Work Text:
"Bowsie."
"Boo."
Two kings, equally as immature as each other, sat on opposite sides of the room, their respective partners beside them.
Nearest to the door sat King Boo and his darling husband, Petey Piranha, who seemed quite calm. He was quietly there, mainly admiring his spectral love.
On the other side, by the windows, sat Bowser and beside him, a nervous Luigi. Luigi wasn't good at a lot of things. Being calm was one of them. Being calm around King Boo (or any ghoul, for that matter) was impossible for him.
"So," King Boo began, struggling to sip on his tea due to his stubby arms. "You wanted us to visit you for a... meeting?"
Bowser huffed in response. "I wanted YOU for a meeting. Your husband could have stayed with your boo 'children' or whatever you think of them as."
Petey Piranha, not being as smart as the human and kings in the room, pointed to the windows. "Sun is out. Nice."
"That's right, my sweet." King Boo smiled at his husband. It wasn't a malicious smile, baring his fangs. No, it was a sweet, soft, tender smile. The same smile nobody but Petey ever saw.
That unnerved Luigi, who tugged on his collar nervously. To avoid eye contact, Luigi looked at the suddenly very interesting floor.
King Boo merely snorted as he saw the slight fear and panic in Luigi's eyes.
"What are you laughing at?" Bowser asked, his voice gruff as ever.
"Your pathetic excuse of a queen." King Boo shot back, only to feel a leaf upon his... shoulder? Whatever the part between his arm and body was labelled.
It was Petey who shook his head in disapproval.
"My apologies." King Boo huffed out, glancing at Luigi once more. "He does look rather pathetic, though."
"I did not invite you here for tea and for you to insult my husband." Bowser spoke up, drumming his claw against the arm of his chair.
"Then i suggest you get to the point. You know how i can be rather impatient, dont you, Bowsie?" Boo only called the koopa by that name because he lived(?) for the way Luigi would tense up every time. He chuckled when it happened again.
"You really fail to be amusing, Boo." Bowser bluntly stated, his voice as flat as a heart monitor connected to a dead man.
"Well, excuse me for trying to make this meeting bearable. We've been here for what, 17 minutes? And you haven't even started." King Boo finally managed to drink some tea. Unfortunately, he did have to use them, which made him look a bit silly.
"Maybe if you stopped wasting time like how you wasted resources on those mansions of yours." Bowser shot back, coldly glaring at the spectre
"I didn't use any of your materials for those structures!" King Boo zoomed up from the seat he was perched in. Petey stood up with him, his leaves reaching out to him. "You know very well I made them from dust!"
"And you wonder why they were so flimsy!?" Bowser, too, stood up, prompting Luigi to stand up and grab his arm in an attempt to coax him back to his seat.
Luigi shot an apologetic glance to Petey Piranha, who mouthed 'sorry' in return.
With a reluctant sigh, Bowser sat down, but Luigi couldn't bring himself to do the same.
"I ought to put you in your place." King Boo snarled, his fangs bared
"What place? Someone needs to put you in your place! You're below me, whether you're a king or not. I rule over the kingdom. You own a small section." Bowser argued back, actually having a decent point for once.
King Boo growled. For a ghost who's probably over 100, he really wasn't an expert at managing his anger. "I'll stuff both of you into a frame, you idiots! I'll end you both!"
"Boo, we haven't even started yet!" Petey spoke up, grabbing one of those little stubs that King Boo calls his hands.
"Try anything, and I'll have you dead!" Bowser roared, aiming his claws to scratch the ghoul.
"BOWSER!" Luigi suddenly stopped his foot down. "Aya... stupido. You can't go picking fights with allies."
"Call me an ally to my face." King Boo suddenly demanded to Luigi. "Look me in the eyes and say we're on the same side." He smirked, knowing Luigi could never. Luigi couldn't even look at him without a horrid flush of memories washing through his mind. They came out smooth like a river running. None of the memories were good. Nothing regarding King Boo was ever good. Nothing regarding King Boo ever would be good. He would forever be the face of danger.
