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She smells different.
Inuyasha’s sense of smell, save for twelve nights a year, has been his saving grace for most of his life. Smelling trouble from afar, demons, and Kagome when she reappeared in the well. So he knows when something is different, no matter how marginal the change is.
And Kagome smells different.
Sweeter, more fresh. A tinge of something he’s not used to. It’s addicting; he’s been spending more time inhaling the skin of her neck in long hugs, more time pressing his lips to new parts of her body—her shin, navel, the insides of her wrists. Spending longer after making love to take care of Kagome, doting on her, craving her in an entirely new way.
Kagome doesn’t mind, in fact, she relishes the extra attention Inuyasha has been giving her. She points it out offhandedly, and that’s what triggers Inuyasha to think more critically—hadn’t he always been this way with her?
“ Hey, Inuyasha. I’m not complaining or anything, but you’ve gotten a lot more cuddly these days. ”
“ What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kagome shrugged, bending down to retrieve some clothes that had gotten washed and needed to be hung on a line. “ Not that I mind, or anything like that. It’s like when it’s close to my time of the month, and I get more clingy? ”
Inuyasha had scowled, yanking the wet material from her hands. “ And what’s wrong with that?” he had muttered.
Kagome stopped him in his tracks, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “ Nothing. ”
He figures it out a few days later, while watching Kagome from a distance, as she holds her stomach in an all too familiar way—like Sango had when she was pregnant. She never does that, and Inuyasha is sure of it. He’s memorised all of her little habits and poses, down to the miniscule and fractional bits. Like this position. It’s a new one.
It all crashes down on Inuyasha like a landslide. The clinginess. The scent. The overprotectiveness that had come out. The newfound glow in her skin.
She’s pregnant.
He'd thought about this before, thinking it wouldn't happen immediately, or even in the short term future. They would just be them for a while, existing as a pair. Still relearning parts of each other that they'd forgotten because of time. He still struggles sometimes, because of the separation—that distinct, swallowing panic that he couldn’t shake for years, no matter how long had passed still lingers, deep in his chest, when he’s away from Kagome on extermination missions, and he hates how frail he’s gotten for it—but it’s Kagome, after all. That feeling is alleviated by being near Kagome, smelling her, feeling her touch. She has this ability to calm him with a single look.
Not now, though. Every time he’s near her, falling asleep next to her with their skin pressed together, he remembers the baby . The Baby. Their baby. He’s struck by something closer to panic than joy, and it stays lodged in his throat for days to come. He worries, incessantly, about what it means for their future child—what kind of combination it would be. Part demon, part human, like him? More demon than human? More human than anything else? And what would that mean for them? What would it mean to Kagome? Does she want this? Right now?
Kagome notices the dulled mood eventually, and prods at him before bed one night.
“Is being a human for one night that awful Inuyasha? We’re safe here. And I love playing with your human ears anyway.” She reaches over at a cross legged Inuyasha, leaning against the wall with his sword, tugging on an ear cheerfully. “I don’t discriminate.”
“No,” he mumbles. “You should get going to bed. You have an early start tomorrow, don’t you?”
“I’ll stay up with you, if you like. You seem more down these days… maybe we could talk about what’s bothering you?”
“It’s nothing, Kagome,” he lies. “Go to bed now. You won’t be able to get up in the morning, and it’ll be on me to wake you up.”
“You know, you can always talk to—”
“I know, I know,” he says, waving her off. If she continues like this, he’ll for sure slip up and it will all come crashing down on her. He doesn’t need to stress her unnecessarily like this. Not when…
He’s convinced with a pout to join her under their shared blanket, and he buries his nose in her hair as he holds her, his hands wrapping around her stomach, in their natural way. Kagome is appeased for now, humming contently, asking Inuyasha to inch even closer to her.
His fingers run over her stomach slowly, stroking it with care, that night, wondering if she knows, yet. If he should say anything at all.
+
Being a human sucks, frankly.
Besides being significantly weaker, he’s more susceptible to sleepiness, and where sleep finds him, nightmares follow.
This one plays on his current fears, a twisted amalgamation of blood, sweat, hard labour, and then silence. Losing Kagome, and losing their child. It’s dark, and it reminds him of that painful loneliness he’d dealt with before meeting Kagome, and after losing her, even briefly. As strong as he is with her by his side, he can’t remotely go through anything like that again.
He jolts awake, sweating, snapping upright. It perturbes Kagome, who turns around, and sits up when she notices Inuyasha’s bent over frame.
