Archive of Our Own ^omega

Let the record state that Suguru Geto had no autonomy over who his roommate was.

That responsibility fell to his landlord, a middle aged woman who was desperate for money and did not seem intent on dropping much for repairs. God knows she didn’t care who her residents were.

Shoko was at fault for this. A single roommate is no problem, she had claimed, I have three, and we’re fine.

That was all true. What was also true was that those three were very nice girls who had rules and boundaries and cleaned up the kitchen when it was their night to do it.

When Jasper had moved in, a few days after Suguru had, he’d been so polite that Suguru almost felt good about this.

Jasper had brown hair and blue eyes, he was relatively tall (not as tall as Suguru himself) and seemed to take care of his appearance. But, much more importantly, he had acted like he wanted to be friends, and Suguru reciprocated with just enough enthusiasm. They made a clean up plan, exchanged phone numbers, explained their general schedules and quirks for living.

Within a few days, they were playing video games together, watching movies, complaining about work and life. Like friends would. Suguru starts classes, continues working, just like he expected.

Jasper doesn’t follow the cleanup schedule. He doesn’t respond to Suguru’s texts, all of which were of relative importance. He complains about Suguru’s work schedule being inconvenient, for a multitude of reasons Suguru didn’t bother to listen to. Yes, Jasper’s first impression was a good one. And it was completely inaccurate.

Suguru starts blowing him off more when he wants to hang out. Jasper always has something to complain about, and simultaneously is something to complain about. Suguru stays in his room and locks the door, says he’s just busy with his classes. That much is true. University is a prison. Their conversations become short and not very sweet.

It doesn’t take long for Jasper to give up. He takes over the rest of the apartment and leaves garbage and filth everywhere. Suguru almost wishes he’d kept up that friendship just so he wouldn’t have to deal with some stupid revenge mess.

Suguru never should’ve trusted Shoko for life advice.

-

A month after Jasper and Suguru move in together, and about a week after Suguru started avoiding him, Suguru walks in on him making a phone call in the living room. It sounds heated, so he listens in to collect gossip for Shoko (her life must be so bleak if she finds this interesting) and doesn’t turn the corner to announce his presence.

“Baby, I’m just saying, we could’ve just moved in together, if you weren’t so – no, nothing. Whatever. You’d rather room with Nanami, right?”

Oh, dear god. He has a partner? Suguru pities whoever this fool is dating.

“I’m not accusing you of anything. It’s just weird that you were insisting so hard on staying with him. Yes, you were insisting. It wasn’t just one time – stop that. You’re gaslighting me. You’re such a bitch sometimes, Satoru. Holy shit. Maybe it’s better that we didn’t move in together.”

A pause in the conversation. Probably whoever this Satoru is telling Jasper to fuck off. Hopefully.

“It’s - fine, sorry, babe. I’m just frustrated. My roommate is so fucking annoying. Yeah, I know. I did give him a chance. It’s not my fault.” Jasper audibly groaned. “First you’re saying I’m exaggerating how bad you wanted to stay with Nanami, now I’m a bad roommate. C’mon...”

Man, Suguru wishes he could hear the other side of this phone call.

“Whatever. Love you too. Yeah, see you soon. Bye.”

Suguru walks in at the perfect time to act like it was just a coincidence, speaking a few seconds after he hangs up.

“Woah, you got a girlfriend, Jas?” Suguru had very clearly heard him say Satoru, definitely not a girl’s name. He applauds himself for acting like he didn’t hear the whole thing.

“My boyfriend, Gojo.” Jasper is leaning against the kitchen counter, facing the living room with his phone laying beside him and a grouchy look on his face. “He’s always on my ass, you know how it is.”

“Mm. Yeah, I get it. What’s he like?” Suguru enters the kitchen and clears his plate off into the green bin. He wasn’t done eating, just needed some excuse when he’d heard Jasper on the phone.

“He’s pretty hot. Kinda prissy, but it’s cool. A huge nerd.” Suguru will give Jasper credit for the fact that he seems endeared by his boyfriend in general, even if he seemed displeased with him over the phone. He does, however, note how the first thing he mentions is Gojo’s general level of attractiveness. “Just wish he’d stay away from that goddamn roommate of his...”

“He seems pretty cool.”

“Yeah, he is.” Jasper taps his fingers on the counter. “Kento Nanami, do you know him?”

“Nanami? Yeah, I do. He’s in the same program as one of my friends.” Jasper scoffs.

“I wouldn’t trust him if I were you. Especially if you’ve got a girl. He doesn’t seem like the type, but I know he gets off on stealing people’s bitches.”

“...” Suguru blinks. Nanami has a long term girlfriend from high school, some girl who took over her parents’ bakery and opted out of university. He’s stoic and always turns down advances from tons of women when they go out. “I’ll keep that in mind, I guess. Hopefully your boyfriend doesn’t... fall for his charms.”

“Mhm.” Jasper has stopped listening, instead choosing to open his phone and walk away slowly in that way people do when they’re clearly not aware of their surroundings but still have a destination. Suguru watches him for a moment before making his way back to his room, pulling out his own phone to text Shoko.

geto-kyun >.<

yo

what do u know ab satoru gojo

ieiri shoko

who is satoru gojo

is he fine

geto-kyun >.<

one could assume...

he's dating my roommate and jasper does NOT seem to like or trust him

ieiri shoko

if bitchface hates him then i love him

enemy of my enemy is my friend or somethnig

Suguru would say hate is a strong word for someone Jasper is dating. He just didn’t seem to trust him, much less have an interest in real conversation and choosing to argue instead. Yeah, from what Suguru had heard, he inferred that Gojo wasn’t the initiator of that fight, and he would generalize the rest of their relationship with zero other context.

geto-kyun >.<

idk ab hate..

jasper also said nanami is a manwhore LFMAOOO

shoko ieiri

kento nanami? THAT nanami?

oh shit wait gojo is his roommate

hehe jsut remembered

geto-kyun >.<

yes... we know....

No matter whether Jasper was deeply in love with Gojo or hated him more than anyone else. If Gojo was anything like his boyfriend, Suguru already knew what his opinion of him would be.

He’s very content in the knowledge that he’ll probably never meet Gojo.

-

A couple weeks later finds Suguru fumbling with his key at their front door, dropping it onto the floor and cursing loudly. The worst day ever just destroyed his soul, and now this?

It all started, as bad days often do, with his alarm not going off. He ends up 10 minutes late to his first class, and the door is locked. The professor takes one look at him when he knocks and shoos him away. After 2 months of perfect attendance and not a single late.

So he went to the convenience store down the street, the only place that he consistently went to to buy snacks and energy drinks to save him from the inevitable depression university would inflict on him. It was closing down. Permanently. Suguru wished he could’ve wept right there, on the street, without facing judgement from strangers.

His next class was apparently being held in a different place than usual, which he was informed about in an email that Suguru didn’t see. He enters the empty classroom and thinks, score. He could finally pick his own seat.

It’s 15 minutes later when he realizes what happened, and by then it would be too late to get there without that lecture hall also being locked. He blows off his last class of the day to walk aimlessly around campus and suffer. Then he has a 5 hour shift to work, and then he gets to go home, with no snacks and three lectures to watch from all of his missed classes.

He picks up the keys and slams the right one in the keyhole. One of these days is gonna be his final straw.

Suguru opens the door quietly, as Jasper always kicks up a fuss when he’s too loud, and hangs up his jacket in the hallway. Underneath is a black Sleep Token t-shirt that he hadn’t realizes became a little too tight on his arms and chest during the last wash and dry cycle, and he had to wear it the entire day.

He walks into the kitchen to get something to eat and stops dead in his tracks. Sitting on his couch is an angel.

Maybe not an angel, but he fits the look. White hair, pale skin, blue eyes, a sharp facial structure. This boy is a piece of art, inspiring Suguru to wax poetic. He picks his jaw up off the floor and analyzes that he seems to be a bit awkward and uncomfortable, probably from being in an unfamiliar place alone; this must be Satoru Gojo, Jasper’s ‘pretty hot’ boyfriend. Seems he failed to clarify that that meant he was the most beautiful being ever created.

