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English
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Published:
2025-05-03
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715
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1/1
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Dr. D's Paid Intern

Summary:

You know that feeling when you reply to a job listing for a self-proclaimed 'evil scientist' and like cool its great benefit wtvr. But then you find out hes got a nemesis too? A nemesis that is a semi- aquatic egg laying mammal of action?
No?
Well now Danny has apparently

Notes:

Liketolaugh-writes on Tumblr had a thought. The thought plauged me. This is the result. Enjoy!

Work Text:

There was a crash, a bang, and a loud whirring that sounded suspiciously like one of Dr. D’s inators firing up. A disappointing and concerning series of sounds considering Danny had just stepped into the other room to find that socket wrench he could’ve sworn he saw on the coffee table. 

Another crash and Danny was bolting back into the lab to make sure his boss hadn’t somehow toppled the humongous machine they had been tinkering with for the past seven hours. What he found instead was something his brain could only classify as a ‘scuffle’.

Also a platypus. For some reason. It was wearing a fedora.

Both sets of eyes snapped to him. A tiny teal fist stopping midair on its way to punching Dr. D in the face.

“Oh there you are Danny!” Dr. D exclaimed, his collar still caught in the semi-aquatic egg laying mammal’s tiny fist. “Danny, this is my nemesis Perry the Platypus. Perry the platypus, this is my new intern Danny!” he introduced. 

The platypus looked between the two of them before settling a glare on Doofenshmirtz. 

“What, he’s paid! Benefits and everything! Tell him Danny!” The platypus raised an eyebrow condescendingly (Do platypi even have eyebrows?? Can they even look Condescending?. Danny didn’t even know at this point.)

“Um,” he cleared his throat. “Yeah, benefits; I get them. A whole hour for lunch, uh four weeks PTO a year. Up to date OSHA compliance..” he listed feeling one hundred percent not at all weird or judged by this tiny teal thing.

“See, Perry the Platypus!” Doof yelled, probably too loud for their proximity but Perry the Platypus didn’t so much as flinch. “I may be evil but I still pay my employees well. That’s better than stuck up Monobrow can say!” 

Perry rolled his eyes (Seriously! Could platypi even do that?!?! ) and jumped of Dr. D’s chest, stepping back to cross his arms grumpily as if waiting for something. That something soon happened as Dr. D pulled a remote out of his lab coat and pressed a big red button, springing a cage around his nemesis with entirely too much zeal.

“Aha! Perry the Platypus you have fallen for my trap once again!” He shouted. Perry looked very unimpressed and, in fact, rather resigned. Danny got the impression that this was somewhat of a routine for this Mad scientist and-

“Sorry, what are you?” Danny interrupted. 

Dr. D looked over at him confused. “He’s a platypus?” 

“No no, I got that part but what’s with the fedora?” he pointed. 

“Oh, well, how do I explain this-” The Dr. was cut off by the platypus pulling out a pamphlet from his hat and holding it out to Danny. Danny took it.

‘So You’ve Got A New Nemesis!’ It read in bright bold colors. The pamphlet itself outlined the specific of what to expect from a nemesisship as it was so called, and the different regulations that a ‘Secret Agent’ was expected to follow. Danny flipped through it in interest before handing it back to Perry the Platypus who nodded in appreciation and slipped it back into his hat.

Danny turned to Doof. “Is fighting secret agents in my job description?” he asked. He hadn’t seen it on the job listing but he needed to ask in case it was one of those implied duties that all the other jobs he applied to had. 

Dr. D looked scandalized. “Of course not! I would not require you to fight my nemesis, you’re just my lab assistant!” He shook his head, “You’re welcome to take your lunch now if you want, this shouldn’t take more than an hour. Now Perry the Platypus, where were we? Ah Yes! Behold! The dead-leaf-crunchinator!”

Danny shook his head as he wandered back to the kitchen where he’d left his bag that morning. He’d already listened to Dr. D rant about how disappointed he got when some fallen leaves gave a less than adequate crunching sound when you stepped on them; and quite honestly, he didn’t need to listen to that again. But he supposed such was to be expected when you answered a job listing for a mad scientist’s lab assistant. 

Maybe he’d get sushi for lunch, there was this great place a couple blocks down.