"You can't just demand that." Luigi answered, trying to sound brave. He hadn't let his eyes steer away from the ground yet.
"Then sit down and hush up. Aren't you supposed to be a good 'wife'?" King Boo spat out harshly. Petey looked at him in disapproval, shaking his head.
Luigi wordlessly sat down. He was ashamed. He shouldn't be married to Bowser. He wasn't good enough. He was disobedient. Timid. Pathetic.
Finally, he glanced at Bowser when he heard a terrifying growl. The same growl he'd heard when one of his children was injured by others.
Luigi looked away again. Hmm, very interesting floor. It had... uh, squares. Actually, it looked a bit like a chessboard with how it was checkered with black and white. A life-size game of chess could be fun in here. The thought actually made Luigi giggle.
"What are you laughing at?" King Boo asked, his eyes squinted as he glared at the green clad plumber.
Luigi looked at the ground and did not laugh again. Boy, he did not want to interact with King Boo. He was a prick. A HUGE prick.
"Can we actually get on with this? We have kids to get home to." Petey Piranha, now rather impatient, spoke up.
"Exactly. Our darling children need us." King Boo nodded along with his husband.
"Fine." Bowser let out a long sigh, smoke puffing from his maw. "So, as you know, with mine and Luigi's recent marriage,"
King Boo rolled his eyes, prompting Petey to whack him lightly just behind his crown.
Bowser quite clearly noticed the eye roll and rolled his own in turn. "That means your rivalry has to end."
"No."
Petey stared at his husband in surprise and very worried. His lips pressed into a frown as he once again glanced at the once nervous Luigi who was smiling at the ground again.
Luigi really wasn't with the moment. He was zoned out, still imagining a life-sized chess game.
"Boo, maybe you should reconsider this." Petey spoke up, rather worried for the alliance of the boos and koopas.
"Why should I end my decades old rivalry between myself and a pair of weak plumbers?" Boo spat back, now fairly agitated with both his husband and the king koopa sitting across from him. Although none of that compared to the hatred he felt towards that pesky little plumber.
"Boo, are you actually trying to break the bond we have with—" Petey stopped in his tracks. He couldn't remember the name of the kingdom they were currently in, nor could he remember the king's name.
"The koopa kingdom." Luigi whispered, trying not to draw attention to himself, but to still be loud enough to help the mutant Piranha Plant.
"Thank you!" Petey exclaimed rather loudly, oblivious to how Luigi was being quiet on purpose.
Luigi merely sighed and went back to his imaginative game of life-sized chess. What a geek, huh?
King Boo scoffed at whatever just happened. "Petey, you can't seriously be on their side!"
"Boo, i know I'm not that smart, but if you refuse to put your issues behind you, we'll lose the protection we have over our home." Petey placed one of his leafy 'arms' on the back of his husband's head. "We don't have a choice."
"If we didn't have a choice, this meeting wouldn't have been held!" Boo suddenly snapped, slamming his stubby arm on the small table beside him as he shot up from the seat he hovered on.
"You are in the presence of your leader!" Bowser snarled, standing taller than Boo who snarled back.
"A leader who has no regard for his own subjects!" King Boo shot back, glaring daggers at the koopa king.
By this point, Petey had given up. He knew Boo wouldn't behave himself no matter what he said or did. He crossed his arms and watched the scene go down. He knew he'd get involved if things got physical, which, hopefully, wouldn't happen.
"How dare you insinuate such a thing!" Bowser roared, stomping his foot on the ground, making the room shake. "I do care for my subjects—"
"Your majesties. Your highnesses." An unbothered goomba entered, a tray of teacups, biscuits, sugar packets, mixing spoons, and a small jug of milk on their head. "Would anybody care for a refill?"
Bowser huffed, smoke puffing from the corner of his mouth.
"Delightful." King Boo smiled, using his crown's power to place the tray on the table in front of them. "How splendid of you, my darling."
The Goomba didnt spare another glance to a single person in the room and waddled out.
