Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

One day in The RPGMaker Multiverse, there was a kid named Russell Seager. Now in this Alternate Universe, he is friends with other Protags.

The ones he hangs out the most is Madotsuki, Sunny, Charlotte, Allen, and Goldia

Now Russell enjoys his time with friends. But he thinks he doesn't deserve all that. Russell is most of the time in a negative mindset. He start to think of the possible future that he might have with his partners. Will it be a happy one? And more importantly....

.....what can they even do together?

As he was thinking this, he was scrolling through the internet, looking at forums and watching cute bunny videos.

But then, there was something that has caught his eye. A video titled "Pokemon Battle Royale" from a channel called "DEATH BATTLE!".

Russell became intrigued by this, he decided to watch the full video and after that, he decided to check this channel out.

Russell learned that this is a show based on researching characters from different types of media and finding out who would win if those characters would face each other in a fight to the death. It involves characters from RPGs, Anime, Comic Book, Live Action Movies, etc.

Russell thought that this seems to be a good watch, but then another thought came by.

"Could this be a hangout activity that me and my friends could enjoy for a while?"

As he thought this, Russell then immediately grabbed his phone and starts calling Sunny.

Sunny can be seen playing NASU trying to beat Madotsuki's highscore while Madotsuki watches with a smug smile on her face. Later, Sunny has failed on his 80th time.

"Ugh! This game is just so hard!" Sunny yelled and then he threw the controller onto the ground.

Madotsuki then starts to chuckle, which would then embarrassed Sunny, looking away from her. Madotsuki feels bad. She then goes to calm Sunny down.

"Hey Sunny, if you think I'm making fun of you, I'm sorry. You know I would never do that."

Sunny sighs. "I know. I'm sorry too, that was wrong of me to burst like that" Madotsuki would then hug Sunny.

"There, there. It's okay. You could always get better." Madotsuki reassured Sunny.

Suddenly, Sunny's phone started ringing. Letting go from Madotsuki's grasp, he noticed that Russell's calling, which is a rare sight.

"Huh, weird. Russell doesn't usually call any one of us." Sunny stated. He then pick up the phone and him and Russell starts a conversation.

....

"Okay, Russell. I'll see if my other friends are available. See you later!" Sunny would hang up.

"What were you and Russell talking about?" Madotsuki asked.

"So Russell found a show that he seemed to like and thought that we could have a watch party and have fun as friends." Sunny answering Madotsuki's question.

"Oh sweet! Do you know anyone that we could invite?"

"Well, I'll ask Charlotte, Allen, and Goldia if they would be interested."

"Cool! Now, when will we go?"

As Russell was watching TV, he heard a doorbell ringing close to him. Could that be them?

He decided to walk to that door, opened it, and he can see Madotsuki, Sunny, Charlotte, Allen, Goldia right in front of him.

"Oh! Huh, you actually came?" Surprised, Russell didn't think that they would agree to come.

"Of course, Russell!" Said Charlotte. "Now Russell, what will we be doing for our hangout"

"Oh, I have found a cool show that I could maybe with other people, and since you're my friends, I thought that you might enjoy watching it as much as I do."

"I see. So uh, Russell. What kind of show we will be watching?" Allen asked.

"This show called Death Battle."

"Death Battle? Sounds extreme. What is it about?" Asked Goldia.

Well it is about.......

"So yeah, that's basically the entire series."

"Well now I'm intrigued, though I am a bit iffy on the "death" part." Goldia stated.

"Yeah, but it would be cool to see my favorite characters in action! Unless they lose, but they could still have some cool moments." Sunny stated.

"So, are you guys interested?" Russell asked. "I already seen one episode and it's pretty cool."

"Well, if that's what you want then sure!" Charlotte exclaimed. Everyone else nods their heads.

"Wow, I'm surprised. Now then, let me set the room first."

After a couple of minutes, everyone is in position, ready to watch the series with the wide TV on the wall. Snacks and drinks are also ready thanks to Sunny & Allen.

"Okay, Russell. It's time." Madotsuki said. "Now, let's see what's first".

Russell grabs the remote, goes to the episode list to see that the first episode is.......

Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Star Wars VS Metroid)

"Oh neat, it's Boba Fett, the bounty hunter from Star Wars!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Against Samus Aran from Metroid? That sounds cool!" Madotsuki said.

"Alright everyone, shall we start?" Everyone said yes!

Okay! In 3, 2, 1.......

Chapter Text

As the episode starts, a wall of text appears in a few seconds.

1. Combatants have no prior knowledge of each other unless specified.

2. To ensure a fair fight, any specific moral restraints from killing are removed from combatants. All other traits are considered.

3. A combatant's maximum personal potential is examined unless specified otherwise. Factors unrelated to combatants cannot end the battle.

4. Unless specified, all official material related to a character is applied unless found contradictory to the primary source material.

5. Any kinds of outside help will not be allowed

Everyone understood the rules.

"Though the rule of removing someone's morality, does that mean we could a person who is considered good, kind, and non-violent commit an act of......... ending someone's life?" Goldia asked.

"I guess so? Imagine someone like Aang from Avatar killing someone in cold blood. That would be very off to see." Sunny stated.

"Speaking of Aang, I wonder if he might appear in this show?" Madotsuki wondered.

"Maybe? Anyway, Russell, start the episode!"

[As the episode starts, a metal text with blood stains spelling "Death Battle" can be seen while Heavy Metal can be heard playing]

Boomstick: Bounty hunting, one of the most respected and fun jobs in the world.

Wiz: I don't know about respected, but certainly a daring profession only for the strong and bold.

Boomstick: Boba Fett, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Wiz: And Samus Aran, a hunter so determined she'll sacrifice a planet to reach her goal.

"Woah, she's really that desperate to get the job done, huh." Allen commented.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

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Boba Fett

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Wiz: Boba Fett is a natural in more ways than one. He was not born into the galaxy, rather, created, as a clone of the fearsome bounty hunter Jango Fett.

Boomstick: Not fearsome enough, though. He tended to get a-head of himself... he he he... [A scene of Jango Fett getting decapitated by Mace Windu plays as Boomstick was speaking]

"*sigh* Really? Are we starting off with a bad pun?" Sunny groaned.

"Yeah, this Boomstick keeps making puns and they're pretty bad at it." Russell stated. "I hope you can tolerate bad puns cause that's probably what we're going to hear every episode."

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BACKGROUND

Age: 35 (Canon) | 76 (Legends)

Height: 6'0" | 1.83 m

Weight: 172 lbs | 78.2 kg

Rank: Mandalore

Starship: Slave 1

Homeworld: Kamino

Clone of Jango Fett

Widower to Sintas Vel

Father to Ailyn Vel

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Wiz: As his "father," Jango taught Boba all he knew about his profession, and despite being orphaned at age 1-, Boba continued to live the hunter's life, eventually donning his father's armor and claiming his rightful place as the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Boomstick: Complete with the most badass space-suit ever, his Mandalorian armor.

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MANDALORIAN BODY ARMOR

Made of mandalorian iron

Micro energy field

Penetrating radar

Resists fire, poison, acid, & cold

360 degree field of vision

Infrared scanner

Environmental filter

Can track 30+ targets at once

Retracted drinking straw [Half of them were puzzled while the other half just chuckled at the thought of a straw in his armor]

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Boomstick: It's got a micro-energy field that disperses impacts and is made up of Mandalorian iron.

Wiz: Okay, at this point, I think it's safe to assume every universe has some metal stronger than titanium.

"That is true." Sunny stated.

Wiz:Though, to this one's credit, it's actually a lot heavier, sacrificing mobility for durability. In fact, it's so durable, it resists lightsabers... you know, the swords that can cut through anything.

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WEAPONRY

EE-3 carbine rifle

Sacros K-11 blaster rifle

Concussion grenade launcher

Lightsabers

Wrist Gauntlets

-Flame projector

-Fibrecord whip

-Wrist laser

-Concussion rockets

-Stun rockets

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Boomstick: His gauntlets house a flamethrower, fibercord whip, and numerous concussion and stun missiles. But his weapon of choice is his EE-3 carbine rifle, which Fett often cradles like a child. There there, EE. Daddy's here. Killin' time's soon...

"Um...." Charlotte said in a confused tone.

Wiz: That's... creepy.

Boomstick: However, my favorite thing in Boba's bag is his badass jetpack.

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MITRINOMON Z-6 JETPACK

Hands-free

Up to one minute of flight

Max speed: 90 mph | 145 kph

Magnetic grappling hook

Anti-vehicle homing rocket

------------

Wiz: Which he uses for short-range travel, and to gain a mobility advantage over his foes. While it can only hold enough fuel for a single minute's worth of flight, its velocity reaches up to 90 miles per hour.

Boomstick: The jetpack also has a single anti-vehicle homing missile, because when you've got space for a missile, why not?

Wiz: In short, Boba Fett is a human Swiss Army knife. He's killed hundreds of criminals, politicians, and Jedi, and battled Mace Windu to a draw when he was only 12 years old.

"Such a young man, yet so deadly." Goldia stated.

Boomstick: An accomplishment so manly, it instantly kickstarted his puberty.

Wiz: But for all his skill, Fett has one great, inescapable weakness: the Sarlacc pit.

"Oh yeah, that weird thing that he fell into." Russell said.

"Oh! What is that thing?" Allen exclaimed.

Wiz: This flaw is so unavoidable, he was knocked into the pit by a blind and physically drained Han Solo while wearing a jetpack.

Boomstick: And since Disney bought Star Wars and nixed the Expanded Universe, this is where Boba Fett's story officially ends.

The Death Battle transition card closes over.

"So that's it for Boba Fett?" Allen asked in a confused tone.

"Wait, hold on. Disney bought Star Wars?" Russell asked. He's not the type of person to be up-to-date on any current events.

"You didn't know?" Madotsuki replied.

"Yep. And it would lead to the franchise's downfall." Sunny sighed.

Wiz: Well, that's stupid, so here's what happened in the Expanded Universe!

"There's more?" Russell asked.

The Death Battle transition card opens back up.

Wiz: Using a combination of his jetpack and blowing himself up, Fett actually escaped the Sarlacc. He later became leader of the Mandalorian warriors after the Galactic Civil War, and even held his own against Darth Vader... twice.

Boomstick: While using one of several lightsabers he's taken from his Jedi kills, and that's pretty goddamn impressive, but you know what's even more impressive? The time he trained Han Solo's Jedi daughter so that she could kill an evil all-powerful Sith Lord, who just so happened to be her own brother! Spoilers. Unfortunately, Fett's greatest weakness still remains that toothy sand vagina.

Wiz: He has fallen into the Sarlacc a total of three times. Three! And the Sarlacc's not exactly running around looking for snacks. It's a friggin' hole in the ground!

Boomstick: And again, he can fly! Fun fact: every year following his escape, Boba Fett returns to the planet Tattooine just to shoot the Sarlacc. In his spaceship. From orbit. He's learned his lesson; he's staying as far away from that shit as he possibly can.

"I guess that was way too embarrasing for him." Madotsuki commented.

"I mean, I would do the same too." Sunny responding to Madotsuki.

Wiz: Fear of teethy holes aside, few have survived once he's set his sights on them. Boba Fett is a whole new meaning of deadly.

------------

Darth Vader: No disintegrations.

Boba Fett: As you wish.

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End of Boba Fett's Analysis

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SAMUS ARAN

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Wiz: When she was young, Samus Aran lived with her family on Earth colony K-2L... until one fateful day it was sacked by an army of Space Pirates led by the vile Ridley, a giant purple space dragon.

Boomstick: Ridley murdered her parents right in front of her along with the rest of the planet. Literally everyone except for Samus. So PTSD therapists were in pretty short supply.

"Aww, that's awful! Why would it do such a thing?" Charlotte said in a remorseful tone.

"Why was she spared, though? They must have some past history." Allen wondered.

"Maybe she wasn't noticed? Still, that's horrible for her to witness."

Wiz: Thankfully, Samus was rescued by the Chozo, bird-like aliens who raised her to become a warrior.

------------

BACKGROUND

Age: 32

Height: 6'3" | 1.9 m

Weight: 198 lbs | 89.8 kg

Homeworld: Colony K-2L

Starship: Gunship

Cybernetically enhanced

Infused with Chozo & Metroid DNA

------------

Wiz: She was infused with Chozo DNA, increasing her strength, speed, and athletic abilities far beyond those of a normal human being.

Boomstick: So... does she like... now have a bad habit of pecking at food and shitting on peoples' cars?

Wiz: No. Everyone also said no at the same time. It's like they share the same wavelength.

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POWER SUIT

Little restriction to movement or flexibility

Variants

-Varia - Environmental protection

-Gravity - Simulates normal gravity

-Dark - Reduces Dark Aether damage

-Light - Immune to Dark Aether

-Fusion - Absorbs X Parasites

-Zero - Worn underneath Power Suit

------------

Wiz: She wears the Power Suit, typically in Varia form, shielding her entire body without restricting any movement or flexibility.

Boomstick: Too bad it makes her look like a dude.

"Ah yes. Those were the biggest plot twist that us OG Gamers has ever seen." Sunny recalled.

"Oh come on now. Surely being misgendered wouldn't be a disadvantage in battle, right?" Charlotte chuckled.

Wiz: Though underneath, she wears the skintight Zero Suit.

Boomstick: There we go! They must call it that because there's literally zero left to the imagination. While in that Zero Suit, she carries a paralyzer pistol, a gun which can... well... paralyze people. And turn into a laser whip.

Wiz: But she definitely prefers the Power Suit in most combat situations. As a modified version of Chozo battle armor developed specifically for Samus, it can also be upgraded to adapt to any environment.

------------

ARSENAL

Arm Cannon

-Power Beam

-Charge Beam

-Ice Beam

-Grapple Beam

-Missiles

Morph Ball

Diameter: 3 ft | 1 m

Power Beams

Screw Attack

Speed Booster

Paralyzer pistols

------------

Boomstick: Samus carries the powerful Arm Cannon as her primary weapon and she's found quite a few upgrades for it over the years. So the basic Power Beam is a peashooter. When you charge it up, it'll blow your face clean off. She can also set it to blast an Ice Beam, Grapple Beam, and tons of seeking and Super Missiles.

Wiz: Her Chozo training lets Samus control the skies with her speedy Screw Attack and curl into her Morph Ball form to traverse places few others can.

Boomstick: How the hell does she do that?

Wiz: Bird DNA, Boomstick. Bird DNA.

Boomstick: Yeah, because we all know how many times you scare a bird in the parking lot and then it just curls up into a ball and zooms away!

Russell facepalms "Boomstick, please."

Wiz: ALIEN bird DNA.

Boomstick: Well then eff that planet and its birds. But I do like their Power Bombs, which Samus carries and can be used to destroy anything in the general vicinity in seconds.

Wiz: Samus is known as a bounty hunter capable of taking on impossible missions, fighting massive beasts, and even wiping out an entire species.

Boomstick: All but one. Talk about having the rarest pet in the universe, and it makes a cute hat.

"Um Boomstick, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be safe at all." Madotsuki stated.

Wiz: However, she often makes mistakes. Somehow, she always seems to lose all her power-ups and upgrades at the beginning of every mission.

"Gameplay mechanics, am I right?" Sunny said in a joking manner.

Boomstick: How has she not gotten a purse yet?

Wiz: Well even when she does have all her arsenal at her disposal, it doesn't guarantee its use. For example, she once entered a volcano and did not activate her thermal systems until halfway through the mission. All because she was waiting for permission.

"Oh my. I guess "rule breaker" would be the opposite description to describe her." Goldia commented.

Boomstick: Ugh, can we please not talk about that game?

'We do not talk about Other M." Madotsuki said without a single emotion.

Russell was confused. "Huh, is it that b-"

"We don't talk about Other M." Madotsuki cuts off Russell. He was a bit surprised, but just shrugs it off.

Wiz: But don't worry. Samus has proven time and time again to be one of the deadliest hunters in the galaxy. Outlaws everywhere fear the name of Samus Aran.

------------

Samus: Time to go!

Samus' visor shines, covering her face, and she prepares her Arm Cannon, which fires a charge shot at the screen.

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!

------------

Before the battle begins, a wall of text appears.

Russell paused the video. "Alright everyone, who will you be rooting for?"

"It has to be Samus Aran. As much of a skilled bounty hunter Boba Fett can be, Samus Aran has weapons that could overpower anything Boba Fett has to offer." Sunny stated. Madotsuki would nod to Sunny's statement, implying that she agrees and also chooses Samus.

"Same here." Allen taking Samus' side.

"Well, as much as I liked to be on the same side as you. Boba Fett has faced off against deadly foes that aren't meant to laughed at. Wouldn't you agree Charlotte?" Goldia stated while also looking at Charlotte at the last second.

"Well....... sure I guess?" Charlotte wasn't really sure, but she just goes with it.

"I choose Samus." Russell then answers his own question. "Alright, 4 votes for Samus, 2 votes for Fett. Now let's continue".

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BATTLE

------------

Samus Aran's gunship is flying in the middle of space. Samus sits in the cockpit, looking over a green virtual screen. From behind comes the Slave I, where Boba Fett is seen looking over a virtual screen of his own. Suddenly, Samus hears an alarm going off in her ship, but is too late to act, for Slave I has fired multiple blasts at Samus' ship, which is disabled and is sent falling towards an unknown planet in a futuristic city.

[Planet Name: Unknown]

[Location: Unknown]

[Life Forms: Unknown]

Samus' ship crashes through a small tower, then crash lands onto a rooftop, grinding across before flipping over and falling off. The entire vehicle explodes, but Samus jumps out just in time, landing on the rooftop while leaving a small crater. She gets up and turns behind her at the fiery wreckage of her ship. Boba, who had parked the Slave I, hovers downward with his jetpack with his EE-3 carbine rifle in his hands and lands. He walks slowly towards Samus while she prepares her Arm Cannon.

FIGHT!

Samus charges her Arm Cannon, then fires a shot and follows up with two more. Boba steps to the side to avoid them, then fires back. Samus rolls out of the way and fires a large beam from her arm cannon, but Boba flies up into the air with his jetpack to avoid it. Suspending himself in midair, he continues firing downward at Samus, who runs toward him while avoiding his fire. In response, he launches his anti-vehicle homing rocket from his jetpack at her. As it is about to hit, Samus vaults over a part of the building, narrowly dodging the rocket as it explodes, destroying the very object she used.

Samus leaps into the air towards Boba and strikes him with her left arm, then flips over and kicks him downward towards the rooftop below them. Boba quickly gets back onto his feet as Samus herself lands. She fires another beam at Boba, who jumps and flips over to avoid it before firing a missile at her. Samus rolls to avoid it, then goes into her Morph Ball form. He continues to fire more missiles at Samus, but her Morph Ball mode proves too nimble to be hit. Once Samus reaches Boba, she exits Morph Ball mode and flip-kicks him twice, the second of which Fett appears to have blocked. Despite this, her next kick knocks Boba into the air, sending him rolling across the rooftop that Slave I is on while dropping his rifle. However, Boba lets go of a grenade pin upon stopping his movement and Samus soon sees a thermal detonator at her feet about to detonate. It explodes, causing a massive explosion.

"Aw man, is it over already?" Madotsuki exclaimed.

However, the explosion did not defeat his opponent; it seriously damaged her armor, revealing her Zero Suit, to which Boba realizes that Samus is a woman. After all of her armor pieces, save for her boots, have broken off from her, Samus leaps upward with her boots, whose jets allow her to hover and land on the rooftop Boba is on. She then takes out her paralyzer pistol, to which Boba responds by taking out and activating a lightsaber, then twirling it.

"Oh yes! Some lightsaber action." Sunny said in a exciting tone. Letting his fanboy side out.

Samus fires her paralyzer pistol at him, but Fett manages to deflect them efficiently as he runs toward her. Samus decides to fly towards him using her boots, preparing to kick just as Fett swings his lightsaber. The two clash and the impact knocks both back. Samus quickly transforms her paralyzer pistol into her laser whip, though it looks awfully like a lightsaber.

"Woah, is she also a Jedi?" Allen asked.

"A gun that can turn into a lightsaber?" Sunny commented. "Imagine if Darth Vader had something like that."

The two clash with their sabers with neither seeming to have the edge, so Boba prepares his wrist-mounted flamethrower. He fires large waves of fire at Samus, who leaps over, rolls, and jumps to avoid them.

"Woah, look at how she maneuvers!" Russell commented.

"Bird DNA, Russell. Alien bird DNA." Madotsuki replies, referencing Wiz's statement.

Boba continues firing it as Samus wall jumps off of the Slave I. In mid-air, she changes her laser whip back into the paralyzer pistol and fires it at Boba's wrist, disabling his wrist-mounted flame thrower. Upon landing, she transforms the pistol back into a beam sword and the two clash with their blades once again until Samus leaps over a swing and kicks Boba. She gets into a crouched position, charges her paralyzer pistol, and fires the Ice Beam at Boba, causing him to become completely frozen in place.

"Oh no! Is it over for Boba Fett?" Charlotte exclaimed.

She charges her paralyzer pistol, then fires it at Fett's head, causing it to explode, which is shown at three different angles. Afterward, Samus gets up and turns away.

KO!

Samus walks away as Boba's headless body completely shatters into pieces along with the ice encasing it.

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BATTLE OVER

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The Samus Aran voters were filled with excitement and reliefed in their victory. While the Boba Fett voters were saddened but accepts their defeat.

"Aw man!" Charlotte would exclaim in a saddened tone. "Well, guess you can't always be in the winning side."

"Huh, I actually got it right!" Sunny exclaimed.

"High five!" Madotsuki would yell to Sunny. They then did a high five.

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RESULTS

------------

Wiz: Fett put up a fight to the best of his abilities, but Samus' superior technology and athletic skills trumped him in every way.

Boomstick: While Fett may be more durable and physically stronger, Samus has dealt with foes like that all her life.

Wiz: Boba Fett really didn't have the means necessary to catch Samus, let alone perfectly counter Samus' Power Bomb, Screw Attack, and Ice Beam.

Boomstick: Sure, Boba's killed plenty of Jedi and survived a run-in with Vader, but his greatest victories usually stemmed from his cunning. He's a master of playing his enemies into his hands.

Wiz: But when it comes to Samus, Fett had little to work with. Samus specifically modeled her bounty hunter career around anonymity. She's even commonly mistaken as a man by the very people who want to hire her, making it extremely difficult for Boba Fett to get a read on her.

Boomstick: Fett just couldn't keep his head in the game.

"Oh, Boomstick." Allen sighed.

We cut to the "Winner" card.

Wiz: The winner is Samus Aran.

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Next time on DEATH BATTLE.......

Multiple punches can be heard then a familiar firey Japanese sign appears.

"Wait, Akuma?!" Sunny would noticed. He's a fan of fighting games if you didn't know.

Suddenly, a voice can be heard.

???: Your soul is mine.....

"Hold on, that voice. That's....."

Akuma VS Shang Tsung (Street Fighter VS Mortal Kombat)

"Oh, damn. It's Street Fighter VS Mortal Kombat!" Russell being also a fighting game fan, he is quite interested in the matchup.

"Oh, that's neat!" Madotsuki stated. "Shall we watch another one?"

And the next episode starts.......

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Street Fighter. Mortal Kombat. Kings of the fighting genre. And every good fighter needs awesome villians.

Boomstick: Like Akuma, the ultimate badass of martial arts.

Wiz: And Shang Tsung, the sorcerous vanguard of doom.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find who would win... a Death Battle.

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AKUMA

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Wiz: Akuma, master of The Fist. Known as Gouki in Japan, he is a living weapon, ten times stronger than nearly every other street fighter.

Boomstick: Plus, he looks friggin' awesome, I totally want me some red, glowing eyes.

"Well, Madotsuki has red eyes. Not glowing though." Russell stated.

"And pretty too." Sunny added.

Madotsuki would blush from the comment. "Uh...... thanks?"

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GOU HADOKEN

Total Control

Can Fire Multiple at Once

Shinko-Hadoken

Can be Charged

Usable in Midair (Zanku Hadoken)

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Wiz: Akuma has dozens of powerful special attacks, including the Gohadoken, a powerful blast with precision control. He can even use the almighty Shinku Hadoken, which is, basically, a giant fireball of death.

Boomstick: Man, if I ever fire a Hadoken in real life, I'mma die happy.

"i think any fighting game fans would be happy to throw at least one Hadoken." Sunny said, smiling at the thought.

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SPECIAL MOVES AND ATTACKS

Gou Shoryuken "Dragon Fist"

"Air Slashing" Hurricane Kick

Teleport

Hyakki Shuu "Demon Flip"

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Wiz: Akuma also uses the Shoryuken uppercut, a teleport ability, a swift multi-striking hurricane kick, and the Hyakkishu, A.K.A the Demon Flip.

Boomstick: Also, Akuma's got tons of different Super Arts, but two really stand out.

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SUPER ARTS

Shinku-Hadoken

Kongo Kokuretsu Zan

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Boomstick: First there's the Kongo...Kokuretsuza... how do you say that?

"Oh come on" Sunny sighed "Even Russell could say that."

"Well yeah, I- hold on, what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing!"

Wiz: No idea.

Boomstick: Well, I'm pretty sure that's Japanese for "Fuck You Up!" 'Cause basically, Akuma punches the ground and things explode.

[Akuma can be seen using the move on his opponent, resulting in his own victory]

Boomstick: He shattered a whole friggin' island just by punching it. Holy shit!

The mention of the feat caused some of the audience gasp for it's destructive power.

Wiz: But that's not the deadliest move up his nonexistent sleeve.

Sunny perked up at the statement. "Is it what I think it is?"

Akuma uses his deadliest & iconic move, "The Shun Goku Satsu", against Dan Hibiki and his health depletes afterwards. Akuma would then do his iconic pose and then his Japanese sign appears

Wiz: The Shun Goku Satsu, also known as the Raging Demon, literally means "Instant Hell Murder."

"Well, that name seems way over-the-top, don't you think?" Charlotte stated.

Boomstick: Man, I'm going to totally name my first kid that.

"Why would you name a child something so malicious?!" Goldia exclaimed.

"Well, you could always use the Japanese translation." Russell responded.

"How does that make it better?"

Boomstick: The Raging Demon at full power is fatal, this guy's a frickin' onslaught of pain!

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. Akuma lives for one thing, and one thing only: fighting. He travels the world day and night searching for worthy opponents. He's an unstoppable human Holocaust, losing only once to his brother Gouken, but after a brutal rematch...

[Gouken can be seen in his lifeless body, sitting on a wall while the iconic Japanese sign was painted right on top of him]

Charlotte widens her eyes at the sight. "Oh dear! How could he do that to his own brother?!"

Boomstick: Oh hey, look. He can finger paint!

Russell groans. "Too much, Boomstick. Too much."

Wiz: So Gouken didn't exactly agree with his harsh nature and his thirst for battle and the fighting style he was taught was a bit too violent for his liking. So, he left his training course, leaving Akuma behind, to create a fighting style that's similar to Akuma's except it's more less violent for pacifist like him.

Boomstick: So basically, Akuma definitely didn't like that.

"It didn't have to end like this, though." Madotsuki said in a saddened tone.

Wiz: Now back to Akuma. It was rumored that Akuma sacrificed his soul to a demon in exchange for the strength to defeat Gouken, but this has been declared non-canon.

Boomstick: Akuma's got one major problem, though. His stamina is absolutely pathetic. He can dish out the pain, but he sure can't take it.

Wiz: It's crucial for Akuma to have total control over the fight. He takes an extremely offensive approach, always moving, always attacking.

Boomstick: Yeah, screw defense! Give me more ways to hurt people!

[Akuma: I am Akuma, and I will teach you the meaning of pain!]

"Definitely not someone looking to make friends." Allen commented.

------------

End of Akuma's Analysis

------------

SHANG TSUNG

------------

Wiz: Shang Tsung is the cunning sorcerer from Outworld, and scheming pawn of Shao Kahn. He's extremely adapt in magic and a well-rounded fighter.

------------

FLAMING SKULLS

Can Attack in Rounds of One, Two, or Three

Fire Damage

Swift And Deadly

------------

Boomstick: This guy can shoot Flaming Skulls, which is totally awesome, but where the heck does he keep them? I mean seriously, how many skulls can a person carry around with them?

"I mean he's filled with magic. So I guess he just pulls them from nowhere?" Russell responding to Boomstick in a confused tone.

------------

HOT ESCAPE

Teleport Ability

Extremely Fast

Wide Range

Burns Victims when Appearing Close Enough

------------

Wiz: Tsung can teleport around the battlefield with the special move called "Hot Escape."

Boomstick: Wah! Sucker punch, bitch!

------------

MORPHING

Can Change into Anyone he Knows

Copies Abilities and Stats of Subject

Enables Hundreds of New Strategies

------------

Wiz: He can morph into whomever he wants, giving him tons of different skill sets. It's like fighting a hundred different foes combined into one.

Boomstick: Man, I wish I could morph into anybody I wanted. I could have some fun with that! He also has a razor-sharp Straight Sword, though he usually keeps it hidden for a surprise attack.

Wiz: Shang Tsung possesses one other strange but useful ability. Long ago, when he was caught cheating in the Mortal Kombat Tournament, he was cursed by the Elder Gods to rapidly age until an untimely death. The only way to prevent this fate would be to absorb the souls of his victims.

"Man, not only does he play dirty, but a sadistic too." Allen commented.

------------

SOUL STEAL

Sustains Youth

Restores Energy and Health

Gains Opponent's Memories and Skills (A few were intrigued on this ability)

Uses Skills For Morphs

------------

Boomstick: He can literally eat your soul. Your soul! Not only can this heal him, but he gets the memories of the souls he devoured.

Wiz: This helps him copy the moves of other fighters when he morphs.

"So Akuma's gonna need some distance to ensure a victory." Madotsuki noted.

Boomstick: So really, his curse became his deadliest weapon. Good punishment there, gods.

Wiz: Shang Tsung has lived and fought for over a thousand years. His sorcery, powers, and brutal Fatalities are rivaled by few, and he's claimed the title of grand champion of Mortal Kombat several times, almost bringing about the winning streak necessary to allow Shao Kahn to invade Earthrealm, key word being "almost."

Boomstick: Yeah, unfortunately for Shang Tsung, he pretty much sucks at actually accomplishing his goals. He's super powerful, but like most villains, he can never get around some goody-two-shoes getting in the way of global takeover.

Wiz: His only notable victories have included treachery and deceit, but keep in mind, Tsung's not fighting any ordinary meat-heads. He's fighting demons, sorcerers, and gods, and even in defeat, he somehow keeps coming back, more lethal than ever.

[Shang Tsung: You... will... DIE!]

"As if he doesn't sound more villainy than he already is." Sunny said letting out a small chuckle.

------------

End of Shang Tsung's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!

------------

"Alright everyone you know the drill."

Allen raises his hand. "Okay, I don't really like choosing the bad guys, but sure. i'm gonna pick Shang Tsung because, yeah Akuma's strong and skilled, but I don't think he can get around Shang's abilities."

Charlotte would take Allen's side. "I can't choose either but Allen's got a good point."

"Okay, you guys pick Tsung, me and Sunny will pick Akuma cause he's just that crazy." Madotsuki stated.

"Um, sure why not?" Sunny taking Akuma's side (with Madotsuki yet again).

"I'll vote for Akuma also." Goldia votes for Akuma!

