Chapter Text
Rain drummed down outside, battering the windows. It soaked everything, the dirt turning to mud and pooling with water, the sidewalk covered in puddles, and the gullies of the roads speeding into rushing torrents. The outside world was cold and wet, but where Laura sat, on the plush couch in the comforting living room of her home, she was dry and warm. Outside the rain covered the sounds and smells of the city. A blindfold that blanketed over senses and could make the world unfamiliar and hard to navigate. but the rain didn't reach inside, where the smells were left to float in the air and the sounds from the kitchen were clear and familiar. The air let scents linger but the couch, the blankets and the pillows would really hold them, surrounding Laura with the smell of home and family even as she sat by herself. While the sounds being carried from the kitchen reminded her she wasn't really alone.
Humming and the sound of a small spoon clinking against the walls of a mug grew nearer. Laura tipped her head over just as Wade rounded the corner into her line of sight. His humming turned to quiet singing as he handed her a mug of hot chocolate and sat down beside her with his own. The serene atmosphere wasn't broken as they sat together without talking. Wade's soft singing intermittently faded back to humming where he forgot lyrics but he didn't drop the tune. The noise played as a fitting background for their peaceful night.
They had found each other in the kitchen a few hours after midnight, both unable to sleep. Wade had lit up when he saw her, the way he so often did, reminding Laura without words that she was wanted, that she wasn't a burden. He had ushered her into the living room telling her he would be right back and jabbering on about how excited he was to have another late night deep conversation with her. In the short time it took for Wade to make their hot chocolates, which he always insisted for this type of thing, Laura had re-arranged half the living room. She had take all the pillows and meticulously placed them on the couch in organized chaos. She took the three blankets they kept scatter in the room and assembled them wherever she felt they were needed. It was a habit she had been indulging in recently, something she had always felt an urge to do, but never the space or safety to do it. It wasn't until she had caught Logan stuffing one of Wade's sweaters into his own amalgamation of pillows and blankets that she had begun doing the same.
The living room was always changing, everything being moved and rearranged, the couch made into a comfortable pile they could all gather in. only for everything to be put away again when they had guests over. The guests, even if they were all familiar and friendly, would drag in a plethora of new smells that insisted on clinging to their furniture. Upsetting the natural comfort of home the living room tried to hold onto. The routine was frustrating at times, having to put everything away and then remake the pile a few times a week, but that problem didn't reach further then the living room. Whatever guests they had over hardly ever making it upstairs where only the people Laura knew best's scents lingered. Laura's bedroom in particular was undisturbed by the outside world. She had put a lot of effort into making her bed as comforting as possible for herself. It was the kind of luxury she had never even considered before, but once she had felt it. Once she had lay in her bed, surrounded by soft things and smells that meant home. A huge blanket tucked behind the headboard and held up by the end of her bed with a tall stool and floor lamp creating a little tent she felt safe in. The simple act of surrounding herself with comfort felt so right she didn't know how she had ever gone without it.
Laura's life had changed so completely in the past two months. Before, it had sometimes felt like she had been fighting since the moment she was born, only ever surviving to the next day, never thriving, never really living. She had had moments of peace in her life, moments she almost felt like a normal kid, but they had been so far outweighed by the times she was fighting for her life that they all seemed like distant memories. The unforgiving fight for survival had been the only routine she had ever known, until recently.
Finding Logan in the void had been painful. Seeing this man who looked like a younger healthier version of her dad, who was a healthier version of her dad. It had been difficult to even look at him, drunk, angry, so much like her father. That had hurt, but it was almost worse after, when the TVA sent her to live with Wade and Logan. Where in the void Logan had been like her father, in the aftermath living in New York, he was almost completely unrecognizable. His armored suit had been traded for jeans and soft shirts, the bottles of liquor turned to beer, and the abrasive attitude all but disappeared. In some ways it had been a relief, a clear chance at a new start she never thought she could have. Seeing how much change Logan had gone through, how completely different he was, it showed Laura she could change too. That she couldn't be too far gone if he hadn't been. For as gratifying as the change in both of them had been, a small aching part of her nagged.
This is what Logan looked like when he loved. He did it fiercely, and openly.
