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To Dandy’s credit, he was doing great at pretending nothing was wrong.
Sure, he heard the murmurs in the elevator, and he’d certainly seen how his old friends barrelled towards him to talk. They yearned for answers – the same way he had wanted some kind of answer. A solution to all their woes. Frankly, he was doing them a favor caging himself away. What they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them! If they didn’t know the agony he had seen, had held in his hands and watched spill in black streams of ichor until it felt like it was everywhere… They wouldn’t be like him. He cared. That was exactly why he smiled through tight lips and stayed away.
He was far from stupid. The Toons he’d once considered friends (or, at the bare minimum, coworkers) kept talking about how standoffish he’d been – he even heard them pass the word scary around! He wasn’t scary! He was the furthest thing from scary. Even if he was oh-so-frightening, why were they so upset that he wouldn’t stick around for long, in that case? Maybe they should’ve been grateful the monster under their bed was seeing himself out, all for the small fee of memories that should’ve been his.
That wasn’t why he was acting this way, though. It was for their sake, but not because he was a monster. Of course not! He just… wanted to make things right. There was ichor (too much, too much, too much) on his hands, and now he had to fix things. He was doing a great job, too! Gathering all the tapes to keep the memories alive, making sure everyone had exactly what they needed without interfering with their lives in the slightest… Dandy was such a good friend.
There was just one Toon making his life a lot harder.
Vee.
It wasn’t anything to do with her, outside of… oh, who was he kidding? It was everything about her! She was so much more forward than any of the other Main Toons, so of course she had taken it upon herself to try and impose on his self-isolation. No matter what he did, it seemed like every floor, she had something new to try and say to him just to get him to talk. Nothing ever worked, naturally. Remember? He wasn’t stupid!
(Though maybe he was a little dumb to keep avoiding her and hoping something would change.)
The others had made their attempts, consistent and yet somehow weaker. Vee was always the one leaning half her weight onto the shop table and looking down at him with some mix of frustration and desperation. A silent plea – just say something back! – that he never entertained for longer than a second. What was he going to say, anyway? Argue back with whatever snide comment she had about his wares that day? Absolutely not! His whole goal was to not bite back with sharp teeth and claws the way he had by starting this whole mess.
Oh, he certainly wanted the past back. But the past was full of softness and kindness and warmth, where his and Vee’s little spats were all soothed by laughter at the end that Vee half-heartedly reciprocated. They cared about each other.
There was no universe where Vee still cared about him. If he dared to fall into the hole she dug by speaking to him, then he’d just end up buried in her simmering hate. Not to say he didn’t deserve it. He just had no interest in shouldering that responsibility in any way except his own! He was the star of the show, wasn’t he? It was his call what needed to be done, and this was it. Why was nobody happy with him?
Today was no different. He’d ended up managing a run Vee stubbornly insisted on undertaking alone, in spite of the nervous – or, in Sprout’s case, incredibly forceful – requests from the other Toons. She’d waved them all off with one hand and rolled her eyes, digital mouth twisted into a grimace.
“Let me handle this myself. Just one time. You all act like you don’t trust me or something.”
That was enough to make the group trailing behind her back off, and then it was just Dandy and her on the elevator down. Silently, Dandy wished they didn’t trust her. That he didn’t trust her. Maybe if he had any less faith in her constant goal to figure things out and solve whatever jumbled puzzle made up Dandy’s mind, he could’ve convinced one of the Toons to come with her. As it was, though, she was too confident and Dandy had dug his heels into his repentance long go.
The elevator squealed in complaint as it began its descent. At the very least, Dandy was able to take refuge under the compartment that opened to show off his shop, letting him linger out of sight for some time. A television cast a faint glow over his features, projecting the current image of the floor that the elevator was at from the top of the elevator doors themselves. He couldn’t be bothered to pay it much mind. That meant paying Vee too much attention, and doing that made something vile and warm simmer in his stomach. Like… boiling ichor.
(Or blood-sucking butterflies. Flutter insisted that she and Flyte had no taste for human blood, but Dandy was nowhere near buying it, no matter how amicably he got along with the two Toons.)