"Alright, 4 to 2, again. I vote for Akuma. Now, time for a fighting game clash!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Akuma walks into frame when Shang Tsung suddenly appears behind him using his Hot Escape technique. Akuma jumps away to the other side of the battlefield, and prepares to fight.

FIGHT!

Tsung shoots a Flaming Skull, which Akuma dodges by jumping over. He shoots two Gohadokens in the air, and Tsung blocks them. Akuma attacks Tsung's feet and knocks him even more off balance by hitting him with a Tatsumaki hurricane kick before knocking him in the air with a Goshoryuken uppercut. While in the air, Akuma hits him a few times and finishes the combo with a Shinku Hadoken. Tsung falls to the ground and Akuma tries to finish him off, but Tsung transforms into Scorpion.

"Oh it's Scorpion!" Russell exclaimed. "But I don't think Scorpion can match Akuma's level of strength."

"Scorpion": COME HERE!

Shang Tsung throws a kunai spear at Akuma, which pierces his chest, and drags Akuma over towards him. He uppercuts Akuma, cueing the "Toasty Guy," Dan Forden, to appear in the right corner of the screen.

Dan Forden: TOASTY!

"TOASTY!" Sunny would yell. Everyone was caught off guard and starts staring at Sunny.

"Sorry! I always loved saying that."

Shang Tsung then keeps him in the air by hitting him with Flaming Skulls that burst out of the ground. Akuma falls behind him and throws him to the left. He then teleports behind him and kicks him, which Tsung blocks. He fires a Gohadoken, but Tsung uses Hot Escape to get away before reappearing and slashing Akuma with his sword. He then grabs Akuma and tries to steal his soul, which heals some of his health and drains some of Akuma's.

"Uh oh! It seems Shang Tsung is stealing Akuma's capabilities." Allen stated.

Akuma breaks out of it by hitting him with a Tatsumaki. Tsung runs toward him, but Akuma catches him off guard using the Kongo Kokuretsuzan, which knocks him in the air. He then teleports towards him and hits him a few times before throwing him. Tsung then lands on his feet and transforms into Akuma.

"Oh! Tsung has transformed into Akuma!" Madotsuki exclaimed. "But can Akuma beat...... himself?"

The two prepare for battle.

The two Akumas then jump in the air and they attack, blocking each others' moves. One of the Akumas knocks the other into the ground and tries to finish him off using the Kongou Kokoretsuzan. However, the other Akuma grabs him and finishes him off with a Shun Goku Satsu.

The screen fades black, multiple punches can be heard, then the screen fades in, revealing Akuma(?) doing his iconic stance with the kanji appearing on the screen, confirming the kill.

"It's over!" Sunny stated. "But, who won?"

The other Akuma laying on the ground, lifeless, revealed to be Shang Tsung, who would later reverted to his original self, releasing souls that he has held captive.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

The Akuma voters were cheering in victory. While the Shang Tsung voters just accepted their defeat, saddened but accepting.

"Yep, I called it." Russell said in a monotone voice. "You were right Mado, Akuma's just too crazy."

Madotsuki winks and gives a thumbs up.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Oh man, that was way too close!

Wiz: No kiddin', Boomstick! Akuma's raw power and speed pressed a distinct advantage early on, but Tsung's own cleverness and wide array of skills quickly even the odds.

Boomstick: It looked like Akuma had the whole thing wrapped up, but Tsung's morphing trick saved his ass.

Wiz: Akuma's pride for battle almost cost his life, as he stopped to see if his new face was worth a challenge.

Boomstick: After switching up strategies, Tsung managed to steal enough of Akuma's soul for some extra health and new abilities.

Wiz: But it wasn't enough. In the end, Akuma's skills as a fighter proved unmatched.

Boomstick: I mean, Tsung loses to Liu Kang all the time, and compared to Akuma, Liu Kang's the nicest guy in the world. There was no way he could take Akuma's constant punishment.

Wiz: As Shang Tsung isn't used to winning anything on his own, he wasn't perfect in delivering the final blow, leaving him wide open for the experienced Akuma to release his greatest weapon.

Boomstick: The Raging Demon of Instant-Hell-Murder-Awesomeness!

Wiz: And so Shang Tsung fell once again, releasing his devoured souls. Again.

Boomstick: Looks like Tsung's all souled out! Ha-hah! Get it, Wiz?

Everyone just sighs at the unfunny pun.

We cut to the "Akuma" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Akuma.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

As cinematic music plays, the camera pans to different angles of the next combatant's familiar clothing, bracelets, and a lasso.

Sunny immediately recognizes the combatant, given that he's a comic book fanatic. "Wonder Woman?!"

The camera then finally reveals the combatant's face, to confirm Sunny's suspicion that it is, infact Wonder Woman.

Then, a feminine voice can be heard.

???: Good night, sugar.....

"Is that the girl from the X-Men?" Sunny asked.

Rogue VS Wonder Woman (Marvel VS DC)

"Rogue! That's the name!" Sunny exclaimed. "Marvel VS DC? This should be interesting."

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Superheroines. Millions have been drawn to these modern myths of comic book lore.

Boomstick: Or you could, uh, just be drawn to the way they're drawn.

Wiz: Like Anna Marie, the Rogue.

Boomstick: And Diana Prince, the Wonder Woman.

Wiz: He's Boomstick and I'm Wizard.

Boomstick: And we're here to watch two chicks duke it out! CATFIGHT!

"Ah, so Boomstick's that kinda guy, huh?" Sunny sighed.

Madotsuki sighs. "Hope he doesn't go "all out", if you know what I mean."

Wiz: It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills-

Boomstick: And maybe a few other things.

"Boomstick. No." Madotsuki & Sunny exclaimed.

Wiz: -to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

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ROGUE

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Wiz: Rogue has possessed a variety of different powers over the years. For this duel in particular, we will use the most well-known version: the original iteration from the comics and television show.

Boomstick: You mean the show with one of the greatest theme songs ever?

[The iconic theme song and intro of the X-Men cartoon starts playing]

As the group listens to the theme song, Sunny can be heard singing.

"Sorry! I just like that theme song so much."

"Don't worry, it's completely normal." Charlotte replied. "It is a good intro indeed."

------------

POWER ABSORPTION

Activated Through Contact

Absorbs Memories, Talents, Personalities, and Abilities. "Didn't we have someone with the same ability?" Goldia asked. Referring to the sorcerer last battle.

Temporary Transfer

Can Use Copied Abilities

Can Be Lethal Through Prolonged Contact

------------

Wiz: Her deadliest weapon is her own skin. With just a touch, she absorbs a person's memories, talents, personalities, and abilities, whether superhuman or not, to use them herself.

Boomstick: Too bad it knocks them out cold. And if she holds on long enough, it's game over.

Wiz: Tenacious foes like Juggernaut can resist it, but in the end, nobody is safe from Rogue's parasitic touch. For every second of contact, Rogue can keep these powers for a full minute. Though sometimes, there's unforeseen side effects.

Boomstick: She held on to Ms. Marvel for so long she absorbed her powers permanently.

------------

MS. MARVEL POWERS

Super Strength

Flight at Subsonic Speed

Near-Invulnerability

Enhanced Reflexes

Telephatic Resistance

Seventh Sense

------------

Boomstick: Now, she's got super strength, speed, and near invulnerability. Not that I blame her, though. I'd be holdin' on to Ms. Marvel for as long as I could!

"Boomstick, stop." Madotsuki & Sunny commanded.

Boomstick: Plus, then when she's unconscious I could—

"BOOMSTICK!"

Meanwhile, Allen is just sitting confused on what Boomstick means by that and why Mado & Sunny gotten a bit angry.

Wiz: She also gained a seventh sense, the ability to unconsciously predict her opponents' moves.

Boomstick: But her seventh sense doesn't seem to always work. That or the writers just forgot about it 'cause, uh, Rogue gets her ass kicked a lot.

Wiz: For plot convenience.

"The winner of the fight is who the writer wants to win. To quote the legend." Sunny quoted.

Boomstick: And damn, she's got a hot ass.

Wiz: What?

"Boomstick, be quiet." Sunny said in a monotone voice.

Boomstick: Hey, that counts as a superpower in my book, Wiz! But while she's not invincible, she doesn't have any real weaknesses either. She's a classy southern belle, who I'd like to take out to dinner.

Wiz: Who can fly, lift buildings, and kill people just by touching them.

Boomstick: Never mind.

"Well, that's quite the ability." Goldia stated.

[A man falls only to be catched to Rogue.

Rogue: Come to mama!

Man: Put me down you flying freak.

Rogue: Whatever you say, sugar.

Rogue drops the man off to a grassfield then the man lets out a small grunt.]

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End of Rogue's Analysis

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WONDER WOMAN

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Wiz: To the uneducated nerd, Wonder Woman may seem a cheap clone of Superman.

Boomstick: With super-boobies!

"Alright, Boomstick." Sunny sighed. "Guess it's not worth stopping you."

"I mean, you're talking to a screen." Russell responded. "You know that, right?"

"Uh. Yeah, I know that." Sunny said in an embarrassed tone.

Wiz: But in reality, she's a whole different story. Created from earth, born by gods, trained by ancient warriors—

Boomstick: Maker of Wonder Bread! Designer of the Wonderbra!

"The what?" Charlotte said in confusion.

Wiz: Boomstick, that's not true!

Boomstick: See, I can do it too, Wiz!

Wiz: Wonder Woman is the incredibly powerful and near-invincible ambassador of Themyscira, and self-appointed protector of the Earth.

Boomstick: And she dresses like a stripper. A patriotic stripper!

"I mean, you're not wrong, Boomstick." Sunny said, not expecting to agree with the redneck.

"The hell's a stripper?" Russell asked. Catching Sunny off guard.

"UH. Please don't ask that."

------------

MASTER COMBATANT

Trained Since Childhood

Skilled at Armed and Unarmed Combat

Prefers Fists Over Blades

The Best of The Amazons

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Wiz: Diana Prince has been trained by the Amazons as a master combatant since childhood. She dueled the best of the best for the right to be crowned Wonder Woman. Her unearthly powers are divine, granted by ancient Greek gods and goddesses.

------------

POWERS FROM DEMETER

Superhuman Strength

Superhuman Durability (Resists All but Blades and Bullets) "But why only blades and bullets?" Madotsuki asked.

Magic Resistance

Enhanced Healing Factor

------------

From Demeter, she received superhuman strength and durability.

Boomstick: And you know that bitch mailman god with the wingy shoes?

Wiz & Allen: Hermes?

"Oh! So you know Greek Mythology?" Madotsuki asked.

"Yep!"

------------

POWERS FROM HERMES

Flight up to Mach-5 Speed

Superhuman Reflexes (Faster than Superman)

Superhuman Speed (Up to Hyper-Sonic)

------------

Boomstick: Whatever. He gave Wonder Woman the ability to fly and move at hypersonic speed.

------------

OTHER POWERS

Enhanced Sight, Smell, Hearing, Touch, Taste

Multi-Lingual

Increased Wisdom

Superior Empathy

Animal Rapport

Other Useless Stuff

------------

Wiz: She was given numerous other powers from enhanced senses, animal rapport, and blessings of wisdom and empathy.

Boomstick: Aside from the obvious cannons rested right below her neck, she's got a pretty bizarre mix of weaponry.

------------

LASSO OF TRUTH

Forged by Hephaestus

Unbreakable

Infinitely Elastic

Forces Prisoners to Tell the Truth

------------

Boomstick: Her Lasso of Truth is a piece of unbreakable string that, well, makes you tell the truth.

[Hippolyta: What other depraved thoughts must you be thinking?

Steve Trevor: God, your daughter's got a nice rack.]

Boomstick: Hell yeah, she does!

-------------

BOOMERANG TIARA "A tiara that is also a boomerang?" Madotsuki commented.

Returns After Each Use

Razor-Sharp Edge

Can Cut Through Most Substances

------------

Wiz: She uses her tiara as a long-range throwing weapon, using its razor-sharp edge to slice open her enemies' throat.

------------

BRACELETS OF SUBMISSION

Indestructible

Formed from the Aegis of Zeus

Blocks Bladdes, Bullets, Beams, and Other Attacks

Can Discharge Lightning

------------

Boomstick: Wonder Babe here uses the Bracelets of Submission, indestructible steel gauntlets forged from the remains of Zeus' legendary Aegis. These babies can block all sorts of attacks.

Wiz: She has persevered throughout the years, fighting a huge variety of foes, even killing the Greek God of War, Ares.

Boomstick: Hear that, Kratos? A chick beat you to it!

"Huh, they mention Kratos." Sunny noted. "Wonder if he appeared in this show?"

[Wonder Woman bashes the edge of her shield down to Mad Harriet.

Wonder Woman: Let's see you smile now!]

------------

End of Wonder Woman's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a CAT FIGHT DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!

Sunny facepalms.

------------

"Wonder Woman." Sunny stated. "She is way too strong, fast, and skilled for Rogue to outmatch her."

"I agree Sunny but Rogue's abilities does make a difference." Madotsuki stated. Taking a side that isn't Sunny's for the first time.

"I agree with Sunny." Russell votes for Wonder Woman!

"Well, I have to take Rogue's side." Charlotte said in a saddened tone. "Sorry!"

"Me too, Charlotte." Allen votes for Rogue.

"Aww, guess I'll go with Diana." Goldia votes for Wonder Woman!

"Oh wow, 3 times in a row. 4 to 2." Russell noted.

"Right, let's continue."

------------

BATTLE

------------

Rogue is shown flying in the sky. The Invisible Plane descends in background and Wonder Woman flies out. She kicks Rogue in the face, and both superheroines fly down to the ground.

"Well, that was quite rude." Madotsuki said.

FIGHT!

Wonder Woman throws her tiara at Rogue, runs behind her, and roundhouse kicks her. The kick sends Rogue flying, Wonder Woman then flies after her, kicking her multiple times before dashing behind her again and punching her. She grabs a dazed Rogue with the Lasso of Truth and slams her on the ground numerous times, drags Rogue near her, and uppercuts her in the air. She darts around the airborne Rogue with a flurry of punches.

When she punches Rogue in the face, however, Rogue absorbs some of Wonder Woman's powers, and she absorbs more of her powers when she takes off her glove and touches her leg.

"Yep! There's the absorption ability!" Charlotte stated.

While Wonder Woman breaks free, Rogue strikes her from behind, elbows her in the neck, and sends her soaring with a quick kick combo. Wonder Woman throws out her Lasso of Truth again, but Rogue grabs it, tugs it, and slams her on the ground. Rogue flies behind her again and launches her tiara again, but Rogue blocks it, -propelling it back on her head- kicks her in the air and uppercuts her. Wonder Woman stops Rogue with several punches, but her finishing kick is blocked and she is knocked in the air.

Rogue flies after her in the air, and is responded by a commotion of punches, Rogue blocks one of them and delivers some of her own, which is later blocked by Wonder Woman. She is then knocked down to the ground by a dive kick delivered by Wonder Woman. Both combatants fly down to the ground. Wonder Woman dashes towards her with a flying kick, but it is interrupted by Rogue, who grabs her.

Rogue: Good night, sugar!

Rogue proceeds to plant a kiss of death upon Wonder Woman's lips and drains her life force, causing her skin to become pale and killing her.

"Uh...... what just happened?" Madotsuki asked in a confused tone.

"I guess she absorbed her life force?" Russell responded.

"Well that was one way to end your opponent." Sunny commented.

"Death by kissing?" Charlotte said in a confused state.

"A girl kissing girl...... and she lost her life from that." Allen commented.

KO!

Rogue then strikes a pose.

------------

First time the Minority wins! The Rogue voters were in awe while the Wonder Woman voters were surprised.

"Oh man!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"Huh, so we're wrong about that." Russell stated. Accepting his first defeat.

Sunny was a bit confused. "I don't necessarily agree with that. But hey, what do I know?"

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Woo-hoo-hoo! This goes down in history as the best Death Battle ever!

"Too early for that but it was pretty cool." Madotsuki stated.

Wiz: Poor Wonder Woman was more than a match for Rogue, but then she touched Rogue's face.

Boomstick: Wonder Woman is a trained fighter, so naturally she would strike her opponent's weakest spots, like the neck, stomach, joints and, well, the face.

Wiz: In the end, her failure was a result of her thorough Amazonian training.

Boomstick: And her stripper outfit! Her leg was just begging to be grabbed there. Though personally, uh, I might have grabbed elsewhere.

"TMI, Boomstick. TMI." Madotsuki groaned.

Wiz: Wonder Woman's powers may be godly, but Rogue's taken similar powers before, so there's no reason to say she couldn't here. Adding Wonder Woman's strength and speed to Rogue's own power gave her a huge advantage, drastically turning the tide.

Boomstick: A few high flying combos and our favorite X-Girl had Wonder Woman on the ropes.

Wiz: And with her combined reflexes, speed, and seventh sense, she outmaneuvered Wonder Woman with one fatal kiss.

Boomstick: Rogue sure made out in this fight!

"That's..... not bad." Allen commenting on the pun.

We cut to the "Rogue" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Rogue.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

The videos shows a stage from a Mario game. A Goomba and a Koopa appears.

"Oh! Mario is the next fighter?" Madotsuki said in excitement. "I wonder who he's figh-"

FIGHT!

"Wait wha-"

Goomba VS Koopa (Super Mario Bros)

Madotsuki, Sunny, and Russell were left speechless.

"Really?" Sunny said. "Those guys?"

"I mean, it's an interesting matchup, I'll tell you that." Russell commented.

"Oh, the enemies from Mario!" Charlotte stated. "This might be fun."

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Wiz: The Mushroom Kingdom is a world that houses many strange and interesting creatures, like the Goomba, a walking brown mushroom with fangs.

Boomstick: And the Koopa, that stupid turtle who always gets himself killed.

Wiz: Every video game has its share of basic endless common enemies, and you can't get any more common than these two.

Boomstick: But which is the best of the worst? He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

"So, we're actually doing this." Russell said in a deadpan voice.

"Oh come on, Russell. Surely the fight will be entertaining, right?" Charlotte replied to Russell.

Sunny sighs. "Still, this is a strange idea."

Sunny felt a hand on his shoulder. The hands belongs to Madotsuki. "Sunny, let's just enjoy this episode, okay?"

------------

GOOMBA

------------

Wiz: The Goombas used to be steadfast allies of the Mushroom Kingdom. After years of oppression due to their low intelligence and short stature, they betrayed their own mushroom brethren and became the backbone of Bowser's vast army.

"Had no idea these guys had a backstory." Sunny said.

------------

BASIC COMBAT STRATEGIES

Charges into Opponents

Not Very Strong

Can "Headbonk" as well

Adapts Well to Various Environments

------------

Boomstick: The Goomba's main combat strategy is just to walk directly into its opponents. While this isn't the smartest thing to do, it takes some real "spores", if you know what I'm saying. Plus, they also have these vampire fangs, but they don't ever seem to use them, and... thinking about it, why does a mushroom even have a mouth?

"Okay, these are actually mushrooms?" Allen said in confusion.

------------

GOOMBA'S SHOE

Gives Jumping Ability

Cannot Be Pierced by Spikes or Spines

Also Called "Kuribo's Shoe" "Who's Kuribo?" Allen asked.

Can Be Stolen Easily

------------

Wiz: When available, the Goomba will use the green Goomba's Shoe to get the jump on its foes, easily able to hop over 12 feet in the air.

------------

PARAGOOMBA WINGS

Enables Slow Flight

Better Suited for Hovering

Easily Clipped

Can Dropped Micro-Goombas as Living Bombs

------------

Wiz: Goombas can also sprout wings, becoming Paragoombas, capable of barely sustained flight.

Boomstick: And when flying, the mushroom thing can bomb victims below with Micro-Goombas. You know you're a badass when you throw babies as weapons!

"Well that's..... something." Russell commented.

Wiz: The traditional Goomba may seem a useless pawn, but these troopers have been known to accomplish the impossible.

[Footage of a game of baseball shows a Goomba holding a baseball bat.....?]

"Um, how is it even holding that?" Madotsuki asked in confusion.

Boomstick: Wait a minute, is that Goomba playing baseball? With no hands? Oh my God, it has telepathy powers!

Wiz: Telekinesis? No, it doesn't.

Boomstick: Well then, how's it holding it?!

Wiz: Goombas are unwaveringly brave, never backing down from a fight and always ferociously charging into battle without hesitation. Though, sometimes their stubborn courage can backfire.

Boomstick: Yeah, you'd think it would stop walking when impending death is directly in front of it.

"So they're idiots basically. What you expect from a little creature like him?" Russell concluded.

Every Goomba reading this has been offended......

Wiz: After dissecting a... voluntary Goomba myself, I discovered its brain to be less than half the size of an acorn, proving what we've always known.

"Like Russell said, it's a small creature." Madotsuki recalls Russell's conclusion.

Boomstick: Goombas are fuckin' morons.

------------

End of Goomba's Analysis

------------

KOOPA

------------

Wiz: Bowser's second most common foot soldier is the Koopa Troopa, the turtle warrior.

Boomstick: Like Ninja Turtles!?

Wiz: No, not Ninja Turtles.

Boomstick: Aww...

"There were Ninja Turtles." Sunny recalling the RPG game.

Wiz: While the Goombas are the backbone, the Koopas are prevalent enough to have Bowser's army named the "Koopa Troop".

------------

PARATROOPA WINGS

Enables Slow Flight

Decent Aerial Control

Easily Clipped

Not Exactly The Best Flyers "Turtles are more land animals than air, right?" Goldia noted.

------------

Boomstick: Koopas have their own set of Paratroopa wings that can fly for several minutes with no problem.

------------

OTHER SKILLS

Various Sports

Running Banks

Creating Seaside Resorts

Go-Kart Racing

Ruining Safaris

Forming Lame Gangs "Those guys! I remember them." Sunny recalls.

------------

Wiz: Koopas are also fairly skilled in tennis, baseball, basketball, and go-kart driving.

Boomstick: Are you sure it's not a Ninja Turtle?

------------

KOOPA SHELL

Extremely Durable

Withstands Over 200 lbs

Demolishes Anything that is Destructible

Bounces Off Walls

Comes in a Variety of Collectible Colors

------------

Wiz: Their best offense is also their finest defense: the Koopa Shell, made of a tough steel-like substance capable of withstanding over 200 pounds of pressure.

Boomstick: As an offensive weapon, the Koopa Shell can destroy almost anything. It's a living torpedo of pain!

Wiz: There seems to be a common misconception that it takes Mario two hits to kill a Koopa. Actually, it only takes one. There just happens to be this durable shell in the way. However, this leads to the Koopa's greatest weakness: when Mario jumps on a Koopa's back, rather than retaliating, it retreats into its shell. Why?

Boomstick: 'Cause they're a bunch of pussies!

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. The Koopas are cowards, afraid to face a dangerous foe. Some run from danger, but most just hide in their thick shells.

"Aw, come on now." Madotsuki said. "They aren't trained for this, that's all."

Boomstick: Then again, if I were carrying an impenetrable fortress on my back and some large Italian man was trying to murder me, I'd probably hide in it, too.

Wiz: But you'd think as soon as Mario picked up the shell, it would be a perfect time to counterattack, right? And even when they're flying after a good kick, they refuse to stick their feet out and stop themselves.

Boomstick: Well... eh... ah, yeah, you're right, they're bitches.

"And Bowser wonders why his plan always seem to fail." Russell joked.

------------

End of Koopa's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

"Alright, everyone. Does anyone have a coin? Let's do a coin flip." Russell said in a deadpan tone.

"Huh?" Charlotte lets out. "I thought we are having a discussi-"

"Nope, we're not doing this. Does anyone have a coin?"

"Here." Madotsuki gives out a coin.

"Okay, guys. Heads for Goomba, Tails for Koopa."

Russell gets heads. He gets Goomba!

Madotsuki gets tails. She gets Koopa!

Sunny gets tails. He gets Koopa!

Charlotte gets tails. She gets Koopa!

Allen gets heads. He gets Goomba!

Goldia gets tails. She gets Koopa!

"4 to 2, again. Let's just watch." Russell sighs.

------------

BATTLE

------------

As a remix of 1-1 begins to play, a Koopa Troopa emerges from a Warp Pipe and calmly walks through the field. When he meets a Goomba, however, he stops.

FIGHT!

The Koopa and the Goomba both sprout wings, respectively becoming a Paratroopa and a Paragoomba. They take to the air and fly into each other four times. After flying in a circle, the Koopa tries to hit the Goomba by charging at him, but misses. As the Goomba smiles, the Koopa ricochets off a wall and hits the Goomba, who falls under a Thwomp, which he manages to avoid. He also avoids three more Thwomps, but gets hit again by the Koopa, who is squashed under a fifth Thwomp. The Goomba lands near a cannon, followed by the Koopa. As they both fly up, multiple cannons fire at them both.

As they dodge incoming cannonballs and Bullet Bills, they trade a few blows. The Koopa tries to hit the Goomba using the trick he tried earlier, but misses and continuously ricochets off the walls again. When he stops, six Bullet Bills fly up, but the Goomba stops them by dropping Mini Goombas onto them. After dodging two more Bullet Bills, the Goomba and Koopa are high in the air, but as they fly into each other some more, the Angry Sun attacks the Goomba and the Koopa. While the Koopa successfully evades the Sun, the Goomba is hit and loses his wings. Luckily, he lands in a Goomba's Shoe.

As the Koopa descends, the Goomba hops towards his opponent in the shoe. The Koopa hides under a line of Brick Blocks as the Goomba hops on them. The Koopa tries to escape by flying to the right and quickly into a pipe, but the Goomba hits the Koopa, knocking him into it. The Goomba hops in after the Koopa, but gets attacked by a Piranha Plant emerging from the pipe. The Koopa, who lost his wings from the attack, comes out the other end of the pipe to meet a group of red Goombas underground. The Goomba appears and hits the Koopa from above, causing him to hide in his shell.

"So I won then." Russell said in a deadpan voice. He REALLY wants this to be over soon.

As the red Goombas dance victoriously, the Goomba spots a pool of lava near the Koopa. The red Goombas continue to dance as the Goomba advances towards the Koopa and kicks him, causing him to slide towards the lava. Luckily, the pool of Lava is small enough for the Koopa to slide over it and hit a block, causing him to slide into the Goomba and the red Goombas. Unfortunately, he also slides into a much larger pool of lava, reducing him to a Dry Bones as he sinks into it.

DOUBLE KO!

"Oh, so it's a tie. Huh." Russell said in confusion.

"We can do ties?" Allen asked.

------------

Everyone just talks about how fine the battle was and the results.

"A tie?" Goldia said. "Hey! At least there's no losing side."

Russell lets out a long sigh. "I'm just glad that's over."

Madotsuki puts her hand in Russell's shoulder.

"Come on Russy, just turn your brain off and enjoy! The battle was still pretty cool"

"Please..... don't call me that."

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Oh man, I thought this was gonna suck! That was awesome! Who knew those little fuckers could fight like that?

Wiz: The Goomba's arsenal proved effective enough, but its own stupidity became its downfall.

Boomstick: Then the Koopa wussed out and kept to the safety of his shell, not stopping in time to avoid the giant pool of lava death!

Wiz: Even the Koopa's tough shell can't protect it from fire.

Boomstick: You might say this battle really heated up in the end.

"Sure, let's go with that." Sunny said.

We cut to the "Draw" card.

Wiz: This battle is a draw.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE.....

A text that says "You asked for it!" appears over a 4chan(?) thread full of people asking for this very matchup.

A silhouette of a buff man piledriving a shark(huh?) has landed on the street and a man in a jacket with his face shadowed can be seen staring at him.

The silhouette of the man fades and the man in the jacket throws his jacket to reveal that the next fighters are.......

Haggar VS Zangief (Final Fight VS Street Fighter)

"Woah! Look at how huge those men are!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Zangief!" Sunny exclaimed. "But who's Haggar and what's Final Fight?"

Russell grabs his phone and searches up "Final Fight". "Ah, so Final Fight is an old classic fighting game. Which means this is another fighting game matchup."

"Buff guys from fighting games fighting each other?" Sunny said in excitement. "What are you waiting for, Russell? Play the next episode!"

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Capcom has produced hundreds of deadly warriors, but few can best these two hulking leviathans.

Boomstick: Haggar, the mayor-elect of whoop-ass.

Wiz: And Zangief, Russia's Red Cyclone.

Boomstick: These two wrestlers have never met in person, but their rivalry is legendary, and it's about time they duked it out!

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

MIKE HAGGAR

------------

Boomstick: Standing six foot seven and weighing 266 pounds -30 of which is probably in his manly mustache- it's Mike Haggar!

Wiz: For many years, Haggar was a champion wrestler of Slam Masters until being elected mayor of Metro City, a metropolis overrun with street gangs.

"Damn, a big guy like him as the mayor sounds so cool!" Sunny commented.

Boomstick: Too bad there aren't more badasses in office. Most mayors would just put up laws against crime or increase the police force, but Mike takes matters into his own hands.

"Wow! We really need more people like him. Especially right now!" Madotsuki said in awe.

------------

AMERICAN WRESTLING

Grabs

Holds

Twists

Quick Strikes

Submissions

Tie-ups

------------

Wiz: Haggar is a former pro-American wrestler, specializing in grabs, holds, and quick strikes. He's of Scottish ancestry and proud of it, even having a Scottish flag on his gym.

"Appreciation of your culture, I see?" Goldia commented. "He seems like a nice guy."

------------

SCOTTISH BACKHOLD

Focused on Balance

Grappling

Pressure

Sustained Grip

No Groundwork Involved

------------

Wiz: It's likely he has also trained in Scottish backhold wrestling, which involves bearhugging an opponent and keeping your balance while overpowering theirs.

------------

NOTABLE MOVES

Suplex

Piledriver

Back Flip Drop

Body Splash

Spinning Clothesline Lariat

Spinning Piledriver

------------

Boomstick: Haggar's got a devastating move set, ranging from Suplexes, Body Splashes, and his own invention: the Spinning clothesline double lariat, which Zangief stole for his own use. To even the score, Haggar copied Gief's spinning piledriver.

------------

STEEL PIPE

Favored Melee Weapon

A Decent Projectile

Master Skill

------------

Boomstick: When Haggar isn't overpowering people with his pure manliness, his weapon of choice is a blunt pipe. Hey, he's a mayor that kicks ass and recycles!

"A man who is not only strong, he also cares about the environment." Charlotte commented. "Great choice for a mayor!"

Wiz: Even after his victorious election, Haggar continued his vigorous training.

Boomstick: By piledriving sharks!

The image of Haggar piledriving a giant shark lead to jaws dropping.

"That's so cool!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"H-h-how?" Goldia said with difficulty.

"That's...... really impressive." Russell said.

"Where did he even get that shark?" Allen asked.

------------

BULL SHARKS

7 to 11 feet long

Up to 500 lbs

Very Dangerous

Swims Near Shores Often

Wrestling Demonstrates Scottish Backhold

------------

Wiz: It appears Haggar wrestles bull sharks, one of the deadliest sharks on Earth. These can grow up to 11 feet long and weigh up to 500 pounds. Wrestling these proves Haggar's proficiency in the Scottish backhold, as he keeps his balance against the thrashing sharks until he can piledrive them into the beach.

Boomstick: Next Jaws movie needs more Haggar!

Wiz: Unfortunately, during his time as mayor, Haggar was undoubtedly forced to prioritize politics over training. It's likely he didn't have much time to learn new techniques or train against many other wrestlers. As a result, he uses moves and skills from an older era.

