the receive call button and Sakaguchi’s voice comes through the speaker: “Have you had any luck?” He asks.
She thought it was a stupid question. Of course she didn't. If she did, she would have called the Division. But she knew he was just doing his job and she shouldn't be cross at him. “No. Not yet.” She tells him, trying her best to keep her voice natural.
There's a deep, tired-sounding sigh on the other end of the phone. Tsujimura knew he was rubbing his eyes even if she couldn't see him. She hears a muttered statement that sounds somewhat like, “How does one man manage to cause so much trouble?” Then he says in his normal tone, “Alright. Keep looking. He can't hide forever.”
“I understand.” She answers, once again thinking that this was stupid. But, of course, she doesn't say anything and hangs up a few seconds later. She lets out a sigh of her own as she sets her phone down. She had been sighing a lot more lately. It felt as if everyone had been. She grips the steering wheel for a moment before letting her hands go slack and fall in her lap. She then rests her forehead against the wheel. She couldn't help but wonder what Ayatsuji was doing right now. Another, smaller voice in the back of her mind thinks about whether or not he missed her. Or if he thought of her at all. She quickly pushed the thought away and sits up, turning her car on and beginning to drive. She didn't have a destination in mind, but she found driving helped to clear her thoughts. Perhaps it could help her find the detective.
It sadly does not. But it did help her to relax, which she had been struggling with, so at least it wasn't completely useless. She arrives at home at about 11 in the evening and changes her clothing, lying down after. She doesn't sleep, instead looking out the window that was visible from her position. This had also become routine. She found she didn't need much sleep, though it did bother her that she often didn't get more than 5 hours on her best nights. She lets her mind wander once more, thinking about everything and nothing.
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A few days later, she gets another check in from Sakaguchi. She expects it to be the usual, but he ends up giving her a new order. “When you find Detective Ayatsuji, you are to shoot him on sight.” He tells her.
She feels herself go stiff at that. She had expected that order to come, but that didn't mean she wasn't dreading it. She knew when she signed up for the job that at any moment she might have to kill the man she was working with. And at first, she was completely fine with that. If he stepped out of line, he would need to be neutralized; it just made sense. If she didn't, he might go on a rampage and hurt innocent civilians. Now, however, the thought made her sick. She knew he wouldn't hurt anyone innocent, both because it wasn't how his ability worked and because she truly wanted to believe he was a good person. She thought about telling Sakaguchi then and there why Ayatsuji disappeared, that it was her fault he was gone, but she hesitates. Instead, after what feels like decades of silence, she manages an unconvincing, “Okay.”
Sakaguchi seems unconvinced by her tone and asks, “Can you still do that, Agent Tsujimura?”
She feels a sudden bit of anger flash through her at his words. Was he really doubting her? She knew what she signed up for. “Of course I can.” She replies, her voice coming out more annoyed than she would have liked.
Sakaguchi seems to notice the tone but accepts the answer. He tells her a few more things before hanging up the phone again, leaving her to her own devices. She sits in her chair and glances around the room as if looking it over would give her the answers to all her issues. Eventually, she decides to dial Ayatsuji’s number. She had tried this multiple times already and had never gotten a response, but she thought she would still try.
It rings. One, two, three times. She almost gives up, thinking there wasn’t going to be an answer, until the tone stops and the call shows as being accepted. “Ayatsuji?!” She exclaims in disbelief. “Where are you?!” She stammers off a few more questions before his voice comes through the receiver.
“Tsujimura, this is the last time I'll talk to you. I only answered the phone to tell you I almost solved the case.” His voice was serious-sounding compared to the usual teasing tone it took on.
“What? But- You can't just say that! ” Tsujimura blurts out, feeling desperate. “Ayatsuji, please. We can work it out. I can tell the Division what's going on and they'll understand!”
It's silent on the other end of the phone until he rejoins in a firm voice, “Tsujimura, stop. You're being foolish. Just give up already. This isn't one of your stupid spy movies where it all works out in the end.”
She's about to disagree, to try and convince him that it could be okay, but there's a click that signals the phone has been hung up. She lets out a cry of frustration and puts her phone down harshly on the desk before kicking a nearby empty cardboard box. It goes sprawling across the floor, and she collapses into a chair, putting a hand over her eyes. She mutters a few curses under her breath. She almost felt as if she could cry. She never cried. Yet she was so frustrated and confused and sad that it felt as if she was about to break down. She takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. She couldn't do this now. It would ruin her makeup and all the people watching on the security cameras would see. She opens her eyes and goes to the door of the office. She needed out. To just go somewhere. She didn't care where. She gets in her car and closes the door roughly. After turning on the engine, she begins driving.