With how quickly Vee was able to fix the machines, it was no time at all before Dandy heard the elevator doors slamming shut. That was followed by Vee’s heavy metal footsteps, which he recognized as getting closer and closer to where his shop opened. Fumbling with his hands – at some point they had started shaking, and he had to consciously will them to stop – Dandy pulled the switch and the hatch opened above him.
After hanging out in the dim light, the brightness of the elevator felt like a shock to his system. He tried not to wince at the burning sensation, focusing on Vee as she stood in front of his desk. A band-aid, a stopwatch, and a handful of gumballs. Mediocre, he knew. This was all an obligation. All his way of being serviceable and yet so impeccably unimpactful. If he just remained right on the line between good and evil, just stayed right in the peripherals of everyone’s mind with all he did… Nothing mattered. He could live in his world where everything was calm, and nobody would prove him otherwise.
Beneath the table, his fingers itched to pull the switch and go put on an old episode of his show. Maybe one where Vee didn’t look at him like he was some kind of disobedient dog.
“Shocking. You’re selling something good for once. What’s the occasion?” Her tail flicked, microphone held towards Dandy as though he were the subject of an interview. As she did so, she passed some tapes over to him to cover the cost of the band-aid, which he greedily swept up in his arms. His own fervency only processed in his head when Vee raised an eyebrow at him. Without commenting on it, he leaned back.
Nothing happened if Dandy didn’t say it happened, right?
“My wares are always changing, friend! I try my best to give you just what you need!” He sing-songed. His feet kicked under the table, though he overestimated the room he actually had to swing his feet. They thunked intermittently against the back of the wooden desk, making him wince now and again. He could feel Vee’s judgemental squint on his face without even looking right at her.
“Right,” Vee muttered in that way that meant anything except what she actually said. It was almost enough to push Dandy into urging the truth out of her, though the reminder that Vee wanted that from him kept him away from such a thing. Self-isolation and bringing back the past. Fun for the whole family and good for the whole cast.
The time ticked by almost painfully. Vee deliberated over Dandy’s goods for a while longer, though he felt her gaze on him more than he saw it on the items left on the table. It made his insides twist with that same boiling ichor feeling. He wanted away from it. Away from where anyone could pass judgement, where anyone could possibly know he existed to judge at all. Once more, his hands yearned for the switch to pull his shop back down.
After what felt like endless hours, pale green fingers wrapped around the metal lever.
“Guess that’s all from me, then! See ya s –”
Thud.
Dandy jolted at the sound and immediately searched for the source. Thankfully, it was very easy to find. What he wasn’t grateful for was the quickly-found solution: Vee’s hand on one side of the metal doors around his shop, gripping it like it was a lifeline. Her mouth was twisted into what might’ve been a sneer, were it not for the thinly-veiled concern etched in her slanted eyes. She didn’t like to know that she was easy to read in heated moments.
(Frankly, Dandy didn’t like how easy she was to read, either. Not now.)
“O – Oh?” He chuckled lightly and then leaned back, just in case Vee decided to lunge over the table like the feral animal she was starting to appear as. “Did you need something else? I promise I’ll have more shop stocks next time, teehee –”
“You’re staying right here until I get some answers, Dancifer.” The sound of his own last name on her tongue made his smile slip for just a moment, eyes widening. He recovered appearances quickly, but not quickly enough for Vee not to notice. She huffed the moment his smile returned. For some reason, her contempt was both everything he desired in the moment and also the opposite of what he was desperate to see. Not like this. Not here. Never.
“There’s nothing I can tell you. If I could, I would, y’know? And anyway…” Dandy rocked his head to the side, looking away as though he were nonchalant and whimsical. He, distinctly, felt neither nonchalant nor whimsical about the predicament he was in. “Maybe some things are best left forgotten, right?”
“I can’t forget what you haven’t even told me.” Her grip on the sheet of metal only tightened. “You’re staying, or you can crush my fingers in the hatch and really make yourself look bad. If that’s what you want? Go ahead and do it. I know you aren’t a coward.”