"So any modern techniques can be used to catch him off guard." Russell noted.

"Don't worry. If he can still fight, he can still kick some ass." Madotsuki reassured.

Boomstick: But they seem to work pretty damn well.

Wiz: He certainly hasn't lost his touch.

[Announcer: Mike Haggar, the candidate who puts people first.

Haggar growls and kills a bald eagle perched on his arm.]

The scene led to some laughs while Charlotte is saddened for the poor eagle.

------------

End of Mike Haggar's Analyisis

------------

ZANGIEF

------------

Wiz: Zangief stands seven feet tall at 350 pounds, weighing in as one of the strongest on the Street Fighting circuit.

Boomstick: And as a testament to his manliness, check out that wicked shin hair!

------------

RUSSIAN WRESTLING

Grabs and Holds

Tie-Ups

Throws from Tie-Ups

Push and Pull Opponent to Throw Off Balance

Counter-Attacks when Foe Loses Balance

------------

Wiz: Zangief is a champion wrestler in Russia, using push and pull techniques to throw his opponents off balance.

------------

SAMBO

Mix of Wrestling and Martial Arts Russell gets intrigued for a deadly combination.

Uses Taactics from Vikings, Tar-tars, and Golden Horde

Grappling, Groundwork and Submissions

No Leglocks or Chokeholds

------------

Wiz: He also specializes in Sambo, a combination of wrestling and martial arts. He's not skilled in leglocks and chokeholds, but his grappling, submissions, and groundwork are second to none.

------------

NOBLE MOVES

Double Lariat

Flying Power Bomb

Atomic Suplex

Body Splash

Banishing Flat

Spinning "Screw" Piledriver

------------

Boomstick: Zangief's best moves include his Double Lariat, Atomic Suplex, Flying Power Bomb, and a wicked backhand called the Banishing Flat, a move Zangief learned specifically to counter projectiles. Zangief. HATES. Projectiles.

Wiz: His signature move is the Spinning Piledriver, which he learned after getting caught in a cyclone while piledriving a bear.

Jaws are dropped once again. Cause that certainly ain't something anyone could do in a daily basis.

"Okay, That. Is. SO AWESOME!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Sorry, Haggar. But Zangief gets my vote!" Madotsuki stated.

Charlotte was left speechless, she couldn't comprehend such a seemingly impossible feat.

"Okay, that's actually cool." Russell commented.

Boomstick: That is the most awesome thing I've ever heard!

Wiz: Actually, wrestling bears has been Zangief's favourite training exercise since he was a kid.

"I'm sorry, what?!" Allen exclaimed.

"As if this guy couldn't get more awesome....." Sunny said in awe.

Wiz: Supposedly, he wrestles grizzly bears, but these are not native to Russia.

------------

USSURI BROWN BEARS

Up to 1500 lbs

Twice as Large as Grizzly Bears

Rarely in Packs

Occassionally he Wrestles Polar Bears "Even Polar Bears?!" Sunny exclaimed.

------------

Wiz: It's far more likely he wrestles Ussuri brown bears, which can weigh up to 1,500 pounds, well over twice the size of a full-grown grizzly.

Boomstick: Holy shit! He piledrived one of those into a tornado!?

Wiz: Battling such a massive beast corresponds with his Russian wrestling training perfectly, forcing the bears to lose their balance and knocking them out cold! Zangief is a loyal Russian through and through, always fighting for his country rather than personal gain. He is often employed by the Russian President as the country's official fighting representative.

[A video of Zangief and the President dancing along with his henchmen starts playing]

The scene caused some laughs in the audience.

"They must be close friends, huh?" Madotsuki said.

Wiz: That said, Zangief is pretty dimwitted, more a follower than a leader. He fights with instinct rather than reason.

Boomstick: All the more reason to get out of his way!

[Zangief attacks the Duck Hunt Dog and piledrives it.

Zangief: Mmmmhhh! Me Zangief broke you!]

"Thank you, Zangief. For taking down that bastard." Sunny said.

"Woah, Sunny!" Madotsuki exclaimed. "Why on earth would you say that?"

"Trust me, that damn dog deserves that."

Madotsuki gets confused, but just simply shrugs it off.

------------

End of Zangief's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set.

Boomstick: The unstoppable force against the unmovable mayor.

Wiz: Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!! WRESTLING STYLE!

------------

"Alright, who do you go-"

"Zangief" Sunny interrupts. "Piledriving bears on a cyclone. That's all I got to say."

Madotsuki nods. "Yep! Mike's a great man and all but man, Zangief's Piledriver move is so cool!"

Charlotte, Allen, and Goldia raised their hands. "Me too!"

"Wow, a clean sweep." Russell noted, he also votes for Zangief. "But are we wrong? Let's find out!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Zangief and Haggar stand in a deserted street. Haggar stretches his muscles and rips his shirt while Zangief removes his cape, points upwards and laughs, and drinks a bottle of beer before crushing the bottle.

FIGHT!

Haggar and Zangief both grab each other and look at each other in the eyes before Zangief throws Haggar behind him. He tries to attack Haggar with a flying kick, only to get blocked. He tries to punch him, but his punches get blocked, too.

After dodging Zangief's lariat, Haggar suplexes him, attacks him with a lariat, and kicks him. Zangief suplexes Haggar twice and piledrives him before throwing him across the street.

As Zangief advances, Haggar kicks him and attacks him with a steel pipe, but Zangief counters with the Banishing flat, knocking him into a building, which Zangief enters to finish the duel. As they fight, they also go upstairs. A couch, a globe, Princess Peach, a Dragon Ball, Big the Cat, and uh...... let's ignore that, get thrown out the building.

Some laughs can be heard.

"Oh these poor guys." Madotsuki said.

Haggar and Zangief's fists hit each other and Haggar tries and fails to hit Zangief but Zangief suplexes Haggar near a window and, after a few blocked punches, throws himself at Haggar, sending them both out the window.

"Uh oh!" Madotsuki exclaimed. "Are they both going to die?"

Zangief tries to pile drive Haggar into the pavement, but then Haggar begins to turn the tides and tries to piledrive Zangief, then Zangief tries to piledrive Haggar, then Haggar tries to piledrive Zangief. This goes on for a while until they both hit the pavement. As the dust clears, Haggar and Zangief are both seen lying down on the pavement. But Haggar has blood around his head, indicating his death. Then, Zangief stands up, points both arms upward, and laughs triumphantly.

KO!

------------

The Zangief voters, which is everyone, were reliefed in their victory. While some of them griefed in the loss of a great man.

"I called it!" Sunny exclaimed. "Zangief is just nuts!"

Madotsuki nods. "Yep! Though, we did lose a good man."

Allen sighs. "Yeah...... that's unfortunate."

------------

Boomstick: (sighs) A great man has fallen today...

"Aww, Boomstick's sound sad." Madotsuki commented.

Wiz: Haggar and Zangief's similar moveset appeared evenly matched, anticipating each other's moves and countering with their signature attack.

Boomstick: He led a long productive life, kicking ass, ruling Metro City, and keeping the beaches safe from rogue sharks...

Wiz: Not only is Zangief almost 100 pounds larger than Haggar, he's also 13 years younger and been training all his life.

Boomstick: I'm gonna miss that wonderful mustache!

"Me too, buddy. Me too." Sunny comforting Boomstick.

Wiz: Zangief's youth and lack of political agenda were enough to give him a slight edge.

Boomstick: Poor Haggar. He may piledrive sharks, but Zangief's bears were three times larger and probably twice as dangerous. Sure, Haggar can grapple a half ton shark without falling over, but if Zangief can push around 1,500 pound bears as a hobby, Haggar didn't stand a chance.

Wiz: He definitely put up a great fight, though.

Boomstick: That he did. 'Gief just found his window of opportunity.

"Hm, not bad." Allen commented on the pun.

We cut to the "Zangief" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Zangief.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE..........

As the camera records a quiet street, it starts to zoom in a manhole.

As it gets closer, the manhole slowly opens. As it opens, 4 set of eyes can be seen.

The screen fades to black, before revealing that the next matchup will be........

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale

"The turtles!" Russell exclaimed. "They are going to fight each other?"

"Ah! The Ninja Turtles!" Sunny said. "So they'll be-"

Sunny then realizes what's going to happen next.

"Wait. Hold on......"

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were grown from ooze and raised by a warrior rat in the sewers of New York to be the world's most fearsome fighting team.

Boomstick: Lots of superheroes have some weird origin stories, but this one is plain ridiculous.

Wiz: Their greatest advantage in battle is their family bond and teamwork. But, on their own, which Turtle is deadliest?

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

"Are they actually going to fight each other?" Russell asked.

Sunny lets out a long sigh. "Oh boy, this is going to hurt."

"Let me guess, one of your favorite cartoons as a kid?" Russell asked Sunny.

"Well, I wouldn't say one of my favs, but yeah you could say that." Sunny responded.

------------

LEONARDO

------------

Wiz: Leonardo, the leader of the team, is smart and strategic with a strong sense of honor.

Boomstick: Too bad he traded his sense of humor for that sense of honor. This guy always means serious business.

"Probably has way better jokes than you." Russell said to Boomstick

------------

NINJAKEN SWORD

2 Ft. Long Blade

Designed for Swift, Deadly, Offensive Strikes

Also called Ninjato

Commonly Referred to as Katana

Invented by Hollywood

------------

Boomstick: His weapon of choice is the Ninjaken sword, shorter, sturdier, and straighter than an ordinary Katana, and designed for swift deadly strikes! Out of all the Turtles' weapons, the Ninjaken is the only one specifically designed to murder people! And what's better than one Ninjaken? Two, dammit!

Wiz: In many timelines, Leonardo is the one who ultimately defeats The Shredder, though always with plenty of help.

------------

SKILL SET

Expert Strategies

Sword Master

Strong Both Physically and Mentally

Serious Devotion to Training and Family

Bushido Code

------------

Wiz: As leader, he is usually the one with a plan. He spends most of his time training his body and mind under his Master Splinter's instruction and follows Bushido, a strict Samurai code of honor and duty. At one point, he even fought and killed a sort of physical embodiment of the Devil.

[Leonardo throws an arrow to the Devil's Squid-like form's eye, resulting in it's death]

"Yikes, the Devil looks so ugly." Madotsuki commented.

Boomstick: Giving Keanu Reeves a much-needed break!

Wiz: However, Leonardo finds it difficult to accept failure. Should things go horribly wrong, his concentration can quickly slip away from him, leaving him sloppy and imprecise.

Boomstick: Or that one time he had his voice change. (Referencing the change of voice actors in the 2012 TMNT TV Show)

Boomstick: Leo doesn't like to lose.

[Leonardo: Quit clowning you guys! This is serious!]

------------

End of Leonardo's Analysis

------------

DONATELLO

------------

Wiz: Donatello is the brains of the bunch.

Boomstick: He does machines!

Wiz: Right, Boomstick. Somehow, he learned to operate and manipulate both human and alien technology without any formal education or budget whatsoever. He also speaks 100% fluent Techno-babble.

[Donatello: The resulting intermittent multi-polar flux should create the Electromagnetic Pulse!]

Boomstick: What the hell did I just hear? All that gibberish means he's probably trained less than the others, devoting more of his time for science!

------------

BO

6 Ft. Long Staff

Durable

Oak

Longest Reach of all the Team's Weaponry

Rocksteady's Worst Nightmare "Isn't he that strong rhino?" Sunny asked.

------------

Wiz: Fortunately, his useful Bo Staff makes up for his lack of constant training. Durable, oak, and six feet long, the Bo gives Donatello far more attack range than his other brothers.

Boomstick: The range is nice, but it takes a lot of time and patience to kill anybody with a stick.

------------

SKILL SET

Level-Headed

Bojitsu Master "Are those Martial Arts for his stick?" Charlotte asked.

Master Technician and Programmer

Rumored IQ of 637 A few were in awe of his impossibly high IQ.

Fluent in Techno-babble

------------

Wiz: He's no expert strategist, that's Leonardo's turf, but Donatello's considered the most level-headed of the Turtles. Even with his time spent tinkering, he's still a very capable warrior, easily keeping up with his brothers and even killing the Shredder in an alternate dimension.

Boomstick: An ass-kicking nerd? I don't believe it.

"Really? How about you try to take on Ol' Donny then?" Madotsuki smirked.

[Donatello: Eh, I'm making this up as I go.]

------------

End of Donatello's Analysis

------------

MICHAELANGELO

------------

Wiz: Michelangelo is the youngest of the turtles. He's lazy, undisciplined, and easily distracted. He spends his free time playing video games, watching TV, reading comic books, and eating pizza.

Boomstick: That turtle is fucked up!

Wiz: What?

Boomstick: Come on, you can't tell me that that turtle is not on drugs!

Wiz: I don't know, I always thought he was dropped as a kid.

"I don't know, he just seemed goofy." Charlotte stated.

Boomstick: Okay, look! He has all the signs! Strange eating habits, inability to pay attention, incoherent phrases...

------------

NUNCHUCKS

Also called Nunchakus

Overcomplicated

Looks Cool? Maybe? "I mean, it's cool that he can use that as a weapon." Sunny commented.

A Farming Tool

------------

Wiz: No, the Nunchaku, isn't really a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for threshing grain. These "weapons" are unnecessarily overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet SOMEHOW, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through fights to victories he really doesn't deserve.

"What? Sure, he's an idiot. But he isn't too bad as a warrior himself!" Sunny stated.

Boomstick: He even beat Raph once.

Wiz: Sure, I get it. Swinging chuks around gives him momentum to hit with them, blah, blah, blah, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort. Seriously, who came up with these things? They're preposterous!

"Come on Wiz! It may not be effective, but Mikey can still fight even then!" Goldia reassurred.

Boomstick: You're prepostemous! I don't know.

Wiz: And, for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great master Splinter gave the most complicated weapon to the retard of the group. WHY?

.....

Sunny would clenched his fists. "What did you just say?" He said in a growling voice.

Charlotte noticed the change in his tone. "Um, Sunny? Are you alrig-"

"You called him a WHAT?!" Sunny exclaimed in an unexpected scarily angered tone.

Everyone flinched from his unusual behavior.

"I'm sorry. But calling him...... THAT is just crossing the line!"

Madotsuki tries to approached Sunny to calm him down. "Sunny, calm down! Let's jus-"

"You know what, how about you try to fight him with a baseball bat then! I'm sure you could take him on since he's a goddamn idi-"

"SUNNY PLEASE!"

Sunny starts to feel a grasp all over him. It's Madotsuki hugging with both her arms.

"Sunny, just please calm down for a second, alright?" Madotsuki said to Sunny in a worried tone.

Sunny looks behind to see Madotsuki with a worried expression. He looks around to see everyone staring at him with a mix of worried and scared.

Sunny takes a deep breath. "Sorry everyone. It's just, I don't think Mikey deserve all that negativity."

Charlotte comforts Sunny with a shoulder pat. "It's okay! Your reaction is completely justified. I also understand that Mike doesn't deserve that."

Russell stares at Sunny, while letting a rare smile on his face. "Alright Sunny, are you ready to continue?"

Sunny sits down. "Yes, just continue."

Boomstick: ...Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he?

Wiz: He'd better not.

"*sigh* Come on guys, just have some faith on him." Goldia sighed.

"Yeah, you guys are a bit...... too much on him." Russell said.

[Michelangelo: Ho ho, someone's cranky!]

------------

End of Michaelangelo's Analysis

------------

RAPHAEL

------------

Boomstick: Raph is cool but crude! Hell, forget crude, this guy's borderline psycho!

Wiz: Sure to throw the first punch, Raphael is certainly the most vicious of the team. He's constantly butting heads with the others and challenging Leonardo's leadership.

------------

SAI

A Dagger-Like Truncheon

Used Against Swords

Primarily Defensive

Traps and Controls an Opponent's Weapons

For Stabbing, not Slicing

------------

Boomstick: He uses twin Sai, which is like a combination of a pitchfork, dagger, and Wolverine's claws.

Wiz: Like the Nunchuk, they also humbly began as a farming tool, but were re-evaluated to counter the oppressive samurai.

Boomstick: They're best used as a close-range defensive weapon. The triple prongs are designed to block, trap, and control an opponent's weapon while using the pommel to beat the enemy into submission. Raph's Sai can even snap swords!

"That's certainly a weapon for a hot-head like him." Charlotte commented.

------------

SKILL SET

Vicious and Brutal

Sai Master

Arguably the Toughest of the Team

Hot-Headed with Common Fits of Rage

Enjoys Fighting

------------

Wiz: Raphael is not exactly the smartest fighter, usually rushing into a brawl without a plan and just overpowering a foe. Because of this, Raphael spends much of his time honing his combat skills. It is very likely he is physically the strongest turtle.

Boomstick: Also, this guy's in some serious need of anger management!

Wiz: He is naturally hot-headed and sometimes loses control of his rage. He is much more vicious than the other turtles and, at one point in the comics, even became the Shredder himself.

"Wait, what?!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Okay, this guy got anger issues. But what could possibly cause him to became his worst enemy?" Madotsuki asked.

"He'd probably got....... brainwash?" Russell guessed. "Cliche, I know."

"At least he wasn't The Last Ronan." Sunny referenced.

"The what?" Russell asked.

"Just wait for the video game." Sunny suggested.

[Raphael: Damn!]

------------

End of Raphael's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a NINJA TURTLE DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!! BATTLE ROYALE!

------------

Sunny raised his hand. "I'm just gonna do a pity vote and say Mike. I don't care that he loses." He declared.

"Uh...... alright then! Go do your thing!" Madotsuki responded.

"Well.......... Donnie's pretty smart." Charlotte noted.

"I mean, Raphael's is too tough. Maybe not smart, but tough." Allen declared.

"But Leo's the leader. A skilled one at best." Goldia noted.

"Sure, let's go with that." Madotsuki agreed with Goldia.

"I also vote for Don." Russell stated. "2 for Leo, 2 for Don, 1 for Raph, 1 for Mike. Let's see who among the turtles will be the best!"

"Ah damn, I forgot this is a battle to the death." Sunny remembered.

"Oof....... yeah this one is gonna hurt." Madotsuki stated.

"Yikes, well, they couldn't go that far at each other, right? They are brothers." Charlotte reassured.

------------

BATTLE

------------

In the sewers of New York, the turtles face each other and they draw their weapons.

FIGHT!

Leonardo goes after Michelangelo and both trade blow for blow. Meanwhile, Donatello faces Raphael and Leo backflips past them. As Michelangelo attacks him, Leo stabs him with his swords, then leaps over him and slices off his arm, followed by his head, then Michelangelo was decapitated.

"Ah, come on! He may be last, but did he really deserve that?" Sunny complained.

"Poor Mikey." Charlotte said in a remorseful tone.

Don and Raph continue fighting. Both seem evenly matched until Don throws Raph past Leo. Leo tries to attack Don, but Don leaps on a stack of crates and begins hitting Leo in the head with his staff.

"Donnie, I don't think that kind of force could harm him." Madotsuki stated.

Raph gets up and knocks the crates down, sending Don flying backward onto the floor. Raph proceeds to stab Don with his sai 24 times and then faces Leo.

"Yikes!" Goldia exclaimed. "I know he's got a bad temper, but I don't think he would do that to his own brother like that!"

"Once again, he really isn't one to piss off." Madotsuki noted.

They both fight each other and Raph knocks Leo into the water. As Leo resurfaces, Raph jumps into the water. They both trade blows with their weapons. Both seem to be at a stalemate until Raph catches Leo's swords with his sais. Eventually, the sais break Leo's sword and then both stab the other. Raph, however, is stabbed in the throat while Leo's wound isn't fatal.

Raphael: DAMN!

Raphael falls below the surface of the water, which is colored red by his blood. Leo sits down in the water and looks at the sai in his body.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

Leo voters were relaxed. The Donnie voters were took a defeated breath. The Raphael voter (who is Allen) just sat down. Sunny, the Mikey pity voter, just didn't feel anything, he just doesn't care.

Some were definitely felt a bit uncomfortable watching the brothers brutally killing each other for no reason whatsoever.

"Alright, seems like we won." Madotsuki declared the winner. "But, I don't know how I feel about this....."

Goldia nods. "Yes....... it just doesn't feel satisfying when it's against their own brothers."

"Is it weird that we're satisfied on who beaten who on a fight to the death?" Russell asked.

"Well, this one's different." Sunny responded.

"Still weird, though."

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Woah-ho-ho, somebody call an ambulance! Or a vet, I don't know.

Wiz: There is a reason why Leonardo is the leader of the team. Not for strength or speed, but for strategy. Leonardo understands the strengths and weaknesses of the other turtles. His biggest threat was Raphael's sword-snapping Sai, so he attacked the weakest of the group first.

Boomstick: This means Leo let Donny beat the hell outta Raph, who couldn't compete with Don's range. By the time Raph got his revenge, Leo was in way better shape for the final duel.

Wiz: And I can hear all the fanboys raging "But Raph won in the movie! He should win here! Nyah nyah!" No! Four reasons. One: The result of the fight was specifically plot constructive, which is rarely accurate. Two: Leonardo absolutely decimated Raph in the fistfight beforehand. Three: Leonardo didn't want to fight at all. If he did, he would've killed Raphael right here.

[Their screen shows a screenshot of Leo's sword placed on Raph's shoulder from said movie]

Boomstick: Tilt the blade, slide left, bam: No more Raph.

Wiz: And four: That whole movie doesn't make much sense, to begin with. Why should this?

"What movie are you referring to?" Russell asked.

"And how non-sensical could that movie be?" Sunny adds.

Boomstick: But hey, Leo can still die from that stab, right?

Wiz: Doubtful, for several reasons. Turtles proportionally have smaller vital organs and far more muscle mass than humans, meaning there's little chance Raphael actually hit anything important. Leo's actually been stabbed plenty of times in the series and walked away, and all four turtles have been trained in Chi Kung and can control their breathing and heart rate to survive extreme conditions.

Boomstick: Looks like Leo got the point of this battle.

We cut to the "Leonardo" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Leonardo.

------------

"Yeah, let's just move on." Russell suggested.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

As the screen turns to black, Boomstick's voice can be heard.

Boomstick: Leo may taste victory now, but the fight is just beginning..........

"Wait, Leo's fighting again?" Madotsuki asked.

"Huh, back to back." Russell said.

"But, who?" Goldia asked.

The black screen fades out to play a scene where Leonardo stands up from the now Raph's blood-stained water then crawls back up to leave.

As he was heading for the manhole, he can hear footsteps right behind him. He can see a shadow from a corridor. As the shadow gets closer, it would later reveal itself to be........

Zitz, the Battletoad!

"Zitz? The frog from that damn game?" Sunny recalled.

"A frog?" Madotsuki gets intrigued, since she likes frogs!

Zitz charges at him, then Leonardo rushes to the manhole and jumps out to the streets.

However, Zitz has followed Leo, then charges at him again.

Leonardo readies his blades then takes up a defensive stance..............

FIGHT!

Zitz VS Leonardo (Battletoads VS TMNT)

"That's a weird looking frog." Charlotte commented.

"I hate that game. So much." Sunny grunted.

Chapter Text

INTRO

------------

Boomstick: Last time on Death Battle, the Ninja Turtles battled to find the deadliest of the team, and good old Leo used cunning strategy and swordplay to come out on top.

"Jeez, can we please not talk about what we witness and move on?" Madotsuki suggested.

"They didn't even give any respect to Michael." Sunny frowned.

Wiz: But the fight isn't over yet. Leonardo must now face his most powerful imitator: Zitz, the leader of the mighty Battletoads.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

ZITZ

------------

Wiz: Zitz was computer engineered as one of three ultimate amphibian warriors in a gladiatorial video game reality show called Battletoads. This accidentally opened a dimensional gateway to another galaxy. Every time the game began, the galaxy became the Battletoad arena for their superhero war against the Dark Queen and they-

Boomstick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

"Yeah, what?" Russell taking part in Boomstick's confusion.

Wiz: Three nerds made a video game, got sucked through it into another galaxy, and became toad superheroes.

Boomstick: 'Kay, got it!

"What?" Allen gets puzzled.

"So, um, how do you do that?" Madotsuki asked.

"Strange.... origin, I must say." Goldia commented.

"So did they suffer as much as I did when I played the game myself?" Sunny asked.

------------

BACKGROUND

Name: Morgan Zielger

Height: 6'8"

Weight: 196 lbs.

Leader and Strategist

Superhuman Strength

Was Originally Yellow, But is now Blue-Green

------------

Wiz: Zitz was originally colored yellow, to differentiate him from Rash, but he is now officially a blue-green hue. He leads the Battletoad team with a laid back yet strategic attitude.

Boomstick: He chooses to go with my personal favorite battle strategy: beat the shit out of everything that moves!

------------

SHAPE SHIFTING

Can Transform Body Into Weaponry A few were intrigued by this ability.

Giant Fists, Boots, Horns, Hammers, Weights, etc.

Technologically Advanced

Added Drills, Blades, Saws, Spikes and Dozers

------------

Boomstick:And as a Battletoad, Zitz can shapeshift his body into various weaponry: Giant fists, heavy weights, ram horns, you name it.

Wiz: Unlike his teammates, Zitz has used his inventive genius to mechanically advance his weaponry far beyond those of his fellow toads. By combining technology and brawn, Zitz has added blades, saws, and drills to his arsenal.

Boomstick: This guy could be the world's best handyman, if he always wasn't getting sucked into an alternate dimension every time someone turned on a video game.

"Wait, so he just gets transported to the game when someone turns it on?" Charlotte asked.

"Man, that would suck. Imagine you're in the dining room eating your steak when all of a sudden you get transported to COD." Sunny joked. Some had visibly laughed from Sunny's attempt at humor. It work.

Wiz: Despite almost having no actual combat training, Zitz has proved strong enough to power through some of the toughest games ever made. And yes, the game's excruciating difficulty is canon, as it was specifically programmed by the Battletoads themselves.

Boomstick: Yeah, try and wrap your brain around that one.

"Ah, so they have felt the suffer of a million players that they themselves are aware of creating." Sunny noted. "Serves you right."

[Zitz: I'm a big bad mother of all toads!]

------------

End of Zitz' Analysis

------------

LEONARDO

------------

"We're going to be talking about Leonardo, again?" Russell asked.

Sunny stares at Russell. "Just go with it."

Wiz: We briefly covered his abilities last episode, but there's plenty more to Leonardo.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'2"

Weight: 180 lbs.

Master of Ninjitsu, Bushido, and Swordsmanship

Leader and Strategist

Skilled in Using Environment

Favorite Color: Blue. Duh

------------

Wiz: He's trained in Ninjitsu and Bushido all his life, shaping his body and mind to master close combat, swordsmanship, honor, and the art of invisibility.

Boomstick: He's also the strategist of the turtle team, who are now all dead. Sooo... yeah.

Russell facepalms. "Did you really need to mention again?"

Madotsuki sighs. "No need to beat a dead horse, guys. If that's what it means."

Sunny frowns. "I still hate how you did Mikey......."

Wiz: Leonardo is especially skilled in use of environment to outsmart and outmaneuver an opponent. He is also the only Ninja Turtle in any timeline who has studied under two masters, Splinter the rat, and the Ancient one.

Boomstick: Hey Wiz, look! It's an Asian Yoda! ...What?

------------

NINJAKEN

Also called Ninjato

Shorter and Straighter than Katanas

Designed for Quick, Deadly Strikes

2 Ft. Long Blade

A Hollywood Invention

------------

Boomstick: Leo wields two Ninjaken swords, which are best for swift deadly strikes and are designed with the idea that a good offense, is the best defense. They're usually mistaken as katana in the shows and comics, even though they are obviously straight, rather than curved.

Wiz: The Ninjaken is, in fact, an invention of Hollywood, as there is no historical evidence of the weapon's existence.

Boomstick: Like the moon landing!

"Wow, who would have guessed he's a non Moon-Landing believer." Madotsuki said sarcastically.

Wiz: Shut up. While he usually relies on his brothers' solid teamwork, he has proven to be a very effective warrior on his own, too, defeating all sorts of enemies like ninja robots, giant monsters, war-torn aliens, and even The Shredder.

[Leonardo: (swipes his sword at a Foot Ninja) Gotcha. Leonardo then kicks the Foot Ninja.]

------------

End of Leonardo's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

Sunny would be the first to say his vote. "I mean, it's gotta be Leonardo, right? This is just a normal Tuesday from him, nothing new."

Madotsuki raised her hand. "I would like to take Sunny's side too."

Allen would also raised his hand. Indicating his agreement.

"Eeeeeehhhh..... b-but Zitz' got some c-crazy abilities t-to work with." Charlotte struggled to say.

"Charlotte, are you oka-" Goldia gets interrupted by Charlotte by getting close to her with a crazed expression.

"RIGHT?!"

Goldia flinched. "HUH?! Right, right!"

"What the hell's wrong with Charlotte?" Sunny thought.

"..........Moving on from that." Russell then declared his vote for Leo. "So, 4 to 2, again? Let's continue."

------------

BATTLE

------------

The camera pans to a manhole then Leonardo would jump out of it then Zitz follows next.

FIGHT!

Zitz uses his ram horns to knock Leonardo into the fence and, as Leo bounces off, Zitz kicks him with an iron boot and then punches him away with a giant fist. Leo recovers just in time to avoid Zitz' drill attack and kicks him twice, only to get countered by a giant fist and a spiked wall. After pummeling Leo some more, Zitz throws him towards the wire fence...

...only for Leo to flip onto his feet and defend himself from Zitz' giant fist. Leo hits Zitz twice and stabs him once, but Zitz turns into a weight to defend himself from Leo's swords. Eventually, Leo jumps into the sewer as Zitz returns to his normal form and jumps into the sewer.

"Let's not forget, an expert ninja uses the environmental advantage. And he's in a very good one too." Madotsuki noted.

As Zitz scouts around for Leo, the turtle jumps out of a hole in the wall, stabs Zitz with his sword and jumps away. Leo tries this again, but Zitz grows a chainsaw tail, which Leo dodges. Zitz gives chase and finds that Leo has disappeared. Leo jumps out of the wall and hurts Zitz. Enraged, Zitz rapidly attacks the wall that Leo jumps back into through the hole. This distraction allows Leo to swim through the water and then slice Zitz in half.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

Leo's voters were satisfied again, while the Zitz' voters were sat down in defeat. Charlotte in the other hand.......

"Ahhhhhhhh, I was wrong?!" Charlotte screamed silently with a weak voice.

Russell gets confused and so were the others.

"Okay, Charlotte, you okay?"

Charlotte heards Russell's voice and stares at him. "Oh nah, I'm fine."

"Ya sure, you are not in your usual se-"

"Don't worry! I'm just....... a bit thirsty, that's all!"

"......okay?"

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Damn.

Wiz: Zitz was more than a match for Leonardo in a simple brawl, using his brutal arsenal to overpower him. But when it came to using the environment, Zitz couldn't handle Leonardo's ninja skills and his lack of training left him frustrated and unsure of what to do.

Boomstick: While Zitz is a strategist, he always relies on his brute force, and once Leo went in stealth mode and turned the tides, Zitz decided to just bring the whole sewer down. And c'mon, Leo fights all kinds of mutants and monsters at least once a week.

