Work Text:
Jusis hates it when people do this. He thought that his job at the campus bookstore would entail more than just restoring books that people have yanked from the shelves to their rightful place, but as he spends another afternoon wheeling a cart of misplaced books back to the correct sections of the bookstore he concludes that, yes, this is one of the reasons why he hates people. He understands from experience that it’s necessary to examine a book before purchasing it to see if it’s suitable to one’s tastes, but why can’t they put the damn books right back onto the same shelf where they were before instead of leaving them all over the place? What is wrong with humanity? What shameful laziness. Jusis grumbles to himself as he drags his cart around, performing such menial labor that would be unnecessary if people weren’t so careless, but when he passes by a shelf that is usually uninhabited by any human presence he pauses, frowns, and double takes to reassure himself that there is indeed someone actually standing in the bookstore’s typically deserted section on human sexuality.
It’s a guy around his age – must be a student like him, too, judging from the back of his red hoodie sporting the university’s insignia. How disgusting. He must actually have some dreaded school spirit or maybe even, god forbid, attend the campus football games to get free swag. Perish the thought. He seems panicked as he stands there in front of the shelf, fidgeting in place as his eyes flit quickly from the spines carrying titles that he seems to find embarrassing to his surroundings to see if anyone is staring at him, and Jusis rolls his eyes. Dear god, this guy must have no backbone at all if he’s subconscious about being judged for perusing this shelf. No one’s going to care about what he’s looking at. He’s just another patron of the horribly overpriced campus bookstore like all the other poor saps wandering around. Jusis continues his work with an irritated grumble, returning a last stack of cookbooks to – who would have thought – the cooking section, before he works on the next cart of misplaced science fiction novels; he’s never enjoyed suffering through reading anything in the convoluted genre of science fiction, but that doesn’t mean these novels deserve to be abandoned in such distasteful disarray.
Another half hour passes before the test of Jusis’s endurance ends, but as he pushes his last empty cart back to the front of the bookstore his eyes catch a certain familiar sight. He’s still there. The guy who’s been lingering around the human sexuality section is still standing there in a flustered daze, not to mention staring at the exact same book his eyes have been locked onto in an uncomfortable showdown, like he has a crush on it but is too shy to initiate contact. Watching him repeatedly continue to try inching his shaky fingers towards the book only to pull them back is becoming plain painful to watch, and when Jusis can’t take it anymore he leaves his empty cart behind and marches right up to him.
Even though Jusis stops directly behind him, the guy doesn’t seem to notice because he’s too busy continuing to fret about his current situation, and after Jusis folds his arms he clears his throat. The guy practically screams as he jumps in place and whirls around to face Jusis with wide, startled eyes, but whereas Jusis seemed to faze him very much, his scream on the other hand doesn’t incite a mutual feeling. “Can I help you?” Jusis asks, raising an eyebrow, and the customer immediately puts on a guarded frown.
“Wh–Why do you ask?!” he demands, and even though it’s a strange question Jusis indulges him anyways.
“You’ve been standing here for over half an hour,” Jusis replies. “That leads me to believe there’s something to be concerned about. Do you need help finding something?”
“I just…” the guy begins awkwardly, scratching a hand at his unruly navy hair. “I feel kinda weird standing in this section of the bookstore? Even though it’s the place I think I need to be to find what I’m looking for? I dunno. It’s just kinda… an uncomfortable topic, but I have all these questions because I feel like I don’t understand myself lately…”
When Jusis glances up to get a closer look at the book that he’s been so tempted by for the past half hour, he understands what all the confusion must be about by the telling sight of its title – Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientation. So that’s it. How silly. Jusis has never worried about this kind of thing himself. If he’s attracted to someone that’s all that matters – who cares about trivial things like what sex they are? Well, mostly trivial, that is. The topic becomes more noteworthy when matters escalate to the bedroom stage.
Regardless of his own thoughts, it doesn’t seem like this guy is ever going to find it in himself to touch the book that he’s taken such an interest in, so Jusis reaches out, yanks it off from the shelf for him, and holds it out expectantly. He flinches back as expected. “Just take the book,” Jusis huffs, stepping forward to jab its corner into the incomprehensible customer’s gut. “You have questions and you want answers, so do yourself a favor and stop acting like this is going to kill you when it can only help.” When he finally takes it in his quivering hands and stares down at the surprisingly tame cover Jusis wonders how he’s going to manage purchasing the book if he can hardly bring himself to hold it, but once he looks up a few seconds later he flashes Jusis a stupefying grin.
“Thanks!” he exclaims, all warmth and bright smiles that Jusis didn’t see coming from someone who seemed so timid and unsure of himself. It leaves him shocked for the first time today – possibly more shocked than this guy felt when Jusis scared him from behind earlier – and Jusis just can’t believe it. This guy is actually kind of cute when he smiles. “You’re right. I’ll stop being a big wuss and give it a look. Hopefully it’ll clear some things up for me. Uh… sorry for making this really awkward for you.”