“Hey.” Suguru begins, probably a little too casual to the point of awkwardness, “You must be Gojo.”

The angel’s attention is drawn immediately, eyes widening and a bashful look coming across his face. “Yeah, that’s me. I assume you’re Geto.”

“You assume right.” Suguru’s smile grows wider. That beautiful face has a beautiful voice to match. “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot from Jasper.”

“All good things, I hope.”

His face drops slightly, remembering what Jasper had said before, but he fixes it right away. Pretty hot, but kinda prissy, and a huge nerd. What a glowing review. Everything he’s been told since then has been worse.

“Of course, yes. The real thing doesn’t disappoint.” Suguru can’t help letting a flirtatious undertone into his words while talking to someone so pretty, even a taken man.

“Geto.” Jasper says from the other side of the couch, the coldest glare that’s ever been directed at Suguru on his face. Message received, I’m supposed to leave my own kitchen now. Absolutely not.

“Heyyy, Jas. Nice to see you.” It’s not, but that doesn’t need to be clarified. Gojo smiles awkwardly, obviously being overly polite in the eyes of his boyfriend’s roommate. Jasper’s glare only gets more hateful the longer Suguru spends in their presence, preparing food.

“Satoru, I invited you over to hang out, not for you to flirt with my fucking roommate.”

Jasper is quiet when he says it, but not nearly quiet enough. Suguru startles in the kitchen; to him, it’s an obvious ploy to embarrass Gojo in front of Suguru, probably so he doesn’t pull a Nanami and try to steal him. To make Gojo seem like a desperate whore.

Not like Suguru would have a problem in that case anyway. Gojo’s face was angry and ashamed at the same time, and he responded far quieter than Jasper had spoken. Civilized.

It became clear to Suguru in that moment, as Jasper berated Gojo for apparently whoring himself out for other guys, that he was the opposite of civilized. Jasper was a dog failing to realize he was in the glowing presence of an angel.

Or a god, Suguru supposes. A gracious god, who doesn’t tear into this sinning moron, or curse him for eternity. Suguru wouldn’t be so generous in Gojo’s place.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Suguru interrupts their quiet arguing, drawing their attention. “Uh, have a good night.”

Dump him. Dump him. Please dump him.

-

The apartment is quiet throughout the evening, and the sound picks back up after night has fallen. Of course, not anything other than arguing. Suguru hears it all unconsensually.

“It’s fucking weird -”

“Weird to want my boyfriend?”

“I told you, I just met your roommate, and you want him to hear that? You’re absolutely disgusting.”

“I don’t want him to hear it, what the hell? You’re staying over anyways, did you really think we were just gonna cuddle?”

“I, well, yeah?”

“Are we middle schoolers? Come to bed or get out.”

Gojo doesn’t even offer a response. Suguru hears a hard slap, footsteps getting quieter, Jasper cursing in pain, and then the apartment door slams.

-

After the incident, Suguru thinks, maybe his prayer worked and Gojo dumped Jasper and is happy and free. He hasn’t shown up around the apartment since that night. Unfortunately, nobody is ever that lucky.

He runs into Gojo at the coffee shop on campus a few days later. He didn’t realize they even went to the same school, since Jasper didn’t, but apparently that’s Gojo’s part time job. Suguru walks in and notices his shock of bright white hair, and then his accompanying bright blue eyes. An angel through and through.

It’s a slow evening. Most people don’t buy coffee at that time, so the shop was a ghost town. Suguru enters, feeling perfectly in place with his deep eye bags and slouching figure.

“Ah, Gojo.” Suguru greets. “Funny seeing you here.”

“Is it really?” Gojo says wearily. “I’ve worked here for 2 years.”

“It’s my first time here.” he admits. He’s not much of a coffee drinker. Gojo watches him expectantly. “Uhh, what do you suggest?”

“Hm... I don’t drink coffee, so I don’t have any personal recommendations, but people tend to love the cappuccinos.”

“Interesting... how awake will that make me on a scale of one to ten?”

“...” Gojo looks thoughtful for a few moments. “Maybe a seven or an eight..?”

“Cool. I’ll go for a cappuccino then.” Suguru really wants to ask. Not for himself, for Shoko, of course. He doesn’t have a nice way to segue into the conversation, so while Gojo makes his drink, he jumps right in.

“So, uh, what happened the other night?”

Gojo’s hands hesitate where he’s working, and then keep moving. “You mean with Jasper?”

“...Yeah.”

“We didn’t break up, if that’s what you’re asking.” Gojo’s voice is flat.

“That’s not what I meant, no way.” It most certainly was. Gojo doesn’t have to know that.

“Yes it is. I can say that with confidence.” Suguru watches him pop the lid on his drink and decides to give up his questioning. “Your cappuccino. $4.50.”

“Awesome. Thank you.” The drink isn’t great, but it’ll do the trick if Gojo is being honest about the caffeine effects. Suguru rustles up some coins. “So, what’s your major?”

Gojo’s lips twitch with the ghost of a smile. He looks dead inside, as much as Suguru himself, and he figures working in customer service will do that to you. Even if there’s not many customers to service. “Astrophysics.”

“Holy fucking shit. You must be smart.”

“I assume that wasn’t in my boyfriend’s glowing review.”

“...Unfortunately not. That’s really cool, though.” Suguru hesitates to say his own major, but Gojo sends him a look and he caves immediately. “I’m majoring in psychology.”

“My god, who could’ve guessed.”

“I know. Very niche and unexpected. At least I’m not going into therapy.”

“I don’t know, you look like you could use some.”

“You got me there.” Suguru laughed. “Not any more than the typical university student, I guess.”

“You know, in astrophysics we say--”

“I’m sure the fuck you do not. Don’t patronize me now.” Gojo rolls his eyes. “So, you’re going to avoid coming over forever now?”

“Nah, not forever. Give me a few weeks and I’ll be back.” Suguru sips his coffee and stares at him in silence, waiting for a better explanation. As expected, Gojo caves immediately. He seemed like the type to hate silence. “Jasper’s always doing shit like that. I need to beat him to death some day soon, I swear--”

Suguru’s laughter fills the empty shop. Gojo’s smiling at him dopily, in a way that would make his boyfriend blow a fuse. It makes Suguru feel like he’s glowing.

“It’s no big deal, I promise.” Gojo’s voice is a little softer now, a little less guarded.

“Alright, if you say so. Thanks for the drink, I’ll see you around.”

“See ya.”

-

They do not see each other around. Contrary to before, Suguru believes he may actually see Gojo again. He doesn’t.

Jasper is as annoying as usual, but not in a way that he can justify complaining to most people about. His landlord wouldn’t bother with any personal disputes, obviously, and all Suguru has is personal disputes. Jasper doesn’t clean. Jasper doesn’t ever listen to him. Jasper is so fucking annoying when he talks about Gojo.

Suddenly, talking about Gojo goes from “He’s cool and hot and has a single negative attribute that gets more derogatory every time” to “He is absolutely flirting with everyone he comes across and I am justified in being disgusted by him.”

He is definitely not justified, in any case. Suguru has experienced talking to Gojo away from the prying eyes of Jasper, he knows that he’s just good at conversation. As much as he’d like to think there was something else there.

Who gives a shit that Gojo has a boyfriend if that boyfriend is an ass?

Gojo, Suguru reminds himself, Gojo gives a shit, probably.

It was only right that he did. At the end of the day, Jasper was still Gojo’s boyfriend, and Suguru was an observer. It wasn’t like he had a crush, anyways, it would be completely illogical.

“Sure you don’t,” Shoko said. “You think about him all the time and go on rants about him to me daily because you don’t feel anything for him.”

“Horrific overstatement,” He tells her through the phone, standing outside of Gojo’s place of work. “But whatever. Should I go inside or not?”

“Are you insane? Fuck no. Suguru, my dear. You haven’t been in there once in 2 years of living there and going to school there, and you don’t drink coffee, and suddenly you go to a coffee shop twice in a week just after finding out he works there? Go walk home, man.”

