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Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown were having a fun night out to end their day trip to New York City. They had dressed up in their most fun clothes, and drove up for the day. New York was a fun place to visit, and Cass wanted to eat as much pizza as she possibly could. Steph, the good girlfriend that she was, just came along for the ride.
“How are you eating a burger right now?” Steph whined from where she was picking at her pretzel bites.
Cass just shrugs, taking another bite and sipping her drink. Her stomach was an infinite black hole, and New York had some great food to fill it.
“You’re impossible,” Steph says with a grin that betrays her amusement.
“But you love me,” Cass replies with a smirk. The blush that spread along Steph’s face was very gratifying.
They chattered for a while longer, conversation flowing as easily as it always did. As Cass was finishing up her burger, Steph gasped and pointed somewhere behind Cass.
“Cass. Cass. It’s Jason!!” She whispers, practically vibrating in place. “We have to go say hi, we haven’t seen him in forever!”
Cass turned, and sure enough, there was Jason. He felt… wrong. He was assuredly still Jason, but it was always odd to see any member of the family undercover. They were all good at it, so good that they changed their body language ever so slightly between personas. It was disturbing. The real Jason shone through, but whatever cover he was using right now was overlaid on top. It created a dissonance that was hard to watch. Cass wanted Jason to act like himself, but instead she observed deliberate movements that weren’t him . Under them were aborted microexpressions and twitches that betrayed who Jason truly was, and it was becoming painful to watch.
Jason was with four other people, all seemingly normal. They definitely weren’t criminals, law enforcement maybe? But why would Jason be voluntarily hanging out with cops? Jason was also attempting to pull off a suit right now, and although he was intentionally projecting comfort, Cass could see the underlying tension in his frame. It was extremely odd to see Jason in anything that fancy. Cass was pulled out of her consideration by Steph getting up and pulling Cass over to where Jason and his friends were settling down. Jason hadn’t spotted them; the dark lighting plus the secluded booth that Cass and Steph had settled in had hidden them from the front entrance. Jason ended up sitting with his back facing towards them, which made sneaking up on him easy pickings.
The pair crept silently towards their target until they were practically right behind him. None of Jason's companions at the table noticed either of them. With just a glance, Steph signaled the moment of attack. Born from years of working and living together, the two of them were masters at non-verbal planning. They sprung forward, vaulting over the back of the booth seat, squeezing in on either side of his massive shoulders. Cass almost started cackling at the aborted flinch Jason gave until he realized who they were, and did start audibly laughing at the flabbergasted expressions of the four other people he was with, one of which had been physically shoved away from Jason’s side by Steph.
He swears loudly, but doesn’t move to immediately throw them out of the booth once he processes their presence. “Cass, Steph, what the fuck???” He spits out. If he was really mad, he would’ve actually shoved them away. Instead, Cass watches as his shoulders visibly start to relax. He was just pretending to be upset, and Cass made it her new mission to make as much of the real Jason shine through as physically possible.
“Introduce us,” she demands.
She doesn’t bother turning to see his face, the faces of his friends much more entertaining to look at, but she can feel the eyeroll he’s giving her. “You’re a little asshole. Maybe I was doing something important,” he mutters.
Cass pokes his ear. “You weren’t. Where have you been?”
“Can’t you see that I’m busy with these wonderful people?” He grumbles, before forcing his voice to go smoother and airier than Cass had ever heard it. Now it’s Cass’s turn to roll her eyes, Jason’s back always tensed up when he was lying. Extending the truth, as he would say. Jason may have thought he was safe because she wasn’t looking directly at him, but she could still feel his shoulders beside hers. She didn’t bother to call him on it, Steph would bug him in a moment.
Speaking of, Steph was starting to lose the battle against her growing amusement. Steph holds it in for a moment more, before bursting out into maniacal wheezing laughter. Tears were running down her face while Jason turned and looked at her judgmentally, jostling her shoulder.
“Who- Neal- What?” One of the people sitting across from them garbled out. His mouth was gaping wide, eyes darting between Jason, Steph, and Cass.
“These,” Jason grits out, “Are my sisters. Who shouldn’t be in New York .”
“Bitch, you can’t tell me what to do,” Steph instantly retorted through her laughter.
Jason made an affronted noise, “I might be a bitch, but at least I’m not a whore.” He was going straight for the jugular, and Steph would respond in kind.
Cass wasn’t disappointed. The Steph and Jason show was infinitely more entertaining than half of the trash TV Cass enjoyed watched. The blonde gasped theatrically and said, “Wow, pot, meet kettle. Which one of us is in a throuple again?”
Cass doesn’t need to see Jason’s face to know that he’s forcing down a blush. He still replies, “Which one of us beat teen pregnancy?”
Steph pushes him, barely jostling his large frame and shoots back, “That’s not fair! You’re not a woman.”
He shrugs, “I was also dead.”
Steph scoffs, “You don’t get to pull the death card, I died too!”
“Yeah, and you were in Africa, living the dream!”
“My mom killed me twice,” Cass pipes up from beside them.
“WE KNOW,” they responded in tandem, going back to sniping at each other.
Cass takes pity on the bewildered normies across from her. “My little brother and Steph are… frenemies.”
“Little??” One of the men across from her spluttered, latching onto the only part of the conversation he could follow. “Neal is anything but little.”
Cass shrugs, “Well then, he should’ve been born before me.”
Jason shoves her without missing a beat in his argument.