All those years ago. On that road trip that she looked back on as the best and worst week of her life. The Logan she traveled with had been mean. Sick and cruel and rough, and in the years since Laura had convinced herself that while he hadn't been kind, hadn't called her his, that he had in some way loved her. That in his last moments he hadn't regretted meeting her. She held that belief, deep in her chest where no one could see it, no one could tell her it wasn't true. In her toughest moments she had told herself that she had to keep going, because her dad had loved her, and he had died for her.
Now in light of seeing what a Wolverine really looked like when he cared out of more then just obligation, she knew it was just something she told herself. A comforting fib that she childishly refused to let go of. Telling herself it was the truth had been a anchor when everything else in her life was uncertain and everchanging. Having settled into a life ripe with domesticity she didn't need it anymore. With the truth of how her father would have changed, had he loved her, clear and unignorable in front of her, that old lie was slipping through her fingers.
The new Logan a taunting display of what could have been, one she couldn't resist. He took care of them and their home. He was affectionate, almost clingy. He would encompass Laura in his arms and rub his cheek on the top of her head. He would carry Mary around and talk to her like she could understand his explanations and commentary. And while he hadn't quite yet admitted to the extent of his obvious feelings for Wade the affection between them was no less prominent. When getting himself comfortable among the mound of blankets on the couch he tended to, whether he knew it or not, settle as close to Wade as possible.
After he relaxed into Wade's side or when he had Laura wrapped in his arm he would do something even more unexpected. The first time Laura had felt the rumble deep in his chest she thought he had to cough, that he would clear his throat and it would go away, but it had persisted and it didn't take long for her to realize he had been purring. Laura had never heard it in anyone other then herself but the rumble that came from Logan's chest was the same that came from her. The same that she had once done when her father had slept with his head in her lap.
That moment sitting in the stolen car purring while her dad finally slept was one of her favorite memories with him, even if his own breathing had stayed clear, never matching her purr. When he drifted off she thought he would copy her in his sleep, but the only acknowledgement he gave was a blank look as his eyes had slipped shut. Her own purr slowing to a stop at his silence, left wondering why he hadn't purred. After that day she had thought her father couldn't purr, that it was something their mutations didn't have in common. She truly believed that she had never heard her father purr for the simple reason that he couldn't, but with Logan holding her close and rumbling in contentment she began to wonder if maybe he had been able too. The thought that her father had been able purr, but had simply never done it near her had upset her so much she hadn't been able to answer Logan's purr with her own that very first time. Only pushing herself impossibly closer to his chest nearly wishing she could crawl inside and be surrounded by the sound. The second time Logan had held her and purred she had responded in kind. The delight on his face when he noticed her quiet rumble had nearly made her cry, so different from the blank almost defeated look her dad had given her all those years ago. Though in all honesty he had looked defeated the whole time she had known him.
Every soft thing Logan did widened the chasm in Laura's chest where she had once held her father.
The slowly growing pain had become too much to bear earlier that evening. Logan had been cooking the three of them dinner. He had looked so comfortable in their kitchen, taking care of them. Something inside her had cracked. The truth became too much to ignore. If that was what Logan looked like when he cared, when he loved something, then her father truly had never loved her. She knew Logan loved her, there was a relief of its own in that, but the more affectionate Logan was the more it proved to her it wasn't that her father was incapable of being soft, it was just that he didn't care to do it for her.
Laura had sat at the kitchen island with Wade while Logan cooked, she had held herself together through dinner, but it wasn't long after that when she retreated to her room. She found comfort under the sheet draped over her bed hidden away from whole world kept safe by all the soft things surrounding her. Sleep hadn't found her. She lay there running through every moment she had had with her dad, and every minute she had spent with Logan so far. They were undeniably similar in far more then just appearances, but her father had never loved her like Logan did.
The thoughts had kept her up. Her long held belief that her father had loved her crumbling from the fissures that had begun appearing over the passed two months. Ever moment Logan showed her how he treated those he loved reminding her that her own father had never treated her that way. It wasn't something she wanted to talk to Logan about, she hardly talked about her dad to begin with and if she was going to confide in someone about him she didn't want it to be Logan. She never wanted to make him feel like a replacement. Wade however was someone she felt she could talk to about her father. They had never met, but Wade always seemed to know more then he should, always had enough context for any given conversation even when there was no way for him to have gotten it.