Suguru sighs hopelessly. “You’re right. I’m just a fool.”

“A fool in love, man. A fool in love.”

“I wouldn’t say in love. Maybe I’m a bit... caught up in the whirlwind. Lavender haze, Taylor Swift would say. It’s still my roommates boyfriend at the end of the day.” Suguru sighed and walked away. “I mean, we’re not even friends, either.”

“Isn’t he enrolled in one of your classes?”

“Hm?” Shoko spouts nonsense almost constantly, it seems, with rare moments of wisdom like just seconds ago. “Which one? I haven’t seen him in any.”

“It’s one that’s starting late, because the professor was on vacation, or something. So far you’ve just been watching lectures and doing research assignments..?” She speaks like it should be ringing bells, or like Suguru is dumb for not remembering.

“Ahh, yeah. Cognitive neuroscience.”

“Yeah, or something. Nanami said Gojo’s also in that.”

Suguru kicks a rock. “You’ve been talking to Nanami about this?”

“I needed to talk to someone who saw how crazy what you’re doing is. You’re trying to steal someone’s boyfriend, no?” Shoko laughed. “But I’d support you anyways. Bitchface is asking for it.”

“He is, definitely. He keeps calling him a bitch. So demeaning...” He paused, the rest of what she said kicking in. “Hey, I’m not trying to steal anyone’s boyfriend-!”

They hang up a few minutes later when Suguru reaches his apartment, unlocking the door just as they say their goodbyes. Suguru exhales before opening the door, preparing to face Jasper. His presence would destroy Suguru’s life force by the end of the semester.

“Hey, man.” Jasper calls from somewhere in the apartment after Suguru drops his bag on the counter. “How’s it going?”

“Good, great. You?”

“Mhm.” Seconds pass. Suguru squints at where Jasper’s voice is coming from as he waits for more. “Thought I should let you know, I’m gonna be working overtime for a while so, uh, don’t expect me home too often now...”

Suguru could’ve jumped for joy. “Thanks for the heads up. I’m heading to bed.”

“G’night man."

Suguru did not, in fact, go to bed, as it was only 7 pm. He checked the class list for Cognitive Neuroscience instead – and just as Shoko had said, Gojo was enrolled. An astrophysics major in cognitive neuroscience... He supposed it wasn’t that weird, but definitely unusual. There was no necessity for Gojo to take that class since his major was almost completely separate from psychology.

Hm. Well, given that the class was starting 2 days from then, Suguru figured he really would be seeing a lot more of him.

Maybe that was what he’d meant, at the coffee shop. Maybe he thought Suguru knew about it already... Whatever the case, he’d be careful not to let Jasper know; he’d throw a fit.

Just like he’d done earlier that week when it wasn’t Suguru’s turn to wash the dishes and Suguru didn’t wash the dishes. He felt like a prisoner in his own home, sometimes, having a temperamental man baby around.

Maybe his opinion was swayed by the fact that Satoru Gojo could do so much better. It was definitely influenced by the jealousy that such an angel would choose Jasper and not himself. Even Shoko, a ginormous lesbian, and Nanami, the straightest man Suguru has ever met, said that Gojo is highly attractive. Nanami said he’d never go for him, though, even if he was into men – something about an insufferable personality.

None of that matters if Gojo had already chosen the one for him, though.

-

Cognitive neuroscience starts off easy. Suguru has everything he needs to back up being in that class; he’s taken various science and psychology courses at this university for 2 full years already, so he’s not worried about how he’ll perform in this class. He enters the lecture hall and stops in his tracks, thought, because he’d completely forgotten that he’d be seeing Gojo here in the flesh. It was easier to deal with when it was just a concept.

But there he is, sitting by a closed window with light pouring on him. He’s wearing a black hoodie and sunglasses propped up above his forehead, legs crossed in front of himself. The sun makes him look even more like an angel, despite his attire and the bored look on his face that screams I’m too important to be here.

Suguru knows that if Gojo really does have a big ego, it’s completely justified. There's zero doubt in that regard.

He doesn’t hesitate to take the open seat on Gojo’s right side. He came a few minutes early to claim a seat, and it seems like Gojo did the same.

“Hey, Gojo.” HIs eyes shoot open and find Suguru’s own curiously.

“Geto? You’re in this class?” Suguru can’t read the emotion of that response, whether it’s well concealed disgust or well concealed glee. Maybe he doesn’t care at all. Either way, operation pretend like you’re just dropping by to say hello to a familiar face and go sit somewhere else is ready to go.

“Mhm. Psychology major, remember?”

“I remembered.” Gojo takes the sunglasses off of his head and ruffles his own hair, letting it fall gracefully over his forehead. He drops them down on the table carelessly. “I guess it’s weirder that I’m here.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s weird, exactly.” Suguru drops down his bag and sits down. He would, in fact, say that it was weird. “But what’s the connection between astrophysics and psychology?”

“A certain someone recommended I take this to improve my scientific inquiry and problem solving skills. Basically, just for research.”

“Mm. Psychology courses are basically all research.” Suguru’s foot taps the ground rythmically, but in silence, despite his chunky boots. “I’m sure you already knew that.”

Gojo nods. “Definitely. Astrophysics has a good amount of research as well, but Nanami reads over all of my research papers and says they’re lacking every time. So I guess I need more practice.”

Suguru notes that Gojo doesn’t seem like he enjoys the notion that any of his work is lacking, even if it’s just in the slightest, just off of a solid 100. His voice has a bitter undertone. Suguru, however, has been told that his own research is impeccable by many different professors; it’s almost an art. He says as much to Gojo, who smiles mockingly.

“I’m sure. Guess you’ll need to help me out, then.”

“Ah, only if you want it, of course...” Suguru pointedly doesn’t bring up Jasper, although he wants to mention so badly that he would be displeased by them spending time together. “You need to be smart enough for your major that I’m sure you’d make it by, but if you want your research to shine...”

Gojo scoffs. “My research would shine with or without you. Don’t get it twisted.”

“I wouldn’t doubt -” The professor enters the room and claps her hands, stopping him in his tracks. Probably for the best. Almost all the other seats have filled up, students streaming in without Suguru even noticing. Time flies when you’re having fun, he supposes. The room goes silent and class begins.

The rest of class is unremarkable. Gojo draws some creature on his paper that looks like it just crawled out of hell. Suguru takes a few notes and understands everything with relative ease, just as expected, and Gojo types obnoxiously loudly on his sleek, expensive laptop.

An hour later, the professor says class is over, despite there still being 20 minutes left. Some nerd in the front row who Suguru has been in classes with a bunch, Yuta Okkotsu, raises his hand to remind her of that. The professor doesn’t even offer a proper response, instead she just waves her hand and says if he needs help to come to her office hours.

She’s a flippant woman, Suguru surmises, packing up his bag after class. He takes a glance at Gojo and sees he looks uncharacteristically nervous; good thing Suguru has zero tact.

“Hey, something wrong?”

“...” Gojo rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “I think I should’ve taken some more biology and psychology classes before jumping into neuroscience...”

“Ohh.” Suguru understands now. “Yeah, the more technical psychology classes are hard if you don’t have an extensive background in it... I know if I took an astrophysics course at your level my mind would probably melt out of my ears.”

“You’re right. I’m lucky I’m so naturally smart, then. But maybe you could keep me up to date on the context of what we’re being taught...”

“Right, the context. I can do that.” The look on Gojo’s face has gone from nervous, maybe embarrassed, to barely concealed relief. Suguru is glad to have been the one to cause that. “Well, 20 minutes until class is supposed to end. I could explain the context right now, since I know you don’t have anywhere to be.”

“I guess my schedule is pretty clear. Alright, tell me everything you know.”

-

Turns out, that was a lot.

They ended up sitting there for an hour past the official end of class, and since it was the last class of the day in that hall, nobody bothered them. The professor told them to lock the doors and turn off the lights when they were done.