“Inuyasha?” her hand comes around to stroke his back. “What is it?”
He takes a second to reply, not sure what to lead with. Kagome still needs to sleep some more; he can’t keep her up too late. “It was just—just a bad dream.”
“What about?” she asks softly, pulling him in to curl in on her. He leans on her, arms lacing around her, melting into her. She’s the most peaceful corner of his soul. “You can tell me.”
His heart rate slows as he feels Kagome’s warmth envelop him. “It was… about my mother.” He chokes on his next sentence, wanting to tell the truth, but it falls short, and he doesn’t. He can’t burden her like this. Not right now. He should just wait it out until she feels ready to tell him, and he shouldn’t voice any of his fears—trivial to major. He should be able to withstand the pressure of it all.
She makes a sound of comfort, pressing a kiss to his temple. “You don’t have to say anything else. You’re safe here, with me.”
Kagome has always been the sweeter of the two, but at night, when it’s just them, he finds them even closer than possible. Something in the dark strips them down. “I always feel safe around you,” he says, voice near a whisper.
She kisses him, and he thanks her.
“You’re silly, thanking me for something as simple as a kiss. Now come on, I want to hold you.”
Everything about Kagome is anything but simple.
+
He knows he’s being overbearing—well, not really, when you consider how many dangers were constantly being presented around Kagome. There’s the stray demon, the faraway but never quite gone threat of their past sneaking up on them again, and more mundane things like unnatural weather patterns that pass over them sometimes.
Following Kagome around takes up a lot of his days. He follows her as she does her chores, miko training, healing. Always a few footsteps behind. Brushing her hair for her after baths, carrying heavy things, intercepting when a task looks like it may make her break a sweat.
She likes it at first, taking all the ample opportunities to steal away with Inuyasha for kisses, happy with the attention. Her level of desire to be with him seems to be quite high too, with how happily she accepts all the doting. But, eventually, it starts making her weary—sighing loudly as Inuyasha declines yet another day-long mission, or finding herself being accompanied to not so distant areas that she’s accustomed to going alone.
It happens again. Inuyasha notices her tight smile as she tries to ignore his presence while she helps out an injured villager.
“Remind me again Inuyasha… why are you here? Didn’t Miroku sign you two up for a mission?”
“I sent him on his own.”
She looks up at him in disbelief, tightening the wrapping around the poor villagers arm a little too tightly. “Again? That’s the second time this week. What, are you getting scared of a few pesky demons?”
Ignoring half of her reply, he says, “He doesn’t need me for this one. Besides, he’s got more mouths to feed.” His cheeks glow at the fact that he would have another person to take care of too. Soon.
Kagome ignores him, sending off the villager with final instructions for care. She turns around after sending him off, hands on her hips.
“Tell me… is there a reason we’re spending so much time together?”
“Do I need a reason?”
Kagome sighs, bending to lift the small barrel of water she’d left inside. She stumbles, misplacing her weight, and the water sloshes—Inuyasha juts out to grab it from her before she topples over with it.
“Watch it!”
“What is it, Inuyasha!”
“What’s what ?”
“Why are you… hovering !”
“I’m not hovering! I’m being a normal husband.”
“It’s like—it’s like you think I can’t protect myself or something! Or do simple things like lift this! It’s been days of this.”
Scowling, Inuyasha holds on to her elbow, careful of his claws nicking her. “Well, yeah . You need to be more careful now that you’re—” he cuts himself off, swallowing his words. His face flashes with discomposure.
“Now that what?” Kagome mirrors his embarrassment, a slow red creeping down her cheekbones. Usually, Inuyasha lives for that colour on her skin, always in response to one of his advances or teasing words. As few and far as those are, he’s gotten better at luring those kinds of reactions out of Kagome.
His hand drops down to her stomach, caressing it lightly. “You’re…”
“I’m pregnant,” she finishes.
Inuyasha blinks. “I knew that!”
“You knew already?”
“Of course I knew. I could smell it. You knew?”
A small sign of incredulity crosses Kagome’s face. “It’s my body, of course I did!”
“Well—” Inuyasha sputters, unsure what direction this conversation is going in. “Why didn't you tell me?”
Kagome’s arms cross in an adamant fashion. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“I… it’s stupid.”
“What’s stupid is that you noticed and you didn’t say anything!”
“I didn’t because I was worried, okay?!”
“Worried about what?”
He looks to the side, unable to meet her eyes. The sting of tears that he would have never felt before Kagome burns, though he blinks it away quickly before they surface. “That you’d maybe resent me for having a baby that has some demon blood. That I’d be dooming you and our child to something like my childhood.”