Wiz: Of all the toads, Zitz certainly stood the best chance with his technologically advanced weaponry, but while the Battletoads are known for accomplishing impossible odds, so are the Ninja Turtles. Leonardo made quick work of Zitz as soon as he had the chance.

Boomstick: In the end, Zitz just needed to pull himself together.

We cut to the "Leonardo" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Leonardo.

Boomstick: Again.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE............

"Hey, Wiz. Have you seen my car? I was sure I parked it right next to our lab." Boomstick asked.

"Uhhh..............."

The screen turns to static for a bit then cuts to a car on what seems to be Boomstick's.

A shriek can be heard, and the shadow above the car becomes bigger and bigger until the source of the shriek lands on impact into the car. It is revealed to be....... some sort of dinosaur?

As the camera pans upwards, a familiar looking dinosaur can be seen trying to lands on the other dinosaur.

"Yoshi?!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

The video then slows down until it freezes, then the thumbnail appears to reveal the next episode will be.........

Yoshi VS Riptor (Nintendo VS Killer Instinct)

"Oh, Yoshi's here! That's cool." Russell commented.

"The hell's that dinosaur?" Sunny asked.

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Boomstick: Who doesn't like dinosaurs? No one, 'cause they're awesome?

"They're fine, I guess." Russell said in a deadpan tone.

Wiz: Like Yoshi, Mario's happy-go-lucky steed.

Boomstick: And Riptor, the Dino Warrior with a killer instinct. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

YOSHI

------------

Wiz: Yoshi is a cheerful and friendly dinosaur whose race happens to be among Bowser's most hated enemies. Why?

Boomstick: Cause they're so goddamn happy all the time!

------------

BACKGROUND

Bowser's First Nemesis

High, Strong Jump

Can Resist Knock-Back

Naturally Skilled at Basic Combat and Speed

Constantly Followed By Incredibly Happy Music

------------

Wiz: Yoshi is considered one of the fastest characters in the Mario universe and has a higher and stronger jump than Mario. Despite his cute and cheery demeanor, Yoshi's powerful enough to put down this goliath single-handedly. He's able to keep up with experienced fighters like Solid Snake, Link, and even previous Death Battle champion Samus Aran.

"Some characters really doesn't make sense when put together, huh?" Madotsuki chuckled.

Boomstick: And either he doesn't have any ears or he's really freakin' patient, 'cause he somehow put up with that whiny-ass Baby Mario!

Baby Mario cries.

"Oh, trust me. I couldn't handle it either." Sunny recalling his unpleasant memories.

Boomstick: If it were me, someone would've found him in a dumpster after the first level!

"Uh, Boomstick. What the hell?" Russell said in a worried tone.

"Boomstick!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Figured he wouldn't make a great parent....." Sunny groaned.

Boomstick: Also, while young Yoshis are dumb enough to run off cliffs, they learn quickly over time, eventually driving go-karts, playing sports and surviving the greatest death trap ever created: Mario Party!

"I just noticed everyone in Mario knows how to play sports for some reason." Madotsuki commented.

Sunny starts to recall some memories with his good ol' friends playing Mario Party. Especially one with Kel.

Wonder how they're doing nowadays?

------------

YOSHI EGGS

Maneuverable Projectiles

Light-Weight

Can Carry up to 6

Different Eggs Create Different Effects

Made from the Souls of Devoured Enemies Everyone did a double take on what they just read.

------------

Wiz: Yoshi has a large arsenal of eggs to use as lightweight projectiles and can even create a giant egg shell to use as an all-encompassing shield.

Boomstick: What is it with creatures from the Mario universe using their babies as weapons? Is it that effective? I'm gonna have to test this out. Maybe some sort of Baby Launcher...

"Boomstick!" Goldia exclaimed. "That's just awful! How could you think of something like that?"

Allen frowned. "Yikes, that's a bit too much."

Wiz: Boomstick! That's a terrible idea!

"You tell em, Wiz!" Madotsuki cheered.

........Any time you'd want to reload, you'd have to wait nine months.

"Oh, so you're in on it too, huh?" Madotsuki frowned. "......okay."

------------

DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

Long, Stretchy Tongue

Can Eat Almost Anything

Can Get Special Abilities or Produce Eggs

Can Trap Enemies in Eggs

Has Trouble Swallowing Koopa Eggs

------------

Wiz: Anyway, Yoshi's greatest asset is his stomach.

Boomstick: Yeah, Yoshi's got a bad eating problem and devours everything in sight with his long stretchy tongue. He can swallow almost anything, even fire.

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. Yoshi has the strangest digestive system I've ever come across. Certain meals can grant him special abilities. Otherwise, after consuming a foe or item, Yoshi... uh... ejects an egg spawned from the subject. The egg may have special properties from said object, or contain the victim within.

Boomstick: Wait, is that how he makes eggs?! Are there any female Yoshis?

Wiz: I don't think they're male or female. Yoshis may be asexual.

Boomstick: That poor miserable creature.

[Yoshi: Oh ho ho, Yoshi got right stuff!]

------------

End of Yoshi's Analysis

------------

RIPTOR

------------

'Well that's quite the contrast to our other dino fighter." Russell commented.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 7'0" "That thing is really tall......" Sunny thought. The guy who's insecure about his height.

Weight: 700 lbs.

Genetically Engineered

Designed to be Smart and Vicious, but Backfired

Only 4 Years Old, so has Little Combat Training

------------

Wiz: Riptor was genetically engineered by Ultratech to be the perfect combination of human intelligence and animal brutality.

------------

COMBAT

Tooth, Claw, and Tail

Firey Acid Projectile

Rushes Opponents With Combo

------------

Boomstick: His tools of death are his teeth, claws, and impaling tail, and he knows how to use them well, pulling off insanely bloody combos. And when he's not fighting up close, he can spit a fiery acid!

Wiz: Riptor's only four years old and yet, already, he's a nearly unstoppable killing machine.

Boomstick: That's one ass-kicking toddler!

Russell chuckles. "A dinosaur that kicks ass sounds wild."

Wiz: He has reached a point where his human emotion and reasoning conflict with his predatory instincts, often confusing him to the blind point of rage and aggression.

Boomstick: Riptor may look, sound, and act like a velociraptor, but he's really something else entirely. He's twice as big and twice as slow, and I don't think velociraptors could shoot acid. They were awesome enough without it!

------------

VELOCIRAPTOR INSTINCTS

Brutal and Cunning

First Incapacitates Victims

Hunted in Packs

Stealthy

Alone, they Rush and Overpowered Opponents

------------

Boomstick: With a limited amount of combat training, Riptor relies on his raptor instincts in a fight. Raptors were pack hunters, preferring to plague their victims with stealth, speed, and secrecy, though they were no pushovers by themselves. On their own, they usually just rush their opponent and overpower them with ultra combos, and if Jurassic Park has taught us anything, it's that raptors are clever sons of bitches!

Wiz: Wow, Boomstick, I didn't know you knew so much about dinosaurs.

"Dude, dinosaurs are cool." Madotsuki said.

Boomstick: Yeah, I always wanted me a pet raptor. I was gonna call him Barney after I found out what irony was.

"Man, that purple dino gave me nightmares." Sunny said in a frightened tone.

Charlotte chucked. "Wow, Sunny. You were afraid of him?" Teasing Sunny.

"Q-q-quiet."

[Killer Instinct announcer: Supreme victory!

Riptor feasts on the remains of what used to be a challenger.]

------------

End of Riptor's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

------------

Charlotte would be the first to say. "Okay, I'm just gonna say Yoshi. Not because it's cute, but unironically, it is pretty capable."

Madotsuki comes close to Charlotte. "I agree!"

Sunny just shrugs and comes to Madotsuki's seat. He joins Yoshi's side.

Goldia raised her hand. "I'll just go with the ferocious dinosaur. That's all."

Allen sighs. "I don't know...... I'll just go with Riptor."

Russell shakes his head. "Oh come on, 4 to 2 again? Yes, I vote for Yoshi. Let's start, dino fight!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Yoshi is happily dancing when Riptor emerges from a pipe and roars, scaring Yoshi, who begins cowering.

FIGHT!

Riptor begins by attacking Yoshi repeatedly and knocking him back.

Announcer: AWESOME COMBO!

"Heh, fighting games were so ridiculous." Russell chuckled.

As Riptor advances, Yoshi throws three eggs at her, but these do very little. Yoshi then forces out a large egg and throws it at Riptor, causing a baby Yoshi to appear.

Baby Yoshi: Yoshi!

Riptor attacks the baby Yoshi and bites its head off.

"Oh lord!" Goldia exlaimed.

"Dude, I feel sick." Sunny said covering his mouth.

Yoshi screams and runs off but is stopped by a Koopa Troopa. He eats the Koopa Troopa and spits him at Riptor, who deflects it but Yoshi protects himself with his egg shield. Riptor attacks the shield until it breaks and then proceeds to attack Yoshi some more, only for Yoshi to counter.

Announcer: C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Yoshi ground pounds Riptor, who spits acid at him, but Yoshi eats the acid and traps it in an egg. He then throws the egg at Riptor, covering her face with acid.

"Ooooooh, that's gonna hurt." Madotsuki narrates.

Riptor roars in pain and tries to attack Yoshi again, but Yoshi eats her and forces her out as a giant egg. As the egg falls off the cliff which Yoshi is standing next to, Riptor manages to break free, but all too late. Riptor falls down into a pink car with flame patterns on it, with only her legs sticking out.

Yoshi jumps then lands on front then does a backflip landing on his feet, then happy music starts playing he does a little dance!

"Oh thank goodness that's over." Goldia said in relief.

"Where's the K.O?' Madotsuki asked.

Riptor starts screaming, the car then melts from her acid spit. Riptor again lets out a loud shriek, scaring Yoshi.

Yoshi then looks behind, and a Koopa Troopa is there! The Koopa widens its eyes and starts running but unfortunately for the Koopa, Yoshi already got it's tongue sticking on it, Yoshi then devours the Koopa, now having the shell on it's mouth.

Riptor shrieks, but before she could charge, Yoshi spat out the shell onto her head, exploding it in a instant and the body falls down, lifeless. The shell ricochets at Yoshi, but just in time for him to swallow it again. Yoshi then throws it into the lava pit.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"Well, damn. Guess I was right." Sunny cheered.

"That poor Koopa." Allen sighed.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: NOOO, my car!

Madotsuki laughs. "Aww, that was your car?

Wiz: Yoshi couldn't compete with Riptor's tough and brutal viciousness, but his varied arsenal ultimately produced a winning move.

Boomstick: Riptor's a friggin' beast in a fistfight, but while Yoshi looks all cute and stuff, he's actually a deadly devouring machine, like my ex-wife!

Wiz: That raptor mind of Riptor's might be cunning and clever, but tooth and claw can only accomplish so much. Yoshi's bizarre digestive system rebounded the acid spit, blinding Riptor and leaving him vulnerable.

Boomstick: Riptor may be smart, but Yoshi can drive cars, and show me another dinosaur who can do that!

Wiz: Even with a velociraptor's strong sense of hearing and smell, Riptor's confused and vengeful mind wasn't able to process the change of tactics fast enough. Even so, he was already finished.

Boomstick: Even if that conveniently placed cliff hadn't had been there, Riptor would have lost his whole face pretty quick to the acid. He just didn't have the stomach for this dino-mite dino fight.

Wiz: What?

Boomstick: I'm clever!

"No." Russell facepalms.

We cut to the "Yoshi" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Yoshi.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE....

A nun in a garden waters a plant, then a beautiful butterfly starts flying next to her. The nun, noticed the butterfly, has her interest peaked.

On a different camera angle, a hooded girl can be seen spying on the nun. She comes out of the bush, revealing to be.......

Taokaka!

Russell's interest in fighting games can be seen in his expression. "BlazBlue! I love that game."

Taokaka noticed the butterfly, so she rushed to the garden!

Back to the nun, her interest of the butterfly, made her strip off her nun clothes, to reveal......

Felicia!

Felicia VS Taokaka (Darkstalkers VS BlazBlue)

"Another fighting game matchup?" Russell asked in interest.

"Oh! Where are her clothes?" Goldia asked.

"A cat themed fight?" Madotsuki asked.

"Oh wow! It's a battle of the cats!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Sunny starts to visibly blush. "Oh..... Felicia. That damn cat."

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Boomstick: Catfight!

"Literally." Sunny said.

Wiz: It literally is, Boomstick. Not only do we have two ferocious females in the ring today, but they're also, well, cats.

Boomstick: Felicia, the popstar demon cat chick lady.

"Wow, she can sing?" Charlotte said.

"And popular too!" Allen added.

Wiz: And Taokaka, BlazBlue's speedy vigilante.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

FELICIA

------------

Wiz: As a catwoman, Felicia faced discrimination all her life. She was raised by a nun and became a successful pop-star, a passion that would ultimately lead her on a quest to bring humans and cat-people together to make children happy.

"Aww, that's sweet!" Madotsuki said.

"Good to know she was beloved despite her appearance." Goldia said in a proud tone.

Boomstick: What the hell? I thought we were talking about a deadly demon warrior and... is she naked?!

"Yeah, it's pretty strange." Russell commented.

Wiz: Yes.

Boomstick: But, she's a cat.

Wiz: Yes...

Boomstick: Hmmm... you think it'd be wrong to-

Wiz: YES!

"Boomstick, you're not thinking what I thought you're thinking, right?" Madotsuki said in a dissapointed tone.

"It's Boomstick, you know EXACTLY what he's thinking of." Sunny sighed.

-------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 128 lbs.

Raised by a Nun "Interesting." Allen thought.

Happy-Go-Lucky Attitude

Superhuman Strength, Speed, and Endurance

------------

Wiz: Felicia is a Darkstalker, a creature of the night, and naturally possesses supernatural strength, speed, and agility. She can also use her unique cat senses to sniff out enemies from extreme distances.

------------

COMBAT

Long, Pink Claws

Strong Tail

Speed-Based Combos

High-Damaging Grapples

Can Charge Energy at Will

Natural Athlete

------------

Boomstick: She can tear into her foes with the sharp claws restin' in her big-ass paws, each several inches long and capable of tearing through all kinds of armor.

Wiz: To top it off, her tail is extremely strong, able to lift her entire body on its own.

------------

SPECIAL MOVES

Rolling Smash

Delta Kick/Cat Spike

Hell Cat Grapple

Rolling Buckler

-Links to Various Attacks

------------

Wiz: She's undeniably one of the faster Darkstalkers and can get around the battlefield with her unpredictable Rolling Smash, Delta Kicks, and Rolling Buckler.

Boomstick: ♫Felicia, she can really move- Felicia, she's got an attitude-♫

Wiz: Yes, Boomstick, we get it, she's like Sonic.

"Yeesh, Boomstick got a terrible singing voice." Russell said quietly.

"Boomstick, never sing again." Madotsuki commanded.

"Sonic, huh?" Sunny said. "is he here too?"

Wiz: Anyway, as a Darkstalker, Felicia has a natural affinity for magic, able to use it in the form of her only ranged attack: kicking sand.

Boomstick: At least she's litterbox trained.

Wiz: As she was raised by a nun, even becoming one herself, she has little to no combat training, preferring to focus on her singing career and running an orphanage. As such, she relies on her lethal, feral instincts in a fight.

Boomstick: But these same instincts also lead her to be easily distracted by ferocious enemies, like butterflies, rogue balls of yarn, and paper... that crinkles.

"She is a cat!" Madotsuki chuckled.

Wiz: The other Darkstalkers consider Felicia to be one of the weakest of their kind, but with the help from her friends, she somehow manages to hold her own against demon lords, spell casters, and all-powerful aliens.

Boomstick: This is one cat you don't want to cross.

[Felicia: I sure could use a catnap.

Felicia then turns into her cat form.]

"Huh, they didn't mention she can transform into a real cat." Charlotte noted.

------------

End of Felicia's Analysis

------------

TAOKAKA

------------

Boomstick: That chick wearing a cat hoodie?

Wiz: No, that's a special cloak to fit her Kaka body.

Boomstick: Her... what body?

"What is she under that cloak?" Russell asked.

"Why does she need to hide her body?" Allen asked.

Wiz: Taokaka is a vigilante of the Kaka tribe, a catlike people descended from genetically engineered living weapons. Her genetics provide her with a natural fighting instinct.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 93 lbs.

Descended from Genetically Engineered Weapons

Guardian and Vigilante

Incredibly Stupid

------------

Wiz: She is the guardian of the Kaka, implying that she is the best fighter of the group.

Boomstick: While she may be a good fighter, she is one dumb cat.

Wiz: Unfortunately, Tao has an incredibly severe case of ADHD. While she hunts bounties intent on improving her fighting skill and bringing money to her family, she often winds up completely forgetting about her mission at the worst of times, often even befriending her would-be targets.

"That's simply..... naive of her." Charlotte commented.

"Surprised she isn't dead yet. She's probably too nice to attack." Madotsuki stated.

"I mean, she's probably too dangerous, but not easy to tick off." Russell stated.

-------------

COMBAT

A Total of 12 Retractable Razor-Sharp Blades

Speed-Based Combos

Expert Air Control

'Dancing Edge Drive' Is Extremely Fast

------------

Boomstick: She has three retractable dual-edged blades on her hands and feet. While they're not very long, they can transform from basic claws to hook-scythes and saw-blades. Damn, I don't even want to think what those things would do to my couch.

Sunny shivers. "One is enough, one with sharper claws would be terrifying." Madotsuki and Charlotte laughs.

------------

SEITHR

Uses Instinctively

Uses for Special Attacks

3 Powerful, Fast Distortion Drives

Astral Heat

Limited Amount Available

-------------

Wiz: Tao's genes allow her to instinctively access and utilize Seithr, a raw, powerful energy seething through the air. Tao can use Seithr to empower and transform her claws, as well as to execute incredibly vicious attacks. However, there is only so much Seithr in a given space, and once she runs out, Tao will lose many of her deadliest attributes.

Boomstick: Also, apparently Tao likes to carry around a lot of random shit, which she then uses as projectiles during a fight: bowling balls, apple cores, pillo— a pillow? Really!?

"Really?" Russell said in confusion.

"Just throw it hard enough!" Allen jokingly said.

"Just hide a log in there." Sunny jokingly said.

Great, Charlotte has a new fear unlocked.

Wiz: She's the fastest of the BlazBlue cast, darting around the arena with incredibly fast combos. However, she's also the weakest stamina-wise and doesn't have very many defensive options.

Boomstick: But, if you want to kick her ass, you gotta catch her first!

[Taokaka: Aah! It's the boobie lady!]

Sunny laughs. "Haha, you don't need to say that out loud."

"That's quite rude." Goldia said.

------------

End of Taokaka's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomsticl: It's time for a CAT FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

"Tao's pretty fast, and she got razor-sharp claws!" Madotsuki noted. Sunny did a little nod, implying he agrees with Mado's statement.

"Me too." Said Goldia.

"I guess Taokaka's the winner." Allen said.

"Well....... I'll just vote for Felicia." Charlotte said in a sad tone.

"Okay, what is going on with Charlotte?" Sunny thought. He definitely worries for her.

"Welp, I guess Taokaka. 5 to 1. What an almost clean slide. But let's see how it goes." Russell unpauses.

------------

BATTLE

------------

On a wooden bridge, a pink butterfly flies toward Felicia, who is wearing her nun attire and watering plants. Felicia notices it and takes off her robes, then begins following it.

"Dude, did you really have to take it off?" Russell said.

She then leaps at it four times before accidentally bumping into and waking up Taokaka. Felicia jumps back while Taokaka is agitated.

Taokaka: Alright!

FIGHT!

Taokaka charges at Felicia, unleashing a long combo before knocking her into the air, then slamming her into the ground with her hook claws. She charges again when Felicia uses her Rolling Smash to jump onto her attacker, then unleashes a combo of her own. Felicia then knocks Taokaka into the air, jumps upward, and slashes her a few times before grabbing her and throwing her to the ground. Felicia lands and Taokaka attempts to counter, but her attack is blocked, leaving her wide open to Felicia's Delta Kick. Felicia then uses Rolling Smash and moves back and forth, hitting Taokaka repeatedly before she jumps upward and catches Felicia as she gets her claws ready.

Taokaka: Take this!

Taokaka proceeds to stab Felicia multiple times with her Distortion Drive, Imma Beat The Crap Outta You(really?), before Felicia completely reverses it with her Hell Cat Grapple, concluding by throwing Taokaka.

"What a save!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Taokaka: Boing!

Taokaka has her hands on the ground and her tail in the air while Felicia is in her fighting stance as well.

Then the butterfly from before returns, grabbing both of their attention.

"Aw, cats." Madotsuki chuckled.

"Well, that's nice." Allen said.

The two repeatedly leap at it and as the butterfly approaches Felicia, Taokaka slashes it with her claws.

"Uh oh!" Madotsuki exlaimed. "That poor butterfly! Things are about to get serious."

Taokaka: Whoops!

Felicia is upset.

Felicia: No, no, no!

Felicia then lunges at Taokaka, letting out a cat-like roar, and unleashes a combo on her. The two trade combos continue until Taokaka slashes at thin air and forgets where Felicia is. Felicia lands on Taokaka and slashes at her face before knocking her back with a kick. Taokaka gets into a one-legged stance when Felicia uses Rolling Smash.

"What is she doing?" Russell asked.

She catches Felicia off-guard using her Slashy Slashy, knocking her back. Felicia uses Sandsplash, but to no avail, as Taokaka jumps right over it, trapping her in a combo and knocking Felicia into the air. She strikes Felicia multiple times, keeping her in the air, then lands. Taokaka then takes out her claws and jumps upward as she performs her Astral Heat, Attack Meow Pow.

Taokaka: Taokaka boom!

The strike is so devastating that it slices Felicia in half, separating the top and bottom halves of her body. Taokaka is then shown dancing.

KO!

Charlotte sighs.

Taokaka: Nya ha, nya ha, nya ha!

Taokaka then sits down on the ground.

Taokaka: Now I'm bored.

"Oh, you silly cat." Sunny chuckled.

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"Well, that's cool." Russell said.

"Poor Felicia....." Charlotte said in a sad tone.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Felicia just got put down!

------------

CONCLUSION

Felicia

+Has more endurance

=Cat-like fighting instinct

-Has little to no fighting experience

-One of the weakest Darkstalkers

Taokaka

+More faster

+Sharper claws

+Has Seithr

=Cat-like fighting instinct

-Less intelligent

------------

Wiz: This one was very close; based on their move sets, Tao appeared to have a slight speed advantage. Though Felicia had the endurance of a Darkstalker, Tao's superior agility eventually gave her the win.

Boomstick: Not to mention, she's got freakin' razorblades for claws! Felicia just took her final meow.

We cut to the "Taokaka" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Taokaka.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

As the screen fades to black, cinematic starts to play.

"ZEEEEEEUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!"

Sunny recognizes that voiceline. "Is that?!"

The camera reveals different shots of the combatant. Who would be......

Kratos, the God of War.

"Oh damn, Kratos's here!" Sunny said.

"That very angry guy?" Madotsuki asked.

The camera later shows a top of a building, with a cross on top. The lightning strike sheds a light to reveal a silhouette with green flowing eyes and a red cape."

Al Simmons, Hell's Spawn.

Kratos VS Spawn (God of War VS Image Comics)

"Who's Spawn?" Sunny asked.

Russell shrugged. "No clue, but he looks cool."

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Of all the warriors who have entered this arena, none can compete with these two titans of death. Kratos, the Ghost of Sparta who single-handedly annihilated Olympus.

"Single-handedly?!" Allen exclaimed.

Boomstick: And Spawn, who managed to dethrone both Satan and God.

Russell tilted his head. "Huh?"

"D-d-did I hear that right?" Charlotte stuttered.

"That's..... quite a feat." Madotsuki commented.

Sunny had a sudden interest on Spawn. "The God Killer VS the man who brought God and The Devil on their knees. Hm........"

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armors, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

KRATOS

------------

Wiz: Kratos was a young boy training to become a Spartan warrior, along with his brother Deimos.

Boomstick: Until Ares invaded and snatched Deimos and smacked Kratos, leaving him behind.

"That's mean!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Aww, siblings getting separated." Sunny said in a sad tone.

Wiz: Years later, when Kratos and his fellow warriors were being overrun by enemies, Kratos starts yelling to Ares to save himself in a last ditch effort.

[Kratos: ARES! Destroy my enemies, and my life is yours!]

Wiz: It was then he struck a deal with Ares, the God of War. Ares would give him the strength to protect his people; in return, Kratos would serve as Ares' champion warrior.

Boomstick: Kratos became super-powerful and really vicious, but was tricked by Ares into killing his own family.

[A blurry flashback can be seen while Kratos's daughter and wife can be heard screaming while Kratos slashes them with his blades]

"Oh, no......" Madotsuki said in a low, sad tone.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Russell said with a bit of emotion.

"That's too much!" Goldia exclaimed. "First, kidnapping this brother. Now tricking him to kill his daughter and wife?"

Boomstick: But hey, he saved some money on child support and divorce.

"Too much." Sunny said in a deadpan tone.

Wiz: As the white, hot ashes of his family clung permanently to his skin-

Boomstick: Just like Michael Jackson!

"Different circumstances, bro." Madotsuki corrected.

Wiz: -his quest for vengeance against the gods of Olympus began.

-------------

BACKGROUND

Over 6' Ft Tall

A Spartan Warrior

Holds the Rank of Captain

Self Centered Anti-Hero

Superhuman Strength, Speed and Endurance

------------

Wiz: As a demigod, Kratos possesses incredible strength, speed, and endurance. He can survive a pummeling from a Titan and best the power of Hercules.

------------

BLADES OF EXILES

Dual Short Swords

Wielded With Chains

Seared to Arms

Hooked Design

Made from the Remains of the Blade of Athena

------------

Boomstick: Kratos wields the Blades of Exile, twin short swords bound to his arms by chains. The blades have a hook design which Kratos can use to cut right through his enemies, or snag them and whip 'em around. And like most badass weapons, they can somehow emit fire.

Wiz: Kratos is well trained in sword combat and possesses what may be the most powerful sword the Greek gods have to offer - the Blade of Olympus.

------------

BLADE OF OLYMPUS

Can Kill Gods & Titans

Contains God Powers

Fires Blue Energy Waves

About 5 Feet Tall "Goddamn, he can lift?" Madotsuki said in awe.

------------

Boomstick: After Kratos killed Ares...

[Ares: I was trying to make you a great warrior.....

Kratos: You succeeded.

Kratos impales Ares with a sword.]

Boomstick: .....uuhhh, spoiler.

"Deserved." Madotsuki declared.

Boomstick: he was made the God of War. But Zeus tricked him into putting all of his godly powers into this sword, making him mortal once again.

Wiz: And making the Blade of Olympus a deadly harbinger of death to even the toughest Olympians.

------------

GOLDEN FLEECE

Gold Armlet

Blocks Attacks

Deflects Projectile & Magical Attacks

Strong Enough to Counter the Blade of Olympus

------------

Wiz: His most versatile defense is his Golden Fleece, armor capable of blocking powerful blows and deflecting magical attacks.

------------

BOW OF APOLLO

Can Rapid-Fire Arrows

Charged Fire Arrows

Does Not Drain Kratos' Fire Limit

Quick with a Long Range

------------

Boomstick: But there's a whole lot more to this guy's arsenal, like the Bow of Apollo, which can shoot a rapid stream of arrows or charge up deadly fire arrows.

------------

CLAWS OF HADES

Used like Blades of Exiles

Spiked Chains & Hooks

Rips Souls from Victims

Can be Resisted

Can Summon Souls

------------

Wiz: Then there's the Claws of Hades, which mercilessly rip the souls out of their victims, though tough opponents like Kratos can resist them.

------------

NEMEAN CESTUS

Giant Metal Gauntlets

Lion-like Appearance

Originally Owned by Hercules

Incredibly Strong

Can Create Shockwaves which Stun Foes

------------

Boomstick: The Nemean Cestus are giant ultra-strong gauntlets which can stun foes with brutal shockwaves.

------------

BOOTS OF HERMES

Greaves with Small Wings

Improved Running Speed

Can Run Up Walls

------------

Wiz: The Boots of Hermes give him superhuman speed-

------------

ICARUS WINGS

Can Glide & Fly

Huge 18' Wingspan

Slowly Falls Apart during Flight

Ripped from Icarus' Back

-----------

Wiz: nd when battling the infamous Icarus, he ripped those huge wings off the old fool's back and took them for his own, giving him powers of flight.

Boomstick: Holy crap, that's a lot of weapons! I like this guy!

"Quite the versatility!" Goldia exlaimed.

"But it might be enough." Madotsuki noted.

Wiz: Kratos is not invincible, but he is very difficult to kill.

Boomstick: Hell, he can't even kill himself!

Wiz: In his rage, he tore apart the ranks of Mount Olympus and slaughtered every god upon and below it... except for Aphrodite.

Boomstick: For obvious reasons!

Wiz: In doing so, he ultimately brought about the end of the world. Without the power of the gods to keep the chaos in check, the apocalypse had arrived, and its vanguard was Kratos.

[Kratos: ZEEEEEEUUUUUUSSSSS! Is this how you face me, coward!]

Russell get into an annoyed state. "He's VERY loud."

Sunny nods. "Tell me about it."

Boomstick: Hey, whatever happened to Deimos?

Wiz: They did reunited. Until they fought Thanatos who would crush Deimos on a cliffside, taking his life.

Boomstick: Oh.

"Aww!" Madotsuki said in a sad tone.

"That sucks." Russell feels sympathy.

------------

End of Kratos' Analysis

------------

SPAWN

------------

Wiz: Al Simmons was trained to be a deadly, stealthy soldier and assassin, and proved numerous times he was the best of the best. But, when his morality got the better of him, his boss terminated his contract... permanently.

Boomstick: I think you mean....... fired.

[Al Simmons starts screaming as he was set on fire.]

"Dear heavens!" Goldia exlaimed.

Charlotte gasps. "Yikes!"

Russell winced. "Ah. That hurts." For some reason, he felt he had seen this before.

Wiz: Sure, let's go with that.

Boomstick: C'mon, Wiz! Anyway, that's when Simmons met Malebolgia, one of the Demon Lords of Hell, who struck a deal with him: He'd get to see his wife again if he became captain of Hell's armies. He agreed and was reborn as a Hellspawn. But as with most demons, it tricked him, leaving Spawn with a fate worse than death. And of course, Spawn swore revenge!

"How unfortunate." Charlotte feels sympathy.

"Woah, they look ugly." Russell commented.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 450 lbs.

Superhuman Strength, Speed & Durability

Composed of Necroplasm

Regeneration Healing

------------

Wiz: Being a Hellspawn, he has superhuman strength and speed. He is nearly invulnerable and can use his own powers to heal and regenerate.

Boomstick: In addition, Spawn can feed or draw from the evil auras of others for the same effect. It really saves him on Band-Aids!

------------

LEETHA OF THE 7TH HOUSE OF K

Symbiotic Suit

Limited by Imagination

Can Create Chains, Spikes, Claws, Shrouds, etc.

Has a Mind of It's Own

Feeds Off Necroplasm or Natural Evil Energies

------------

Wiz: He wears a living parasitic-symbiotic suit named Leetha of the 7th House of K.

Boomstick: Leetha has ridiculous powers. Basically, anything she or Spawn wants to happen can happen. The suit can create and control chains, claws, spikes, and morph itself into pretty much anything Spawn wants, like a badass cape that can trap enemies and protect Spawn from all sorts of danger.