At first, it really was just work talk. Gojo explained the complexities of what he was learning in his main courses, and Suguru explained the biology behind what the professor went over that she assumed everyone would know already.

It shifted to Gojo gossiping about all the people he knows and doesn’t like, and Suguru listening aptly, having hardly anything to contribute about people in his own life; the main person he has to complain about at that time is Gojo’s boyfriend, which probably wouldn’t go over well.

Suguru learns that Iori Utahime, a communications major, has a hallway crush on Shoko, except they never see each other around campus so she has to engineer opportunities to see her. Suguru tells him that Shoko is into girls, because Utahime wasn’t sure, and that she dated Yuki Tsukumo. Yuki was confident and popular, which worried Satoru for Utahime’s chances with Shoko; Suguru assured him she has a chance. Yuki and Shoko are still decent friends, Suguru is friends with her as well, and Yuki has a whole new boyfriend now.

Gojo texts Utahime that information right in front of Suguru’s eyes, without telling her he was spreading her secrets. Gojo seems like the type to not realize that it’s impolite, even if it’s for the greater good, to gossip about someone’s romantic interests.

“At least Shoko will finally score a date,” Suguru justifies when Gojo realizes his rudeness, “She’s been single for way too long.”

A year, to be exact. That’s not really too long.

Then they move onto the topic of dating. Suguru mentions his girlfriend from high school who wanted to get married as soon as they graduated, because she had traditional views and didn’t want to have sex before marriage, and his boyfriend from first year that he only dated because Shoko told him he was too in his shell.

Subtle way to tell him he’s into guys, but no matter.

Gojo tells him how he’s never dated anyone before Jasper, and goes even deeper to say he was always afraid of never finding love since he went to private Christian schools his whole life and thought the whole world was homophobic. Suguru says his parents used to try to force him and Shoko together, despite knowing she was a lesbian and Suguru was way more into men.

Suguru wasn’t expecting this angel to be such good company. Most people seem to have either good looks, personality, or smarts, but Gojo has it all and more. He makes Suguru laugh until he can’t breathe, and he completely misses the dumb smile on Gojo’s face watching him.

Suguru’s heart is beating a mile a minute, and his cheeks hurt from his grin, and he’s having the best time he’s had in a while.

Butterflies are no joke, Suguru learns that day. They’re unreciprocated, of course, but he’s known that all along. God forgive him for taking such an interest in a taken man.

-

“How can you tell me to stay away from any other guys but you’re still talking to your ex regularly!? How is that fair?”

“She’s not interested in me, Satoru! I already fuckin’ told you that! God, do you not trust me at all?”

Satoru laughed. “No, I fucking don’t, not right now. You’re so possesssive and I can’t be the same way? What did you say before, that’s how you show your love? You just don’t want me to have anyone to go to!”

“Man, fuck me for being pissed that you were ogling my roommate, I guess. Are you fucking joking?”

“I looked at him!” Satoru shouted. He slammed the apartment door behind them. Hopefully Nanami wasn’t home that night. “I looked at him. You call that ogling?”

“Yeah, I do, when he’s wearing a shirt that makes him look like a fucking bodybuilder! If he’d known you would be over that day and pulled that shit, I would’ve beat him up.” Jasper threw his coat onto the floor.

“You think you would win in a fight against Geto? The ‘bodybuilder?’”

“That’s not what I meant! He’s fucking weak compared to me, his muscles are just for show...”

Satoru snickered. “Mhm. Right. Are you done?” Jasper looked like he would burn down the building at this point. Guess Satoru would have to calm him down. “Baby, I wasn’t ogling him or flirting with him... I just wanted to make a good first impression...”

“Yeah, whatever.” He always shut down whenever Satoru had good reasons for his actions.

“And it makes me really uncomfortable for you to still hang out with your ex, I know she isn’t into you, but I just...” Satoru played up his sadness whenever he had to talk about things like this with Jasper. He never reacted well, exactly, but he reacted better when Satoru seemed to have strong feelings about it.

Mostly, Satoru was angry that Jasper thought he would get away with that bullshit. He’s Satoru Gojo, did Jasper really think he wouldn’t notice?

“God, fine, I won’t see her anymore, is that better?”

“...” Satoru scowled. “Sure.”

“As long as you don’t talk to Geto in that class you have with him now.” Jasper glared at him, blue eyes digging into his soul. Not like his own were much different. Satoru froze. “Yeah, I found out about that.”

“I wasn’t hiding it from you. It just wasn’t important. And you need to trust me...”

Jasper suddenly grabbed his wrist and pushed him back. Satoru yelped when his back made hard contact with the wall adjacent to Nanami’s room. “What the fuck, Jasper, get the hell off me -”

Nanami’s bedroom door banged open. Satoru’s stoic roommate stepped out, grabbed Jasper, and forced his fingers to unlatch from Satoru’s wrists, since he was unable to do it himself. Satoru shoved Jasper away from him once he regained movement of his arms and stepped away.

“Jasper.” Nanami’s monotone voice never failed to intimidate Satoru’s pathetic boyfriend. “I think you should leave now.”

“Euh.” Jasper dusted himself off and grabbed his coat from the floor aggressively, scrambling through the door. “Not like I’d wanna stay here with a cheating bitch and his side piece in the first place.”

“Fuck off, Jasper.” He slammed the door in his face as soon as he could.

“Is this why Shoko kept calling me a manwhore?” Nanami sounded exhausted. “Satoru, what have you been telling him about me?”

“I may have forgotten to tell him about your girlfriend.” Satoru grumbled. “He assumed the manwhore part himself. Jas probably told Geto about it and Geto told Shoko about it...”

“Geto? Jasper knows Geto?”

“Oh my god, Nanamin. You’re missing out on everything, aren’t you? Sit down. We need to gossip.”

-

It becomes a regular thing, after that. The professor is careless about what time class ends and Gojo always stays with Suguru right to the end, oftentimes even longer, even joining Suguru back to his apartment when Jasper is working overtime. He works more and more these days.

It’s been almost three months since they moved in together, one since he met this beautiful guy, and a couple weeks since Jasper became less and less present.

Suguru assumed Gojo would be around the apartment even less now, even if before it was less than once a month. Now it’s twice a week or more, and hardly ever when Jasper is around.

...Suguru doesn’t tell his roommate about it. He doesn’t want the mess, he doesn’t want Gojo to leave. Judging by how Gojo never falters with how often he’s around, he also didn’t spill the beans.

If Suguru wanted to trick himself, he’d say that Gojo was getting involved in emotional infidelity with him. Friendship doesn’t count as that, though, despite how Jasper would frame it that way if he knew.

Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t know that makes Suguru feel like they’re doing something wrong.

Suguru learns about the Gojo family’s high expectations of his new friend, how he was supposed to go into business but he knew his parents would be forced to support him no matter what so he chose what he had passion for. He learns about how Gojo can play 3 instruments and speak just as many languages, and how he hated his birthdays until he made friends in high school because he was jealous of how others got presents and he never did.

Suguru tells him that his family had the money to put him through university, but chose to make him work grueling hours in high school to teach him true struggle, but also always went on vacations without Suguru his whole childhood and left him with a family friend who didn’t like kids. He feels Gojo’s careful gaze from the other side of the counter, where he watches him make them instant ramen.

Gojo tells him about his friendship with Nanami, and how he’ll pretend to hate him but he has a soft spot after Gojo was bullied in high school and had nobody else. Suguru tells him about how Shoko was the one who got into fights with his parents when he was severely depressed for them to take him to a doctor, completely changing the trajectory of his life.

They watch all of Gojo’s favourite shows and listen to all of Suguru’s favourite music. They text when they’re not together and call on the way to separate classes and Suguru goes to the coffee shop at least once a week whenever Gojo is working.

But despite all of that, Suguru still comes home from work some days and sees Gojo cuddled up with Jasper on the couch and they’re giggling together and Suguru doesn’t bother saying hello, because he knows all it will do is make Jasper angry. Gojo’s eyes track him through the room, and Jasper knows.

The closer Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto get, the more Jasper fades out of Satoru’s peripherals.

