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Right now Dean is cooking dinner in the kitchen. It a simple dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs. What’s not to love? Cas is sitting behind him pretending to read his book. But Dean can feel Cas watching him. It nice. It makes Dean feel warm and fuzzy inside. It’s almost the same feeling he gets when Cas used his grace. Almost. Everything feels right. Dean can say that now. There is no more pain no more apocalypse no more waiting for the other shoe. Nope instead Dean is filled with peace. The peace in knowing that he is alive. That they won and got the rest they deserved. There are no more shitty motel rooms and dinner food. No more hustling for money or stealing. The bunker was still there of course. That would always be there. But now it was something bigger than either Sam or Dean. It was a network Bobby would be proud of. It was a legacy they built all on their own. Not one chuck molded for them. No, it was one that created a bigger narrative that they wanted.
So what if Dean was stirring red sauce in a pan watching it bubble. What if there was soft music playing from his laptop on the kitchen island. They deserved a little normalcy. Dean deserved something boring. Something that is tangible and simple. Something that is so extraordinarily mundane and complex. Dean had earned the right to exist with Cas at his side. In a house they made their own. He had the right to live like a person who exists and has existed for all his life. Dean has a right to keep the thrall of him and cas. The rest of the world didn’t need to know. The important people knew and that was all that mattered.
So yes, he was platting perfectly cooked spaghetti. He is making a whole show of it. Doing the most by wiping the plate with a napkin. Grating a light dusting of Parmesan. Before he finally places a small sprig of mint on top before turning towards Cas. It’s over the top and stupid. But it makes CAs smile and that makes it all worth it.
Cas talks and Dean listens. They eat their food and it’s good. It fills Deans stomach nice and warm. And Cas fills his soul with a warm yellow light.
Dean used to convince himself that he didn’t want this. He didn’t need the apple pie life. It was just a damn house. He didn’t need the wife and the 2.5 kids. He tried to believe in it. Tired to infuse it into his bones. But he was wrong.
If only he can go back and tell his younger self that one day he’ll have it. He will have to fight tooth and nail for it but he will have it. But it will be worth it. It will look different than what he pictured but it will be good. Instead of the wife he will have a husband who knows him better than himself. They will have kids but not the way he thinks. Claire and Jack are badass in their own right. He is so proud of them it hurts. He will come back home to Kansas in a way that ease his troubled mind.
They clean up dinner without much effort leaving the dishes in the sink. Dean will get to them later. Right now Dean is face to face with a wall of pictures that depict the last five years. Cas is tucked under his arm looking at them proudly. They do this every night. They look at the plethora of pictures they collected over the years. Some of them are ones from Claire sent others are family reunions. A lot of them are of both Dean and CAs outside in the garden or in the backyard. A lot of them are when Jack had popped in.
Life is good.