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To say that Kimi had trouble sleeping would be an understatement. He would usually fall asleep, with quite the difficulty, laying stiff and hardly ever being comfortable. The blond would just stare at the ceiling above him - it's unsettlingly dull white made the whole thing seemingly harder.
Once he had finally closed his eyes though, the nightmares would begin. The constant thought of failure and falling behind tormented his consciousness almost every night. The disappointment and shame that failing or barely passing would bring to his family's name made his head spin.
As far as he could remember the harsh dreams and sleepless night were a part of his nightly routine. In many of them he'd see himself standing in his room, looking down at his desk covered with stacks of books, empty mugs of coffee and some dry energy drink cans.
His parents would be there too, looming over his shoulder. There was something in their eyes, something cold and distant every time he'd turn around to sheepishly look at them. Their faces would have some unreadable expression solidified into them, an almost neutral frown leaning into disappointment. His father would say some words - nothing understandable though - a jumble of words blurred together and rushed.
The more the Finn's parents spoke, the louder the ringing in his ears would get, drowning out any other sound. It made his head spin and caused trouble catching a breath. Kimi would either run off, bolting through the door to his room or just squeeze his eyes shut in hope of waking up.
His dad - a respected doctor, and his mum - a known lawyer, always pushed him out of his comfort zone, more frequently than not, putting pressure on him to perform well. Although he knew they wanted the best for him, he felt how much their expectations weighed down on him with every passing year of education.
He hated being jolted awake at some ungodly hours like 4 am, more often than not laying on the floor, one foot still on the mattress, covers haphazardly thrown over him. Either that or he'd spring up covered in sweat, his eyes wide and alert. He'd sit or lay there for a few minutes, trying to take his mind off whatever fucked-up-story his brain played that night.
He's pretty much given up wearing a shirt to sleep since the sweat would make it uncomfortably cling to his skin with all the moisture-drenched fabric.
It's happened so many times already that he started to use this occurrence as an excuse to get out of bed, quickly throw something on and leave his dorm for a walk. He tries to do his best to not wake his roommate - Fernando. It doesn't take much effort though, since the Spaniard is able to sleep through everything and snores like a chainsaw, successfully drowning out any other sound in their dorm at midnight.
The night would usually provide the much needed cold and tranquility after such a sudden awakening. After a couple, ten, maybe fifteen minutes pass, Kimi would come back a little more refreshed, in spite of the feeling of uneasiness still hanging over him.
He'd get into the messy bed once more and hope that the few left hours of sleep would pass by undisturbed by his imagination.
---
A loud notification sound accompanied by a buzz lit up the screen of Seb's phone that rested on the nightstand.
"hey man, you up?" The notification read.
The German groaned and rubbed his eyes, barely concious enough to grasp his surroundings. He knew who it was. Obviously, if just the fact that someone was texting him in the middle of the night wasn't giving it away, the custom text-tone did. Sebastian set it to a specific sound and would turn up the volume every night so that he'd know if Kimi ever needed to talk.
The man rolled over in his bed to reach for the bedside table, successfully grabbing his phone and unlocking it without dropping it onto his face.
He picked Kimi's number and pressed the call button. Almost instantly it was picked up the Finn.
"I can't sleep..." The man admitted with a groggy and hushed voice, "I don't even wanna go for that stupid walk anymore," he added, exhausted and frustrated.
"You wanna talk about it?" Sebastian asked simply.
His question was followed up by a few seconds of silence and a weak "yeah" from the other end.
"I just-" Kimi added, shifting around to sit up at the edge of his bed, "I'm just so tired of all of this, I really, really need a fucking break," he admitted with a sigh.
The lack of sound stretched between them. They've already gone over this conversation so many times that Sebastian knew the best he could do was just listen, just be there for the guy.
"It started out so well. I loved cars, I loved how they work, how alive they seem. Now that I'm two years deep into engineering, I don't even wanna look at or hear cars. It's ruined them for me. The theory, the math behind all of this - sure, it can be interesting - but for fucks sake, give me a break. I don't wanna hear about thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, stress analysis, torque vectors, or computational modelling ever again."
There was a heavy silence on the line.
"And my parents, oh god. Can we swap families, Seb? How can yours be so supportive and shit? I mean - I really wish I could have that kinda people backing me up even when life feels like crap and stops making sense, not just expecting good grades and flying colors, you know."
"Sorry," Kimi's voice came through after a beat of silence, "I hate doing this - waking you up just so I can whine about life."
"Don't mention it," Sebastian said softly. "You know I don't mind. That's what friends are for, aren't they?"
Kimi huffed a breath — something between a sigh and a laugh.
"Still feels like I'm bothering you," he admitted under his breath.
"You're not," Seb insisted, more firmly this time. "I'd rather you call than just...sit there with it."
Kimi didn't answer right away, the quiet static of the call filling the space between them.
"You know," Seb added, tone lighter, "you're allowed to hate it sometimes. You're allowed to be tired."
"Feels like I’m tired all the time," Kimi mumbled.
"That's okay too," Seb said. "Doesn't make you weak, Kimi. Just means you're human."
Another beat of silence. Kimi shifted on the line — Sebastian could hear the faint rustle of sheets.
"See you tomorrow then, right?" Seb asked eventually, giving him a soft out from the conversation if he wanted it.
"Sure," Kimi said, voice already a little heavier with sleep.
"Get some rest," Seb said gently.
"Good night, Seb."
"Good night, Kimi."
Kimi pressed the button on his screen and hung up with a heavy sigh. He stared at the screen for a minute, his eyes tracing the digits displaying the early hour on his lockscreen. The Finn exhaled and rubbed his eyes before shutting his phone off and setting it back on the nightstand.
He shifted around on his bed, it's mattress' springs squealing beneath his body. As bright stars shined outside, he laid back and closed his eyes. The rest of the night went by rather quickly and uneventfully.