-

One day, when Jasper says he’ll be out all night, Suguru gets some cheap beer and invites Gojo over to drink with him. Gojo comes in his work uniform and Suguru lets him wear his clothes, because they can’t let Jasper find out that he was there unless Gojo tells him.

“I swear, they’re always insisting that I made their drink wrong and then it’s not their drink. I know what I’m doing, good god, these people just don’t know how to look at a receipt and listen for their own number instead of someone else’s...”

“Sounds like a prison.” Suguru says blandly, popping open a bottle. “Maybe this will help you, uh, destress?”

“Trying to get me drunk, are you?”

“Ah, I’d never.” Suguru smirks at him. “Gojoo, don’t you trust me?”

He knew Gojo was nervous about his first time drinking, since his family was super conservative. They didn’t even let him drink after he turned 19 since they believed it was juice straight from the devils loins.

“You can call me Satoru, you know.”

“Hm?”

“Satoru.” He repeats. “My first name. We’re close now, right, Suguru?”

Suguru’s smirk transforms into an uncontrollably wide smile. “Of course, Satoru. Right as always. But it’s time to face your fears, no more distractions. I promise I won’t let you get too drunk.”

That promise was not upheld, because Satoru turned out to be a huge lightweight, despite being as tall as Suguru himself and not a complete twig. By his second beer, Satoru was rambling on and on about the most random of topics.

He starts with classes, then work, then friends, then the current state of the world and his political views, and then finally to Jasper. He doesn’t seem like the hopelessly in love guy he does when he’s with Jasper in front of Suguru. He seems low, in a way, like talking about it brings him down. Like being with Jasper is a performance he can’t keep up.

Suguru follows along as best as he can. Satoru rants about how Jasper makes a mess of his place and he and Nanami have to clean up after, as much as he insists on doing it alone. Suguru says he does the same thing here, and it only got better after he was out of the apartment way more. Satoru rants about how Jasper doesn’t respect him, doesn’t listen to him, still hangs out with his ex, acts like he’s a whore for having friends.

“Satoru,” Suguru interjects after a few minutes of him going on about that last point, “Do you love Jasper?”

“Love him?” he echoes.

“Yeah.” The apartment is silent this late at night. They’re in Suguru’s room, on Suguru’s bed, and Satoru is wearing Suguru’s clothes and going on and on about how horrible his boyfriend is. It’s a valid question, Suguru’s drunk brain thinks. “Like, really love him, not just instinctually saying you love him.”

“...” Satoru blinks a few times and takes another swig of beer, ignoring Suguru’s warnings from just a couple minutes ago. “I don’t know. I don’t, I don’t think so.”

“Then why..?”

“I don’t know.” He says again. He sinks into the pillows, silent for the first time in an hour, at least. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before.”

“Really?” Suguru remembers when he was in love, or when he thought he was. Seeing someone’s soul and all of their flaws through their eyes and words and actions and thinking it was beautiful anyways. Seeing the dents in their character and overlooking it because the beauty outweighs it all. Having to leave them behind like none of that intimacy meant anything.

It made sense that Satoru had never been in love before, if he really didn’t love Jasper. It’s a hard feeling to place. When you feel it, when you know it’s real, everything else fades into the background.

You let yourself be hurt over and over again by the one you love because of who it is hurting you, not just because you’ll do anything to feel that closeness. That, Suguru thinks, is what separates his experiences with love from true love – he overlooked it all because the warmth was something he’d never been shown, and the cold was what he’d always expected. Suguru had been desperate for closeness, and although the love had been real, it wasn’t pure or good.

He doesn’t say any of that. He waits for Satoru’s answer in silence, not knowing what it will be, knowing it will break him if he says he really is in love with Jasper.

“I don’t know.” That seems to be Satoru’s slogan for the night. “Have you ever been in love?”

“I don’t know.” Suguru hesitates. “I’ve loved people before. You know I’ve dated people before, and I loved them, maybe I was in love. But I guess if I’m doubting it, I must’ve not been...”

“Hm.” Satoru stares at him, mouth slightly open, but he doesn’t seem to realize. Suguru’s lips resist smiling at his stupid expression. “Love doesn’t only come once, does it?”

“It comes and goes.” Suguru says, not really sure what the question means. “You love and you lose, man. You love and you lose.”

And that seems to satisfy Satoru, but doesn’t make him happy.

“...If you don’t love Jasper now, I’m sure you’ll get there eventually.” Suguru doesn’t know how long they’ve been dating. Suguru and Satoru have been very close friends for almost three months now, and he and Jasper have been roommates for 5 or so months. “But if you’ve been dating forever and you don’t think you’re in love, it might just be...”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Satoru gobbles up some of the popcorn they got to watch the movie that’s been paused for 2 hours at least. “It’s only been like, 6 months. So it’s whatever.”

“That’s cool, dude. Congrats.” Please leave him. Please leave him.

I love you. Please leave him.

-

Memories of that night come in bits and pieces. He and Satoru each got blackout drunk after that conversation and thanked god in the morning that Jasper is coming back after classes and not in the morning. At first, neither of them can think back to the night after they started drinking. It’s all just a blur.

Since Suguru has a lot more experience getting drunk and dealing with a hangover, he gives Satoru a few glasses of water and forces him to drink it all along with a pain killer for his head. Satoru’s eyes are bloodshot and he looks like a dying rat, but Suguru is sure he’s not faring much better himself.

He makes some bland food and helps Satoru pack his bag and they split up to go to class, because of course they chose not to wait for the weekend for this. Smart move.

It comes back throughout the day. He remembers Satoru’s complaints about Jasper, the stories from his life and his thoughts about reality in general. He remembers the stupid things he said to try to explain love.

Your blue eyes and soft skin and light hair and the brightest smile I’ve ever seen. Your sarcasm and attitude and how you move so gracefully. Your past and present and future, your physical being and every thought you’ve ever had. That's what Suguru would say if he was being honest. That is what love has become to him, in the course of just a couple months.

Suguru resists the urge to strangle Jasper to death when he takes Satoru for granted, choosing to complain instead of embrace him. Suguru wished he could say that he embraced Satoru’s flaws, but he just didn’t see any part of him as flawed. Satoru was unchipped china. Satoru was an angel, could be his angel.

He and Satoru keep up their routine. Suguru avoids Jasper as much as possible, and it seems like Satoru does as well. Suguru never sees them lovey dovey anymore; it was an endangered sight before, now it’s gone extinct. Whenever Satoru and Jasper are there at the same time, he hears them fight through the walls, he sees them angry at each other as he goes about his day. He’s sick of it.

geto-kyun >.<

i wanna move out sooo bad ho

its even worse than befoer

shoko ieiri

how..? whats goin on

with bitchface and gojo?

geto-kyun >.<

they fight ALL THE TIME

he doesnt even realize im deeply in love with him im sick of this

why does he go through this suffering when jasper is such a ho and im not

jasper still hangs out with his ex 3 my exes moved out of the country and blocked me years ago

botho f them.. maybe that means somhting

im gonna cry if i have to hear them fight one more time i just wanna spend time with my bae

shoko ieiri

operation steal jaspers bf doesnt seem to be going too good...

Suguru scoffed. His intention wasn’t always to get Satoru to fall in love with him, obviously. He started off pure, just wanting to be friends, maybe with a little crush that he would brush off. He shouldn't have brushed it off. Now everything might be over.

geto-kyun >.<

ok. im finally ready to admit

i wnat to steal jaspers bf so bad its driving me insane

He really, really does. It’s not even to spite Jasper like a lot of people might assume if they knew his story, and knew how he had always rubbed Suguru the wrong way. He just can’t stand the thought of Satoru being with such a horrible guy forever, and not because he has a strong sense of justice; it’s because of how he feels about Satoru.

He’s learned as much as he could about Satoru within the past few months, hanging out with him constantly and forgetting all about his boyfriend when Satoru smiles at him like he’s the only person in the world.

