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Within the Fade, the Rivaini Seer shone brightly, projecting her presence. Spirits gathered, milling about the gathered mortals on the other side of the Veil curiously. It was difficult to tell how many mortals were there; the Seer herself was hard to miss, but beyond her…
“Is that a child of the Stone?” a little speck of Curiosity wondered, dancing around the squat figure. “Feels like… a half-forgotten connection to something greater.”
“Who cares?” Ambition scoffed, circling a slightly taller figure who glimmered faintly with his own light. “Feel this one. He isn’t drawing upon our realm, but ohhhh, can you feel it? He most certainly can.”
Curiosity flitted toward the brighter figure, but immediately recoiled. “Ach!” it sputtered. “What’s that?”
Ambition felt its attention drawn in the direction Curiosity had been trying to go… and found a space that was… empty? “Huh,” it murmured. “There are places like that in circles to the south, and in prisons to the west.”
Quietly, an ancient spirit of Compassion passed between Ambition and Curiosity, drifting toward the empty space. “I think this is the reason the Seer has asked for us,” it said gently. “There’s a lost mortal here, cut off from itself. From our realm.”
Ambition and Curiosity both drew back in shock. “What?” Ambition demanded, irritable.
“Why?” Curiosity wondered, appalled.
Compassion said nothing, but as it entered into the empty space, the others felt a glimmer of the connection they were used to feeling from mortal magic users on the other side of the Veil. Slowly, Compassion moved past it, toward the Seer.
“I will inquire,” it said. “Curiosity, linger near the lost one, will you? Your presence, I think, will help clarify something on the other side.”
It drifted toward the Seer and let her feel its presence. A moment later, she invited it in.
~~~
Grey Wardens Antoine and Evka Ivo stood on either side of their newest recruit, watching warily as Rivaini Seer Rowan sent out a call into the Fade. Antoine winced, feeling the Veil resonate with her call.
“Are you sure that is safe?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” Rowan answered placidly. A gentle smile spread as she went on, “Ahhh, there is Curiosity. Ambition.” She drew in a soft breath. “Compassion. Good. Compassion is here. It would like a word. Will you speak with it?”
“Us?” Evka asked, uncertain.
“You will speak for your comrade,” Rowan answered.
Between them, the young elf stirred faintly. Her branded brow furrowed slightly, the first sign of emotion she’d shown since the Wardens’ arrived. “I may speak for myself,” she said serenely. “I am Tranquil; that does not mean I am incapable of understanding, nor that I am Grey Warden property to be spoken for.”
Rowan nodded. “I am sorry,” she said. “I have had no experience with those made Tranquil. Will you speak with Compassion?”
The elf studied her for a moment, then asked, “As a Tranquil, how can I?”
Rowan smiled, closed her eyes, and drew in a prolonged breath. As she released it slowly, her eyes opened again. Deep within her pupils, a faint blue light glowed.
“Hello,” she said softly. “The Seer has granted me temporary residence within her. I am Compassion.”
“Merde!” Antoine murmured under his breath.
But a flicker of… Curiosity showed in his elven companion’s expression. “How does that work?” she asked.
“Our kind need consent to inhabit one of your kind,” Compassion explained. “There are those of us who attempt to coerce your kind into giving that consent. Others will not, will come when invited, or for very specific reasons. My reason: to speak with you. You are… what is it called?”
“Tranquil,” the elf answered. “My connection to the Fade has been severed.”
Rowan’s eyes slid sideways as if she was listening to someone else. Then she returned her attention to the elf and Compassion said, “My companion, Curiosity wishes to understand why this was done to you.”
The elf fell silent for a moment. “Were I in possession of my full range of emotion, I would find this difficult to talk about. In deference to who I was, I will not fully explain. In short, I believed my physical safety was at risk and so I attempted to run away from my Circle. Because I managed to get farther than most, I was deemed a high flight risk.”
Within Rowan, Compassion shuddered. “They would cut you off from self for that?”
The elf offered a ghost of a smile, like someone who knew the emotion that should accompany her words, but could no longer feel it. “I did leave the moment it was my decision to make once more,” she said. “It seems they were right.”
The Seer’s expression grew troubled, then thoughtful. Finally, Compassion said, “If I could restore your connection to self, to the Fade, what would you do?”
The elf regarded the Seer. “Can you?”
“I can,” the spirit answered.
“Some choose Tranquility,” the elf said, “for fear of what might happen to them if they don’t. Low power, high risk. I was not one of them. I would never have chosen this. I never wanted it. I do not know how it will feel if you do this… but I do believe I can be a better Grey Warden if you do. I think we will have to risk it.”
Compassion smiled. “You will burn brightly until you stabilize. I will call others to join us, to protect you until you can do it yourself again.”
Again, with a ghost of a smile, the elf quietly said, “Thank you.”
The blue glow in Rowan’s eyes faded and she studied the Warden trio for a moment. Then she said, “The spirits have gathered quickly. Compassion is ready. Are you?”
The elf tilted her head to one side. Her eyes widened slightly. “No. But I do not think I can be.”
Rowan smiled. “Well answered. It begins.”