Jusis snorts. “Awkward? Please, do you honestly think any of this is awkward for me? You’d have a better chance at winning the lottery than finding a situation able to shake me into feeling awkward about anything.”
“Really?” the guy asks with a short, airy laugh that echoes in Jusis’s ears and makes his heart skip a beat. “That’s some self–confidence you got there. It must be really nice to be able to feel so sure of yourself. Anyways, I’m gonna, uh… I’m gonna go buy this now, so thanks again.”
“I hope it’s of use to you,” Jusis answers, and after the guy gives him a wave and nervous chuckle he runs off towards the registers. Well. An interesting end to an otherwise dreary day on the job, that’s for sure. Maybe he’ll run into that guy in one of his classes sometime or even just around campus. There’s no way Jusis wouldn’t recognize him anymore now.
~
A few days later when Jusis is returning a book titled Queer Theory back to its correct place, he’s left stunned by a jarring case of déjà vu – that guy is back, standing before the same shelf as his hands fidget uneasily at his sides. Well. Jusis can’t say he’s disappointed that this customer is back, but since he’s in the exact same place something must be wrong. “Did you not find the book helpful?” Jusis asks, and when the guy whips around with another scream he wonders if this will happen see every time they begin a conversation. He guesses he could announce his presence in a less disconcerting way, but that’s less entertaining and he needs some entertainment in his life when he spends fifteen hours of his week working in this dreary place.
“Oh, thank god, it’s just you,” the guy sighs out in relief, and as Jusis slides good old Queer Theory back onto the shelf his eyebrow twitches at how he’s just been so dismissively referred to as just you. How rude. “Well, I finished the book. It was nice, but… I dunno, I just didn’t feel like it really helped me out at all? I still feel so unsure of… well, myself. I mean, reading about stuff is one thing, but trying to apply it to your own situation is kinda hard to do sometimes.”
“I see,” Jusis says as he lifts a hand to tap his chin in thought while staring at the customer with the cute smile. “You’re a student here too, no? I’m sure you understand when I say that there’s only so much you can learn from books. Sometimes the only way to get the information you want is with your own hands by doing, not reading.” He pauses for a moment to assess the confused stare cast upon him. This guy is clearly someone who has to have things spelled out for him. “What’s your name?”
“Rean,” he answers with that smile, and Jusis wonders if Rean understands just what he’s doing every time he unleashes that monster. “Rean Schwarzer. How about you?”
“Jusis Albarea,” he replies. “Well, Rean, will you let me take you out for coffee on Friday?”
“…Huh?” Rean utters softly. Honestly this is what Jusis was expecting – Rean staring at him blankly like he’s just been asked to explain the meaning of the universe – but Rean regains his bearings rather quickly from his daze. “Are you asking me on a– Wait. Wait a minute… Did you say your name is Jusis Albarea? As in like, related to Dean Albarea who runs this whole university?!”
“That would be my father, yes,” Jusis responds with a light glare that always arises whenever his father becomes the topic of conversation.
“Holy crap!” Rean exclaims, making much more of a racket when necessary, especially considering that he likely doesn’t want to be seen standing in this part of the bookstore. “I had no idea! If your dad’s the dean of the university what are you doing working in the campus bookstore like this?"
“Why does it matter?” Jusis huffs in exasperation. Rean probably thinks he’s gliding by with his father’s help without the burden of student loans and apartment rentals but the truth is that his father neither offered him any help nor would Jusis accept any offered from him, so the question is ridiculous. He’s working here for the same reason anyone else would bother working here – for the money. As a fan of perusing a quality novel every now and then, to be the one responsible for seeing that these poor books are treated with the care they deserve is just a bonus, or actually it’s probably a demerit now that he thinks about it because of how aggravated it makes him. “I’m not here to tell you my life story, Rean. I’m here to, yes, ask you on a date, and I’m still waiting for you to give me an answer.”
“Ah… well…” Rean begins with a light blush on his cheeks, his stare falling down as he shuffles the soles of his sneakers against the carpet. “I, uh, don’t really know what to say? I’ve never gone out with a guy before…”
“Obviously,” Jusis interrupts during Rean’s uneasy pause. “Isn’t that the whole point of your confusion? If you had no interest you would have rejected me without question, but since you didn’t there must be some part of you that wants to try.” His words make Rean glance back up at him from the floor, and when he raises an eyebrow Rean seems to shy back away towards the shelf. “Am I wrong?”
