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To sacrifice is to do anything just for that cause. To give up something precious in return, is the role of sacrificing. To give up your look and form of one of the enemy is everything you fear and forever you look in the mirror and see the one who hurt you and your best friend.
No longer can he breathe normally or stare at himself because the mirror shows the face of the person that tricked him.
But Sora didn't care. He stared at him with the most lovestruck eyes that were filled with so much warmth as he held his best friend’s hands, “I don't care what face you wear or how much you have changed, you're still Riku to me.”
Riku wanted to break down into tears at that moment. Sora didn't hate him? Did he not blame him for everything that happened? After all he did, how could Sora just look at him and tell him it's alright.
He sucked back any tears that threatened to spill, he couldn't cry now— not in front of Sora. Riku relaxed when Sora hugged him, everything Sora did felt better.
The organization was finished and it was just the two of them and Riku still had the face of the enemy, but he was injured. Despite being how he was, Sora lifted him up and helped him walk.
They came to a place in darkness, so this was it. He was destined to only be in darkness after all? Riku hated that he brought Sora with him, he deserves much better — the light
Sora leaned his head onto his shoulder— “You know, when I'm with you I feel that I can do anything. It doesn't matter where we are as long as I'm with you then I'll know we'll be alright.”
Riku smiled at those words, “Sora…”
He looked up at him and he offered him a smile, “Together we can do anything.”
Riku nodded, “Yeah, you're right. You know, I'm sorry.”
Sora blinked, “Oh… I already forgave you, you know. You don't have to apologize.”
“But I hurt you! I hurt you and everyone on the islands. I brought our home to darkness because I was jealous of you and K..” Riku stopped himself before he sighed quietly, “I was jealous of how you could freely listen to your heart and made so many friends.”
“Riku, they're your friends too..” he gave Riku a comforting smile as he squeezed his hand.
Riku's heart felt heavy, “I know.”
“Well Riku sometimes I wish I was like you too.” Sora took that moment to lay back on the sand, while closing his eyes, “You're just so cool sometimes.”
Riku continued to blush, “No I'm.. You don't want to be like me cause then you… can't be my friend.” Riku decided with a small smile, “If you're me, then you can't be my friend.”
“and if you weren't Riku, you couldn't be my friend either.” Sora decided as he held happy thoughts. He was okay with how he was and besides he got to be the other’s friend and there wasn't anything more special than that.
They both closed their eyes, holding each other's hands and we're content. Riku may not look like himself but in his heart Sora saw him as who he was— a friend.
Riku still wore that organization cloak. He didn't like his appearance despite Sora being okay with it. He didn't want anyone else to see him either. None of his old clothes fit and his body wasn't his.
He tried cutting his hair— that went horribly.
He screamed at the sight of his face and hair and would get panicked quite easily.
He tried buying clothes that were Ansem's size— it was also bad.
No clothes would fit and seeing the body of another person — the person being Ansem in particular made him sick.
He tried dying his hair in hopes it would help him difference Ansem and this body.
It was another bad idea. He couldn't bare to look at himself and his hair color stood out. He only had silver hair— he likes that hair and it was the hair he was born with.
Everything reminded him of whose face he wore. At night, he would often have panic attacks screaming for hours.
He would get nightmares of destroying the islands and hurting Sora— he often got a lot of nightmares regarding that. He didn't want to hurt him.
He dreamed of how he hurt Roxas— the regret and guilt he still felt because he didn't know any other way to save Sora. He wanted to meet Sora yet he was gone because of him. He crushed the life out of Roxas with the guardian Ansem had and as punishment for his sins, now forever he will be like this.
He screamed again at night, tossing and turning. Feeling in his heart that something was wrong, Sora stood outside his window. There he threw rocks up at the window and instantly he had a feeling that Riku wasn't doing well. Not waiting for Riku to wake up or answer, he climbed up to his window and went inside. There he laid by Riku's side and held him tightly, “It's okay. Shhh… It's going to be okay.” He continued to press his face against the crook of his neck.
Being affectionate like this was somewhat awkward for Sora too despite it being still Riku to him, but what can you do when your best friend looks like the person who hurt all your friends and tried to bring darkness to the worlds?
Sora’s learned how to comfort Riku at a young age. He had gotten nightmares in the past. Sora would often soothe him and hold him tightly, making sure he was alright.
Riku woke up with a start. He was breathing heavily as his chest rose up and down. He saw Sora holding him tightly and gasped.
“S-sora? What are you doing here?” He frowned. It's not that he didn't want him there even though a part of him was still afraid, what if he accidentally hurt Sora?
“Making sure you're alright.” Sora whispered quietly, “I could tell you weren't sleeping well lately. You used to have nightmares when we were younger so I thought I would be there for you just like them…”
Riku smiled softly. He hated how thoughtful and sweet Sora always was. It's why he fell in love with him all those years ago. “You don't need to worry, I'm okay.”
“Are you sure?” Sora pressed a kiss to Riku's cheek.
Riku was going to faint from that.
“Wait Sora.. Please stay at night ” He held Sora's hand while also hiding his blush.
Sora had agreed.
Riku was sitting at the paopu tree looking at the distance. Was he going to be like this forever?
He stared at his hands— they were now much older and had the aura of darkness lingering onto them.
Sora was right besides him sleeping on his shoulder. He loved him, Riku thought. He didn't deserve his friendship, yet he even loved him way more than a friend. However, just like this he was content.
Just at that moment Kairi came running to the two of them, “Riku! Sora! You both are being summoned to Yen Sid’s tower.”
Sora woke up. “We're needed? Hooray!” Sora jumped up, “I was getting a little restless not doing much.”
Riku and Kairi laughed.