…Hah. For as much of a compliment as that was – coming from Vee, anyhow – Dandy couldn’t bring himself to take pride in it. After all, that was where Vee had made a mistake. He was a coward. Even if he went through with hurting her – the mere thought was making the boiling ichor sensation creep up his throat, scalding, burning – then it’d still be because he was too scared to look reality in the eyes. Every day, he saw the red-and-black eyes and inky black monsters of his own creation. Every day, he looked away. Every day, he chose cowardice.
“Fine,” he said, because it was the only reply he could imagine that wasn’t a lie.
Unexpectedly, that caused a wave of relief to wash over Vee. She slumped over a bit, shoulders relaxing just enough to be obvious. The expression on her screen shifted to one still distinctly condescending without being as obviously infuriated as her previous one. Progress… of some sort. He could take her ire. If it didn’t cause her harm, he’d take all her rage and bitterness. As long as things were okay. Normal, even, if he could beg for so much.
Normalcy was a dying dream, though. A lot of dreams on Gardenview’s shooting stars felt like that, these days.
“Finally. I’ve been trying to talk to you for – do you even know how long it’s been?”
“There’s really no point in keeping track! Time just makes you worry. That doesn’t look good on ya, Vee.” Helpfully, he omitted the details of him keeping calendars that he ritualistically crossed out dates on until he got too upset about the matter. Since then, he only kept a calendar that stayed eternally in the year 2000. A happier year. A better year. Nothing else mattered. Time just made him worry.
Vee didn’t take his answer as easily as he would’ve liked. She looked down at him, cocked her head, lashed her tail, then eventually graced him with a response. Jeez, why did she put so much effort into making him feel terrified?
(...Or maybe he just felt that way around everyone – nope! No, no, no! That was a big emotion, and he was never made to handle big emotions! Kids having tantrums were to be reported to a Toon Handler for comfort and necessary consequences. The Toons weren’t cut out for that.)
“I’m worrying anyway.” What a nice statement. Dandy tried to keep his eye from twitching. “Speaking of worry – you’ve really been giving anyone who thinks about you plenty of reasons to, you know. You keep running. It isn’t like you. What’s the problem?”
Silence was the response she was granted. Dandy looked between her fingers, digging into the metal with growing agitation, and her screen, the perfect visage of a woman caught between worlds etched onto it. Her sneer returned at his lack of words.
“Dandy –” She lifted a hand and dragged it down her screen, fingers curling at the bottom. “Give me something. Anything. I need to know.”
Once again, Dandy was quiet. After another pause where he was sure Vee would’ve stormed off were she any less dedicated, he mumbled something under his breath.
“I don’t know why you’re starting to care now, haha –”
“What?” The way she seethed out those words, pushing them out of her speakers like it was painful, made it clear the question was rhetorical. Dandy pushed his chair back slightly and looked up at Vee through half-lidded eyes, his grin feeling more and more forced. It hurt. This was just what had to be done, though. Push them all away and live in the world where they were happy. That was all he’d ever wanted! If they couldn’t be happy now, then nothing involving him would ever be good.
Why did Vee care so much about letting evil in through the door?
“It’s just the truuuth, Vee! C’mon! When have you wanted to listen to me lately, right?” He waved his finger in a circle before pressing it against the side of her head. She stiffened at the contact, but curiously didn’t jerk away. Ah, well. Probably just so she didn’t lose her grip on the shop hatch… even if Dandy was starting to lose any desire to escape, now.
“Are you – Dandy,” every word she said was forced out and deliberate, her free hand clenched into a tight fist, “I constantly try and talk to you. Every. Single. Ride. On this terrible elevator. What do you mean, when have I wanted to – that’s all I’ve been trying to do! Am I not enough for you or something?! What do I have to do to make you talk to me?!”
…It was almost irritating how much of a cold splash of water that statement felt like. Dandy felt his smile drop, the only indication being that his face didn’t hurt as much as it had a moment earlier. Vee was utterly infuriated at this point, tail twitching and grasp on the metal door tight enough to dent it. The sight of it only made the sinking feeling far, far worse.