Dopey smiles, flushed cheeks, close proximity, butterflies in stomachs. That describes Suguru’s every moment with Satoru. Satoru is thriving in cognitive neuroscience – he still constantly asks about the context of certain things that he didn’t learn about because they’re separate from his major, but Suguru has no problem explaining.

Suguru helps him with his research papers when he wants him to and Satoru looks at him with endless sparkles in his sharp blue eyes. Suguru ruffles his hair and puts an arm around his shoulder and grabs his hand to get his attention. Satoru blushes and punches him lightly and clings onto him just as much, like closeness is all he could ever ask for.

That’s how Suguru feels.

He feels like he’s seen heaven. He feels like he’s experiencing it.

He’s in serious shit, now. It’s too late to back out. Satoru is his confidant, his best friend, his other half.

He regrets nothing.

-

“Suguruuu.” Satoru whines, waving a hand in his face. “Listen to me.”

“Shit, sorry.” Suguru clicks back into existence. They’re at Satoru’s place for once, because Jasper is home and Satoru wants to hang out with Suguru, not him. “I’m listening, I swear, I swear.”

“Remember when you got me drunk and we-”

“That’s one way to put that.” Suguru interrupts, side eyeing him. “It was all consensual.”

“Sure it was...” Satoru grumbles. “...How do you know if you’re in love?”

Suguru blinks. That was definitely not what he was expecting – he thought Satoru would start complaining about the taste of beer, or praise the feeling of being drunk and say they should do it again, or make fun of Suguru for how cheap it was.

“In love?” Satoru nods. “Huh, I don’t know. I guess you kinda just know.”

“So fucking unhelpful.” Suguru rolls his eyes and throws a wrapper at him. “How did you know you were in love with your boyfriends or girlfriends?”

“I don’t know, honestly.” He shoulders the weight of Satoru’s glare. “Well, I guess I just felt warm with them, y’know? I felt like they were the person for me, or they filled up my life more than friends ever could, even though I also loved my friends a lot. I don’t know if that’s what true love feels like, though, or if true love really exists.”

He’s lying, now. He knows true love exists because it ties the two of them together. In this moment, Suguru has his one and only, even as he’s alone in that feeling.

“Huh.” Satoru looks lost in thought.

“Huh.” Suguru echoes. “What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t know.” Satoru has a light flush on his face, and he looks as content as Suguru feels. They’re sitting on Satoru’s bed, in loose sweatpants and matching t-shirts that Satoru got as a joke that say “I’m insane” and “I’m fucking insane” respectively.

Double meanings, Satoru had said. Suguru considered bringing up that he should have sexual double meaning t-shirts with his boyfriend, not his newfound best friend who he’s a little too close to, but he didn’t. He preserved the magic.

“Suguru, I -”

A loud banging fills the apartment. Satoru’s face goes white. Suguru is sure his matches.

“Get in the closet and don’t move.” Satoru hisses, shoving him towards the closet.

“Is it Jasper?” He whispers. Right on cue, Jasper starts shouting to be let in, and about how Satoru must be cheating on him.

Satoru nods and closes the closet door, telling him to stay quiet and he’ll get Jasper out within a few minutes. Satoru says to not leave even if he thinks Satoru is in danger, because Nanami is home and will be there in case of emergency.

Suguru agrees begrudgingly. Satoru lets Jasper in and Jasper drags him back to his bedroom while Satoru resists and shouts at him.

Satoru must’ve shoved all the evidence of Suguru being there under his bed or something, because Jasper doesn’t bring it up.

Jasper shoves Satoru onto the bed and Satoru screams for him to stop. There’s a thump and Suguru hears Satoru breathing heavily. Jasper yells at him. Nanami crashes into the room and drags Jasper out. Satoru follows them, cussing Jasper out the whole way. Suguru can’t hear them anymore once they leave the room, until the front door slams a few minutes later.

Satoru runs back and opens the closet. Suguru stumbles out in a daze.

“Satoru, are you okay? What happened?” Suguru grabs his face and examines him, a faint red mark on his cheek.

“He hit me, and shoved me on the bed, but that’s all.” Satoru wraps his arms around Suguru and shoves his face into his neck. “Thank you for not coming out. It would’ve made everything so much worse.”

“O-of course. You told me not to.” he wraps his arms around Satoru in return, putting a hand on the back of his head and scratching it in an attempt to comfort him. Satoru was trembling slightly as he clutched the back of Suguru’s shirt.

They didn’t say anything for a while. What was there to say? Suguru racked his brain for something, anything, until Satoru began to cry. He sniffled and hiccupped and Suguru just rubbed his back, letting him get it all out.

“Satoru.” He murmured. Satoru started crying harder. “You... I don’t think you should stay with him.” Stay with me, he wants to say. Please, only with me.

He doesn’t say anything after. Jasper doesn’t know Suguru was there, he realized. He’ll have to go home and pretend nothing happened and pretend he doesn’t know that his best friend’s boyfriend, and his own roommate, is abusing him.

Satoru is too smart to let Jasper trick him into losing all his friends, Suguru knows that. That’s what he’d been doing all along, and Satoru probably realized that a while ago.

How can he be in love with a guy like that?

Because that had to be why Satoru had started asking him about love, what love feels like, right? Love feels like a punch in the stomach. It feels like looking into pretty blue eyes and knowing there’s no better sight.

Jasper also has blue eyes, Suguru remembers. Not nearly as pretty as Satoru’s, but blue nonetheless; love must look the same for Satoru as it does for Suguru. Blue eyes and bright smiles.

Suguru just holds him close until Satoru lets go, and he asks if Satoru wants him to stay. He says no, it’s fine, go home. It's late, you have class tomorrow.

I have class every day. I don’t have forever with you.

But Suguru agrees, packs up his bag and goes home, says goodbye at the door and tries to ignore how fake Satoru’s smile is when it’s usually so real. His heart is in his stomach.

Satoru doesn’t text him the next day like he usually would. It’s radio silence, which is unusual, and Suguru is worried.

geto-kyun >.<

hey, satoru

how are u feeling?

Satoru reads the message almost right away. No response.

He’ll come back when he needs to. He can’t leave forever.

-

Maybe he can leave forever.

Suguru hasn’t seen Satoru for a couple weeks. He misses his best friend. Satoru doesn’t show up for cognitive neuroscience, he doesn’t text him, he doesn’t drop by, not even to see his boyfriend. Jasper is in a foul mood, but Suguru is feeling worse.

Suguru falls into a new normal that he doesn’t really get used to, because he continues to anticipate Satoru’s presence reentering it; he gets up. He goes to class, and goes home, and avoids the coffee shop because Satoru probably doesn’t want to see him. Shoko texts him every once in a while just to ask if he’s okay, and he’s probably not. But he can’t let himself feel it.

He can’t fall apart again.

He knows the feeling, he really does. Something bad happens and all of his fractures reopen from scars into cracks into ravines in his mind, and then hes in bed and he can’t get out. Medication is supposed to fix that, but even it can’t do miracles. It can’t convince him that he’s worth something.

After those few weeks pass, he hears knocks on the apartment. He assumes it's a package that Jasper ordered, but he’s not here to sign for it since he’s still doing copious amounts of overtime, so Suguru goes to the door.

“Suguru!”

“...” Suguru blinks and rubs his eyes. “Satoru? What are you doing here?”

“Suguru, it’s -!” He stops, looking at him, up and down, and then examining his face. “...Are you okay?”

“I’m whatever.” His voice is empty, because he knows why Satoru is asking – not because he realizes how much their friendship means to him that the lack of it would put him back in this state. It’s because he sees his eye bags and slouched figure and unwashed clothes and greasy long hair and knows that’s wrong. “You wanna come inside?”

“Um, yeah. Is Jasper here?”

“No. Working.” Suguru steps aside and Satoru passes him by. “Are you waiting for him?”

“No, what the hell? Why would I be? I’m here for you.” Satoru crosses his arms and glares at him. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

That much is true. Suguru is dizzy with hunger, he hasn’t been to the gym in weeks, hasn’t washed his clothes or hair or sheets, hasn’t brushed his teeth in a while. “Mm.”