Wiz: The suit has a mind of its own, and can operate while Spawn focuses on other parts of the battle. It's strong enough to easily smash through brick, and fast enough to block bullets. However, Leetha feeds off necroplasm energy when using the suit's powers, a hellish matter which Spawn is entirely composed of. If Leetha uses too much, Spawn will be sent back to Hell. However, like Spawn, Leetha can also feed off the evil and sin of others.

"Hmm, it's based of sin." Russell noted.

"Let me tell you, I think this might be a problem for Kratos." Sunny noted.

"His limited energy source might be a problem." Charlotte noted. (Damn, so many notes)

------------

MAGIC

Can Alter Matter

Communicate with Animals Charlotte gets interest.

Flight & Teleportation

Necroplasm Projection

Healing the Sick & Resurrecting the Dead

Elemental Powers

------------

Boomstick: Spawn's also got tons of magic powers. He can teleport, transform, blow things up, turn invisible, alter matter, talk to animals, fly with his cape, read minds, and open portals to Heaven and Hell. Ho-oly crap!

"That's a LOT of powers!" Madotsuki said.

Wiz: And he can control the elements, often using fire and water to defeat swarms of enemies. However, even with all these godlike abilities, Spawn usually resorts to his most primitive weapon.

Sunny tilted his head. "Holy, that's a big gun."

------------

EXPERT MARKSMAN

Weapon of Choice

Least Effective Weapons

Skilled with All Types

------------

Wiz: As he was trained in Special Forces for so long, Spawn is most comfortable using a gun. He's an expert in the use of nearly any firearm imaginable.

------------

SPECIFIC WEAKNESSES

Magic Necroplasm

Holy Weapons Forged in Heaven

Has Dwindling Amount of Necroplasm

Can Only Die Through Beheading

------------

Boomstick: Only two things can break through Spawn's defenses and hurt him: Necro-magic and holy weapons forged in Heaven. In addition, he can only die if he's beheaded.

Wiz: Spawn's fought and killed all sorts of powerful enemies - assassins, cyborgs, vampires, ghosts, Angels, Demons, other Hellspawn, rampaging deities, even Satan and God. Yes, that old lady is the God.

Russell puts his hand on his face. "Really?"

Allen puts his hand on Russell's shoulder. "Just go with it."

Boomstick: Really? God looks like my nana... Am I a demigod?

Wiz: And after being granted unlimited power from the Mother of all things, Spawn banished God and Satan from the Earth, which he wiped clean and rebuilt in his own image. He then willingly sacrificed his own God powers and eventually returned to his Hellspawn form.

"Just, how?" Goldia asked.

"Why would he give it up?" Madotsuki asked.

Boomstick: Oh, why the hell would he do that? He must've been really bored!

[Spawn: There's still a man under all that shit?

Robocop: Bad language makes for bad feelings.

Spawn: Perfect, you're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.]

Sunny laughs. "Was that Robocop?"

Russell remembered. "Oh wait! He was a guest fighter in Mortal Kombat."

"Oh shit, he was?" Madotsuki asked.

------------

End of Spawn's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

"Well, Kratos got the weapons, not gonna lie. But Spawn's abilities seem insane." Madotsuki votes for Spawn!

"I'll go for Kratos." Sunny votes for Kratos!

"Spawn's pretty powerful, though." Charlotte declared.

"Well, I guess Kratos it is." Allen said.

"Sure, let's go for him." Goldia votes for Kratos.

"I vote Spawn." Russell votes for Spawn! '3 to 3, half sided numbers! Let's go."

------------

BATTLE

------------

In an ancient underground palace lit by torchlight, Kratos marches up a staircase before turning around to see Spawn appear in a flash of green flame behind him, whipping out his Blades of Exile.

FIGHT

Spawn doesn't move a muscle as Leetha summons several chains to attack Kratos, which he blocks and slices through for a few moments. Eventually, Spawn pulls a large gun and starts shooting Kratos, who defends himself by crossing the Blades in front of him.

"A freaking gun!" Sunny exclaimed.

He quickly swipes a Blade to disarm Spawn, but misses his next swing as Spawn teleports behind him, landing a blow before getting stabbed by a Blade. He is dragged forward only to be kicked back by Kratos.

Spawn lands at the foot of the stairs and barely dodges a leaping attack by Kratos. He follows Spawn into the next room, but doesn't see his opponent.

Spawn lowers his invisibility and leaps from the wall he was hanging on to kick at Kratos. Spawn's punches send Kratos airborne, then uses his teleportation and speed to deliver more blows to get Kratos flying.

Flying quickly, Spawn sees Kratos at the foot of another staircase and hurls a ball of energy at Kratos, which he sends back at Spawn. Kratos hooks Spawn and brings him down the stairs, then uses his Nemean Cestus to knock Spawn into the next room.

The blow's force pushes Spawn to the edge of a gap between two sections, which he floats over as Kratos reaches him, laughing and shooting more energy blasts at Kratos. He deflects them away with the Golden Fleece before summoning the Icarus Wings and tackling Spawn to the other side. While Kratos hangs on the ledge, Spawn leaps up and prepares to deliver a blow.

Spawn: You're pissing me off.

"Hahaha, that man's language is something." Sunny chuckled.

The two land safely at the bottom, Kratos pulling out the Bow of Apollo and shooting arrows at Spawn behind the defense of his cape, finally charging up the next arrow. Spawn uses his elemental control to make the flame engulf Kratos, then launches a necroplasm grenade in the fire, exploding in bursts of smoke.

"Aww, did we win?" Madotsuki gets her hopes up.

Kratos, however, jumps from the blaze with the Blade of Olympus in hand, nearly striking the teleporting Spawn, then easily cutting through Leetha's chains and stabbing Spawn through the chest.

"Oh no!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Oh yes!" Sunny exclaimed.

He remains still for a moment before teleporting off the Blade, behind Kratos, and holding him in the air by his head, draining his evil energy in a flash of green.

Spawn: DIE!

Spawn then creates a large spike in his hand through Kratos' head, killing the Ghost of Sparta.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"No!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Oh damn." Madotsuki said in a deadpan tone.

"Better luck next time, I suppose." Allen sighed.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Ohhh, man! Here comes the rage from the God of War fanboys!

"Neyahhhh...." Sunny grunted.

------------

CONCLUSION

Kratos

+More versatile

+More experienced in combat

-Weapons could not exactly kill Spawn

SPAWN

+has many powerful abilities

+More durable

+Can feed off Kratos' past sins

------------

Wiz: Kratos is a very difficult one to beat, but Spawn's magical prowess and near-indestructible body proved too much for him.

Boomstick: Yeah, normally, that last attack would've meant the end for his opponent, but not Spawn!

Wiz: And while much of Kratos' arsenal were forged by Olympians, Olympus is composed of Earthly elements, and is not another plane of existence like Heaven, so it stands to reason none of the Olympian weapons could kill Spawn.

Boomstick: Except the Blade of Olympus, but it wasn't enough.

Wiz: Plus, Spawn and his suit had plenty of evil energy to feed on during the fight, since Kratos is literally covered in his past sins.

Boomstick: Well, that was one Hell of a fight!

"Basic, but not bad." Sunny commented.

We cut to the "Spawn" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Spawn.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

Slayer of Dragons

Explosion Extraordinaire

The screen showed pictures of the two combatants........

Bomberman VS Dig Dug

"What the hell?" Russell said in a confused tone.

"Well I'll be! It's the goddamn arcade classics!" Madotsuki said.

"Uh, why?" Sunny asked.

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Today, two experts of destruction and masters of terrain will fight to the bitter end.

Boomstick: White Bomber, the Bomberman.

Wiz: And Taizo Hori, aka Dig Dug.

Russell tilted his head. "Alright, this is..... *sigh* interesting."

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our jobs to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

BOMBERMAN

------------

Boomstick: Bomberman is a psychopathic cyborg slave forced to duel other slaves to the death in dimly-lit maze-like arenas for the entertainment of alien terrorists.

"What the hell?" Russell becomes confused.

"Oh, Act: Zero." Sunny recalls. "That was a strange game."

"What was their direction during the development of that game?" Charlotte asked.

------------

BACKGROUND

Alien Robot Warrior

Can Generate Bombs

Defender of the Galaxy

Uses Explosives to Save Helpless Planets

Young and Naive

------------

Wiz: No, no, not that Bomberman, Boomstick. White Bomber, the Bomberman, an alien robot warrior from the planet Bomber who belongs to an intergalactic police force protecting the galaxy.

"That guy's a policeman?" Madotsuki asked.

"Huh, had no idea these guys had a story." Sunny said.

"I mean, I wouldn't know since I'm not really interested in these games." Russell said.

Boomstick: Oh. Well, his method of saving those planets is blowing the shit out of them, so he's alright with me.

Wiz: Right! Bomberman cares little for the environment he is supposedly protecting, making him an unpredictable opponent.

"How careless...." Goldia said in a disappointing tone.

"What works, works, right?" Russell said sarcastically.

Boomstick: Bomberman's answer to every problem is... explosions! Got a locked door? Blow it up! Behind on taxes? Blow them up! Have a naggy wife? Blow her ass up, too!

"How is this guy even walking free?" Charlotte gets concerned.

"Do not let this idiot solve your problems." Sunny declared.

------------

BOMBS

2 to 3 Second Detonation

Cannot Be Defused

Upgradable

Can Be Kicked & Thrown

Can Be Powered Up by Being Held

------------

Boomstick: His arsenal consists of bombs, bombs, and more bombs, which usually take about two or three seconds to detonate. And while the explosions start off small, they can be upgraded to destroy an entire acre all at once. Plus, he can charge a bomb up to over four times its size for maximum destruction.

------------

POWER-UPS

Accelerator

Armor

Explosion Expander

Bomb Kick

Power Glove

------------

Wiz: While blasting his way through planet after planet, Bomberman finds numerous power-ups buried beneath the earth. Bomb Up gives him extra bombs, Accelerator increases his running speed, Armor gives him temporary immunity, the Explosion Expander gives his bombs a power boost, and Bomb Kick and Power Glove let him kick and throw bombs at his own leisure.

Boomstick: And when he picks up Super Bombs, you know he means business. I'm talkin' T2: Judgement Day business.

"This guy is a policeman, yet all he does is just spreading destruction everywhere." Allen whined.

Sunny sighs. "Don't you hate it when someone does whatever the hell they want because they have authority?"

------------

ROOEYS

Easily Tamed

Super Speed

High Jumps

Can Step Over Bombs

Sometimes Called Looeys or Louies

And The Pink Ones Dance!

------------

Wiz: Bomberman can also hatch and tame wild Rooeys, kangaroo-like creatures which give White Bomber a distinct advantage in battle.

Boomstick: Each Rooey has a different ability, though generally they are very fast, have incredibly good jumping skills, can step over bombs, and sacrifice themselves for Bomberman if need be.

"Kind of like Yoshi!" Madotsuki chuckled.

Boomstick: Kind of like Yoshi.

"I just said that!"

Wiz: Which brings up Bomberman's weakness: his own weapons. If White Bomber's careless, he can easily get caught in his own explosion or trap himself between a wall and his dropped bombs.

Boomstick: Yeah, Bomberman's pretty good at blowing shit up, but he's not so hot when it comes to defusing his own explosives, but he's survived through a crap-ton of games, leaving behind many smoldering piles of rubble that used to be planets, towns, and families.

[Bomberman: I did it!]

"Oh boy, that kid better be fired." Sunny said.

"Oh dear, how many lives were perished cause of this kid?" Goldia asked in a concerned tone.

------------

End of Bomberman's Analysis

------------

DIG DUG

------------

Wiz: Dig Dug is an expert excavator and executioner. He consistently traverses the underground to slay dragons.

------------

BACKGROUND

Real Name: Taizo Hori

Honorary Chairman of the Driller Council

Father of Mr. Driller

Ex-Husband of "Kissy" from Baraduke AKA Alien Sector

------------

His real name is Taizo Hori, which literally means "I want to dig". He is also the father of the more recent phenomenon, Mr. Driller.

Boomstick: Dig Dug has two loves in life: diggin' and killin'.

------------

PUMP

15' Harpoon-Like Hose

Forcefully Inflates Foes Charlotte widens her eyes. "What?"

Stuns Enemies for a Short Time

Injects 10 psi Per Pump

Pumped Until the Victim Explodes Russell did a double take. "Excuse me?'

------------

Boomstick: His main weapon is one of the most cruel and deadly weapons I've ever seen. It's pretty much a cross between a bike pump and a harpoon.

Wiz: An odd weapon, which I would normally question the efficiency of...

Boomstick: But when he stabs you with it, you're gonna wish you die any other way than what Mr. Dig Dug has planned for you.

Wiz: The average human body can only take around 15 pounds per square inch of air pressure before death is assured. Every time Dig Dug pumps, over 10 PSI is injected into his victim, quickly immobilizing them. Two or three pumps later, Dig Dug's target combusts.

Everyone except Russell begins to gross out while some almost had the urge to vomit.

"Oh lord......." Madotsuki covers her mouth.

"Okay, that's actually terrible!" Sunny looks away.

"Aaahhh, that's just horrible!" Goldia exclaimed.

"These games, can't be that bad." Allen said.

Charlotte had to leave the room incase of vomiting.

"Okay, that's actually gruesome." Russell said so casually.

[2 minutes later]

Charlotte re-enters the room.

"You okay, Charlotte?" Madotsuki asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Charlotte said with low energy.

"Alright, let's continue." Russell unpauses.

Boomstick: That is one horrible way to die! Imagine after being impaled, you're then slowly filled with air until you explode. Oh man, this guy is sick!

"We get it!" Charlotte exclaimed. "You don't need to give us that imagery!"

Madotsuki covers her mouth again. "Dude, I did not needed to imagine that."

------------

JACKHAMMER

Burrows in 4 Directions

Instant Startup

Fast & Sufficient

Can Tear Apart Islands

-----------

Wiz: Dig Dug also has a jackhammer, which he uses to burrow through the earth at an unimaginable speed. He has total control over his terrain and can maneuver through the ground just as easily as walking through an empty field, climbing and crawling without slowing down.

Boomstick: That jackhammer can even force entire islands to split apart.

[Gameplay footage demonstrates this ability.]

Russell tilted his head. "This guy. This guy surpasses Akuma's Island Destroying Move so easily?"

Boomstick: But the strangest thing is the sound it makes. You'd think a jackhammer would sound like this:

A jackhammer sound is played.

Boomstick: But Dig Dug's sounds like this:

Dig Dug's walking sound effect is played.

Wiz: Actually, Boomstick, that sound seems to occur each time he takes a step, not just when he's drilling.

Boomstick: So... what? It's his feet? Man, that would get really annoying. No wonder this guy is a psycho.

Sunny chuckles. "Dude, I don't think even Russell would go that crazy if his feet sound like that."

Russell stares at Sunny. "What..... are you implying?"

"Uh, nothing!'

Wiz: Dig Dug possesses great physical endurance, climbing and digging tirelessly for unprecedented amounts of time, and yet he is easily defeated when tackled by a tomato with eyes.

Boomstick: What?

Wiz: Yes, Dig Dug battles both ferocious dragons and living tomatoes.

Boomstick: Who in the hell thought walking tomatoes with goggles were on-par with fire-breathing ghost dragons?

"Video game logic." Madotsuki stated.

[Dig Dug pumps up a dragon three times.

The Dragon explodes.

The Dig Dug level complete jingle plays.]

"Such happy music playing over a massacre." Russell said.

"Come on, not again." Madotsuki complained.

"You know we're going to see that again when Dig Dug wins, right?" Sunny reminding Madotsuki.

"Oh....."

------------

End of Dig Dug's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bomberman's bombs gets dropped and the video explodes, the screen went to static.

The Death Battle transition card closes]

------------

"Bomberman's destructive but Dig Dug can move pretty easily." Madotsuki noted.

"True." Sunny & Charlotte said.

"I agree!" Goldia exclaimed.

"Bomberman for me? I guess." Allen declared.

"Dig Dug for me." Russell declared. "5 to 1, who wins. Let's find out!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Bomberman is riding a Rooey across Dig Dug's field when they suddenly cross Dig Dug.

FIGHT!

Dig Dug fires his harpoon, which the Rooey gets out of the way of, then it dashes into Dig Dug six times. After the last hit, Dig Dug sees a bomb dropped by Bomberman and quickly burrows into the ground. The explosion destroys a block and reveals an Explosion Expander, which Bomberman goes for. Dig Dug sneaks up underneath Bomberman, stabbing his harpoon into the Rooey. After four pumps, the Rooey explodes, leaving Bomberman on the ground.

"Nooooo, that poor Rooey." Charlotte whimpered.

"That guy's pretty sick." Sunny commented.

Dig Dug then quickly gets up, lifts up a bomb, charges it twice, then drops it into the hole. Dig Dug sees it and runs away once again. The explosion destroys more blocks, revealing four power-ups: Accelerator, Explosion Expander, Bomb-Up, and Bomb Kick. Bomberman walks over and picks all four of them up before following Dig Dug's trail and kicking a bomb in his direction.

Dig Dug turns around and uses his harpoon to deflect it. Bomberman then kicks it and plays bomb soccer with Dig Dug, with the cycle continuing until Bomberman throws another bomb. Both flee as both bombs create huge plus-shaped explosions, destroying many blocks, underneath them the Super Bomb, which Bomberman grabs. Dig Dug continues fleeing, digging his way upward towards the surface as Bomberman holds the Super Bomb in his hand, charging it to four times its size, before throwing it. The explosion from it is so great that Dig Dug, who nearly made it, is in the air with no blocks around him, causing him to fall down in front of Bomberman, who has another Super Bomb for him.

"Uh oh, he has nowhere to run!" Allen commented on the situation.

As Bomberman charges it twice, Dig Dug quickly fires his harpoon at Bomberman, causing him to drop the Super Bomb, then pumps him twice before digging underneath to escape the inevitable explosion. Bomberman slowly recovers, then turns to see his Super Bomb about to go off. His eyes turn large and cartoonish as he lets out a scream before the Super Bomb explodes, leaving a huge hole in the ground. Dig Dug then looks over at the newly made hole, seeing that his opponent was obliterated by his own weapon.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

Sunny begins laughing. "Okay, that was hilarious."

Madotsuki sighs in relief. "At least he didn't pum-"

"Mado, please." Charlotte interrupts.

------------

CONCLUSION

Bomberman

+Destructive & ranged bombs

+Has power-ups that can be gained during battle

-Relies on his bombs and power-ups way too much

-Bombs can easily be avoided in a quick time

- Vulnerable to his bombs

- Could accidentaly explode himself

Dig Dug

+Can easily maneuver wherever

+Can quickly fires his harpoon

-Not the best durability

------------

Boomstick: Yeah, explosions!

Wiz: Dig Dug is a difficult opponent for anyone to beat, not for brute strength but maneuverability. Dig Dug had complete control over the terrain right off the bat, while Bomberman was forced to rely on his power-ups for success.

Boomstick: Taking the fight into the ground gave Dig Dug a huge advantage.

Wiz: Even after if it looked like Bomberman took the lead, Dig Dug proved he could control his opponent just as much as he can control his environment.

Boomstick: Bomberman sure went out with a bang.

"Eh." Sunny gives a 5/10.

We cut to the "Dig Dug" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Dig Dug.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

Announcer: Watch out for this next opponent. Cause this guy calls himself the prince of all-

???: Saiyans.

Sunny immediately recognizes that voice. "Vegeta?!"

Vegata, the Prince of all Saiyans.

Vegata screams as he transforms into his Super Saiyan form.

"That's neat!" Madotsuki said.

Russell nods his head. "Dragon Ball should be neat."

"Is that the guy where Goku's from?" Charlotte asked.

Announcer: But who is this prideful prince fighting against?

???: Chaos..... CONTROL!

"Shadow?!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

The camera reveals Shadow in his Super Shadow form.

Shadow, the Ultimate Life Form

"Oh hey! It's that guy from those Sonic games." Allen recalled.

Vegeta: Hahaha, this is the Ultimate Life Form?

Shadow begins to charge to Vegeta before the video cuts to the thumbnail of the next Death Battle.

Vegeta VS Shadow (Dragon Ball VS Sonic)

"Oooooooh, this should be interesting." Madotsuki gets hype for the next battle.

"I'm down!" Sunny also gets interested.

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Anti-heroes, walking a mysterious gray line between good and evil.

Boomstick: They do what they want, however they want, when they want.

Wiz: Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans and rival to Goku.

Boomstick: And Shadow, the Ultimate Lifeform and rival to Sonic. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armors and skills to find out who would win.... a Death Battle.

------------

VEGETA

------------

Wiz: Born a prince to the warrior-like Saiyan race, Vegeta's people were slaughtered by an evil tyrant named Frieza, who molded Vegeta into a deadly, ruthless killer.

"That's sad." Charlotte said.

"Thank goodness, Goku beat the shit out of him!" Madotsuki smiled.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 123 lbs.

Saiyan Prince

Elite Warrior Class

Trained in Martial Arts

Current Leader of The Z-Fighters

Likes: Bulma, Trunks, Being The Prince of All Saiyans

Dislikes: Being Inferior, Anyone Hurting His Family

------------

Wiz: Over time, however, Frieza's iron grip over him led Vegeta to rebel, ushering Frieza's final defeat with the help of fellow Saiyan Goku. After struggling with adapting to life on Earth, Vegeta eventually became one of the planet's strongest defenders.

"That's nice." Goldia smiled.

Boomstick: He even got hitched to Bulma, breaking poor Master Roshi's heart. Vegeta can move and fly at hypersonic speed. He can survive underwater and in far outer atmospheres for long periods of time. He even has the endurance to survive a nuclear freakin' blast.

"We're not even a minute in and he's already impressive!" Charlotte said in awe.

Wiz: Vegeta can use a natural inner energy called ki to create devastating attacks.

------------

KI ATTACKS

Galick Gun

Big Bang Attack

Bang Beam

Final Shine

Energy Bullet Volley

Final Flash

------------

Boomstick: His trademark attack is a purple laser called the Galick Gun.

Wiz: His Big Bang Attack unleashes a huge explosion of energy covering a vast distance, and can be narrowed to a beam for concentrated accuracy.

Boomstick: He can launch a volley of energy bullets, pounding his foe with dozens of deadly blasts, but his most devastating move is his Final Flash attack, a huge golden beam that can destroy whole planets.

Jaws were dropped at the very impressive feat.

"That's the most destructive we have gotten so far!" Charlotte gets flabbergasted.

"Impressive." Allen commented.

"And this is just casual for DB characters." Sunny chuckled.

Wiz: Vegeta's ki is quite versatile and not limited to these four attacks. He is never without a weapon.

Boomstick: But wait, there's more!

"There's more to this?" Goldia asked. His other moves were already destructive enough, how could there be more?

Madotsuki does a little laugh. "Super Saiyan."

------------

SUPER SAIYAN

Can Reach Levels 1 and 2

500% Increase Each Form "More?" Allen said. "He isn't already powerful enough?"

Can Be Activated Anytime

Sustained Through Energy

Nearly Indestructible

Level 2 Drains More than Level 1

------------

Wiz: That's right! Vegeta can reach to the legendary status of Super Saiyan, a near indestructible form which increases his power output by 500%.

Boomstick: And he can take this form to the next level for yet another 500% increase. That's a lot of power in math.

Wiz: The Super Saiyan form is sustained through Vegeta's remaining energy. Also, despite reaching the level of Super Saiyan 4, he was only able to do so with Bulma's Blutz Wave Machine, and cannot do so naturally.

Boomstick: And in Death Battle, we don't allow help from spouses.

Wiz: Vegeta is cocky, arrogant, and proud. He seeks to be the best and is willing to fight the best to do so, even allowing his opponents to reach power levels much greater than his own.

"Definitely a big problem." Charlotte noted.

Sunny laughs. "I watched Dragon Ball. It's definitely a HUGE problem."

Boomstick: While this has led to him dying twice so far, he's still around somehow kicking ass and being a dick.

Goldia gets confused. "Twice?"

"There's these things called Dragon Balls (the name of the show) that can grant anyone who collected all of them to wish whatever they want." Madotsuki informed Goldia.

"I see."

[Vegeta charges up his Galaxy Breaker and launches it to a helpless Nappa.

Nappa: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! NO! NO, VEGETA!!!!

Vegeta laughs maniacally as he watches Nappa getting incenerated from the blast while he screams.

Nappa screams until he succumbs and gets obliterated while the surrounding land gets destroyed.]

"Let's add him to the list of "Never pissed 'em off" list!" Russell joked.

"That poor man." Charlotte feels bad for Nappa.

"Oh, trust me. I'm sure he deserved it." Madotsuki informed Charlotte.

------------

End of Vegeta's Analysis

------------

SHADOW

------------

Wiz: Built by Professor Gerald Robotnik with alien DNA, Shadow the Hedgehog was created to be the Ultimate Lifeform. Despite being a powerful, living weapon, Shadow's initial purpose was to provide genes capable of curing the deathly ill, specifically, Gerald's granddaughter, Maria. But before Shadow could be shared with the world, tragedy struck. Soldiers from the coincidentally named G.U.N, invaded the laboratory to capture Shadow and........

[A gun shot can be heard, later, Shadow screams for Maria's name.]

Wiz: Let's just say Maria didn't make it out.

Goldia gasps. "That poor girl!"

Charlotte frowned. "Why would they do that? She didn't posed a single threat!"

Boomstick: Then Shadow went crazy and tried to destroy the Earth for revenge, but he ended up saving the day instead.

"Oh. At least he changed his ways." Allen was reliefed.

Boomstick: Though people are still getting sick on Earth, so uhh, guess he kinda forgot about that whole living cure thing, huh?

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 3'3"

Weight: 77 lbs.

Bio-Engineered Ultimate Lifeform

Nearly Indestructible

Hypersonic Speed

Martial Arts Skills

Likes: Maria, Kill la kill, Latinas

Dislikes: Guns, Sonic(?)

------------

Wiz: Shadow can move at hypersonic speeds and survive underwater and in space.

Boomstick: He's even tough enough to survive a fall to the Earth from the Moon, and that's one long ass fall.

"Really?" Allen was surprised.

Wiz: Well, it wasn't exactly the Moon, but Shadow survived a fall of about 200,000 miles. By the time he hit the ground, he was falling at a rate of over 6,000,000 feet per second.

"I mean, that's still impressive on its own." Goldia commented."

Boomstick: I feel sorry for whatever was around when he landed. Some guy just walking along and... (indistinctly) OH MY GOD!

Some laughs were made.

------------

CHAOS FORCE

Chaos Control

Chaos Spear

Chaos Blast

Other Energy-Based Attacks

Can Be Used to Defend, Heal, Warp and Fly

------------

Wiz: Right. Shadow possesses a natural link to the Chaos Force, a never-ending pool of unbelievable energy.

Boomstick: He can fire several different energy based projectiles like Chaos Spears and Beams. But his most powerful attack is Chaos Blast, a huge explosion which annihilates everything around him in seconds.

Wiz: He can also manipulate time and space with Chaos Control, though depending on the situation, using this technique to its fullest takes time and is impractical in combat.

------------

INHIBITOR RINGS

Restricts Chaos Power

Maintains Precision Control

When Removed, His Power Increases Exponentionally

When Removed, His Stamina Drains Quickly

------------

Wiz: Also, Shadow wears two Inhibitor Rings, which restrict his access to the Chaos Force to maintain control. Should he remove them, his power increases immensely, but is somewhat uncontrollable and quickly tires him out.

"Yikes, with that power, could you imagine the destruction he will cause if those rings were removed?" Charlotte noted.

Boomstick: His Chaos power also increases depending on the number of Chaos Emeralds he has, and when he gets seven of them, ha, he goes super.

[Shadow and Sonic screams as they tranforms as their Super Forms with having yellow aura and having their hedgehog hair turned yellow.]

Madotsuki nods. "So cool....">

------------

SUPER FORM

1000% Power Increase

Automatic Flight

Unlimited Endurance

Invincible

Duration Based On a Time Limit

------------

Wiz: Super Shadow is the pinnacle of his powers, receiving a 1,000% increase.

Boomstick: He can fly, move near the speed of light, and is totally invincible.

"Very cool!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Madotsuki chuckles. "I know, right?"

Wiz: Despite this, Shadow's super form can only last a few minutes.

"Oh so, Shadow pretty much needs to be fast then." Allen noted.

Boomstick: But, considering his super speed, a short time to him is a long time to his opponents.

[Sonic: Check out this funny "gif" I found.

Shadow: It's pronounced 'jif". The creator said so.

Sonic: That's stupid!

Shadow: So you pronounced other words like, "gentle", "gym", "geometry", "giant", "giraf-"

Sonic: OKAY I GET IT! Jeez.]

The audience laugh at the humorous scene.

------------

End of Shadow's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boomstick out of nowhere tranforms into his Super Saiyan.

Wiz: What the!? Boomstick, when did you achieve this form?

The Death Battle transition card closes.

------------

PLACE YOUR BETS

VEGETA OR SHADOW?

Sunny raised his hand. "Shadow may have the abilities that would kick Vegeta's ass, but I'm sure he could survive that."

Madotsuki puts her hand on Sunny's shoulder. "I agree with you!"

Allen crosses his arms. "I don't know, I don't think Vegeta can last until his Super Form runs out."

"That's true." Charlotte and Goldia agreed.

"Alright! I vote for Vegeta. 3 to 3!" Russell declared. "Let's see who wins!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Shadow is skating from his air shoes in a green field. He then stops in front of Vegeta, whose back is turned.

Shadow: There you are! I knew I sensed an extraordinary power around here.

Vegeta: Well, that certainly sounds like me. Um... who and what are you?

Shadow: I am Shadow the Hedgehog; the Ultimate Lifeform!

Vegeta: Ultimate Lifeform? A weird-looking rat is an Ultimate Lifeform? HAHAHAHA! That's a laugh. Word of advice, freak: you're a little on the short side to try to be threatening.

"Well there's his ego." Sunny sighed.

Shadow: Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you.

Vegeta: ...You've just sealed your fate, fool.

FIGHT!

Shadow launches a kick at Vegeta, but the latter catches the former's feet and kicks him off. Vegeta then charges a blast of purple ki energy in his hands before blasting it at Shadow.

Vegeta: GALICK GUN, FIRE!!

After being hit by a strong attack, Shadow's still standing from the blast, exhaustingly.

Vegeta: Pathetic. Before you die, let me show you a TRUE Ultimate Lifeform!

Vegeta powers up immensely, aura surrounding him, and his dark, gravity defying hair now glowing blonde, becoming the legendary status of Super Saiyan.

Vegeta: Hahaha! Tell me, hedgehog, does a lab rat like yourself experience fear?

"Oh please, don't get into his soft spot!" Madotsuki chirped.

Shadow: You have... no idea... WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!

Shadow leaps up in mid-air and surrounds himself with all seven Chaos Emeralds.

Vegeta: What's this?

After he taps into the power of the seven Emeralds, he turns from a black to a yellow lime colored hedgehog with a bright glow and aura with invincible godlike powers, becoming Super Shadow.

Shadow: Behold the true power I possess!

Vegeta: Wow... what a rip-off. GAH!!!

"I can assure you he can beat the living hell out of you!" Sunny exclaimed.