“Vee, c’mon, that’s not –” He started, then backtracked and tried again under the pressure of her glare. “I’m just sayin’! The last Toon ya wanna see is the one who’s made this all so… messy, right? I’m really doin’ you a favor, here. D… Don’t make me start feeling bad now. Please.”
If nothing else, Dandy’s earnestness seemed to alleviate some of Vee’s anger. Her tail dropped to the ground with the screech of the microphone’s frequency, fingers loosening just the slightest bit. She still didn’t budge. Dandy’s cowardice wouldn’t be questioned for now.
(He didn’t want to prove her wrong and disappear under the glow of the television once again. Even seeing her old episodes would only make him think of her heart breaking.)
Now the silence was on Vee’s end, the only noise being her own simulated and shallow breaths that ripped through her voicebox. He fidgeted under the pressure she had put on him until she spoke, voice measured and yet somehow reluctant.
“...Why do you think I hate you so much?”
“Wh – Vee, friend, I never –”
“Shut up.” Compliantly, Dandy did exactly that. “For you to think I would constantly try and speak to you every day and still not want to hear anything from you, you’d either have to be stupid or think I wanted you dead. The problem is… you aren’t stupid. I should know. So you must think I have some…” Her hand moved around, then stopped with the palm splayed upward. “...bizarre issue with you breathing my air.”
“Actually –”
“I don’t breathe. You don’t need to tell me. Don’t get on semantics right now, Dandy, or I’m kicking you out of your own shop.”
“Oh. Heard!”
“Good.” Vee moved to cross her arms before realizing why she had her hand up in the first place. Eyes on the screen flickered down to Dandy’s hand, which rested in his lap uneasily. She blinked at him and cocked an eyebrow, asking a silent question – can I trust you?
“Where do ya think I’m goin’, friend?”
With that answer, Vee folded her arms comfortably over her chest. Dandy beamed up at her. She didn’t return it.
“You didn’t answer my question. Why do you keep doing this? You run away from everyone. You keep talking like I want you splattered on a wall somewhere. What’s the matter with you?” While Vee’s tone rarely shifted from anything beyond an unconcerned monotone and blistering rage, Dandy swore he picked up a hint of genuine concern. If she kept talking how she was, he might’ve almost started to think she wanted to know the answer!
But… no. No, no, no! It was all too much. If she knew, she would wish she didn’t. Dandy would be back to isolation, ten times worse than before – all because he dared to acknowledge the horrors beyond the layers of metal and steel. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t? Did the will he had in the matter even make a difference by now?
“Can’t a Toon just take responsibility for once?” More than he wanted to say. Just the impact of the words as they rolled off his tongue made him shift uncomfortably, and Vee’s shift in expression made him feel no better.
“Dandy. If you’re involved in this, I…” She stopped, fingers clenching her bicep. Then, her gaze flickered away in the slightest show of uncertainty. “You aren’t evil. I know you aren’t. You wouldn’t be hiding if you got some kind of thrill out of this. There’s something going on in your head. I just – please tell me, Dandy. I –” Her voice cut out and promptly picked back up. “The other Toons miss you. They need the star of the show back. They’re all kind of… really embarrassingly aimless without you.”
The slip-up didn’t go unnoticed. For now, though, it went unmentioned. Dandy could almost guarantee Vee would drop everything if he gave any hint that she might’ve boldly insinuated she cared. Either way, Dandy didn’t believe it much himself, so he supposed it didn’t matter. Given Vee seemed to think he hated her, he’d call it an even playing field.
“It’s… complicated, Vee. I just want things to be normal again, is that too much to ask?” He shot her a pleading look not too dissimilar to when Pebble begged for treats. Vee had never been very weak to that, so he probably shouldn’t have been shocked that she only rolled her eyes in reply.