"Logan isn't like how my dad was," she said interrupting Wade mid chorus.
Wade responded immediately and Laura thought maybe he had already known what was on her mind.
"What can I say, a shower and a meal can really change a guy," Wade joked.
Laura took a breath before responding.
"It's not just that, my dad he..." She trailed off trying to find the words to explain exactly what her dad was.
"He saved me, and some other kids," She started with, knowing at the very least that was true.
"Yeah, was still pretty devastating though huh?" Wade corroborated.
"He saved us, but he didn't care," Laura admitted, not only to Wade but herself as well.
"well now what in the donkey's ass makes you say that?" Wade asked incredulous.
"He hated me" Laura confessed the words feeling like ash in her mouth.
"He might have been an emotionally dense asshole, but he definitely didn't hate you," Wade tried to assure her.
"He did!" She insisted, and Wade took the mug from her hands and put it on the side table to join his.
"Because Logan loves me and my father never treated me like he does" Laura snapped.
Wade put his hands on her shoulders placatingly. He took deep breaths and Laura, watching as his chest expanded and collapsed, began to copy him.
"I know it sucks to have people say your asshole parent cared about you, so you can tell me to shut up, or stab me if you really want" Wade said tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.
He was always saying things like that. Offering for her to stab him if she was even remotely upset. There were a lot of things about Wade that were difficult to understand, but his open offer for violence against himself was something she had come to appreciate. She knew it was Wade's way of reminding her she didn't have to talk about anything she didn't want to. His way of letting her decide, even when words were beyond her, that she had had enough. Some parts of Laura also felt he was telling her he wasn't going anywhere, not from anything she did to him, and not from any seemingly fatal wounds.
"but Logan, your Logan, he didn't hate you, I mean hell, by the end he really loved you, he really did Mini Wolverine, yeah he sucked at showing it and he was a depressed mean alcoholic dying from his own badass metal bones, but he cared, and if he could have, he would have stayed with you. Unfortunately it just ended with the beloved angsty trope of finding something to live for just when it becomes too late" Wade assured her, one hand lifted from her shoulder too move around as though that made him more convincing.
"But Logan can show it! He shows it all the time! If he can why couldn't my dad!" Laura countered.
"Well I think he's like one of those dogs from the videos where they find them in some alley all fucked up and angry but after a few months they become cuddle bugs. Your dad loved you, but he was still all fucked up and stuck in a metaphorical alley, if he had a flea bath and some more time he would have been just like Logan, I'm sure of it" Wade said confidently.
Wade did most things confidently. He went into everything he did like he knew it was the absolute best way forward. He made things work even when all the odds were facing against him. Nearly everything he said he said like fact, and despite what most people thought he tended to be right. Maybe he was right about this too.
"Your dad and Logan both love you, but Logan can show it better because he's got a home, he's safe" Wade said petting through her hair.
"It's not fair," Laura said her voice giving away the choke of emotion in her throat.
She knew life wasn't fair. It was a childish complaint.
"You're right, it's not fair, and you can be mad about it, maybe you can beat this Logan up a bit if that would make you feel better, the offer to stab me still stands,"
There was no resolution to be had, no true closure she would ever get. Laura knew her father was dead and buried and it was far too late to ever learn how he felt about her. But having Wade sit with her, tell her her father had loved her, it was a catharsis of its own. She had lost her father but there were these two people in her life that, while new, seemed ready to step into the role she had ached for. To fill part of the gap her dad had left, even if she knew it could never fully go away.
Wade held Laura until her breathing calmed. The crack in her chest slowly sealing over her still beating heart. They finished their drinks and Wade left her only for a moment to put their mugs back in the kitchen. When he returned Laura lifted her arms in a silent plea and he picked her up as though she was a child and not nearly an adult. He placed her in bed, hidden from the world by her sheet tent.
Laura's sensitive hearing couldn't reach the top floor that Wade claimed for himself, but she could hear one floor up where Logan's room was. Where she could hear Wade quietly sneak into Logan's room.