Vegeta gets attacked by Shadow, blocking from a melee receiving from the bio-engineered hedgehog. Afterward, Shadow side-kicks Vegeta, leaving projectiles of Chaos energy after hitting Vegeta seven times. Those projectiles then ambush Vegeta, causing him to crash-land on the ground. Shadow then launches a barrage of his Chaos Spear at Vegeta, but Vegeta jumps up and knees Shadow in the abdomen, kicks him, and launches a volley of Energy Bullets. But when the smoke clears, Shadow is gone.

Vegeta: Wha— Where did he go?

Shadow: Right behind you.

Vegeta charges a blast of energy at concentrated accuracy, but before he can blast it at Shadow, the latter snaps his finger and teleports the former underwater. Swimming around him are two Cheep Cheeps and a Jawz.

"Well, he's wet now." Goldia said. Thinking about how this fight's gonna go.

"But he can breathe underwater. So can Shadow." Sunny recalled.

Vegeta: ...The hell? How did I get here?

Shadow: Hmph. That was easier than I thought. I guess I'm better than—

Vegeta suddenly jumps out of the water, his body full of energy.

Shadow: SHIT!

Vegeta: Cheap trick, teleporting me underwater, coward! Cut the act and give up already! You're nothing compared to me!

Shadow snaps his finger again, this time teleporting Vegeta to the Earth's Moon, where a Ducklett wearing a space helmet is seen in one of the craters.

"So...... what's going to happen now?" Madotsuki asked.>

Vegeta: Goddammit.

Shadow watches from a distance.

Shadow: Hmph.

Vegeta: Playtime's over, runt!

Vegeta punches the surface of the Moon, pushing it closer to Earth.

Jaws were dropped from this incomprehensable feat.

"Vegeta! Did you forget the you're taking the Earth with him?!" Charlotte faceplms.

"Bulma is going to be PISSED." Madotsuki said.

Shadow: No! Is he insane?!

Shadow takes off his inhibitor rings and glows bright red.

Shadow: CHAOOOOOS... CONTROOOOOL!

He teleports the Moon back to its place.

"So casually." Allen said in awe.

Shadow: Yes! I did it!

Vegeta: Congrats, furball.

Shadow: It's time to end this!

Shadow then begins to glow bright red, charging Chaos Blast.

Shadow: CHAOOOS... BLAST!

However, Super Shadow wears off just before the attack can finish.

"Ah......" Charlotte lets out.

Shadow: Uh-oh.

Vegeta: Sayonara.

Vegeta fires the Final Flash at Shadow, vaporizing the latter into smoke.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"Well, what do you know! Looks like we won!" Madotsuki starts clapping her hands.

"Aw, man!" Allen covers his face with his hands.

Charlotte sighs. "Oh well."

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Oh, somebody call PETA, we're down a hedgehog!

"Screw PETA!" Sunny exclaimed.

"Who's PETA?" Russell asked.

"Don't look them up."

------------

CONCLUSION

Vegeta

+More skilled in combat

+Physically more stronger

+Can take a beating

-Vegeta being Vegeta

Shadow

+Has more overpowered abilities

+More faster

-Super Shadow form can only lasts for minutes

------------

Wiz: With Super Shadow's godly power and invulnerability, the question wasn't if Vegeta could kill Shadow, it was if Vegeta could survive Super Shadow.

Boomstick: But Vegeta's proven time after time he can take one hell of a beating and lasted long enough for Shadow to turn back to normal, giving Vegeta the opening he needed.

Wiz: His loud mouth certainly helped him in his past, too.

Boomstick: Looks like Shadow's time was up.

We cut to the "Vegeta" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Vegeta.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

You've been waiting for this, haven't you?

A familiar video game theme can be heard playing.

Madotsuki immediately recognized the theme. "*gasp* Is that who I think it is?"

A yellow ? block can be seen floating until a fist punches it turning into a brown block. And a red mushroom popped out of the box.

???: Lets-a-go!

Mario, the Italian man of the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Mario!" Sunny exclaimed.

Madotsuki realizes something. "Wait! Does that mean?"

Another familiar video game theme can be heard playing.

Sunny gasps. "That's Green Hill!"

Three golden rings can be seen floating until something blue collects the ring, playing an iconic sound.

Sonic, the Blue Hedgehog.

"No way! They're fighting each other?!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

Mario comes out of a green pipe while Sonic dashes near Mario before completely stopping himself.

Mario: Mamma mia!

Sonic: Here I come!

Mario VS Sonic (Nintendo VS SEGA)

"Well, I'll be!" Russell becomes interested.

"That's awesome!" Madotsuki said in awe.

"That would be cool to see!" Sunny said.

"Huh, they will be fighting each other? That's neat." Charlotte becomes interested.

"Hm, this will be appealing." Goldia said.

Allen nods. "I agree."

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Their rivalry is legendary and their fame unmatched. After battling for over two decades, this epic duel will finally meet a decisive end.

Boomstick: I've been waiting for this forever!

"I bet!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"This will be a match of the century!" Sunny would comment.

Wiz: Mario, the whimsical Italian plumber.

Boomstick: And Sonic, the hyperactive hedgehog.

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

MARIO

------------

Wiz: Mario is one of the Star Children and possesses many special abilities with the intent of protecting his home, the Mushroom Kingdom. Even as a baby, he was obviously destined for greatness.

Boomstick: When you've got an army of dinosaurs serving you before you can even speak, you know you're gonna do great things.

"They can kick ass too!" Madotsuki recalled.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'1"

Former Plumber Expert

Can Jump Over 20 Feet

High Stamina

Superhuman Strength

Superhuman Durability

Skilled Combatant

Likes: Jumpin' & Stompin', Mom's Spaghetti, Racing, Mushrooms (no he's not a drug addict)

Dislikes: Kidnapping, Bowser, Toad (maybe)

------------

Wiz: He is well known for his incredible athleticism and unmatched jumping ability.

Boomstick: Who says white guys can't jump?

"I feel like I'm being attacked." Sunny grunted.

Wiz: Plus, he's a powerhouse, with the strength to lift heavy objects and crush enormous castles. He also uses his bare fists to smash solid brick.

"I didn't noticed that!" Madotsuki lets out a "oooh".

"Well, he's quite stronger than I thought." Russell commented.

Boomstick: With his jumping skills and weight, he can pound and crush his foes into oblivion, and if he needs some extra firepower, well, he's got his entire arsenal of power-ups!

------------

FIRE FLOWER

Grants Pyrokinisis

Can Create & Manipulate Fire

Bouncing Fireballs

Ends After Absorbing 1 Deadly Blow

------------

Wiz: His first power-up is the Fire Flower. With it, Mario obtains pyrokinetic abilities.

Boomstick: Really? I always thought the flower was just really spicy.

Wiz: He can create and manipulate fire to produce a variety of devastating attacks.

------------

FROG SUIT

Increases Jump Height

Increases Swimming Speed

Can Breathe Underwater

Resists Water Currents for Better Control

------------

Boomstick: He's also got this Frog Suit thingy. While wearing it, Mario can jump even higher, swim even faster, and breathe underwater. The only problem is no one's really gonna take him seriously wearing that thing. Ha ha! Ah, look at him!

"Awwww, Frog Mario!" Madotsuki likes frog. :)

"How silly!" Charlotte giggled.

"Frogs?" Allen said.

------------

CAPE FEATHER

Wears a Yellow Cape

Can Fly for Unprecedented Amounts of Time

Can Deflect Projectiles

Razor-Sharp Edge

------------

Wiz: Several different power-ups have granted Mario flight before, but none as well as the Cape Feather. With it, Mario can fly for an unprecedented amount of time.

------------

METAL CAP

Becomes Living Metal

Nearly Indestructible

Incredibly Heavy

Power Increase

Speed and Maneuverability Remains Unchanged

------------

Boomstick: The Metal Cap turns Mario's entire body into indestructible living steel. But while Metal Mario's extremely heavy, his strength and speed are boosted, giving him ten times more power and just as much agility as before.

------------

STARMAN

Invulnerability

Speed Increase

Instantly Kills Foes

Short Time Limit

He's waiting in the sky!

------------

Wiz: The Starman envelops Mario into a blinding aura of compressed energy, granting increased speed and complete invulnerability for a short time. Touching a normal enemy in this state will instantly kill the foe.

"Instant?" Goldia becomes intrigued.

"Goombas and Koopa's biggest fear." Sunny joked.

Boomstick: ♫ There's a starman waiting in the sky! ♫

"Boomstick, please no." Madotsuki commanded.

"Oh god." Sunny sighed.

"Was that David Bowie?" Russell asked.

"Oh! I didn't know you like David Bowie." Charlotte responded.

"Well, surprise. I guess." Russell replied with no emotion.

Wiz: Boomstick, stop. We don't have the license for that.

------------

HAMMER

Stored in Mario's Pocked

Can Crush Practically Anything

Smaller Hammers Can be Thrown

------------

Wiz: And while it's not technically a power-up, Mario has a Hammer that can crush almost ANYTHING.

Madotsuki giggled. "Oh man, I remembered how fun that game was with Luigi."

------------

MEGA MUSHROOM

Mario Grows Giant

Invulnerable

Can Smash Through Almost Any Obstacle

Lasts for a Short Time

------------

Boomstick: It seems like Mario's always popping 'shrooms to get more power. And with the Mega Mushroom, he gets GINORMOUS, mowin' down people, plants, environment, hell, everything!

Wiz: Mario has battled a larger variety of enemies than any other video game hero. Whether a foe is large or small, scary or goofy, dumb or deadly, nothing has ever proved too much for him.

Boomstick: Except for keepin' track of his woman! She's always gettin' kidnapped and he's always showing up at the wrong castle. Somebody needs to throw a GPS tracking bracelet on that bitch.

"You know, I always wondered if she intentionally gets herself kidnapped." Russell guessed.

"If not, she really needs to have way better security." Sunny advised.

"And better fighting skills." Madotsuki adds to Sunny's advise.

"But she's a Smash Bros fighter!" Sunny facepalmed.

"Exactly!" Madotsuki said as she nods.

Wiz: He is fairly impulsive and not much of a strategist, preferring to quickly fight his way through problems before thinking things through.

Boomstick: But that doesn't matter, Italy's greatest hero can power through anything!

[A small Mario walks up to the screen.

Mario: Lets-a-go!

He eats a mushroom to turn himself big.]

"How does that even work?" Allen asked.

"Beats me." Russell responded.

------------

End of Mario's Analysis

------------

SONIC

------------

Wiz: Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing alive and a Freedom Fighter battling to save the world from the tyrannical Doctor Ivo Eggman Robotnik.

Boomstick: He's not so bad for a tree-hugging hippie.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 3'3"

Weight: 33 lbs.

Age: 16

Freedom Fighter

Top Speed: Unknown. Average of 765 mph

Figure 8 Technique

Likes: Chili Dogs, Going Fast!

Dislikes: Going Slow, Water

------------

Wiz: Sonic's most notable ability is his speed. He can easily break the sound barrier in mere seconds. While his top speed is unknown, he has clocked in an average of 765 mph.

"He's fast for a hedgehog." Allen commented.

Boomstick: Holy crap! This guy must blow through shoes.

Wiz: He can further increase his speed with his trademark figure 8 technique.

------------

ATTACKS & TECHNIQUES

Spin Attack

Spin Dash

Homing Attack

Light-Speed-Dash

------------

Boomstick: But he's not just fast on his feet. He can curl up into a spiky ball and rip through his opponents with the Spin Attack.

Wiz: His Homing Attack rockets toward an opponent and can hit multiple times.

Boomstick: And with his Spin Dash, he can reach top speeds almost instantly. How does this guy not vomit?

"Don't ask me!" Madotsuki said.

Wiz: During his adventures, he has used a variety of different shields to improve his abilities. Each shield can deflect minor projectiles and have environmental advantages, though they will disintegrate after blocking a deadly blow.

------------

FIRE SHIELD

Impervious to Fire & Heat

Fiery Makeup

Disintegrates in Water

Mid-Air Dash Attack

------------

Boomstick: The Fire Shield can absorb, well, fire and heat, though it can't survive underwater. No shit. But with it, Sonic can use a fiery dash attack.

------------

LIGHTNING SHIELD

Impervious to Electricity

Electric Makeup

Disintegrates in Water

Magnetic Field

Mid-Air Jump

------------

Wiz: The Lightning Shield can't survive in aquatic environments either, but it gives Sonic a mid-air jump for further aerial control.

------------

BUBBLE SHIELD

Can Breathe Underwater

Water & Air Makeup

Bounce Attack

Bouncing Can Increase Jumping Height

------------

Boomstick: And with the Bubble Shield, he can breathe underwater and control his jumps with a powerful bounce. Why do we keep mentioning water, you may ask? 'Cause he can't freakin' swim!

"I don't think hedgehogs are known to be good swimmers." Sunny stated.

"I don't think they can with that small body of theirs." Russell concluded.

"Also the music that plays when Sonic is going to drown is quite terrifying." Madotsuki recalled with a scared tone.

"Yikes! Yeah, that was pretty scary." Sunny agrees to Madotsuki's statement.

Wiz: Sonic's ultimate power-up, however, isn't a shield at all. After absorbing thousands of Power Rings during his adventures, Sonic has become an embodiment of chaos.

------------

SUPER FORM

1000% Power Increase

Automatic Flight

Unlimited Stamina

Invincible

Positive Energy Aura

Duration based on a Time Limit

------------

Wiz: Using the power of the seven Chaos Emeralds, Sonic can tap into their incredible power and summon the form of Super Sonic.

"Oh yes!" Goldia reminded herself about the form. "That form was really strong on Shadow's side."

"And Sonic's WAY more powerful!" Madotsuki informs Goldia.

Boomstick: Super Sonic can fly, breathe underwater, and is completely invulnerable.

Wiz: Not to mention his speed is increased a thousand fold.

Boomstick: But as with most things that are unbelievably powerful, it has a time limit. Without a steady supply of power rings, it can't even last a full minute.

Wiz: And when the form finally subsides, Sonic returns to normal at peak physical form, regardless of his condition prior to the transformation.

"Again, another thing to look out for." Charlotte noted.

Boomstick: While Sonic's always risking his life saving the world from all kinds of dangerous robots and demigods, he's kind of a dick.

Wiz: Sonic is cocky, arrogant, and addicted to action. He gets cranky and unstable when he's cooped up for too long.

Boomstick: And if you ignore him, hah, he'll straight up leave you!

[Sonic: I'm outta here!

Sonic jumps out of the game as the timer hits 5:00]

"That's rude." Allen said.

"Jeez, not even letting you have a break, huh?" Madotsuki pouts.

Wiz: But despite his rough personality, he'll do whatever it takes to save the day.

[Multiples clips of Sonic X plays while the iconic theme song can be heard playing.

Sonic: Can't catch up!]

------------

End of Sonic's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE WE FUCKING GO!!!!!

------------

Madotsuki would make the first vote. "Alright, Mario got some overpowered abilities. But Sonic takes the speed and his Super Sonic form could be a high advantage."

Sunny nods. "I agree! Although, I don't know if Mario can last until Super Sonic runs out."

"That's a good point." Charlotte agrees with Sunny's question. "I'm going for Mario."

Allen and Goldia also votes for Mario.

Russell votes for Sonic. "Alright! 3 to 3! As it should be. Let's continue."

------------

BATTLE

------------

Sonic is calmly sitting in a field when Mario emerges from a pipe. As Sonic leaps back, Mario jumps down in front of him, with the former promising to end their rivalry once and for all.

Sonic: All right, chubby. Let's settle this!

Mario: Let's-a go!

FIGHT!

Sonic attacks Mario with fast combos and sends him onto the pipe he emerged from. Mario produces a Fire Flower and becomes Fire Mario. Sonic dodges the fireballs that Mario throws at him but gets hit by Mario's fire slide.

Mario: Wah-ha!

Mario hits Sonic a few times, then grabs him and spins him around in a circle while holding him.

"Damn! That's one nasty combo from a pulmber!" Madotsuki commented.

Mario: Here we go!

Mario throws Sonic against the pipe. Mario then uses his cape to throw Sonic upwards, allowing him to knock Sonic to the floor, spin him around in a lariat of fire, and throw him backwards. Mario then releases a massive storm of flame, the Mario Finale, but Sonic is unscathed by his Flame Shield.

"Where did he even get that?" Russell asked. "There's no power-up box."

Sonic used his flame dash attack to hit Mario six times. Mario counters Sonic's dash with his hammer.

A short montage of the fight begins. Sonic throws a punch and Mario dodges it, but Sonic then hits Mario with his Homing Attack in the air. Mario then uses his Super Jump Punch at Sonic, and afterward Sonic is standing impatiently next to Tanooki Mario's statue form.

After the montage, Sonic is running as Cape Mario flies after him. Sonic activates his Thunder Shield and dashes over to a volcano with a sad face. Both the hedgehog and the plumber end up inside the volcano, staring at each other on opposite sides. A Bob-omb is caught between them. Alarmed, the Bob-omb informs several other Bob-ombs that their home is being apparently invaded by intruders.

"I think they're screwed." Madotsuki siad.

"Nah, I'm sure they're fine." Sunny reassured.

Mario: Mamma mia!

The Bob-ombs exploded, sending Mario and Sonic flying. Sonic lands in a lake but activates his Bubble Shield to keep him breathing. However, Frog Mario ground pounds him, deactivating his shield.

"Oh no!" The Sonic voters exclaimed.

As the iconic song plays in the background, Sonic tries to jump out of the water, but no avail. Knowing he couldn't stay down any longer due to the lack of air, Sonic tries to run out of the water before he drowns, but his efforts are futile. Frog Mario swims up into the surface, until...

Sonic: Now I'll show you!

Super Sonic hits Frog Mario and emerges from the lake.

"Alright! Now it's getting closer." Madotsuki cheered.

"Darn. Should have remembered that Super Sonic hasn't been pulled yet." Allen sighed.

Super Sonic: How's that plumber?

Mario: Woohoo!

Mario slaps on his Metal Cap, becoming Metal Mario.

Super Sonic tries to attack him, but Metal Mario grabs him and throws him aside. Super Sonic tries a few more attacks but to no avail. After Metal Mario sidekicks Super Sonic away, he produces a Power Star.

Madotsuki gasps. "Uh oh. Better be careful, Sonic!"

Using the combined powers of the Metal Cap and the Power Star, he attacks Sonic with the Mario Tornado, only for the power to suddenly wear off.

Super Sonic: So you're a bit tougher than I thought, huh? But now it's time for me to finish... this...

Mario produces a Mega Mushroom and becomes Mega Mario.

Super Sonic: Whoa...

"Size doesn't matter!" Sunny still continues to root for Sonic.

Super Sonic continuously attacks Mega Mario, but his attacks do very little. Instead, Mega Mario punches Super Sonic away and the power of the Chaos Emeralds wears off, causing Super Sonic to return to peak physical bluish form.

"Oh no!" Russell lets out.

"Oh yes!" Charlotte cheered.

Sonic: Uh-oh.

Sonic falls to the floor. His only option is to use the Figure 8 technique to run from Mega Mario as he gives chase.

Sonic & Madotsuki: You're too slow!

Sonic outruns Mega Mario, who returns to normal size, albeit a bit dizzy.

Mario: D'oh!

After Mario was worn out, Sonic then returns back to the red capped plumber.

"No!" The Mario voters exclaimed.

"Yes!" The Sonic voters also exclaimed.

Sonic: Now's my chance!

Sonic knocks Mario back and forward with the Spin Attack before kicking Mario to the ground in mid-air. He then Spin Dashes into his back, grinding him to death as Mario cries out in pain. The blue speedy hedgehog then jumps off the defeated plumber with blood leaking out of his corpse, ending their rivalry in gory fashion.

KO!

"Oh my god......" Allen said in a low voice.

-------------

BATTLE OVER

-------------

"Oh come on!" Charlotte grunted.

"Too fast for ya, Mario?" Madotsuki chuckled.

"I feel like that death was a bit over-the-top." Russell commented.

"Yeah." Sunny agrees. "I don't think he deserved that."

"Yes." Goldia sighs. "I'll take the loss though."

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Now that's what I call a Death Battle!

Wiz: Their power-ups seemed evenly matched, countering blow for blow.

Boomstick: Mario was even capable of countering the unstoppable Super Sonic!

Wiz: But with their arsenals exhausted, Mario was no match for Sonic's natural speed.

------------

CONCLUSION

Mario

+Variety in Abilities

+Counters most of Sonic's abilities

=Short Duration of Power-Ups

-Isn't Considered Strong in Base Form

Sonic

+More faster

+More powerful abilities

+Better combatant

=Short Duration of Power-Ups

-Mario's Abilities could kill Sonic

------------

Wiz: Even if they had used their lesser known power-ups like the Ice Flower or Super Emeralds, there's no reason to say the result would be any different.

Boomstick: Looks like Mario just couldn't keep up.

"Is that even a pun?" Sunny rolled his eyes.

We cut to the "Sonic" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Sonic the Hedgehog.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE....

Yellow text scrolled up reading "Next time on DEATH BATTLE...." appeared on the screen.

"Hey, wait. That looks familiar." Madotsuki would point out.

Sunny gasps. "Star Wars!?"

The iconic Star Wars theme plays as various clips of the combatant fighting against Siths, Stormtroopers, Boba Fett start appearing.

Luke Skywalker, the Return of the Jedi.

"Oh my gosh! It's Luke Skywalker!" Sunny perked up.

"Oh! Star Wars! Interesting." Charlotte nodded as she talks.

???: You're a wizard, [static].

Sunny recognizes the famous quote. "Wait what?! Harry Potter!?"

The Harry Potter theme plays as various clips of Harry shouting different spells start playing.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived

Luke Skywalker VS Harry Potter (Star Wars VS Harry Potter)

"The Jedi VS The Wizard? How interesting." Russell commented.

"Oh dang. Those are some cool guys." Madotsuki chuckled.

"Now THAT'S an interesting fight." Sunny becomes very interested.

"That's quite a match!" Charlotte commented.

"Okay, I'm interested." Goldia become interested.

"Those two together?" Allen becomes interested also.

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Every generation has idolized a sci-fi hero.

"Like those guys?" Russell points to Sunny and Madotsuki.

"Yup!" Madotsuki perked up. "Like Sunny with Space Boyfriend."

Sunny blushes and does a small embarrassed chuckle. "Yeah. He's awesome."

Boomstick: Like Luke Skywalker, Legacy of the Jedi.

Wiz: And Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

LUKE SKYWALKER

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 169 lbs.

Raised As a Farmer

Prosthetic Right Hand

Son of Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One (he was until he fucked it all up)

Married to Mara Jade

Unfortunate Victim of the Sequels "What sequels?" Sunny asked in an attempted clueless manner.

------------

Wiz: As the orphaned son of Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker carries the blood of the most powerful Sith Lord ever known. He was raised by his aunt and uncle, who kept him safe by disguising his true powers before being taught by a wise old mentor in the ways of the Force.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hello there.

-------------

LIGHTSABER

Custom Built

Approx. 4 Ft. Blade

Cuts Through Most Objects

Based on Kenobi's Saber

Expends No Heat or Energy Until Physical Contact

Uses Form V (Djiem So)

------------

Boomstick: Luke's weapon of choice is the lightsaber, a combination of my two favorite killing tools: swords and lasers!

"Oh, I'm sure almost everyone wants one." Charlotte chuckles at the thought of a real life lightsaber.

"Although, it might be the end of the world if many people gets their hands on it." Sunny said to Charlotte.

"Yeah...... yeah."

Wiz: Despite having little formal training, Luke advanced in lightsaber combat much faster than any other Jedi.

Boomstick: He even took down a freakin' TIE fighter with it, only a month after he blew up the Death Star. What a badass!

Wiz: Luke is a master of Form V (Djiem So), an aggressive combat stance with defensive postures, specializing in both perseverance and pressuring an opponent.

Boomstick: Despite what you might think, the lightsaber isn't just for killing; it also works pretty damn well for defense.

------------

THE FORCE

Surrounds All Living Things

Control - Manipulating the aspects of one's body

Sense - Recognizing & immersing in environment

Alter - Manipulating subjects & environment

------------

Wiz: Even so, Luke's most instrumental tool is his unrivaled connection to the Force. He can apply it in three aspects: Control, Sense, and Alter; controlling all aspects of the body, sensing and utilizing his surroundings, and altering the environment.

Boomstick: Like the mind trick thingy!

[Seller: You want to buy some Death Sticks?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You don't want to sell me Death Sticks.

Seller: I don't want to sell you Death Sticks.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want to go home and rethink your life.

Seller: I want to go home and rethink my life.]

Sunny laughs. "Say what you want on the prequels, but that scene is quite hilarious."

Goldia chuckles. "Yes. That is humorous."

Boomstick: Oh-ho man, the terrible things I would do with that.

"Aaaaand, Boomstick's back on it again." Madotsuki lets out a long sigh.

------------

FORCE POWERS

Force Persuassion

Increased Senses

Increased Speed & Strength

Force Choke

Telekinesis

Shatterpoint

------------

Wiz: When injured or exhausted, he can push his physical limits with the Force Body ability, and use Flashburn to negate pain until he can mend his wounds with Force Heal.

Boomstick: Also, Luke uses the Force to move things with his mind, with almost no limits!

Wiz: Finally, Luke can use Shatterpoint to identify any possible weakness or fracture in a subject. Add just a little pressure with the Force...

Boomstick: ...and BOOM! They explode faster than a Firestone tire!

Wiz: Luke has defeated a wide variety of foes, ranging from Stormtroopers to deadly Sith Lords, one of which Luke had to construct a second lightsaber to beat.

------------

SHOTO LIGHTSABER

Shorter, Red Blade

Approx. 2 Ft. Blade

Used in Jar'Kai Form

Used Sparingly

------------

"He has a red lightsaber?" Sunny never heard of this. He never read the comics.

Boomstick: His shorter red Shoto Saber was made to counter the Sith Lumiya's lightwhip, and it worked pretty damn well.

Wiz: He still carries it, though prefers a single blade over two-handed combat.

Boomstick: Ha ha, penis joke.

Everyone facepalmed at the joke while some groaned.

Boomstick: Anyways, Luke doesn't have an obvious weakness, aside from some pretty serious daddy issues.

[Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.

Luke: NOOOOOOOOO-]

"You just had to be there when the movie plays in the big screen." Sunny becomes curious on the first watch experience back in the 70s.

Boomstick: He doesn't carry a blaster, but unlike other stupid Jedi, he isn't afraid to use one.

Wiz: While Luke is no fan of violence, he certainly will not pull any punches.

[Luke: I am a Jedi, like my father before me.]

"He was." Sunny said.

------------

End of Luke's Analysis

------------

HARRY POTTER

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: N/A (Tall)

Weight: N/A (Skinny)

Born July 31, 1980

Half-Blood Wizard

Accidentally Cursed to Carry Voldemort's Powers

Married to Ginny Weasley

------------

Wiz: As an orphan, Harry Potter carries the talents of the most powerful Dark wizard ever known: Lord Voldemort. He was raised by his aunt and uncle, who kept him safe by disguising his true power before being taught by a wise old mentor in the ways of magic.

Boomstick: Now why does that sound familiar?

------------

WAND

Length: 11 in.

Make: Holly

Core: Phoenix Feather

Described as: "Nice & Supple"

Brother to Voldemort's Wand

------------

Wiz: Harry wields an 11-inch phoenix core holly wand. He has learned many spells and is exceptionally skilled in charms.

------------

CHARMS

Expelliarmus (Disarms)

Confundus (Confuses)

Stupefy Stuns

Protego (Shields)

Patronus (Shields from Dark Creatures)

Accio (Summons Objects)

------------

"I'm not pronouncing all that!" Russell told to Sunny.

"It's okay! I won't pressure you." Sunny gives out a smug look and smile.

Boomstick: His trademark attack is the Disarming Charm, Expelleraptamus... or whatever.

Wiz: Expelliarmus.

Boomstick: ...Which can either knock a weapon away or throw the opponent through the air.

Wiz: The Confundus Charm temporarily confuses the target...

Wiz: ...Stupefy stuns people, and the Shield Charm protects Harry from all attacks.

Boomstick: And he can summon anything he wants to him with Accio. (clears throat) Accio money! Accio loose women! ...Damn.

"Get a wand, Boomstick!" Madotsuki joked.

------------

FIREBOLT BROOMSTICK

0 to 150 mph in 10 seconds

Braking Charm

Perfect Balance

Streamlined Ash

Individually Selected Twigs of Aerodynamic Perfection

------------

Wiz: His Firebolt is a racing broom that can reach 150 miles per hour in less than 10 seconds.

"You think you can go that fast, Mado?" Sunny asked to Madotsuki"

A jingle play as a broom appeared on Madotsuki's hand and her appearance is switched to that of a witch. "Wanna try with me next week?"

Sunny gulps. "Uh- no, no, no. You can do that solo, okay?" He has a fear of heights.

"What the? I forgot you can do that." Russell said.

(Yep, Madotsuki has her effects in the real world in this AU. Why? Don't ask me, I'm still working on the AU.)

Boomstick: That's even faster than Wiz getting shot down by a woman!

Wiz: Right! ...wait, no! Back to spells!

------------

CURSES

Reducto (Destroys Objects)

Sectumsempra (Slashes)

Oppugno (Objects Attack)

Imperio (Controls Minds)

Crucio (Causes Pain)

Avada Kedavra (The Killing Curse)

------------

Wiz: Harry is also experienced in curses. He destroys objects with Reducto, slashes enemies with Sectumsempra, and controls minds with Imperius.

Boomstick: And then there's the Killing Curse... abracadabra.

Wiz: Avada Kedavra.

Boomstick: Oh. That magician wasn't trying to kill me. I guess I should probably go apologize to his family.

"....How many crimes do you think Boomstick is convicted of?" Goldia asked in concern.

Wiz: While Harry's never used the Killing Curse, it is implied that he can. It is an instant kill and unblockable.

Boomstick: Unless it hits a wall... or a sword... or anything really.

Wiz: Almost all magic requires a line of sight and eye contact to perform. The Killing Curse is no exception.

------------

APPARITION

Teleportation

Long Range

Instantaneous

Does Not Require A Wand

Possibly Easier To Do With A Wand

------------

Boomstick: Harry also knows Appara-teleporting, and can do it without a wand.

"Come on, Boomstick! You may not be smart, but that word isn't that hard to pronounce!" Allen exclaimed.

------------

OCCLUMENCY

Prevents Mind Control & Mind Reading

Has Not Mastered, but is Adaquate

Unconventially Uses a Fond Memory As a Shield

------------

Wiz: His training in Occlumency defends his mind from any sort of mental attack or illusion.

Boomstick: And he's got all sorts of other spells, but I seriously doubt the tickle charm's gonna help him much in the fight, so let's move on.

"I'm sure that might be useful, but.... eh." Charlotte does a playful smile.

------------

CLOAK OF INVISIBILITY

The Third Deathly Hallow

Does Not Wear Out

Hides The Wearer

Cannot Be Detected unless The Wearer Allows It

------------

Wiz: Harry owns the Cloak of Invisibility, an unrelenting Deathly Hallow that hides the wearer from sight and cannot be detected.

Boomstick: Unless he makes a noise or pokes his foot out.

Wiz: Harry is a quick draw with his wand and has performed many great feats at very young ages. He has also mastered nonverbal spells.

Boomstick: By the time he was 17, he was beating up way more experienced wizards. In the battle for Hogwarts, he had no problem kicking a ton of Death Eater ass. Not to mention, Lord Voldemort himself.