A finger was jabbed all too close to his chest without touching. “Right. Because things are ever going to be normal while screwed-up versions of ourselves are running around causing problems. I forgot that you’ll just run away and make it all better by staring really hard at that television of yours. Who knows? Maybe you’ll invent time travel down there.”
“You’re not very good at reassuring Toons, Vee.”
“I wasn’t trying to reassure you. You’re being stupid and it’s out of character for you. Clearly, you have some kind of concussion I need to knock you out of.”
“I… also don’t think that’s how you fix a concussion, friend!”
She blinked, then jerked her fist away. “I knew that.” Without missing a beat, she continued in stride: “I’m trying to say that you leaving us to rot in Gardenview while you do your hiding routine isn’t fixing anything. We can’t do much without your help. Especially if you’re the one who knows the most about this situation… which isn’t saying much. None of us know much of anything. Rodger’s trying, but… it’s slow going.” She paused, then added, “That’s his way of saying he’s getting nowhere, for the record.”
“You act like I just forgot about you all, haha!”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
That was yet another punch to the gut. Dandy fell silent alongside Vee, wringing his hands awkwardly. Part of him wanted to pull the lever and ditch this entire encounter like he’d desired at the start. The better half of him, though, willed him to stay, because what other choice was there that didn’t leave Vee despairing for the rest of her life? He just couldn’t bring himself to curse her like that. He’d caused enough strife, hadn’t he?
“So,” Dandy started, fake coughing into a fist, “you’re… really that curious, huh?”
“More than anything,” Vee said, her voice uncharacteristically genuine.
“Right. Right, right, riiiight… I, um,” he shifted, “I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready to say all that, friend. It’s – a lot happened. A lot! And it isn’t that I don’t want to help! I – I’ve just – I’m doin’ really good at looking away from it, trying to make it all better, and…” His shoulders fell. “Now I’m looking at it all. And it hurts. S – So, uh, I just… I can explain, but… give me time?”
For a brief moment, Vee tensed up, fingers digging into the metal of her own arms before she relented just as swiftly. With an exaggerated, staticky sigh, she nodded, antennae bobbing. Thank the stars, Dandy thought in passing.
“Fine. I can work with that. But you have to show your face more around everyone, at least. You’re just going to keep getting caught in whatever you miss if you keep running away. I’m not letting it go on. Is that clear?” Her eyes narrowed as she studied Dandy, surely looking for any hint of dishonesty on his face. Lucky for him, he was the most honest Toon alive!
(...Besides all of this. Everything happening since the malfunction didn’t count. And maybe a little before that, too…)
“Pinky promise, Vee! You can count on me!” Just for emphasis, he jutted out his pinky finger as he winked. He hadn’t expected for Vee to reciprocate just as he went to pull back, her own finger hooking around his. The look of it made him chuckle – the two of them, doing such a friendly gesture after so long. In a way, it was reassuring.
Somehow, he was almost more upset she wanted to help him than he ever had been over her hating him. Something to work on, he supposed.
“I don’t believe you yet. That shouldn’t mean anything, though.” She shrugged one shoulder and looked away, hand lowering. “Whether I believe you or not, you have a lot of making up to do, just so you know. Everyone has questions. You could fill up about five guest starrings on my game show alone, at this rate…”
“Ooooh! I’m going to be a star in your show?! You’re flattering me over here, friend!” He fanned himself with a hand. Vee scoffed.
“Oh, shut up. You know I was being sarcastic.”
“But it’s much more fun when I play along, right?”
In a way that seemed as though she was trying to force it down, Vee smiled, gaze softening as much as it could on her screen. “...A little, I guess.” And then the subject was swiftly dismissed as Vee backed off from the shop counter. “That’s all I wanted to hear, really. We can go back up now.”
Dandy couldn’t help but blink in surprise, sitting up. “Wait, you… just went on this whole run to talk to me? Jeez, friend… I didn’t know I was so special!”
“The entire show is based on you, Dandy. You hear how special you are every day.”
“This is different! You did it because we’re friends!”
The word got Vee to sigh, though she didn’t object to it. That was new.