King Boo scoffed, turning back to Bowser. "You say you care for your subjects, yet you fail to teach your very own castle staff basic respect to royalty."
"Their families should be the one to instil proper etiquette into them. Not their king." Bowser snarled right back.
"Hmph. Well, I suppose we're done here, Bowsie?" King Boo asked, a smirk graced upon his ghostly lips
"No. No, we are not done, King Boobert." Bowser reminded, crossing his arms.
King Boo, who had already turned around with Petey right behind him, groaned like a child being told to put some cookies back in a jar. "Whaaaaaaaaat?" He turned around, a new expression of an annoyed frown on his face.
"You are a king. Do not act so childish." Bowser gestured to the seat where King Boo once hovered.
"Don't use my full name. You aren't my father." Boo moaned, setting his spectral self back in the chair.
Bowser huffed again. This was getting annoying. "If you cooperate, you can leave."
Boo rolled his eyes but smiled when he felt his husband at his side, a leafy hand on his stubby arm. Ah, how he loved Petey Piranha.
"Ahem." Bowser cleared his throat and momentarily glanced to his own husband, who had fallen asleep through all that. It was nothing new. He knew royal meetings were a bit boring for the sleepy Luigi and how he had a habit of falling asleep during them. "Now, Boobert,"
"Boo is fine." King Boo reminded, his cheeks slightly pink now. Stars, he hated his name. It was too childish for his liking.
"Boobert." Bowser was really just taking the piss now. The embarrassment from Boo was too good to pass up. It was even funnier to see how his cheeks darkened when Petey would rub his stubby arms to comfort him. "Now, about ending your rivalry—"
"Nope!" Boo interrupted.
"Boo-boo..." Petey whispered with slight worry. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knew how it could destroy their kingdoms if Boo refused to even hear Bowser out.
"No?" Bowser snorted. "Give me a chance, would you. I think you've interrupted me enough now."
"I refuse to end my rivalry with that," Boo gestured to the sleeping Luigi. "lazy bones, just because you gave up on pursuing that Barbie princess to have the whimpy plumber."
"Is that really want you want?" Bowser asked, his brows furrowing. "You want to risk your own kingdom and your husband's land because you happen to dislike my husband?"
"I am not that pathetic." Boo hovered higher, giving the illusion he was standing. Again, he was face-to-face with Bowser. "I loathe that man. There is nothing you could possibly see in him! A king, like you, should have a proper partner—"
"Because you've done better with your idiotic, mutated plant!" The air in the room felt warmer after Bowser spoke.
Luigi had woken up and was watching, trying to piece together what he'd missed.
The bottom of Petey Piranha's jaw hung down like Derek Bently at his execution.
Boo, on the other hand, looked outraged. "Any alliance we once had is gone." He suddenly declared.
"I shan't be the one needing your help. I have the Mushroom Kingdom and its allies. Remind me who you have?"
Boo clenched his jaw, his fangs bared. "Let's go, my dear." He tried to hold Petey's hand, but his own failed to reach.
Noticing this, Petey softly smiled. The remark from Bowser hurt, but seeing his husband struggle with something so silly was too adorable. He reached towards Boo's hand and took it.
Bowser and Luigi were left in the room alone, the air feeling much warmer without the cold of the dead.
"Why would you insult his husband?" Luigi suddenly spoke up. "You realise he'll begin to cause problems for us now that the alliance is gone—" His breath hitched as he realised it was his fault. If he and King Boo were never enemies, the meeting wouldn't have been held. If he hadn't married Bowser, the alliance would still be going strong, but no. He ruined it. "Oh- oh, I'm so sorry." He swiftly apologised, standing up as he made his way over to his husband, his knees feeling weak from the guilt.
Crash
Gee, Bowser suddenly getting on the ground was loud.
"He won't do a thing." He assured, taking Luigi's hands. "He wouldn't stand a chance against us."
The two made eye contact, ruby meeting saphire. Ah, Luigi could stare into those gorgeous eyes all day.
"You're right." The plumber nodded, one hand wrapping around two of Bowser's fingers. "We'll be okay."
They can only hope.