Wiz: Afterwards, Harry became head of the Dark Wizard Hunting Aura office, even though he is technically a Hogwarts drop-out.

Boomstick: He never did finish that seventh year, but I guess if you killed the lord of ultimate evil, you'd get a G.E.D.

[Harry uses his wand on a candle in a jar, which creates a huge fire. He then uses another spell to put it out.

Harry: Engorgio. Reducio!]

------------

End of Harry's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ABACADABRA!

------------

Madotsuki would make the first statement. "Luke is a skilled fighter, and he's one with The Force. Even if Harry can get around that, I don't think he can even match Luke and avoid that lightsaber."

"Wow, Mado. That's quite a good argument." Sunny claps his hands. Madotsuki would chuckle while having a faint blush.

Charlotte also agreed to her statement.

"Well, I don't know. His spells might turn this fight around." Allen said. Goldia also nods.

"Alright, 4 to 2. Let's continue!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

In Cloud City, Luke is standing when he notices Harry Potter walking towards him with his wand drawn. He activates his lightsaber while Harry stops in his tracks.

FIGHT!

Harry: Avada Kedavr—

Just as Harry is about to use the Killing Curse, Luke uses Force Persuasion to stop him. However, Harry manages to break free using Occlumency. He then prepares once again to cast the Killing Curse.

Harry: Avada Kedavr—

Harry is once again interrupted by Luke, who uses Force Push to knock him back. Luke then leaps towards Harry with his lightsaber swinging, but Harry uses Apparition to teleport away from him. When he reappears, Harry proceeds to fire nonverbal spells at Luke, which he deflects with his Lightsaber. Luke leaps at Harry once again, but like before, he teleports out of the way.

"He should be careful around that lightsaber." Madotsuki noted.

Harry: Expelliarmus!

He fires that and a few more nonverbal spells, but Luke blocks all of them before using the Force to knock Harry's wand out of his hand. Luke charges at Harry, who teleports to the wand.

Harry: Accio Firebolt!

Luke throws his lightsaber at Harry.

Harry: Protego!

Protego deflects the lightsaber, which Luke leaps up to catch. He is suddenly hit by the Firebolt, which knocks him back to the ground while Harry is lifted onto it and rides off on it. Harry flies by multiple times while firing his nonverbal spells, all of which Luke is able to deflect or block. Luke then manages to catch Harry and the Firebolt with the Force and causes them to crash downward into the roof. Afterwards, Harry disappears with the aid of the Cloak of Invisibility while Luke is unable to detect his opponent's presence.

Harry: Confundo!

Luke throws his lightsaber in the direction where he hears Harry.

Harry: Stu...

Harry teleports out of the way of the incoming lightsaber.

Harry: Stupefy!

Luke rolls to avoid the spell before catching his lightsaber and using Force Push again, knocking the Cloak of Invisibility off of Harry. Luke then uses Force Choke, lifting Harry into the air and stopping him from casting any verbal spells.

"This could be bad!" Sunny said.

"Come on, Harry. You got this!" Allen cheered.

He then throws his lightsaber towards Harry, who casts a nonverbal spell that manages to hit the lightsaber's handle, destroying it.

Afterwards, Harry is freed.

Harry: Avada Kedavra!

Luke rolls once again, evading the Killing Curse. Harry fires multiple nonverbal spells at Luke, who simply blocks them using the Force.

Harry: Sectumsempra!

Luke is caught off-guard by the attack and is left with a wound to his side.

But quickly recovering, he then uses Shatterpoint. Over on Harry's forehead, Luke finds the weak point he needs in Harry's iconic lightning bolt scar. Harry's wound begins to expand, eventually causing it to burst, making blood spurt from it.

"What the hell!?" Sunny exclaimed.

"Oh my god...." Charlotte said in a low voice.

Harry screams in agony as Luke takes out his shoto saber with the Force and throws it at Harry, impaling and killing him.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"That was a bit.... much." Madotsuki commented.

"Uh huh." Russell shook his head.

"What did he even do to deserve that?" Sunny asked.

"Yikes...." Charlotte lets out.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Man, Harry did a surprisingly good job keeping Luke at a distance.

------------

CONCLUSION

Luke Skywalker

+More skilled fighter

+The Force

+Lightsaber is gurantee to kill Harry

-Spells can be tricky

Harry Potter

+Spells can be use to caught Luke off-guard

+Can outpace Luke with Firebolt

-Is extremely defenseless

------------

Wiz: But Luke fought smart and tried to finish Harry off quickly with Force Persuasion, but Harry was able to resist thanks to Occlumency.

Boomstick: Then Luke used Force Choke to stop Harry from casting spells.

Wiz: And although Luke can dodge the Avada Kedavra, the instantaneous Sectumsempra curse caught him off-guard. But with Shatterpoint, Luke discovered an exploitable flaw.

Boomstick: That famous lightning bolt scar, which Forced Harry to lose the battle.

"Sure......" Sunny gives it a 4.5/10.

We cut to the "Luke Skywalker" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Luke Skywalker.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

???: Kikoken!

"Chun-Li?" Sunny pointed out.

Chun-Li can be seen doing multiple punches and kicks to prepare herself for the next tournament.

Suddenly, two fans out of nowhere launches towards Chun-Li, knocking her down.

Chun-Li raises herself up from the ground, trying to see who threw those fans.

And all of a sudden, someone jumped out of the bush to reveal........

"M-m-Mai from King of Fighters?" Sunny struggles to speak while his face turns red.

Chun-Li VS Mai Shiranui (Street Fighter VS King of Fighters)

"Another fighting game matchup?" Russell becomes interested.

"Uh, what is she wearing?" Charlotte asked while a visible blush appears in her face.

Madotsuki chuckles to herself. "Oh boy, after seeing Sunny's history, I think he might feel some certain emotions watching this next one."

"H-huh?"

Chapter Text

"What do you mean by that?" Sunny is still blushing because of you-know-what.

"Uh, Sunny. What does she mean by that?" Charlotte asked.

"Oh, Charlotte. I think it's best for you to not know." Russell advised Charlotte.

Madotsuki laughs. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff!"

"U-u-uh......" Sunny becomes speechless and flustered.

"Sunny. Are you okay?" Allen becomes concerned.

"Yes. Why is your face red?" Goldia also becomes concerned.

Sunny cannot speak properly right now. "Don't tell me......"

Madotsuki and Russell look at each other before forming a smile and starts staring at Sunny.

Russell starts chuckling. "Yep! You left your laptop on."

Madotsuki also starts chuckling. "That's a lot! So many images of body pi-"

"Please stop! Can we just watch the episode...." Sunny interrupts. Still being a flustered mess.

Russell starts laughing. "Okay! Let's continue!"

Charlotte, Allen, Goldia were just there in the sofa, being in a extremely confused state as to what just happened, but just simply shrugs it off and continues watching.

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: When it comes to fighting, combatants come in all shapes and sizes.

Boomstick: And I'm liking the shapes and sizes on these two!

"And I'm sure Sunny does too!" Madotsuki continues to tease Sunny.

"S-stop..." Poor Sunny. That's gonna stick with him for a long time.

Wiz: Chun-Li, the strongest woman in the world.

Boomstick: Mai Shiranui, the queen of fighters. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

CHUN-LI

------------

Wiz: Chun-Li, first lady of the fighting game.

Boomstick: Famous for abusing the Thighmaster.

"Don't say a word." Sunny mumbled.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'6"

Weight: Secret

Detective for Interpol

Trained with Gen

Skilled in Tai Chi & Kenpo

Bust/Waist/Hip:
34"/22"/35"

------------

Wiz: Chun-Li is a detective for Interpol, and has gone through a rudimentary police combat training. She has also trained with Gen, a friend of her father's and legend of the Chinese fighting underworld.

Boomstick: But she never did finish her training with him. Does anyone ever finish their training? Seriously! Well, I guess it's not totally her fault. After Bison killed her dad, Gen just kinda disappeared on her. What a dick.

"What reason would you need to leave your trainee?" Charlotte feels disappointed.

Wiz: Since then, Chun-Li's been chasing after Bison for vengeance. She has trained in defense of Tai Chi and is skilled in a fast-paced kickboxing variant of Kenpo. She prefers speed over strength, using a combination of rapid strikes to pressure an opponent.

"Cause you can't attack someone if you're slow as hell!" Madotsuki noted.

Boomstick: And if you can't tell by looking at 'em, her legs are pretty damn powerful. She can even kick people through solid brick. Still, her strength doesn't just lie in those legs. She's strong enough to toss things around as big as a couch.

"That guy probably attacked her, well tried, but even then, doesn't feel a bit overkill?" Russell stated.

"She definitely ain't gonna be a detective anymore after this." Madotsuki said.

------------

ATTACKS

Lightning Legs

Axe Kick (Hazanshu)

Spinning Air Kick

Stomp Kick

Spinning Bird Kick

Senretsu Kyaku

------------

Wiz: Her main attacks include the unbelievably fast Lightning Legs, the unpredictable Axe Kick, and the physics-defying Spinning Bird Kick.

Boomstick: I wouldn't mind taking a ride on that helicopter!

"Sunny?" Madotsuki stares at Sunny.

"Oh come on now. Stop." He can't take it anymore.

"Okay!"

------------

CHI ATTACKS

Kikoken

Kikosho

------------

Wiz: She can also focus her natural Chi energy to create the Kikoken, a slow, limited ranged attack.

Boomstick: And the Kikosho is basically a super version of that: an enormous ball of energy strong enough to stop a speeding car.

------------

FEATS

Took Down Shadaloo

Christened the "Strongest Woman in the World"

Honorary X-Men Member "As in the one with the mutants?" Russell thought.

Martial Arts Teacher

Never Defeated Bison

Defeated Urien (kind of)

------------

Wiz: Her detective skills were instrumental in taking down the criminal organization Shadaloo; and after the tournaments, Chun-Li became a martial arts teacher. However, she has yet to win any major tournament, and failed to kill Bison to avenge her father. She was able to rescue one of her students from Urien, but turns out Urien let her win, wanting only to test her skills.

"Ah, she's still a good fighter." Goldia reassured.

Boomstick: Also, it seems Chun ends up having to be rescued a lot. Usually by Guile.

Sunny begins humming Guile's theme.

"Sounds catchy." Charlotte commented.

Wiz: Oddly enough, her most noble award is placing sixth in an International Shooting Competition, despite rarely carrying a gun.

Boomstick: Well, I guess things wouldn't be too fair if she brought a gun to a Street Fight. Round One... BANG! WINNER!

"It'd probably be enough to kill Bison, though." Madotsuki thought.

Wiz: Despite this, Chun-Li is certainly capable of holding her own, and has been consistently proven to be one of the toughest contenders in the Street Fighter tournaments.

[Chun-Li uses her Kikoken as her last move to beat Ken.

Chun-Li: *laughs* Yata!]

"I didn't know she's this cheerful." Allen smiled.

------------

End of Chun-Li's Analysis

------------

MAI SHIRANUI

------------

"Oh lord, have mercy." Sunny said in a weak voice.

Madotsuki rubs her hands. "I hope he's enjoying this."

Wiz: Mai Shiranui is... well...

Boomstick: Holy crap, look at those things!

"Interesting.... choice for clothing." Goldia commented.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 106 lbs.

Shiranui Clan Ninja

Trained by Grandfather & Jubei in Koppo-Ken & Judo

Bust/Waist/Hip
87"/55"/91"

------------

Wiz: Mai is a ninja of the Shiranui Clan and has been trained by both her grandfather and the perverted, yet famously deadly, Jubei Yomato.

"Where are his manners?!" Goldia said after seeing Jubei touches her "shoulder boulder".

Boomstick: He brought a whole new meaning to "wax on, wax off"!

Wiz: She has extensive training in the Shiranui-ryuu fighting styles. From her grandfather, Mai learned the Koppo-ken technique, specializing in pressure points and bone snapping. With Jubei, Mai trained in close-combat Judo.

Boomstick: Mai's pretty fast, but focuses on single powerful strikes to punch through an enemy's defenses. The only downside to this is if she misses one, she's left wide open. (chuckles)

"Oh, Boomstick." Russell sighed.

Madotsuki looks at Sunny to see that he's still feels a "bit" embarrassed. "Oh, Sunny. Don't worry!"

------------

ATTACK

Flying Squirrel Furiante

Deadly Ninja Bees

Folding Fan Fadango

Windmill Waster

Kacho San (Fan Throw)

Bushin (Shadow Images

------------

Wiz: Her Flying Squirrel Furiante and Deadly Ninja Bee attacks help her control the field of battle, and she uses clever fake-outs to trip up her foes.

------------

BUTTERFLY FANS

Steel

Unlimited Supply

Used in Close Quarters & as a Ranged Projectile

Inflammable

-------------

Boomstick: And she has an unlimited amount of steel fans she can throw, which I guess she keeps in her non-existent bra.

Wiz: That's right.

Boomstick: Really? I was just making a joke about her giant boobs.

"That doesn't feel right." Russell commented.

"Well hey! At least she has something, right?" Madotsuki said.

"Right...." Sunny said, still flustered.

Wiz: Speaking of her... outfit...

Boomstick: Or lack thereof.

Wiz: While it's unrestricted, it isn't exactly form-fitting either. However, as a testament to her training and balance, it doesn't seem to bother her.

"Well, it definitely bothers others!" Charlotte stated.

"If that's her thing, then sure." Allen gives a thumbs up.

Wiz: She wears it for Kunoichi, a female ninja method of sensually distracting a foe before striking.

Boomstick: ...I'm sorry, what? I was distracted.

"Me too." Madotsuki and Russell then stared at Sunny.

"Uh! I mean, uh- n-nevermind."

Wiz: Never mind.

Boomstick: Okay!

------------

PYROKINESIS

Creates Fire & Explosions

Ryu En Bu Attack

Burning Mai Attack

Channels Fire Through Clothes & Objects

------------

Boomstick: Mai can create fire and explosions, and she can control whatever fire she's created.

Wiz: Mai consistently enters the King of Fighters tournaments to support herself, her claimed fiancé, Andy Bogard.

------------

FEATS

Mastered Stealth & Ninjutsu

Does Well in Tournaments

Formed the Women's Team

Has Never Made Minor Impacts in Plots

------------

Wiz: However, she has yet to win any major tournament, nor has she ever made a great impact in taking down the bosses.

Boomstick: Or taking down Andy!

Wiz: She always does well, though, even joining Andy's award-winning team in 1999.

Boomstick: Even so, she ends up having to be rescued a lot, usually by Andy. But for some reason, I don't seem to mind.

[Mai does her idle animation while a street thug stares at her, flustered while his mouth is watering until a steel fan has been thrown into him, knocking the thug down.]

"I guess it does work." Russell stated.

Madotsuki does a small giggle. "It might work on Sunny also."

"Oh for the love of god...."

------------

End of Mai Shiranui's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEXY WOMAN FIG- (Boomstick gets slapped by Wiz) OW!

------------

Madotsuki does a small chuckle. "So Sunny, who are you-"

"Mai" Sunny interrupts. "Please don't ask me for more details."

Madotsuki giggles. "Okay!" Anyway, I vote for Chun-Li! She's quite tough."

"Well, Mai's fiery moves is a good advantage." Charlotte stated.

Goldia agrees with Charlotte, while Allen chose the other option.

"3 to 3. Let's go!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Chun-Li: Kikoken!

Chun-Li can be seen doing multiple punches and kicks to prepare herself for the upcoming tournament. That is until two steel fans gets tossed over to Chun-Li's head, knocking her down.

Chun-Li opens her eyes, raising herself up to find the person who threw those two fans.

Mai jumps out of the bush to reveal herself to Chun-Li.

FIGHT!

Chun-Li starts off with a Kikoken, but due to the slow movement and limited range of the projectile, Mai easily rolls under it and starts delivering a fast barrage of low strikes and the Folding Fan Fandango, ending with a dropkick to knock back Chun-Li.

"And she deals the deadly combo first!" Madotsuki exclaimed like she's the announcer.

She pauses for a moment before charging in to finish off her opponent.

However, Chun-Li recovers and springs to her feet, kicking Mai in the face. She then flips over Mai's attempted Ryu En Bu Attack and throws her back. Just as Mai gets back up, Chun-Li charges in with her Axe Kick, followed by several hard blows, and her Lightning Leg Attack.

"Nice!" Allen cheered.

Realizing that close-combat with Chun-Li is not favorable, Mai gets some distance and throws out three of her Hacho San (Butterfly Fans) with the third being powered by her pyrokinesis. She also leaps in. Chun-Lin blocks the first two fans but is unable to block the third fiery one and Mai's simultaneous fire strike from above, taking both hits and an extra strike. Mai then attempts a fake-out with her Flying Squirrel Furiante, but Chun-Li anticipates the move and lets loose with a powered-up version of her Lightning Legs, causing Mai to take heavy damage and knocking her down.

"Yo!" Russell exclaimed. "If she acts like in the games, I would quit playing SF for my entire life."

Chun-Li charges in but Mai manages to recover, flips over Chun-Li and trips her with a sweep kick.

Mai changes her strategy and begins leading Chun-Li in a chase up the tall trees. Each time they pass each other they exchange blows, but Mai manages to get another pyrokinetic strike, knocking Chun-Li down. Chun-Li retaliates and catches Mai off-guard with her Spinning Bird Kick. Mai is left dazed on a large tree limb, as Chun-Li lands and pauses to build up her ki to finish off her opponent. This is Chun-Li's final mistake as it is just enough time for Mai to recover and roll out of the way.

Chun-Li's Kikosho Attack misses, and Mai uses her legs to grab Chun-Li's head, slamming her into the tree limb, and then kick her into another tree. As Chun-Li falls, Mai follows her down in a fiery rolling attack, slamming into her opponent as she hits the forest floor. With Chun-Li standing in a fiery daze.

"No." Chun-Li voters let out.

Mai uses her pyrokinetic powers to engulf Chun-Li in a huge explosion of fire, leaving nothing but a charred skeleton, similar to Mortal Kombat's Scorpion's Fatality.

KO!

------------

"Aw!" Allen lets out.

"Well, Sunny. At least your wai-"

"Zip it." Sunny interrupts.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Boobs win!

Everyone sighed.

------------

CONCLUSION

Chun-Li

+Stronger & faster in combat

=Professionally trained

-Vulnerable to Mai's abilities

-Limited in Close Combat

Mai Shiranui

+More ranged & deadly attacks

+Pyrokinesis

=Professionally trained

------------

Wiz: Chun-Li may be a bit tougher and quicker than Mai, and her professional training even prepared her for the fake-out ruse. However, her arsenal pales in comparison to that of Mai's. With her pyrokinesis and steel fans, Mai had superior range and energy-based attacks.

Boomstick: And while Chun's a beast in close corners combat, her straightforward approach was a bad matchup against Mai's ninja training.

Wiz: It was certainly a close match, but Mai's nimbleness and firepower eventually won out.

Boomstick: Chun-Li's never looked hotter.

"Sure." Sunny gives it a 6/10.

We cut to the "Mai Shiranui" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Mai Shiranui.

------------

"So Sunny, how was the episode?" Madotsuki asked to Sunny with a smug smile in her face.

"I-It was good....... stop looking at me like that."

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE....

The camera pans to a clear blue sky until a jet flew by the camera.

The camera then focuses on the jet as it lands on a village. The jet suddenly transforms into......

Sunny gasps. "Starscream?"

Starscream: Ah, what a beautiful looking village. Too bad this will be my property once Megatron will no longer be on the throne soon. HAHAHAHAHAHA-"

???: Hey, Metal Man! What's so funny?

The camera zooms out to the other combatant, and that combatant is...... huh?

"Wait, huh? Rainbow Dash?" Russell recognizes the pony.

Starscream VS Rainbow Dash (Transformers VS My Little Pony)

"What the hell?" Sunny gets confused.

Madotsuki laughs. "Wait, really?!"

Charlotte scratches her hair. "What an interesting combination."

Goldia gets confused. "What an.... unique idea they came up with."

Allen gets into an awe state. "Woah...... ponies and robots."

"Wait, Russell. How did you know who she is?" Sunny asked.

"Oh! Well, me & Russell watched MLP together!" Madotsuki responded.

"Uh...... Madotsuki, why did you just reveal that to our friends?" Everyone knows now.

"Wow, Russell! I didn't think you enjoy that kind of stuff!" Charlotte wasn't expecting this.

"Y-yeah. I guess it's cool." Russell lets out a sigh.

"Really? That's quite embarrassing." Sunny chuckled.

"Hey, aren't you the one enjoying those...... stuff on that laptop of yours?" Well that backfired.

"........Good point."

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: Television has been used to market toys to boys and girls for generations, ranging from G.I. Joe to Barbie and Transformers to My Little Pony.

Boomstick: Are we really doing this?

"I guess so." Madotsuki shrugs.

"Okay, but why those two exactly?" Sunny asked.

"The pony is not gonna die, right?" Allen asked in concern.

Wiz: Yes, yes we are.

Boomstick: Alright. Well, Starscream from the first generation Decepticons.

Wiz: And Rainbow Dash of the G4 Pegasus Ponies.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

STARSCREAM

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: Approx. 20'

Decepticon Seeker

Air Commander

Graduate of the Cybertron War Academy

Nicknamed "Silver Snake"

------------

Wiz: Starscream is the air commander of the Decepticon battle fleet. He constantly seeks power and often attempts to usurp Megatron's leadership of the Decepticons, with little success.

"Sometimes, I wonder why Megatron even bothered to keep him around." Sunny thought.

Boomstick: He has two forms: giant robot and jet.

-------------

ROBOT FORM

Humanoid

Can Fly

Cluster Bombs

Missiles

Laser Guns

Null Ray

------------

Wiz: His robot form is primarily meant for ground travel, though it can fly short distances.

Boomstick: This form's weaponry consists of cluster bombs, missiles, machine guns, and his trademark Null Ray, a laser that shuts down anything that uses electricity.

"But he's fighting a pony." Allen noted.

------------

JET FORM

F-15 Eagle Fighter Jet

Top Speed: 2,100 mph

AIM Homing Missiles

-7F/M Sparrows

-120 AMRAAM Slammers

-9L/M Sidewindlers

M61A1 Vulcan Gatling Gun

------------

Wiz: He can transform into an F-15 Eagle, a twin-engine, all-weather fighter jet with top speeds reaching Mach 2.8, nearly three times the speed of sound.

Boomstick: In jet form, he can fire three different types of homing missiles, from short-ranged Sidewinders to long-ranged SLAM-ERs. And if those don't do the trick, he's equipped with an M61A1 Vulcan Gatling Gun that fires 20-millimeter ammo at 6,000 rounds per minute. Fun fact: it also works great for hunting!

"Is the pony just doomed?" Charlotte asked.

Madotsuki begins to think. "Hm...... no."

Wiz: Starscream is a coward, and uses cheap tactics, often shooting his opponents in the back. However, his deadliest weapon is arguably his silver tongue. While he is not the strongest Decepticon, he is a clever and deceiving speaker, who can worm his way into favorable positions.

------------

ATTRIBUTES

A Clever Speaker

Transparent Strategist

Arrogant & Stubborn

Cowardly

Uses Cheap Tactics

------------

Wiz: Despite this, he is a terrible strategist. Most of his plans instantly go wrong.

Boomstick: Like when he took over the Decepticons because Megatron had a sore throat.

[Megatron: (incomprehensible speech) Autobots!

Starscream: Too bad! He's blown his vocal components. I guess that makes me the new leader!]

"No?" Russell facepalmed.

Boomstick: It was short-lived.

"I mean, knowing Megatron, he definitely gave him a brutal punishment." Madotsuki thought.

Wiz: And yet his persistence paid off, and he was eventually crowned leader of the Decepticon faction.

[Starscream: Who disrupts my coronation?!

Galvatron: Coronation. Starscream? That's some bad comedy.

Starscream: Megatron? Is that you?

Galvatron: Here's a hint! (Galvatron transforms into an artillery unit and proceeds to fire Starscream, killing him, shattering him to pieces.)]

Boomstick: Again, short-lived.

"He doesn't like you, Star!" Madotsuki chuckled.

Wiz: Starscream was king for a whopping 20 seconds, a personal record.

------------

SPARK

Indestructible

Can Move on its Own

Floats

Can Possess & Control Other Machines

------------

Wiz: However, after his death, Starscream discovered his spark, or life-force, was somehow indestructible.

Boomstick: And a good thing too, because since then, he's been dying nearly every episode.

Wiz: His ghostly spark can possess machinery. He has taken over several other Transformers, robots, and even a cybernetic schoolgirl while she was using the bathroom.

Boomstick & Everyone: What?!

Wiz: Unfortunately, his poor knowledge of human society led him to forget to pull up the girl's underwear, making him the laughing stock of the school.

"What the fu-" Russell cuts himself off before standing up from the couch to drink some water.

"I.... can't believe on what I just heard." Charlotte looks away from the screen.

"Can we just continue?" Madotsuki does not want to speak of this.

Boomstick: Props to you, Japan. I didn't see that coming.

"Ah, Japan. They come up with some weird stuff." Sunny's knowledge of Anime makes his aware of the weird shit they think of.

"I'm Japanese too! Well, half. Their mindset is...... unique?" Madotsuki definitely knows some stuff.

"Oh yeah, she's half Peruvian, everyone. In case, you didn't know that." Sunny informed everyone. (Just a cool headcanon I thought everyone should hear about)

[Megatron: You're an idiot, Starscream!]

------------

End of Starscream's Analysis

------------

RAINBOW DASH

------------

"Are we seriously doing this?" Sunny is just weirded out by this matchup.

"She's isn't gonna die, right?" Goldia asked.

"Nah! Don't worry." Madotsuki smiled, having her hopes up in her pony friend.

Wiz: Rainbow Dash is a Pegasus Pony from Equestria, the magical land of ponies.

Boomstick: (groans)

"Yep. Boomstick definitely wouldn't like this one bit." Allen said.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: Approx 4'

Flight School Drop-Out

Weather Manager

Winner of "Best Young Flyer's Competition"

Unnatural Durability

Black Belt in Karate "How does a pony learn Karate?" Charlotte thought.

------------

Wiz: After dropping out of Flight School, Rainbow found a job in Ponyville as Weather Manager. She is a strong, agile flyer with great durability and resilience. She can smash through trees and solid rock and get right back up. She is also training to join the Wonderbolts, a superb team of flyers who are kind of like the Blue Angels.

Boomstick: Except they're PONIES.

Wiz: She is also a black belt in karate.

Boomstick: How does a pony learn karate, let alone master it?

Apple Bloom kicks a punching bag, only for her to shake a few seconds and fall to the ground.

"Poor Apple Bloom." Madotsuki said in a sad tone.

------------

WEATHER CONTROL

Can Stand on Clouds

Can Manipulate Clouds

Can Force Lighting & Rain from Clouds

Managerial Position Proves Mastery of this Field

Tornado Creation & Control

------------

Wiz: As a Pegasus pony, Rainbow can control weather. She can use the clouds in the sky to manipulate lighting strikes and precipitation. Also, she can create and control giant tornadoes.

"Well, she's more capable than I thought!" Charlotte now curious on the Rainbow Dash.

"Trust me, she's cool!" Madotsuki informs.

------------

MOVE LIST

Super Speed Strut

Fantastic Filly Flash

Cloud Barrel Weave

Cloud Spinning

Rainblow Dry

Buccaneer Blaze

------------

Boomstick: She's also got some other moves, like the Buccaneer Blaze, which is apparently so amazing it can't be shown on screen. And, somehow, it creates a huge explosion.

Wiz: Rainbow often brags that she is the fastest in the world. And you know what? She's right. By calculations according to this guy.

An image of a man grinning while holding a bunch of MLP toys pops up.

"Hey! Just let him enjoy what he likes!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"What she said." Russell joins up. Oh yeah, he watches MLP with Madotsuki, remember?

------------

ATTRIBUTES

Brash & Arrogant

Extremely Competitive

Brave & Loyal

Athletic Both on the Ground & In the Air

Top Speed: 3,800 mph "Faster than Starscream." Allen noted.

------------

Wiz: Rainbow Dash can fly up to five times the speed of sound with ease. This is apparent through the Mach cone that often forms around Rainbow, which indicates that she has broken the sound barrier. And the angle of which proves she can reach up to Mach 5 speeds.

"Yeah.... I think Starscream met his match." Sunny concluded.

"Oh my! She's really capable!" This took Charlotte by surprise.

"See! I told you!" Madotsuki giggled.

Boomstick: This is a pony, a baby horse girl toy. Why is it so awesome?

------------

SONIC RAINBOW

Hypersonic

Instantly Doubles Speed to Mach 10

Top Speed: 76,000 mph "WAY faster than Starscream." Allen noted (again).

Creates A Rainbow

Powerful Shockwave

Can Pull 90 Degree Turns

------------

Wiz: And upon breaching Mach 5, she entered hypersonic speeds to create the Sonic Rainboom. With this, her speed doubles instantaneously to Mach 10. And somehow the resulting sonic boom completely shatters the visible light spectrum.

Boomstick: Not to mention the sonic boom itself is apparently strong enough to split solid rock and shake entire mountains.

"Wwwwwhhhaaatttt?!" Sunny gets dumbfounded from her destructive power.

"Yeah, Starscream's not leaving this out alive." Charlotte's faith in Starscream has been thrown out the window.

Wiz: Rainbow is brash, athletic, and extremely competitive. But while she's steadfast and loyal, she sometimes cheats to get her way.

Boomstick: Well... let's make it fight a giant robot.

[Rainbow Dash: YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!]

------------

End of Rainbow Dash's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------

Russell stands up from the couch. "Alright, everyone. Who do you go-" Russell suddenly cuts off. "Oh, who am I kidding? We all know who's going to win this, right?"

Everyone responded "Yep!"

"And besides, who in their right mind would EVER root for Starscream?" Sunny chuckled.

"Thought so. Let's continue."

------------

BATTLE

------------

Starscream in his jet form lands on a village then transforms himself to his robot form.

Starscream: Ah, what a beautiful looking village. Too bad this will be my property once Megatron will no longer be on the throne soon. HAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Metal Man! What's so funny?

FIGHT!

Starscream: (mockingly laughs) A pony? I'll crush you in an instant! Prepare to be annihilated!

Rainbow Dash: You talk a lot.

Rainbow hits Starscream several times as she flies around him, before bucking him in the heel to no effect. Starscream then backhands her out of anger.

Starscream: That's it. I. Am going. To KILL YOU!

"This will be embarrasing for him." Madotsuki moves her head left to right while crossing her arms.

Before Starscream can even move, Rainbow Dash flies up and tags him in the head.

Rainbow Dash: Tag, you're it!

Starscream shouts in anger as he turns back into the F-15 Eagle Jet Fire and chases Rainbow Dash in the sky. He proceeds to fire his Gatling gun, which Rainbow Dash easily evades. He then fires missiles, which also fail to hit their mark. In Starscream's POV, we see him preparing to lock onto Rainbow Dash.

Starscream: Alright, don't move...

"This is Rainbow Dash we're talking about!" Madotsuki reminded.

Just as Starscream successfully locks on, Rainbow Dash flies off, immediately undoing it, causing his monitor to say "TARGET LOSS".

Starscream: Blast it!

After he says this, Rainbow Dash appears face-to-face with him, making multiple funny faces at him.