“If you say so. Just… bring the elevator back up to Gardenview’s lobby. You need to get out of this elevator anyway. How long has it been since you actually went to any of our rooms?”
How long had it been? Now Dandy wished he at least had his calendars from before, regardless of the complicated emotions they’d surely stir up inside him. Were they even accurate, or had he lost track long before scrapping them?
…Ugh! Too many thoughts, waaaay too many thoughts! He shook his head and hoped they’d fly out of his petals like some kind of pesky bugs.
“Long enough that I wanna see ‘em again! What, are you taking me to yours?” Dandy tilted his head. “Wow, Vee… I didn’t know you were so forward! Should I be putting on a suit for the occasion?”
“Wh –” For the first time since Scraps’ winning streak, Vee seemed genuinely flustered. Her antennae sparked with some kind of green electricity, tail shooting straight up like a startled cat before lowering and lashing back and forth. Dandy had to try very hard not to snicker at the sight. “I’m leaving you to hang out with Shrimpo if you keep talking like that.”
“He wouldn’t even let me in his room! That’s barely a threat.”
“Ugh, true…”
With Vee’s short-lived temper diffused and the conversation simmering down, Dandy moved to hit another button to take the elevator back up. He didn’t control the elevator’s constant downward movement – that was what the machines were for! – but he could call off a run at any time! It just seemed he never was asked to until there was ichor on the floor.
Familiar.
The elevator lurched and started on its upward journey. Occasionally, Dandy and Vee would meet each other’s gazes while stealing glances, but they always broke eye contact shortly after. Dandy couldn’t shake that boiling-ichor feeling once again, and the staring only made it worse. Didn’t he have enough on his plate?
After what felt a lot longer than it really was, Dandy’s forgotten wares shuddered and stopped as the elevator doors slid open. Vee’s posture relaxed the moment she was out of the metal prison, especially as she caught a glimpse of Shelly and Astro approaching to greet her. Dandy watched from behind his table as the three talked, comments about how quickly she’d returned being passed around.
Only after Vee looked his way did all eyes fall on Dandy. For someone so used to being in the spotlight, he found himself especially tense under the prying eyes that certainly did not want him there. And yet, Vee appeared unfazed by the sudden attention on her companion, gesturing lazily in his direction.
“I got him to talk. He said he wants to help us out… somewhat. I’ll explain more later. Right now? I just don’t want him running off on us again.” A deserved amount of distrust, though it still made Dandy chuckle nervously. Vee raised an eyebrow on her screen. “Are you coming, or what?”
“On my way!” Dandy chirped as he pulled himself over the counter of his shop. He could tell Astro and Shelly were beyond baffled at his eagerness, but Vee made a shushing gesture at them. For that, he was as grateful as they were confused.
Vee’s hand wrapped around his wrist, and before he could do more than glance around the nostalgic scenery of Gardenview, he was being tugged away. His stationary shop passed him by, followed by Vee turning into the entryway lobby, then stopping at another elevator. She hit the button and waited for the elevator to descend, not releasing Dandy for a moment.
“You’re staying with me until we know you’re safe. I don’t trust anyone else enough.” She paused. “I don’t even know if I trust myself eno –” Her voice cut out and she shook her head. “Forget about it. I’m taking care of you. I… We can’t have you leaving us again.”
“If ya missed me so much, you should’ve said so, friend!”
“I tried.”
The unusual solemness in Vee’s tone got Dandy to stop talking for a bit. Vee’s foot tapped impatiently on the ground, the elevator taking unusually long to arrive. At least that gave Dandy a bit more time to make up for what had already been wasted.
“Hey, Vee?”
“Mmhm?”
“...I missed this.”
A beat passed. Vee glanced over her shoulder at Dandy, blinking slowly at him as though the words were a foreign language. Then, she offered a lopsided smile.
“Yeah, yeah. I missed you too.”
A ding. The elevator arrived and Vee half-dragged, half-led Dandy inside. This time, when the doors slammed shut and the box started its ascent, the atmosphere felt a lot less tense.
…And still, Dandy couldn’t shake that horribly warm feeling in his chest.