“Sora could never sit still could he, unless he was sleeping.” Kairi grinned.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Sora frowned at her words.
Riku, however, looked at Kairi, “Are you…” but he didn't have to finish the thought, for she answered his question.
“No.. I'm not needed I guess.” She looked down, “I wish I could go with you two. I feel like I'm always being left behind.”
Sora frowned, “Hey, I'll tell Yen Sid that I'm not going to do anything unless he tells you to join us! That old man can freeze unless he includes you too.”
Kairi smiled, “Thanks Sora, but it's alright.”
Riku looked at himself and sighed, “I wish he didn't have to see me like this.”
His friends looked down, they both knew it was affecting Riku badly. They also didn't know how the old master would react to Riku being in the form of darkness only wearing Ansem's body instead of his own.
Sora was saying his goodbyes to everyone as Riku stared in the mirror. If he could just close his eyes he could see himself again. His hair had grown so long. He held the scissors up— his eyes still closed— there he began to cut it.
It was time for new beginnings. He wasn't just darkness. Snip. He walked the road to dawn. Snip. He would protect Sora. Snip. He wore Ansem's face but he would do anything to make up for everything. Snip.
He went outside and saw Sora was still saying his goodbyes.
Riku, whose parents haven't been one in years— way before he destroyed his home watched as Sora gave one last hug to his mom. He then promised he would be back.
Sora's mom hugged Riku too which surprised him, “Now Riku, you come back safe too. Stay together and try not to get hurt.”
Riku stared in surprised and nodded, “Yes ma'am.”
Riku and Sora road the gummiship to the tower. “Hey Sora I…”. Riku paused, his heart felt warm. He almost accidentally told Sora how he loved him.
Sora nodded, “Yes?”
He smiled as the ship arrived, “Thank you for being here with me all these past few months.”
He grinned. “Of course.”
When they found Yen Sid, Mickey and the others were already there.
They were last? Great.
Master Yen Sid told them about becoming proper Master’s.
“Wait, we saved the world almost twice and we aren't considered master's yet? I'm not taking some stupid exam for that.” Sora crossed his arms and pouted.
Riku, however, had a different stance. He kept staring at his hands and couldn't help remembering how he looked. “Maybe we do need this exam. The darkness still has a grip over me and maybe I do need to be challenged.”
Sora looked over at Riku, “Well if Riku is then so am I. We're both going to path just you wait!”
Something was terribly wrong. Riku has gone through all kinds of worlds with his newly acquainted dream eaters — he even named one Sora with how much it reminded him of his best friend — and he had a bad feeling.
Their hearts were in tune, Mickey told him. That's right, together they could always feel each other. They were each other's destinies.
All the worlds helped show him, he is okay. It's okay to use a little darkness. It's still okay to have some things kept a secret.
He loved Sora and that's not wrong either. His darkness wasn't bad, that makes him who he was.
However, he could barely sense Sora anymore.
He even appeared in the castle that never was. He didn't know why he was there. Riku felt Sora close by. What was he doing there?
Just then he saw Sora floating. He ran straight to him, “Wait up Sora! Wake up from the dreams!”. The hooded figure laughed and told him he was his dream eater and Riku had even dived subconsciously because he had a feeling Sora was in danger. He held Sora's hands, “Sora wake up I'm… I'm here for you.” Riku whispered softly, Sora didn't wake.
He ate the nightmares that's been hurting Sora. Riku held him in his arms quietly and he leaned down. These worlds were fairy tales after all. He kissed Sora once, “I love you. I love you so much more than what a friend could love their best friend. I was afraid to love you or to admit that I did for the longest time, but I'm not afraid anymore and I know I love you." Riku smiled gently with the warmest eyes, "I love your smile and how you always make me feel better. Despite everything that has happened, you're still with me so please be okay.” He carefully caressed his cheek, “Stay safe, your heart seems so far away. Please Sora, don't chase the nightmares anymore. They will drive you deeper down, I don't want to lose you. I love you..” He kissed him twice.
Once was not enough.
The third time, he shared a kiss and a light developed him. Sora was about to awaken and he even saw his eyes fluttering a bit. However, he started to be forced to fall deeper into the darkness and Riku watched as he could do nothing as Sora disappeared. Riku also noticed something felt different. He felt lighter and happier almost. His heart was racing, he had kissed Sora. That must have been it, right? He touched his lips and he noticed his hands— they were normal. He suddenly felt his clothes and hair which was back to how he used to be.
His body was back and he didn't feel the intense body dysphoria anymore.
“I'm back…” Riku smiled and he had one final thing left to do, “Sora I will save you.”
…
Sora laid in Riku's arms as he held him. He brushed his hair out of his face and smiled, Sora always slept peacefully as if there were no problems in the world. He kissed his forehead before diving into the dreams once more. When Riku finally awakened, Sora was having cake.
Riku was surprised at Sora's antics, but at the same time not really.
“Riku! You're safe and look at you!” Sora grinned at his friend's appearance.
He smiled, “I'm back..”
Sora rushed to hug him, “You’re safe! I knew you could do it!”
Riku rubbed his eyes, “Everything feels backwards. Sora, are you—”
He was interrupted by Sora hugging him and he gave up. “Riku, I remember hearing your voice in the dream. It was like I was watching you.”
Riku averted his eyes and remembered everything he said. He had told those that he cherished Sora with all his heart as he was precious to him. “You were… watching me? You heard my voice?”
He nodded and closed his eyes, “Yeah, it was comforting especially when I was unable to escape the dreams.”
Riku blushed at his words, “You're welcome?” Riku saw at the corner of his eye Kairi giving him a thumbs up.
Sora then looked down as he remembered Riku's confession. “Hey Riku? I love you too,” This time Sora kissed Riku and crossed the line.