"Playing with the victim, I see." Sunny said.

"I don't she realizes the grave situation she put herself into." Charlotte gets worried.

"I'm sure she'll make it!" Madotsuki reassured Charlotte.

Starscream: Hey! What are you doing? Stop that!

This whole time, Rainbow Dash was standing on Starscream, who didn't even notice.

Rainbow Dash: You're not very good at this game, are you?

She leaps off of him, which Starscream clearly flees and then he proceeds to follow Rainbow Dash upward into the clouds. And also another pony can be seen in the background.

"Derpy?" Madotsuki spotted the cameo.

Starscream then transforms back into his robot form and hovers.

Starscream: Where are you? Show yourself!

Rainbow Dash quickly flies in with a rain cloud and places it over Starscream.

Starscream: Hey!

Rainbow Dash repeatedly kicks the rain cloud, causing Starscream to be hit repeatedly with lightning, eventually causing him to fall to the ground. Rainbow Dash walks on the ground up to her downed opponent, but she is suddenly struck by the Null Ray, knocking her back and momentarily dazing her. Starscream laughs, but then Rainbow Dash recovers.

"It only works for things powered by electricity!" Goldia noted.

Rainbow Dash: Alright! It... is... on!

Rainbow Dash flies around Starscream multiple times, eventually creating a tornado, which he is trapped in. He attempts to escape by turning back into his jet form, only for one of his wings to break off, causing him to fall to the ground once again. Rainbow Dash lands and prepares to charge at him.

Starscream: Wait! Wait! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!

Hearing this, Rainbow Dash slows and eventually stops in her tracks.

Starscream: I'll... I'll join the herd! I'll be a good Decepticon from now on!

As he is saying this, Starscream is preparing to lock onto the idle Rainbow Dash.

"Aaaand, of course he is." Sunny one clapped his hands.

Starscream: Please, just let me go!

Rainbow Dash: Well, I don't know. I mean, I know I should love and tolerate, but...

Starscream successfully locks onto Rainbow Dash, preparing to fire everything.

Rainbow Dash: Wait... what's that?

Starscream's chest reveals his homing missiles.

Starscream: DIE!

He fires the homing missiles, which head toward Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Oh my gosh!

Rainbow Dash flies into the sky and up into the clouds as the missiles follow. Starscream stands, waiting with his arms crossed in his "Any minute now" pose.

"Wait for it...." Madotsuki prepares for the finishing blow.

Rainbow Dash then flies downward with the missiles still following her, flying so fast that she has broken the sound barrier. She then unleashes the Sonic Rainboom. Starscream is stunned as Rainbow Dash flies right past him, leaving him too late to dodge the homing missiles. They strike, destroying his lower body, as Rainbow Dash smashes into Starscream and then uses her Buccaneer Blaze, which tears Starscream apart off-screen. Rainbow Dash then flies towards Starscream's torso.

Rainbow Dash: Aw yeah! That was awesome!

"Hell yeah! She won!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

Suddenly, Starscream's spark emerges from his torso, floating in the air.

Starscream: You haven't won! I'm invincible! My spark lives! You can never defeat Star—

He is cut off by Rainbow Dash, who eats and swallows his spark, promptly ending the battle right then and there.

"That was weird." Goldia stated.

KO!

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"Woohoo! High five Russell!" Madotsuki and Russell high fived each other.

"Ah, Starscream. Can't even fight a pony." Sunny chuckled.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: Forget all doubt, that pony is a monster!

------------

CONCLUSION

Starscream

+Better combatant

+Highly destructive arsenal

-Starscream

-It's fucking Starscream

Rainbow Dash

+Much faster

+Can use the weather for an advantage

+Sonic Rainboom could instantly destroy Starscream

+Much smarter

------------

Wiz: Rainbow's speed and agility were more than a match for the clumsy Starscream, and it doesn't help that his aim is even worse than a Stormtrooper's. Not to mention the Null Ray is designed to destroy electronics, not living ponies.

Boomstick: She just ate a Transformer!

Wiz: Yes, and while Rainbow might experience some mild indigestion, Starscream's not going anywhere anytime soon.

Boomstick: Well, she put the "pwn" in "pony".

"Ah, pwn. When was the last time I heard that word?" Good ol' gamer days, Sunny remembered.

We cut to the "Rainbow Dash" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is Rainbow Dash.

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE....

???: Cortana, I need you to scan for any present lifeforms.

"Cortana?" Sunny then gasped. "Wait a minute!"

Master Chief, the Demon Feared by Aliens

"Damn!" Madotsuki and Sunny exclaimed.

"Nice!" Russell gets interested.

"Aliens?" Charlotte said to herself.

Suddenly, a blast can be heard from the distance.

Master Chief looked behind him to see a plasma heading right towards him. He then evades to his left and looked at the source of the plasma ball.

A masked soldier holding the plasma gun switched to his boomstick. (That's my name!)

"The Doomslayer?!" Sunny exclaimed.

Doomguy, Hell's Feared Mortal

Master Chief takes cover then switched to his pistol then starts firing at Doomguy before the camera fades to the thumbnail.

Master Chief VS Doomguy (Halo VS Doom)

"That's awesome!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"This should be exciting." Russell rubs his hands.

"Wait, Doomguy? Hold on, how old is this episode?" Sunny asked.

Russell checks the date of the episode. "Huh, this was made in 2011."

"Wait, really? That old? So I guess we're doing the OG then." Madotsuki said.

Sunny laughs. "I mean, we all know Doomguy would win, right?"

........

"Right?"

Chapter Text

------------

INTRO

------------

Wiz: When the aliens invade a thousand years from now and our hyper-advanced technology isn't enough, our last hope will inevitably be placed in the hands of the lone space marines.

"The aliens can't be that bad, right?" Charlotte said. Aliens do exist, but not the ones you commonly see in Sci-Fi movies.

"Well, these aren't the same aliens you know." Sunny informed.

"I would be lying to you when I say that Bennett isn't weirding me out, though." Russell said to Charlotte.

Boomstick: Like the super soldier, Master Chief.

Wiz: And Doomguy, the Bane of Hell itself.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

------------

MASTER CHIEF

------------

Wiz: At the young age of six, John-117 was abducted by the UNSC to be part of the SPARTAN-II program.

Boomstick: The worst daycare ever.

"How horrible." Goldia feels symphetic.

"You can't trust the government." Madotsuki declared.

------------

SPARTA-II AUGMENTATIONS

15x Stronger Skeleton

Muscle Increase

300% Increase Reflexes

Better Eyesight & Perception

Boosted Tissue Growth

Lactase Recovery Decrease

Heightened Memory, Intelligence & Creativity

------------

"This guy is built different!" Allen commented.

Wiz: At 14, he underwent the program's augmentation procedures, dramatically increasing his strength, speed, vision, intelligence, and reflexes.

Boomstick: When he was done, his bones were nearly indestructible, and he could beat up and kill way more experienced marines. At 14! Man, that's one harsh puberty.

"He's awesome." Sunny nods.

"Well, at least it has some benefits." Charlotte laughs.

Wiz: Upon reaching the rank Master Chief Petty Officer, John began a 30 year campaign leading the SPARTANs against three different threats: the Insurrection, the alien Covenant, and the Flood.

"Those look terrifying." Charlotte commented. DEFINITELY different than those aliens that she met.

"The Flood. They were unexpected, but a welcome surprise." Sunny stated.

------------

MARK VI MJOLNIR ARMOR

Brain-Linked Reactive Curcuits

Force-Multiplying Circuits

Titanium Alloy Plating

Heat Resistant

Motion Tracker

5 Second Regenerating Energy Shields

Weight: 1000lbs

-------------

Wiz: As a SPARTAN, he wears Mark VI MJOLNIR armor. This technological marvel links directly to John's brain, so his actions controlled on thought before movement. Simultaneously, the suit itself multiplies Chief's already enhanced physical capabilities.

Boomstick: The suit weighs half a freakin' ton, yet the guy still jumps around like he's on the Moon!

"He isn't human?" Charlotte becomes awe of his capabilities.

Wiz: The helmet's Heads-Up Display includes a motion tracker with an 80 foot radius. Also, the suit projects a recharging energy shield.

------------

SIDEARMS

M60 Magnum

-Ammo: 12.7 mm

-Range: 400 ft

-Scope: 2x

M7 Submachine Gun

-Ammo: 5 mm

-Range: 155 ft

M9 Frag Grenade

-Kill Radius: 16 ft

------------

Boomstick: The Chief's first sidearm is the M6D Magnum.

Boomstick: This scoped, high powered pistol uses 12.7 millimeter armor-piercing rounds with the precision accuracy of over 400 feet. I don't care what kinda armor you're wearin'; three headshots from this baby, and you're done.

Wiz: His other sidearms include the SMG and frag grenades.

------------

STARDARD FIREARMS

MA5C Assault Rifle

-Ammo: 7.62 mm

-Rate of Fire: 650 mm

BR55HB SR Battle Rifle

-Ammo: 9.5 mm

-Range: 3100 ft

M90 Shotgun

-Type: Pump

-Spread: 15 Pellets

-Ammo: Soelllkraft 8-Gauge Shell

------------

Boomstick: His standard firearms include the rapid-fire Assault Rifle, the more precise Battle Rifle, and the M90 shotgun, a pump-action death dealer that uses Soellkraft 8 gauge shells.

Wiz: Which are so impossibly dangerous, they are banned worldwide to the point of near extinction.

"Look at that gun in action!" Goldia said in surprise.

------------

HEAVY WEAPONRY

M41 Rocket Launcher

-Ammo: 102 HEAT Charge Rockets

-Scope: 2x

SRS99D-S2 AM Sniper Rifle

-Ammo: 14.5 mm Fin-Stabilized

-Range: 7545.9 ft

-Night-Vision Mode

M6 Spartan Laser

-Shot Limit: 5

-John-117's Most Powerful Weapon

------------

"This guy is the Armory!" Madotsuki yelled out.

"This man is a man of his arsenal." Allen commented.

"Trust me, wait until you see Doomguy." Sunny informed.

Boomstick: But even that's not enough killin' power for the Master Chief. The M41 rocket launcher holds two rockets at once, and his sniper rifle was designed for killin' giant alien infantry from long distances. The shells can pierce tank armor or rip people in half. And then there's Chief's killer app: the Spartan Laser.

Wiz: With a three-second charge and a five shot limit, it does have its faults. Buuuuut...

Boomstick: Think of it kinda like a laser pointer... that points things into OBLIVION!

[John arms himself with the M6 Spartan Laser to kill an alien soldier, immediately obliterating the poor soldier.]

"Yikes!" Charlotte exclaimed.

Wiz: Master Chief can only carry two or three weapons at a time. However, he seems to possess extraordinary luck and can usually find exactly the weapon he needs somewhere nearby.

Boomstick: He finds weapons on the ground more often than you can find change on a sidewalk.

------------

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

Overshield

Active Camouflage

Radar Jammer

Regenerator

Deployable Cover

Power Drain

Bubble Shield

------------

Wiz: He can also use special equipment in the field. The overshield triples the strength of his armor's shields, and Active Camouflage will cover him in an aura of light-bending energy, creating the illusion of invisibility.

Boomstick: Plus, the Bubble Shield is a portable force field that projects the Chief from all projectiles, though people and vehicles can pass right through. How the hell does that work?

Wiz: But even that's not the last of Master Chief's vast arsenal.

"How could there be more than this?" Charlotte became more curious as to how could the weapons be more than it already is.

------------

SANGHEILI WEAPONRY

Type-25 Plasma Pistol

Type-25 Plasma Rifle

Type-51 Carbine

Type-1 Plasma Grenade

-Kill Radius: 13 ft

-Sticks to Targets

Type-1 Energy Sword "Ah yes!" Sunny exclaimed.

-Length: 4.15 ft

-Weight: 5.2 lbs

------------

Wiz: When the Elites allied themselves with the UNSC during the Human-Covenant War, the two sides traded some of their weaponry, giving John access to plasma pistols, plasma rifles, and the Type-51 carbines.

Boomstick: Not to mention my favorites: the sticky plasma grenade and the lethal energy sword.

Wiz: The Type-1 Energy sword is one of the few weapons John has yet to master. It features two, four-foot energy blades that can actually block bullets.

Boomstick: Really? Man, that would've been useful in the games.

Sunny does a little "mhm". "Why didn't they added that mechanic?"

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 7'0" (w/ armor)

Weight: 1,287 lbs (w/ armor)

Defeated 3 Armies

Destroyed Halo 04 & The Ark

Super Soldier

Top Speed: 50+ mph

------------

Wiz: The Master Chief has consistently proven to accomplish the impossible. He's an expert in combat strategy, can run 50 miles an hour, has defeated three entirely different armies multiple times, destroyed an entire Covenant armada single-handedly, and prevented galactic genocide... TWICE.

"He is the best soldier he is!" Madotsuki said in awe.

"This man is a legend." Allen didn't think this was going to be this exciting.

"But is he cooler than Doom?" Sunny teases.

Boomstick: And one time he fell from orbit, holding on to nothing but a flimsy piece of metal, landing without a scratch, and was up kickin' alien ass just a few minutes later. Why? Because he can.

"Huh?" Goldia gets in a state of shock.

"Sorry Space BF. But the chief is just so cool." Sunny does a little laugh.

Boomstick: I guess when the aliens calls you a demon, you know you're one hell of a soldier.

"I hope he doesn't intend to harm Felix. Hopefully he doesn't think all aliens are bad." Charlotte doesn't want to think of the Chief to have any intention to harm towards her friends.

[Hood: Master Chief, you mind telling me what you're doing on that ship?

Master Chief: Sir, finishing this fight.]

------------

End of Master Chief's Analysis

------------

DOOMGUY

------------

Boomstick: The original, ass-kicking, demon-slaying, first-person badass, and one of my personal heroes: Doomguy!

'Hell yeah, brother!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"Did you just call Boomstick, brother?" Russell asked.

------------

BACKGROUND

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 230 lbs

US Space Marine Captain

Prefers a Run-&-Gun Strategy

Defeated Hell 5 Times "5 times? That place?" This sparked Allen's interest.

Can Dodge Plasma Shots

Top Speed: 57 mph "Slightly faster than the Chief." Goldia noted.

------------

Wiz: After disobeying his commanding officer, and beating him to death....

"Huh?!" Catching Charlotte by surprise.

"Why?" Sunny asked.

"Was he really this much of a mindless rage machine?" Russell wondered.

Wiz: ....Doomguy's career took a drastic turn when he was sent to the desolate moons of Mars, which so happened to house a magical gateway to the bloody bowels of Hell.

"What?!" Charlotte gets surprise. (again)

"Interesting...." Madotsuki noted. "Mars' a neat planet, but its moons being a portal to Hell?"

Boomstick: Mexico!

Wiz: ...No.

"What did they do to you?" Allen asked.

Boomstick: And when Hell tried to kill everybody, Doomguy killed them back.

"Once again, hell yeah." Madotsuki raised her fist to the sky!

------------

MEGAARMOR

2x Stronger than Security Armor

Non-Regenerating Energy Shield

Max Armor & Shield Charge is Around 200%

------------

Wiz: He wears the megaarmor, a shielding combat suit almost twice as strong as typical security armor and can endure dozens of normally fatal plasma blasts.

Boomstick: He carries a huge arsenal of murder machines, all at once!

Wiz: Using a backpack with experimental warp technology, Doomguy is able to hold all his weapons simultaneously.

------------

SIDE ARMS

Pistol

-Ammo Capacity: 200 Bullets

Chainsaw

-AKA The Great Communicator

-Gas-Powered

Chain Gun

-Ammo: 5 mm

-Rate of Fire: 525 RPM

-Full-Auto Disperses Accuracy

------------

Boomstick: I'm pretty sure his pistol uses the same technology since he never has to reload! And when things get tight, his chainsaw will rip and tear through anybody! Rgggghhhh! "No, not the chainsaw!" "Yes, the chainsaw!" Rgggghhh!

"........Okay." Russell just continues watching.

Boomstick: ...And his chaingun mows down everything in seconds.

Wiz: Oddly, the chain gun uses the same .5 mm ammo as the handgun, and is relatively ineffective against strong body armor.

------------

STANDARD FIREARMS

Shotgun

-Pump-Action

-Spread: 7 Pellets

Super Shotgun

-Sawn-Off & Break-Open

-Spread: 20 Pellets

Plasma Gun

Rocket Launcher

-Ammo Capacity: 50 Rockets

-Rocket Speed: 40 mph

------------

Boomstick: Well, that's stupid. Luckily, Doomguy has his trusty pump-action shotgun! It holds 16 shells and fires seven pellets a shot, with a spread range so ridiculous he doesn't even have to aim! But apparently one overpowered shottie isn't enough! So Doomguy got himself a super shotgun, a heavy double-barreled devastator that fires a huge spread of 20 pellets. Good luck dodging that!

"Woah, I can see why the demons would be afraid of him." Allen said.

"These aren't even his most destructive weapons yet." Madotsuki reminded.

Wiz: He also wields a plasma gun and a rapid fire rocket launcher that can hold 50 rockets at once.

Boomstick: What the hell! Who designs these things?

Wiz: But even that pales in comparison to Doomguy's ultimate weapon.

Boomstick: It's the king of cannons. The doomsday bazooka that lays waste to everything. It's the Big Fucking Gun 9000!

[The BFG 9000 fires a big plasma ball to a gigantic demon.]

"Aww, yes!" Sunny raised his fist to the sky!

"Woah! That's impressive." Goldia commented.

"Aside from the name, this thing is quite spectacular." Charlotte commented.

"Good luck, Master Chief." Madotsuki spoils her vote early on.

------------

BFG 9000

Plasma Blasts

Slow-Moving Projectile

Huge Blast Radius

Can Be Charged

Obliterates Everything

------------

Wiz: The BFG fires enormous rounds of plasma. Upon impact, the resulting detonation releases trace-rays across a wide varying blast radius. This "gun" is strong enough to annihilate the gargantuan Cyberdemon in a mere two or three shots, and the unprecedented range of its splash damage ensures no-one is getting away unscathed.

Boomstick moans with pleasure.

Wiz: Wait a second Boomstick, you're not going to believe this, but the BFG is not Doomguy´s deadliest weapon.

"Really?!" Charlotte again questions on how they could get more powerful than what they already are.

Boomstick: Yes! More!

------------

UNMAKER

Laser Beams

Up to 3 Simultaneous Lasers

Paralyze Demons

Demon-Tech in Origin

Feeds on Demonic Aura

Deadly Only to the Demons of Hell "Well that's disappointing." Russell said.

------------

Wiz: Behold the Unmaker, a portable death ray that puts everything else to shame.

Boomstick: Gimme! Gimme gimme gimme!

Wiz: There's just one catch. The Unmaker's beams are so powerful because they actually feed off the demonic energy of the target, which means it's basically useless against anything that isn't from Hell.

"Ah, I'm sure Doomguy will still take the cake." Sunny grinned.

Boomstick: Dammit! Well, I guess it doesn't really matter when you already have a backpack full of things to kill people with. Give me the BFG any day.

Wiz: Now Doomguy isn't exactly a supersoldier, but his strength and speed are far greater than a normal man, due to constant use of super serums and power-ups.

------------

POWER-UPS

Berserk

Megasphere

Radiation Shield

Light Amplification Visor

Partial Invisibility

Invulnerability

------------

Boomstick: The Berserker power-up completely heals him and increases his strength tenfold. And the Invincibility and Partial Invisibility power ups-do, well, exactly what you think they would.

Wiz: Doomguy rarely relies on strategy, preferring to mow down his enemies as fast as he can.

Boomstick: It's more fun that way.

Wiz: He's defeated the armies of Hell five separate times. He even walked right knee-deep into Hell itself to avenge his pet rabbit Daisy.

The picture of the pet rabbit Daisy's head impaled through a spike saddened some of the audience.

"I understand now." Goldia sends condolences.

"Poor rabbit...." Allen said in a sad voice.

"Yeah, poor rabbit, I guess." Sunny isn't really a fan of bunnies or rabbits.

"He.... likes rabbits too?" Russell wasn't expecting for Doomguy to like bunny rabbits just like he does. Espicially to the point where he fought against Hell when the demons killed the poor animal.

Wiz: He can run up to 57 miles an hour, even outrunning his own rockets, and can spot invisible enemies.

Boomstick: He's no normal man. He's... Doomguy!

[Doomguy is shown defeating the Spiderdemon.]

------------

End of Doomguy's Analysis

------------

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH!

------------

"Doomguy! Doomguy! Doomguy!" Madotsuki & Sunny starts chanting.

"Well, I guess they like the marine very much." Charlotte giggled. "Anyway, I'm picking Master Chief."

"Aww, but I'm gonna Doomguy." Allen decides for the marine.

"I'll just pick Master Chief. He's the best soldieer there is." Goldia declared.

Russell starts to think. "You know what, I'm just pick Doom. 4 to 2, here we go!"

------------

BATTLE

------------

Master Chief: Cortana, I need you to scan for any present lifeforms.

Suddenly, a blast can be heard from the distance.

Master Chief looked behind him to see a plasma heading right towards him. He then evades to his left and looked at the source of the plasma ball. It was Doomguy.

FIGHT!

Master Chief pulls out an assault rifle and begins unloading on Doomguy, but it is doing no damage. A firefight erupts and Doomguy is rapidly switching through his weapons, shooting each time. Chief takes cover, but it is no use, as Doomguy pulls out his rocket launcher and rapidly shoots rockets at him.

Chief over-dramatically dodges them all with somersaults and barrel rolls and grabs one of the soaring rockets.

"That's badass." Russell commented while clapping his hands.

"Wow!" Allen said with eyes sparkling.

He chucks it back towards Doomguy, stunning him. While stunned, Chief grabs the Warthog and chucks it at Doomguy, revealing an Energy Sword and an invisibility power-up.

"Oh look! Conveniently placed weapons!" Sunny laughed.

"Did he just...... lifted and threw that vehicle like it's a toy car?" Charlotte said in confusion.

While Doomguy is trying to shoot the Warthog out of the air with his Plasma Gun, Chief switches the assault rifle for the sword and goes invisible. Doomguy finally gets the Warthog downed, but he notices Chief is nowhere to be found.

"Don't forget, he can see invisible enemies." Russell reminded everyone.

He then pulls out his chaingun, jerks around, and begins to fire, revealing Chief, who is using the sword as a shield to dodge them. Doomguy, seeing how the Chaingun is doing nothing, pulls out the shotgun and blast Chief back into a crate, revealing an invincibility powerup. Doomguy gets the powerup while Chief uses a rocket launcher and sniper rifle to stop him, but no dice. He then switched to his pistol.

The invincibly wears off and Doomguy fires his BFG....

"Yes!/No!" Sunny & Charlotte exclaimed.

....but out of the explosion is a plasma grenade.

"What?!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"NO!" Sunny exclaimed in surprise.

"Yes!" Charlotte raised her fist up in the air.

It sticks onto Doomguy's shoulder, when Doomguy noticed the sticky grenade on his shoulder, he starts frantically looking around before making a "I'm fucked" face, letting out a scream and blows him into bloody chunks.

"NO!" Sunny yells out again.

"Oh, yes!" Charlotte smirked.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that." Goldia said while smiled for her victory.

The smoke from the BFG round fades away and reveals an unscathed Master Chief, who used a bubble shield to stop the BFG round. Chief walks over to Doomguy's bloody chunks and teabags them.

KO!

"Huh? Is he teabagging him?" Russell asked.

"What's teabagging?" Allen asked.

"Uh...... nothing important." Russell told to Allen.

"Heh, was this an online Halo match or what?" Madotsuki joked.

------------

BATTLE OVER

------------

"Are you kidding me?!" Sunny groaned.

"Aw man. I guess he doesn't take the win this time around." Madotsuki sighed.

"Well, I'm surprised." Russell said in a deadpan tone.

"Hahaha, I actually won?" Charlotte said in surprise and relief.

"So the minority won this time around? Interesting." Goldia does a little laugh.

"I'm okay with that." Allen said, crossing his arms.

------------

RESULTS

------------

Boomstick: It's about time we had a good old-fashioned gunfight!

------------

CONCLUSION

Master Chief

+Skilled fighter

+More experienced

+Has more endurance

+More technological advanced weapons

+Regenerative Shields

DOOMGUY

+More physically stronger

+More destructive arsenal

+Slightly faster

-Relies on powerups

-Weaker defense

------------

Wiz: Doomguy may have an enormously destructive arsenal, but, unfortunately, his weapons lack versatility.

Boomstick: I hate to admit it, but Chief can take and dish out more punishment than Doomguy.

Wiz: And while defeating Hell sounds awe-inspiring, Doomguy's enemies weren't that much different from Master Chief's.

Boomstick: This fight was nuts! (laughs)

"Hahaha. Sure." Sunny gives it a 6/10.

We cut to the "Master Chief" winner card.

Wiz: The winner is the Master Chief.

------------

"Welp. My loss." Sunny sighed.

"At least, it wasn't the Doom Slayer." Madotsuki pointed out.

"Yeah, no. That version of Doom is way more OP than the og. At least it wasn't HIM." Foreshadowing........

------------

Next time on DEATH BATTLE........

Two silhouette figures appeared only to reveal Sonic & Megaman

"Really?" Russell lets out.

"Sonic's back this early?" Charlotte questioned.

"What an interesting match." Madotsuki wondered.

???:Wait, wait, wait! No! Are we really letting that dastardly blue hedgehog get his own spotlight again?

Madotsuki gasps "Eggman?"

The camera moves to the left to reveal Eggman.

Dr. Robotnik, Eggman, Ruler of the Badniks

"Sweet!" Russell said.

Eggman: (crossing his arms) He already had his turn, why are we doing this again?

???: And also, why should we give that robot a chance when I'm standing right here?

The mysterious figure walked up to the camera to reveal....

Wily, creator of the Robot Masters

"Really? That's so cool!" Madotsuki exclaimed.

"Alright, that's interesting." Sunny thought.

"Oh yeah! Eggman! Such a strange name though." Charlotte thought.

Eggman: Oh! Look at that! You think you're better than me?

Wily: Why would you asked that if my Robot Masters are clearly superior than your badniks?

Eggman: Oh, really? Wanna prove it?!

Wily: Oh, you bet I will!

Eggman VS Wily (Sonic VS Megaman)

"Okay, this might be interesting." Sunny thought.

"Is this going to be a robot fight?" Russell asked.

"Huh? With their robots? That sounds cool, actually." Madotsuki gets excited.

"Evil scientists...." Allen thought.

Chapter Text

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INTRO

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Boomstick: It's no secret that scientists are, well, crazy as hell, but these two take it way too far.

Wiz: Doctor Ivo Robotnik, AKA the Eggman.

Boomstick: Doctor Albert Wily, AKA Einstein without Rogaine.

Wiz: In this scenario, both Doctors will be leading their mechanized armies to see who is the deadliest robot commander.

"So it's an outright war?" Charlotte wasn't expecting an episode to be a team based.

"Huh, that's more interesting." Russell thought.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

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DR. ROBOTNIK, EGGMAN

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BACKGROUND

Real Name: Ivo Robotnik "But why Eggman?" Charlotte wondered.

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 282 lbs

IQ: Over 300

PhD: Unknown & Probably Fake

Ruler of The Eggman Empire

Endorses Animal Cruelty Goldia did a double take on that one.

He's Here to Make An Announcement!

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Wiz: Doctor Eggman is the obese, yet strangely athletic evil mastermind responsible for terrorizing the world of Sonic the Hedgehog, in his quest to rule a global empire. His engineering mastery has led to a massive army of unique robot warriors using the strangest fuel source: kidnapped animals.

Boomstick: He's PETA's worst nightmare.

"Leave those animals alone...." Allen whimpered.

"I'm still confused on how they operate under there." Sunny wondered.

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ROBOT INFANTRY

Moto Bug

-High Speed Scouts

Caterkiller

-Covered in Defensive Spikes

Buzz Bombers

-Quick Flyers with Laser Guns

E-1001 Egg Pawn

-Impressive Arsenal, but Dumb

SWATbot

-Well-rounded, but Fragile

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Wiz: His army is based around speed and defense, including Moto Bugs, Caterkillers, Buzz Bombers, Egg Pawns, and SWATbots.

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EGG FLEET

Composed of Hundreds of Flying Warships

Mako Shark Gunship

Sawfish Battleship

Manta Ray Ship

Egg Carrier

-Length: 2,588 ft

-Numerous Missiles Launchers

-Front-Mounted Laser Cannon

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Boomstick: But Eggman's got way more than that! His Egg Fleet is a huge armada of battleships, led by the massive Egg Carrier, which supports a huge, front-mounted laser cannon.

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BADNIKS

Egg Robo

-Designed for Tactical Tasks

-Can Pilot Vehicles

Silver Sonic

-Can Fly with Rocket Shoes

-Powered by a Chaos Emeralds "He got ahold of those things?" Allen thought.

Mecha Sonic

-Slower & Tougher than Silver

-Greater Focus on Firepower

-Can Absorb & Use Chaos Energy

Mecha Knuckles "There was a what now?" Madotsuki does not recall one appearing.

-Fire Large Rockets

E-101 Beta MK11

-Can Fly & Teleport

-Homing Missiles

-Wide AoE Laser Beams

Shadow Android

-Has Shadow's Physical Abilities

-Fires Small Rockets

Scratch & Grounder

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Wiz: The Eggman Army is spearheaded by his deadliest robot warriors, the Badniks. The Eggrobo is a smart-bot crafted in Eggman's own image and designed to carry out tasks Eggman himself would normally do.

Boomstick: What's this guy's deal with eggs?

"Are we.... meant to take him seriously with a name like that?" Russell questions Ivo's mindset of naming things.

Wiz: On its own, Silver Sonic appears slow and bulky, but it is powered by a Chaos Emerald, making it a much faster and more practical machine.

Boomstick: Then he made another robo-hog, Mecha Sonic, who focuses on firepower over speed.

Wiz: Mecha Sonic can even absorb Chaos energy to attain a short lived Super form.

Boomstick: But Eggman wanted more than just Sonic bots. Mecha Knuckles can glide and vomit giant rockets.

Wiz: And E-101 Beta remains one of Eggman's most versatile creations.

Boomstick: He's a flying robot with super speed, teleportation, and a reflector shield. He shoots homing missiles and Kamehamehas, and has one of my favorite defensive abilities ever, the backhand!

Wiz: The Shadow Androids are fast and durable and typically fight in groups of three. However, their design is so complex, they sometimes glitch in close combat. And speaking of glitches, despite being an absolute genius, Doctor Eggman appears to suffer from a peculiar personality disorder that sent him through several different "phases."

[Eggman: I miss my wife, Tails. I miss her a lot, I'll be back!]

Madotsuki laughs. "Oh man, I seen some clips from that dub and that shit's hilarious!"

"He has a wife?" Allen asked so innocently.

Boomstick: Let's just hope that Scratch and Grounder phase doesn't show up today.

Wiz: But none of Eggman's creations have ever been as deadly or as successful as his ultimate killing machine...

Boomstick: Hyper Metal Sonic.

"Of course, who couldn't forget the icon?" Sunny smirked a bit.

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METAL SONIC

Top Speed: Mach 5

255 cc 4 Valve Fusion Engine

-Max Torque - 7.54 kg-m/4000rpm

Weaponry

-Sonic's Abilities

-Black Shield

-Chest Laser