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Ayatsuji sits in a rundown motel on the outskirts of the city. He holds the throwaway phone in his hands, staring blankly at the black screen. His own words echo in his mind: This isn't one of your stupid spy movies where it all works out in the end. It was true, obviously, but a small part of him wished it wasn't like that. That somehow, if they tried hard enough, they could find a solution.
This is for her own good, he reminds himself. If he hadn't left, his ability would have activated and killed her. He knew she had killed the Engineer. But as soon as he saw her or her car, Another would activate. After that, he couldn't stop what happened next. He couldn't do that to her.
It was odd. He had never cared much about who he killed. Sure, at first his ability disgusted him; it made him feel cruel and sometimes even as if he deserved the same fate as the criminals he caught, but he had grown used to that feeling and began to repress it. He had heard all the callous names, the insults; he had simply grown to have a thick skin. He always told himself they deserved it. That they had made their choices, and this was their consequence, but he couldn't say that about Tsujimura. She had killed the Engineer, yes, but she never would have done it intentionally. It was an accident. But because she had wanted him dead deep inside for what happened to her mother, Another counted it as a proper crime.
For the first time in his life, he hated his ability. He wanted it gone. If he were given the opportunity in that moment, he would have his ability taken away, to be scrubbed clean from him like the repulsive filth it was. If he could, he would clean himself from the dirt that had infiltrated his life since the moment he discovered his ‘power.’
He stands up from the bed he was sitting on and goes to the window and looks out at the practically empty parking lot. He pulls out his kiseru and begins to smoke, hoping it would silence his thoughts. They calm but don't silence completely. He begins to think about what Tsujimura thinks about all this. Did she think this was easy for him? That he was doing this because he wanted to? Surely she knew why he was doing this. Despite all the names he called her, he knew she wasn't a fool. He wished he could talk to her face-to-face again. He had hoped the phone call would have been more productive, but of course, he doesn't get what he wants. Not that Tsujimura was all that helpful with her constant stream of questions. He supposed he couldn’t blame her, though. He had just essentially fallen off the face of the earth. A small voice says that he misses her. Her comments that were sometimes dumb but also entertaining, her smile that made his days a bit brighter… He hates that voice with a passion. It was the one always whispering things he didn't want to hear. He shoves it aside and tries his best to ignore it. He couldn't feel attached to her. Especially not now.
“Why can’t you let me have just one person?” He mutters to no one in particular. Perhaps he was talking to his ability. Or maybe he was talking to the universe itself. He wasn’t sure anymore.
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A few days pass and Tsujimura gets a call that Ayatsuji was spotted near the waterfall where Kyogoku was killed. Before the person on the other end even got a chance to finish their sentence, she was running out of the agency and practically throwing herself in her car. She shoves the key in the ignition and peels out of her parking spot, driving half haphazardly down the road.
She arrives at the place in record time and after parking her car in the first open spot she saw (it may or may not have been a parking spot, but she couldn’t bother with that right now), she begins running up the hill that led to the waterfall.
She finds him sitting near the basin of the waterfall, staring evasively at the water hitting the rocks below. She walks up quietly behind him and says, “You can’t run forever.”
“No, but I can run far enough to avoid you.” Comes his reply. It’s cold-sounding, and it feels like a slap in the face to the assistant.
“I know why you’re doing this.” She continues, trying to avoid what he just said. “It’s noble, but I don’t like it.”
“What else do you want me to do?” He asks, and his voice seems almost agitated now.
Tsujimura sighs and sits beside him, keeping enough distance between him and her but yet still staying close. “I don’t know.” She admits. For a little while, the sound of the rushing water is the only noise between the two of them. If the moment weren’t so grim, it would be almost peaceful. She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Ayatsuji says firmly, ruining the little moment between them.
“It’s my job to watch over you, remember? You’re my responsibility.” Is her reply, and she opens her eyes again. She spares a glance at the detective and notices how sad his eyes look. She had never seen him like this before.
He scoffs. “You should have never accepted that damn job. And I’m not your responsibility.”
She can tell he’s purposefully being cold. That he’s trying to push her away and keep them both safe, but she was sick of it. “Stop it, Ayatsuji.” She says, and her tone is firm and almost commanding. “I’m sick of you acting like this. I chose to accept the position to be your assistant and I don’t regret it. Even if you do.”
