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“Want me to say I’m sorry?”
Olivia looked over at him with those narrowed eyes, and cocked her head to the side. Her grip tightened on the top of the steering wheel.
He shuffled his hands in his lap and replied reluctantly, “No, I want you to tell me it was all a bad dream.”
What did you think was going to happen?
She has a life and a kid now.
Elliot rubbed his sweaty palms against the rough fabric covering his knees.
Just because you spent the last five years sitting in that car hoping one day she’d look over at you and suddenly realize that you were the one person she couldn’t live without…
His eyes darted around, restless, but froze when he felt the warm touch of her hand on top of his. He stared straight ahead, not able to chance a sideways glance.
Was this really happening?
Her soft, strong fingers slid between his, enveloping him from above, as if to say, “I’ve got you.”
“Liv…” he whispered.
She looked over at him, her face a flood of emotions. He couldn’t avoid the pull of her eyes. Reaching out to her, he ran his thumb down the side of her embrace and squeezed back.
She shook her head and turned that intense stare back to the road. Her hand did not leave his. In fact, she had such a tough grasp on Elliot that it hurt his first two fingers just enough. Tears began to creep into her vision.
“El…” The words stuck in her throat. She shook her head again, like she was having a silent argument with herself. Then Olivia pulled off to the side of the road, wiping her eyes with her free hand.
Elliot shook her other hand gently. “Hey, hey,” he said until she looked over at him.
She licked her salty lips as they stared at each other, the air in the car getting warmer between them.
His body fully faced her now. “It’s ok, you hear me? I’m ok; I’m going to be ok.”
Olivia shook her head and looked down at her lap, sucking her top lip in, letting herself fall apart a little bit in front of the only person she’d ever felt safe to do that with.
“I don’t want to lose you again,” she said softly.
Elliot practically scooted over the entire center console. “Now listen here, listen to me.” He pulled her hand towards his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me. Ok?” He wasn’t going to let up until she acquiesced.
She felt his other hand on her hot, wet cheek. Olivia closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He always knew how to hold her together.
“I love you,” Elliot whispered, and this time he meant it. He meant it in a way he could never mean it in front of a room full of people. He meant it in a way he could never mean it in his confused and fragile state of mind the last time he said those words. “Olivia Margaret Benson, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere you’re not going. Got it?”
She couldn’t speak but Liv turned her lips towards his palm and kissed him there. She found that once she’d started kissing him, she couldn’t stop. She kissed his hand over and over until they were pulling each other closer. Elliot didn’t let go of her hand, but slid his other around the back of her neck and let his fingers play with her hair.
He nuzzled her face, still almost not believing any of this was real. She let go of his hand to run hers across his hard chest, and then she pulled his shoulders closer to her. The rough texture of his day-old stubble scratched against her face not unpleasantly. She felt like she could barely breathe.
By the time their lips met, each of them had fallen so far for each other that there was no way back.