Work Text:
The bright warm glow of the fire, the singing, laughs, and cheers of many voices, the telling of stories from long ago, the comfort and love of families.
It’s what lingers in memories, happy times.
Papa talking with his brother, mama sitting near making something, while playing with wooden toys and dolls. Everything peaceful and joyous, wishing it could’ve last longer, but the sounds of loud bangs followed by screams heard.
Confusion strikes first then once papa grabs his bow and tells something to mama and leaves, fear develops. More screams and louder bangs are heard, mama reassures everything will be alright. Now the bright light of fire rises in destruction.
Gripping onto the doll mama guides to a small space and says to stay, that it will be safe. She puts weaved blankets over it.
It’s now dark and the loud sounds continue. Soon the screams of mama are heard, the noises of gun shots die down and are replaced with the heavy sound of something big.
The blankets are then removed and the sight of a giant metal being towers over. Fear takes over as it reaches down and grips onto the arm.
Trying to escape its grasp but it doesn’t work as it drags the arm to a cage, struggling to get away but it throws inside into the cage.
There other children in the cage, scared, crying, wanting to get out.
The cage was closed and the rest of the memory is blank and dark.
______________________
The memory after that is horrid and sad. They brought the cages to a place, somewhere metal and scary. Children keep on screaming and crying, then the cages opens and they force everyone out, they also make everyone abandon their belongings they had.
The doll is left behind and tears are spilled and are forced to a room. Many wait in the room for some time until small beings in coats take different kids and start to examine them, they point lights and use small tools to check other stuff.
Soon after their forced into another smaller room were there’s water and stuff that stings and smells weird, clothes are discarded and we’re put into other clothes that’s not familiar.
They’re made of a different fabric and feel strange, then they put us in a metal room with other children who cry and weep for their parents. It has these metal things with what seems to be a mat but plush and felt different too, there were blankets too but nothing like the ones parents tucked their children in.
Leaning against the wall and curling up with tears following down, just trying to think of mother and father’s lullabies, hoping that they’d come find them and return them home.
_____________________
Years pass and they’ve kept them in a place of cold metal, training them to kill and destroy. Resisting is useless and the punishments are awful.
Classes can be interesting but are bland and sometimes lure you to sleep.
When you do sleep, it’s quite and feels lonely, expect for a friend that assures you everything is gonna be ok.
__________________
Showers aren’t pleasant, disinfectant stings and smells. Trying to refuse is difficult since they end in force. Today is like any other, another class as Alma talks about something about biology of animals on earth, some things she says are inserting, like bats, deer, and bears. That starts wondering about what animals are like out there, Pandora, home, well what once was home. Lessons go on and soon they’re finished and it’s off to the bunks until before bed where they force others to clean in showers.
Sitting on an empty bunk with nothing but a pillow and blanket neatly made, not much to do unless a fight happens or an interesting conversation but nothing today.
_________________
Soon its shower time and feelings of resisting emerge, trying to fight back is not an option. Trying to do obedience like everyone else but then disinfectant is pushed away and that takes notice.
After everyone leaves, those people say to stay put, just being in clothes with wet hair and looking down at the ground, then they come back with disinfectant, they try to out in in hair but fighting back seems to work this time, but then they hold arms down and kuru is grabbed and it feels the sting and now there only loud screams of pain, asking to stop, saying it hurts, it continues until the feeling of sleep but only deeper kicks in.
_________________
Soon energy is bright back and moving is acquired again but only, it’s blurry, and weird, not seeing anything but weird blurred our objects.
What’s going on? What’s happening? Why can’t I see? Feeling all around, there’s a bed, it’s soft for the most part. Trying to get off is hard without vision, feeling the floor, it’s cold.
Sitting on the bed is the only option available, while waiting for anything.
Then the sound of a door opens and someone walks inside “oar’eve” someone calls out my name, it’s Alma. I reach out and she gently holds me “Alma, why can’t I see?”. Gripping her shirt in desperation, feeling warm tears go down. She hesitates for a moment “the disinfectant damaged your kuru a bit, and that..made you blind, I’m sorry”.
Blind? So I can’t see anything anymore? Is this how my life will be like? What will happen to me because of this? Sobs escalate as there’s nothing else to do.
_________________
After that dreadful day things only got harder, Alma managed to convince Mercer to let me live but under more extreme training to see if I could still be of use. I couldn’t be with the other children that often so they wouldn't see my blindness.
Everyday was an another moment of pain, it went on for years, until Alma put me in a cryo pod and it was nothing but a deep sleep for nearly 16 years. I was woken up by a dear friend and we left everything and everyone behind for the sake of our well being.
Now a new start has begun to shed this pain.