Satoru glare turns colder for his lack of response. “Alright, come on. When was the last time you ate?”

“Few days ago.” He forces Suguru to sit on the nice, comfortable couch and gets to work making instant noodles, the quickest thing they have. Suguru barely notices the time pass and suddenly he’s at the table, shoving ramen in his mouth and forcing his body to swallow.

“Yum.” he says when he’s done, hopefully convincingly. Satoru offers him one of his beautiful smiles, and Suguru loses all his will to pretend. “I missed you so much, Satoru.”

“I missed you too.” Satoru picks up the bowl and puts it in the sink, filling it with water to soak and then coming back to drag him out of his chair.

“Why didn’t you answer me?” Eating food really helps you be able to focus, Suguru realizes in that moment. His vision is clear for the first time in a while. His voice is still hoarse from the lack of water.

“I was...” Satoru looks away in shame. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t have just ghosted you like that.”

“You don’t have to stay.” Suguru tells him. “If you don’t want to stay, you can leave.” I’ll let you leave.

Satoru knows he’s not talking about in this moment. He knows Suguru is talking about forever, about throwing him away like garbage, like people do with someone who can’t properly function once they realize it’s their permanent state. Satoru knows all of it.

“I’m not leaving, Suguru. You’re my best friend, I won’t go.”

He doesn’t offer a response, but he lets Satoru lead him into the bathroom and take off his shirt and sweats so he can shower. He stands in the warm water, working up the power to move his hands to wash himself. Satoru pulls the curtain to the side and hops in with him, also in just his boxers.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Satoru reminds him. Suguru nods.

Satoru takes Suguru’s brush and untangles all of the knots that have appeared ever since Suguru washed his hair last. He brushes through it gently after, and it makes Suguru feel weak in the knees. He scrubs and massages his scalp with Suguru’s expensive, nice smelling shampoo, and after washing it out covers the lengths with conditioner.

“Satoru...”

“Shh.” Satoru smiles blindingly at him, genuine once again, and Suguru can’t help but reciprocate, grins turning to giggles. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know.” Suguru sighs in contentment as he lets himself be cared for while his limbs feel too heavy to lift. “Imagine if Jasper saw us now.”

“Ugh, don’t bring up that loser while we’re being all domestic.” Satoru pretended to vomit.

“You broke up, didn't you?” Satoru affirms it. “Thank fucking god. He’s such an asshole.”

“He is. I should’ve broken up with him ages ago.” Satoru still has a slight smile on his face, like it’s unconscious and he can’t even tell. “I think I realized I never really loved him, even if I liked him at first.”

“...Was that why you asked so many questions about love?”

“Well, sort of.” Satoru watches him scrub at his body with soap and a rag, as if he was still concerned. “That was more because I wanted to know your take on it. And I think I have been in love before.”

“Ah, really? But not with Jasper?”

“Mm, no. Not with Jasper.” He doesn’t elaborate, and Suguru figures it’s not his business. Maybe he doesn’t want to know. “So... you’re on medication, right?”

“Mhm.”

“And this still... happened.”

“It’s not a cure.” Suguru says. “It’s pretty consistent, but when the problem exacerbates itself, the meds don’t compensate as well.”

“You can say it was a depressive episode. I know what happened.” Suguru shakes his head with a slight smile.

“Yeah, well. Nothing else to say.”

Satoru shakes his head. “There’s more to say. But we can say it later, when your meds catch up to you.” He snatches the rag from Suguru’s hands when he’s done cleaning himself and throws it to the side.

Satoru pulls him into an embrace, while they’re both soaking wet and Suguru’s skin is slightly reddened from rubbing off dirt and dead skin.

“Jasper might come home tonight.” Suguru says. “This might need to go a little faster.”

“He won’t be fucking coming home tonight.” Satoru rolled his eyes, letting him go. Suguru almost took offense. “You know how I said he was still friends with his ex?”

“No. You’re kidding me.” Suguru’s hand slapped over his mouth. “Tell me it’s not what I’m thinking.”

“It’s exactly what you’re thinking. He showed up to my place throwing a fit – oh yeah, I dumped him that one day that you were in the closet...” He seemed a bit embarrassed, probably at how he hid that for no real reason. “He showed up and started shouting about how he didn’t need me anyways because he had been sleeping with his ex the whole time...”

“Oh my god.”

“I should at least hope he’s better at handling female genitalia than he is at handling a male’s.” Satoru grumbles. “He always insisted on topping but he was shit at it.”

“Shit, the plot thickens.” Satoru starts to cackle, and Suguru joins him. The situation is ridiculous. “...I need to find a new place to stay, holy shit. I am never taking Shoko’s advice again.”

“She told you to get a roommate?”

“Mhm.” Suguru turned off the shower and pulled back the curtain. Satoru stepped out and Suguru followed, grabbing two towels for them to dry off with. He pauses for a moment to ask, “you’re okay, right? Jasper didn’t break your heart too bad?”

“Like I gave a fuck about him. Suguru, I didn’t love him. I didn’t even like him. I should’ve hopped on the ‘I hate my boyfriend’ trend when I had the chance.”

“Thank the lord almighty.” Suguru leads Satoru to his bedroom for them to put on some warm, clean clothes. “We should get out of here before he comes back. I’m sure you don’t want to see him and he’d find it weird that you’re hanging around me...”

“He’d see it as proof that I was cheating the whole time. I should’ve just cheated...”

Suguru snorted. “Yeah, that would've really showed that you were the victim here.”

“Who cares what they think?” Satoru pulled on one of Suguru’s baggier shirts. “If you trust me, I don’t need the opinion of strangers for validation.”

Suguru brushes off the meaning. Satoru cares about his opinion. “If you say so.”

They left the apartment and got milkshakes at the ice cream shop a 5 minute walk away. They walked and talked and sat at a park, watching the cars pass by.

“I’m sorry, Suguru.”

“Hm?” Suguru glances up from his chocolate milkshake.

“I shouldn’t have stopped talking to you, it was stupid and selfish and just... I missed you a lot, I realized that I was being fucking stupid after a few days but I was too ashamed to see you.” Satoru looked down at the ground. Suguru looked up at the sky, bright blue.

“It’s okay, Satoru. You have no obligation to me -”

“I don’t need to.” Satoru flicked him on the forehead. “I’m not here out of obligation. You’re my best friend and I love you.”

“I love you too.” More than he could understand, in a different way than Satoru means. For a moment he’ll pretend, and then he’ll let it go.

-

Satoru gets evicted from his apartment and has to find another place to live in 2 weeks.

Of course, it’s dickface’s fault – that last screaming match he initiated was the final straw for the neighbours and Satoru had three noise complaints made about him that night. Nanami has to move out as well, but his girlfriend lives nearby and he was planning on moving in with her soon anyways, so he’s not hurting.

Suguru’s apartment is out of the question for Satoru, for obvious reasons. Satoru has other friends, but he doesn’t want to impose on them, so he’s finding a new place. Suguru looks with him – Satoru said he wants to have a roommate. Suguru doesn’t offer himself for the position, even if he really wants to. He hasn’t quite regained his confidence in how much Satoru appreciates him yet.

Satoru finds a decent 2 bedroom apartment and signs the lease agreement without thought. He neglects to go searching for a roommate, but he says it’s fine and sends Suguru one of those special smiles he never offers to others. It doesn’t explain anything, but it comforts him in a way he can’t put into words.

Suguru helps him move in and then stays the night on his couch, the same one from his old place.

After setting up the couch bed, Suguru mentions how he needs to find a new place too. He can’t handle any more time with Jasper, who has only gotten worse. He’s started bringing some girl over almost every night and she inflicts upon Suguru the fakest moans he’s ever heard, right through the walls.

Satoru was right to refuse having sex with Jasper in that apartment – the walls were not thick.

Satoru beams and asks what Suguru thought he meant when he said he wanted a roommate. Suguru blinked slow like a sloth and said he guessed he’d go on craigslist or something and hope he didn’t end up with a murderer.

No, apparently. The second room was for Suguru. He could’ve kissed Satoru out of joy.

