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This was, no doubt, her worst performance yet.
After bowing down to the judges to finish up her program, she couldn’t bring herself to lift her head back up. She could feel her face heating up from embarrassment and shame, and tried her best to hold back from sobbing. The soft clapping from the audience felt like it was mocking her. She did not want to face what’s coming next. She did not want to face the reality of how she failed so spectacularly. But alas, she had to. She weakly teetered to exit the rink.
It was Coach Atsushi that welcomed her back. Oh yeah, Coach Seiji isn’t here…
“You did your best, Manaka.”
Those words were the final straw. She could not hold back anymore and let out a sob. Then it became a series of multiple sobs. It was impossible to hold back anymore. She knew full well that it was not her best. After seeing Iruka’s sudden unexpected fall, she told herself to be strong. She told herself to stay composed. And yet…
There was an awkward pause. The young coach was at a loss on what to do. Manaka is a strong girl and ever spirited, even in the face of misfortunes. This was unlike her, but he couldn’t blame her at all. At this point, what could he possibly say to her? He was never as good as Coach Seiji in dealing with kids, much less a situation like this. But he understood that this is no time to lament on his shortcomings.
He crouched down to her level and gave Manaka a hug.
“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…” He repeated it softly into Manaka’s ear. Why did this happen today, of all days? To her, of all people? His mind flashed back to all those moments when Manaka worked herself to the bone to prepare for this day. All those moments when she fell down hard, and got herself back up. He could feel a painful twinge in his chest. She did not deserve this.
Manaka cried quietly into Coach Atsushi’s shoulder in what felt like forever. She could not hear anything else around her, other than her own sobbing. She gripped her coach’s jacket tightly, and that’s when she noticed– he was shaking. This was definitely hard for him too. This was hard for them all.
It felt like they’ve been embracing for both too long, and not long enough. She did not want to move from her spot. She did not need to sit at the kiss and cry to know what’s to come. And Coach Atsushi would like them to just stay there, until she’s calmed down a bit. But he knew that they don't have that luxury.
“Let’s go, Manaka.”