“…No,” Rean replies quietly as that smile returns to his face. “Okay. Why not? Maybe it really will help me with this, um… confusion that I’m having. This Friday sounds great. Should I meet you somewhere or…?”
“I should get back to work, so we can work out the details later,” Jusis says as he pulls his phone out from his pocket, just as planned. “What’s your number?” Rean rattles it off, and Jusis does the same for him before he backs away towards his abandoned cart. “We’ll be in contact. Until then, as an employee of this bookstore I’m obligated to tell you to please feel free to purchase anything else that might interest you, related to the topic or not.”
Rean laughs, seeming to think that it’s a joke when Jusis is being completely serious, but who is he to complain when it’s such a welcome sound. “Alright, Jusis. I’ll see you around.” When Jusis heads off to continue with today’s work he marvels at how accomplished he’s feeling right now, but who wouldn’t be pleased to have set themselves up on a date with a cute guy? Work seems less painful now, and even though he has a twelve–page essay to finish writing by the end of the week, Jusis would say that as a whole today panned out favorably.
~
After class ends on Friday, Jusis heads straight to the café where he said he would meet Rean. He arrives two hours early, but as Jusis waits for their date to start he uses the time to finish editing his essay in peace, away from the ruckus of his apartment’s rowdy neighbors. He doesn’t order anything to drink yet, opting to wait until Rean arrives since that is, of course, the courteous thing to do, and when Rean walks in five minutes before their date is scheduled to begin Jusis’s eyes are immediately drawn up from his screen from that red hoodie in his peripheral. Rean lingers near the door, seeming a little nervous as he glances around for Jusis, and after Jusis closes his laptop with a gentle click he slides it into his book bag and meets Rean at the door.
“Good evening, Rean,” Jusis greets rather normally, or so he assumes, but when Rean still jumps a little at the sound he wonders if there’ll ever be a time when one of his salutations doesn’t catch Rean off guard. “…My apologies, I don’t mean to continue startling you like this.”
Rean’s initial surprise quickly melts away into a sheepish laugh as he scratches the back of his neck. “Oh… heh, that’s alright, Jusis. I’m not always like this, I swear! I guess I’m just feeling kinda jumpy since I’m not used to this whole… um… you know…”
“Let’s get in line,” Jusis suggests before Rean can continue bumbling on. Soon they both have their drinks – Rean already sipping away at his latte as Jusis drinks his iced tea – but the seat that Jusis left earlier has already been taken. Not only that one, but all of the seats are full. Then again, maybe this is good. If Rean already seemed to be uncomfortable standing in that part of the bookstore, he’d probably feel even more awkward if there were so many people nearby with potentially prying eyes to catch him on his first date with another male. “Shall we go somewhere else?” Jusis asks, and after Rean responds with a shaky grin he leads Rean out of the café and to a nearby park.
There are certainly less people here – not to mention that since it’s getting dark outside they probably can’t be seen clearly by anyone else anyways – but even though it’s just the two of them, Jusis can still feel Rean’s anxiety permeating the air around them. “Um,” Rean speaks up as they reach the fountain at the center of the park, and Jusis pauses mid step to glance back at him, pulling his straw from his lips as he swallows his mouthful of tea. “You didn’t really have to do this, you know?” Rean continues, squeezing his paper cup between his fingers as he taps the tip of his shoe against the ground. “I mean, we don’t even know each other. You probably don’t even like me, let alone wanna be here on this date right now and are just taking pity on me for being that weird kid in the bookstore who’s… confused about if he’s into guys or not…”
Jusis interrupts him with a snort. “Of course we don’t know each other. We’ve only had two brief conversations. That’s the point of a first date, Rean, to get to know each other, so I’ll go first and inform you that you’re incorrect in assuming that I don’t even like you. I like whomever I’ve happened to take an interest in, regardless of gender, because I don’t see why that should matter, and I’ll have you know that I’ve been captivated by your smile since the first time you offered it to me. It made me realize that I think you’re rather cu… c–cu…” Jusis coughs lightly to clear his throat, taking another quick sip of his iced tea as he glances away. “…It’s endearing,” he concludes.
After a moment of silence Rean starts laughing, the sound crisp and bright as it cuts through the night air, and as his body shakes with his laughter the reverberations almost send his latte spilling over the rim of his cup. “Wow, you’ve been giving me this advice all this time but you can’t even find it in yourself to say the word cute?” he teases, and Jusis wonders where the nervous Rean from a few moments ago went to make way for this unexpected jokester. Still, he supposes it’s nice to have Rean’s tension about his predicament that’s extended into their first date slowly disappearing like this.