The detective goes silent after that. He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t regret that she was the one who worked with him for the past few years. They had been some of the best of his life after all. He was just bitter it had to end this way. Maybe they could have actually had some semblance of a future together if they met in a different way… or in a different life. “I never said I regretted it.” He finally rejoins, his voice softer now.
“Well you’re acting like it.” She mutters, though the own firmness of her voice had melted away when she heard how he was talking.
He scoffs again, though this time it was more like the usual scoffs she heard from him, the ones that showed he was paying attention instead of judging. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the sound until she heard it again. “You should get out of here while you still can.” He tells her, switching the topic yet again.
“I’ll take my chances.” She shrugs.
“You really are an idiot.” He mutters, rolling his eyes. “My ability could kill you at any moment. You should have just sent Sakaguchi or whoever to finish the job.”
That causes Tsujimura to laugh, though it doesn’t have any humour in it. “Of course, that’s what you think. I’m here to just ‘finish the job’. I’m insulted. I’m here because I’ve been worried about you.”
Ayatsuji almost looks over at her, but stops himself. She was worried about him? On second thought, of course, she was; she always worried over things. But he can’t help the little twinge of joy he feels at the words, though. He shakes away the feeling and tosses a small rock down the waterfall. “I always told you you worried too much.”
“And I always told you you never worried enough.” She retorts.
Once again, there’s silence. Neither knew what else to say. They both knew what was going to happen, what had been set in stone as soon as Tsujimura had set out to find the other. Now it was just knowing when the event was going to take place. She looks over and finds him still staring down at the water, almost as if it were the only thing there was to look at. She sighs and closes her eyes, trying to think.
Then Ayatsuji looks over at her. As soon as he did it, he knew it was a mistake. He looks away instantly, but it is already too late. Another activates and Tsujimura feels a sort of ripping sensation in her chest. She opens her eyes and brings a hand to her ribcage where her heart is.
“Shit.” Ayatsuji curses under his breath, looking over at the assistant again. He could tell something was wrong. He watches her bring a hand to her chest and reaches out for her. His hand hesitates, however, and he doesn’t touch her. “What does it feel like?” He asks, suddenly more serious than he had ever been.
“As if something is ripping. And I’m getting dizzy.” She tells him and closes her eyes to try and steady herself. It doesn’t do anything to help, and she leans against him for support. He quickly shifts and moves so that he’s holding her, her head and shoulders resting in his lap.
He doesn’t know what to do. At this point, there was nothing to do. He couldn’t stop his ability, no matter how hard he tried. He brings a hand to her hair and gently rests his hand on her head. “I can’t stop it now. I’m so sorry.” He says quietly, panic beginning to seep into his bones. He didn’t know what else to say, to tell her. He wanted to reassure her that it was going to be fine, that he could fix this, but he couldn’t. She was dying and there was nothing he could do.
Tsujimura looks up at him. In that moment she realizes how pretty his eyes are. A kind of golden that reminded her of a rice field. She smiles, a weak but happy expression and says, “It’s alright. I don’t blame you.” She trails off for a moment and her feelings for him come back to the forefront of her mind. It certainly wasn’t the most important thing right now, but what else was she supposed to think about? She might as well tell him. If she didn’t now she never would. “I never told you how beautiful the color of your eyes were.” She begins softly. “I also never told you how I felt about you…”
“Tsujimura,” Ayatsuji interrupts, looking down at her. “Stop it.” The command is weak and it almost seems as if he’s on the verge of tears.
She doesn’t listen to him, however, and continues, “You’re going to think I’m dumb for this, but I love you. I have for a while now. I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t help it.”
“Tsujimura..” Ayatsuji repeats, his voice wavering. He doesn’t say anything for another moment and then manages, “I love you too.”
She smiles ever so slightly more and brings a shaky hand up to his face, cupping his cheek. They simply look at each other in silence, and then he kisses her. It’s short and chaste, but it’s full of tender love. He continues to watch her after that and a few minutes later, he can tell she was gone. He feels a few tears slip from his eyes and roll down his face. He then gently leans down again and kisses her forehead lightly. “I’m sorry, Mizuki.” He whispers.
The Division arrives on the scene to find Ayatsuji still holding the woman, his eyes closed. He doesn’t open them as he hears the sound of boots marching towards him and stays completely wordless as a sniper takes aim and lets out a single shot.