Kagome’s hands reach up to cup Inuyasha’s face, and her expression softens. Really, it melts. “Oh, Inuyasha. I would never. So much has changed since then. We’re surrounded by loving friends, and we have each other. There would be nothing but love.”
“You say that now, but when—”
Kagome pulls him into a fierce embrace. Her voice is muffled against his shoulder as she says, “When, nothing. I only wish I’d known you back then to protect you.”
His heart floods with relief. She’d be protective as she is now, for their future child. His arms tighten around her lower back, pressing her closer to his chest. “I don’t need any protection, dummy.”
“You can pretend to be as tough as you’d like, but I know better. Things will be better for our child.” She stops to giggle, pulling back to peer at Inuyasha’s face.
“What’s so funny?”
“ Our child, Inuyasha. We’re going to have a baby!”
A small smile winds its way on Inuyasha’s lips. The prospect of being a parent makes him blush. “You still haven’t told me why you didn’t tell me.”
“Oh… that.” She looks away, but Inuyasha uses a hand to prop her face back towards him. “I was also worried. That maybe we aren’t ready. That I’m not ready. I always thought I’d have Mama for these kinds of things, and I suppose I got into my head about being able to handle it. If I’d be any good.”
“I’m sorry,” Inuyasha says, heart strings tugging. Growing up without a mother is one kind of pain, and losing one prematurely is another kind. “I know I can’t replace her… and so can’t anyone else, but you have all of us.” He struggles with how to word his admiration for Kagome. “If anyone could handle it, it would be you. Your kindness… and strength… it’s changed so many lives.”
“Thank you, Inuyasha. Maybe you really are ready to be a dad. What will she call you? Papa?”
“She?”
“I want a girl, honestly. I loved Sota growing up, but a girl would be everything. Especially if she gets your little ears!”
“Hey,” he says, trying to express warning, but it falls, as another smile breaks his lips. Images of Kagome with their child floods his mind, and a new kind of warmth fills his body. So foreign and scary, but comforting at the same time. Truthfully, he’s been waiting for a day like this. And then she disappeared. And came back. And with it, his heart had been restored. “So you can torture yet another soul, playing with ears all day?”
“That wasn’t what you were saying last night!”
“ Hey. ”
“It’s the truth!” She loops her arms around Inuyasha’s waist, lacing them at the back. “I’m excited, honestly.”
“I am, too,” Inuyasha says, overcome by some emotion—feeling the moment is due for a kiss, he leans in to meet her lips.
+
“Hey, Kagome.” Inuyasha leans on his elbow while lying down on his side, pausing his patting on Kagome’s body. She turns around, blinking sleepily. They’d gone down for bed a while ago, perhaps an hour, but had been conversing in soft voices, about the baby, about some things they’d somehow missed talking about during the day, and reminiscing on old memories—that seems to come up daily.
“Mm?”
“Can I take a peek?”
A small flash of confusion crosses Kagome’s face before she understands. “There’s hardly anything there, yet.”
“Still. I want to see,” he says stubbornly.
“There’s barely enough moonlight, but sure,” she says, sitting up.
“Let me,” he says, overtaking her efforts at doing the knot of her hikigoshi. He slips her robe off, going quiet at the sight. The smallest of bumps, barely perceptible. His sense of smell makes up for it.
Leaning down, he gently traces a few fingers over her stomach. He presses a kiss, looking up to catch Kagome’s blush.
He presses chaste kisses up, up, up, until he reaches the column of Kagome’s neck, her jaw, cheek, then lips. She welcomes it, wrapping her arms around the nape of his neck.
She pauses. “Will you still want me?”
“Of course I will. What kind of a lousy question is that?”
“You know. When my body looks different.”
He makes a sound of disagreement, making his disapproval clear. “I’ll only love you more.” A kiss to her lips. “Anything that happens from now, will you tell me? Right away? If something feels wrong, or you’re worried. I want to know.”
Kagome wriggles under him, smiling. “When did you become such a worrywart?”
A frown deepens on Inuyasha’s face. “Maybe when you literally disappeared in front of my eyes.”
“Sorry,” Kagome says. “I’ll tell you every nauseating detail, okay?”
“Good.”
Kagome lifts her head. “Your heart’s beating fast.”
Oh, that. It still does that when Kagome touches his heart like this.
“It's nothing,” he mumbles, pulling her closer. He’d let her listen to every beat. “I’m just excited.”
“Me, too.”