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“Yuta…?”
They half whispered while trying to grab their twin brother’s wrist.
“Please stay longer… just a little…?”
They were looking at the floor, praying he’d agree to staying by their side, like when they were children. They knew he wouldn’t leave leave, but not being able to feel Yuta would already be way more than enough to cause a panic attack with Hinata’s current mental state.
“I’m tired, Hinata.. I should go back to my own dorm, I’m sorry-“
Hinata attached themself to Yuta’s back, trying everything they can to keep Yuta from stepping outside of their dorm.
“please… just a little bit…”
They could barely keep themself from sobbing on the spot, but they’re still the older sibling right now, so they have to stay strong.
Yuta sighed, then tried to turn around so he was facing Hinata, pulling them up to look them in the eyes. The same eyes that he had.
“Tell me what’s up, big bro… you’re crying about me going back to my own dorm to go to bed when usually you’re overprotective of me, nagging me to go sleep as soon as I can and all- what’s going on?”
A tear fell down while they looked at the floor, they made Yuta worry… they just wanted him to stay- not burden him with their feelings…
But they can’t ignore him now- they’ve never been able to, so, no matter how hard it is, they have to tell him the truth…
They whispered, as quietly as possible, hoping Yuta wouldn’t hear it at all-
“ …I really want to kill myself right now… ”
A few seconds of silence and no movement, neither of the twins knowing what to do in this situation… Hinata had sworn to never tell Yuta about his suicidal feelings again after the Setsubun Festival a few years ago. Meanwhile Yuta was beating himself up in his head, he felt terrible, thinking Hinata was fine while all this time they had been suffering, and he wasn’t even there to help him- he was a terrible brother, even his defense of being the younger bro wouldn’t help him in this situation.
Finally, Yuta hugged them again. “I won’t leave… I will never leave you, Hinata. I promise.”
Hinata started crying properly, unable to hold back any longer. Sobbing in Yuta’s arms. Finally letting them in on their pain, they’d regret it later- they don’t want Yuta to feel any of it, they want Yuta to be happy. They want Yuta to live a life without feeling the slightest bit of pain ever again… but it’s just a little too much for Hinata to handle on their own, so, for once, they needed Yuta to catch them, instead of the other way around.
Yuta patted their head gently, then tried to make Hinata look at them again.
“Can I be... the younger one today..?” Hinata managed to get out through the tears. They had been swapping roles sometimes, but it wasn’t like this. Most of the time it didn’t require Yuta to actually take care of Hinata. Yuta didn’t even really know.. how to, but he’s going to try… Hinata has been through enough, and Yuta wanted to show them that they’re not alone. Not now, not ever. Not as long as Yuta is alive.
“Of course, I’ll do my best to be a good big brother tonight~!” He smiled at Hinata.
“You won’t leave… right?”
Yuta shook his head while trying to keep Hinata from putting their thumb back into their mouth. He just held their hand for a while, like they used to do as children whenever one of them felt lonely, or whenever their father yelled at them for something stupid again. Whenever they were scared, or happy even. Kind of just.. all the time.
All snuggled up against Yuta, they tried to stay awake. Making sure he won’t leave… and just to spend time with him. It’s been a while since they were properly able to.
Yuta grabbed the Tetora plush from the side of Hinata’s bed, and handed it to Hinata while gently smiling at them. They immediately started hugging it as if it was gonna be taken away again at any moment.
Hinata looked up at Yuta, almost expecting him to do something- but he didn’t know how to take care of Hinata... or really anyone.
Yuta looked back with a confused expression.
“Do you need anything?”
Hinata nodded, no indication of being verbal at the moment, which made Yuta’s job so much harder-
Hinata started pouting, but more of a very sad pout, like they were about to cry at any moment again…
“… ‘m tired…” they managed to get out. Yuta sighed with relief and made Hinata lay down on their bed.
“Big bro will tuck you in, then~”
And so he did, putting the blankets over them, he pats their head gently.
He then grabbed the Tetsu plush again and put it next to Hinata, he knows how much that little guy meant to them, and tucked him in too.
“Good night, sleep well.”
He kissed Hinata’s forehead.
“… love you..~” They whisper right before dozing off. They fell asleep with a slight smile, for the first time in a while.
“I love you too, Hinata.”
He decided to stay by their side the entire night, he’d not get much sleep but that’s okay. He’d sacrifice some sleep for Hinata’s happiness- just like how Hinata would do for him in a heartbeat.
He’ll make sure Hinata will feel loved, like the good big bro he is~