One of the women across the table smiles at Cass, and she’s filled with warmth from such a kind smile from a stranger. Jason did have good taste in friends, occasionally. “Neal never told us he had sisters,” the woman muses.
Cass snorted, “He wouldn’t. I’m Cassandra, that’s my girlfriend Stephanie.”
Cass being normal and introducing herself caused the others at the table to relax, and focus on something besides the increasingly ludicrous argument happening beside them. (“Purple is objectively a better color, you look like a bitch in red.”)
“I’m Elizabeth, call me El,” the kind woman offered first.
“Peter,” the man beside her offered, half of his attention laser focused on Jason.
“Call me Jones,” the man sitting next to Peter said.
Leaning around Stephanie, the woman who was shoved aside raised a bemused eyebrow and said, “Diana. Is Neal cursed to only be friends with weirdos?”
Jason immediately retorted with, “I resent that.”
Finally, Steph and Jason got their “I haven’t seen you in-person in months, fuck you” conversation out of their systems. Thank god. The rest of the tension in the group bleeds out as Jason wraps himself back into whatever persona these people were familiar with.
Peter looks at Jason incredulously. “Neal, do you have a single normal friend?”
Steph bursts into giggles as Jason opens his mouth, and then closes it. Cass could save his ass with a lie, but she won’t. This was funnier. Jason hesitates again. He was obviously trying to think of a non caped or non Red Hood adjacent friend and failing miserably.
“... No?” He finally says.
Steph cackles, “The world would end if you ever got normal friends.”
Jason glares. “You have no room to speak, little miss dating-mini-B.”
Steph smiles unrepentantly, “I do actually have normal friends. I go to university, unlike a certain someone!” She sing-songs, directing Jason’s ire to Cass.
“I don’t wanna,” Cass mumbles.
Now Jason was glaring at her. Cass rescinded every nice thing she had ever said about Steph. Betrayal. There was no loyalty left in the world. Only treachery. Treason. Double crossing.
“Babs spent so much effort getting you an identity, I thought you were taking classes!” Jason glowered at her. He was actually angry at her now, but underneath the anger was sadness. Right. He never got to go, and now she was wasting her chance.
“I disappeared with my mother for a month or two,” Cass muttered petulantly. Which was true! Shiva just showed up and whisked her away, it was hardly her fault she forgot to email her teachers.
Jason and Steph loudly roll their eyes in tandem. You can’t loudly roll your eyes, but they managed. It was impressive, honestly.
“Cassie, you had your phone when you got back. You called me and didn’t talk to your teachers?” Steph was disappointed too. This sucked. Her closest family, teaming up against her. Horrible. Terrible. Cass was going to call up Xanthe and disappear into the spirit world again. Then she could just pretend to be a ghost for the rest of her miserable life and never have to talk to anyone ever again.
Jason flicks her forehead. “No moping. I’m all for wasting B’s money, but get an education for god’s sake.”
Steph was nodding along. Steph and Jason seemed to only get along when it was at Cass’s expense. Terrible and horrible. Divorce immediately.
“I’m learning! I travel,” Cass pouts.
Steph sighs loudly, shaking her head. “Not the same Cassie, not the same.”
Jason shakes his head in an exaggerated fashion. “I guess you’re just not good enough Cass,” he sighs.
Cass knew he was riling her up, but she still scowled. “I am the best,” she replies.
“You obviously aren’t,” Steph tuts. “Can’t even complete one course.”
“Divorce. Divorce for a million years. I’m breaking up with you,” Cass deadpans. She liked questing, was that truly such a crime?
Steph outright cackles at that, reaching in front of Jason to ruffle her hair and says, “Sure Cassie, sure. What would you do without me?”
Cass just hisses. This was abhorrent behavior. Dreadful, even. Appalling. Horrifying. Horrendous. Terrible and awful forever and ever.
Suddenly, Cass was reminded of their audience when El clears her throat with an aborted laugh. “School isn’t for everyone,” she says. “But you don’t need to sabotage yourself either. Give it an honest try!”
El was dangerous. She said that so sincerely, if Cass argued now she’d come across as a horrible person. The worst part was that El was actually sincere. She meant every kind word. So, Cass just sighed and hung her head. “I’ll try a summer course,” she mumbles into the table.
Steph gasps in delight, reaching out a hand to high five El across the table. “El, I love you. You are the best ever.”
“She is, isn’t she,” Peter replies, leaning onto his wife’s arm with a besotted expression on his face. They were sickeningly in love, it was refreshing to see.
Jason nods in agreement. “El is the best. We’ve been trying to get Cass in classes for years, I owe you.”
Steph whistles lowly. A Jason favor was worth everything, because he always delivered. If he thought he owed you a favor, you needed to take proper advantage. Cass still had two uncashed Jason favors, while Steph had zero. She had used the only favor he ever gave her to kill Black Mask. By the end of the week, his entire criminal empire had toppled. That was a day of great celebration. Steph had actually hugged Jason, and they both immediately started gagging when they broke apart. Prime entertainment, but Steph was able to have a full night's sleep without a nightmare for the first time in months.
Cass's musing complete, she shares a glance with Stephanie, and they nod once. “Well,” Stephanie says as she clambers over Jason, “It’s time for us to head back home! Bye Jay, terrible seeing you as always!” Cass gets up as well, grabbing Steph’s hand as she exits the booth.
They walk out with Jason sending them double middle fingers, laughing all the way.