“But, um,” Rean goes on, and as Jusis looks back at him he sees a faint blush on Rean’s cheeks in the darkness. “It’s really amazing that you can just speak your mind like that… I’ve been trying to keep my feelings and confusion all bottled up inside because I’m afraid of what’ll happen when I admit that things have changed. I’ve caught myself having passing thoughts about not only some girls on campus that I’ve passed by and thought were cute, but guys as well… Huh, now that you mention our first impressions… when you showed up in the bookstore to give me a hand I thought I was being messed with because I was like oh no, I think that I think he’s hot.”
Rean gasps loudly when he realizes what he’s just said, lifting his cup to his mouth as if he’s trying to hide behind it while he looks to the side. “Um, s–sorry! Haha, that just kinda came outta nowhere, huh? That’s weird, right, to just be saying that all randomly… N–Not that I’m taking it back! That is, I still think that you’re really hot– wait, no, erm, I mean, yes! Yes, I still think that you’re… Ugh, it’s all coming out wrong… What I’m trying to say is that even though I know that everything isn’t solely based on looks, I guess I really am attracted to guys, too…”
“Really?” Jusis begins, raising an eyebrow as he watches Rean continue to fidget around awkwardly. “You still sound unsure of yourself, but I do have a test to assist you in confirming that your assumptions are true.” He sets his half–finished iced tea onto the fountain’s ledge and takes a step forward; Rean doesn’t back away. “What would you do if I kissed you right now?” Jusis inquires, noticing Rean’s fingertips brushing restlessly against his cup as his eyes lift to meet Jusis’s again at the sound of his words. Sure, it still hasn’t been long since they first met, but if the attraction truly is mutual then it’s not a baseless assumption to imagine that Rean’s interested as well. “Are you against the notion?”
“…N–No,” Rean soon admits quietly with a laugh and a shrug that don’t convey the intended nonchalance. “That sounds pretty nice. I, um, I feel like I wouldn’t really know what to do if we kissed right now, though. I mean, it shouldn’t be anything different than kissing a girl, but it still kinda makes me a little nervous… But, yeah. We can give it a shot. How weird could it be, to kiss a guy? I’ve done weirder things before at parties, and I guess it’ll be nice not having to be the one bending down this time.”
As Rean’s words keep spilling out to fill the silence that only he seems to think is uncomfortable, Jusis continues his approach as well until the distance between them is so thin that he can see himself reflected in Rean’s nervous eyes. “Rean,” he interrupts, and Rean’s mouth quickly clamps shut though the motion does little to steady his quivering lips – that’s alright, Jusis is about to calm them down for him in a moment. “Just relax,” he whispers, lifting a hand to press a curled knuckle against the bottom of Rean’s chin and tilt his head upwards, but as Jusis leans in for what he presumed would be a perfect kiss at the perfect time in a perfect location, the perfect moment is interrupted by Rean abruptly moving forward in his eagerness and smacking their foreheads together. Jusis swears, grunts at the sharp pain, and reels back, gingerly rubbing at the location of impact with his fingertips as he hears Rean blurting out apologies.
“I’m sorry!” Rean laments as he holds a palm against his own forehead. “I–I got a little too excited! My bad, I should’ve just stood there and waited instead of going for it too. C–Can we have a redo…?”
“Fine,” Jusis grumbles, still recuperating from the force of the headbutt. At least it exemplified how much Rean actually did want to kiss him. “Just try to keep yourself under control this ti–” Jusis is interrupted again before he can finish, not by another blow to the head but by the soft feeling of Rean’s lips brushing timidly against his own, and he can’t believe that he’s the one standing there frozen right now as Rean, the one whose confusion started this entire situation in the first place, kisses him and leaves his heart fluttering. Rean quickly pulls back, flashing Jusis a brief smile before he breathes out a tense chuckle. Jusis frowns with a huff in disbelief that he’s just been so sorely outdone; he grabs Rean by the shoulders, pulling him close and into another hasty, fervent kiss that leaves him moaning faintly against Jusis’s lips.
Once they break apart once more Jusis smiles, content with his accomplishments, but Rean’s peaceful tranquility fades away, his eyes widening as he fists a free hand into his hair. “…I’m into guys!” he exclaims, loud enough for everyone in the park to hear. “My first date with a guy just started a little while ago, and we already kissed! …Twice! And I loved it!”
“It’s safe to assume it’ll happen again before the night is over,” Jusis asserts, grabbing his drink from the fountain’s ledge as he takes Rean’s hand with the other. “Or, if you’d prefer, we can save that for the second date and focus on getting to know each other first.”
“Second date?” Rean pipes up, not even trying to mask the hopefulness in his voice.
“That is, if you’re also interested,” Jusis adds, quirking his eyebrow questioningly, and Rean immediately shoots him a receptive smile.
“I’d love to,” he agrees, and as they chat together while walking through the park and gazing at the stars, Jusis doesn’t think he’ll be seeing Rean looking lost in that part of the bookstore ever again.