He could’ve kissed Satoru just in general. He seemed to get more and more beautiful every day that Suguru knew him, the deeper he knew his soul the more hooked he got. Suguru could spend the rest of his life with this boy.

Suguru moves in a week after Satoru does, informing Jasper he has another living opportunity and he’ll pay his half of the rent until the lease is up. Jasper is pissy about it, as he is about everything; Suguru doesn’t care. He packs up his stuff and Satoru helps him move while Jasper is out, and he takes everything he bought with him as one last fuck you.

Satoru laughs at him for being so civil that that’s the worst thing he thought of.

They set up his furniture and put his posters on the wall and fill up his closet. It’s almost surreal – it’s been 6 months since they’ve known each other and Suguru already feels like he’s getting ready for forever with the love of his life, it feels like they should be kissing in all the rooms and laying in the fluffy carpet in the living room and being stupidly romantic like they’re in middle school and not two 20 year old men.

Once again, their routine is thrown up in the air and reformed. They go from seeing each other in class and at Suguru’s old place to having sleepovers in each other’s rooms and making breakfast together and coming home after a long day to a comforting presence.

Jasper finds out relatively quickly about the arrangement and sends Suguru a barrage of angry messages.

Satoru snatches the phone out of his hand and snaps a selfie of the two of them, where Suguru is cackling and Satoru has his hand in a peace sign and his face in a beaming smile. Jasper doesn’t think it’s as funny as they do.

Suguru has to hold himself back from going to Satoru’s room to hang out all day every day, especially once they get a week of vacation and are home the whole time. He can’t seem too desperate, or Satoru might catch on. Satoru doesn’t have the same reservations.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he did catch on, Suguru thinks, staring at him across the table at Wendy’s. Suguru’s chicken strips are probably going cold, but he’s enraptured watching Satoru gobble up multiple burgers like it’s nothing. He knows he’ll have to deal with Satoru’s complaining about feeling bloated later.

He can imagine it now – transitioning from them sleeping on the floor in each other’s rooms to dropping pretenses and sleeping in bed together every night, to being able to kiss Satoru all over his face and his head and across his body whenever he pleases.

“What are you staring at, huh, freak?”

He’s been getting used to Satoru’s awkward insults increasing in volume and intensity recently, although he’s not sure why.

“Nothing important.” Satoru squawks at the jab.

“I’m sure it’s more important than you.” Satoru inhales another bite of burger. “Just in general.”

“Mhm...” Suguru rests his chin on his hand and holds back an endeared smile at the grease on Satoru’s lips that he doesn’t seem to realize is there. He loves him more than life itself.

They’re almost silent for the rest of the meal, aside from the occasional jokes and jabs. People come in and leave and Suguru just observes, finally eating his own food as he does. Eventually Satoru gets up and puts the tray on the counter above the garbage, and Suguru follows him; Satoru decides when he’s done. Suguru will never rush him.

They go on a walk through the city, noses red and cold and shoulders banging together every other step. Suguru gave Satoru his hat after he insisted he didn’t need one back at home, and then complains about his ears freezing off in the Ontario winter evening.

I love you, I love you.

Satoru points at lingerie in a store window and says Suguru should try it on for him, get all pretty for daddy, inappropriately loud just so that other walkers will glare at them in disgust. Suguru smacks the back of his head even as he laughs uncontrollably.

Please love me.

When they get home, Satoru drags him into a hug, ignoring how he only has one boot off. It would be the perfect moment, it really would – if Suguru just took a chance for once, instead of letting any and every opportunity for happiness pass him by like he always does – what would be so much worse than a life of silence and dishonesty?

A life without those blue eyes and vicious words and endless domesticity would be worse.

“Satoru,” Suguru holds him closer “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Satoru snickers lightly.

“I mean, I like, love you. Like love you love you.”

“...I love you love you too, Suguru.” Satoru buries his freezing cold face in Suguru’s neck so he yelps. His heart is simultaneously warmed and further confused by Satoru’s words.

“Love me?” Suguru repeats. “You mean you love me love me, for real?”

“I’m for real real. You think I mean this as a joke?”

“No, I don’t mean I think you’re joking...” Suguru swallows. “I mean I think you mean that in a different way than I do.”

“I mean I want to kiss you and wake up in the morning to the sight of you with the sun making you glow for the rest of our lives,” Satoru clarifies. “...And not because you’re a good roommate and friend.”

“Okay, so we did mean it the same way.”

“No way, dipshit. You’re slow as hell today.” Satoru pulls back enough to connect their lips in a long, sweet kiss, and Suguru responds in kind. “Now go make me hot chocolate, I’m freezing.”

“Of course, your highness.”

Shoko will absolutely believe this.

-

A few dings echo through the room, putting everyone into silence. Satoru and Suguru are holding hands beneath the table, both still unable to calm down their ecstatic grins.

“I think congratulations are in order for the happy couple.” Shoko says into a microphone. The room cheers. Everyone there is pleasantly buzzed or full on drunk. The key to a good celebration, Satoru had insisted, is alcohol. Suguru always listens to him.

The room in question is filled with Satoru and Suguru’s friends and family and all of their plus ones. Nanami and his fiancée are sitting at a table with Utahime, Yuki, and Choso, with an empty chair for Shoko while she says her best man speech. Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara, the three now fourth year students who Satoru claims he mentored, are a few tables away from them. Yuji looks like he might cry.

“Ahem. Ever since the first time Suguru brought up Satoru to me, I knew we would end up here one day – don't give me that look, man.” Shoko laughs at his expression. “I didn’t know how long it would take, but here we are, four years later, and those two are finally tying the knot.”

Another round of cheers.

“I’m sure everyone here knows the story already, but if you don’t, I’ll give you a quick rundown – Suguru totally stole his roommates boyfriend back in third year. From right under his nose.”

Suguru’s grandma looks horrified. Maybe he should’ve warned her that they didn’t have a clean beginning.

“Ever since then they’ve been so stupidly in love it makes me sick to my stomach. Suguru is a schemer, if you can believe it... not that Satoru was any better. He switched to one of Suguru’s classes just to get the chance to talk to him more, all while he had a boyfriend.”

Suguru looked at Satoru, shocked, taking in his sheepish expression as the guests laugh. Satoru shrugs as if to say, you got me. Suguru most certainly has.

“But the messy beginning doesn’t matter. They make me think soulmates are real, sometimes. As well as my own lovely girlfriend, but this isn’t about us.” Some slight laughs from the crowd. Utahime turns red. “If soulmates make you lose all common sense and do anything to spend forever with them, Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto must’ve been soulmates straight from the beginning.”

In every universe. On every shooting star.

Shoko gets blackout drunk and Utahime drives her home. Suguru has to field a ton of questions from his family about the actual origins of their relationship, because what he told them was a complete lie. Satoru drags him to the limo that he insisted on renting for dramatic effect, but first, they sit down on a bench outside the venue.

“Have I told you yet how beautiful you look in that suit?”

“Only a million times, love.” Satoru pokes him in the side. “And a million times I’ll tell you you look even better. We can all see how much you work out, by the way.”

“I’m only showing off for you, and you know it.” Suguru defends with a snort.

“Yeah, I do.” He smiles contentedly and relaxes his shoulders.

The setting sun just makes Satoru glow even brighter. His shaggy hair looks like a halo, and his sparkling blue eyes are like beacons of light. Suguru can’t resist kissing his pink lips, tasting the cranberry tangerine lip balm Satoru can’t live without.

“I love you, Satoru, I really, really do.”

“Do you love me love me, though?”

“I’ll love you love you as long as I breathe.” Suguru says, grasping Satoru’s hands in his. “And then I’ll keep loving you when I can’t.”

“Sounds ambitious. You’re lucky I love you just as much.” This time, it’s Satoru stealing a quick kiss.

“Mhm. I am very lucky.”

“I’m luckier.”

“Are not.”

“Am too. Suguru, you know I am-!”

Suguru knows he’s getting the better end of the deal here. But he lets Satoru win, just like always.

fin