Evka’s grip on her hammer tightened. To the elf’s other side, Antoine tensed. But for a moment, the elf did not react. Then her vacant half-smile faded, her breathing shallowed. Abruptly, she fell to her hands and knees. Her expression shifted from peaceful contemplation to deeply troubled. Then, for the first time in nearly a decade, the elf - Nylah Royce - felt the full weight of her emotions.
And under their weight, she collapsed.
Antoine gave a sharp cry and dropped to his knees at her side. Evka glowered up at Rowan and demanded, “What did you do?”
For the first time since they met, Rowan looked uncertain. “Compassion has never given me reason to doubt it,” she said softly. “We must trust that this is what was meant to happen.”
“Must we?” Antoine asked, rolling Nylah over onto her back. Sightless, her eyes stared blankly into the sky, and Antoine pressed a hand against her forehead. “Maker, she’s burning up. Her mind is a battlefield. She’s being Harrowed as we speak.”
“She’s what?” Evka shrieked. “She hasn’t been trained in almost a decade! Get her out of there!”
“I cannot,” Rowan said solemnly. “This is her fight, and she has all the allies she needs within. There is nothing more we can do.”
~~~
Nylah screamed until she ran out of breath. Then she drew in another and screamed again. Compassion flitted nearby, exchanging concerned feelings with Curiosity.
“Is… is she supposed to be doing that?” Curiosity wondered.
“It’s not unlikely,” Compassion answered slowly. “But it is loud.”
The gathered allies shifted restlessly around her as she bounded suddenly to her feet, fixed her eyes on the nearest spirit - Truth - and her screams turned into words.
“-took me through a ritual they claimed would save my life! Only it’s just slowed down my inevitable death! And Darkspawn blood tastes AWFUL!”
“The Wardens did not say it would save you from dying,” Truth observed, flitting down toward her ankles. A pair of spectral hands clasped around them. “They said it would slow the Blight. And it has. You are alive, are you not? All your kind die. But you’ve been given more time. That isn’t nothing.”
With a faint chuckle, it added, “Darkspawn blood would be awful, though. I cannot argue against that.” Gently, it reached down and prised the spectral hand of Betrayal free of her ankle as Nylah continued to scream, her voice taking on a panicked edge.
“-no, no, no, what are you doing? No, please. Nora, don’t leave! Don’t take her, please!”
Courage stood face-to-face with Fear, and said quietly, “They did, and you fled, and there is nothing shameful about that. Indeed, there’s something incredibly brave about it. Knowing what the punishment would be if you were caught, you did it anyway.”
Fear falters in Courage’s face, then withdraws as Nylah’s tone changes again.
“-burn them, smash them! Crush them into paste!” Nylah snapped. “Let them feel the weight of what they’ve done to us. Annul them!”
“Hello, Rage,” Compassion sang softly. “Driven into a frenzy, uncontrolled, overpowering. Unable to care if those you target actually deserve it.”
“Some do,” Justice argued at Compassion’s side, “but what you suggest is not true justice. It is my aspect, twisted; it is Vengeance. Destroying them all will not make it better, and it will harm many who do not deserve it.”
Rage sneered in their faces. “Why do you defend someone so weak, so uncontrolled?”
“Because it is kind,” Compassion answered.
“Because it is right,” Justice snapped.
Behind them, Nylah continued in a softer tone, “… was terrified. But part of me wondered what it’d feel like. Especially as I got older. Clinical curiosity as a Tranquil, I guess. A couple of years ago, when a boy told me I was pretty. And Maker, so was he. What would he have done if I’d invited him to?” Her eyes flitted to Desire.
Patience put a gentle hand on her shoulder and murmured, “There’s plenty of time to find out. If not with him, then with someone else, and with the fullness of your ability, awareness, and consent.”
Nylah nodded slowly and turned away. “You saw me. But… but you didn’t. You only saw what was done to me, what you lost. You couldn’t see past it couldn’t see what I lost.” She choked on a sob. “I lost everything AND my best friend too?”
Grief wrapped itself around her like a blanket and the other spirits tensed, knowing there was little they could do. Grief was - at times - right. This was not something they could help. Nylah’s fate balanced on the edge of a knife.
“It isn’t wrong to grieve what you lost,” Grief murmured softly. “What will you do with it?”
For the first time since her self was restored, Nylah fell silent, and tears fell freely. “She lost me once,” she said softly. “I’ve lost her twice.”
“And you lost yourself the first time too,” Grief whispered. Nylah’s ragged breathing slowed and Grief whispered, “What will you do with me?”
For a moment, Nylah did not answer. Then slowly, she reached for Acceptance with one hand and Serenity with the other. “I will mourn,” she murmured softly. “And I will move on. It may take me a while. I have seven years to catch up on. But if I don’t move on, I will change Grief into Bitterness, and that won’t help. Not you, not me.”
“Thank you,” Grief whispered in her ear as its cousins closed in beside it.
And under their shelter, Nylah wept.
~~~
In the material world, Nylah’s body also wept. Then slowly, she blinked. Even slower, she sat up. Antoine and Evka immediately closed in on either side of her.
“What happened?” Evka asked sharply. “Are you alright?”
Nylah offered her a watery laugh and wrapped her arms around both of her Warden companions. “No,” she answered softly. “Not by a long shot.”
She paused to fix a watery stare on each of them in turn, then up at Rowan, and finished, “But someday, I will be.”